Chapter Thirty-Eight: I Waited For You

Drenched in words, you tell me I'm empty because you know it hurts
Your eyes are spilling out what's real. Have I not held back the fight?
My body racing out tonight. I waited for you, I waited so long
Take it slow, you tell me sweetie. Rest here with me, don't move
I'll fight back and you won't expect it. Now I have to leave you
I've always waited for you, but don't expect to see me now
Your little plan fell through, tell me what's wrong with you
~Valora

His eyes burned with anger, his entire being was a blaze. Damon's thoughts rocked back and forth, causing him to see red. He had been searching for her for almost a hundred and forty-five years. He had been so close, he was confident she was in there. But she wasn't. How could Katherine not be there? No of this made sense. He wasn't thinking clearly as he sat in the dark, waiting.

He needed answers and he knew who had them. His hands were balled into permanent fist and his breaths came out as a hiss. His hearing picked up on the lock clicking, sliding as the door opened. He could see her before she saw him. She was too busy, too focused on getting her barley moving mother through the door.

The lights snapped on and Anna let out a gasp as she finally saw Damon, sitting on the chair. "You knew Katherine wasn't in there," he said.

He saw her grasp her mother closer.

"You wouldn't have helped me," she said cautiously.

Damon sneered. Then in one movement he was across the room, slamming Pearl into the wall and wrapping his hand around her neck.

"No Damon! No!" Anna yelled, trying to claw him off her mother. Damon held her back easily with his other hand.

"Why do you get a happy ending?" He spat, venom in is voice as his grip tightened on Pearl.

"Damon, please!" Anna cried. "You wouldn't have helped me, you know you wouldn't have!" She repeated as if that was the only logic her panicked brain could come up with.

"Why do you get it and I don't?" He asked again, because that was the only thing he could think of.

"The guard," Pearl gasped suddenly in a weak airy voice. Damon looked at her. "The one at the church, the one who locked us in. She promised to turn him. He was obsessed with her," she explained. "She had him under her spell, like everybody else. He let her go." Damon stared at her for a moment, the words trying to sink into his searing brain.

He let go of Pearl, backing up as she slid down the wall. Anna caught her, supporting her weight again. She looked up at Damon.

"Last I saw her was Chicago, 1983." Anna said. "She knew where you were, Damon. She didn't care. Sorry."

Damon back up slowly as Anna hugged her mother. He went out of the motel room, in a numbed blank state. He needed a distraction something before he snapped the switch off. The demon in him was itching for it, just one seconded and he'd be devoid of emotion. He wanted to, desperately but something was stopping him as he fled back into the darkness of night.

Nilin had made it home. Elena had taken Bonnie home, so Stefan drove Nilly back. She smiled and softly thanked him before she opened the car door. The porch light was on which meant Jeremy was home. Nilly went up the stairs to check on him. Stefan had informed her of what her little cousin was up to at the party and how he ultimately ended up unconscious in the clearing.

She grabbed a few pills and a glass of water as she went to Jeremy's room. "How's your head?" she asked, coming into his room. He was sitting on his bed and snapped up when he saw Nilly, a confused look on his face. "Elena told me," she explained.

"Uh- it's alright. I just wish I knew how I passed out," he said taking the ibuprofens from Nilly's hand. "I didn't drink that much I swear."

Nilly smiled and sat next to him on the bed. "And you don't remember anything?" she asked.

He shook his head slightly. "The whole things pretty cloudy. I just… I know how this looks. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Jeremy," Nilly said putting her hand on this shoulder. "Don't be sorry. You didn't do anything, okay?"

He looked up at her, through his too-long hair. "Yeah, okay." Nilly smiled and got off the bed.

"Jenna's still out, Elena went to Bonnie's for a little, and I'll be in my room if you need anything," she said, heading for the door. Just then her phone rang. She slipped it out of her pocket and held it to her ear.

"Hello?" she asked as she headed for her room.

"Hey, It's Elena."

"Hey, how is she?" Nilly asked, stepping into the room.

"Exhausted, it took a lot out of her but she should be fine." Elena said. "I'm going to stay her for a little, just to make sure she's okay. I'll be home late, okay?"

"Alright, be safe." Nilly said into the phone as she closed the door behind her.

"I will, love you."

"Love you, too." Nilly replied, ending the call and turning to her dark room. She stopped, feeling that something was off. Her one window was open, the curtains billowing slightly in the night breeze. Her room was dark, the only light coming from the sliver of moon in the sky. Nilly's hand went along the wall searching for the light switch.

The room was illuminated as Nilly's hand found it. She did a 360 around her room, it was empty, the only sound coming from her over hyper lungs. She shook her head, tossing her phone on the bed. Nilin's imagination was getting the best of her, but with recent events could you blame her?

She went to her dresser pulling out her usual pajamas, leggings, a T-shirt and her comfiest oversized cardigan which she might have stolen from Mildred. Heading to the bathroom to change, she closed the door behind her for her own reassurance. Her clothes were swapped out for her PJs, her hair was pulled out of the pony tail to release the curls. They bounced on her shoulders and down her back as she washed her face, the cold water waking her up slightly.

Flicking off the bathroom light, she opened the door and almost had a heart attack. Nilly jumped at the sight of Damon sitting on the foot of her bed. Her hand went over her heart as she gasped for air. "You scared me," she said breathlessly.

He had his eyes forwards, staring into space. "Sorry," he mumbled, bending forward and grabbing a bottle off the floor. Damon put it to his lips, taking a quick sip.

"Are you drunk?" she asked, cautiously keeping her distance. "And you're upset…" Nilin groaned.

He laughed, shaking his head. "No, I'm not upset. Upset is an emotion specific for those who care," he answered.

She sighed, taking a seat next to him. "Ah, that's right. Just keep building that façade of yours up. Big, bad, heartless vampire who doesn't care if the world burned," Nilly shrugged sarcastically.

"It's worked this fair, hasn't it?" he asked, a humorless smirk on his lips.

"Has it, Damon?" she questioned quietly. He didn't answer her of course. Instead he took a longer sip from his bottle. The smell of whiskey hit Nilin's nose, making it wrinkle. "You smell like a bar on St. Patrick's Day," she told him.

"One hundred and forty-five years, Nilin, and she's been free all this time," he said out of the blue, ignoring her comment. She noticed his grip tighten on the bottle in his hand. Nilly turn to him questionably and slid off the bed to look at him, his eyes still off in the distance.

"Damon, listen. I don't think you should be—"

"She wasn't there!" He suddenly roared, eyes snapping to hers. Nilly jumped a little, taking a precautionary stepped back. A startled look came over her face before she could compose herself. Damon sulked back down, eyes sliding on the floor.

"Damon, you're scaring me," Nilly said softly, pulling her cardigan around her tighter. He just laughed.

"I'm a vampire, Nilin. Remember? That's what I'm supposed to do." Damon eyed her before his head tipped back as he took another swig of whiskey.

"You're hurt and angry right now. And we both remember what happened the last time you felt like that." Nilin said. She truly was becoming a bit frightened by him. Damon was unpredictable and she was in his line of fire.

"I won't hurt you again," he mumbled. Suddenly he took her hand and tugged, pulling Nilin towards him. Her legs pressed up against his knees as he looked down at her hand in his grasp. Nilin was tense as the silence stretched on.

Damon's fingers brushed against the palm of her hand. He pushed up the sleeve of her cardigan as his fingers continued to trail up her wrist to where the bite mark Anna had given her was. It had stopped bleeding and was just raw looking now. Nilly had barely noticed the bite till his figures gently swept over it.

"Damon," she said, her voice just above whisper. "Talk to me."
He didn't say anything, his gaze was fixed on the bite as his thumb brushed it again. Nilin attempted to pull her arm out of his grasp but she couldn't. His grip on her tightened. "Damon," she warned, pulling at her arm again. He was slowly bringing her wrist closer and closer to him. "Damon, stop," she said again, swallowing hard. Nilin froze as his lips touched her skin. She locked up, eyes on him, waiting for his next move. She was expecting fangs and blood, but not the soft tender kiss that he left on the wound. Gasping at the feeling, electricity and chills shot through her body all at once.

Finally he let her arm go, and Nilin slowly retraced it, holding it against her chest. "I think you should go," she said in a hoarest whisper. Her heart was hammering in her chest and her body was running hot and cold at the same time.

"Abandoning a man in his time of need?" he asked. The softness in his features disappeared again behind the cold mask. "That's not the Nilin way," he plainly smirked.

"What do you want from me Damon? What could I possibly give you that I haven't already?" she asked him, getting angry. She knew she should feel bad for the pitiful creature in front of her, but his arrogance was infuriating.

"Don't start," he sneered, taking other drink.

"Don't start?" Nilin questioned. "Oh, now I'm supposed forget everything in the past and show you sympathy because you're heart broken? Well, doesn't that make sense!"

"I don't deserve you showing me any kind of emotion that resembles compassion, Nilin!" he snapped, his eyes pinning her in her place.

She swallowed hard, biting this inside of her cheek. Taking in a few even deep breaths, Nilin calmed herself down. "I understand what you must be feeling right now," she said softly.

He laughed as the bottle appeared again and he tipped his head back. "Really? I doubt that. Have you been chasing your vampire ex-lover for the past hundred years, just to be another guy played and deceived by her?" he scoffed, taking another gulp.

"No, not exactly." Nilly said, "But, anger, sadness, and betrayal are all things that I am very familiar with." She reached for the bottle. "First off, this," she slipped it out of his hand, "isn't going to help anything." He glared at her, but his hand dropped to his lap.

"You want to turn it off, don't you?" Nilin asked quietly. She had known about the "switch" that vampire refer to for a while now. Mildred had explained it to her and now Nilin understood what it really meant. Damon just stared at her, he didn't say a word. "So, did you come here for me to talk you out of it, or for you to say goodbye?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I was going to do it, but for some reason I just couldn't. I traced that reason back to you." Damon told her. They were silent for a moment.

"You can't turn it off," she said finally in a hushed whisper. He didn't respond at first, Nilly almost thought he wasn't paying attention at all but then he spoke.

"And why's that?" he asked, trying to reach for the bottle. Nilly moved her hand behind her back, out of his reach.

"Because what would be the point of that? Sure you'd live in some careless bliss and not give a damn about anything anymore, but only for that inevitable point in time to come and the switch flips itself back on," she answered coldly. "And where would that leave you then, Damon?"

Suddenly Damon stood up right in front of her, giving her no room to breathe. His face was close to hers and she could smell the alcohol on his breath. "But then I could take what I want when I want it, I could be just like Katherine. I can be manipulative, and selfish. I wouldn't give a shit about anyone, just like her." And there it was, the stem of this entire problem had poke her ugly head back in. Katherine.

Nilin's heart was pounding in her chest as he backed her towards the wall. Her one hand was between them, clutching her cardigan and trying to put some distance between them. The other was behind her back, still wrapped around the whiskey bottle. She knew what she was facing and that she should handle the situation with care, but for some idiotic, brave reason she did the opposite. She looked up at him boldly, and asked, "What's stopping you now?"

He was quiet for a moment. "You," he nearly growled. He stepped towards her again, until he had her pressed up against the wall, his arms pinned on either side of her head. "You, you weak, dumb, stubborn, infuriating human being."

"Gee Damon, you really know how to woo a girl." Nilin said, shrink back against the wall. She didn't like feeling trapped, especially with him. He intense gaze never broke, it made her squirm between his arms. "Damon, you need to leave now."
"Oh, come on," he said. His breath tickled her cheek.
"Before one of us does something we regret," she told him, her voice wavering as she looked up at him.

"Why?" he smirked, then his lips came crashing into hers. She was shocked at first, her body stiffened up at his rough onslaught. She began to lose herself though and she started to kiss back. The liquor bottle dropped from her hand, sliding to the floor with a thud. His hands slid down the wall to grip her hips and pull her fervently to him. She gasped against his lips because of the force, but soon her arms were linked around his neck.

Her mind was blurring, her body was reacting to his touch but then her thoughts sobered a little as she pulled away from the kiss. His lips traveled to her jaw line tracing it, then to her neck as she forced her eyes open.

"Damon, no- stop," she said, breathlessly. She put her hand on his chest, trying to push him back but he continued to tease the side of her neck. "Damon, stop," she said more urgently. He hesitated for a moment and looked at her.

"Why?" he said again. This time she saw him lean towards her. Biting her lip, she turned her head away.

"No, not like this. Not when you're drunk," she told him.

"You didn't have a problem kissing me drunk before," he grinned, his grasp tightening around her. Nilin looked him straight in the eye.
"Not when you're thinking of Katherine." Nilly said, both hands on his chest now. He froze, his dark eyes capturing her. He stepped back, allowing Nilly to finally breathe. "I can't do this, Damon. I want you to let me in Damon, I really do. But I don't want to be her replacement, anymore," she said, advancing towards him now.

"You're right, you're nothing like her though. You stopped being her replacement a long time ago," he informed Nilly.

"When?" she asked softly.

He just smiled slightly at her, and gently placed a kiss on her forehead. He stepped back for a moment, still silent. Nilly felt him run his hand through her hair, wrapping the ends around his finger. He watched her for a moment and then he leaned in slowly, giving her a chance to flee. But she stayed absolutely still as his lips touched hers once more, sending shivers throughout her body. He untwirled her hair from his finger and headed towards her open window.

"Damon," she called after him. He stopped and looked at her, one boot on the window sill. "Don't let her be the death of you, she's not worth it," Nilin said, strongly. He gave her a nod and then vanished from her room.

Author's Notes:

I'm back! Did ya miss me? :) I hope you all had a wonderful week and a great Labor Day weekend. Its been a long week but I'm back and ready to start updating again. Every Mondays and Tuesdays now. Here's a little Damon and Nilin one on one. Tell me what you think! Leave your comments good or bad and I will see you Friday!
Thank you so much!

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