What A Cop Out

Dipper spent a few more hours practicing the spell, as Bill brought him larger and stronger animals from various demonic planes of existence. The first time he used it, on a bat-like creature that seemed fond of tearing skin off of humans, Bill took shelter behind a tree, holding the trunk tightly as he watched apprehensively.

Dipper had flawlessly yelled the words, focusing all his energy toward the animal, ignoring how it tried to claw and bite at him. It had barely started sinking its sharp teeth into him when there was a blinding burst of light, and the bat was hurled backward with an agonized screech, disintegrating into a dust that soon dispersed with the wind.

Feeling dizzy, the human had shaken his head and stepped back, trying to blink the spots out of his eyes that the light had left behind. It was like snow blindness. Through blurry vision, he had seen Bill jog past and to the place where the bat had disappeared, twirling his wrist around and then standing there for a moment. Then he had walked over to Dipper, who gratefully fell into his arms.

"Impressive," Bill had said as he supported him, stroking his hair. "Very impressive. But that was a weak demonic entity. Of course the spell worked."

"Bill..." Dipper had noticed the other shaking a bit. "Are you all right?"

"What?"

"You're shivering."

"Hmph. It's cold out here." Bill had helped the other straighten up, and Dipper looked carefully into his eyes. He was definitely nervous.

"Wait, were you scared?"

"What? I... no. No, just..." Bill had trailed off when it became obvious that Dipper wasn't believing that. "Okay, so maybe I get a little apprehensive when a human is using demon killing magic. But you would have to be actually intending to kill me for anything to happen. It's just instinct for me to worry when I hear those words. I'm definitely not scared."

"Oh man, sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. Are you okay?"

"Of course I am. It didn't affect me, I just felt the magic brush past me. It knew what I was, but I wasn't the target." Bill had rested his head against Dipper's. "You tore that animal to shreds. It's gone. Forever. There are thousands more like that, so it won't be missed. But nonetheless, you permanently killed it. I took its energy, by the way. Trust me, you don't want to take our power, it's too dark. It would destroy you."

"Destroy me how?"

"Depends on the person... But your body and mind would be torn apart. What remains after simply will not be the same. Even these small, weak creatures will cause corruption... A strong sentient demon? Absorbing their energy is a death wish. But I'm able to handle it. I'll take the energy of anyone you kill, okay?"

"All right, I understand."

They had held each other for a while, until Dipper said, "Can I try on someone stronger?"

Bill had chuckled, "Don't get cocky, kid. You need to recover. This one took a lot out of you."

"No, I'm fine," Dipper had protested.

So at the human's insistence, Bill continued to bring him opponents, and now Dipper was fighting an actual sentient demon while Bill hung back and shouted encouragement.

Dipper was tired after spending so much time using magic, but he held his own against the impish creature with sharp horns that kept jumping on him and ripping in with its claws, catching it around the neck and throwing it aside every time it touched him. It spat insults at him in another language, and he was yelling right back at it, grabbing it by the tail at one point to hurl it into a tree. Finally he managed to get it pinned under a foot and used the killing spell, ignoring how the sharp tail sliced at his legs in an effort to get him away, and by the time he was finishing the last word, his pants were torn and blood was dripping from his skin. But the spell worked as it has previously, and the demon's body was ripped apart and its soul released, to be immediately claimed by Bill.

The dream demon sighed and stood up straighter as he took it. "Mm, my kind has so much raw power... This is so much more filling than a human soul." Then he turned to Dipper and saw that his pupils were small, face pale. "Pine Tree?"

With a resigned kind of sigh, the human's legs gave out and he collapsed. Bill caught him and sank down to the ground with him, sensing the other's thoughts disappear as he passed out.

"Oh, Pine Tree..." Bill chuckled. He was used to Dipper insisting on practicing magic until he lost consciousness. There was nothing to do now but wait for his body to recover the energy it had used. Though he did notice how cut up the boy's legs were, and decided to take care of that.

Laying him out carefully on his back, Bill moved down to roll the pant legs up, glad that they were loose enough to shift without doing too much extra damage. It was cold, however, so Bill worked fast. His palms glowed with blue healing magic, and he pressed one to each of Dipper's legs. The magic slid over his skin, and the cuts knit themselves together, blood melting away and vanishing. Bill waited until the cuts were only scars before pulling his hands back. They could finish healing on their own. He fixed Dipper's pant legs and pulled the human into his arms as he saw him shiver.

"It is a cold day, isn't it?" Bill said quietly, watching his own breath puff out. "We should go on vacation some time... I wouldn't mind visiting California. Or Florida..."

Dipper was unresponsive to those comments of course, but the warmth of Bill's body made him stop shivering. Bill didn't say anything else, soon laying down with him and curling around him, content to wait for him to wake up. He nuzzled into the back of Dipper's head, inhaling the familiar scent of his shampoo and enjoying the softness of the curls against his face. As Bill's arms linked around the other's waist, he thought to himself that he wouldn't have to worry about Pavonis. Dipper learned so fast that by the time that damn peacock tried to make a move, the human would obliterate him. And that was if Bill didn't just do the job first.

Reassured by this, Bill closed his eyes and went to find Dipper in the Mindscape. Time to get the kid back to his body so they could go home.

A few days passed without them hearing from Gideon or Pavonis at all. They continued conducting business as normal, figuring it'd be suspicious if the murders randomly stopped after Gideon just so happened to mention them to Dipper. But they tried to be sneakier about it, teleporting far from their targets and walking to find them so it'd be harder to find a trace of that magic, and usually resorting to using fire and gasoline to scour an area of evidence before leaving.

Though one afternoon, shortly after closing the Shack for the day, there was a series of firm knocks on the kitchen door, and Dipper looked out the window to see a cop car parked nearby, with Sheriff Durland and his rookie waiting at the door.

After taking a breath and mentally rehearsing his rights, Dipper went to talk to them, with Bill right behind him. They stepped outside and closed the door behind them before addressing the cops.

"Afternoon, officers," Dipper said cheerfully. "Sheriff Durland, good to see you. And officer Holland, how are you liking the job so far?"

"Good, good... mind answering a few questions, sir?" Holland asked.

Dipper casually crossed his arms. "What am I being questioned about?"

"Well, we got a report from this couple a few nights ago about witnessing a murder, and though they were drunk at the time, they said they saw who did it, and the descriptions match you and Mr. Cipher pretty closely."

Dipper lifted an eyebrow. "Really? How drunk were they, exactly?"

Durland laughed and Holland gave him a sour look. The sheriff said, "Very, I really don't think you or Bill are responsible at all, those descriptions could match so many people in town. They aren't even really from this area, so when I showed them pictures of you two, they weren't even sure you were the same people. But we have to follow up on it anyway."

"I see. And all you have is the word of two drunk people that me and my boyfriend committed a murder?"

Durland nodded. "Pretty much."

"Do you think it's the same as the ones that have been going on?"

"Oh, absolutely."

Dipper laughed. "Well I certainly don't make enough money to be going around the world on a killing spree, don't you think?"

"Yeah, this place can't be bringing in that much money," Durland agreed.

Holland cleared his throat and said, "So what were you doing on the night of September 21?"

Dipper raised a hand. "Wait. Am I free to go?"

"What do you-"

"Are you detaining me?"

Holland shook his head. "No, but..."

"Then I'm not answering any questions."

Durland chuckled and said to his partner, "I told you he knows the rights."

"Am I free to go?" Dipper said.

"Sir, it would really help our investigation if you just talk to us about this."

"Am I free to go?" Dipper repeated more firmly.

After a pause, the younger officer sighed and nodded. "Yes, you're free to leave at any time."

"Great. Have a nice day." Dipper turned to go back inside. Bill lingered for a moment, looking at the cops, before grinning at them.

"Good luck with your investigation, officers."

"We'll get it figured out one day," Durland said. "Besides, Li'l Gideon is out of prison now and I hear he's working with one of them psychic detectives to find out who's been doing it! Shouldn't be long now, he's really talented!"

Dipper froze at the mention of Gideon, but Bill pushed him along into the house and went in with him, saying, "Have you forgotten that Gideon was a fraud?" before closing the door.

They waited until the cops left, and then Dipper sighed and rested his head in his hand. "That could have been bad."

"Ya know, you should have just talked to them. Get the suspicion off you."

Dipper shrugged. "I don't like talking to cops. If I'm being detained then I'm gonna tell them I want to remain silent and wait until I can talk to a lawyer. Otherwise, I'm telling them nothing that they could use against me later."

Bill laughed. "Well, you're definitely Stanford's nephew. Heh, they didn't have any actual evidence, just a witness account. It probably won't be enough."

"Hopefully not."

The police never returned though, and Dipper soon put it out of mind, focusing instead on refining his ability to use the killing spell Bill had taught him. He became quite confident with it, his body adjusting to the amount of energy it took to cast. Though Bill told him that no matter what, if he were to use it against a demon as powerful as Pavonis, it would probably knock him out. It required more strength depending on who it was used on, and there really was no way Dipper could condition himself for someone like Pavonis without putting himself into unnecessary risk by summoning similar demons. All he could do was practice against weaker targets and hope it would be enough.

The first weekend of October, the two decided to spend some time relaxing after all the hard work and research they have done, making s'mores in the fireplace and watching old animated movies together. Working and stressing weren't very healthy at all, and they knew this.

Though they ended up running out of marshmallows, which totally wasn't Bill's fault, the demon claimed through a mouthful of goo. Of course, Dipper proceeded to smack him with a pillow and tell him they needed to buy more.

"Well, we need to go grocery shopping anyway," Bill commented, swallowing the marshmallows and freeing himself from the blanket they were wrapped up in.

"I don't wanna go out there, it's cold," Dipper complained. There had been snow flurries earlier that day. He wasn't taking a step outside.

"Pfft, you clearly haven't experienced the unforgiving vacuum of space."

"Clearly."

Bill rolled his eyes. "I'll go get us some more snacks. You want anything in particular?"

Dipper started to get up. "Hey, I can come with you-"

"No, it's all right, lay down. You're starting to get sick anyway."

"I am not sick," Dipper argued, though he unconsciously rubbed at his nose anyway.

"You were sneezing all night. Now stay here, I'll be back soon. Want some Pitt Cola?"

Dipper slowly laid back down. "Sure. And more chocolate. We're getting low on that too."

"Sounds good. I'll see what else I can find." Bill used magic to fetch a jacket, which he pulled on as he headed out. Dipper watched him leave, then snuggled into the blankets and looked at the TV. After a few minutes, he used his connection to the demon to sheepishly ask him to buy some cold medicine too. With this weather, he was going to need it sooner or later.