Chapter Twenty-Three: I'm Not A Vampire

Well I'm not a vampire but I feel like one
Sometimes I sleep all day because I hate the sunlight
My hands are always shaking, body's always aching
And the dark is when I feed. I'm insane.
Well, I can feel it in my bones, coursing through my veins
When did I become so cold?
For goodness sake, where is my self-control?
If home is where my heart is then my heart has lost all hope
~Falling in Reverse

"Perfect. This way miss," he said, holding out his arm. She rolled her eyes at him but looped her arm with his. He led her into their massive parlor and sat her down on one of the velvet couches there. She smiled and pulled her legs under her, obsessively fixing her clothes. He had to admit, it was kind of cute.

Damon walked behind her to the shelf where his expensive boozes and bourbons were. "Want one?" he asked her, raising his eyebrow. She wrinkled her nose, trying to make a decision. "Might as well. Since you're here," Damon added.

Finally she just shrugged and said "Might as well." He handed her a glass filled with whiskey from one of his favorite bottles. She grabbed the glass from him, and took a tender sip, making a 'yum' after she swallowed hard. He laughed as he sat on the sofa next to her.

"It's a little strong," he chuckled.

"Yeah, a bit." Nilin said clearing her throat. Like a champ, though, she took another sip. "You don't know how much I needed this," she leaned back into the couch cushions. "Thanks, Damon."

"You're welcome. I mean you did grace me with your exceptional musical talent." Damon teased.

She eyed him. "About that," she remarked, taking another sip. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. I swear I'm not stalking you or anything. I got back yesterday and recalled a certain someone leaving me a note in my car."

"Ah, right," Damon said, placing his glass on the coffee table. "Your father, how is he?"

"Good," Nilin replied as she peered down at her whiskey. "Just some bumps and bruises."

Damon figured it was the perfect time to do a little prying. "How was your trip back home? Everything go okay?" he asked, laying his arms on the couch behind her. Those blues eyes of hers flashed with emotion, too fast for even Damon to recognize.

"Um, it went fine. Yeah, everything was good," she muttered quickly. Damon had to admit he found her very tempting in her cropped shirt and little white shorts. Her rosy cheeks that went with them weren't helping either, but there was something under the surface ready to crack. He really wished he could compel her to talk to him. You know, take the easy scummy way out, but that pesky vervain was around again.

Damon needed to know about this man. The one she's so terrified of, the one that left her broken. He could see she was holding back something every time she looked down at her drink. He didn't need his powers though, Damon knew if he tired hard enough he could get her to open up to him.

Damon took a gulp out of his glass, feeling the tingling burn of the whiskey numb his throat. She was still looking down at her glass, when he noticed her lip. It was protruding a little, and he could see the healing split in it. Suspicion welled up in him, it should take longer for that to heal. It was much better compared to the last time he saw her the other night.

Reaching his hand out, he took her chin in it. Her eyes shot up to his, but he just stroked his thumb over her lower lip. Damon fought back a smile when he heard her heart flutter at his touch. "What happened there, princess?" he asked her.

She swallowed hard, trying to find words. He ran his thumb over the split one more time.

"I got it when I went to visit my dad," she said, her voice wavering a little. He dropped his hand from her chin. He could see the sadness in her, as she tipped her glass back taking another, larger sip. An unfamiliar human urge made him want to make that sadness go away. He shook the feeling away.

"Another fist fight, eh? Keep this up and you'll either be a pro-boxer or in the county jail soon." Damon smirked, leaning closer to her. He saw her smile, biting her lip slightly.

"No," she said. "I didn't fight anyone." He noticed the tension in her hands, as if she wanted to tell him but was holding back.

"You can tell me, Nilin. You know that right?" he persuaded. "Who am I honestly going to tell?" he asked, gesturing to the empty house. "As you pointed out before, no one likes me."

She caught his eyes. "Not true, I like you," she said, relaxing back. "And I know, I want to tell you but-" she stopped and took a breath. "It's because I like you that I'm not going to tell you. I don't want to put you in danger."

He almost laughed, the thought of her worried about him seemed ridiculous. That's when he remembered she didn't know his secret. That he was the same thing that she feared, that, because of this, he already knew what she was afraid of.

"Just tell me," he said, cocking his head to the side. He watched as she bit her lower lip again, released it and then the pain come to her eyes as her shoulders dropped, losing the fight inside her.

"There's just this jackass in the town I lived in. He doesn't get the meaning of the word 'no', I guess you can say." Nilly said softly, staring at her hands.

"What a jackass." Damon agreed, trying to keep the mood light as he finished off his glass.

"Yeah," she shrugged, looking down at her empty glass. He snatched it from her and got up, refilling both of them. Handing the glass back to her, Damon asked, "He did this to you?" He kept with his fake ignorance.

She nodded as she took a drink. "Yeah. We dated, I tried to end it and he didn't like that idea."

"Oh, jackass is an ex," he said.

"He's also violently delusional." Nilly's normally sweet voice went cold. Then something dawned on him. He finally fit the missing pieces into its place.

"That's why you came back to MysticFalls," he said. Her eyes widened vaguely, confirming his suspicion. She was surprised he put it together so quickly.

"First chance I got," she explained. She finished the last of her drink. Damon took another gulp of his to realize it was empty as well. He got up, this time bringing the bottle with him. He filled her glass and then his. "Thanks," she smiled.

He wanted to ask her about something that had been bothering him for a while now, but he wasn't sure how. Screw it, he thought as he took another drink from his glass.

"About the other night, in your kitchen," he said, looking at her carefully. He saw her sigh deeply.

"Damon—"

"You were right." She looked up at him questionably. "I'm going to hurt you, Nilin. It's what I do, I hurt people. It's something that happens and eventually I'll hurt you. Like you said, you don't need that," he finished. Her eyes dropped away from his.

"What I said that night, I meant," she said slowly. "But it was a long drive to LeeCounty, and when I was down there and when he-" she stopped herself again, shaking her head. Then she looked up at him, her eyes so clear. "I kept thinking of you and at that moment I felt so far away from home," she confessed, her voice fading. "I know it's stupid, when you have Caroline wrapped around your finger and you're searching for this Katherine girl that you clearly have feelings for, but I felt it. And, well, it hurt," she finished.

The ache in his chest hummed, he felt as if something was pulling him. Shockingly, whether from Nilin or the whiskey, he had completely forgotten about his mission to rescue Katherine from the tomb. That's what Nilin did to him. She consumed all his senses and joined the alcohol as they intoxicated his brain and his thoughts.

He put his drink down, and cradled her face between his hands. He forced her to look at him, to see him and he heard the drumming of her heart as a result. "Do you see Caroline here?" he asked. "Katherine's not here either, I'm the only one looking for the other and I've hit a major dead end." Damon continued, as trapped in her gaze as she was his. "You're the only one here Nilin, no one else. And I'm perfectly happy with that."

Slowly, he watched as she leaned into him. In one movement he pressed his lips to hers, feeling that electrical sting on his mouth when she kissed him back. He kissed her softly, reading her reaction. The initial shock, then she melted into him, placing her hands on his and leaning closer.

The kiss went deeper as he realized how much his demon had been craving this, but the human part couldn't help but notice how right it felt. She pulled back, a little gasping for a breath. He did so too, forgetting she was only human. Nilin opened her eyes.

"I thought you said this wasn't going to happen again," he reminded her, smirking. He couldn't help but kiss her, she was so addictive. Nilin rolled her eyes.

"Shut up, Salvatore," she ordered as she kissed him again.

She could still feel the last kiss on her lips, it made her tipsier than she already was. The music pulsed loudly through the house, some pop song with a heavy bass. She spun and twirled to the beat, her hair whipping around her. She took another sip from her drink and then put it down as Damon came over and grabbed her hands, dancing with her.

She giggled as they danced around the room, shaking their hips, jumping up and down, being completely ridiculous. Yet Damon was able to make the outlandish moves look sexy as hell. Nilin probably looked the total opposite.

She didn't know how much she drank and she didn't really care. This was fun, Nilin Gilbert never had fun. He spun her around the coffee table, laughing with her. The alcohol made her feel light and numbed her brain nicely. She couldn't even remember why she had been so nervous about coming here and talking to Damon in the first place.

"Who taught you how to dance?" she asked over the music. He moved his hips near her and smiled.

"Many years of practice, my dear," he answered.

"Teach me," she said back. He smirked as he stood in front of her. The music changed to another pop song. This one was a slower one, she rocked her hips back and forth with the beat. She sang along to the song softly as Damon made his way to her.

"I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you

And I need you like a heart needs a beat

But that's nothing new

I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue"

Damon placed his hands on her hips, moving with her. She smiled up and put her arms around his neck. "Is it me or are you getting flashbacks too?" she asked.

"Our lovely adventure at a High School Dance," Damon laughed. "This one's much better though."

"Well I agree with you completely, no Caroline," she said. "But why do you think that?

He just smirked at her. "Because I can do this without getting punched in the face," he said, bending down slightly and kissing her. Her heart hammered in her chest. He smiled against her lips, then pulled away.

"And I can do this, without having to punch anyone in the face," she teased as she reached up on her tippy toes, pressing her lips back to his. She felt him laugh against her and suddenly she was twirling again. She must have sounded like a five year old, the way he made her giggle. Nilin didn't care though.

She sunk down on the sofa, head spinning, world spiraling. She reached for her glass and finished the contents of it. She was getting that warm feeling in her stomach and the fluffiness in her brain, but she was sure Damon was contributing to that as well. He came over and plopped down next to her.

"What? My dance moves too much for you?" he flirted, doing that eye thing that made the butterflies in her stomach burst open. She smirked at him.

"No, your whiskey is." Nilly explained, lifting her drained glass.

"Light weight," he joked. She sat up, offended. When it came to drinking, Gilberts were never light weights. He just laughed at her, then he stood up.

"None of that pouting. We're trying to have fun, remember?" Damon said, grabbing her hands and pulling her off the sofa.

"Fun?" she questioned. "What is that? I've never experienced that." Damon rolled his eyes at her as he spun her around again.

"Trust me," he said. "You're having it."

"Sad part is," she confessed. "This is the most fun I've had in a very long time."

"Well, I am honored you chose to spend the evening with me," he said, dancing with her again.

"Of course you are." Nilly joked. "I am Nilin Gilbert," she shrugged, acting all snotty like. He laughed at her as he slowed their dancing.

She leaned her head on him as he danced. She sighed lightly, inhaling Damon's cologne. Nilly looked up at him, the alcohol causing her strange inner thoughts to come out.

"I'm also like poison," she said.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked, looking down at her with an eyebrow arched.

"I don't know, Damon. I poison good things."

He laughed. "That's rich Nilin," he joked. She stopped dancing, pulling away from him.

"Seriously Damon, I'm a mess. A total human tragedy and- and, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore." Nilly said, falling back on the sofa. "I'm drunk," she mumbled.

"Very," Damon agreed, standing in front of her.

"Do you ever feel like you're falling apart sometimes, but the one thing that might be able to keep you together is right out of reach?"

"All the time," Damon half heartedly laughed. He reached down and pulled Nilin up, making her stand.

"People leave me, Damon." Nilin confessed. "They just give up on me or disappear."

"Well, I don't normally give up on something. Once I get a hold of it I don't let go until it bleeds." Damon said, stepping closer to her. She felt him link his hand with hers. She stared up into his midnight eyes, feeling like she was seeing a part of him no one else knew about.

"I don't bleed easily," she told him, cocking her head up.

"Good," he grinned. Then he leaned down as she reached up, their lips met and a shock rolled threw her body. It sparked her brain and made her hair stand up. He must have felt it too because the kiss wasn't soft anymore. His hands went up her body to her waist, holding her there. She kissed him stronger, her arms tightening around his neck.

Suddenly, Nilly felt the couch cushion underneath her. Damon's lips never left hers. She gasped faintly, as they went to her neck. He placed a kiss right on the bite Christian gave her. It made her wince, but at the same time, it sent chills down her body. His lips found hers again.

Nilly heard someone gasp loudly and Damon heard it too. They froze then suddenly Damon was off of her and she was scrambling to sit up. She saw a wide eyed, open mouthed Elena and Stefan in the doorway. Nilly sunk down on the sofa, cheeks burning.

"Shit," she mumbled. They were caught.

Damon was standing, hands held up. "Hold on," he was saying.

"What the hell," Stefan yelled. He and Damon were walking out of the room back into the hallway. Nilly put her head in her hands, not wanting to see Elena's face right now. Her brain was so fuzzy though, she felt like she needed fresh air. She should say something, it was wrong for Damon to bear this alone. She looked up, but the room was empty. No one in sight, she could hear their muffled voices echoing from the hallway.

Nilly got up off the sofa slowly, and made her way to the door. She was about to step into the hallway to explain herself when she heard her name. She froze. Nilin was unable to see them but she could hear them.

"Do you know what even happened to her?" Elena was asking, her voice strained but hushed. "She was attacked by a vampire, Damon," she continued. Nilly's eyes widen. Why was she telling him this? Elena knew Nilly wanted to keep that as much as a secret as she could, yet she tells Damon?

Stefan was talking now, his voice angry.

"Nilin doesn't need this right now. She didn't run from one vampire to be deceived and alone with another," he was saying. Nilly heard the words but none of it made sense. She wasn't alone with a vampire, she was with… Damon… Nilly's heart dropped. She balled her hands at her side.

"Oh, and what about you, brother?" Damon was asking. "What do you think she's going to do when she finds out you're one as well?"

"She's not going to find out he's a vampire," Elena snapped. She heard Damon laugh, but Elena kept talking. "What do you think will happen if she finds out you're one too, Damon?" Simultaneously, Damon's laughter stopped and Nilly choked out a sob. Three pairs of eyes went to her. Nilly was standing in the hallway now, not sure of when she had taken the final step out of the living room. Her hand went to her lips then her head, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Vam-vampires?" she stuttered, narrowing her wet eyes. She looked at Damon, ignoring the other two. "You're, you're a-" she tried to get the words out, but couldn't. The way he looked at her, she saw sadness, shock, and something else she could make out. She couldn't hold his eyes. "I'm going to be sick," she said, turning away from them.

"Nilin," Elena spoke, softly.

Nilly whipped around to glare at her cousin. "How could you do this to me!?" she yelled. "Why didn't you tell me!?"

"Nilly-" Elena tried to speak, tears coming to her eyes.

"No! Don't 'Nilly' me, you don't get to say anything to me!" Nilly gasped for a breath, her hands shaking. "How could you keep something like this from me!? When I told you everything, you said no more secrets, Elena!"

Stefan stepped forward, hands raised as if Nilly was a rabid animal. She wasn't the animal, they were. His lips were parted to say something, but Nilly couldn't help but picture his face looking like Christian's before he'd bite her.

"Don't come near me," she warned, backing up.

"Nilly, I'm not going to hurt you." Stefan said. She almost lost it there.

"Bull crap, you're all the same. You said I could trust you Stefan! I thought I could trust you!" she sobbed.

"You can, just let's sit down and talk." Nilly shook her head, wiping her eyes. The hallway had shrunken, her breaths were getting caught in her throat.

"No, no. I-I need to leave. I need to get out of here and leave," she mumbled. She started back towards the door.

"Wait," Damon called. She stopped and looked at him. The betrayal and pain clear on her face and in her chest.

"Up till now, you were the only one that didn't keep things from me. But now I see it was all true, everything anyone has ever said about you was true. Congratulations Damon, you had me fooled. I was dumb enough to think you actually gave a crap about me." On the last word Nilly turned on her heels and ran for the door. She heard them calling after her, but she didn't stop until she reached her Jeep.

Nilly sped out of the Salvatore's driveway.

Author's Notes:

Well, it looks like everything's out on the table now... and its a mess. I want to hear all your thoughts, every opinion, all of it. Lay it on me. Remember to Favorite, Follow & Review.
I'll see you Friday lovlies,

RLS

Featured Songs:

Apologize by One Republic