A/N: Decided to do lycanthropy after all, I don't have any other ideas. Written in notes.
S: Hey, Remmy, can I ask you a question?
R: Ok, what?
S: Are you a werewolf?
R: I-
J: Just answer it. Please, for me.
R: I am, but-
P: Darn, we were wrong.
S: I was so sure that Remus was- Never mind.
J: THANK YOU, REMUS!
R: Wait, what? Why?
J: See, these idiots (Sirius and Peter, not me, Remmy!) thought that-
S: Protego.
R: Alright, Sirius, what did you think?
S: So suspicious, Remus. Jeez.
P: *Uses Sirius as a shield*
S: Hey!
R: What did you both think?
P: Take anger management classes, alright?
R: James. Tell. Me. Now.
S: JAMESIE, NOOO!
P: WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS!
R: JAMES! TELL ME!
J: I'M SORRY, BUT REMUS IS SCARY WHEN HE'S ANGRY!
S: NOO!
P: NOO!
R: YES!
J: Remus, I'm innocent, alright?
R: James, if you don't tell me now, I don't care if you're innocent, you're going to suffer too.
J: They thought you were a girl and you were pretending to be a boy. Again, thank you Remus, I thought I was going to go crazy from their far-fetched ideas. They should never have ideas together again. The result is terrifying.
R: Sirius. Peter. Why would I pretend to be a boy?! And yes, I soo agree, James.
P: James! How could you?
S: You made an Unbreakable Vow?
R: Why would I do that?!
P: You.. Er... Uh... Had alcohol?
R: Why would I drink alcohol?
S: We don't know how your mind works, alright?
R: Sirius. Repeat after me.
S: Repeat after me.
R:... I. Am. Under. Age.
S:... I. Am. Under. Age.
R: I. Am. Twelve. Years. Old.
S: I. Am. Twelve. Years. Old.
McGonagall: PASSING NOTES IN TRANSFIGURATION! DETENTI- Oh! Well, please go on, but I will not be so lenient next time!
S: PASSING NOTES IN- Oh wh- Oh! Yeah, we were having a.. Best Friend Heart-To-Heart conversation.
J: Mm hmm. Yeah, right.
P: We were! Right, Sirius?
S: Yup!
R:...
J: Why are we passing notes in the Hospital Wing again?
S: Remind me to never make Remus angry again. Oww...
P: Agreed... Ouch, my bottom..
J: I feel for you, Pete. Remus always goes for the bottom. Lucky me, Remus didn't hex me this time!
P: You should know, Remus always gets angry at you. You got out of this by being a coward. And I thought you were a Gryffindor.
J: Shut up, Pete, shut up.
S: Ha ha ha.. Ow.
J: Wow, did you know that Remus just took the lead for most detentions? He got a month of detentions. A detention every day! Thirty detentions! Wow...
S: He deserves worse.. Ow..
P: Agreed.
J: Remus is my hero.. Wonder if we could get him to hex the Slytherins?
S: Ooh! Ooh! I volunteer Bellatrix, my evil cousin!
P: What about Snape?
J: Ok, so, to get Remus angry at them, we should-