Chapter Sixty-Seven: Never Go Back

Everything is so dark and I know there's something wrong
But I can't turn the light on
In that split second change when you knew we couldn't hold on
I realized I lived to love you
Save yourself, don't look back
Tearing us apart until it's all gone
The only world I've ever known sleeps beneath the waves
But I remember
I won't give up on you, I can feel you in my heart
Just show me the way, I don't belong here alone
I can still see your face where it's burned into my mind
I die every time I close my eyes, you're always there
~Evanescence

*TRIGGER WARNING: T rated violence ahead. Enjoy.

She found herself lying on top of a metal bench that was pushed to the dank wall of the cellar. Her head on one side, feet dangling off the other. After the visit from Bree, Christian had once again dumped her on the ground of the cellar. But the floor was too cold and dirty. Even though the old bench wasn't much better, Nilin had opted for it instead. Once she managed to drag and hoist herself on to it, that's where she stayed.

Above her was the small rectangle window of the cellar, showing that she wasn't fully underground. It allowed her some light as she watched the shadows drift across the concrete as time went on. The room had become eerily silent once Christian slammed and locked the large wooden door. There was a ringing in her ears that didn't leave her in complete stillness.

After a while the pain had finally subsided into numbness. She couldn't feel anything. Her limbs and head were like cinderblocks that anchored her to the bench, she couldn't move. Nilly didn't want to move, she didn't want to feel anything. All she wanted was for it to end, but she couldn't give up that easy. If she was here and still alive then that meant Christian was still here and no where near her family. They were safe as long as she kept him entertained.

In and out of consciousness she faded, until it all seemed to blur as she waited for him to return. He showed up regularly, just to toy with her. The door would creak open and then slam shut, signaling his presence. The first few time Nilly kept her eyes closed in pretend sleep, but now they would stay locked on the door, cold and stone hard. Each time he'd walk over to her, running his fingers up her body and cooing "What are my plans for you?" His fingers felt like icicles on her already frozen skin as he traced the bruises on her arms.

It had been a while since his last visit though. The sky had long grown dark. Now Nilin's only source of light came from the glow under the cellar door. She wondered where Christian had gone off too. But before she could get too concerned the room was flooded with light as the door opened. He slithered towards her again. "I got you good this time," he smirked as he wiped the drying blood off her exposed neck. "What no smart ass comment?" Suddenly he crouched down, his face directly in front of hers. "Awe, what's the matter, Nilly? Don't tell me you've given up already?" His smirk grew. Nilly never broke eye contact as she glared at him. He grabbed her chin, jerking her head. "I'm talking to you," he snarled. She could see the control slowly draining from him.

"Go to hell," she said slowly with venom in her voice. His grip on her tightened painfully, instantly bruising. Then he released her and laughed.

"Not before I'm done with you," he said, his hand going to the wound on her neck. "You were much more fun before you figured out my little secret. I know you loved me," he smiled.

"That wasn't love that was compulsion." Nilly spat. He chuckled again, shaking his head. He got closer to her, resting his chin on top of the bench.

"Think whatever you like, but you have to admit we were awesome together." Christian insisted. Now it was Nilly's turn to laugh at him. She regretted it immediately as the motion sent spasms of pain into her side.

"You're delusional, and so was I back then. I hate you, I feel noting more but hatred towards you," she said, her voice steady with the new wave of confidence that hit her. "I never, nor will I ever feel anything remotely close to love. You disgust me." Christian's eyes were seething. They looked like molten silver as he glared at her and Nilly knew she might have crossed a line, but at this point she couldn't seem to care.

He lifted his head and stood up, the murderous look never leaving his face. "Well, you didn't always think that," he informed. "It seems like something has changed your mind." Nilly couldn't help but laugh, despite the pain. Sluggishly, using all her strength, she pushed herself up on the bench. She allowed the cold wall behind her to support her back and head as she leaned on it.

"You are insane," she said, turning her head towards him.

"Not exactly," he grinned. "We can't really go to couples counseling and all, since I kinda kidnapped you," he laughed. "So, we're just going to have to fix this on our own. You see, I think I know what's causing this little problem for us." Christian informed her, strolling closer. "Or shall I say who."

Nilly's jaw clenched. "You said—"

"I know what I said, and you can rest assure that as long as no one tries to come after you or avenge you in anyway they will all be left alone." Christian promised.

"What about Bree?" Nilly asked, she needed to know before she could feel any reassurance from him.

"She's been… taken care of," he answered, finding the right words. The look on his face told Nilly she no longer needed to worry about the witch. For some reason she couldn't seem to find any feelings of the loss her. "But we still have a problem." Christian said, coming to stand right in front of her now. "And to fix it doesn't involve anyone getting hurt as long as you corporate," he smiled at Nilly, pulling at the tips of her hair.

"I don't understand," she said, trying to move away from his hand but she was too tired to get anywhere. He chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

"He's corrupted your mind and I'll have to fix that." Christian said simply. Nilly cringed back into the wall, her eyes locking on Christian who just smiled down at her. "Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way, you're choice."

She didn't move, her head was slow and foggy but she knew that either the easy or hard way it was still going to be bad. Nilly couldn't speak as Christian slowly bent down till he was eye level with her. His hand came up to stroke her cheek and she tried to press herself closer to the wall.

"Oh, don't be like that," Christian pouted. "I just need you to get rid of any vervain you have and everything will be so much better."

"You've got to be kidding me," Nilly said, finding enough strength to smack his hand away. He didn't like that very much. He straightened up with a scowl. Right then, she found herself pin to the wall again. Christian held her there, and he was the only reason she was staying vertical.

"I said take it off," he order her. Nilin laughed, because clearly she had a death wish.

"Why? So you can create the fantasy that you've been living with in your head. You want to make it real? You are pathetic, throwing your power around to get what you want. Well, this time I'm not giving it to you."

"That would just be a perk to compelling you," he grinned, his face a breath away from Nilly. "What I really want, and what I'm going to get, is you forgetting all about you're little vampire boyfriend," he revealed.

Her eyes were locked open in horror. "No, I won't let you." Her fingers started to franticly claw at his arms. She wasn't about to let him take Damon away from her. Even if it was just memories it was all she had left of him now.

Christian's hand snaked around her throat, applying pressure. "Don't." Nilin choked out. He drew her closer to him, the corner of his mouth turned up.

"Where's the vervain?" he asked her. "I know you don't have any in your system, I would have tasted it," he grinned at her. "So, where is it?" He was using the same tone Nilin heard him use with Bree before. Her lips stayed pressed together, silent and closed. His fingers dug into her skin. "Don't make me ask again," he threatened. Nilin just continued to stare at him, her head was beginning to swim as her lungs burned for oxygen. "I can be very persuasive Nilly," he smiled.

Closer his face came near her. She tried to move but felt the hand that wasn't constricting her throat push her back against the wall and hold her there. Then he kissed her, his lips hot and scorching, not in the good way. When she didn't respond to him he pried her mouth open with his.

Without think Nilly's hand came up, she dug her nails into the side of his face. With all her strength she slashed across his cheek, drawing blood. He threw her down on to the ground as he wiped the blood off his face. He looked at his wet fingers and then down at Nilin.

"You bitch, I'm going to make you so sorry for that," he promised. "When I get done with you you're not going to even recognize him. You're precious Damon Salvatore will be torn to shreds. I'm going to rip every good memory out of your pretty little head," he growled at her. Then she was being pulled off the ground and slammed back against the wall. "Where's the vervain?" he asked again, but this time his voice made Nilly cringe.

"You can't do this, I won't let you." she yelled. That only caused him to laugh at her.

"Don't fight me. I will win every time, little girl," he said menacingly.

"No," she yelled. "I will never stop fighting you. I won't let you take away my life and I will continue to fight, no matter what you do," she shouted. The struggle had left her panting for air. "I won't stop," she bit out.

Christian just shook his head. "That's where you're wrong," he started to chuckle. She looked at him, not understanding his sudden burst of laughter. Then she noticed that he wasn't staring at her, his eyes were locked on her wrist, on the bracelet around her wrist.

He tore his eyes away to smile at Nilly. The smile was ugly, showing all his teeth. Then in one movement the bracelet was ripped off her wrist and thrown behind him. Nilly let out a panic gasp and slammed her eyes shut turning her head away. For the first time since she woke up in this place, Nilin felt completely defenseless.

"Open you're eyes," he snarled at her. She didn't comply, they stayed tightly closed. His hand was around her neck again and her head was slammed back into the wall. Still her eyes stayed locked, even though the pain radiating through her head was agonizing.

She heard a growl emanate from Christian and then suddenly she felt his mouth on her chest. He buried his fangs into her skin as the blood began to poor out. He drank greedily and Nilly screamed. The pain turned excruciating. He pulled away for a moment, breathing heatedly on her torn flesh. Then she felt him attack her neck. The searing pain forced Nilly's eyes to snap open and hot tears spilled from them. She let out a startled gasp when she saw Christian's eyes dilate in front of her.

He spoke in a low rushed tone. "Damon Salvatore and anything to do with him, gone," he said. "He is nobody to you. The name is foreign. Never again will a single thought about him cross your mind. You won't remember anything that happened theses past three months, nothing at all. All you will know is me and how much you need me." He finished. "Do you understand?"

"I understand," Nilly replied mechanically, the tears stopped falling. Christian's eyes returned back to normal and he smiled.

"Good," he cooed before pressing his lips to hers, smearing the blood still on his face on hers. Then he flung her down on the bench, wiped the corners of is mouth to remove the remaining blood and left the room humming to himself. The door slammed shut but still Nilly didn't move until she counted to one hundred. Then she let out a sob that she had been holding in.

Her shaking hands clutched her chest as it heaved and cried. She slammed her eyes shut and tried to picture him. Her Damon. Her vampire. She saw his hard jaw, and his raven locks that seemed to sit in a disarray of precision on his head. She could see his lips, turned up in that hidden smile that he only saved for her. And then his eyes. She could remember those strange beautiful eyes perfectly.

Nilin didn't understand, she still remembered everything. Every detail of this past summer was still in her head. From her first night in the Grill, to her last one in the boarding house, it was all still crystal clear. She remembered Damon, and how she loved him. The way his arms felt, the way he smelled, the way they kissed. All of it was there exactly where she left it. Nilin finally opened her eyes agin.

She knew Christian had been compelling her. The way his eyes dilated and the strange pressure Nilly felt when he commanded her. That was compulsion. So why could she still remember? Even in her drowsy state of mind, Nilin realized that she had to play along with it. Obviously he thought it had worked too, he was practically skipping out of the room, that bastard.

Nilin noticed that she was still crying violently and attempted to calm herself down. She clutched at her heaving, that's when she felt something hard. Reaching her trembling hand into her shirt, she pulled at the chain around her neck. It was the necklace she had taken from her parents' safe. She held the amulet in her palm, starring at the gold encased blue stone. It was a Gilbert heirloom, not surprising that it ward against vampires. That must be the only reason to why the compulsion didn't work.

Letting out a shaky breath of relief, she gently tucked it back into her shirt. That's when she realized how her eyes weren't focusing and her fingers were becoming numb. She was so cold now. The bench beneath her was slick with blood and it was just filling with more. Her hand went to the bite on her chest and neck. The burning pain was quickly pulling her under, until finally she couldn't hold on any longer.

Damon easily slammed the history teacher back into the wall, dust erupting from the chalk board. He let out a cough and a groan as he tried to rise to his feet.

"Damon, don't break him." Magnolia warned as she stepped into the classroom. She walked past the seething vampire and helped the man up, brushing the white powder off his shoulders. "I'm sorry about my friend here, he's an impulsive asshole sometimes," she said. She heard Damon snort out a laugh.

"More like an impulsive asshole vampire," Alaric said, rubbing his arm. His eyes never left Damon, who now was leaning on one of the desk in the room casually. "What do you even want?"

"Well, me personally, you dead," Damon grinned.

"Damon," Magnolia hissed a warning. "Ignore him, he's harmless."

Alaric laughed, finally tearing his eyes away from Damon to look at her.

"Harmless?" he said in disbelief. "You do know what he his, right? You know about the trail of bodies he's been leaving around town." He glared back at Damon. "Or should I say animal attacks, since that's the cover up this town uses."

"Hey, I haven't killed any in way too longer," Damon defended. "I can assure you it's not me feeding off the helpless town's people, I don't leave trails," he wiggled his eyebrows. Magnolia saw Alaric's hand shoot out and reach for his desk, but she was quicker and intercepted him.

She easily slammed the desk draw closed with her knee and Alaric retracted back. Now standing in front of him she smiled. "We need your help, Alaric." He straightened up, crossing his arms over his chest. He just stared at her. "Damon's telling the truth, he's not the vampire attacking people around town. There's someone else, his name's Christian."

"And what do you want me to do about it?" Alaric asked.

"Nothing, we just need some weapons." Mags answered. Alaric looked at her, running a hand through his sandy hair. His eyes shot between Damon and Magnolia.

"Why should I help you?" he asked.

"Because," Damon said, pushing off the desk and strolling over. "We know you have a thing for Jenna Sommers, Elena and Jeremy Gilberts' aunt. You know them right, they're students of yours along with my baby bro?" Alaric nodded warily, leaning back against the wall. "Well then," Damon continued. "You know Nilin Gilbert too, I suppose."

Again Alaric nodded. "Clearly I know her," he said gesturing around to their situations. "She sucks at keeping secrets. Is there a point to this anytime soon?" he asked, glaring.

Damon smirked at the mention of Nilly. "She's been taken by this vampire. We're going to find her and kill him, but we need your specialized weapons for this task."

Alaric was still for a moment, then reluctantly he moved off the wall to a closet in the corner of the room. He opened it, pulling out a black bag and tossing it on his desk. Damon peeked inside it, the grin returning to his face. Then he zipped it up and threw it over his shoulder. "Now we have a plan."

"Thank you," Magnolia said to Alaric. She noticed how his eyes softened a little as he nodded at her.

"This doesn't change anything," he said, turning to Damon. "Once Nilly's safe and sound, any vampires in town are fair game."

"That goes for amateur hunters, too." Damon said before he walked out of the room. Magnolia quickly followed, throwing a quick glance over her shoulder to Alaric. She nodded once more at him and saw him smile before she left the room as well.

She was awake, right? Maybe she was just dreaming again, but then again why would her dream be of her lying on the cold steel bench in that horrible cabin's cellar. Nilly had been so out of it. The blood loss, the exhaustion and the lack of food were slowly taking their toll. She couldn't remember falling asleep, or being awake. It was all blurring and swirling together.

As the sun rose, she started to see things. Her eyes played tricks on her. The shadows, casted by the new morning light, shimmered and danced. She thought she saw pictures in them, but when she tried to strain her eyes to see closer they'd disappear. Was she going crazy?

Nilly constantly thought she heard noise coming from the other side of the door. All different sounds her ears would pick up. At one point she thought she hear Elena's laughter, another time it was her mom's singing. After a while though everything lapsed back into silence and Nilly came to the realization that she defiantly was going mad.

She started to sing to herself to keep her deteriorating mind somewhat focused. Her hoarse dried throat sang a song that seemed to haunt her. Constantly she caught herself humming it mindlessly and now as she laid there it was the only song she could think of.

"Street lights passing

Every one gets me a heartbeat closer,

To where it started beating.

Keep me feeling safe and sound

When everything right is upside down.

Was it all a dream I had?

Time for us to wake up...

I'll save my words to make the most of it.

I never meant to be gone so long…"

Her voice faded as she zoned in and out. Still lying on the bench, she gave up on figuring out whether she had woken up again or not. Her eyes closed again. She wasn't sure how much time had past as the base of the song still pounded in her ears. Suddenly she felt someone's fingers trail along the side of her cheek, tucking her snarled hair behind her ear. Opening her eyes sluggishly, Nilly smiled.

"Damon?" she asked softly.

"Who else would it be?" he said with his cocky lopsided smirk that she loved. He was sitting on the floor next to the bench she was on. His elbow rested next to her as his hand continued to stroke her cheek. She knew he was touching her, but something was off. Nilin couldn't feel that strange electric volt between them. She frowned a little. "What's wrong? Miss me?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"I don't feel so good, Damon." Nilin whispered. "It hurts." His features turned serious, his smirk dropping and his eyes hardening.

"I know," was all he said. Nilin lifted her hand and placed it onto of his, stopping it in its tracks. His fingers linked around hers, his thumb stroking her knuckles.

"I'm sorry," she said, staring up into his midnight eyes. A smile came to his face, he laughed slightly.

"No, you're not," he informed her. "If you were, you wouldn't have left." Nilin tried to smiled, but came up with a pathetic lip twitch.

"I guess you're right," she agreed. His lips perked up arrogantly "You know why I did it though, right?" Nilin wondered as she attempted to squeeze his hand in hers.

"Yes," he answered sadly. Nilin felt wetness on her cheeks and she realized she was crying. "I could have kept you safe. Why didn't you trust me?" he asked, wiping the tears away with his other hand.

Nilin let out a small sob as she pressed his hand to her cheek. "I did trust you, that's why I had to go. That's why you have to let me go," she pleaded. "You would have died trying to keep me safe."

"That was a possibility but at least you would be alive." Damon said, his voice gathering heat.

"I couldn't let you die," she whispered, her eyes looking up at him.

"What am I supposed to do now without you?" he asked her. "Did you ever think of that? For one moment did you think if I could let you die, Nilly? I lived an excess of my life, but you, you dumb child, have barely lived at all," he told her sternly, his eyes as sharp as his voice.

"I'm sorry, I was just trying to keep everyone I love safe," she answered quietly, her gaze never wavering. He laughed aloud and Nilin wondered if she should be worried that Christian would hear him. Before she could voice her concerns though, Damon spoke.

"It's martyrdom," he snickered, shaking his head.

Nilin was begging to grow more tired as she desperately tried to prove her intentions to him. So she used the same words she had used on him before. She inhaled deeply feeling her crushed rib sting painfully.

"It's my choice," she finally said, her eyes catching his. Any trace of humor dropped from his expression. He moved their entwined hands on to the cold bench and rested his chin on top of them. His eyes looked worn and sad. Even in Nilin's hazy state, the change in them threw her off guard.

"You chose to leave me," he said simply. Nilin was taken back by this. She tried to lift her head up, but couldn't. The attempt left her breathless as she painfully wheezed in air.

"How could you think that? I chose to kee—"

"Keep me safe, yeah I know," Damon interrupted. "But you did it by leaving me." The tears started to well up in her bloodshot eyes again. The tears turned to streams as he lifted her chin up and slipped his hand from her grip.

"I'm sorry, Damon," she choked out. "I'm so sorry, don't go. Stay with me, Damon." She tried to hold on to him but she couldn't. She was too weak. "Please, Damon. Don't leave me, not yet," she begged him. "Please, I love you," Nilin cried.

He bent down slowly. His lips pressed softly to her aching temple and he began to pull back. His voice was soft and mournful as he whispered, "Goodbye Nilly."

"No, Damon wait," Nilin pleaded. Her hand shot out to grab his arm but her fingers clutched air and nothing else. He was gone, and she was alone again. "I love you."

Author's Notes:

Hey guys! I hope you all had an amazing weekend. Here's the second half of this chapter. We're at the end, my friends. Shit is going down. I wanna hear what you guys think. I got some incredible reviews on the last chapter, thank you to those of you who sent them (moonlightkiss1515, gummybear1825, BlackMoonWhiteSky, Alsynea) It means so much to me and I love reading them. Keep on reading guys and I'll see you next Monday.
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