On Friday afternoon, Leia calls Rey and Finn, as the two new employees, in for a meeting "just to check in and see how everything is going."
"She's so hands-on," Finn whispers to Rey. "I never even met the higher-ups at FO Tech. I mean I saw Hux once."
"Unkar was too hands-on," Rey hisses. "Micro-managing everything. She's like—the perfect mix. I love her," Rey decides. She loves her new job, where people actually smile and don't look at her like an annoying pest. Not that she's actually done much yet—but she's learning, and she loves that.
Kylo texted her the night before to ask how her job was going, and she responded by saying how much she loved it and her new apartment. He never texted back. Rey scowls.
"You can go in," Threepio, one of the supervisors, announces.
"How's Han?" Rey asks as she takes a seat.
Leia smiles, but there's something in her eyes, something dark and sad. Rey knows the feeling, because she sees it in her own eyes every time she looks in a mirror. "He's fine. Recovering well. How are you liking it here?"
Rey lets Finn answer as she glances at something on Leia's desk. A photograph of a man. The man. The monk-like one.
Why is everyone I meet connected to this person? "How do you know him?" Rey blurts out, interrupting Finn. Oh shit.
Leia's eyebrows rise as she looks at the paper Rey's pointing to. "How do you?"
"He got coffee with Poe." Poe must be how Leia knows him, Rey realizes, heat flooding her cheeks. "At Niima Coffee Post."
"Lor San Tekka is an old friend of my family's," Leia informs her. "He does collaborate with Poe at times, but no, before you ask, he does not work here himself." She straightens. "He's a PI, and he's looking for my brother."
Rey decides it wouldn't be polite to ask why Leia's brother has to be found, but Finn comes up with a way around that for her.
"Luke Skywalker?" Finn says in awe. "I've heard of him."
"Who's Luke Skywalker?" Rey asks.
"My twin brother," Leia answers with a smile.
"He's a famous agent," Finn informs her. "Or he was."
"Oh." Rey frowns. "Another man came into the coffee shop looking for this Lor San Tekka, after he left."
Leia sighs as she turns around one of the photo frames on her desk. "This man?"
The photo might not be of a man, but Rey can clearly tell who it is. A boy of maybe fourteen towers above Leia, his arm wrapped around her and a childish grin on his face.
Kylo fucking Ren? Rey nods. "Mm. Um—yeah. That man."
Leia shakes her head and purses her lips as if the news doesn't shock her, but still hurts, like a blow she knew was coming.
"I threw coffee in his face," Rey offers.
"He's my son."
"It wasn't hot," Rey clarifies.
"Ben lived with Luke for awhile." Leia leans back. "I'm not surprised he's looking for him."
Rey glances at Finn, who clearly doesn't recognize who this Ben is. Ben Organa? Ben Solo? Who knows?
He knew I was interviewing with his mother!
And the twerp didn't say anything?
What happened? Rey wonders as Han's words from the day she met him, the day she met Kylo and Finn and Poe and all of them, echo in her memory: estranged family member… you could say that.
He beat up his own father?
Rey's stomach rollicks back and forth inside her. She'd like to hurl.
Finn somehow ends their session with a smile, and as they leave the building, he takes her hand. "You okay?"
"Don't hold my hand!" she snaps, yanking it away.
Finn steps back, ashen in the dusky light. "I'm sorry—I didn't mean it in that way—I was just—you're upset."
"Ben—that man," she manages, looking into Finn's dark eyes and realizing that she trusts him not because she knows she can but because she wants to. "Is Kylo Ren."
"Well done, Kylo Ren," Snoke says as he studies him. Kylo fights the urge to fidget in his chair like a middle schooler.
Focus on what you've earned. Snoke's regard. He knows you're loyal now. Hux will never measure up. Kylo's had to prove himself, instead of being born the son of one of Snoke's original lackeys.
At least now he knows his father will never come looking for him again.
And at that thought, Kylo's heart pounds as if it wants to impale itself on his ribs.
You should be in jail.
Kylo tightens his fists as Snoke glances to his computer. "How is the search coming?"
"I found the name of the man Lor San Tekka met with. Poe Dameron. I'll try to track him down as soon as possible."
"Good." Snoke exhales. "But, I should inform you, there's a different priority for today."
"I thought finding Skywalker was the highest priority."
"Not today." Snoke presses his fingertips together. "Today, I'm going to need you and Hux to work together on a little project on the side."
"Hux," Kylo states. I am going to prison. Of a different sort.
Because it's not just Hux's personality that makes Kylo want to stay the hell away from that man. No, it's the fact that Hux's job details are slightly different than Kylo's own.
"You can go," Snoke dismisses him. "I'll email the two of you and try to arrange a time where we can go over your project."
Kylo nods and leaves, marching over to Hux's office. "I hear we're working together."
"Indeed." Hux glowers at him. "Apparently you've proved yourself."
Hux's former threats swirl around him, contrasting with the sharp daggers of distaste jabbing in his tone. Hux lifts his chin as if to express his superiority: I never did that to my father.
You never had to, Kylo thinks. And how dare Hux judge him when he insisted Kylo had to do it? Did he really think Kylo wasn't capable of it?
He steps closer, towering over Hux. "Don't ever talk to me like that again." Like I'm beneath you.
"Careful, Ren," Hux purrs. "Snoke's not going to be happy if we push each other out of these windows."
If you tell me to be careful one more freaking time… "What is this project?" Kylo demands.
"We've got a new buyer interested in buying our… supplies. Various supplies. We just need to negotiate a good price."
"Why do I need to be involved?" Kylo turns towards the windows. He imagines himself jumping, plummeting towards the streets below, splattering on the pavement. The pain might be intense, but it would only last seconds. He'd be a human bomb.
"Because if you hope to take over the company, as clearly you do, you're going to have to manage something besides just straight-edge buying and selling." Hux comes up behind him, and Kylo tenses.
"Who's the buyer?"
"Have you heard of the Starkiller group?"
Clouds roll in, shapes twisting and slithering through the haze. Kylo would rather fly into one of them than fall. He flexes his arms as if stretching, but really he's imagining himself flying.
"Hold your arms out. Shut your eyes," Dad told him at seven as he positioned Ben at the front of a boat. "You're flying! You're the king of the world!"
"They've killed a lot of people," Kylo says.
"And everyone else we've been selling to hasn't?" Hux snorts and sidles into Kylo's vision. "If they pay, we don't ask questions."
"To be honest, Rey, I thought you knew. I mean, I don't think the guy's an upstanding citizen, but I thought he would've told you about his parents." Poe lifts his leg onto the couch and winces.
"Well, he didn't," Rey snaps.
"I can't believe he ordered his own father beaten," Finn mutters. "Why?"
"Han's got a reputation as a sneaky freelancer. And I mean sneaky in the best way," Poe adds. "FO Tech's been rumored to be involved in a lot of bad shit for years now. The news reports you've been seeing lately are just the tip of the iceberg. Han's trying to investigate and blow them completely out of operation. 'Cept, I think he was kinda startled to find out his son was working for them."
"What happened? Between Han and Leia and their son?" Rey demands.
Poe holds his hands up and spreads his fingers. "I have no idea."
"Well, I'm gonna call him. Sorry if it gets loud." Rey storms towards her room.
"Are you sure that's a good—" Finn starts, but Rey slams the door.
She dials and waits. One ring. Two.
"Rey?"
Rey sits cross-legged on the bed Finn loaned her money for. "Hi, Kylo. I'm just calling to check in. And also to check as to whether I should be calling you Kylo or Ben, because I'm really not sure."
His voice slices through the phone, angry and cornered. "Did you tell my mother?"
"That I know you? Oh, yeah." She snorts. "I told her I threw coffee in your face."
"She was probably glad."
"Not hardly." Rey frowns. "I didn't tell her you're my friend, though. Or that you helped me."
"I'm your friend?" Now he sounds shocked.
"Well, I thought so."
"I—"
"You hurt your father." And I don't see how someone who takes in a homeless girl, a girl who's legit thrown coffee in your face, can turn around and have his father beaten up. Although when she considers where he works, it all makes sense. Well, some of it. A few puzzle pieces fit.
"So you know about that, too."
Rey almost chokes on nothing but air. "You don't even have the decency to deny it?"
"I have reasons, Rey."
"Like that you don't want your dad exposing that you're part of a criminal organization?"
"FO Tech is not a criminal organization, Rey. We're necessary. We help governments get rid of… bad guys."
"If that's what you tell yourself. You should—you're a monster."
"No!" He gasps, and it sounds almost like he's crying. "I'm not—I mean, if I didn't—Snoke would have—he told me to—"
She snorts. "You're what, thirty?"
"Twenty-nine."
"Still. You're a grown-ass man, Kylo Ren. Ben Solo. And you ordered your father beaten—"
"I ordered him kicked out by security."
"You knew what would happen, though."
He doesn't deny it.
Rey lies back on the bed. "Why are you so interested in finding your uncle? I know about Lor San Tekka, too."
"I'm sorry, Rey. I can't answer that."
"Are you going to murder him?"
"No! I'm not a murderer!"
"Please look at your employer and tell me that with a straight face," Rey says, a lump throbbing in her throat.
He swears, and she expects him to hang up on her. But he doesn't. "Was my father—I mean, was Han Solo—is he okay?"
"A little bruised and I think his nose is broken, if the black eyes are anything to go by. But he's okay."
"You actually saw him?"
Rey traces the windowsill. "He visits your mother every afternoon. Aren't they divorced?"
"I think so."
"You," Rey says. "Are the worst son ever."
"I know that, Rey! That's why they have no son anymore. I'm as good as dead to them."
Rey's heart aches as she thinks about her mother, her father. Do they ever wonder about Rey? Is Rey dead to them? "What if you're wrong about that?"
"I'm not." But it's a plea, not a statement.
"I just don't understand why you would do something so evil," Rey says, tears worming their way out of her eyes. I almost had a crush on you.
"Because I'm—I can't—I have to—"
She doesn't understand why he's still trying to gasp out an excuse. "You're what, scared?"
Now he hangs up.
Oh my God, Rey thinks, staring at her phone. He's scared.
"Rey?" Finn knocks on the door.
"One moment!" she hollers, wiping at her eyes.
Kylo doubles over in his room. He wishes he could make himself throw up, wishes for the guts to take a knife and slash his wrists. She hates him. As she should. But he's been nothing but kind to her.
What does it matter? You hurt your own father. You're the worst kind of monster.
He's not my father anymore.
Oh, but he is. Ben Solo isn't gone. He never will be.
"What's your name, kid?"
"Ben Solo," he stammers, fifteen and confused as to why this CEO is visiting his school, is talking to him instead of everyone else in this class.
"Han and Leia's son?"
"Ha!" taunts one of his classmates, who never stop giving him grief for his famous mother. One time Ben punched one of them and they laughed at him, told him his mother wouldn't like that, peace-activist that she is.
"Write your name on the list," Snoke invited him. A list to signal interest in FO Tech's scholarship program.
"Why would he do that?" scoffed another classmate. "He's not even smart."
It's true: Ben gets average grades at best. He gets the worst grades in geometry, not because he doesn't understand the material, but because he's sick of making people proud. He's sick of the undercurrents to every declaration of pride in his abilities: you better always live up to this moment.
"That," Snoke retorts. "I doubt. His mother is brilliant."
Ben's jaw drops. He can't believe the president of FO Tech, the company his mother always demonizes, just praised her.
He signs his name, writes his email.
Two weeks later, as Ben takes refuge in his room, hiding from his uncle's inevitable frustration that the school called to say Ben got into another shouting match with his geometry teacher, Snoke's name pops into his inbox.
There was a familiarity then, a paternal tone to Snoke's voice in their phone calls and an encouraging tone in his emails that shone in comparison to his uncle's constant rules and the tense late night conversations Ben overheard between Luke and his parents.
Although, that supportive tone has mostly dissipated from Snoke's interactions with him nowadays. Every meeting, every email, is about business, about what Kylo needs to do, and he's winded and not sure he can climb any higher.
Starkiller group… can he really sell to them? Knowing that it will destroy the very people his mother works with?
You're already dead to them.
He's cast his lots, he's crossed the bridge and bashed it down, and he can't go back.
He should be thrilled. Instead, all he can focus on is the raw horror and disgust he heard in Rey's voice.
When he saw her on that bench, all he really thought of was helping some random person in trouble. And then when he recognized her, he still just wanted to help her. And now she hates him, and Kylo wishes he could go back, scrub what he did to Han Solo.
You can't.
Kylo dials Rey's number. It rings and rings until her answering machine picks up. Which is what he expected.
"Hi, this is Rey. I'm busy right now, but I'll get back to you when I can!" She giggles and a beep interrupts the recording.
Kylo hesitates. Speak, man! "Hi, Rey. It's me. It's Kylo. I mean… I don't even know if you'll listen to this. I don't blame you if you don't. I just—I mean, I'm calling because—I just—" God dammit! He almost hangs up, but he can't. He's already halfway across this stupid bridge. "I wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not telling you about my mom, and I also wanted to say I didn't have—I mean, I'm still glad I helped you. I'm glad you got a job. She'll be good to you—my mom, I mean. You're exactly the kind of child she deserves to have. I mean I know she's not adopting you but she's pretty motherly to her employees. I think. I remember thinking that, I mean." Oh God oh God oh God what the hell am I saying? "Anyways, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, and the reasons for doing what I did… you won't understand, but they're complicated, and I hope my father recovers well. I really do." His voice cracks like a teenager's. "And I wish you luck. You'll do great at Alderaan House. Okay bye."
"Where are you off to?" Rey quizzes Poe the next morning, as she curls up on the couch with Beebee-Ate.
"Work," Poe says. "No rest for the wicked. Come on, Beebee!"
The dog leaps off the couch and trots over.
"You get to take your dog to work?" Finn asks, arching his eyebrow as he balances his laptop on his lap.
"He's got better legs than I do at the moment," Poe replies. "The day I get rid of this stupid crutch, I will take us all to dinner to celebrate."
"What are you doing today?" Rey asks Finn.
Finn sips a glass of water. "Applying for jobs. Still."
"You've got one."
"Temporarily."
Rey rolls her eyes. "So if I said I was going to the beach, neither of you would come with me?"
Two sorrys come in response.
Fine then, Rey thinks. I'll just go myself. It's not like she's never been to the beach alone before. Whenever she had at day off from Niima Coffee Post—maybe once every other month—no matter the weather, Rey liked to go and watch the ocean. She could imagine an island there, an island just for her, where she can do what she wants. When she was little, she used to draw imaginary islands filled with all sorts of dangers, and make up adventures that she would run through in her head at night, when she couldn't sleep.
She thought it'd be fun to go to the beach with friends this time. Apparently, no. Loneliness chafes at her as she changes in her room.
She picks up her phone and stares at it, at the little red circle by her phone icon. What on earth could Kylo Ren possibly have to say?
She presses on voicemail and listens. Oh, damn. Rey cringes.
She hops on a bus and arrives at the beach, setting her towel down and watching as a grandmother rubs sunblock on her granddaughters' backs. Rey bites her lip.
Don't do the thing, Rey.
Her phone's already in her hand.
"You're calling me?" he greets her.
"Do you work on Saturdays too?" Rey asks.
He pauses. "Usually."
"So you never have fun either?"
"Didn't we already cover this?"
Ideas swarm Rey's mind. He's an asshole, but he still took her in. Maybe he's not fully gone, not yet. "I have a question for you."
"What are you—"
"Do you want to go to the beach with me?" she blurts out.