Chapter 8: Cold Turkey
It was like she was burning from the inside out. Like her very soul was on fire, but maybe, that was it. After all this time of having kept it tightly under lock and key, it was finally free. He had released it and left her alone to fight the rabid monster inside of her. If she had her way she would of let it consume her, but it wasn't that simple, she needed him there to help her. She couldn't just go out on her own, it just wasn't the same but the monster was roaring and it was tearing her apart.
It had been 7 days since the last time she had seen him, he had dropped her off with a promise to see her soon, she had taken time off of work and so now she didn't even have that to keep her mind off of her growing urges.
She felt like a caged tiger as she stared at the walls of her small apartment her willpower to not murder the entire apartment building was wearing thin as her frustrations grew. She had taken to talking to herself, it was strange how quickly her madness had taken over, as soon as she allowed it just an inch of wiggle room. Monsters are not made but rather born, from an event in their lives, some of the lucky few will be able to hold off the monster well into their adult years but inevitably it would break free and take over, and when it does you better take cover. This is what had happened to Scarlett. She wondered how long it would have taken on her own had she not met the Joker, but she felt he had somewhat sped up the process. Though she wasn't mad at him for it, she could never be mad at him.
"Its been 7 days" she said again for the fourteenth time that day.
"I must have done something wrong, maybe I said something stupid," she said to herself as she slumped on the sofa.
"Maybe there is another person, another girl, well I'm not his girlfriend so he's entitled to see someone else. Oh GOD! Where is he!" she pulled herself off the sofa and began to pace again. It was something animals did when caged and just like them, Scarlett felt her mind was somewhat soothed by it. But it never soothed her for long enough, she was a complete wreck.
She had almost killed the delivery guy that morning when he turned up with a parcel. She kept getting her 'costume' on before taking it off again, putting on her make-up before scrubbing her face, she had eaten her nails to stubs so her fingers were now sore, but none of it seemed to matter, the only thing that went through her mind of every second of every day was him. She needed him more than she needed air, of that she was convinced. She could hear his voice in her head, hear his laugh, see his smile, even smell him. She had barely slept a wink, convinced at any point he would fly through the door, and they would be off again, together. She listened to every noise as though convinced she could hear his laugh but it never was and that sent her over the edge even more.
She was a wreck both physically and mentally her, black hair had lost its healthy shine and she hadn't washed it in days, preferring to pull it back from her face in a greasy ponytail. Her skin had developed a strange tinge of grey to it from her lack of eating and sleeping and her eyes seem sunken and black.
"Why isn't he here yet?" she asked her cat as she crawled onto the sofa towards the animal who scuttled away in protest.
"I just need something to stop me thinking, I just need to stop thinking just for a little while," she told her self as she rubbed her face with her hands. If she could just stop her thoughts for a little while she would be able to sleep and maybe she would stop loving him. If that was what this was. Though she had convinced her self-hours ago, that that was exactly what this was. She was in love and it was tearing her to pieces. She needed him, she craved him but he wasn't here and she was not sure he would ever come back, so she needed something to take away the pain. Something to stop her thinking and take away the pain.
"Stop thinking," she told her self but it was of no used and she replayed the last time they were together over and over in her head, glorifying it and him more with each passing minute.
"Painkiller, if I could just get rid of the pain for a little while, just for a little while and I'll be okay. I need, I need... drugs" she said and the confession seemed to engage a gear in her head. She was a nurse and had been for a while, she had access to the cabinet at work, if she could sneak in she could get all she wanted. She had never taken drugs before, but morphine sounded like bliss as she pulled at a piece of skin on her index finger with her teeth.
Without a second thought she pulled on her hoodie grabbed her keys and headed out, she got to the hospital quickly and quietly let herself into the staff entrance. Even this was not enough to get her excited anymore, she had tasted perfection and now she needed more, but she was being denied so she would numb herself instead.
She crept into the area, she knew the cabinet was and peered around no one was near. She hurried over, she unlocked the cabinet with the key she had and quickly pulled a bottle of morphine and a bag of syringes from the cabinet before stuffing them into her pockets and shutting and locking the cabinet again, her hood still up she crept back through the hospital and out of the main entrance. Relief was only a little bit away and she could almost taste it.
She got home quickly and threw herself onto the sofa, she stared at the little bottle of fluid before she grabbed a syringe and removed the cap. Expertly she turned the bottle upside down with the needle now inside, she pulled the plunger down before pulling the syringe from the bottle. She tapped the side of the syringe before squeezing out any air. Using her phone charging cable as a tourniquet, holding one end in her mouth and the other with her hand, she found the vein and held the needle over it. She was fully aware of what she was doing, and for a second she paused. Somewhere in the back of her mind she heard his laugh, and in that second she plunged the needle into her vein and emptied the syringe. Her arm went slack and the wire slipped to the floor. She pulled the needle out and threw it to the floor.
It didn't take long for the drug to take effect and soon sweet relief was her's. She floated away to a happy place where The Joker and she would blow up buildings and maybe even kill the Batman, but they were together and she was happy.
That didn't last long and soon she was nowhere at all, simply floating free of the world and her thoughts and like that she stayed.
When he entered the apartment he didn't see her at first, but then he spotted a slack arm hanging over the edge of the sofa.
"Jester?" he said cautious, and for the first time that he could remember he felt true panic, she was dead.
He rounded the corner of the partition wall that separated the living room and the rest of the front room of her apartment. Her eyes were shut and she was smiling but she was definitely breathing.
"Who broke my Jester?!" he asked out loud looking for someone unseen.
He spotted the needle on the floor and picked it up with his gloved hand.
"Jester?" he said but still the girl did not respond.
"Scarlett," he said finally and one of her eyes cracked open.
"J!" she said happily but her voice was quiet and seemed weak before her eyes slipped shut again, the smile still on her face. He watched her curiously for a moment.
"What have you taken?" he asked and opened her eyes again.
"Relief," she said simply and he decided he was not getting very far, he put the needle on the side, before heading back over to a very high Jester. He pulled her so she was sitting up and she opened her eyes to look at him and she smiled.
"What have you taken?" he said again his voice darker this time, he didn't have time for this if he wanted a useless druggie he could have got one of those from anywhere.
"Morphine from the hospital," she said motioning with her hand weakly, her wrist slack.
"Why?" he asked and she grimaced at his voice.
"Because of you!" she said and a sob escaped her. "I tried I really did, but trying just made it worse" she cried and she tried to lay back down but he held her tightly by her shoulders.
"Trying what?" he asked as he tried not to laugh at this ridiculous woman.
"Trying not to love you," she said and he immediately let her go. He took a step back and she slid back down to lie on the sofa. No one had ever said that to him before. No-one, not a living soul. He watched as she slumped back into the sofa and a sob overtook her again.
"You love me?" he said not really asking her but rather saying it out loud the words seemed like a lie, but the woman in front of him merely nodded and he took a heavy seat on the seat next to her feet. He stared at the wall opposite for what seemed like hours, his mind doing backflips as he tried to comprehend what she had just admitted.
"I just wanted something to make the pain go away, I'm sorry. I just needed you but you weren't here" she said and he turned to look at her, her eyes were sobbing but she seemed content.
He stood and moved closer to her so he was sitting on the long part of her L-shaped sofa, her head lying next to him.
"I won't leave you again Jester," he said clearly and she smiled fully at him.
He let her sleep off the rest of the drugs after that and even allowed her to snuggle up to his side. Most strange of all he seemed to enjoy her closeness.
Around 7 pm Scarlett finally came to, she stretched her arms out and they collided with something warm and solid. She opened her eyes and The Joker was looking down at her, smirking slightly. So the strange dream about him turning up hadn't been a dream at all, and she had admitted her love. She shut her eyes in embarrassment and grimaced slightly at the hazy memory.
"Feeling better," he said and a cackle escaped his lips. She only nodded in response as she sat herself up and rubbed her face, though she felt embarrassment over admitting her love to him. She felt no shame about her actions they had seemed to have relieved some of her anxiety, but then again he was with her again. So that was all a forgotten memory now.
"Good, go and get ready, we are gonna catch ourselves a Bat. The Mob has hired me and agreed to my payment of half and all I have to do is kill The Batman" he said laughing and she turned to him and grinned. She hurried out of the room and readied herself quickly. She went to pull on her Jester hat before she shook her head and threw the ridiculous thing on the floor. Quickly she pulled two pairs of green and purple ribbons from her drawer and pulled two sets of bells from her hat she threaded the bell with the ribbons before tying the ribbons into her hair, pleased with her updated look, she made her way back to Joker.
"Do you have a video camera?" his voice called as she pulled on her boots.
"Err yeah, in the closet in the hall," she said and she heard him push the sliding door to the closet open.
She came out fully Jester in just under 15 minutes and he stood to greet her. He held his arm out to her and a like a girl on her first date she giggle and linked his arm.
Baiting The Bat was not as hard as she thought it would be. They had a fake meeting in a deserted multi-storey car park, with a guy The Joker called Scarecrow, but when more than one Batman turned up she was more than a little confused. She stood with The Joker, he was clearly keeping her closer than before. He laughed wildly as he shot the first Bat but the fake batman kept coming, but as he approached further Jester threw out a kick, hitting the bat hard in the chest and throwing him onto his back. She ran at him her heart pounding in her ribcage and pushed the heel of her boots into the bats exposed neck. He wiggled and thrashed under her weight but he was far less powerful than the real Bat and so easy to hold down. She stayed there until his face went blue and limbs went slack. She laughed wildly and jumped up and down on the man she had just killed while The Jokers men captured the other batman, knocked him out and threw him into the back of the van. The Joker laughed his cackle like laugh before he called her away and like the loyal pet she had become she went to him without question. He threw a bundle of cash at Scarecrow before he jumped into their van and Jester followed.
"To kill a Bat, you gotta catch one first," The Joker said as he caught her looking confused at the man in the back of the van in the hockey pads and cheap Batman mask.
They drove to a local slaughter house and Jester felt almost nervous as they pulled the unconscious body of the fake Batman into the building. It was cold and slightly damp inside and The Jokers men left the room soon after they had all arrived, leaving The Joker, Jester and the fake bat alone. Jester helped pull the fake bat into a chair and tied him to it. She laughed madly as their hostage began to wake. She set up the camera as Joker had asked her to, switched on the big strip lights, that lit up the room with a cold white hue. They were in the hanging-room where carcasses of animals were hung out after slaughter there were bloody drips on the floor and the whole place smelled like death.
For a while, The Joker and Jester beat the fake bat but The Joker got bored soon and took the camera from her as she sat her self on the metal steps that came down into the cold room they were in.
"Right Bat we are gonna make a little home movie for the news channel," said The Joker to the badly beaten man in the chair who made no response as his head slumped forward onto his chest, his nose bleeding.
The Joker pressed record on the camera holding it up to film the man on the chair in front of him.
"Tell them your name," he said his voice light and childish.
"Brian Douglas," said the man, Jester knew he was answering out of fear for what the clown in front of him would do.
The Joker giggled slightly as he readjusted the camera in his grip.
"And are you the real Batman?" he asked giggling still and Scarlett stifled a laugh as the joy inside her built up as she watched on.
"No," said Brian his head still hazy from the beating he had received moments before.
"No, No?" the Joker giggled wildly.
"Then why do you dress up like him?" he demanded his voice becoming louder as he pulled off Brian's mask, to reveal the face of a man in his late forties, beaten and bruised.
The Joker held the mask in front of the camera holding it by its ear and shook it around.
"Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" he giggled wildly.
"Because he's a symbol that we don't have to be afraid of scum like you," said Brian, though his words were brave he still did not look up at his captor.
"Yeah." The Joker cooed at him.
"You do, Brian. You really do" The Joker assured him, his voice becoming dark as he spoke, he gripped Brian's face with his gloved hand and threw the man's head about violently.
"Huh? Yeah," he said as Brian began to whimper.
"Oh, Shh, shh, shh." he cooed again as he ran the back of his hand down Brian's face, and Jester giggled slightly.
"So you think Batman's made Gotham a better place? Hm?" The Joker asked the man slapping him lightly on the face as he spoke before he took a few steps back to better capture the shot of Brian.
"Look at me." said The Joker but Brian made no effort to look up.
"LOOK AT ME!" the Joker Barked his voice so loud and deep, it shook Jester off her seat and she stared at the fire in his eyes, the monster in him was roaring now too and it seemed to work as the fake bat's eyes moved up to meet The Jokers.
The Joker readjusted the camera again before turning it on himself holding it above him slightly.
"You see, this is how crazy Batman's made Gotham," said Joker looking straight into the lens of the camera.
"You want order in Gotham..." he began to move around the room slightly as he lowered the camera.
"Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesn't people will die" said Joker as he stopped moving and moved the camera ever closer to his face.
"Starting tonight."
"I'm a man of my word," he growled before his cackled filled the room and he dropped the camera and leapt at Brian his knife out. Almost immediately he began to cut up Brian's face, making slits in the corners of Brian's mouth. The fake bat screamed and the Joker and the Jester laughed. Jester snatched up the camera and stopped the recording. As she watched the Joker tipped the chair over and began to kick Brian repeatedly in the stomach over and over, to anyone else it would have been too much to bear witness to. As Brian screamed the slits in the corners of his mouth slip up his face branding him with the Glasgow smile The Joker was known for. To Jester though it was like a beautiful ballet and she watched on in awe. Another ounce of her sanity slipping away forever.
After that The Joker killed him and 'the boys' were called back in. He took a safety pin and a Joker card from his jacket pocket and pinned it to the armoured vest of the corpse, before he painted the body's bloody face white and his lips and new Glasgow smile red, before slipping his Batman mask back on.
"Tomorrow morning I want the Mayor to know, just what has happened make sure he is found," The Joker said turning to his men and motioning to the corpse on the floor.
The pair left the 'boys' to it at the slaughter house, smiles on their faces and a blush on the Jester's cheeks as The Joker's arm snaked around her waist, pulling her close to his side.