Chapter 18
Magic Carpets and Indoor Swimming Pools
"I know! Messrs. Moony, Padfoot, Prongs, Prongs Jr., and Pimp Daddy Evil!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Nope." Harry and Tom said as they snorted at the ridiculousness of it.
"That sounds like a horrible muggle professional wrestler's name." Remus laughed.
"I worry about you Padfoot." James said, grinning at his best friend.
Sirius sighed. "Well I tried."
Harry, Tom, Sirius, Remus, James, and Lily were making their way to the great hall for breakfast. They were still trying to find the perfect Marauder name for Tom, but so far they hadn't found one that worked.
"Maybe we should change my name too." Harry said. "It doesn't…sound…right. Messrs. Moony, Padfoot, Prongs, and Prongs Jr? No, I need another nickname."
"Slinky!" Tom exclaimed.
"Slinky?" Harry asked. "No I don't like it."
"No for me!"
"Messrs. Moony, Padfoot, Prongs, Prongs Jr., and Slinky?" Sirius mumbled. "That's not bad. I like Slinky."
"So do I." James and Remus said together.
"But now we need another one for Harry. I agree, Prongs Jr. just doesn't do it for me." James said. "I'll work on it."
"Thanks Dad." Harry said with a grin. "I agree though Tom. Slinky is a good name for you."
Tom grinned and gave a thumbs up sign as they entered the entrance hall, but then they caught sight of two people whom Harry really didn't want to talk to. He groaned and shook his head.
"I don't feel like putting up with them right now." He grumbled.
"Harry! Where did you learn to fly unsupported!?" Hermione demanded. "That is clearly dark magic. Fred, George, and Neville aren't saying, and every time we ask Professor Snape he glares at us! We want to know!"
"Yeah, people don't just burst into black columns of smoke unless it involves dark magic." Ron said, folding his arms across his chest and glaring at them.
"I've got this." Tom muttered into Harry's ear. Then he looked at Hermione and Ron and spoke in a low scary whisper. "An ancient dark magic ritual has to be performed in order to achieve unsupported flight. You have drink the blood of a pregnant woman, then you have to draw complicated runes on the ground while invoking the ghost of Morgana. Then you have to dance naked under a full moon and sacrifice a werewolf, while listening to Steppenwolf's song Magic Carpet Ride…backwards." He said with wide eyes, while nodding. "After that you can fly unsupported." He said in a normal tone and shrugging his shoulders.
James, Sirius, and Remus burst out laughing, and Sirius began singing.
"Well, you don't know what we can find…"
"…Why don't you come with me little girl…" Remus sang while laughing.
"…On a magic carpet ride!" James shouted holding his hand out to Lily, who laughed, and they began to dance as Sirius, Remus, and Tom finished the rest of the song's chorus.
Laughing at a completely confused Ron and a scowling Hermione, they began dancing their way into the great hall. Harry was laughing hysterically at his parents, Sirius, Remus, and Tom, who upon entering the great hall, began singing the chorus again at the top of their lungs. They were completely off key, but that wasn't the point. Hermione and Ron however, followed them into the great hall.
"You cannot achieve unsupported flight by listening to a muggle song about magic carpet rides!" She yelled.
"Actually you can." Tom whispered into Harry's ear. "But I'll explain later."
Harry snorted, but Hermione's yelling only caused Sirius, Remus, and James to burst into the song's chorus again while standing in the middle of the great hall. Hermione's face grew red with anger.
"I know who you two are!" She shouted, while pointing at Lily and James. "You're Lily and James Potter! I don't know how you're here or how you can throw a plate, but I'll figure it out!" She yelled, again pointing at James who had picked up an empty plate and had thrown it like a Frisbee. Padfoot had caught it in his mouth, but dropped it and reverted back to human form. "It was clearly dark magic that brought you here!"
"I wouldn't call it dark magic." Harry said loudly, deciding to take a very unique opportunity to voice his opinion on the matter. "But I wouldn't call it light magic either. I think its indifferent magic."
"There is no such thing as indifferent magic." Hermione snapped.
"Sure there is Hermione." Harry said with a grin while standing next to Lily on top of the Gryffindor table. "Let's name some dark magic spells first. There is the Killing, Imperius, and Cruciatus curses. Then there is the severing charm, the summoning charm, the banishing charm…"
"Those are not dark magic curses."
"Oh really?" Harry asked with a grin. "How about I summon your spine? Or your heart? That would kill you. Therefore that is a dark magic curse. I could use the severing charm to cut your head off or sever your jugular vein so that you bleed out. I'd say that was dark magic. I could use the banishing charm to blow a hole in your chest. That would be dark magic." He stated clearly. "Now let's name some light magic curses. Let's see…there is the Killing curse, the Imperius curse, the Cruciatus curse…"
"Harry!" Hermione yelled. "How can you say that? Those are not light magic curses!"
"Sure they are." He said with a shrug. "If you were dying a slow painful death that no magical or muggle means could cure you of, using the killing curse would end your suffering. Would it not?" He didn't give her a chance to answer though, and continued. "If you were about to kill yourself by jumping off a cliff, I could use the Imperius curse to save your life. Now this next part you would understand better than most. You know how muggles bring each other back to life with the shock paddles and CPR?" He asked, and she nodded. "Well I could use the Cruciatus curse to shock your heart. Therefore, bringing you back to life. In most cases." He added. "All magic is indifferent Hermione. It depends on how you use it. That is what makes magic 'light' and 'dark'."
"The Cruciatus curse can't bring someone back to life!" She protested.
"Sit in an electric chair with someone briefly pressing the button over and over so that you don't die right away. That is what the Cruciatus curse feels like. All it is electricity harnessed as magic."
Hermione swayed lightly on her feet as her brain tried to process this information, but Harry sighed. "Hermione, do yourself a favor and think outside the box. You're smart enough to know what I'm saying. My parents are not here by using 'dark' magic or even 'light' magic for that matter."
"Then tell us how they are here Mr. Potter." Umbridge said as she stood up from her seat at the head table.
"Ummm…no." Harry said. "It's a secret I picked up from a friend."
"Then I will have you arrested under the suspicion of using dark magic!" She shouted.
"Are my parents trying to kill people? No they are not. They are here singing, dancing, and enjoying the company of family and friends. We are using magic to be able to do something that should not have to be done in the first place! If Dumbledore hadn't made Voldyshorts kill my parents, this would not be necessary!" He shouted, as Lily placed a gentle hand on her son's arm to calm him down.
"Listen here you toad faced bitch." Lily said in a cold and deadly voice, as she stepped down from the table. "My son is not a dark wizard, unlike you and Albus." She spat. "We have already said the dead know everything, and we do. We are watching you, and your plans will fail. Mark my words."
"How dare you speak to me that way you filthy mudblood!?" Umbridge screamed. "I'll have you all arrested!"
Harry and Tom's wands were instantly in their hands and pointed at Umbridge, but James grabbed them in order to stop them from hexing the stupid woman. Sirius, Remus, and even Snape went for their wands too, but stopped when Lily moved quickly and shoved Umbridge backwards, causing her to stumble. Umbridge brought her wand up, but Lily snatched it out of her hand and threw it across the room. Umbridge tried to backhand Lily, but Lily countered by jumping out the way, then she punched Umbridge hard in the face, giving her a busted lip, and causing the toad to fall over backwards in surprise.
Lily leaned over the whimpering woman and coldly whispered, "If you ever threaten either of my sons again, you will be dealing with me." She warned, before straightening back up again. "James, I think it's time we go."
"I agree." He said, scowling at Umbridge who began getting to her feet.
"Harry, Tom, we will be watching over you." Lily said, smiling at them.
They just stood there staring opened mouthed at her. "Mum that was brilliant!" Harry exclaimed, and Tom nodded.
She laughed. "I can take care of myself." She said with a wink. "I love you both." She whispered, kissing them both on their foreheads. "Don't worry about what she called me. Just let it go."
They smiled back at her and nodded. "Yes ma'am." They said together. "We love you Mum."
After everyone said goodbye, Harry saw Lily slightly nod at Death and saw Remus shove his hand in his pocket. After that, James and Lily disappeared. Whispering immediately broke out in the great hall and Umbridge stormed out in a huff. Harry and the others watched her go, but then he turned towards Hermione.
"That Hermione, is the type of people you are working for." He said, pointing at Umbridge as she disappeared out of the doors. "You think about what I said, and you remember what she called my mother. Then come to your own conclusions."
As Hermione stood there looking up at him, Harry could see her bottom lip quivering, but she grabbed Ron by the arm and they both fled from the great hall.
"Hermione slow down!" Ron cried, as she pulled him down the corridor.
When they found an empty classroom, Hermione rushed in and closed the door behind them. She sank into one of the desks and began to cry. Ron stood there watching her, not knowing what to do, but finally she looked up at him.
"What if we have been wrong this whole time?" She sniffed, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "What if Harry is right? What if Dumbledore, Umbridge, and Fudge are the evil ones?"
Ron gaped at her for a moment. "Hermione how can you say that? Harry is being influenced by You-Know-Who and his son!"
"That might be true Ron, but what Harry said made a lot of sense actually, and you heard what Professor Umbridge called Mrs. Potter."
"I agree that Professor Umbridge shouldn't have called Mrs. Potter that, but I don't know about all that Harry said. It sounds suspicious to me."
Hermione sighed and looked at Ron. "I'll explain it to you." She said, shaking her head.
Still fuming and cursing 'that mudblood' under her breath, Umbridge made her way to her office. Opening the door to her classroom, she sighed and carefully began to wade through the mud and muck of the swamp. When she got to the stairs, she quickly cleaned the mud from her shoes and the bottom of her robes before walking to her desk. She sat down, took out a piece of parchment, and began to write.
Albus,
I'm sure by now you have received my letter regarding yesterday's events, but I have more information for you. Apparently unsupported flight can be achieved by listening to a muggle song about magic carpets. I am unsure of what that means exactly, but that is what I have uncovered.
Umbridge paused, and looked up from the parchment with a frown. She was disturbed by the thought that muggles knew about magic carpets, and briefly wondered how they found out and why no one had obliviated them. She decided that she would look into that later though.
On a more pressing matter, if you recall, I sent you a letter some time ago about a Howler that Lily and James Potter sent to their son. Just this morning, I saw Lily and James Potter with my own eyes! They looked like ghosts, but had the ability to move solid objects and touch the living. James Potter threw a plate across the room, and Sirius Black caught it in his mouth in his animagus form. Also, even though I hate to admit it, Lily Potter threatened me and struck me in the face causing my lip to bleed. I asked Potter how he had managed to bring his parents into our world, but he refused to say. However, a curious thing was said to me by Lily Potter. She said, and I quote, 'If you ever threaten either of my sons again, you will be dealing with me.' Curiously, she was referring to both Potter and Ringo. I don't know what to make of all this Albus, but I hope you can make some sense of it.
Yours,
Dolores
She reread her letter, nodded, and with a satisfied smile she made her way back through the swamp, and headed for the owlery. It took her a good ten minutes to reach it and to get back, but upon reentering the castle she heard an announcement.
"Godric, Salazar, Merlin, all the Heads of House, and Tom Riddle your presence is requested in the gathering room immediately. There is a situation that needs to be brought to your attention. Thank you."
The gathering room? Umbridge thought. I wonder where that is located.
Harry, Neville, Tom, and the twins had just finished breakfast and were on their way back to the common room when Luna made her announcement. Sirius and Remus had already left, but Harry and the others stopped in mid stride, then slipped into a dark corner on the second floor.
"Do you think she means the ROR?" Neville asked quietly as they huddled together.
"I think so." Fred nodded. "That is where we always gather in a crisis."
Harry nodded. "That is true. Should we go? She didn't name us."
"I think we should." Tom replied. "If they don't need us they will…ooof!" He cried, and suddenly lurched forward as if he had been hit by an invisible force.
"Of course I mean you guys too." Luna said. "I'm sorry Tom, I didn't mean to make you almost fall over."
"It's alright. What is wrong though?" He asked.
"Not here." She whispered. "We need to hurry, Umbridge just came back from the owlery and is coming this way. Go, go, go!" She whispered quickly as she shoved them along.
Without another word, 'The Core Six' quickly made their way towards the seventh floor. Luna ended up ushering them into an unused classroom to avoid a curious Ginny, who obviously seemed to be looking for them. After that, they decided to disillusion themselves to avoid any more of that sort of thing.
When they made it to the Room of Requirement, they were the last to arrive, and Luna took off her cloak.
"I'm sorry to be so mysterious everyone. I know most of the time I just come right out and say things so that everyone in the castle knows what is going on, but this is different. I'm worried, to be honest, and that is a strange thing for me. I saw Umbridge writing a letter to Dumbledore." She said and took a deep breath, then she repeated word for word what the letter said. "I'm worried because I feel that Dumbledore may put it all together and come to the conclusion that the resurrection stone is being used."
Harry stared at her in horror, but it was Professor Flitwick who spoke.
"Why didn't you tell us before she sent if off? We could have stopped her."
"I figured that Death could intercept the owl if it is determined that Dumbledore doesn't need to know this."
"She's right, I could. However, I won't." Death replied. "He will figure it out though, but don't worry it will be fine."
"How could Albus realizing this be a good thing?" Harry asked angrily.
"I can't tell you that Harry. All I ask is that you trust me."
"But he already knows about the Hallows! He knows what my cloak is and that Ignotus Peverell first owned it! The Elder Wand disappeared from under his nose, and it won't take a genius to figure out that the stone is being used! He will know that I am the 'Master of Death' and that Death is working with…"
Harry suddenly stopped mid-rant as a thought dawned on him, but then he looked at Death accusingly.
"Are you doing that?" He asked with a scowl, and everyone looked at him with confused glances.
Death nodded. "Yes, I am."
"Well stop it." He grumbled, but then he sighed and began to explain. "A thought just occurred to me. In my future past life, Dumbledore believed the Hallows were made by the Peverell brothers, and not Death himself. To Albus, the 'Master of Death' doesn't mean literal 'Master of Death'." He said, motioning towards the eternal being. "It means you embrace death, and that you know that one day you will die and accept that fate."
Death nodded. "Yes, that is what he told you. Now, let me tell you what he really thinks about the Hallows." He said with a grin. "Albus believes exactly what he told you Voldemort believed, in that the 'Master of Death' becomes immortal. A truly powerful, unstoppable wizard, and bringer of death to those who get in his way. You see Harry, when Dumbledore explained all this to you in your future past life, he was already dying and was angry because of that. He tried to unite the Hallows during your sixth year in order to heal himself, but was unable to get them to work. He actually stole your cloak one night while you were sleeping, but he never used the stone, and that is the key. You have to use them."
Harry looked at Death with wide eyes. "He never used the stone because he was afraid that Arianna was going to tell him that he was the one who killed her."
"That is correct. If you remember, after you died I let you view what would have been the next two years of your life. You would have killed Tom, married Ginny under the ruse of a love potion, and would have been a drunk miserable Auror. Eventually you would have had kids, but it would have been a false love for them due to the love potion. The same thing would have happened to Tom, had Merope not released Tom Sr. from the same potion."
Harry nodded, but then looked at Death curiously. "Wait, but I never used the wand. I was its rightful owner by that time, but I never used it."
"But you would have." Death grinned. "Remember, you used the Elder Wand to repair your holly and phoenix wand. I count that as it being used, not only that, but the wand works differently than the cloak and stone. Anyone can use those, but the wand is a little different. It has to be won, and you won it from Draco."
Harry racked his brain, and did remember that particular scene from Death's timeline viewer.
"I do remember using it, and then I placed it back in Dumbledore's tomb."
"Correct." Death said with a grin. "Now, all of that has been said to say this, what Albus believes about the Hallows is all wrong. Being the 'Master of Death' does not mean being immortal, all powerful, and unstoppable. Being the 'Master of Death' means just that. You are my Master, and you get my help."
"Just like we have been." Tom stated.
"Exactly." Death said with a smug grin. "So who cares if Albus knows you have been using the stone? It's not like he can steal it from you."
Death knows a lot more than he lets on in most cases.
Lily's words came back to Harry so suddenly he almost reeled from the force of them, and he looked up at Death in shock.
"You've had this planned, haven't you? It's been planned for…for…"
"Nearly one thousand years." Death said in a quiet, humble voice. "Yes, yes I have. It all started with those two." He said, pointing to Salazar and Godric. "I didn't plan their friendship, or their son's falling out, but I used it to my advantage. When the Peverell brothers were born in the early 1200's, I knew that I could use them. They had all the right mindsets that I needed. Antioch was mean spirited and violent, so he wanted the wand. Cadmus was prideful and wanted to humiliate and cheat me, so he wanted the stone. Ignotus though, was always humble. He knew it was a trick from the beginning, but requested a way to hide from me, so I gave him part of my cloak." Death said quietly, pointing to a spot in his robes that looked ragged and torn. "I used the Peverell brothers to fuse the two families together. The Gryffindors and the Slytherins, so that one day the two Heirs of the lines could unite and take down one of the most deadly and dark wizards the world has ever seen. I knew that Harry would one day be my Master. I knew that both of you would need my help. I set up your brother wands, and used Fawkes for that very reason. Dumbledore may be the reason why your lives have turned out the way they have, but because of that, I am able to bring you together to defeat him. Dumbledore has caused his own downfall because of his meddling and thirst for fame and glory. I'm just helping you two see that it comes to pass."
"Along with giving us something we have both wanted since we could remember." Tom said quietly.
Death gazed fondly at both Harry and Tom and nodded. "A family," he whispered, "and a second chance for a happy life. It is a duty I take on proudly for the one I call…Master." Death said looking right at Harry. "A man so humble that the very title of 'Master of Death' leaves him uncomfortable. That is a man I am proud to serve."
Death's words hung heavily in the air, and Harry found that his knees had gone weak. He didn't know whether it was the room or McGonagall, but he was thankful for the chair he suddenly found himself sitting in. Tom moved to stand beside his brother, and squeezed his shoulder in support. Neville stood on his other side, and Luna and the twins stood behind him.
"Thank you for your help." Harry said quietly. "I don't know if I deserve it, but I thank you just the same."
"You do deserve my help Harry." Death said with a small smile. "Through you the British wizarding world can make changes, changes for the better. By uniting Gryffindor and Slytherin house, this will now be possible. Those that take Albus's view of muggles are becoming very few and far between, and the ones in Slytherin are beginning to realize just how wrong they have been. You have no idea of the impact that you not only made on Hermione this morning, but everyone else in the great hall. A whole generation of witches and wizards heard what you said about magic. A future Minster for Magic was in the great hall today. A future Head Healer of St. Mungo's was also in there, along with countless future members of the Wizengamot. You could not have picked a better spot to make that kind of declaration, and I, for one, am proud of you."
Harry chuckled. "And here I was trying to be snarky because of Hermione."
"Snarky or not, you got your point across." Death grinned. "The future will not be full of rainbows and unicorns," he said, and received a narrow-eyed glance from Harry. "But it will be better than it is now."
"And only a Gryffindor could lead that kind of charge." Godric said, which caused the whole room to burst out laughing.
"Yes well, thankfully he will have a Slytherin at his side to do the thinking for him." Salazar laughed. "Otherwise we would all be in trouble."
"Indeed." Tom and Snape said together, which made everyone laugh again, and caused Harry and Godric to protest loudly.
"Well lads, I must say that I am quite impressed." Merlin said with a chuckle. "I have a feeling a new age is dawning for witches and wizards all over the world, and I am proud to be here to see it. I am even more proud to know that two of my own descendants are responsible for it."
"It does make one proud, doesn't it old boy?" Death grinned.
Merlin nodded and laughed. "Indeed it does."
With the emotional tension in the room broken, talk turned to more lighthearted subjects. McGonagall wanted to know what kind of horrors the twins had come up with for the upcoming week, but they remained quiet on the subject and just grinned at her.
Luna said she had been observing Ginny for the last few days and said that she had begun making Amortentia in a small unused room in the dungeons. Neville suggested that they let her get it almost completed, since it would take a few more days to brew the love potion, and then have Luna announce it to the whole school. Snape thought it was a good idea, but McGonagall and Sprout did not like the fact that Ginny would be publically humiliated. Surprisingly, it was Godric who agreed with Snape. He said that when it is brought to the school population's attention, that he would then ban the making of love potions at Hogwarts altogether. Merlin, Salazar, and Flitwick agreed with this, and not only for Harry's benefit, but for everyone's. They said love potions take away a person's free will, and it was no better than using the Imperius curse for nefarious purposes. Harry and Tom agreed.
After lunch that same day, Harry and the others were sitting in the common room doing homework and studying. While Harry and Neville found that studying for their O.W.L.s was relatively easy, seeing as they had taken them not too long ago, Tom did not. It had been almost fifty-five years since he had last taken them, and according to Tom, the test material had changed quite a bit.
The twins had also decided to study for their N.E.W.T.s. They may have dropped out in the last timeline, but they had no reason to this time. Besides, they had a bet with McGonagall. If the twins could get at least four N.E.W.T.s each, she would never give a student detention for a prank if they used a Weasley Wizard Wheezes product, as long as no one was physically harmed during the prank. Future Hogwarts pranksters' free time was on the line, and Fred and George weren't going to let them down.
"I never understood why there is so much emphases placed on the written part of the test." Tom grumbled. "The practical I can understand, but the written, I just don't."
"I don't know why you are worried." Harry laughed. "You're the smartest in our year, and you have even managed to unseat Hermione."
Tom glared at him. "That's not the point Harry. Healing magic is complicated and only the smartest make it. You have to have very high marks on your O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to even be considered for the additional training after school. It rivals the extra studying and training for the Aurors."
"Have you been talking to Madam Pomfrey?" Harry asked with a chuckle.
"Yes, I have." Tom nodded. "She is a brilliant Healer and very good at what she does. I respect her very much."
"If I ever get hurt during the course of Auror duty, I hope I don't end up with you as my Healer. You'd kidnap me and hold me hostage in my bed just like she does." Harry laughed.
"Yes I would." Tom smirked. "I can't let 'The-Boy-Who-Lived' die on my watch, now can I?"
Harry threw a balled up piece of parchment at him. "Don't call me that." He grinned.
"Hey Tom, I have a question." Neville whispered, hoping to avoid a parchment war between the two. "Will the curse on the Defense position affect Salazar and Merlin?"
Tom shook his head. "No, because the curse isn't actually on the position itself. It's actually on the classroom. That classroom has been used by Defense Professors long before I even got here the first time. With them being in different rooms, it won't affect them a bit. I knew Albus would never figure it out, so that's why I put it there."
"Ok good." Neville said with a relieved sigh. "Because I like Merlin's classes and want him to stay."
"Me too." Harry, Fred, and George said in unison.
"Attention Hogwarts Residents, Tom Riddle would like me to announce the grand opening of what he calls an indoor swimming pool. This swimming pool is located in the entrance hall. Thank you."
The common room, which had been full of whispering and activity, suddenly became very still and quiet as everyone stared at each other. Then they all abandoned whatever they had been doing and made a mad dash for the portrait door. The corridors and staircases were filled with students who were pushing and shoving each other in their haste to get to the entrance hall, so Harry and the others decided to by-pass all that and fly.
When they reached the entrance hall, Harry stared down at the scene and burst out laughing. Below him, the very large entrance hall had indeed been transformed into an indoor swimming pool. The water was only about four feet deep, but it stayed in the entrance hall instead of flowing into the great hall or out the front doors of the castle as you would expect. The floor of the entrance hall had been changed to blue so that it resembled the bottom of a pool. Muggle air beds, beach balls, children's blow up toys, and floats of all different colors floated on the surface of the clear water. Nagini was coiled up on a brightly colored yellow air bed without a care in the world, but the most ridiculous thing about it all sat in one of the brightly lit corners of the room.
'Voldemort' was sitting in a red and white lifeguard chair that was perched on top of a mini sand dune. He was wearing red lifeguard shorts and a plain white t-shirt with a red whistle around his neck. Above his head was a sign that said:
Lifeguard On Duty
The complete absurdity of the scene sent Harry and the others into another fit of loud laughter. They weren't the only ones though. Students and Professors alike were lined up and down the grand staircase, and they were all laughing loudly at 'Voldemort' who sat there with a large grin on his face as he looked at the assembled students and staff.
He blew his whistle to get everyone's attention, and the sound echoed loudly in the room.
"Good afternoon everyone!" He said in a cheerful voice that made Harry snort loudly. "Welcome to the official opening of Hogwarts's first ever indoor swimming pool! I hope you will enjoy the summertime fun I have been able to provide for you during the upcoming cold winter months! While there is no giant squid to be worried about, there is however, a twelve foot venomous reptile that goes by the name of Nagini, as you can see there." He said with a grin as he pointed at her. "However, she has informed me that she will not attack anyone who mistakes her for a flotation device."
"Except for the toad woman. I eat toads." She said, which caused Harry and Tom to burst out laughing again, and 'Voldemort' to grin.
"Just don't try and drown her and you should be fine." 'Voldemort' added.
"How come we aren't getting wet?" Draco asked loudly, as he and the rest of the Slytherins exited the dungeons that led directly into the entrance hall. They all began wading into the waist deep water and stood in the middle of the room.
"Ah yes, about that." 'Voldemort' said. "The water has several charms on it, and it can detect the difference between normal wizard and muggle clothes, and swim clothes. If you are dressed in anything other than swim clothes you will remain dry. This has been done so that everyone's school books, parchment, cauldrons, quills, inks, and other school items don't become wet and unusable. The water is also charmed so that it doesn't flow into the great hall, the dungeons, or out the front doors." He said, motioning toward each of the doors. "It will however still act like water, so if for some reason you want to swim without getting wet, you can do so in normal clothes."
"I demand you get rid of this absurd inconvenience at ONCE!" A shrill voice screeched loudly.
All of the students and staff groaned and rolled their eyes as the 'esteemed' High Inquisitor finally made her presence known. The students began shuffling around to allow her passage down the stairs, and she stopped and stood on the stairs just above the waterline.
She glared at 'Voldemort' as he calmly gazed back at her. "Did you not hear what I said? I demand you get rid of it! This is a school not a lake or a beach!"
"No, I will not get rid of it." He said calmly. "I have permission from the Headmaster. Besides, I own half of this castle and if I want to turn the entrance hall into an indoor swimming pool, I can. Unless, of course, Harry has any objections." He said looking up at Harry and the others who were still hovering over them.
"Not at all, in fact I think it's a brilliant idea!" He exclaimed loudly, and grinned as Umbridge glared up at him.
"Of course you do!" She said in a clearly irritated voice. "Very well then," she said, taking out her wand. "I'll just get rid of it myself."
"Good luck." Fred muttered, and Harry and the others started snickering.
For almost ten minutes Umbridge tried every possible spell she could think of to get rid of the pool. Everyone just stared at her in amusement as each spell failed more spectacularly than the last. She even tried vanishing the muggle 'floaty things' as she called them, but they too remained, despite her best efforts. Finally, she gave up and glared at 'Voldemort'.
"This is a highly respected school!" She shouted. "What will visitors think when they walk into the castle and find this…this…thing sitting right here!"
'Voldemort' smiled politely at her. "Don't worry, I have placed a sign on the outside of the front doors to let them know about it."
"A sign…a sign." She yelled. "This is the most outrageous and absurd thing I have ever seen in my life! If you don't remove this thing right now I will contact the Ministry and have this school shut down!"
"In case you have forgotten Madam Umbridge," Salazar said loudly, "the Ministry has no authority here at Hogwarts."
Merlin nodded in agreement. "Not only that, but according to The Daily Prophet this morning, your dear Minister Fudge has been placed in Auror custody due to being placed under an imperius curse that was cast by Dumbledore."
"That's right!" Susan Bones shouted from the crowd. "And as Head of the DMLE Aunt Amelia has been named temporary Minster for Magic!"
"So you see Madam Umbridge," Godric said with an amused smirk. "There is no one, other than Albus Dumbledore, that you can complain too."
"It is a conspiracy!" She shouted angrily. "A conspiracy to take over the Ministry!"
"Oh here we go again." Harry muttered, rolling his eyes.
"I will not let you people take over my Ministry! I am going there right now to file a complaint with the Board of Governors for this school, and to rally support to fight for what is right! I will not bow down to the likes you! We will see who winds up the victor here." She shouted, pointing at 'Voldemort'.
Umbridge held her head up high, but instead of going back to her office to floo to the Ministry, she decided to make her way out the front doors and to the gates to apparate. However, when she stepped down into the water, she immediately slipped and fell face first into the pool, and came up soaking wet.
When she regained her footing and stopped coughing up the water she had sucked into her lungs, she glared up at 'Voldemort' accusingly. "I thought you said the water was charmed!" She yelled.
He looked at her with a truly evil grin on his face, as if he had been waiting for this very moment. "Oh didn't I mention it? The charms don't work on amphibians. You see, it has come to my attention that toads actually like the water."
"You will regret this!" She yelled as she waded through the water.
"I doubt it." 'Voldemort' said, but then he gave her an icy glare that made her and whimper in fright. "But if you ever call Lily Potter a mudblood again, I will personally see that you suffer very painfully for it. Do not forget what I am capable of." He said in a deadly tone as he pointed to her forehead. "Now," he said in a much more delightful manner, "go run to the Ministry, or Albus, or wherever it is you need to go." He said, and wandlessly plucked her out of the water, opened the front doors, and literally threw her out of the castle and into the cold November air.
The last thing a shivering Delores Umbridge saw as she got to her feet was the student population laughing at her, and the doors slamming in her face.
As everyone else made their way back to their common rooms, Harry and the others flew over towards 'Voldemort' and sat in the chairs he had just conjured for them. They were still laughing, but Harry looked at him and started to speak. However, 'Voldemort' beat him to it.
"To answer your question Harry…no, she is not gone for good. Not yet."
He and the others groaned at that statement, but then the twins grinned. "Good because we have a few lovely pranks that we would still like to play on her." Fred said.
'Voldemort' laughed. "I know." He said with a grin.
"Ok, big question. Why a pool, and why in the entrance hall?" Tom asked.
"Well first of all, why not?" He asked with a shrug. "And as for it being in the entrance hall, Umbridge will have to walk through it multiple times a day, just like the swamp in her classroom. Godric has already asked the elves to refuse to take meals to her, so she either swims to the great hall, or she starves. I admit that the pool is in a very inconvenient place, but that is why I have taken the precautions I have. It will be funny to see her struggling with the swamp and then this." He laughed. "Besides, I got the idea from you two." He said pointing to the twins. "You were going to release a swamp here before Dumbledore left."
"That is true, we were." George laughed. "We were also going to put one right in front of the entrance to the Headmaster's office and the second floor corridor."
"Yeah I know, and I also know that my masterpiece isn't very deep." 'Voldemort' laughed. "But you have to remember that the average first year is around four and a half feet tall and not all of them know how to swim. The shortest first year is actually shorter than four feet, but he knows how, and loves, to swim, so he won't have any problems."
"Are the charms you mentioned even real?" Harry asked with a grin.
"Some of them." Death admitted with a chuckle. "The charm that keeps the water in place is real, and so is the heating charm I placed on it. As for the rest, well that is just me doing what I do best, simply making it work because I can." He said with a flourish.
"And the Lifeguard gear?" Tom asked with a chuckle.
"Irony." 'Voldemort' said simply, and caused them all to burst out laughing again.
"Well, I don't know about you guys," Harry said while taking off his shirt and transfiguring his jeans into swimming shorts. "But I'm going for a swim. Who's with me?"
They all agreed and began following his lead. Nagini slid off her air bed, and decided to sneak up on them, and drag them under the water when they weren't paying attention to her. Not long after they began playing around, they were joined by lots of people from all the houses. Needless to say, everyone had a blast.