Author's Note:
Am on vacation so I should be able to update more regularly than I have been. Thank you so much guys for being patient.
Thomas stared out the window in wander. There were lights everywhere and people were still out walking around. "It's beautiful," he whispered to himself.
John gazed at his husband with a gentle smile, reaching a hand over to rest on the man's thigh. He was so wonderfully talented and could do so many things. How had he gotten lucky enough to find such a wonderful man to spend the rest of his life with. "You're fantastic," he murmured softly. And the man really was. The smile on his face only grew as he heard the soft statement from their son in the back seat.
Sherlock smirked. "Of course I am. I am perfect and amazing, so naturally I am fantastic as well." The smirk only got bigger after he spoke. The traffic wasn't terrible, but still worse than London.
Thomas kept his gaze out the window the entire time, the city lights passing by him as they drove. The bag was in the back seat and he grabbed his camera. He had seen pictures of blurry lights in photograph and he hoped to get one of those as he snapped a few pictures.
And there went the snaps of the camera. Their little boy was definitely going to be quite the creative one when he grew up. John smiled as he glanced in the back seat before looking back over at his husband. "I know," he whispered as he leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Sherlock's cheek. "And that is one of the many reasons I love you."
Sherlock glanced into the rear mirror to watch Thomas a moment. Their son certainly like art lately. He smirked at John, even though he couldn't look at his husband while he drove. "You married me for my insufferable ego? That's okay, I married you because you are just so adorable."
Thomas glanced down at the counter on his camera, he still had a few pictures left to take. He put it back where he found it and continued his silent gaze out the window.
John chuckled and shook his head, relaxing back against his chair as the city passed them by. The silence felt comfortable in the car but he fancied a quick talk with their son. "Thomas," he looked back at the boy and smiled warmly. "Would you want an easel? Something to paint and draw on?" It would definitely encourage more of his artistic side.
Sherlock kept quiet so John could talk to Thomas. He continued to drive the city of New York like he had lived there his whole life. It was easy for him to do since he had the entire map of the city in his head and went through possible routes before he actually began driving.
Thomas glanced over to his Dad and then shook his head. "No thank you. I don't really like to paint or anything. Just doodle and color." He shrugged a bit and looked back out the window.
Well apparently Thomas wasn't in a very talkative mood. A lot of it probably had to do with the fact that he wasn't Sherlock. "You can doodle and color if I got you an easel, mate," he suggested softly. Sometimes he felt like he hardly mattered to their son and he hated the feeling. If he were has fantastic as his husband then Thomas would answer any sort of question he asked with enthusiasm.
Sherlock frowned a bit. He didn't have to be looking at John to know what his husband was thinking and feeling. One hand dropped from the steering wheel and reached over to John, coming to rest on his husband's knee and giving it a small squeeze of reassurance.
Thomas looked back over to his Dad, with a matching frown of Sherlock's without realizing it and for different reasons. He was confused why his Dad had made the suggestion again when he already said 'no' the first time. "No thank you," he repeated. He looked out the window again, enjoying the view and not wanting to miss any of it.
Right then. John just looked out his window, jaw tense as he tried to keep himself calm. Thomas had no idea what he was doing, really, and it was childish for him to get upset about it anyway. All he wanted was for both of his children to love him with with their son it looked like it would never happen. Thomas had always favored Sherlock and it would always be that way. "Are we close?" All he wanted was to get out of the car.
Sherlock nodded. "Yes, Love. Soon." It wasn't much longer John had asked the question, that he pulled their rental into the parking garage the hotel offered. He gave his husband a quick kiss on the cheek before getting out of the car. He helped Thomas out and grabbed the bag.
Thomas frowned. Had he said something wrong? Was Dad mad at him? He sighed as he got out of the car with his Daddy's help.
John was silent as he gently picked up Amy, managing to keep her asleep as he did so. With one look over at Thomas and Sherlock and flashed a tight smile and then started to make his way inside. The lobby was still beautiful, people milling about and smiling as they entered. All he wanted to do was go upstairs and figure out why he was such a horrible father. Before long they were all in lift and he was swaying back and forth to keep their daughter asleep, eyes locked forward as he tried to keep himself as calm as possible.
Sherlock wanted to say something but he was worried doing so would upset John or Thomas, or possibly both. The silent tension in the lift was a bit stifling and getting out was a slight relief. He opened the door to their room and put the bag down quietly as he let go of Thomas' hand.
Thomas wasn't sure what he had done, but he was certain it was really quiet because of him. Had he made Dad angry because he didn't want an easel? His lower lip quivered and he sniffled. He wiped his arm under his nose and went to go find his journal. Maybe writing would make him feel better.
Bloody wonderful. Now Thomas was crying. Of course John would be an idiot and make their son cry. It took him a moment but he managed to undress Amy. Only when he set her down in bed did she start to wake up, looking up at him sleepily. "Shhh, Amy, go back to bed," he whispered as he ran a hand through her hair. Before long she was back asleep and he was desperately searching for his son to fix everything. Once he found Thomas he moved forward, looking at the boy nervous. "Thomas," he whispered before clearing his throat. "You've not done anything wrong, all right?" Except he couldn't really explain PTSD to their little boy. "I just wanted to give you something I thought you might enjoy and I was wrong."
Sherlock decided to keep quiet, so John could talk to Thomas. He went into the bathroom, used the loo and then decided to take a shower. He liked his water hot, so he waited until the temperature was to his liking before he climbed under the spraying droplets.
Thomas frowned. "But Dad, I already got you and Daddy. You are the best parents ever. You took me in when nobody else wanted me. I don't need anything else." He dropped his pen and wrapped his arms around John's waist in a tight hug.
Oh. John's heart felt like it had stopped because the love in the statement was not something he ever expected from Thomas. He held the boy tight, looking down at him with a gentle smile. That...was absolutely adorable. God, now he felt like a complete idiot. "I love you," he whispered as he squatted down to hold their son in a tighter hug. "I love you so much, Thomas."
"I love you too Dad." Thomas held onto John because his Dad seemed like he really needed the hug right now. His Dad had seemed kind of sad all day, but he wasn't really sure why and he hadn't mentioned it because Daddy seemed to be trying to make things better and he didn't want to mess anything up.
After several moments John pulled away to run a hand gently through Thomas' hair, grinning at their son happily. "You have made me very happy, Thomas, and thank you for that." After a quick kiss to the boy's forehead he stood up and took a deep breath. "I'm going to go shower with Daddy but when we get out I want you in your pajamas, all right? It's getting late." With that he moved into the bathroom, taking all of his clothes off and climbing into the warm spray. "I'm a fucking wanker," he murmured with a soft chuckle.
Sherlock had heard the door open and close and he could tell by the silhouette it was John. He smirked a bit at his husband, one eye brow cocked. "Why is that?" He moved back a bit from the spray, so it could fall over John. He was pretty much done. He didn't typically take long showers when he was alone.
"Thomas didn't want an easel because he's got me and you," John whispered with a small grin. "And I thought it was becomes he just disliked me, didn't want to be near me or any of that." After a simple shrug he cleared his throat and moved a bit under the warm water as it started to relax his muscles. "He loves you far more than he loves me."
"John he doesn't hate you." Sherlock sighed, they had this conversation a lot more often then he would like. There wasn't much he could argue though, because he supposed it was true. Thomas had been attached to him the moment he had saved the boy. It had taken Thomas awhile to warm up to John on the island. "I don't think he necessarily loves me more, just...differently..."
John looked up at his husband, raising an eyebrow with a soft snort. "More. More respect. He wants to be like you because who wants to be an old, run-down slider who's killed people? He wants to be you." His thoughts had been so negative from the start of the day and they were only getting worse with this form of thinking. It was nearly impossible for him to get his thoughts on track.
Sherlock sighed because he knew it wouldn't be easy to make John feel better. He had to try though. It was his husbandly duty. John could always make him feel better when he was feeling like shit, but he never felt like he could ever return the favor for his husband. "Need I point out, that he goes to you talk about pretty much everything. He only wants to be like me because since the moment he has met he idolized me and yes, he still does."
Right. John looked up at his husband and smiled just a bit, bottom lip tugged in between his teeth. "Yeah...he does, doesn't he?" That made him grin just a bit more and all he could do was chuckle. Leave it to Sherlock to pick up the pieces and make him feel far better. The man was fantastic like that. "And...that's good. That's really good." After a moment he moved forward and embraced his husband in a tight hug.
Had he finally said something right this time? Sherlock still felt lost sometimes when dealing with situations like these. He was a lot better at them than before but sometimes he felt rather useless. He smiled and returned the hug, happy he was able to finally do something right for John.
"Thank you," John murmured against his husband's chest, grinning like an absolute idiot. Everything was working to help keep him as happy as possible and he loved that his husband was more than willing to do it. After a long moment he pulled away and turned the water off, reaching out to get them each a towel. "We've still got a child who is awake," he said with a soft chuckle.
"Of course Love, that is what I am here for." Sherlock smirked at John. "I do believe Thomas went to bed when you came in here. He was already tired by the time we left the restaurant and he is usually responsible about those kinds of things."
"Maybe," John murmured as he dried his hair before wrapping the towel around his hips. "But I want to make sure." After placing a quick kiss on Sherlock's cheek he opened the door and left the bathroom. As he wandered into the bedroom area of their hotel he got extremely quiet while looking for Thomas.
Sherlock smirked a bit and got out of the shower after John. He dried off and opted for only wearing pajama bottoms. He trailed after his his husband and his smirk only got bigger as he saw Thomas already tucked in next to Amy and sleeping. "Told you so." He glanced to John, the smirk not leaving his face.
"Oi, hush up," John murmured as he playfully narrowed his eyes. Before long he was slipping on a new pair of boxers as well as his pajama bottoms, grinning at his husband as he moved to gently sit on their bed. "They are very good with each other, we're extremely lucky," he said with a nod as he gazed at Amy and Thomas. How did we get so lucky?
Sherlock sat next to John, an arm wrapping around his husband in small sideways hug. "I don't know. I guess we have done something right." He worried someday it would change but he always kept thoughts like that to himself. John worried enough as it was, he didn't need to add to it.
"I have no idea what it was," John murmured as he turned and pressed his face against his husband's neck. It made him feel absolutely comfortable and calm to have Sherlock right there. "We just...raised them and they turned out so damn well." Every time he looked at them he couldn't help but feel a swell of pride.
"Me either," Sherlock admitted quietly. He had worried about being a father, because he and Mycroft had been right terrors growing up. Usually to each other. "I'm glad they are nothing like me when I was their age. I did all sorts of horrible things."
"Thomas wants to be just like you," John murmured with a small grin. "And he's rather on his way, I would think." Some of the man's facial features related easily back to their son. Frowns, looks...absolutely everything. "Which isn't a bad thing, need I remind you, since you are so perfect and amazing."
Sherlock smirked at John. "Am pretty amazing and perfect, aren't I? It's hard at times, but somehow I muster through." His smirk twitched into a small frown of thought. "I just hope he doesn't do some of the stuff I did growing up." He had made a lot of mistakes when growing up.
John pulled his face away from Sherlock's neck with a gentle smile. "Everybody makes mistakes, Sherlock. Some might not be the same but they both will." Hopefully his husband would understand that. Every mistake had ended up bringing them together, didn't it? It would end up being the same for Amy and Thomas, he had no doubt.
"Yeah, I guess so. I just don't want them to do the things I did." It was why Sherlock had tried to raise the children completely different than his own childhood. It hadn't all been bad but bad enough he had gotten addicted to drugs. "Sometimes I still want them," he murmured. He realized there wasn't any real context to the sentence so he decided to elaborate. "I don't want something to control their lives, like drugs do mine John."
Oh. After a long silence John placed a soft kiss against his husband's lips, smiling softly as he tried to keep the man as positive as possible. "I love you," he whispered as a hand ran through the man's hair. "And I know that you are doing such a fantastic job at fighting that habit and the pull that the drugs have on you. I know that you will continue to do that, too." Now it was his turn to care for his husband and there was nothing wrong with that.
Sherlock managed a small smile. He leaned into John a bit, his head coming to rest on his husband's shoulder. "I know you do. I love you too." His hand found John's free one and he laced their fingers together with a small squeeze."I just worry too much is all. Can't help it. Comes with being a being a genius and knowing everything."
"And that's why I'm here," John replied, his mouth pressed against the man's temple. "To help you stay out of your thoughts, yeah? That's what husbands do." He would be more than willing to do that for his husband for the rest of his life and knew that it would be needed every one and a while. "I will always do my best to help you."
"I know. You do a rather wonderful job of taking care of me." Sherlock squeezed John's hand again. His eyes closed, as he was enjoying how close he was with his husband right now. "I like this." They didn't have to be doing anything for him to enjoy time spent with his husband.
Spending time alone with Sherlock was definitely not something John got to do often. It hardly mattered that they were in a hotel in a different country, they were still very close. "Me too," he whispered with a smile. "I am glad we have a chance to do this." All he could do was scoot himself closer to Sherlock, inhaling deeply as their bare chests pressed together.
Sherlock smiled as he felt John move closer. "How come we didn't really do this at the start? All we seemed to care about was getting each other off. Not that I am complaining, mind you. We had some very fun shags." He smirked at the thought. "Don't get me wrong, I still want to shag you all the time but I am finding I enjoy these moments with you more."
John couldn't help but chuckle as he held tight on to his husband. "Because we constantly knew that we were in trouble," he whispered, clearly staying as honest as possible. "I mean, we never knew when the next one would be shot so we went right to shagging each other's brains out." But holding Sherlock like this was always very nice and he loved every second of it.
Sherlock frowned a bit but nodded. "Yeah, I guess so." That and John had gone away to war and he figured that had a lot to do with it. Probably best not to mention that though, it would probably just upset his husband. He stayed leaned into John a slow smirk crossing his lips as he purposefully tapped his foot against his husband's.
A soft chuckle left John's lips as he playfully tapped his foot back. "Moving to play footsie in bed now, too?" It was bloody adorable and he hardly minded, it was more adorable than anything. "You picked up on the game pretty quickly while we were out eating, I must say."
Sherlock smirked some more. "Didn't hear you complaining." He lifted his head and tilted his head up to give John a quick kiss on the lips. "I'm a quick a learner. Remember how quickly I picked up on kissing?" The smirk got bigger as he gave his husband another kiss, this one a little slower.
Snuggling, a little conversation, and now kissing. John returned it without hesitancy, nipping at his husband's bottom lip before playfully sucking at the man's tongue. When he needed to breathe he gently pulled back and smiled warmly at his husband. "You're fantastic," he whispered as he lifted a hand up to run through the man's hair. "And rather good at kissing." After a smirk he started another kiss.
Sherlock smiled. "You are adorable and I have a rather good teacher." He shifted a bit and wrapped his arms around John. He leaned in for another kiss. "I love you," he murmured into the kiss. This had turned out to be a rather fantastic holiday and it wasn't just because they were snogging right now. Everything had been amazing since they got here.
They were making out like teenagers on a bed in a hotel. There wasn't too much better than that and he eagerly took it in, his hands moving to gently rest on his husband's hips. The kissing was as silent as he could manage so Thomas wouldn't wake up and find them. Their little boy would make a scene, he knew. Amy wasn't too much of a worry for him.
With control and effort, Sherlock managed not straddle John or moan into the kiss. Just some snogging. They couldn't do much else with the children in the bed next to them. He broke the kiss momentarily before starting another one. He did lift a hand to run through his husband's hair.
Snogging to the extreme, apparently. John couldn't help the soft whimper that escaped his mouth, battling for dominance in the kiss by running his tongue over the roof of Sherlock's mouth before sucking on the man's bottom lip. Sometimes he like to remind his husband that he was the older one in the relationship and that sometimes he was more in charge. Clearly this was one of those times.
Sherlock smirked because he knew what John was doing. He let his husband take over without a fight. He really didn't mind when John had control and actually rather liked it. Also, he wasn't sure he would be able to have any self control if he tried to make a game out of it.
Having the control for a bit was utterly intoxicating and for a selfish moment John wished they were alone but he knew that it would be nearly impossible. Even the shower wasn't an option for them at the moment because Thomas would hear him. After a small whimper he pulled away and took several deep breaths, holding his husband's gaze before letting a soft smirk tug at his lips. "Naughty," he whispered with a wink.
Sherlock smirked, trying to catch his breath. "You like it." The smirk only got bigger. God, he couldn't wait until they had a room alone together. Just a few more days and they would be able to shag again. He was going to have to go back to the bathroom once John had fallen asleep.
"Absolutely love it," John replied breathlessly. The moment they had their own room he knew that they were going to make love and take full advantage of being alone. Hopefully they would last longer than they had the last few times. Getting older was certainly an excuse but he missed their long, slow shags. "You're getting hard," he murmured with a flash of guilt in his eyes.
"It's fine Love." Sherlock gave a slight smirk. "I can take care of it later." He hadn't meant to get an erection, it'd just happened. "Sorry," he muttered. Hopefully John wouldn't feel bad about it. Shit, he had ruined things hadn't he? Stupid hard on.
John shook his head with a soft smile. "You're fine," he whispered softly, licking his lips as he curled his body against Sherlock's side. "I love you," he murmured softly as he let out a yawn. "'M going to try and sleep some. Don't wank it off," he murmured softly before his body start to go limp. Before long his heavy breathing filled the room.
Sherlock smirked slightly. "I love you too." He watched John sleep for a bit before slipping out of the bed to head to the bathroom. He got himself off quickly and quietly. He climbed back into the bed with his husband. He wasn't going to sleep tonight but he wanted to be curled up next to John.