Curb Your Enthusiasm

Things slowly returned to normal with the reopening of the Mystery Shack. For the rest of the week, Dipper and Bill alternated with leading tours while the other took care of things inside the Shack itself, each day finding something new to put out for their fascinated visitors. And at the end of the day they would close up shop, spend some time relaxing, and then head out to collect payments for Bill.

Bill was happy to see that Dipper seemed to do this with enjoyment. When he first started this again after Stan's funeral, he hadn't savored it much, just doing what needed to be done and then moving on. But now he was taking his time. Tormenting their victims. Making them fear for their lives before letting them go or killing them, depending on Bill's mood and what they owed. Laughing as the light left their eyes and licking the blood from his gloved fingers. Bill would never get tired of that.

But the number of people for them to go after was actually dwindling, and during the weekend, Bill decided to do something new.

"Kill useless people?" Dipper asked in disbelief. "Now what... what do you define as useless? Because if this is about... about physically or mentally handicapped people, then there is no way in hell-"

"Oh, heavens no," Bill replied with a dismissive wave of the hand. "Listen, you have a sense of justice, right? Sure, it's nice to take care of people who have lied to me, but kid... why stop there? We can go after criminals, you know. Murderers who have walked free. Rapists. Child molesters. We can kill those people! Imagine the good it will do for the world!"

Dipper chuckled. "Bill... we're murderers. Wouldn't that be kinda hypocritical?"

"We have reasons for what we're doing. Good reasons. We don't just kill because we want to. Our victims always deserve it, right?"

"I... I guess."

Bill pressed on, discretely extending his magic into the other, prodding at his thoughts. Not enough to be noticed, but just enough to shift his perspective. Perhaps make him more... agreeable. "So someone goes out and decides to knife a bunch of people he doesn't even know and take their money. That person is never caught, or if caught, isn't able to be convicted because of lack of evidence or some other bullshit reason. So. We track them down ourselves and do what the justice system failed to do. Doesn't it sound like fun? Maybe we can even leave a signature of some sort. Like... notes. Burnt into paper, no DNA evidence, as usual."

"Yeah..." Dipper said slowly, then agreed. "Yeah, that'd be fun! We can... we can write about the person's crime and why they died! Let people know that we're taking down criminals, make them afraid! I'm totally down with that!"

Bill took his hands, thrilled to see him getting excited. It was always great to see his Pine Tree happy. He hoped this would bring them closer together. He wanted that. Dipper has already become more loving with him, more like he was before, and Bill really did not want to ruin it.

Dipper squeezed Bill's hands, smiling, and Bill's heart leapt at seeing trust in those brown eyes once more. He couldn't lose this. He had to keep the other happy with him; don't let him find a reason to sulk. If keeping Dipper from being upset with him meant doing things to keep him busy, then so be it.

Bill swung the other around in a circle, lifting him off the ground as he did, and then into his arms, nuzzling his face.

Dipper laughed and rubbed his nose back against him, feeling the usual swell of affection he got when the demon did such surprisingly cute things. And then there was that other feeling that had become common, that feeling of guilt, which he has felt at least once a day for months... but he was the one in control of his own emotions, right? He could feel however he wanted to feel, and he didn't want to keep pushing his partner away. It was satisfying to do for a moment, but then he went back to the demon. He would always go back to him, because he still loved him and didn't want to hurt him. Yes, Bill has hurt him, but... it was in the past. Maybe it was time to let go. So he met Bill's eyes, opening his mind and letting the other know that he wasn't going to let himself feel guilty anymore.

Understanding without words, Bill leaned in to kiss him, and Dipper sighed as he felt those worries melt away. No doubt that was the demon's mental influence. Even now, the other tampered with his emotions. Not blatantly, but in small amounts. Little pokes here and there, settling strong negative feelings, encouraging happiness and trust. Dipper was used to it by now. He knew that Bill was only doing it to try and keep him in the best possible mental state. Even if the adjustments he made seemed manipulative at times... but he'd have to trust Bill. That's what this always came back to. Trust. They had agreed to this long ago, after all.

"Do you want to head out?" Bill asked softly. "I can think of a gang member from a nearby city who's coming here tonight to make some deals... we can catch him and destroy him, how's that sound?"

Dipper nodded, his mixed feelings fading as he instead felt that excitement that came in anticipation for a kill. "I think that'd be fun."

"You think so? All right. We're not gonna leave right away. We're going to go upstairs and I'm going to show you a news article about him on the Internet, so you'll know what exactly he did and who to look for."

"Good idea." Dipper followed him back to their room, and after a few minutes of research, he was more than ready to kill the man. Jason Gray was the name, kidnapping and assaulting was the game. He wasn't the leader of a gang, but he was confirmed to be in one and was one of the most troublesome members, hazing newcomers, seizing random people and hauling them to unknown locations to be brutalized by the other gang members and himself before dumping them back into the streets, and many other atrocities. There wasn't a clear picture, but he has apparently been identified, he was just difficult to capture because he was no longer living at a set address that anyone knew of. It was believed that he was avoiding police by staying at a different location during the day and going out to do his business at night, always returning to a new place once done.

"What a prick," Bill commented. "Look at the deaths to his name. All innocent people... mostly. Despicable."

"I want to kill him. I want to kill him in the same way he killed his victims."

"Hmm..." Bill clicked through some pages. "Apparently that would be by... strangulation. After he broke their jaws apart by curb stomping them. Ew, look at these photos. Oh man, the broken teeth, delightful."

"He curb stomped people?" Dipper looked at the pictures, skimming over the accompanying article, before nodding decisively and pulling his jacket off the back of the computer chair, slipping it on. "Well then, I know how I'm going to kill him."

Bill closed out of the Internet browser and shut the lid of the laptop, smirking. "I can't wait to see you give him a taste of his own medicine. Good to see you so determined, Pine Tree."

"Yeah, well... I figured I should show a little more enthusiasm. I miss the old days, you know?"

"Oh, as do I." Bill finished pulling his own coat on, tossing the hood up over his head. "Well, if you know where you're going, lead the way." He took Dipper's hand as they teleported into town.

They shivered upon arriving; it was a cold day and the wind was blowing. And it would only get colder. It was currently September; by the time October arrived, it'll probably be time for snuggling into blankets in front of a fireplace and never leaving the house.

Bill took the lead, Dipper following him through the quiet streets. Gravity Falls wasn't a very large town, with only a few places that could be called shady, so he wasn't sure where a gang member could go to talk to people in private. He figured near the bar, but there were street lamps and plenty of other buildings, so he wasn't sure if they would be able to curb stomp Jason once they got him.

Hearing his thoughts, Bill responded, I can influence people to stay away from the area. We can try to do it quickly too. Curb stomp him, let him suffer for a few moments, slit his throat. And we can leave a message.

All right. Sounds good.

Sure enough, Bill led him to the bar. It was fairly crowded, people constantly coming in and out, but Bill's eyes glowed and they just kinda stopped. No one walked out or even seemed to come near a window, and the street seemed to empty out until no one was walking down it.

I can't maintain this for long, I've distracted everyone in different ways, but eventually someone will decide they don't care and just walk through anyway. Our guy is right there, by the way.

Dipper looked over and saw a man with a shaved head loitering between the bar and the building next to it. He was smoking a cigarette and looking at his phone. Dirty jeans, a dark red shirt, a stud in each ear. A brown goatee. And his resemblance to the man in the blurry photos online was close enough that Dipper was convinced.

That's Jason? he asked Bill just to confirm.

Definitely. Go on, Pine Tree, teach him a lesson.

Dipper knew there were no cameras around here, so he pulled his hood back as he marched up to Jason. The man lowered his phone as he approached, looking bored.

"You're the kid that Tiger sent? Shit he just keeps lowering his standards doesn't-"

Dipper's fist clocked him in the side of the face. Jason stumbled back, quickly shoving his phone into his pocket and punching Dipper in the gut, knocking the breath out of him. Dipper grit his teeth and straightened up, blocking the next hit with his arm and striking the other's face again. They spent a few moments trading blows, Dipper blocking most of Jason's while his own hits almost always landed. He knew the other had a knife, could see him trying to lower a hand to get it, but Dipper kept him too busy to reach it.

While the older man was focused on the punches, slowly starting to block more, Dipper swept his legs out from under him and gave him a shove that made him fall hard on his back, head hitting the wall behind him.

Bill walked over to watch, but he couldn't participate without breaking his concentration. He had to trust that Dipper could take care of this on his own.

Jason was dazed for a few moments, but it was obvious he's been in his share of fights; he took advantage of the fall to reach into his pocket without Dipper being able to stop him, grabbing his knife and slashing at the other's leg. Dipper jumped back, and it briefly snagged on the fabric before tearing loose.

Dipper kicked his hand, knocking the knife from it, and then jumped down to wrestle with the other, until he got him pinned, one hand shoving his face into the dirt and the other holding his wrists behind his back.

"Who the fuck are you?" Jason demanded as he struggled, finding that the person on top of him was even stronger than he had thought.

"Name's not important. All you need to know is that I'm here to kill you."

"You think you're the first person who's tried to kill me? You won't be able to pull it off, shithead!"

"Oh, won't I? Need I remind you that I was beating you to a pulp earlier? That I just wrestled you into submission? What makes you think you're walking out of here alive?"

"I don't even know you, are you... are you like a hitman or something? Who put the hit out on me? Was it Cobra? Man, fuck Cobra!"

"I don't know a Cobra. No, I'm doing this on my own. I've read about you online. You're a wanted murderer. You've killed and assaulted so many people, you and the rest of your gang, which I'll take care of in time. I just decided to go after you first... you are the most troublesome."

"What're you, some kind of vigilante fuck?"

"Heh. Vigilante." Dipper lifted his hand from the back of Jason's head, taking out his knife so he could dig it into the other's back. "I like the sound of that. I guess I am."

"Motherfucker, you're what, seventeen?" Jason struggled harder, legs kicking at the ground as he tried to get up, but Dipper merely shifted his weight and pressed him harder into the ground. "I could lift you in one hand, how are you holding me down?!"

"Magic," Dipper replied casually. Bill snorted.

"You think I believe that shit about this place having magic? You're all a bunch of nutjobs, I know you aren't going to kill me, you're probably still in high school!"

Dipper pressed the blade harder into the other, cutting through his shirt and digging into the skin underneath. "I'm nineteen, actually, and quite a successful business owner. And I'm going to kill you." He stood, hauling Jason up with him and pressing the knife to his throat. "You're going to walk forward. Move."

The man scowled and cussed at him, but with the knife digging into his throat, he decided to walk forward. "How'd you get a knife this sharp?"

"Well I'm gonna kill you, I guess I can tell you my secrets. It's enchanted. It will never dull, and it can cut through almost anything. Well, anything on a human. Skin, muscle, bone... whatever I need to cut. As you're going to find out fairly soon. Come on, keep moving." Dipper slammed his knee hard into the other's back, making him groan with pain. "Out onto the sidewalk. Now down, onto the road, and turn around..." Dipper yanked harshly on his arms as he turned him. "Now on your knees."

Jason slowly got down, glancing around, seemingly unnerved by the lack of people. "Where is everyone?"

"There will be no witnesses to this. Me and my partner are excellent with magic. We're keeping people away."

"I don't believe that."

"You don't need to. Now, this is familiar, isn't it? You should know where this is going. Lay down, on your stomach."

The man's hardened expression began to flicker, betraying worry as Dipper roughly pushed him down, moving the knife away but keeping a tight grip on his wrists. "Wait, what are you..."

"Scoot forward. A little more... okay there. Now open your mouth and bite the curb. Top teeth over the edge."

"No way in fuck, man! No way!"

"Bill, hold his arms."

Bill came over and knelt down, holding Jason's arms in place while Dipper roughly grabbed his jaw.

"You're going to do it, unless you want me to force you? Do you comprehend things better when I say 'fuck'? Open your fucking mouth."

Knowing now exactly what was going to happen, real terror showed on the other's face, but his jaw went slack, at least enough for Dipper to force it open and shove his head down against the concrete, his upper teeth on top of the curb. Dipper placed his foot on the back of his head to hold it in place, looking at Bill.

"Do we have time?"

"Yes, I can hold on for a few more seconds. Do it quick."

Dipper lifted his foot, and as the man whimpered, he almost felt bad. Almost, until he remembered the horrible things he has done over the past years, and how it probably hasn't even been a full day since Jason was doing this to someone else. Really, he deserved any suffering he was given. So Dipper brushed that natural human concern for others aside, watched the other tremble for a few moments, and then brought his heel down into the back of the gang member's head.

There was a horrific series of crunching as teeth were forcibly snapped out, the jaws themselves seeming to crack and dislocate, and the moment he lifted his foot, the other screamed and forced his head up, blood pouring from his mouth along with chunks of tooth and skin.

Jason's eyes were squeezed shut as he yelled, and the other two quickly grabbed him and dragged him back into the alleyway, while he was in too much agony to really fight back. They threw him carelessly onto the ground, Bill finally releasing his magic and allowing people to resume moving about normally, and Dipper knelt down over Jason with his knife.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" he whispered as the man covered his mouth with both hands, feeling his gums and the remaining fragments of teeth, tears streaking his cheeks. "Should have thought about that before you did it to other people. Now think about how much this hurts before I kill you."

"Want me to write the note? Someone will probably be coming by here soon," Bill said.

"Just like... carve it into the dirt."

"Got it." Bill knelt down and began writing into the ground with his magic, and Dipper twirled his knife around. The moment Jason opened an eye, he brought the knife straight down into his heart. The enchanted metal sapped his life immediately, returning it to Dipper in the form of strength, at the same time allowing him to more easily sever the soul and claim it. When he was done acquiring his half of the energy, he passed the rest to Bill, and then turned to see what he was writing.

A startled shriek outside the bar got both of their attentions, and they whipped around to see a young woman and a man who was likely her boyfriend leaning down next to the curb, staring at the teeth and blood scattered there. Dipper saw the blood trail leading back to himself first, and then the couple followed it back.

"Bill," he said urgently, grabbing Bill's wrist.

"Want me to finish the note or-"

"Did you just kill that guy?" the unfamiliar man asked, and the couple stared at them, incomprehension in their eyes, and Dipper could only hope they were too drunk to see clearly as he hastily pulled his hood back up and turned his face away.

"What do you have already?" he said to Bill.

"Reason of death was for being a gang member... that's about it."

"Good enough, let's get out of here."

They wasted no time in teleporting back home as the woman screamed.