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Chapter 7

Flowers for a ghost

See my head aches from all this thinking

It feels like a ship

God, god knows I'm sinking

Wonder what you do and where it is you stay

These questions like a whirlwind

They carry me away

And I said, who will bring me flowers when its over

And who will give me comfort when its cold

And who will I belong to when the day just won't give in

And who will tell me how it ends, and how it all begins

Jax wasn't sure what had woken him up. He glanced toward the clock and saw that it was only 3 am. He sighed as he sat up in the bed. Haley was laying on her back next to him, her head turned away. One of her hands was lying on the pillow next to her head, curled into a fist. The other was clutching the sheets tightly.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and carefully stood up. Haley shifted slightly, mumbling incoherently, but stayed asleep. Jax grabbed the knife off the nightstand, he made his way to the bathroom and closed the door before turning on the light. He leaned against the counter for a moment before using the bathroom.

After washing his hands, he splashed some cold water on his face. Jax stared at his reflection in the mirror, a sigh escaping his lips. Haley had been right about what she said, they hadn't seen one another in ten years. As much as she loved Opie, she hadn't been able to come to his wedding. She had no idea that they had all been at her graduation, she certainly didn't know that he'd been to some of her dance recitals.

Jax always made sure to keep that a secret. He didn't wear his cut, he didn't stay long after, he just wanted to see her. When he'd seen her at her graduation, there was something about her, she looked... he didn't know how to describe it. Nothing had ever looked that good to him before.

It wasn't just a physical attraction, she was a beautiful girl, but that wasn't it. He was drawn to her in a way that he had never been with Tara. He didn't know what made him go see her recital after Tara left. He had been going to pieces, he had no idea what to do with himself.

When he saw her on that stage, in that white dress, everything fell into place. When he watched her, everything made sense, everything was ok again. He'd planned on going to see her once she graduated from college. Then her mom died, and she had showed up on his doorstep basically. It made sense, it was like it was all meant to happen, and shit like that, it didn't happen to him. His dad, Thomas, Tara leaving him, good things didn't happen to him. He didn't deserve someone like Haley in his life, she deserved better than he could ever give her.

Jax sighed again and drug his hand throw his messy hair. He leaned against the counter again, when he heard a sharp cry come from the bedroom. It was followed by a thud and then a scream. Jax threw the door open and rushed out, knife in hand.

Haley was tangled with the sheets in a heap on the floor. Tears were streaming down her face as she struggled to get loose. Jax dropped the knife and moved over to her. He knelt behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder. Haley shrieked and jerked away from him.

"Whoa, its just me, its ok, calm down," Jax said as he shifted so she could see his face. "What happened? Are you ok?"

"Jax," she whimpered as she stared at him. "I... I had a nightmare, and I woke up, and you... and I thought... and I... I'm sorry."

Jax pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on top of her head. There was pounding on their door a second later. Haley stiffened and pressed her face into his chest. Jax grabbed the knife off the floor from where he'd dropped it.

"Jax! Open the door lad," Chibs shouted.

Jax let go of Haley and moved over to the door. He yanked it open and stepped outside, knowing Haley would be embarassed if Chibs and Bobby saw her like this. "We're fine, don't worry about it," Jax said quickly.

"We heard her scream! Is she ok," Bobby demanded.

"She's fine, she had a nightmare, I was in the bathroom, I guess she thought something happened to me. We're fine, I'll take care of it, go get some sleep," Jax replied.

"You sure," Chibs asked.

"Yeah, I'll take care of her, don't worry. Just don't say anything to her about it, it will embarass her."

"Whatever you say Jackie boy," Chibs replied. "Nice shorts by the way."

Jax rolled his eyes at Chibs before shoving him away. "Go back to bed you old pervert, nothing here for you," Jax replied with a grin.

"Taking care of her better not involve having sex with her Jax, Piney and Opie will kill you," Bobby warned.

"I have been warned," Jax said as he held his hands up in surrender. He waited until they were back in their room before going back inside.

Haley had untangled herself from the blankets and was spreading them back out on the bed. She finished as Jax locked the door and put his knife back on the nightstand. She sat down on the bed and drew her legs up to her chest.

"You want to tell me what happened," Jax asked gently.

Haley swallowed hard before meeting his gaze. "I keep having nightmares about it, everytime its the same, but its different too. I wasn't at my mom's this time, I was at the house she gave me. I came in and went into the kitchen, I was standing in front of the sink and someone grabbed me. They drug me back to the bedroom and threw me down on the bed. It was my step-dad."

Jax sat on the bed next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "What happened next?"

"I... I got away from him, I was running down the hallway, I tripped over something and fell. I looked back to see what it was and... it... Jax... it was you. He had killed you, slit your throat, he was so angry, he killed you. You were laying on the floor, your eyes wide open, staring at me, and I was covered in your blood," Haley said before letting out a ragged sob.

"Hey, hey, I'm fine, I'm right here," Jax said as he pulled her closer wrapping both arms around her. "That asshole isn't going to hurt me, and we're not letting him anywhere near you."

"You don't understand Jax, he... he...," she broke down into sobs, unable to speak.

Jax held her until she stopped crying. She sniffled as she pulled away from him. He wiped some tears off her face as he met her gaze. "You aren't telling us something, I can tell. Whatever it is, its scaring you, you have to tell me Haley. We can't protect you if we don't know everything."

Haley bit her lip before meeting his gaze. "He... he has ties to the Chicago outfit Jax. I think they helped him kill my mom."

"Your step-dad is involved with the Chicago mafia?"

"Yeah, my mom told me about it a few weeks ago. She found out somehow, she didn't want us involved in that. I mean, the MC is one thing, but the Chicago outift, that's legendary shit Jax. She was planning for us to leave. We were going to come back to Charming, we knew we would need protection, but we hoped he wouldn't know where we had gone. She died though, before we could."

"What happened? After the funeral, what happened?"

"Jax," Haley said with a shake of her head.

"No, Haley, I need to know. This is serious, you have to tell me. You don't have to tell me about... all of it... just tell me what he said. We need to know what he knows."

"I... I got back to the house before he did. She'd only told me bits and pieces of what she suspected. She'd written me a letter though, and had given it to her lawyer. He gave it to me at the funeral. After I read it, I burned it, she had left me instructions on how to get away from him. It was the plan she'd outlined for us, but she was afraid that he was going to do something to her before we could leave," Haley explained. She rested her head on Jax's shoulder for a moment.

"He came in, he was drunk, I don't know how he got back to the house. He went into the kitchen, said he was going to fix himself another drink. He brought me one as well. I had no idea... I mean, I should have known... but I never thought he would drug me. When I came to, I was tied to a chair in the dining room. He wanted to know what she'd told me, he kept asking me about the papers. Where were the papers? I swear, I have no idea what he was talking about. My mom never said anything about any papers."

"What happened after that," Jax whispered. Haley met her gaze and gestured to her face and side.

"I couldn't tell him something I didn't know, he didn't believe me. You know what happened next. He kept drinking while he was beating me. Once he was done, he just, passed out. I managed to get out from under him. He'd broken the bottle and I used that to cut myself free. I grabbed my car keys and ran out of the house. I didn't take anything with me, I didn't look back, I didn't even stop driving for more than a few minutes at a time."

"Jesus Haley, why didn't you tell us that before?"

"I was trying to protect the club, I didn't want to drag all of you into this. I hoped he wouldn't find me Jax. It was stupid, I should have told you guys."

"Is that everything? Is there anything else you can think of," Jax asked as he stared down at her.

"No, that's it I swear." Haley rested her head against his shoulder. Jax reached over and grabbed her legs, dragging them across his lap. He had both arms wrapped around her as she slid an arm to his neck. Her fingers played with the hair at the base of his neck. Jax pressed a kiss to the top of her head, he could feel her breathing getting steadier and deeper.

Haley's hand dropped from his hair onto his shoulder. Jax glanced down to find her asleep against his chest. He couldn't help but smile at how peaceful she looked. He carefully shifted them down so they were both on the mattress. Haley curled into his side, one of her legs dropping between his. Her head came to rest at his collarbone, one of her hands on his heart.

Jax tilted his head so his cheek was resting against the top of her head. He drew in a deep breath as he took her hand in his. He let the sound of her steady breathing loll him to sleep.