Dean, even for you, this is a whole new mountain of stupid- Lucifer (5.22 Swan Song)
Jason's leaning against his motorcycle, smoking a cigarette. Behind him is an empty, ethereal church, falling apart. To his left is two scowling red-heads.
Jason's ignoring them with the ease of long practice. He raises an eyebrow when Roy slams a hand down on his motorcycle.
"Are you even listening to me Jason?" Roy snaps, his easy-going demeanor gone in favor of all out rage. "When exactly were you going to tell us that Dick was fucking missing?"
Jason shrugs. Roy growls and rips the cigarette from Jason's hand, tossing it. Jason glowers at him. Kory sighs and stalks closer.
"Roy is upset because we had to find out from Oliver Queen of all people. Queen. Why did you not tell us?"
"Because," Jason snaps, "Only I can fix this one, Star, and with you two, trust me, it'll only make it worse. This isn't fighting crime, guys, and once you're in, your never ever out." Jason sighs, frustrated, and runs a hand through his hair, "Please."
Roy and Kory fall silent, struck dumb by the word that both would previously swear that Jason didn't know.
Jason takes one last drag of his cigarette, glowers them both into submission, and leaves.
(^^)
What happens next is a surprise to everyone.
Really, an enormous surprise to everyone, excluding Jason.
The pretty pastel package was sitting on the table, wrapped in an enormous pink bow. When Bobby unwrapped it, the enormous bar of chocolate with a small stylized trumpet on top was too much of a taunt to ignore.
Bobby clenched his jaw, grabbed his shotgun, and wheeled himself to his Toyota. Goddamnit.
Jason, on the other hand, was sulking in a bar. And wallowing, because he was relatively certain that the other two Outsiders were conducting their own investigations and he knew sooner or later that one or both of them would run into someone or something from the other side of the fence. Jason was also willing to pay good money on it being Roy.
He sighed, but smiled at the pretty thing that sat next to him. She smirked, he sighed.
Fucking really.
"What." Feeling a tad irritable, he added, "Chirsto."
"Aw, Jasy-poo, I've missed you too!" Meg said cheerfully as her eyes flashed black. Jason ignored her and traced the rim of his glass, "You're no fun anymore, really." She sniffed, her nose in the air and ordered a scotch, "Just wanted to know why you're sniffing around, last time wasn't exactly fun for anyone."
Jason snorted. "Speak for yourself, I had plenty of fun. What the fuck do you want, anyways Meg?"
"I want to know why you're getting interested despite the last thing you told me." Meg said flatly. "And, you play dirty, so excuse me for wanting you gone."
"Aw, no assassination attempts? There goes my evening." Jason chuckled and sipped at his beer. "I'm looking to get a certain asshole out of a certain someone, but I do intend to stay out of the fucking minefield. Really, I'm almost disappointed in this apocalypse. I think I can safely say I've seen better."
"Don't be a fuck," Meg said, crossing one lean leg over the other, "This one is from earth, not from the aliens." She smirked, "one could almost say it's destined to happen."
"Did anyone ever tell you that you're bad at puns?" Jason asked dryly, "I mean, Christ, really?" He smirked as Meg winced, "How many bodyguards did you bring anyways?"
Meg flipped Jason off. "Double on the rocks," Meg said to the bartender, "Just do everyone a favor and get in, get it done, and get the fuck out."
"Now," Jason said, reclining on the barstool, "I feel I'm obligated to fuck with you Meggy-steggy."
Meg faceplanted onto the table, "Father help us all."
(^^)
Bobby waits impatiently for his call to go through, cursing the day he had met John Winchester and his no good, very bad, terrible sons.
"The fuck do you want?" Rufus growled.
"Sober up, dipshit, I need yer help."
"With what?" Rufus sounds pissy. Bobby figures that he woke the man up in the middle of a bender. "No don't bother. It's about that Jace, Mason, Carson kid you've been bitching about?"
"I don't bitch." Bobby said, affronted.
"You totally do. Is it about that kid?"
"Yes," Bobby growled.
"Fine. Pick me up Gimpy. And bring me a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue."
"I'll bring you something alright," Bobby grumbled, and hung up.
Rufus sniggered and hung up.
Bobby rolled his eyes and turned towards where Rufus was currently lurking- crazy paranoid bastard. And this time, the bastard better share the liquor.
(^^)
Bad boys bad boys watcha gonna do when the cops get called on you? Bad boys bad boys-
"Excuse me for a second Megalicous," Jason snarked at the demon, and picked up. "The hell do you want?"
"Jason, why the hell is Nightwing's costume missing?" Bruce demanded.
Jason froze. "What?!"