Entering my room feels easier than it has in months, with no fear to burden my shoulders. I walk to where my room mate is seated at his desk. I am a new person. Gary must not be able to see this change in me, or it's hidden behind a steely expression of murderous intent. I never believed wanting to kill someone would feel this relieving. I repress the urge to laugh. Gary must find something humorous as well, because he chuckles darkly and stands from his seat, putting two large hands on either of my shoulders.

"So, Petey-boy, I heard you like dick?" He sneers.

I smile at him.

Before I can change my mind, I swing my fist back, gaining momentum to slam it into Gary's chin. I can see the utter shock in his eyes as his head jerks violently to the side. For a moment all is calm.

I almost want to be the bigger man. To walk out of this room and let him stew in his own hatred. But I would just do to the same thing somewhere else. I have sunk this low.

"Fuck you." I'm grabbing his shoulders to bring his abdomen down hard on my knee. The air audibly leaves his lungs and I can see a familiar flame spark to life in those dark eyes. He lunges at me, albeit slower than his usual self. He drags me to my knees, climbing over me and trying desperately to claw at my face. I feel the sting of scraped flesh on the side of my face and this gives me the incentive to twist in his grasp and begin beating my swollen knuckles into the side of his head again, again, again, and now I am the one with the brick in the nightmares that reside behind closed eyes. This does nothing to stop me. If anything I swing harder and come back with blood on my hands, uncertain of who it belongs to but not caring.

"I'm going to kill you, Peter." Gary wheezes behind bloody lips. I scream when his scrambling fingers bore into my eye, squeezing them shut and thrashing my knees up into him. His menacing smile melts off his face when I hit his groin with a lucky blow. His hand stills near my face and I bite down as deep as I can.

The noise that tears it's way through Gary's throat is that of a wounded animal, loud and painful to the ears. I stare in horror as he leans away from me, cradling the spouting hand to his chest. No flesh is missing but I can see the small black holes where my teeth sunk. My shirt is red with his blood and it's matted in his hair.

I mean to run when Gary looks down at me, face blank. I mean to scream, but something holds me there. I have spent my entire life running. From the inevitability of being a disappointment to my family. From fucking Bullworth, and from what is supposed to be my home here. No more. I hold his gaze defiantly and I can feel something tickling at my chest that might be pride. I don't break this, even when an elbow comes lunging toward my face. I let it happen. I hear this sickening crack for the second time in my life, and I have to say that experiencing it first hand is not as pleasant as it is to be an innocent bystander. I cough out the fluid flooding my throat, and I know that my nose is broken from the bubbling of blood in my nostrils. I laugh. I sit there with Gary straddling my front wrapping his uninjured hand around my windpipe, squeezing, and I use the precious air I have left to laugh in his face.

I begin to pass out when Jimmy and two teachers bust into the room, pulling the older boy off me. Jimmy is hovering over my face, practically screaming questions at me. But I remain silent, letting this wave of unconsciousness wash over me. I almost feel bad for not answering.

When I wake up it's in the infirmary. I'm laying on a small cot in the corner and everything is too bright. I can hear the nurse's pencil scratching notes on her clipboard from where she stands just a few feet away. Plain. Pretty. She hums beneath her breath and for some reason or another it makes me feel a little bit better.

I move to get up and the whole world turns into fuzzy specks of gray in my eyes, so I relent, blinking my vision back. In retrospect that was probably an awful idea.

"Nice to see you awake, Peter." Says the nurse with a small smile. She doesn't look in my direction. "Your nose was broken, but we set it while you were passed out. Besides that, you've just got a few bumps and bruises. It'll be better in no time."

I feel the tender area on my face with light fingertips, only to find a thin bandage covering the real damage. The small scratches on my forehead and eyelids feel greasy, like they've had ointment rubbed into them. I'm lucky I didn't lose an eye, though I'm not particularly worried about my physical well being right now. Everything is different. I stood up for myself, and that is something I refuse to regret. But what now? I can't let Gary walk all over me, but if that involves getting sent here every time I don't... No. It doesn't matter. I'd do it again.

"Now, Peter-"

"Pete." I interrupt. "Please, I go by Pete."

She begins again, "Alright then, Pete it is. Now, you know I can't let you leave here without asking some questions first."

I sigh, wincing when a bruise on my side throbs painfully. I knew this part was coming. The nurse takes this as a sign of compliance and begins, "Who instigated this fight?"

"I threw the first punch." I admit. She looks surprised.

"Oh, alright. Well, the other student, Mr. Smith, has refused to answer any questions about the incident." She writes some more stuff on her clipboard. "So unless he does and decides to press charges, this can be sorted out by the staff here at school. Do you consider living with this boy to be an unsafe environment?"

I lean up, my legs shifting off the side of the bed. "No. It's fine. We were both just worked up. It won't happen again." I say, unsure of how honest I'm really being. But I do know that I can't relent to Gary now. Our dorm is the closest thing to home I have, a shitty one at that, but I'm too stubborn to give even this up.

I push onto my feet, careful when I tremble, and thank the nurse for patching me up as I leave. She doesn't seem to feel the need to ask any more questions, and for this I am also grateful.

I return to my dorm with only slight trepidation. For the most part I manage to look put together. No one whispers about me as I walk by. I'm almost through the door, to safety, to privacy, when a hand jerks me back from the handle. I tense, ready to throw punches. But it's only Jimmy, giving me the most exasperated look I've ever seen on him.

"What the fuck, Pete?!" He emphasizes his words with a small shake to my arm. "For such a smart kid you can be really stupid, you know that?" He drags me into my own dorm after affirming that it is, in fact, deserted.

He closes the door behind us and turns back to me, expectantly. The light from the fading afternoon is dim, so I make my way over to Gary's desk to turn on the lamp. I still don't speak. "Well? Are you going to answer me or did he knock your brains out too?" I can hear the annoyance rising in his voice.

"What do you want me to say? I'm pissed. He deserved it." I bend down to pick up stray articles of my clothing from the hardwood floors, tossing them into a corner by my bed.

"Of course he fucking deserved it, Pete, but you can't just run around picking fights with people who can end you and also happen to know where you sleep." Jimmy hisses through clenched teeth, his black hoodie scrunching up where his shoulders are raised, hands gesturing continuously.

I shrug and Jimmy rolls his eyes. "Fine. Fuck it." And he moves to leave.

I speak quietly, "I needed it."

He pauses for a moment, already grabbing the handle. "You need some common sense." He sighs.

And the door is slammed behind him.

I settle for busy work after he leaves, making my bed and even going as far as to start a load of laundry. Maybe it's to get my mind off of how angry I am with everything. Or maybe it's because I can't sit still knowing that my room mate could walk in at any moment.

By twelve at night I'm certain enough that he won't be coming back tonight to drift into an uneasy sleep, ribs aching.

My dreams are no less unsettling.

I find myself trapped in a box of mirrors, too small for a person. I don't know how I got here but I want to get out. Quickly. I can see the walls closing in and I can't see why I haven't been crushed by the cool glass.

I search with desperation for some crack in the surface, some weak spot that I can break. But everywhere I turn I'm only confronted by my own panicked face. My fingers skim the surface, leaving smudges over my reflection, but every corner is as smooth as the last and I begin thrashing against it with as much room as I'm allowed. Nothing happens. I am still caged here. I can feel tears at the corners of my eyes when the lights disappear.

The mirrors are still there, I can feel them. I try my best to catch my breath. In the darkness I see a glint of light on the surface before me, and surely, more light begins flooding in from some unknown source.

This is slightly better until I look back at my reflection. My skin has been peeled from my face and even though I'm certain that I haven't moved at all, the figure opposite me is flinging itself against the barrier with abandon, leaving splatters of blood behind, shrieking. I feel the voice all around me, in my own throat. The muscles of it's face, my face, have begun to split and peel further around the splintering glass within it. I am transfixed by the image.

There is nowhere for me to run, even if I could move my legs. I am forced to watch as the mirror shatters, shards flying. I can feel some cutting into my cheek, some in my fingers. I look down in abject terror, watching the blood pool in the palms of my hands. I scream.

The sound follows me back into consciousness. Someone is straddling my hips. Shooting into an upright position, I come face to face with Gary Smith.

Author's note:

TAKE THIS SPECIAL LONGER CHAPTER BECAUSE I LOVE YOU ALL. I honestly only expected a handful of viewers when I started Nebulous but here we are, and I'm so excited for all of the possibilities. First of all, thank you for reading! But I'd like to give a special thanks to the following people for leaving such excellent reviews:

- Auspicious Autumn

- bootysnatcher (ayyyyyyy)

- SwedishFinns

- Deja Vu

- And lovely anon

They've been very uplifting to read and also wonderfully insightful! To those of you who haven't already, leaving reviews is what motivates me and keeps this story going! You can all find me on tumblr as motherfucking-breadcrumbs 3