Chapter Five: Ghost

Early morning, dreary horizon
Aching hands are pulling a millstone
Wailing from the cart
Moaning from a shattered heart
He's burned down many a bridge
And he's scared of walking in the dark
It hurts when the rain falls on his skin
Oh he is worn out from marching
And he's forgotten for what he's searching
Yet he keeps up the stride
God knows that he won't arrive
~Blue Foundation

Nilin had woken up slowly, her head was pounding and her eyes burned. She turned over under the soft blankets as the morning sunlight faintly trickled through the windows. Her eyes were dry and crusty as she rubbed them with her knuckles. It felt like she slept like shit.

Then she remembered. It all hit her, and hit her hard. From the events that unfolded at the Mystic Grill, to her ending up in Elena's bed with a terrible headache. Then she remembered her dream and waking up, Elena having to talk her out of one of her attacks. Then she must have fallen asleep again.

She took a deep breath and lifted her head sluggishly to look around the room. It was defiantly Elena's room. It resembled the guestroom somewhat. It had that bright, happy glow to it, but this room had Elena's touches to it. From the pictures scattered around her room; some held in frames, others by tacks. To her memorable items; her cheer medals, her drawing made by Nilly, her little tokens of life.

Then Nilin looked next to her, finding a sleeping Elena lying on her stomach. She was hidden by the covers but Nilly could see her head sticking out of them and the lump of sheets moved up and down as she breathed. Nilly had to get up, but her chest was sore and the constant dull pain in her head wouldn't go away. So she got up slowly, being extra careful not to disturb Elena and scurried out of the room, down the hall to the guestroom and slipped through the door.

She looked around the room as she closed the door, which now looked like a hurricane had hit it. The bed was a mess, sheets crumbled and unkempt. Her duffle bag was kicked across the room, causing various items to be scattered about. Damp towels laid next to the dresser and the bathroom light was still on.

Nilly let out an inner groan.

God, I've must have been a mess last night, she thought to herself as she began to pick up her belongings. Once the bed was made and the floor spotless Nilin sat on the small sofa in the corner. She tried to comb her fingers through her hair but they kept getting caught by snarled knots.

Her head still hurt yet the pain seemed to be fading. With a heavy sigh she got off the sofa and went over to the long elegant wooden mirror on the other side of the room. Her hair was a mess, it looked as if birds were nesting in it.

She was surprised not to have found any birds in there as she began the task of brushing it out. In the end she had gotten her brush stuck twice and somehow manage to not only pull a chunk of tangled hair out, but also hit herself in the face. And it wasn't even seven o'clock yet, but at least her hair was presentable.

After taking a few Tylenol for her head, Nilly got dress quickly. She pulled on a pair of dark jean shorts, a black lace tank top and a gray zip-up hoodie she found at the bottom of her suitcase. Then she grabbed her converses and a shoulder bag and snuck down the stairs.

The house was silent, everyone was still asleep. Maybe she should leave a note for them or something. Just so Elena wouldn't get panicky, and call the sheriff or send out an amber-alert or anything. Nilly slipped her sneakers on, threw her bag on her shoulder and scribbled on a post-it note. She stuck it to the fridge on her way out of the kitchen.

When she got outside the cool early summer air cleared the rest of her headache. The sun was slowly waking itself up, as the birds began their morning calls. As she walked down the driveway she eyed her Jeep, but continued walking. A good, quiet walk would do her some good.

It didn't take long to reach her first destination, only a couple houses down the road. Nilly now stood in front an abandon house. Who abandon it? Well, she did. And her father, years ago when Nilly was almost thirteen. The house used to be so beautiful when she lived there. Now, it was ruined beyond repair. She stared up at the house, and imagines of how it looked when she was younger came to her.

The white walls, with its blue window frames. Her mother's beautiful flower beds filled with the brightest Irises, Roses and American Dogwoods. The cobalt stone driveway, the front porch with swinging chairs her great grandfather had made, and the huge oak tree in the back yard with a tree house her and her dad had built years ago.

But now that was all gone, destroyed by time and neglect. The white paint was chipped and had a strange green tint to it. Her mother's flower bed had long since died and withered away. The cobalt stone was hidden by dense grass and weeds. Her great grandfather's chairs were gone, the porch was worn and rickety looking with missing boards. And the oak tree was dying. Her tree house was smashed on the ground, its weight too much for the sick tree.

This house symbolized Nilly's life in many ways. How a series of misfortunate events had left a once simple and pure thing spiraling headfirst to destruction. She probably wouldn't even shed a tear if it was to burn down. It was more painful to look at the pathetic thing.

She stared at the house for a long time, just standing on the side walk.

It was time to say goodbye, it was all in the past. It was time to start over and release all those old feelings. All the anger, the betrayal, the sadness, everything she's held onto for all these years. The house was a part of Nilly's past, and now she was leaving it behind her. She took one final breath, turned and walked away. The house behind her no longer held any feelings.

Elena stretched her arms and legs, pointing her toes under the blankets. Something had woken her up but she couldn't recall what. She looked at the clock on her nightstand, the red digital numbers read 7:36. She let out a sigh and turned over. What she expected to see was Nilly, still passed out and lightly snoring. But what she saw was an empty space next to her. The covers on that side were neatly folded and the navy blue blanket from the guestroom was spread over Elena. Nilin must have already gotten up. She was always the first one up, even when they were little.

Elena sat up in bed and brushed her long brown hair back. She was exhausted. After she was able to get Nilly back to sleep, Elena woke up to every little noise. Expecting Nilly to be yelling again, but she stayed sleeping. Lucky her.

Elena couldn't remember the last time Nilly had had a panic attack, it must have been the day after Elena's parents' funeral. That was a small one compared to the one she had last night. Nilly was used to her attacks, so was Elena, but it took a lot out Nilin.

Panic attacks, that's what the doctors and so called specialist called them but, Elena had always thought that 'panic attack' was down playing what it really was. These 'attacks' could get really bad, really fast. Nilin started getting them after her mom passed away, a side effect of death.

They were horrible. Nilly's heart would race, she'd start to shake, then hyperventilate, and then her throat would close. Her own mind would start suffocating itself.

The first time Elena saw Nilly have one was burned into her memory. It happened when they were eleven, it was only a few weeks after her Aunt Rocklynn's funeral, and they had been walking home from school. Someone must have said something to Nilly that Elena didn't hear, because one moment they were silently walking, then a group of girls passed by, then Nilly was doubled over clutching her chest. Elena was terrified, she didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to help her cousin.

Elena had left Nilin and ran down the street to get her mother, who'd raced down the street to where Nilly was. By the time she got there Nilly was close to passing out, still not able to catch her breath and tears streaming down her eyes. Elena's mom was able to calm Nilin down enough to get her back home. That night, Elena's parents told her what had happened to Nilly, and the chance that it might happen again. Which it did, many times after. Some better, some worse.

The eleven year old Elena was frightened by the idea of Nilly going through another panic attack, but she learned to deal with it, she had to for Nilin. Over time, she was the one others went to when Nilin had another one, because Elena knew what to do. She knew how to handle Nilin's attacks the best. But, now over the years, Nilly has learned how to control them herself, to focus on her breathing or heart rate before it got like it did last night.

Elena flung her feet over the bed, placing them on the cold floor and stretching her arms above her head. Then she made her way to the door, Nilin must have went back to her room, or something. Elena went down the hallway, she heard rustling and clattering coming from Jenna's room. An indication that her Aunt was trying to get ready. She continued down the hallway, still no movement from behind Jeremy's door... or Nilin's...

Elena tapped on the door gently, "Nilly. Morning." No answer. "Nilly?"

Elena opened the door, to find an empty room. The bed was made and her stuff still in the bag. At least she didn't disappear into the night or anything. Still, she could be anywhere. Nilin going off somewhere concerned Elena though, especially after last night. Elena knew she might be overreacting but she didn't want to take the chance.

She rushed down the stairs into the living room, empty. Dining room, empty. Kitchen, empty. Nilin could have gone to Bonnie's. As Elena went to grab the phone, something caught her eye. A yellow post- it note stuck to the fridge. Elena stopped, and grabbed the note. Her eyes scanning it;

"Hey,
Going out. Be back soon.
Love you,
Nilly"

That was it, that was all the note said. Elena even flipped it over to see if there was anything on the back. Nothing. She shook her head, curing Nilin under her breath before she reached for the phone again.

Her next destination would take a little while to reach. The walk was long, but Nilin didn't care. It took her through town, which had just begun to awaken. She could hear store owners sweeping the sidewalk outside their doors, the low hum of cars starting up and the birds beginning to crow. All signs that the sleepy little town of Mystic Falls was preparing for another day.

Nilly cut through town quickly and took a side road. She walked up the gravel path that led to the old iron gates of the cemetery in town. She scooted through the rusting metal gates and continued walking. Looking around, she saw the crumpling beams of the ancient Lockwood mausoleum.

She found herself in the oldest part of the cemetery, filled with some of the original founders of Mystic Falls. Here, there were tombstones that dated back to the pre-civil war era, many worn and eroded showing how old they really were.

The cemetery was in the middle of the Old Wood, a long stretch of dense forest around the town. The large trees provided shade from the rising summer sun. The grass was newly cut and its scent still hung in the air. A feeling of stillness and precaution filled the woods, but Nilly continued up the gravel path, meandering through the tombstones.

As she walked up a small hill, which led to the newer part of cemetery, she swooped down quickly, scooped a handful of small rocks up and shoved them in her pocket as crested the hill. The newer part of the graveyard had a different feeling to it. It was more open, no trees sprouting up like in the older parts. There was less decay here, fresh flowers laid at graves, their writing still clear and untouched by age.

She walked silently, afraid if she made to much nose the peacefulness would be broken. She knelt in front of a grave, dropping her shoulder bag to the ground and folding her legs under her. "Hi, mom," Nilly said quietly. She brushed her fingers over the headstone, tracing the words imprinted there, 'Beloved mother, dear friend, beautiful wife. Rocklynn Tae Gilbert.'

Nilly dropped her hand to her lap. "Sorry it's been so long, I coul- I couldn't come back for a while. But I did, I'm here now," she told the ground. Though no one was around, and her mother had passed years ago Nilin knew she was listening. Somehow, wherever she was, her mother could hear her.

Even if it was kind of delusional, Nilly had been talking to her mother like this for years. It was the only thing that she could do to keep some sort of connection to mom.

"Things have been bad, mom, but I'm going to fix them. I'm going to make them better." Nilly sighed and rocked back on her heels, unfolding her legs and stretching them in front of her. She leaned back on her hands, weaving her fingers through the green grass.

"Dad misses you, of course. He's still a mess but I've been watching him. He's doing better, a lot better actually. Mildred is keeping an eye on him. It was her idea for me to come back. Maybe she was right…" Nilly's voice trailed off.

Something had stopped her train of thought. Her head popped up, looking over her shoulder. She didn't hear or see anything. More like she felt something, but what? Her eyes did a 360 around the graveyard. She was alone. Everything was silent, not even a summer breeze to rustle the leaves.

Nothing, nothing was wrong. She shrugged the feeling off and sat up.

She reached for her bag, rifling through it until her fingers touch the cover of a book. Nilly pulled it out of her bag and laid the cracked leather cover on her lap. It was an ancient book, with crinkled pages and a broken spine. In the yellowing pages, though, held some of Nilin's favorite stories. The worn spine opened to the right page, permanently dog-eared by time.

"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more."

As she read it was almost as if she could really hear her mother's gentle voice floating over the words. Nilin could feel her silk robe she used to wear right before bed, while she read to a young Nilin. Sometimes, Nilin thought she could even smell the body mist her mother use to wear. It smelled like beachwood and coconuts. She knew it was just her memory at work, building a ghost to comfort itself.

Suddenly, movement caught her eyes. She froze and slowly lifted her head from the book. Nilly's eyes widened. In front of her was a huge black crow perched on the top of her mother's headstone. Its shiny black eyes fixed on her.

"Not creepy at all," she said, looking back down at the words of the poem. The crow cocked its head slightly, but its piercing eyes were still locked on her. "Hi there," she watched the massive bird, closing the book cautiously.
What was she doing? She couldn't figure out which was more disturbing; reading to a headstone or having a conversation with a crow. It was definitely something to laugh about, this is what Poe's stories were about.

The crow still starred at her, twitching its wings slightly. "I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but this poem is about a raven. Not to get your hopes up or anything." The crow twitched again. "Well maybe you prefer Shakespeare? You know;

'Compare her face with some that I shall show

And I will make thee think thy swan a crow.'"

Nilly used to read anything she could get her hands on when she was younger. Poe and Shakespeare were two of her mother's favorite authors, and she knew lines by heart. Her mother used to recite them to Nilly all the time, till they were engraved in her head. Sure came in handy now as she talked with a bird.

"Alright, time to go. Now, shoo," Nilin tried to swat at the crow. It was being to creep her out. The thing just stared at her. "Get out of here," she snapped. The crow cocked its head again and let out a loud squawk, making Nilly jump and the book to slide off her lap.

Suddenly the great bird took off, opening its wings and pushing off the headstone where it was perched. Nilly yelped and dove to the ground, covering her head with her hands, the crow's claws barely missing her hair.

Then, it was gone, back to the Old Wood or wherever the hell the god awful thing came from. Nilly stood up and skimmed the tree line with her eyes. Nothing moved, no sound emanated from the trees. She brushed herself off, picked up her book and, holding the book to her chest, took a few deep breaths.

"Well, then. Guess it didn't care for Shakespeare," she muttered to herself, in need of some noise. She bent down to slide the old book back in her bag, when the hairs on the back of her neck stood up, her human sixth sense telling her something. She quickly stood up straight, straining to hear something and slid the bag on her shoulder.

"Time to go," she said to herself, trying to distract her brain from the signals going off in it. Nilly reach into her pockets and dug around. She pulled out several small pebbles. Then she added one to the pile on the top of her mother's headstone.

"Love you," she said quietly. Then walking a few feet behind her mother's grave, she stopped in front of two other graves. "Love you guys, too." Nilly said placing a pebble on her Aunt Miranda and Uncle Grayson's headstones as well.

Then she began her walk back to town, trying to leave the cemetery as fast as possible. Nilly was at the bottom of the hill when a gust of wind blew, causing her hair to fly around widely. In the distance a crow was hawking loudly. The wind didn't quit, it hit her with another gust. The crow seemed to be getting closer. How Nilly could hear it over the wind hallowing in her ears, she didn't know.

She tried to get up the hill but her hair blinded her and the wind chilled her. Another gust, another squawk, hitting her repeatedly. Then, simultaneously the wind and the crow stopped, leaving the cemetery silent and Nilly frozen. Flashes of the nightmare she had last night shuttered in her brain. But that was only a dream, she wasn't not sleeping right now.

The thought was meant to calm her, but caused her breath to get caught in her throat instead. No reason to be scared, no reason for my heart to be pounding like this, she thought to herself.
Very calmly, she pulled her hair into a ponytail, adjusted the bag on her shoulder and ran as fast as she could out of the cemetery. She didn't stop until she was on Wickery Bridge. She skidded to a halt once she crossed the threshold. Nilly braced her hands on her knees and tried to slow her breathing. She stood there for a moment, and quickly looked over her shoulder. No one was behind her. Was there ever anyone there at all? She continued to walk back home when a thought popped in her head.

I should have taken the car.

"You haven't heard from her?" Elena said into the phone. She was pacing a rut into the kitchen titles. Ever time she called Nilin's phone it went straight to voicemail. She didn't even have her phone turned on.

"No, was I supposed to?" Bonnie replied.

"No, no. I just… she… she left a note saying that she was going out and I thought she went to see you." Elena explained. She sounded like some overbearing mother.

"I haven't seen her, Elena. Not since last night. But don't worry, she probably went to town." Bonnie tried to sound reassuring, but the other end of the phone was silent. "Elena, you don't think Damon did something?"

"No, you're probably right Bonnie, just being neurotic." Elena said now trying to be the reassuring one. "You know me," she attempted to laugh.

"You have a right to be. Nilly doesn't know about all this supernatural stuff—"

"And I want to keep it that way." Elena said quickly.

"Don't you think that it might cause more harm then good?"

Elena stood still, realizing she had been taken her pacing across the kitchen and out into the hallway. "Bonnie, if you want to tell her about your secret that's up to you," she said dropping her voice to a whisper. "But keeping her from everything that's been going on is the best."

"I understand that, but I feel like Nilly deserves to know." Bonnie pushed.

Elena chewed the inside of her cheek. "I don't know Bon..." It just didn't make sense to tell Nilin anything. If it wasn't directly effecting them at the moment, why add the load on to her shoulders? When you take a step into the supernatural world, you take on the burden of knowing everything over there. Nilin didn't need that unless it was absolute necessary.

Plus, Elena doubted that Nilly would even believe her. 'Hey, don't talk to Damon because he's a vampire and only wants to suck your blood. Oh, and we're having pork chops for dinner.' See, it sounded crazy. There was no way anyone would go for that.

"I'm not saying spill everything to her tonight, I just think that, over time, she should be brought out of the darkness. Especially if she's staying for a while. It might be for the best. I got to go Elena, I'm heading into town. I'll keep an eye out for Nilly, okay?"

"Yeah, thank you Bonnie."

"And Elena."

"Yeah?"

"Don't worry so much."

"Thank you Bonnie" Elena said, she hung up the phone. Bonnie was right. Nilly was fine and Elena was over acting. Then, why was her stomach still turning?

Author's Notes:

There ya go! Chapter Five up! Thanks so much for reading!
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Featured Works:
The Raven - Edger Allen Poe
Romeo and Juliet - William Shakespeare

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