Chapter Two

When we returned to the States, Mark had Cassie's eleventh birthday party, which was much more reserved than my parties. He had some of the wrestlers, her brother, Gunner, his current wife, Sara, and me. Cassie stayed quiet for most of the party. The only time she showed signs of life were around me and Gunner. I felt bad for her, especially when I saw the way her step-mother looked at her. It was clear she would be happy when Mark took Cassie and left again.

At the end of the night, I gave Cassie my birthday present just before Dad and I left. I waited for her to open it. It was a pair of punk ear rings that I had seen her eyeing at the mall. Her father would never let her buy them on her own, but he wouldn't take a gift away from her. I had also gotten her a leather band bracelet. It put a real smile on her face before I left.

Getting home from the party, Dad checked the messages on the machine. I went straight to my room. I was about to jump in the shower when he called me back downstairs. Groaning, wondering if I had possibly done anything wrong, I went downstairs to his study.

"What is it, Dad?" I asked him.

"Your mother called."

"And?"

"She wants to see you."

"When are you gonna make a point?"

"Denise," he said warningly.

"Fine," I said, giving in. "When?"

"The day after tomorrow."

"But I have plans with Jeff!"

"Cancel them. You haven't seen your mother in over a year."

"Whose fault is that, Dad?"

"Denise. Cancel them. You can spend time with Jeff another day."

"I have no say in this, do I?"

"No. I don't ask a lot out of you, Pal."

"I don't really want to see her. This is getting pretty annoying, the way she randomly starts to feel either guilty or the need to feel like a good mother and then she wants to see me. Either way, she uses me to make herself feel better, Dad."

"She's still your mother."

"It's gonna end up the same way it always does. She's gonna pick me up and take me out, we're gonna go do something she likes but I hate, we'll end up arguing that I'm not enough like her, arguing that I should act more like a sick kid, I'll get stressed out, end up on a higher dosage of meds for a while, and you'll end up fighting with her. Can't we just tell her that it's not healthy for her to keep coming and going from my life considering this is all that happens when she does?"

"No. She deserves to spend time with you. And you should spend time with your mother."

"Fine. But I guess you should make sure Doc Tristan is on call for after my visit."

"Denise, why don't you try being optimistic about your mother?"

"Because she left you when I got sick, Dad."

"That's my problem, Pal."

"No, it's our problem, Dad. She left us both. It's just she won't just leave me alone. She keeps coming back."

"Go cancel your plans. I'll call your mother and tell her she can come get you."

I went upstairs and called Jeff's cell phone.

"Hey Denise," he said when he picked up.

"Jeff, I need to cancel our plans for Thursday."

"Why?"

"My mother wants to play mommy. Dad's making me go."

"I know you hate that. I assume you tried to get out of it?"

"Yup. Pointed out that it's just gonna put stress on my heart, end with me needing higher dosages of meds and him arguing with her. It didn't work. I don't get it, Jeff. She doesn't really want to be around me. Either she's feeling guilty or she's feeling like a bad mother and wants to make herself feel better. I'm not in the mood to be used, to be forced to go do things I hate to do, all because she can't live with her choices. She left us."

"I can't explain why she does the things she does. If I ever have kids, I would never leave them, especially if they needed me."

"That's because you're not an asshole, Jeff."

"We can hang out another time. When you recover from the natural disaster that is your mother. Or maybe the next time we're in North Carolina you and I can hang out at the Imag-I-Nation for the day," Jeff said, referring to the place where he did all his art and extreme stunts.

"Sounds like fun. I'm just really dreading this. I just wish she'd stay away. She left us. Now stay away already."

"It will be okay. You always get through it, Denise. And just think, we'll be leaving Texas on Friday so she won't be able to push you to see her after that."

"I guess that is something to look forward to."

Thursday:

My mother picked me up and sure enough, she brought me out for a spa day. Was she kidding? I liked to wear ripped jeans and t-shirts in my down time. I was more punk than priss and she was taking me to a spa. My naturally blonde hair was currently a soft shade of pink, thanks to a night alone with Jeff before we came back to the States. I stuck out at a spa like a sore thumb.

"Mom, really? This isn't my type of thing," I said to her as they brought us for mani/pedis.

"Every girl your age should get pampered like this," she said ignoring me.

I stayed quiet as they started the pedicures. As we sat there, I started thinking of different ways I could make sure I outlived my mother. None of them were pretty.

"Denise, did you hear me?" she said breaking into my thoughts.

"Sorry, no. What were you talking about?"

"Isn't this just great? A girls day out at the spa, getting pampered. I bet your father never does this for you."

"I don't want him to. I don't like this."

"That's because you don't have a maternal figure in your life, Sweetheart."

I wanted to puke when she called me that.

"No, I don't think it's that, Mom. There are plenty of Divas on the roster who are into this kind of thing. It's just not me. I think it's a waste of time. I prefer to be out doing things, seeing things."

"Like dying your hair pink and piercing your ears fifty times?"

"I only have six piercings in each ear, Mom. But yes, I like to express myself."

"I don't like the ways you express yourself, Denise. Maybe it would be better, more stable, if you came and lived with me and Bradley from now on."

I pulled my feet away from the pedicurist.

"What?"

"Someone in your condition should have stability. You don't. I think you should come stay with us."

I started putting on my socks and sneakers.

"You don't know the first thing about taking care of a kid with a heart condition. You don't wanna know anything about me. You want me to be a clone of you. I'm happy with Dad. And we're done. I'm not gonna keep pretending to enjoy this stupid spa just because you wanna play mommy. You walked out on that a long time ago. Please just leave me and Dad alone already," I snapped at her as I started walking away.

When I got outside, I didn't want to call Dad. He'd be upset that I flipped out on Mom so soon. I called Jeff.

"What's wrong, Denise?"

"Can you come pick me up at the Venus Day Spa? I can't do this," I said.

"I'll be there soon."

I hid out of sight so my mother wouldn't see me on the off-chance she came looking for me. She didn't. Jeff showed up twenty minutes later and I jumped into his car. I was crying.

"Can we just go anywhere but here?" I asked him.

"Sure, Kid," he said as we pulled away.

I sent Dad a text letting him know we'd had a fight and I was with Jeff, needing time to cool off. I told him I would be home for dinner and would explain everything. In the meantime, Jeff took me to his friend's hotel room. We watched old home videos of Matt and Jeff making fools of themselves until I felt calm enough to go home.

On the way home, I explained to Jeff what happened with my mother. He couldn't believe she had pulled that. After years of pushing me out of her life, now she nonchalantly just wants to take me from Dad? No.

In the house, Dad had my heart meds on the dining room table along with a sandwich, knowing I hardly ever ate after dealing with her. Sitting at the table, I picked at the sandwich, eating what I could before I took my medications. Finally, I looked at him, knowing I needed to tell him what happened.

"I couldn't do it. I'm sorry. I tried like you told me to, Dad, but she was worse than normal."

"What happened?"

"After she essentially told me there's something wrong with me because I'm not into spa days and the way I look, she said it's because I don't have a maternal influence. Then she said I should go live with her. I snapped at her and left. She doesn't know me. She doesn't want to know me. She chose to leave us, Dad. I don't want to live with her."

Dad got up and hugged me. I could tell he was pissed off, but this time it wasn't at me. The anger was at her. He was on my side. He didn't think she had any more right to try to take me away than I thought she did. The two of them were gonna end up fighting again, and this time I hoped it meant I never had to be forced to see her again.

I went upstairs and called Cassie. With this being one thing we both understood, it was relaxing to call her and tell her what happened with her. She couldn't believe what happened either.

"If my mother ever tried that, I'd just run away," she said to me.

"I'm not going. She can go to hell. How can she decide no, she doesn't want me because I'm sick and then years later because she doesn't like how I dress she wants me all of a sudden? Dad's pissed."

"He won't let her take you away."

"I know he won't. I'm just so pissed off about this. I didn't want to go and this is what happens when I did."

"It will be okay. I promise."

"Thanks, Cassie. I'll talk to you tomorrow, I'm tired."

"Alright."

We got off the phone and I went right to sleep.