Before lifting the memory spell

"You will go to him and help him lift the memory spell," the conduit to the Senior Partners told Lilah. "He needs help in this time of need, and you're the only one who can assist him. You are our tool into getting what we want."

"So what, I help him and then get dragged back to Hell?" Lilah asked snidely without caring.

"No," the conduit that was conveniently formed as Angel shook his head. Lilah was in the White Room, although she wasn't sure how she got there. The last thing she remembered was being in Hell, but she didn't mind being away from there for a while. "You will stay with him in incorporeal form until our goal is succeeded. You have a contract with us, and we will still use you for this type of deal. Once your job is done, you will be sent back to Hell."

Lilah sighed melodramatically. It wasn't really necessary, seeing as she was dead and didn't breathe anymore. "What exactly is my job?"

"There may have been a few unexpected turns over the last few days and weeks and longer, but we still have a plan for Angel. That plan must still be set in motion. You do not need to know what your goal with Angel is; you just need to know you being around will push him further to what we want."

"Sure, but you know, it'd be easier if I knew what I was pushing him towards."

"That is not for you to decide, Lilah. You will not tell him you know you won't be going back to Hell for a little while, or we will send you back right away. Do you understand?"

Lilah considered it. She could either stay in Hell or go spend time with Angel and his crew of annoying people. Was there really a difference in the two options? Okay, she supposed Hell was worse. But still, spending time with Angel…

"Okay," she agreed. "I'll do it."

After the spell

Angel got through explaining to them all everything Drogyn had said about Connor. It was a lot to take in for them all, especially with the sudden return of all the memories, but Angel got rid of the memory spell and he wasn't willing to wait much longer to talk about Connor. His son's life was at stake and he needed help, needed advice about what they should do, and he needed to know now. It was only a matter of time before Connor/Illyria figured out what they could do to Faith and if that happened that would be bad for everyone.

The good news was that Gunn and Lorne weren't taking the return of the memories too bad. They seemed a little confused, but other than that they seemed content in the fact that the memories didn't bother them too much and they could focus a little more on the topic at hand.

Although the bad news was that Fred and Wes were more distracted. Wes was too distracted with his memories, and Fred was too distracted with being worried about Wes. It wasn't an ideal situation, but as long as they still had opinions on Connor then Angel could move on, deal with Connor in the right way, and then focus all his attention on his friends.

"We can't release Illyria back into the world," Fred stated directly. Her voice was quiet and a bit shaky. "You got rid of her and she's such a threat. We can't bring her back."

"We can't kill Connor, either," Lorne weighed in. "He's Angel's son!"

"And I'm opposed to just letting him fight Illyria for the rest of his life," Angel said. "Unfortunately, those are our only three options. We have to choose what to do."

"Angel, it's your son," Faith told him. "You can do whatever you want, as far as I'm concerned."

"But what I do concerns not only me. It concerns you also, Faith. You're connected to Illyria now. If Connor or Illyria or whoever was to tap into that power she would find it inside to take over you by mind controlling you and ordering you to do her dirty work."

"Well sure, but I'm not going to be here much longer. It's all up to you guys."

Angel shook his head. He needed her help in this now that she was a part of it. If Illyria were to stick around inside Connor forever, Faith would always be in danger.

"We gotta kill 'em," Spike spoke up and everyone turned to him. "I'm sorry, Angel, I know he's your son, but we can't release Illyria back into the world and we can't have him fighting for control the rest of his bloody life. I don't see any other option."

Angel nodded and didn't say anything. He wasn't angry, he wanted them all to give their true opinions, and that was all Spike was doing. In fact, Angel was glad about Spike being so honest. He needed that right now. Things were hard enough going through all of this alone, and now that his friends knew the truth he wanted their opinions.

"We can't just kill him," Lorne said. "He's done bad things, but he was always welcome as a part of the team. We've been through so much together it's almost insane to think that we should just kill him after all this time, no matter what. If Connor was trained properly I'm sure he'd have enough strength to keep Illyria down."

"No," Gunn disagreed. "I have to agree with Spike on this one. I don't wanna do it, but that ain't no life to be living if he's constantly fighting for control over his own body."

"And he won't get a life at all if we just kill him," Fred argued. "He deserves a shot, a chance, just like we've always given him. Killing him is no answer and won't do anything but make everyone depressed."

Angel tried to take in what everyone said. So far it was even. Lorne and Fred thought killing was wrong and thought the best thing to do would be to train Connor to fight the Illyria inside of him, and Spike and Gunn thought the only good solution was to kill Connor. While Angel didn't want to deal with the fact of possibly having to kill his son, he knew they were right by pointing out he'd have no life at all if he was fighting for control of his own body all of the time. Angel didn't want that for his son. He also didn't want to kill his son. Why were these such difficult choices?

So far, the only truly "original" member of Angel Investigations and Wolfram & Hart that hadn't answered was Wesley. Angel wanted to hear what he thought on the subject.

Wes was still finding it a bit hard to focus on everything going on around him, but he got the gist of their conversation. What he'd done, he couldn't get it out of his head that this was his and no one else's fault. If he never took Connor, he would probably be about two years old now and a happy-as-can-be child who wasn't partly possessed by Illyria. Because of him, Angel was going through some major suffering for his son's hurt on top of the death of so many people. Because of him, Fred was also going through some inner turmoil. She claimed he helped her get through hit before, but how could she say that when he was the cause of so much pain the past? She said she loved him, but did he really deserve her love? He loved her, of course he still did, and he'd never stop. She knew everything he did, though, and what if she decided after a while that what he did frightened her?

It was too much. He couldn't bear the thought of her hating him or being afraid of him. Just because she said she wasn't now, what if that changed later on?

"Wesley," Angel spoke slowly. "What do you think about Connor? What's your opinion?"

"I don't have one," Wes said. "I don't need or deserve one anyway. Decide whatever you must. I'll support any of your decisions."

Angel disliked the sound of that. He wanted Wes's opinion and needed to hear it. Unfortunately, he knew that Wes wasn't going to give an answer, just like Faith hadn't. He wasn't going to let Faith stay unbiased, though, because she sure was connected to Illyria and she needed to do what she thought would not only work for Connor, but work for her as well.

He turned to her and asked her what she thought. She didn't look like she wanted to answer, but finally she gave in.

"Angel, like you said, I'm connected to him. As much as I don't wanna see your kid go, what other choice do I have to say?"

He nodded along to her words. What she was saying made sense, and he couldn't argue that it didn't. He didn't even want to argue that it didn't, because in reality, it made perfect sense. That made the votes three against two to kill Connor. Angel realized that even though everyone had their own opinions, he had to do whatever he felt best for his son anyway. If only he could ask Connor, but what were the chances he would break free for a long amount of time again?

"Okay," he said. He didn't know what else to say. He wasn't necessarily going to listen to his friends, but what if they had a point? Maybe Connor did need to die. Angel didn't want it to happen. He never would. But did he have a choice?

"I say you release Illyria," Lilah finally said. She'd been standing off on the sidelines while Angel and his friends had their pathetic discussion.

"I don't recall any of us asking you, Lilah," Angel shot at her.

She chuckled. "True. But I still do have an opinion, and that is that you are all a bunch of idiots. So what people died because you decided to play hero and get rid of Illyria? If you want your son to be alive and live a life, this is the only shot you'll get at it."

"Wow," Faith puzzled. "I didn't think it was possible, but you became even bitchier over time."

Lilah grinned at Faith. "And you stayed the same-"

"Guys, not now," Angel stopped them. "Lilah, you don't get a say in this. We don't even know why you're here."

"Angel, don't be an idiot. You're overlooking one major factor about rereleasing Illyria."

"And what would that be?"

"Once Illyria has been rereleased the piece of her in Connor will, what, just disappear and go back with all the other pieces?"

Angel shrugged. "Presumably."

"And Fred, oh all-important Fred, how did Illyria get inside of you in the first place?"

"The-the sarcophagus," Fred said. "I breathed in some dust or something that came out of it and suddenly just infected me."

"But it didn't actually change you until much later."

"Sure," Fred agreed. "I mean, we did tests and found there was nothing wrong, everything was okay, and nothing happened to me. Then some hours later suddenly I was coughing blood and near death."

Lilah snapped her fingers. Everyone looked at her with confused looks. "Do I have to put the pieces of the puzzle together for all of you? What about you, Wesley? You're smart, and you don't see it?"

Wes looked up at her. "I'm disgusted by the sight of you," he said. "We being…whatever we were hurt others. Everyone was shocked. If anything, that pushed me further away from them. You all hated me."

Lilah rolled her eyes. "You really need to fix him."

"There's nothing to fix!" Wesley suddenly shouted. "I'm being honest because no one else here will be. You all don't understand! I betrayed you!" With a shake of his head, Wes stormed out of the office.

"I'm going after him," Fred stated and hurried off to chase Wes.

"Anyway," Lilah jumped right back into the conversation as if nothing had happened, "those hours that Fred was referring to? The ones where she wasn't affected by Illyria but Illyria was still inside her? That's your golden time. That is the time the Old One has entered you but is still settling inside your body before they begin their full-on attack."

Angel thought about it for a minute. Lilah was right, surprisingly. Illyria could enter someone and then the other part of her would leave Connor and then they could try and stop the full take over before the person was affected. That would work, right? But how would they stop the take over? Angel asked Lilah that question.

"How would I know?" she questioned. "I'm not the master of Old One's. We need your pal Drogyn here for that."

"Spike, go get him," Angel told him.

Spike rolled his eyes, but then he walked away to go retrieve Drogyn.

Fred chased after Wesley and after about a minute got him to stop. He stopped and turned to her and ran his hands through his hair. He couldn't talk to her, not now, not when everything in his head felt so screwed up and when he wanted to collapse because he wasn't sure what he should be feeling inside of him.

"Wesley," Fred echoed as she got closer to him. As a bit of a shock, she laughed. Wes's confused look was enough to make her stop. "Sorry. It's just that this, what we're doing right now, reminds me of what you did a few days ago. I was running down the halls, tears in my own eyes, trying to escape what was going on around me. You chased after me, though, like I'm chasing after you. And you promised me you'd stay by me no matter what."

He remembered that. Fred had been terribly sad in the moment, and he was willing to do anything to help her or make her feel better. Plus, he wanted to stop her from possibly doing something incredibly stupid.

"I guess now the roles are reversed," Fred continued. "I beg you to stay, to not freak out, to not do something stupid because I love you and I think if you truly understood that you wouldn't be going through what you're going through right now."

He remained silent.

"I know you feel guilty. I've felt guilty before, and recently. And you're the only one that got me through it. Without you, without loving you, I'd still be an emotional wreck right now. I don't want you to feel guilty, but if you leave me now, I don't know what I'd do. Maybe go back to being all emotional again? I'm not sure. It hurts that you don't believe we all forgive you for anything you did in the past."

"It's not that," Wes finally spoke. "It's…it's what if one day you wake up and realize again what I did and what a monster I am?"

"I would never do that. I love you, Wesley. Loving someone isn't pushing feelings down that will one day reawaken and destroy us, loving someone is caring for someone so unconditionally that it doesn't matter what they did in the past or what they will do in the future because that can't change your opinion of them."

They stood in silence. How could he respond to that? How did he want to? And, most importantly, was she right?

"That was beautiful," he told her slowly. "Perhaps you're right. Perhaps that means we should go back to Angel's office and help them with Connor."

"Wesley, do you love me?"

"Of course. You know I do."

"Then you have to know that I'm being honest, that what you did doesn't matter to me anymore." Fred took a big step forward and then kissed Wesley on the lips. She wrapped her arms around him just in case he tried to move away and she was glad when she didn't feel him attempting to pull away. When they pulled apart, they were both gasping for breath. "You have to believe me."

Wes gulped. She had her ways of being convincing. Plus, he loved her and she loved him. He knew that. He was lucky for her to actually share that love with him.

"I believe you," he whispered.

"Then let's go back, and let's save Connor."

"I'm sorry for being such an idiot."

"It's okay," Fred said. She pulled away from him and took his hand in hers. "You being an idiot is part of the reason I love you," she joked and managed to get a small smile out of Wesley.

Spike and Drogyn got back to the office before Wes and Fred, although they followed close behind. Angel didn't waste any time and began telling Drogyn what Lilah had said and about the possibilities of saving someone in that stage before Illyria began truly affecting the "shell's" body.

"I suppose it's possible," Drogyn explained. "You wouldn't be able to kill the body like you could kill Connor at this point, since all of Illyria is much stronger. She would essentially be at her weakest state inside the host, though, since there'd be no signs of her inside yet. She'd most likely be spreading herself through the body's blood and getting a feel for the entire body before actually taking over. Maybe that means that if a spell were to be done that would literally freeze every organ inside the body, which would also freeze the person, Illyria would be stuck. Of course, the person would be stuck also, frozen forever. That might be a small price to pay if you wanted to attempt it. Just because I'm saying this doesn't make it 100 percent true, I hope you know. Nothing like this has ever happened before, so I could be wrong in my guesses."

"Would it be worth the risk?" Angel asked out loud.

"It's kind of ridiculous," Fred opinionated. She still stood be Wes and held his hand to warm and comfort him. "If this were to work, someone would have to choose to be infected by Illyria and be frozen forever. Not a single person would be willing to do that, and we can't force anyone to do it."

"I see nothing wrong with force," Lilah said.

"You wouldn't," Gunn mumbled.

"Hypothetically, if we did have someone, how would we be able to freeze them?" Angel asked.

"A powerful witch would be able to do it, most likely," Drogyn answered.

Immediately, Angel looked at Faith and she looked at him.

"Oh, Angel, come on," Faith said in a complaining voice. "You want me to bring Red here? What if the spell is too powerful for her to want to do? She's always getting defensive about that stuff with her evil side near coming out with her magic doing."

"No," Angel shook his head. "You're right. Fred's right also. No one would want that to happen to them. Besides, it's too risky. We don't even know if it'd work for sure."

"Angel, this is your son," Spike said. "If you want to try something to save him this may be it. We may have to take the risk, no matter what."

Was Spike right? Angel felt like he might be. Angel wanted to save Connor, and this may be a way to do it. It was a risk, no doubt, and if they were wrong then Illyria would rise again and that wouldn't be good. The question was: Was Angel willing to risk releasing an extremely powerful Old One in order to save his son?

Connor kicked the door in. Instantly there was a scream of a woman. He stormed into the apartment and found her standing in the kitchen, looking at the kicked-in door that was clearly visible. Connor walked over to her, placed his hand around her thin neck, and grasped her hardly.

"Hey, get away from her!" a voice, a man's voice broke in. A man came running into the kitchen and tried to swing at Connor.

Quickly, Connor took the knife he used on Faith before out of his pocket and swung it forward at the man. It came so swiftly that the man didn't even see it until it was inside his chest. The man's eyes opened wide and Connor pulled the knife out and he fell to the ground. Connor turned towards the woman.

Connor/Illyria wanted to find out. There was a strange feeling he got when he was around Faith, and he wanted to figure out what it was, but he couldn't do it at Wolfram & Hart. So, he decided to kill some other people and see if they came back to life and if they did and he would, most likely, get the same feeling he got around Faith.

When the woman was dead also, he laid her next to the man, her husband, no doubt. He stood there above them for a minute. Nothing was happening. Why not? Something had to happen, it had to, it had to! If nothing happened, then-

The man sat straight up and gasped. The wound in his chest disappeared as if it were never there and left behind nothing but a hold in his shirt. Connor was right. He felt something, the weird tingling sensation he got around Faith. That meant something. He would have to figure out what.

The woman came back to life also. Connor/Illyria smiled. Good. Things couldn't be any better.