A new chapter's here! I'm not going to elaborate, let me just say I don't own anything, the wonderful author Richelle Mead does, and that I'm sorry for all mistakes i made while writing. If you have a moment, review, even if it's bad. Hope you enjoy!
It turned out I didn't hide the journal a second too soon, because before my breathing steadied, the office door opened, revealing a furious headmistress Ellen Kirova.
"Miss Dragomir! Who do you think you are to treat a teacher with such disrespect and use offensive magic in class!?"
Unlike Ms. Malloy, Kirova wasn't a person of calm rage. Her face was turning purple and if the looks behind the frames of her glasses could kill, I would've been dead. And unlile Ms. Malloy, I was afraid of Kirova, because I knew several people that had experienced her rage on their own skin, and it was never pleasant. I swallowed and put on a face as innocent and meak as I could.
"I- I know how ridiculous this sounds, but I have a perfectly good explanation if you are willing to listen to it."
"I'm all ears," Kirova snapped and walked over the office to sit into her chair on the other side of the wooden desk. The wood was coppery brown and polished; just the kind you'd expect in a vampire's office. Its combination with the moonlight coming from the tall window in the back seemed to only bring out the anger in the headmistress's eyes. I crouched the smallest I could make myself in the chair and hoped her fairness would save me when she hears the story.
"Well?"
"Uh... I only called out the water because there was a fire on Ms. Malloy's desk. I don't know how that happened, but I'm sure of it. My reaction was just a reflex. I probably wasn't the only one to see it, and if you can't get a witness, I- I'm quite sure there must be consequences of the fire on the desk," I said. "I mean, Ms. Malloy is a fire user, maybe, as mad as she got, she was the one to set the fire..."
I bit my lip and stopped talking. I expected to get a lesson about accusing teachers of doing illegal things, but Kirova only dug her face into one of her palms. All of her anger suddenly vanished. She looked tired, I realized.
"I'm sorry," I said gingerly.
"You should be in most other cases," Kirova sighed. "But you should know that Ms. Malloy often lets her political beliefs lead her before reason."
"What do you mean?" I asked confused. "To me, she always seemed perfectly normal and reasonable to everyone." I paused, then corrected myself: "Well, anyone but me."
"Yes, I thought so," said Kirova. "You see, the case was similar two years ago, when Vasilisa - your sister - was a senior. Except that it didn't go so far. But I did have a chat with your teacher, which calmed her down."
Her words reminded me of the conversation Eddie and I had had after the first incident with Ms. Malloy. "Does she have a dislike for Dragomirs or something like that? She was never like that towards me before."
Kirova laughed, although she clearly didn't think it was very funny. "'Something like that' is a better expression. Her beliefs are... Very old-school. I know about the things going on at Court, how your sister is putting her best efforts to make offensive magic legal, about giving non-royals more rights, dhampirs being our equals, all things in that area. Ms. Malloy is against all of those things. She knew your sister was striving for all of that, even before her possition in the society flew up to the hights, and she was being unfair towards her because of it. Now, when all she's against is coming true, she's venting her anger on you."
"Oh." I didn't have a better reaction.
"But," the headmistress continued meaningfully. "She still must've been very upset to set a fire in her own classroom. I heard you were sleeping in her class?"
"I, ah, I wasn't really asleep," I uttered. The head of the school knew about my bond with Adrian, but it had always been an uncomfortable subject for me to talk about, because barely anyone ever believed me.
"Then what could you possibly doing that looked like sleep but wasn't sleep? Were you meditating?"
"I was in Adrian's head," I admitted with a sigh. Kirova's jaw fell in surprise. Clearly she hadn't expected that answer, and she eiter thought that she misunderstood me or that I've lost it. Or maybe she didn't believe me at all.
"Explain," she blurted after an agonizing moment of silence.
"You know I'm bound to Adrian, right?" I already knew the answer, but I still wanted to make sure. She replied with a short astonished nod.
"Alright. I don't know if you know, but when Rose and Lissa were here, Rose slipped to her head quite a few times. After a while, you gain control of the bond for most times, but sometimes, when his feelings are too strong, I lose the control and just see the world through his eyes and there's nothing I can do about it. I seem absent, or maybe asleep, as the last time when it happened. I tried really hard to focus..." That wasn't entirely true, becuse I let my mund wander before and was then quite interested in the events at the Court, "But I was helpless."
"I understand," Kirova said firmly. "But in the future, I need you to remember that Mr. Ivashkov's problems aren't any more important than yours, and that yours will be bigger if we ever catch you with similar behaviour in class again. Do we understand each other?"
I gave a sharp nod, quietly wondering if she was threateining to expell me.
"I will talk to Ms. Malloy and tell her to be more proffesional, and I hope the two of you won't cause any more trouble to each other." Her tone let me know that she didn't consider me completely innocent. "You may go. And it might be better if you spend the rest of today's classes in your room. This event will probably raise a lot of rumors, and you already have enough of those to worry about."
I nodded. "Thank you." At least I got away without a punsihment. I got up with incredible self control I didn't know I had, closed the door in a reserved way Eddie would be proud of, and sprinted down the spiral stairs as fast as I could. The morning off was the best opportunity I'd have to read that journal. I was so wildly curious I didn't even around to hide from the teachers that liked to cause boarders trouble. Luckily for me, the second period began ten minutes before Kirova let me go, so everyone was in their classrooms already.
I closed the door of my room behind me and collapsed on the bed, catching my breath. As soon as I calmed down a little, I picked up my phone and called Eddie. He answered on the first ring, as I expected. The tone he greeted me in was significantly worried.
"Jill? Aren't you in class? Is everything okay?" he asked promptly.
"Yes, I'm fine," I said, throwing my head back at the pillow.
"Then why-"
"I'm out of class for the day. Can you come over and I'll explain?"
"Sure, I'll be there in ten minutes," he said, sounding calmer than before. "You're really okay?"
"Come and see," I teased. He chuckled and hung up.
I called him over because I didn't want to skip a single opportunity to be with him, because I wanted to talk to him about what had just happened and because I had a feeling I'd want to discuss the whole journal thing. But I didn't have the patience to wait for him, so I opened the journal on the first page, took a deep breath and dived in.
It started aproximately ten years ago with the words This is a journal to the future generations, to let them know how the revolutions in their society were planned and performed. - Victor Dashkov
I turned the page because the rest of it was blank. The beginning told that Victor had become the Dashkov prince ten years ago and began to activly plan his revolution then. He also recieved the Dashkov ring, which shouldn't have surprised me. I'd always had the feeling those rings weren't for bad people, but of course no one was aware of Victor's plans at the time. The important thing was that he had known more about the rings' origins than any other temporary owner - at least as far as I knew.
The Dashkov ring is going to be a great help in my plan. Becoming a prince is opening a thousand options for me. It raised my political influence and my reputation between people. I will gain enough powers to become the king of Moroi until the next elections, especially with the ring. Its powers are exceptional; it possesses the most powerful compultion I've crossed roads with in my life. Even Robert says he's never seen anything like that and couldn't replicate it.
Robert Doru had been his step-brother and one of the most powerful spirit users of all times - had been. He had been the first to restore Strigoi, and had also exceled in compultion the last rime I saw him. He'd used it on me when him and Victor took me as a bait. The thought of him made me shiver. But I was quite sure Robert had lost his mind without Victor's guidance - and Victor was dead. I'd seen him die. I had nothing to be afraid of. With a deep breath, I continued to read.
My historic sources say a lot about the rings. They say St. Vladimir was the creator of them. I'm not sure if that's only a legend, but I have made sure of their strenght. Whoever wears the ring has the people he speaks to at his knees. That's why only monarchs were supposed to wear them, and I'm only supposed to be its keeper. But I can clearly use the ring, besides I do rule my people. They will obey every order of mine and find me the most charismatic person they have ever met. I will be a god to them. They will do anythimg for me. Of course, the bigger the crowd, the weaker the effect of the ring will be. But my crowd is not that big just yet, and by the time it will be, the closer circle of my subjects will be loyal enough for me to make others obey. If they won't, I still have Robert as a secret weapon.
Then he wrote under a different date, about some of the plans that didn't mean much to me. I tried to read them at first, but they didn't catch my attention as much as the talk about the ring. All those plans were about his infamous revolution, which probably didn't matter that much anymore since he was dead. I made a mental note to take the journal to the Court the next time, so that my better-informed friends could tell us if this could still cause any trouble. Until then, I continued to browse. A mention of Lissa's name caught my attention a few pages ahead.
The number of my subjects keeps increasing as days pass by, which is a good thing, but I soon won't be able to control them anymore. I will need another royal ring. I suppose the easiest one to gain would be the Dragomir ring. But still not that easy. Eric might be my friend, but he won't willingly give me something so precious. It would be too suspicious to compell him. I'm also afraid Vasilisa would notice. She doesn't know it yet, but she will once be a powerful spirit user. And I will need her to heal me soon. My disease is progressing quickly, even with Robert's occasional healing. He soon won't be able to use much spirit anymore. Losing Aiden took a huge toll on him and he seems to be losing his mind more and more. I need Vasilisa. Only her. I need to get rid of the other Dragomirs and get the ring. She will be the last descendant and very protected, but as a trusted family friend I will get the ring from Eric, and Vasilisa will see me as her only relative and friend. She will trust me, which will push her into my tight grip. Then she can help me. That Hathaway brat could be a pain, but I'll get rid of her if she gets too annoying. Otherwise, I'll make sure she knows nothing or forgets what she saw by coincidence.
"What the hell?" I exclaimed and threw the journal down. It hit the floor with a loud pang. Only its covers were thick, it was actually shorter than it seemed. By skipping those few pages I actually skipped four years. And now I was at the part where Victor had been planning the car accident that had killed Lissa's - my - family. Only to get control over innocent people and to get Lissa's spirit powers on his command. How could someone be so cruel?
A loud knock on the door interrupted my rage. When I heard Eddie's voice, I realized it probably hadn't been the first one.
"Jill? Jill, are you in there?"
With a little guilt over worrying him again, I jumped off the bed and rushed towards the door, opening it up wildly. Eddie pulled me into his embrace.
"Where have you been? What the hell was that noise?" he demanded with his arms still around my waist. His grip was tight and panicked, but not uncomfortable.
"Calm down," I whispered, pressing a finger on his lips. "Everything's fine." Considering how mad I had been only a minute ago, it was a surprise I was able to calm someone else down. I pulled him inside. He closed the door by leaning on them from behind. As soon as the click provided us a little privacy, his lips were on mine, hungry and sweet. This wasn't the way I imagined my morning, but it was a thousand times better than a Slavic Art class.
I felt a madness I didn't recognise in Eddie, he'd never been that fierce with me - at least not since we were officially together. He seemed... Relieved. I really must've scared him.
As it often seemed to happen, Eddie ended up laying over me in my bed. He leaned on his hands in order to let me breathe and smiled. We both started to laugh for no reason. Maybe because his laughter was contagious. He pulled me up and helped me sit on the bed next to him. I climbed into his lap and kissed him again, slowly and gently this time. We didn't start to make out madly again, I just couldn't keep my hand off of him.
"What was that noise earlier?" he asked, his voice heated up. We were both breathing heavily, sweating and still laughing. His question pulled me out of the sweet intoxication he'd caused me. I remembered the journal.
"It was that book over there being thrown at the floor," I said, pointing into its direction. Eddie leaned down to pick it up, impossibly keeping me in his lap and holding his balance. I watched him in awe, wondering how a person can be so graceful. And how such a person would want his arms around me of all people.
"Thrown at the floor? What did the poor thing do to you?" he asked, shaking his head at me. He turned the journal over in his arms curiously, stroking the cushioned covers. "What is this anyway? It looks like a... planner? A weird notbook maybe?"
"It's Victor Dashkov's journal," I said and looked away. I still hadn't processed what I'd found out earlier. I mean... I didn't get past it, but he signaled hid plans quite clearly. But still, would he really...?
"Jill?"
I blinked as I realized Eddie's waving his hand in front of my eyes.
"What?"
"Where did you get Victor Dashkov's journal? Do you know how dangerous that man was?" he demanded. He was really on the edge today, and I kept making he go out of his mind.
"No kidding, it's not like he kidnapped me and kept me awake with compultion," I muttered.
He winced. "Right." We exchanged the glances, but the air wasn't as sweet and easy as before. His brown eyes were tensed and worried. "So what happened?"
I gave him an outline of the morning events. He listened carefully, saying an incredulous word or two every few minutes. He never moved his gaze from me, nor I wanted him to.
"What's the point of me being here if I can't protect you from things like that?" he asked in exasperation when I finished the story.
"This," I replied and pressed another kiss on his lips. He returned it stronger than I'd expected, then let me go too soon and threw his head back.
"I swear, I would've given up on myself already if it wasn't for you," he sighed to the ceiling. He purpusly kept his gaze away from mine, but I still thought the despair shining in his eyes had never been so clear.
"Don't. Ever," I said, practically begging him. He avoided my look. My guess that something was wrong turned out to be correct. "Remember what I told you. You deserve to trust yourself, you're amazing and I love you." I caught the hold of his hand, but he barely responded. I wasn't used to him this vunerable. It was horrible - but on the other hand it meant he trusted me enough to reveal who he truly was, not only play the stoic guardian act.
"I'm no use here," he stated.
"That's not true," I decleared. "You just can't follow my every step here, no student gets that kind of treatment. And it's not like I was in any real danger. If there was - if, but there won't be - a Strigoi attack or something similarly disasterous, you'd still get to kick their butts."
He chuckled and returned my squeeze of his hand. "I don't know, I guess I was just used to always keeping an eye over you and being next to you even before the potential danger could appear. Here... I barely get to see you."
"Well, you can't exactly control my every move, you know," I teased.
"I don't mean to do that. I just want to follow you around in the creepy-stalkerish way and crumble everyone who tries to hurt you into dust," he said innocently. I laughed. He looked better, calmer, but my gut was telling me something was wrong.
"I-" I started, but he cut me off without realizing it.
"So what's in the journal?"
"Nothing good," I sighed my mind wandering back to what I'd found out before he came. "I found out what the Dragomir ring really is. Also... Is it possible that Victor caused the car accident Lissa's family died in?"
Eddie's eyes widened. He had still been holding the journal. Now he opened it somewhere in the middle and began to browse through it. I took it from him and opened at the pages I'd read before. He stared into the paper for a few minutes and shook his head in disbelief.
"Yes, it's definetly true. I don't think you got to this part." He started to read aloud: "No one assumed the driver was bribed and on a suicidal mission. As I hoped, only Vasilisa got out of the accident without a scratch. Impossibly, Hathaway survived as well. Impossible for the uninformed, at least. She should have died. This could only mean one; Vasilisa's powers have awoken. Soon she will be able to help my disease. First we have to bond a little. I have to gain her trust." Eddie cleared his throat, trying to look cold, but I knew he was as horrified as me.
"Son of a bitch!" I cried. "How could he?"
"I... I have no words for that man," Eddie said. "Him dead... It might be for the better."
I sighed. "Is that it?"
"No, I think you might be interested in this," he said and continued reading: "Meanwhile, I can practise ruling with two royal rings. Andre had the Dragomir one in his pocket at the time of the accident. I was a bit surprised, I thought Eric was its keeper. At least this way it was easier to sneak away. I think the Dragomir ring is more powerful than the Dashkov one."
"No wonder if slimy idiots like Victor get them," I growled.
Eddie gave a small laugh. "Then he only writes on about how everyone obeys him and how him and Lissa are super close and how she's becoming friends with Natalie too-"
"Who's Natalie?" I interrupted curiously.
"Oh. Right. You probably never knew her," he realized. I nodded expectantly.
"She was Victor's daughter. Then he convinced her into turning Strigoi - which I get way better how he did now when I know about the rings -, she kicked Rose's butt and then Dimitri killed her. Natalie, I mean. Rose is still alive, as you know."
"He convinced his own daughter into turning Strigoi?" I asked, my voice so small I barely recognised it. "What kind of a monster does that?" I whispered. I almost slid off the bed in horror. Eddie caught my hand and pulled me back into the safety of his lap.
"I know," he said. "But that was after Robert restored his first Strigoi. It doesn't undo Victor's actions, but he wanted to change her back later."
"Well, he sure nailed that one," I remarked, surprised to find my voice shaking a little. "Gosh."
"If it helps, here's something that slams him," Eddie told me, his eyes on one of the pages. "Those two brats escaped!"
"Go Lissa and Rose!" I cheered. We hit a high five and both laughed.
Eddie then continued to read: "Vasilisa already considered me her only family and I succeeded in a few attempts of forcing her into using spirit without her noticing. She was already weak, therefore more likely to give in and help me volunteerly, and now they both vanished into thin air."
"Oh, poor Victor," I scoffed.
"There's not much more in the journal," Eddie said, looking through is swiftly. "Nothing but more plans. It ends just before he wanted to finally kidnap Lissa and they caught him."
"Well, I guess planning a revolution in prison isn't very easy," I stated.
"Oh, I think he was still planning it," Eddie said darkly. "He just had nothing to write his plans down. I was at his trial and he didn't seem like a person who would back down."
Silence filled the room. It was impossible for it to get uncomfortable, since I was already cosily placed in Eddie's lap. I dug my face in the crook of his neck, letting the familiar scent of his and the smooth feeling od his soft skin alome calm me down. One of his arms was wrapped around my shoulders, his hand slowly stroking my upper arm. My breathing steadied. Somewhere in the back of my head thoughts about Victor and his evilness were still racing, but I didn't let them control me.
"Did you know it's lunch time?" Eddie said casually.
"Already?" I asked incredulously. "Are you hungry?"
He gave me a guilty look and shrugged. "When am I not, really?"
I laughed. "Come on, let's go," I said and pulled his arm.
"It's okay, we don't have to, I'm used to it-"
"I said let's go and that's an order," I said decisivly. "The fact that you're used to being hungry alone is wrong, and as lomg as you're my guardian, you don't have to suffer that."
"You don't even know how attractive it is when you talk like this," he murmured. My heart fluttered as we kissed. He was everywhere around me and it felt so... Good.
"We should really go," I said.
"Maybe if we go now, we'll get there in two hours," he said with a smirk.
Rushing him to lunch had no use though, because he insisted on giving me half of his. Lunch break was almost over by the time we noticed we should go there. The cold metal chairs of the cafeteria were almost empty and we didn't attract much attention. As always, we didn't have trouble talking, but in the corner of my mind thoughts of Dashkov's journal were still rushing.
"Do you think we should tell Lissa about this?" I asked out of nowhere. Eddie's looked turned blank for a second, but he soon realized what I'm talking about.
"The not-so-accident and that Victor had the ring?" he asked. "I honestly see no need. Knowing her family was murdered would be quite a hit, I'd rather let her think it was an accident. And Victor is just as dead as Andre and Eric, so it wouldn't help anyone if they knew he was the one who had it."
"You're right," I sighed. "I just wish there was something I could do about it. You know? There's no way of finding out what Victor did to the ring, right?"
He knew what answer I was hoping for and his expression told me he was sorry to let me down before he spoke. "From what Rose told me, they got rid of his dead body. There's no reason to think he didn't have the ring with him, especially if you remember how precious if was to him."
"Don't you think they seized his property in prison?"
Eddie sighed. "Very likely, but no one's breaking into Tarasov again." He put a heavy emphasis on no one and his stern look demanded me to not even think about it.
I didn't even think there was a way of breaking into the most protected Moroi prison. But...
"Again?" I asked.
"Long story," he said. Even though he dismissed it so quickly, his lip corners were twitching. I tried to get to the bottom of the story, but he wouldn't tell me anything.
By the time we headed back to my dorm room class was almost over. We walked in silence and I noticed he was distanced. I remembered how tensed he'd been in the room earlier. My intuition that something's wrong hasn't faded.
"What's wrong?" I asked as I closed the door. He narrowed his eyes in wonder while taking his coat off. "Nothing," he said.
"Oh, come on. As if I don't know you," I said and crossed my arms over my chest. "Something's bothering you."
"I just wanted to talk to you about something," he admitted and sat on the bed. He made it sound like a question.
"Okay," I said and sat next to him. "What is it?"
He looked down at his knees in hesitation. He looked so nervous I wasn't even sure I want to know anymore. "I-"
The door bursted open and revealed Aimee's head, half covered in a thick scarf. "There you are!" she exclaimed. "Or, both of you. I could've known. Am I interrupting something?"
Eddie and I both opened our mouths, but before we could say anything, another head appeared, followed by a matching body.
"What happened to you? Where were you all day?" Angeline exclaimed. Her auburn curls flew behind her as she rushed into the room. She was wearing Rose's old coat that reached over her knees unzipped, as if she came here in a hurry.
"I was called into headmistress's office after causing a flood in my history class," I explained.
"Oh, so you were telling the truth," Angeline said, turning towards Aimee. "I thought I lost you before even becoming your guardian," she said back to me.
"Wow, both of my guardians protecting me from mad teachers," I remarked.
"Yeah, what happened with that?" asked Aimee. I explained the whole story again, only leaving the journal part out. Then they told me what I'd missed and the whole afternoon went by. In the evening I realized Eddie never talked to me about whatever he wanted to talk about. It was after curfew and I was in bed, but I still texted him.
We'll talk when there's an opportunity, he replied.
That was kind of clear. When? I wrote back.
Don't know. Can you sneak on Friday?
I smiled to myself. A few weeks after arriving to campus we decided we spend absolutely too little time together, so I snuck into his room every few weeks and spent the night. Of course, we literally only slept. We were both clear with that, especially after the little fallout we had in the first week of our stay. The perk of the whole thing was being able to spend time with each other. Now it had been almost a month since I last snuck off and I really wouldn't mind a little 'sleepover' this weekend.
I'll try, I wrote. Hope Aimee can cover for us.
That was what she always did. All of us understood how forbidden what we were doing actually is. We probably broke at least a dozen rules, but I knew Eddie only agreed because there was no way of endangering anyone, and I had to see him, so we kept doing it. Aimee gladly helped us by making up a story if any teacher came to check if students are in after curfew. She always made up a story about how I'm in the bathroom or at the feeder they kept in the dorm over night just in case. Then, after she went to bed, she folded the covers on my bed so that it looked like I'm in. Eddie and I then appeared next morning, somwhere in the middle of breakfast, possibly a few minutes apart and on different entrances. It was risky, but worth it, and no one was on to us yet.
I spent the rest of the night either fantasising about the weekend, or dreaming about it when I finally fell asleep. It was no wonder I brought the topic up to Aimee the instant we were both awake.
"Sure, no problem," she replied and smiled. Her eyes were still a bit bleary but the smile reached them. I noticed from the way she crossed her legs over and over that there was something on her mind as well.
"What's up?" I asked kindly.
"Uh..." she wavered. "I kind of..." She exhaled and gave a sharp nod, as if she was encouraging herself, or maybe giving a sign she's ready. I knew her hesitation wasn't a sign of distrust, she was only shy to ask something of me. That was the way she was.
"Could you cover for me on Saturday in a similar way?" she finally uttered. "Reed said if we could..." She blushed in a way that reminded me of myself, words stuck in her throat. Their relationship had grown quite serious and extremly adorable in the past months. She had never asked me a favor like that before. I wondered if they were takimg things to a new level... But then again, I didn't want to know.
"Sure, no problem," I said and grinned. She gave me a reassured smile. "Did you think two years ago," I added, "That we'd be talking about sneaking off to our boyfriends today?"
She laughed aloud. "No, I did not. I was getting over Brett and you had a mad crush Adrian. I never thought either of us could be happy with her love life again."
"Well, thank goodness things turned out the way they did," I said. "Breakfast?"
I spent the next days in agonizing wait for Friday. Weekends were everyone's favorite part of the week, but I was even more impatient as usually. I saw Eddie every day - but we had company. He never even brought up whatever he wanted to talk about and I didn't push him, although I was becoming curious. Not only with Eddie.
I couldn't proccess that after every overwhelming piece of information I got from Victor Dashkov's journal, there wasn't a single clue about the Dragomir ring's current information. I just refused to believe it, and I kept reading the pages I'd come to know them backwards. I didn't lose hope that maybe I skipped a paragraph, or that I didn't read something between the lines. There had to be at least a single trace, right? He wouldn't just throw something so valuable away... Of course, under the eyes of Tarasov's security, he didn't have much choice.
My impatience was at its highest on Friday after school. I felt as though I was waiting for a delayed plane to vacation on an airport. I couldn't leave my dorm too early because it be suspicious if a teacher happened to see me at Eddie's and later noticed I'm not in bed after curfew. I wasn't worried about my punishment, I'd probably get away easily like every other student that had ever tried to sneak into a different dorm after curfew. No, my concern was Eddie. He could even get fired if anyone found me in his room. That would disable him from being my guardian permanently (or maybe anyone's guardian). It would kill both me and him. So I had to wait before seeing him for a while.
Naturally, I spent the extra time reading the journal again. Aimee tried to engage me into a conversation a few times, but she gave up soon because I only responded with a word or two and left to find Reed. I knew she wasn't insulted. She noticed how the journal sucked me in, even though she didn't know what it really was. I never got into details. I didn't want to overwhelm her. The whole thing got me obsessed, more than I imagined I could be. I wanted to find the ring, I didn't even know why myself.
I read the short contents of the journal once, twice, three times, whispering the words quietly as I passed them. I already had them memorized. But I was still focused while reading and I was still hoping that I'd find a lead. I reached the last page again, I'd lost count on how many times I'd done it. Blank paper was glaring at me, so white it hurt my eyes. The only thing breaking the whiteness were the bold blue lines the page was shot with. It felt as though it made the paper even more stern and judging. Like it was blaming me for not finding anything.
I snorted at my own thoughts. Paper doesn't blame people. But I soon realized I could've done more. I'd never gone through the blank pages. I assumed they were just... Blank. But what if they weren't? I instantly began to browse again, so swiftly the harsh rims stung on the tips of my fingers, but I ignored it.
I almost put the journal down when the page next to the last was empty. Then I noticed a faded stain on the bottom of it. I ran a finger through it and learned the spot was slightly convex, as though the paper had once gotten wet. The stain probably faded from a blue color to gray. I flipped the page over and saw the original stain on the other side. It looked like a drop of ink that accidentally dripped from a pen, but that wasn't the part that caught my attention.
Just above the stain were a few words written in the narrow lanky writing I'd gotten so familiar with: Robert Doru, next to it what I assumed was his phone number, and under the name an address in Las Vegas. But that couldn't be his address... Could it?
Another thought crept into my mind: was it possible that Robert had the ring? It was true I'd seen with my own eyes he'd gone quite crazy due to spirit, but from what I'd read, he had been one of Victor's closest comrades. There was also no doubt he wouldn't think about calling attention to the ring in any way, and that he was loyal to death - literally - to Victor without any influence of compulsion.
Could it be that Victor kept the ring in prison, knew what was coming after he escaped and passed the ring to Robert? If he did, I had the key on my hand.
My heart skipped a beat, then began to race. My impatience reached the point where I could no longer handle it. I grabbed my coat and put it on, slid my feet into warm brown boots, stashed the journal under my shirt and ran outside, almost forgetting to close the door.
The chilly winter air made me shiver, but it calmed me down at least a little bit. I ran over the snow that creaked under my feet through the school grounds that felt endless. Finally the familiar outline of the guardians' building came into my sight. Just a few more steps... Warmth hit me as I crossed the doorstep. Unnoticed, I sneaked through the lobby and over two sets of stairs. I knew the way so well I didn't even think about it. Not bothering to knock, I almost broke the door of Eddie's room. He wasn't locked in, as usually. He liked to always be available to everyone.
"Goodness, Jill, what happened?" he exclaimed as I walked in. He jumped from the bed he'd been sitting on, worry all over his face. There was no asking why I'm so early or anything alike, he knew better than that. I don't know if it was my expression that gave me up, or maybe the door that still hadn't recovered from my brutal attack. He read me, as always.
"Look at this," I said and reached under my shirt. Eddie's eyes widened and I rolled my eyes, pulling the journal out. He gave me a knowing look - he knew how much I'd been obsessing over it in the past days. I still didn't take my coat off as I opened the notebook on the last page and showed Eddie my discovery.
"That's Robert Doru's phone number and address," he said.
"Is it?" I asked. "In Vegas?"
"A bit out of it, actually," he replied. I gave him a perplexed look. Itseemed weird that he was so sure. He must've realized that, because he scowled and spoke swiftly: "So why does that matter?"
"Well..." I said and smiled. "Since Victor was with Robert at the time of his death and a while before it too, do you think it's possible..." I trailed off and gave Eddie a hopeful look, not daring to express what I wished so wildly to be true.
"Yes," he said promptly.
"Could we..." I gave him a pleading look that I knew he couldn't resist.
"No. Absolutely not," he said firmly, and just as instantly. He knew very well what I was talking about, and there wasn't a glimpse of consideration in his voice.
"Why not?" I asked stubbornly and crossed my arms over my chest. He knew I wouldn't accept his answer. Who would? He just confirmed I could get what I along with the rest of my almkst instinct family had been stuck on for the past few months, a piece of my past, and now he wouldn't let me get it.
"Because!" he exclaimed and threw his hands up. "You can't travel from one of the safest places on Earth to the middle of nowhere to some crazy maniac who once tried to kill you! Maybe you could if he was the only crazy maniac that ever tried to kill you, but we both know that's not the case!"
"So that's what we're talking about again? My safety?" I asked venomly.
He gave me a look that asked if I'm kidding. "Well, what else would you like to talk about? It's not like it's my job to keep you safe or anything!"
"Well, then keep me safe and and come with me," I sighed.
"Sorry, but I can't yet control the minds of crazy people, and even if I go with you, it's just too damn dangerous," he snapped. Even though these situations - me seeking danger, him forbidding - were often, it wasn't like him to get upset like this. Too bad, it only heated me up even more.
"Why to you get so damn upset about things like this?" I hissed. "How does this, every simple attempt of mine to help someone and be useful, piss you off so badly, but whenever I say something that would drive every normal person out of their minds, you just smile like an idiot and leave lile nothing happened?"
His eyes widened at that, but he didn't react. I just called him an idiot and unnormal, but he didn't react.
"See? This is a perfect example!" I screamed.
"Because as your guardian, I find your safety more important than my feelings," he said calmly and restraindly.
"That's the lamest answer ever." I said and shifted from one foot to another in a provoking way. "Sure, that's what you are to me. Just a goddamn guardian!"
He winced. I hurt him, I saw it. I thought he'd strike back, but he was still looking me in that calm reserved way of his that always appeared whenever we were discussing his emotions.
"Well, how's this for an answer?" he asked. I fixed my gaze on him expectantly. "I care about your safety first because as your boyfriend, I can survive a few words, but I could never survive losing you." His eyes made the distance of few feet between us vanish. They were so warm, deep and full of love. I knew he meant the words he just said and they made my heart melt. I almost ran over the room to hug him and drown him in kisses.
But I knew he also meant the words he 'd said before, and I didn't want to let him get away with it. I didn't want to give up and yield down. The thought of the Dragomir ring and the fact that I could get it swelled me with a weird urge that was more important than a few sweet words right now.
"That's sweet," I said as numbly as I could. It wasn't easy. "But that doesn't help me much right now."
"Oh, for goodness's sake!" he exclaimed in exasperation. "I'll get you your goddamn Dragomir ring if it means so much to you, just stay here and stay safe!"
"You just don't get it," I said. His eyes widened. "No one does."
My eyes suddenly burned with tears. I couldn't last a second in that room anymore. Eddie's words hurt me for no real reason and I didn't want to look at him. I dropped the journal onto the floor, snuck through the door and slammed it in a fit.
"Jill-" I heard Eddie say, but the door cut him off. It probably hit him straight in the face, but I couldn't look back to see if he was alright. I didn't even know where this came from. I just ran down the stairs, back into the freezing winter afternoon.
I know I didn't get to name chapters yet as I said I would in the last AN, but that's because of my disability to write short. Yesterday I realized the chapter I'm working on is going to be too long – again-, so I put it in half. This is the first half and the next is coming in a few days. It might be a little short, but this is the only part where I could break a chapter, I didn't think anywhere else made sense. The problem with chapter names is that I had a name for two chapters together. I'm going to use it for the part above, but the part that is yet to post is unnamed for now. As soon as I figure that out, I'm gonna change the names. So, in a few days new chapter, plus chapter names.
*Update: I was really upset when I realized yesterday that nothing I put as italic in my phone stays italic by the time it reaches my computer. With this chapter - the journal parts and all - there was a bit more, so I decided to fix it. Now I need to remember this and take care of it before I post the chapter!