Hello again!
I had my tonsillectomy and everything went just fine. I've been in a lot of pain for the past week and couldn't do much other than lying around, so I haven't been writing much. I'll do my best to get back into the swing of things, though, now that I'm feeling better. I'm pretty pleased with this chapter and I hope you are too.
:3
Chapter 7
The sleep Double Dee awoke from was so blissfully deep that, though he knew something significant had happened, he couldn't recall what.
When he tried to move his legs, he remembered immediately.
"Oh."
Pushing himself onto his elbows, the brilliant boy looked down at himself. The comforter sagged away from his frame, revealing bare skin littered with reddish-purple marks.
"Oh dear…"
He looked back up at the ceiling, eyes growing wider as he realized that he was the wrong way on his bed, his clothes were strewn across the floor, and that his spine felt as if it had been snapped.
"Oh good Lord!"
The genius scrambled upward, limbs flailing as his muscles protested vehemently. His hair was plastered to his head with perspiration and his legs shook when he eased himself onto them. Everything reeked of Kevin.
"Oh, I didn't even brush my teeth!"
Wincing at the feel of his fluffy robe against sticky skin, Eddward collected an armful of clean clothing and limped into the hall. There was a new sticky note on the door.
EDDWARD,
YOU DIDN'T RESPOND WHEN WE KNOCKED. IT SEEMED AS IF YOU WERE EXTREMELY TIRED.
REMEMBER THAT A CONSISTENT SLEEP SCHEDULE IS THE BEST FIRST STEP TO A HEALTHY AND ORDERLY LIFE!
HAVE A LOVELY DAY.
-MOTHER & FATHER
"Good Lord," the boy repeated, and shuffled to the bathroom.
He washed his hair three times instead of the usual thorough two, taking care to scrub his loofa gingerly over the throbbing hickeys covering his neck and shoulders. His spine ached enough to merit leaning against the wall for support as he lathered his body with soap. When he reached between his legs to sanitize himself as delicately as possible, the soreness made him bite his lip and turn a deep red. The same meager frame he had occupied for years now felt strangely foreign. It didn't feel like it belonged to him anymore.
Fresh hat in place, the genius checked on his various charges. His pet ladybug seemed unoffended by his having neglected to say goodnight to her and the ants marched steadily onward. The tiny potted shrub by the door was bright and glossy, and his cactus stood silently on the windowsill, ever stoic.
"My God, Jim. I'm so sorry you had to see that."
Jim said nothing.
The journey downstairs was a treacherous one, pinching every aggravated nerve and brushing every wound against the fabric of the oversized sweatshirt he'd selected. Rubbing his back, he shuffled into the kitchen, making a beeline for the pain medication. Even having acquired several inches of height since middle school, it took hopping on one foot to reach the bottle. "Curse these underdeveloped muscles," he uttered, closing the door of the medicine cabinet and setting the pills on the kitchen table. He prepared himself a steaming mug of hot chocolate and a bowl of fruit before lowering himself carefully into his seat. The lid popped off of the medicine bottle (along with a sticky note emphasizing the correct dosage) and Eddward overturned the bottle. When nothing came out, he shook it gently, hypothesizing that the mediation was in capsule form and that they were simply stuck together.
"Curse this household's aversion to over-the-counter drugs," he murmured when peering into the bottle only to find it empty.
Setting the bottle aside and picking up his mug, Eddward breathed in the aroma of rich chocolate. His stomach growled suddenly at the appetizing sensory input. Smiling a little in spite of himself, he took a sip of his steaming drink, relaxing a little at the warmth that filled him.
At the sudden heat, there was a twinge deep in his gut.
Double Dee staggered out of his chair, gripping his abdomen with both hands as his face stained red with embarrassment and horror. "Curse my regular bowel movements!"
-x-
"Okay, okay, I'm coming. Geez."
The pounding on the door set off a chain of explosions in his head, and he grabbed what clothing he could find, scrubbing a hand through his hair. Kevin squinted at the clock in the living room. His scowl deepened when it told him it was 7:15.
"What the heck's goin' on?!"
The door flew backward and banged against the wall harder than the jock had intended. The tall figure looming before him raised his arms and began to wave them wildly. "Make haste, he of the many athletic pursuits!"
"Rolf? What the hell, man? I'm like halfway done with sleeping."
"Haste!" The blue-haired foreigner grabbed the athlete by the wrists, dragging him out of the house. "The sun has not yet fully risen!"
"This better be good, dude," uttered the redhead as he fell into a jog to keep up with his hysterical neighbor.
Not surprisingly, Kevin was dragged into Rolf's yard. Random items were strewn about, although not enough to be out of the ordinary: a discarded tractor tire, some colorful blankets draped over the clothes line. The chickens watched cautiously as their caretaker led the jock across the grass, all but flinging him onto the stump next to his tool shed. Kevin crossed his arms and leveled a skeptical stare at his friend, knowing that an if an explanation were to come, it would be at Rolf's choosing.
"Ah, yes, hmmm!" The slender boy rushed back and forth, gathering things and setting them across from the stump where the athlete sat. Kevin's composure began to crack as the pile accumulated - there were lumpy candles all connected by the same wick, some kind of reddish gourds, and a few disturbingly grimy scraps of fabric decorated with some sort of ethnic pattern.
"My birthday's not until December," Kevin said, taking a wild guess at what the frantic display signified.
Rolf's head whipped around, and there was an intensity in his eyes that almost made Kevin flinch. "Have the lies of this world so deceived you?"
"Uh…"
"HERE! Rolf bestows upon you the Radish of the Second Reckoning!"
"Wow." The redhead blinked down at the bulbous radish deposited in his lap. "What the fuck."
"Hush, he of the follicles of August! We must proceed, for this is the final day of the lunar phase! You must embark on your journey into adulthood before the sun warms Nana's boil!"
"Oh. Okay."
"What's goin' on?!" A tan head popped up, peering over the fence. A piece of wood with crudely-drawn eyeballs rose to accompany it.
"Oh great. An audience."
"An audience is good, yes?" The foreigner was placing a strange object on his head that appeared to be made of leather and fur with ridiculous, fluffy earflaps. "It pleases the spirits to see respect paid to the good fortune of nature."
"Can I at least know why I'm gettin' splinters up my ass five hours before I should even be awake?"
"The time has come for your second birth, Kevin!" Rolf sat down cross-legged, placing either end of the rope of candles in tiny clay pots. He pulled a wooden object out of his shirt, something that sort of looked like a flute, and blew a single note. "The first birth is out of Mama's womb. The second is the birth of a man - your chin is darkened with the hairs of fertility!"
"Wait - what?"
Jonny cackled as the redhead deadpanned.
"Rolf is good, yes? There is no hiding your hullabaloo!"
"Oh my God." Kevin dragged a hand down his reddening face. "I so do not need this right now."
To his horror, when the blue-haired teen began to play a disjointed melody on his flutelike instrument, another figure appeared from behind the gate. "How quaint! What are we celebrating?"
"Yeah, what the heck's he up to this time?"
The effeminate boy and the obnoxious redhead rounded the corner and flounced into Rolf's yard like they owned it, and Kevin groaned. "Oh God, no."
"Come! We celebrate Kevin's foray into manhood!"
"Rolf's makin' Kevin a salad," Jonny added, making little sense if any. Jimmy gave him an uncertain glance before carefully sitting down in the grass.
"How long's this gonna take, dude? I just wanna go home and sleep."
"Ahhh. Rolf is no fool, plateau-for-a-chin Kevin. You want to return to your sweet lady, yes?" Kevin slapped his hands over his face.
"Kevin's datin' somebody? Who'da thought, huh, Plank?"
"It's probably that Elise girl," Sarah mused, already looking bored. Her head was rested on her hands and she had one lock of bright orange hair curled around her index finger.
"My bets are on Isabelle," said Jimmy. "She seems to go for the athletic types."
"Please let me go home," whined the jock from behind his hands.
"The ceremony is almost complete!" Rolf dropped the flute back into his shirt, producing a match form under the ridiculous hat and striking it on his pant leg. The small group of spectators looked on in mild interest (save for a gleeful Jonny) as he pinched the match between his teeth and lit the wick at either end of the candle string. He spit it out across the lawn, where it hissed out in the dew. Wilfred oinked at it tiredly. "Raise the Radish, Kevin!"
"Jesus," Kevin said, and held the radish up in the air. Rolf let out an animalistic bellow.
When his friend finally fell silent, Kevin set the radish on the ground and sprang to his feet. "Awesome, can I go now?" He was halfway to the gate before Rolf could respond.
"The mistress of good fortune frowns upon your insolence!"
"Well that was weird."
"You said it, Jonny. Let's go back to my place, Jimmy."
"Let's. All this talk of unwashed vegetables is giving me hives."
Still blushing, a scowling Kevin stormed back into his house and slammed the door.