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Chapter Ten - Musing

"That's it… come on Nicky, you can do it."

The young Noah's mind flashed back to this comment from the Exorcist girl as he made his way back to the Ark. He still couldn't believe that she had called him by that nickname and, judging by the look on her face, neither could she. It seemed to Nicholas that she had been under the impression that he had been offended by her use of the name but that wasn't the case.

He probably should have been offended, after all the nickname sounded decidedly childish. But for some reason he couldn't bring himself to be irritated over the fact that she had called him Nicky. The young man's feelings were strange to say the very least.

Not something that he could put into words.

He didn't really understand his feelings on the subject but knew that they weren't good. He should not be getting attached to the girl, no matter how fascinating he found her. Lyssa was an Exorcist and he a Noah. They were enemies and there wasn't really anything that Nicholas could do about that fact.

"And I don't want to," he thought to himself. Of course he didn't believe the words; they were merely spoken in the hopes that he might be able to convince himself that they were true.

Which was looking less and less likely as time passed by.

"This is so unimaginably stupid," Nicholas thought to himself as he approached the entrance to the Ark. Groaning under his breath the young man removed his top hat and ran his hand through his mahogany hair. It seemed to him that this nervous gesture had became worse after he met Lyssa and, as much as he hated it, there wasn't really anything that Nicholas could do about it. Of course this annoying habit was the least of his concerns at the moment. "There's no chance. Even if she could ever trust me, and I her, there's no way to have a relationship with someone you want to destroy."

And although Nicholas didn't really want to harm the girl the fact remained that the Noah of Praise did. The part of himself that he could only suppress and never get rid of really and truly wanted to feel the blood of all of the Exorcists running through his fingers.

An image of a lifeless Lyssa flashed before his eyes and Nicholas gripped his head in his hands. The sight horrified him on a level that the young man wouldn't have thought possible. He barely knew her and yet the thought of her death actually caused him pain. It didn't make any sense.

Now, for the first time, Nicholas found himself almost wishing that he had killed Cross when he had the chance and saved himself from these problems. It had been a calculated risk forming the so called alliance with the Exorcist and now it was beginning to appear as though Nicholas had calculated wrong. He had never expected to meet an Exorcist that he could stand, never mind finding a girl that he was beginning to suspect that he might be falling in love with. "Why did I let this happen?" Nicholas muttered to himself, completely irritated. His life would have been so much simpler if he'd never met the girl with the chestnut hair and the determined eyes.

"I still think that you're someone worth saving."

Nicholas shook his head almost violently, seeking to rid himself of these visions. Almost worse than the voice telling him that he was beyond all hope was this haunting voice whispering that maybe, just maybe, he was worthy.

Worthy of love.

"It's not true… no matter how much you may wish for it to be."

"I know," Nicholas growled, shoving the top hat back on his head and continuing on his way. He was well aware of the fact that the path he had chosen had damned him for all eternity. He didn't need the inner voice to keep reminding him of this fact. It was painfully clear to him. For awhile he had been completely okay with this knowledge but now; now he was beginning to question everything that he had once believed.

Lord Millennium's words had sounded so inviting in the beginning; they were going to make the world a better place. Yet, as time had passed, Nicholas had began to transform into someone that he didn't know.

Someone that a small part of him was ashamed of being.

With these thoughts running through his mind Nicholas was somewhat surprised to find himself back at the Ark. He hadn't really been paying attention to where he was going and considered himself lucky that he hadn't ended up wandering around lost. "Wouldn't be the first time," Nicholas thought to himself as he summoned the doorway to the Ark.

And came face to face with Lord Millennium himself.

"Good evening my dear boy," the rotund man said, the perpetual smile on his face growing even larger. His eyes focused on the newest child who had joined in his family, attempting to pick up on the emotions that Nicholas always sought to hide.

Nicholas was somewhat taken by surprise by the appearance of the head of his surrogate family but he didn't show that surprise. He easily slipped into the persona of the Noah of Praise and offered Lord Millennium a roguish grin. Reaching up the young man removed his top hat and bowed politely. "Good evening Lord Millennium."

"Good evening," the Earl said, his gaze still intently focused on the Noah of Praise. "And where have you been this fine evening Nicholas?"

Nicholas didn't even give any thought to his reply, knowing that he would seem suspicious if he did. Making absolutely certain to keep both his face and his tone completely impassive Nicholas answered the question that had been posed to him. "I was looking into rumors of Innocence in a village a few miles away. Unfortunately it would appear that the Exorcists beat me to it."

"I see." The Earl studied the young man for a few moments longer before he shrugged. "That is unfortunate my boy but of no consequence." This said the large man turned and began making his way down one of the familiar paths inside the Ark.

After the briefest moment of thought on the matter Nicholas fell into step behind the head of his rather dysfunctional family. The Noah of Praise had decided in that split second that he would have to hang close to the Ark for the next couple of days lest people begin to grow too suspicious of his actions and motives. He was already distrusted by several members of the Clan of Noah and didn't want to exacerbate the situation. Because, although he didn't personally care what the others thought, if they became less trusting of him then things would be decidedly worse for him. Which was something that Nicholas didn't want to deal with; he had enough problems dealing with the Exorcists.

It was best that he bide his time for a little while.

Of course this was the last thing that he wanted to do. What Nicholas truly wanted was to seek out the girl named Lyssa and determine once and for all why he was so intrigued by her. As well as to prove to her that he was beyond all hope of salvation. But this wouldn't be wise on his part and would only serve to increase any suspicions that the others might have.

"Give in… destroy the Innocence… destroy the Exorcists…"

Nicholas fought to ignore this inner desire as he followed along behind Lord Millennium. The Noah genes were constantly at war with the desires of Nicholas himself and this was the source of much of his current inner turmoil. No matter how much he denied it there was one simple truth that Nicholas couldn't escape from. He didn't truly want to kill Lyssa, although he had debated doing away with the Exorcist general a few times, but the Noah inside of him was a different story entirely.

And that wasn't something that he could get rid of. However the young man was determined to fight this urge… at least until the group ceased to be useful.

After the meeting with the Noah of Praise, Cross led his small group back to the inn where they were staying. He and Maria seemed none the worse for wear after their battle with the Akuma and the blond Exorcist was chatting with her husband. Lyssa, on the other hand, was incredibly preoccupied with the events that had transpired during the time that she was alone with the Noah.

"I can't believe that I called him Nicky…" The young woman ran a hand through her chestnut hair, once again feeling the warmth of a blush spread across her face. That was one of the most horrifying things that she had ever done and Lyssa couldn't get over her mortification. "Why do things like that always happen to me?"

Lyssa had never been great around people, always saying and doing the wrong things. Before they died her parents had tried their best to teach her the things that were socially acceptable but Lyssa had never really learned to control what she said. If the thought crossed her mind then the chances were really good that it was going to come out of her mouth. Which, like the earlier encounter with the Noah, tended to cause some very awkward moments. Over the years she had learned to deal with the embarrassment but this newest screw up was one of the worst.

"I called him Nicky…"

Idly playing with the charm that was hanging around her neck the young woman couldn't help but think that this moment was going to haunt her for the rest of her life. And yet a small part of her still, even after everything, couldn't stop thinking of the Noah of Praise as Nicky.

The nickname seemed to make him appear more human in a way.

When they returned to the mansion that was located in the Ark, the Earl led the way to the parlor. Nicholas wasn't entirely sure what the man was planning but decided to continue to follow him. The curiosity would only be appeased by finding out exactly what was going on and this was the only way to accomplish that.

As they stepped inside the parlor Nicholas became aware that the entirety of the Clan of Noah was assembled inside. This was strange, owing to the fact that they almost never assembled except for the family meals that Lord Millennium was so fond of. He acted as though this strange assembly didn't affect him however, an arrogant smirk on his face.

"I see that you decided to join us once again Nicholas."

The Noah of Praise turned toward the sound of this rather snotty voice, arching a brow at the haughty look that was plastered on Serafina's face. The Noah of Wrath was one of Nicholas' least favorite people however he didn't give even a hint of displeasure upon seeing her.

After all he was a master of concealing his emotions. At least when Lyssa wasn't involved. As much as he hated to admit this fact, and he would never utter it out loud, something came over him whenever the girl was around.

"Excuse me Sera," Nicholas said, bowing slightly to the woman. The motions were polite but that was the extent of it. His voice was devoid of emotion, giving away not even a hint of his true feelings. "I was out searching for Innocence."

"And did you find it?" Serafina asked, fighting to ignore the fact that the inferior Noah was calling her by a nickname that should have been reserved for the people that she actually liked. But with Lord Millennium around she didn't dare show her displeasure. The Noah of Praise was a favorite of the head of their family and the others all knew it. Though none of them understood it.

"Unfortunately not."

"Enough talk on this subject," the Earl said, the perpetual smile forever spread across his face. The rotund man turned his attention back to the youth who was trailing along behind him. "Why don't you play for us my dear boy?"

Nicholas nodded as he made his way over to the piano. He was aware of the fact that it was more of an order as opposed to the request that it sounded like but he didn't really mind. Playing the piano always helped to clear his mind and Nicholas desperately needed this comfort at present. His thoughts were a jumbled mess that it was nearly impossible to make sense of and the young man was hoping that music would help alleviate some of the stress that he was enduring.

Sitting down on the piano stool Nicholas poised his hands over the keys. He would prefer to be playing the piano in his secret room however a performance had been requested by Lord Millennium. The young man briefly thought about what song he should play before bringing his fingers down to meet the keys.

The customary energy began to swirl around the young Noah as the notes of the song filled the air. He hadn't chosen to play the lullaby but instead had opted for a slightly more upbeat song. Nicholas felt the familiar power swirl around him but it didn't give him the rush that he had came to expect.

That is until he imagined a violin accompaniment.

A small smile spread across the young man's face as this image appeared in his mind's eye. The inner Noah was screaming but in this moment Nicholas found that he could ignore it. Which was a rare occurrence and not something that the young man could easily explain.

But for the briefest of moments he had found peace.

Nicholas let out a small sigh as he continued to play, the music flowing from his fingertips without conscious thought. And, as he played, the energy continued to swirl around him… almost appearing to gain in strength.

Which of course the Earl couldn't help but notice. Sitting in a large chair across the room from the piano the large man stared at the Noah of Praise. Nicholas had his back to the assembled members of his family but even so the Earl could tell that something was different about the young man.

Fortunately for Nicholas he couldn't tell exactly what had changed about the young Noah.

Nicholas could feel several pairs of eyes focused on his back but the young man gave no signs of being uncomfortable. He had fallen into the persona of the Noah of Praise and practically exuded self confidence. As well as arrogance. He knew that everyone in the room was staring at him but didn't care. Nicholas was confident that none of them would be able to pick up any changes in his demeanor and he continued to play the song that he had chosen.

And continued to imagine what it would sound like if Lyssa were standing beside him, playing her violin.

"Perhaps someday…"

A/N - and here's the end of yet another chapter in Nicky and Lyssa's story. Hope that you enjoyed, please be kind enough to leave a review and tell me what you thought.