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Mal's POV
Ben had just pushed Mal into the shower in an attempt to shock her out of her shock. Luckily it had worked. Blood rushed to her head as she slowly began to take in her surroundings. She was standing in the largest shower that she had ever seen. There were heads everywhere pointed at her blowing cool water that soaked her clothes. She stopped shivering as she came to her senses. She looked down and saw red staining her clothes from the scratches. They were much deeper than they used to be. Mal started to look up and saw Ben in the shower with her.
How is it legal to be that hot?
Ben's clothes were also soaked through, causing his shirt to cling to his body. The water also caused it to be transparent clinging to every muscle curve that he had. Mal lost her thoughts starring at his chiseled chest.
"Mal?" Ben's voice rang out, echoing against the shower walls. He watched as the blood from the cuts was washed down the drain. He looked up to see the bruises on her neck had faded to just a dark yellow. Seeing that she wasn't going to respond, he grabbed her hand and held it up to a water spout. He looked at her for permission before grabbing the washcloth from the side of the shower and placing it on her arm. He looked at her again before slowly wiping the cloth up her arm. He watched as the scratches healed as his cloth passed over them.
They don't sting as bad anymore.
Mal slowly let herself relax into his touch. She lifted her gaze and watched his face as he ran the cloth up her arm across her shoulders and down her other arm. Ben kissed her hand when he was done with both arms and raised his gaze to meet hers. The openness in her eyes made him swallow in shock.
(Bens POV) I've never seen her so open before. She smells so strong now, granted the blood is not helping much. I just want to touch her everywhere.
Ben dropped to one knee and ran the cloth up one leg causing Mal's breath to hitch when he reached her thigh. He wiped off both thighs without 'accidentally' wiping anything else off despite what his body was trying to get him to do. He knew that if he did that, she would never trust him again. Not while she was in this vulnerable state at least.
This feels amazing.
Mal's eye closed and her head dropped as his cloth made it down her other leg. She felt the change to his finger-tips as he grazed them up her leg to her arm and then her shoulder. The point was to not startle her when he reached her shoulders to turn her around.
oh..
Mal's mouth opened slightly from the sensation of his skin on hers. This caused Ben to stop breathing, fighting to control his hormones. When he reached her shoulders and turned her around, the spell was partially broken. It was just enough for him to run the cloth down her back without jumping her. He turned her back around with the cloth running along her hip to wipe her stomach.
Seeing that her eyes were still shut, he cleared his throat to get her attention. Mal opened her eyes and looked at him.
How can anyone feel that much for someone? The way that he is looking at me is sending chills down my spine. What is this, this feeling in my chest? This tightness?
Starring deep into her eyes, he folded the cloth up the best he could, placing it on her shoulder. He kept starring at her eyes as he slowly dragged the cloth along her collar bone. He felt her chest rise as he dragged the cloth down the center of her chest. He slowly brought the cloth along the top of her sports bra. Swallowing in ecstasy, he brought the cloth to the center of her chest again, dragging it down and then slowly across the top of her bra on the other side. He watched her the whole time to make sure that she was okay with him doing this to her.
(Bens POV) I don't want to scare her. She is too precious to me. I need to make sure she is okay first, but boy do I want to kiss her. This is intoxicating. Her soaked clothes are barely covering anything. I just want to glance, but I can't. Focus Ben.
Ben placed the cloth on her other shoulder and dragged it across her collar bone. All of the scratches were healed now with the only proof that they ever existed being the blood that had stained his shirt. Ben glanced to her neck and cupped her face with his free hand. He tilted her head up by placing his thumb under her chin in order to drag the cloth across her throat seductively. He couldn't contain himself anymore. It was too much for him.
He dropped the cloth to place his hand on the wall behind her after turning them both into the wall. He backed her up just enough so that her back was against the jets with w few more inches then either of them would like between their bodies. Leaning down, his nose touched her neck and he inhaled to savor her scent. Tilting his head up just enough, he placed a soft kiss on the pressure point of her throat where her artery ran.
Mal shivered in delight.
No one has ever been that sweet with me before. That, that felt amazing. I can't kiss him back though, I just can't it isn't special.
Ben, feeling a little bit braver, placed another kiss along her jawline.
Oh magic Ben, that's indescribable.
He smiled against her jaw when he heard her sharp intake of breath against his ear. Ben let his lip run along her jaw as he brought his lips up to her cheek to kiss her cheek. Water started to run down their faces as she leaned against the wall. He was afraid the she had fallen back into shock at first, but was relieved when he felt her chest rising and falling faster while her hand reached up to grab his forearm that he was leaning against.
Ben resumed his play and tilted her head down with his hand so that he could run his lips up her cheek to kiss her temple. He felt Mal swallow against his hand in response. He smirked when he realized that he awakened the same raw emotion in her as she did in him.
I don't know how much more of this I can take. It's so tempting. Is one kiss worth it?
He tilted her head down more and ran his lips to her forehead and kissed there. This kiss was meant to be less as seductive as his other kisses were. He did this in hopes that it would help loosen her tension and open her up more to him. He continued his path down between her eyes and ran his lip lightly down her nose. Knowing that the nose can be one of the most sensitive spots on the face, he wanted to make sure it was extra seductive. Just before he got to the tip of her nose, he felt her reach out to his abdomen with her other hand. Instead of pushing him away, she grabbed her shirt and knotted her hand in it. Taking this as a sign of approval, he kissed the tip of her nose, sucking just a little bit to bring some added pressure against his kiss. The effect worked causing her to open her mouth and suck a breath in.
Ben, this isn't fair. This is too good. There is absolutely no way that you feel this for me. I'm a villain. I'm wicked. I'm rotten to the core. I'm everything wrong for you. I'm a terrible- oh
Ben had just pressed his knew between her legs, spreading them apart slightly. He leaned forward a little bit, pressing her closer to the wall. The added closeness caused her thumb to slip between the buttons on his shirt, her skin grazing is skin.
It's so much softer and more muscular than I thought it would be.
Mal's eyes slowly opened as she looked up at his. He was begging her to allow him to kiss her with his eyes.
(Bens POV) Please Mal.
Ben rested his nose lightly against hers, inhaling her scent with every passing moment.
I don't know what to do.
Ben, seeing no response he decided to test his luck. He leaned forward and felt his lips barely start to touch hers before she turned away and he felt his heart sink. He kissed her head instead and backed away. Suddenly feeling the water that was once warm as cool.
"Why do you keep doing that?" he asked her.
"What do you mean?"
"You always pull away Mal."
"I"
"If you don't want to be with me, that's fine, but just tell me Mal." he answered.
No! I don't want that! It's just, I can't!
Ben sighed and leaned over her to turn the water off. The jets from the shower sent water running down his face. His hand had just reached the controls when Mal stepped forward. She stepped forward, pressing her bod against Ben's. Ben froze in response, not sure how to handle this situation. Mal raised her head up to Ben's head, leaving it an inch from his face.
"That isn't it," she whispered, placing her hands on his chest. Ben turned the water dial up to increase the heat, but didn't take his body away from hers.
"Then what is it."
"I can't Ben, I just can't." Ben could hear the pain behind her words as she turned away. He knew that she wanted him. He just couldn't understand why she wouldn't let him.
"Let me in Mal, I'm not going to punish you for your past. I just want to know you. I want to love you in every way that I can." Ben answered sincerely. Before Mal could talk herself out of it, she lifted her lips to his and just barely set them against her. It wasn't a kiss but it almost was. They stayed there for a moment, both daring the other to move the slightest making it a kiss.
Don't think about it Mal, just do it.
Ben breathed in through his mouth as he inhaled her scent. Her lips just barely touching hers, he couldn't do it anymore. He was dying from the wait. Ben closed his eyes and pressed forward the lightest bit.
His lips were met with her soft plump ones. Ben could feel her hesitation at first, but then it was gone, replaced with her insistence. Mal puckered her lips against his and closed her eyes. It was the best kiss Ben had ever had. Her lips felt as if they were made for his. Ben, overwhelmed with passion backed her back against the shower. He grabbed her head in between his hands and tilted her head up so that he could deepen the kiss while pressing his hips into hers. Mal could feel the obvious arousal that the whole shower scene had caused.
He's going to leave now, I just know it. It's going to happen.
Ben didn't leave though. He didn't even break the kiss. Instead, he let his tongue glide out of his mouth, grazing against her lip. She opened her mouth readily, as if it was second nature to her. There never was a fight for dominance of the kiss with them. Ben took it before Mal ever had a chance to even think about taking it. Ben pulled her lips closer to his and ground his hips against hers. Mal moaned before responding by moving her hips against his.
He didn't stop. He isn't leaving. He's staying? How? Why?
Ben broke the kiss and looked at her with a guarded face. Mal heard a low growl come from deep within Ben's chest as is eyes started to glaze.
"Stop that, I'm not leaving." his voice rang out against the shower breathless with passion.
How did he know what I said?
Ben growled again and let go of her face. He leaned down to grip the back of Mal's thigh before pulling it up to wrap around his waist. Staring into her eyes, he rotated his hips against her's, hitting her stronger now. Passion evident in his eyes, Ben dropped his head to capture her lips in his as continued his assault.
Where did he learn his? How can he make this feel so good?
Mal's hands rested on his chest in reaction to being suddenly on one leg. The more he moved against her though, the more her fingers started to slip between his shirt. She felt his growl resonate in his chest when her hand finally met his bare skin. He reached down and lifted her other leg around his waist making her jump as she was no longer standing. Ben took the opportunity and kissed his way across her jaw line and down to her neck, softly nibbling against her skin every once and a while.
Mal moaned when his soft bite made contact with her artery. Ben let go of the wall and gripped both of her hands, raising them above her head. Ben was starting to lose control and he could feel the last bits of I slither away. If he didn't stop soon then there might not be any stopping.
Ben started to bite a little bit harder on her throat when Mal started to feel a little bit of pain.
No! I can't use him like this! He can't be one of those guys!
"Ben!" she whispered out, "stop."
Ben immediately stopped kissing her neck and looked up at her, afraid that he had hurt her. He watched her face as his breathing finally returned to normal before letting go of her hands to cup her face. Timidly, he kissed her one more time before unwinding himself from her legs. Then he reached over and shut off the water of the shower.
Mal was still having trouble breathing and felt as if she had been hit with a truck. She leaned forward and rested her forehead against Ben's chest as she waited to breath.
"Let me get you something to dry off with," Ben whispered as he moved away from her to leave the shower. He dried himself off first before changing into his pajama pants that of course had little crowns on them. He grabbed one of his old Tourney jerseys for Mal to wear and a towel for her before heading back into the bathroom.
Meanwhile, Mal had leaned against the shower wall when Ben left.
Oh no! What have I done?
Mal could feel the onset of a panic attack and felt herself slide down to the floor before her legs cold give out. Resting her head between her knees she tried to calm down.
I can't do this here. I have to, I have to go. I need to find Jay or someone. Anyone but Ben!
Mal heard the door open and quickly rushed to her feet before Ben could notice that she was on the floor. She needed to get out of his room as soon as possible. Ben opened the door and handed her a towel to dry herself of with. She quickly did so and then was handed Bens old Tourney jersey. It was the one from his freshman year and barely covered her ass, let alone anything else, her clothes were soaked though so she didn't have much of a choice.
I need to get out of here.
Ben watched through the mirror on accident when she took her bra off. He could only see her back and the side of her breast before his erection was back in full force. She stepped out of the shower too soon with her things and Ben had to readjust his standing position so that she didn't see.
"Thanks, but I should go." she walked out the bathroom door and went to leave his room before Ben caught her.
"And where do you think you are going?"
Please just let me go.
"My room." she started to pull away and Ben frowned, tightening his grip.
"It's after curfew."
Ben please.
"So I'll be careful."
"And if you are caught?"
You don't understand Ben!
"I'll say I was with Jay or Carlos or something."
"Barely dressed in my Tourney jersey?"
Let me go!
"I need to go Ben." Mal tried to get away as she felt the onset of panic again.
NO!
"Mal? Just stay here, it's fine."
I can't!
"Ben, I need to."
Crap, please stop, let me go.
"What's wrong?" Ben creased his brow, but it was already too late. The panic attack had already set itself inside Mal.
"Fine," she turned her direction to his bathroom again and ran inside, locking the door on her way in.
Ben's POV ***
Ben stood there confused for a moment before it dawned on him to go find out what's wrong. Luckily, the bathroom door lock was a fake. Opening the door with ease, he found that Mal was hiding in the corner shaking. She was holding something silver, but Ben couldn't make out what it was. He caught the smell of her and recognized the smell of blood. Stepping closer, he realized what the silver item was. It was his shaving blade that he kept near his sink. Ben watched for a moment as she held the tip against her leg and watched as she slowly slide it inside her leg. Realization dawned on him when he finally was able to figure what she was doing.
She cuts. My sweet Faery was driven to harming herself by the Isle? This can't happen anymore.
Ben slowly walked up to sink to grab another wet towel to clean up the blood. He walked closer to her even slower so as to not startle her. She was so lost in her own panic that she didn't notice him until he had rested his hand on top of hers, steadying it.
"I'm sorry," she choked out.
"Shh sweetheart," he mumbled to her as he took the blade out from under her hands and out of her leg, replacing it with the towel. "it's okay. I still love you. I'm not going anywhere."
Mal let the tears that she had been fighting for years overwhelm her defenses and fall down her cheeks. She felt as if she did not deserve Ben, he was too perfect for her.
"Do you want to tell me what that was about?" she shook her head in reply.
"Not tonight." He took the towel off her and was glad to see the wound was healed already. He stood her up and walked her out of the bathroom, stopping by his dresser to lock the blade in his top drawer for now.
Guess all sharp objects need to be watched from now on.
Ben guided her dazed self over to his bed and laid her down.
"Go back to sleep Mal." he kissed her forehead.
"Stay" she whispered surprising herself.
"Oh Mal, I'm not going anywhere." he gestured for the lights to shut off and climbed in next to her.
"Ben?" came her broken voice.
"Yes Mal."
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to, I tried to keep myself from it."
Ben rolled over and kissed her cheek, grabbing her body and pulling it into his.
I can't be mad at her for this. I just hope that this is all that she is keeping from me.
"Don't keep stuff from me Mal."
"'kay," came her whisper as she fell into sleep.
What am I going to do?
The was the first night that Mal's nightmare didn't make it out of her sleep.