Thank you, wiseyetharmless, Missdellusion, and BubbleFettTea, for so faithfully reviewing the chapters and letting me know what you think. theboringdolphin, don't worry, I plan to keep writing this story until it's finished. There's quite a bit ahead I already have planned out. :3
This chapter introduces ... an OC, kinda? Yeah, uh, you'll see.
Thank you all so much. I love writing, and I love you guys.
Chapter 16
Eddward arrived home to a sticky note on the outside of his door.
EDDWARD,
WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU. CONGRATULATIONS ON ANOTHER IMMENSELY
SUCCESSFUL SCHOOL YEAR.
HAVE FUN WITH YOUR FRIENDS!
- MOTHER AND FATHER
A smile spread across his face as he peeled it from the wood grain. The ravenette found himself humming again as he gathered pajamas and an extra pair of clothing.
The brilliant boy had just put his keys and his travel-sized toothbrush in the smallest compartment of his bag when a bellow only Ed could make exploded from outside.
Moving as quickly as a grossly unathletic teenager could, Double Dee burst out of the house to see Eddy doing exactly the same on his doorstep across the street. The short male cupped his hands to his mouth and shrieked: "WHAT'S GOING ON?"
The pair met at Ed's front door. Double Dee had just grasped the handle when the door flew open, sending the teen and his bag of supplies toppling backwards. Only after the genius had scrambled to his feet (and Eddy had angrily plugged his ears with his fingertips) did their smelly friend stop yelling.
"Ed! What the heck is it?" Eddy rubbed his plugging-fingers on his jeans. Double Dee cringed involuntarily.
"MOM GOT ME A FRIEND!"
Bouncing from foot to foot, the tallest of the Eds thrust out his arms. Eddy gave a short scream and leapt behind the genius. "Is that a rat?!"
"Why, Eddy!" Double Dee clapped his hands together, stepping forward to inspect the object held gingerly in Ed's hands. "It's a European polecat!"
"A what now?"
"A ferret, Eddy!"
As the smartest of the trio came to stand before his tall friend, Ed brought the wriggling mass of white fur back to nuzzle it. The creature's back feet scrabbled and came to rest on his shirt, blinking and sniffing its keeper's ear. Ed grinned brightly and giggled. "My parents thought I needed a pet of my own so I don't take Rolf's chickens so much," he explained, letting the ferret scramble up to lie on his shoulders. "Her name is Gretchen."
"Oh, Ed, she's marvelous!" Eddward bounced once in place, gazing at the creature's bright eyes.
"A rodent is a step up from a chicken now?"
The genius turned to face his short friend, still standing on the sidewalk with his arms crossed skeptically. "Oh, come now, Eddy. Ferrets aren't rodents; they're closely related to weasels. They were bred to hunt rabbits." As if on cue, Gretchen's tail swished and she ducked her nose to slide down into Ed's arms. He laughed again softly, pressing his cheek to her pale fur.
"Whatever," the shortest of the Eds muttered, fidgeting when his companions entered the house without him. "I'm not sleepin' near it."
-x-
The sky darkened slowly, replacing the beams of light spilling in with a sparse glitter of stars. Eddward situated himself between his friends on his sleeping bag (after covering six square feet of Ed's carpet with a light mist of antimicrobial spray.) Eddy brought a gargantuan bag of cheese puffs and Ed's parents had rewarded him for finishing the school year with three 24-packs of soda, and the three took turns playing a terrifying game about a woman who had awakened in a bizarre, nightmarish world. When a humanoid monster burst through a doorway the first time, Eddy's scream was so high-pitched that Double Dee's ears rang for half an hour.
"Christ, Ed, how do you sleep at night?" Eddy paused the game, setting down the controller and wiping his clammy hands on his jeans before looking around. "Where is he?"
Covering his grin with one hand, Edd pointed with the other. Eddy craned to look over his shoulder in time to see a white streak sprinting under the bed, Ed scrambling after it. There was a scratching sound followed by a chuckle. A ball of foil rolled out, coming to a stop when it hit Double Dee's sleeping bag, followed by the sound of papers flying and the ferret dashing out from under the other side. Ed emerged soon after, having considerably more trouble fitting out from under the bed frame. Gretchen darted toward the tall boy, tail lashing like a cat's when Ed howled in mock-terror and waved his hands at her. Eddward giggled despite himself when the furry creature hopped back in alarm and darted into the closet.
"Thing's creepy," Eddy muttered under his breath.
"Well, I'm sure you'll get used to her. I think she's wonderful. Now, shall I try this basement level?"
When the raven-haired male held out a hand for the controller and it never arrived, he blinked at his best friend. Eddy was staring at him, eyes narrowed.
"Eddy? May I-"
"You're a drag queen, aren't you?!"
"I … what?"
"Double Dee, just tell me what's going on! You know you're terrible at keeping secrets."
"I beg to differ." The genius crossed his arms, raising his voice when the clothes hangers in the closet clattered together. "Did you at any point anticipate your surprise party I planned last year?"
"The refreshments were orange juice and celery sticks!"
"Well that's hardly relevant."
When something tapped Eddward's foot, he looked down to see a long lump moving under his sleeping bag. A distinctly nose-shaped point shot upward, slithered alongside the smart boy's leg, and poked upward once more. Eddy blinked at the lump, then turned a skeptical gaze to the genius. "I believe it's called 'snorkeling,'" Edd said quietly.
Tossing the controller into Double Dee's lap, Eddy turned his gaze away. He muttered something unintelligible (Double Dee's best guess was 'your face is snorkeling.')
"Jonny was at school today, guys." Ed rolled across the carpet until he was smiling up at Eddy. "What a trooper … oh, oh! That reminds me, Eddy! I know Double Dee's secret. He's such a stinker."
Eddy's eyes widened. "Wait, what?"
"That's preposterous, Ed," sputtered the genius, arms rising defensively as his heart leapt to his throat.
"He was struck by lightning and was bestowed control of the weather! When he discovered Jonny and Plank's plot to turn all ice cream into broccoli, he blew their house to smithereens." Accompanying this explanation was a violent flailing of limbs and a series of mouth-made whooshy sounds. Eddy heaved a sigh and fell back onto the carpet.
"Honestly, Ed, that isn't funny." Eddward crossed his arms, his panic turning into annoyance. "Their entire family has to relocate for heaven-knows-how-long. And if I had control of the weather, I certainly wouldn't use it to threaten the lives of innocent people."
The yellowish male narrowed his eyes, his unibrow drawing downward. "Whatever you say, Weatherman."
A second passed in which the short boy and the brilliant boy stared at their friend in confusion. Eddy let out a shriek of laughter and covered his eyes with one hand.
"Ed," the ravenette finally admonished, voice cracking as he struggled to speak over his cackling friend, "That's the worst superhero name ever."
The yellowish boy pouted, crossing his arms as the ferret leapt over his legs. "Nuh uh."
"Gentlemen, please. Let's get through this basement segment, yes?"
When Ed reluctantly agreed, taking the controller from his cerebral friend and proceeding to complete half the game upside-down, the three settled into a relative calm, the interrogation of Double Dee forgotten. When the main character turned around during a cutscene to reveal a gargantuan monster with a gaping, bloody mouth creeping up on him, Eddy screamed and farted simultaneously. Even Double Dee laughed until tears streamed down his face (though afterward, he sprayed a puff of air freshener in his best friend's direction.) At around one in the morning, all of the soda that wasn't upstairs (and therefore unattainable) had been consumed and Ed was flashing a horrifying amount of Oreo crumbs every time he grinned. Double Dee excused himself to wash his face and brush his teeth, ignoring Eddy's teasing, and when he had returned, the loudmouthed male was flipping through infomercials and Ed was in a giant wad of blankets. Gretchen was nestled up beside him, complacent as he scratched between her ears, and when Eddward sat down on his puffy sleeping bag, she watched him out of the corner of her eye and heaved a disinterested sigh.
Only after Eddy had let his eyes slip shut and Ed was snoring did Eddward remember the envelope he'd found with his books hours before.
Setting down the book on insect migration he'd recently started, the genius padded quietly to where his bag was propped up near the doorway. Using the dim light of the television, he located the letter and extracted it. He peeled the envelope open and stuck it in his bag before settling back in next to his friends, angling the paper so he could read the twelve-point font.
Mr. Vincent,
After a thorough examination of your anticipated lesson plans and personal experience in leadership roles, I have elected to approve your petition to administer a summer course on cultivating good study habits. As discussed, I shall require a weekly phone call outlining covered material and how participants are progressing.
Have a wonderful summer.
Sincerely,
Craig Hartford
It took Eddward an additional fifteen minutes to fall asleep because he couldn't stop smiling.