Thanks a lot to everyone that commented and helped me finish this. I also thank tumblr user somethings-out-of-place, without her beta-ing I wouldn't able to finish this soon! I hope you like this chapter and they are not ooc.
Yamaguchi did not remember the last time he felt this free. They were bathing in the soft colors of the everlasting music, he and Oikawa, the earth moving under their feet, and everything seeming so delusive, impossibly light, simply dreamy. There was something reassuring in the way that their hands softly touched each other's, telling him nonetheless that it was okay to feel, to submerge himself in the emotions.
Tsukki had become even more distant after that night, the perfect example of how things could become worse when everything else was going just fine. They were greeting each other like complete strangers since then, and Yamaguchi was feeling reluctant to take the first step to break the so-called-ice because of Tsukki's irritatingly formal attitude. So be it, Tsukki.
He quickly evaded the depressing thoughts, which were always seemed to be rooted from the same infamous blond; so he turned his attention to the older man beside him. As soon as his gaze wandered around the beautiful features of Oikawa – now amplified even more by the vivid shadows, he felt incredibly okay.
He could love this man. This incredibly cute almost-giant - swaying on his feet like a little kid and right at the moment, who was looking at Yamaguchi, eyes full of imaginary promises. Just like in the song,
"Nothing's gonna hurt you baby
As long as you are with me you'll be just fine"
And Yamaguchi was desperate to believe those were what the fireworks in Oikawa's eyes meant.
"Nothing's gonna hurt you baby
Nothing's gonna take you from my side"
He was cursed. He was overcome with the unworldly beauty of a careless smile that were pulling him down into the depths of a nameless sickness and leaving him amazed.
Yamaguchi could go on immersing himself in such thoughts forever, disoriented and enchanted, diving into the foreign depths of the dark brown eyes. Though the subject, apparently quite pleased with the effect he had on the younger man, did not let him, leaning closer and startling him in the process.
"Yama-chan why are looking at me like that?" Oikawa asked, voice more than loud enough for a concert. "Are you falling for me?"
Yamaguchi felt his cheeks burn with the question - which was the silliest reaction ever, because it was not like he was falling for him and it was totally unrelated that he was musing with the idea of loving the man just a second ago.
He felt the warmness spreading to his ears and his chest with an uncontrollable speed as the annoying – and absolutely not mesmerizing, not at all - naughty smirk on Oikawa's face was growing each second he did not answer.
Yamaguchi was more irritated than nervous - just how dare he asking such embarrassing questions with a face smug as ever- so Yamaguchi went ahead and stuttered, voice just as loud as Oikawa's, "M-maybe."
That was worth it. Seeing the stupid grin freeze, only to be altered by a sweet little pout and cheeks coloring in rosy pink for whatever reason. The freckled man barely heard Oikawa muttering, "How blunt," as he dejectedly turned his face away from him and began taking a freakish interest on the stage all of a sudden.
Oh man. He could definitely love Oikawa.
Just as he loved Tsukki - not with a delirious passion though, no. That passion was what all first loves are for, maybe. But with an unhurried fondness and gratitude – for the eternal summertime sky he carry around with. He could easily count little things to love too, like making fun of his ridiculously perfect hair or waking up to his soothing smell. Oh, and the smile; disastrously distracting and captivating. Because it was rare and ephemeral, stirring up some obscure feelings inside Yamaguchi and urging him to do everything and anything for that one smile to find its way to those lips.
It was just that he was so used to loving Tsukki, he didn't know how to love another. How can you break a habit and replace it with a new one? Would it happen suddenly; you woke up one day and suddenly not loving the man or would it happen gradually and quietly so that he would not even realize he already fell out of love?
Yamaguchi did not even realize that the concert had already ended and felt stupid when he did – like it did not matter to him at all when compared to Oikawa.
When Oikawa offered to stay over, Yamaguchi simply silenced his inner, most embarrassed voice telling him that he should not be involved with Oikawa that much and complied with anticipation.
ooo
Yamaguchi woke up to the luscious smell of coffee and to something acrid which most likely meant that something had burnt (probably to ashes), and he could not help smile. If his mind was little bit clearer, he could have sensed that it was not a laughing matter but rather freaky that he was slowly replacing his black-coffee flavored mornings with these too-much-sugar filled ones. It felt welcome and unbelievably safe. So, he just indulged himself in this fluffy fogginess blanketing him and let the uninvited images of Oikawa last night find their ways behind his eyelids. All kinds of Oikawas, but mostly the imaginary one telling him that he'd be alright.
"You know, I might start to think you like my couch more than you like me!"
The warm bubble Yamaguchi had immersed himself in suddenly popped, making the freckled man open his eyes wide with fear. He eyed his perpetrator suspiciously, like man caught red-handed; looking for possible signs of Oikawa's hidden mind-reading talents. "A-and that might be true" he agreed, voice awkwardly loud.
"How mean Yama-chan"
"Smells exquisite" Yamaguchi quickly commented as an attempt to start a fresh conversation.
"Oh shut up" Oikawa pouted at first, then grinned in a dangerous way. "You don't need to be this stingy because I woke you up in the middle of your indecent dream~!"
Yamaguchi face immediately flared with the darkest shade of red, Oh shit. "I - I was not –"
"Hehehe, got you!" Oikawa laughed as the devil he was.
Yamaguchi groaned, falling back to the couch with a soft thump and hugged the pillow, "Why do I even tolerate you?"
"Might be because I'm the most beautiful and brilliant man?"
"No, you are just a narcissist nerd," Yamaguchi shot back, voice muffled by the pillow.
Oikawa harshly took the pillow from the arms of the freckled man then, and instructed, "Just get up already you lazy bum"
Yamaguchi groaned loudly.
ooo
Breakfast was fun. Since Oikawa's attempts at making pancakes resulted in mostly inedible and weirdly shaped –" They were supposed to look like space-ships, Yama-chan!"- objects, Yamaguchi had to make a new batch of them. To the freckled man's surprise, Oikawa loved them to the degree of declaring they were his new favorite food, Yama-chan's pancakes. Slightly embarrassed and unexpectedly happy, Yamaguchi found himself promising the man that he would be making some more in the future. They ate in a companionable silence, gazes meeting halfway awkwardly once in a while .
Despite Yamaguchi's protests, Oikawa insisted on walking him back home since he had nothing to do. "Who knows, you might find yourself in my doorstep again!" the grand king concluded the argument with the arrogance that only he could have.
On their way back to Yamaguchi's flat, Oikawa skillfully avoided talking anything related to Tsukki, or so Yamaguchi thought gratefully. They were talking about nothing and everything all at once, not necessarily paying attention to their surroundings, conscious of each other only.
Everything was just so perfectly mundane that it scared Yamaguchi, reminding him that they were just a couple of over-fragile souls. And because of that damned fear, he missed the first detour to avoid Iwaizumi and the girl with him coming across the street. Damn.
Yamaguchi quickly scanned Oikawa's face with terror and not to his surprise, he saw the chocolate brown eyes lost their rich color but filled with something somber. Something very familiar to Yamaguchi, because it was born from loathing, anger and jealousy.
However, Oikawa's voice sounded as sweet as ever when he greeted the couple like it was the most fortunate coincidence. Oikawa was the scariest when his honeyed words did not match the look in his eyes, Yamaguchi noted.
The pair, mostly Iwaizumi, seemed surprised with this unexpected encounter as they greeted girl was almost as tall as Iwaizumi, neither over-confident nor shy, but Yamaguchi could say that she looked proud with Iwaizumi by her side. He knew and Oikawa sensed it too and that was all the more reason the freckled man just wanted to take him away from this scene. Though the latter had no intention of leaving yet, it seemed.
"What a lovely skirt Ran-chan" He complimented the recipient of his ominous feels as though it was nothing.
"Ah, thank you Oikawa-san." The girl sounded genuinely happy as she looked at Iwaizumi with pleased eyes. "Hajime liked it too"
Oikawa flinched upon hearing the first name so casually; Hajime, he repeated in a whisper like a voice tasting the sound of the word, lips slightly trembling. Then, he flashed one of his famous –and the most fake- smile. "Iwa-chan surely improved his sense of fashion!"
Iwaizumi, surprisingly quiet since greeting, looked like he was trying to bore a hole in Oikawa's face with gaze as sharp as ice. He opened his mouth and then closed it awkwardly – almost as if he was trying to restrain himself saying something he shouldn't - and finally he growled with somewhat anger, "Oikawa, what do you think you are doing?"
Oikawa's eyes widened with surprise, smile faltering halfway, "What do you mean Iwa-chan?"
"Just open your damn phone when I call you!"
"Ah you mean that," Oikawa let out a small sigh. "You always call when I am the busiest Iwa-chan~"
"Then call me back Trashy-kawa!" Iwaizumi seemed genuinely upset if his fragile expressions were any indication.
Yamaguchi felt Oikawa squirm with discomfort next to him, probably because his Iwa-chan was already getting under his skin and making him feel vulnerable to any hints of affection.
"Geez, Iwa-chan please don't call me such names in front of Ran-chan" He mumbled, trying to pull off an apathetic attitude despite the state he was in.
"I can call you whatever I want" Iwaizumi shot back, almost dejected.
"Oh such a bully Iwa-chan"
The tension was almost visible, and the poor girl's eyes were moving back and forth between Oikawa and Iwaizumi worriedly. Yamaguchi, just as nervous as Oikawa and just as worried as the girl, couldn't bring himself to say anything at all, holding the older man's hand and drag him away - mostly because he was scared of interrupting something he did not have place to.
"We should really talk Oikawa" Iwaizumi remarked in a serious tone.
"As you please Iwa-chan!"
"You better be at home tonight - " Iwaizumi started only to cut off by the girl, "Oh, Hajime you know that tonight isn't convenient! We promised to watch Rumi-chan's recital, remember?."
Oikawa gave a knowing look to Iwaizumi which was mockingly saying, see and the former ace flinched angrily.
"It is okay Ran-chan." Oikawa said in his usual sing-song tone, now completely recovered to his shatterproof mask. "Iwa-chan and I can meet any time, right?"
Iwaizumi did not answer and turned his head in the opposite direction, as the girl happily went on. "Why don't you come to dinner Oikawa-san? That'd be great"
"Oh, what a great offer! I'd be pleased!" Oikawa chirped.
"Perfect! Then we'll let you know Oikawa-san, right Hajime?"
Iwaizumi did not answer but nodded slightly, no longer looking at Oikawa and still slightly angry.
Yamaguchi sensed that, Iwaizumi's anger's was mostly towards himself rather than Oikawa.
Suddenly girl screamed with hurry claiming that they were almost late, dragging Iwaizumi in the processing and giving them almost no time to say goodbye.
It felt like a little storm came and past them.
ooo
"Oikawa-san, are you okay?" Yamaguchi hesitantly asked, even though he was not sure whether it was the best idea to break the silence. It had been more than five minutes since Iwaizumi and his girlfriend had left, and Oikawa and Yamaguchi were still standing in the middle of the street awkwardly.
Oikawa, who hadn't answered right away, suddenly said, "Of course I am!"
Of course, he wasn't. Yamaguchi was racking his brain to come with something distracting, anything to just shake this possessed air around the older man.
"You know Yama-chan," Oikawa started, making the freckled man jump with surprise, "I suddenly remembered that I had to go somewhere. You know the way back, right?"
"You said you had nothing to do today, Oikawa-san?"
"Oh, it is just –", Oikawa paused, realizing he hadn't thought through his lie.
"I am coming with you." Yamaguchi interrupted in a flat voice.
"It's better if you don't." The older man's voice sounded bitter, in perfect harmony with the bitter color of his chocolate brown eyes.
"I don't care."
Oikawa didn't say anything after that, just started to walk back the street they'd passed with hurried steps. Yamaguchi quietly followed behind, trying to match his pace with the older man's. He could not help but think about how similar they were; he and Oikawa, because they were both ridiculously shaken by the sight of their one-sided-loves with their loved-ones, yet keeping their smiles intact no matter what.
Yamaguchi, no longer keeping track of the street they had been passing, was almost losing the sight of the older man as he suddenly stopped in front a clothing store and stepped in hurriedly. It did not quite strike Yamaguchi about why the hell would Oikawa would need to visit this shop, and that was a woman's shop on top of it.
There were several other men besides them, so it was not that awkward until Oikawa changed the atmosphere around him with his every step. He was going through the aisles like a mad man, ignoring the employees that offered help, even going as far as to pushing them away.
That was not very like Oikawa, being rude to the people he did not know, so Yamaguchi, who was just as baffled as the employees, began giving them apologetic nods as he tried to follow Oikawa. Just what he was trying to do?
When he finally spotted Oikawa, he saw a kind of familiar piece of clothing that the older man was holding onto. While wondering where he was familiar with a lemon-yellow skirt, as odd as it sounded, he realized the disgusted look Oikawa giving to it. Ah. Ran-chan. With that connection, Yamaguchi could not find a time to reach Oikawa before he stormed out to somewhere clinging to that thing like his life depended to.
Yamaguchi desperately looked for Oikawa among the changing rooms, once in a while calling out to him while doing as much as possible not to look like a pervert. It seemed as if there was no trace of the older man. The years might have done him some good, but Yamaguchi was the same worry-wart as he was before. Just he was about to ask for help, he realized that no one had been coming in or out of the furthest stall.
"Oikawa, are you there?" Yamaguchi asked with a hesitant voice, while intensely looking at the closed curtain like if he could focus enough, he could see through it.
There was no sound. "Just say something if you are in there, I'm worried."
He heard a pained sob. That didn't give Yamaguchi any relief like he needed, but at least it confirmed Oikawa was in there.
"It's okay, I'll wait for you here."
Yamaguchi could not care less about the little racket they caused, but judging from the pitying looks the employees giving him, they were okay - somehow
After what felt like an eternity, - though it was really only a few minutes, to Yamaguchi's disbelief - the curtains of the stalls moved a little bit, then came Oikawa's muffled voice.
"Yamaguchi?"
"Yes!" the freckled man almost shouted with concern.
The curtains moved a little bit more which Yamaguchi took as an invitation, so he carefully slid in, feeling alarmed, as if he was intruding upon a divine ritual.
Oikawa was sitting on the floor, hugging his knees like the little kid he sometimes acted like, but it was far from the merry person that he was last night, and Yamaguchi hated everything that make those eyes red – and wearing that damned skirt.
The younger man felt tears welling up in his eyes as he sat on his knees; and his hands reached for the setter's delicate face hesitantly and with a tremble, as if he was waiting for Oikawa's consent.
Oikawa seemed to not pay attention, so Yamaguchi gently wiped the remnants of tears with the tips of his fingers, tracing the salty water slowly and caressing the soft cheekbones. He could not help but admire how handsome the man was, even in a state of ruin,
"Oikawa-san, are you okay?" His voice cracked, even though Yamaguchi had the intention of looking brave.
"Well, look at me. I am wearing a skirt," Oikawa murmured averting his eyes. Yamaguchi gently placed a wild lock of hair behind the older man's ear.
"And you look so damn good in it"
"You don't need to lie," Oikawa protested weakly, looking directly Yamaguchi this time as if looking for the sings of betrayal.
"I never lie to you." Yamaguchi said with conviction.
"And why are you crying?" Oikawa looked at him eyes wide with surprise.
"I – I don't know." Yamaguchi touched his own his cheeks only to feel the dampness. Why does he have to be so uncool in front of Oikawa? It was becoming a pattern already. So he complained with all his might, " You are so mean, you know, making me all worried."
"Yama-chan, you are such a cry baby."
Yamaguchi saw Oikawa's lips curled slightly – only slightly – but it was already a better sight. "Says the man with mushy face," he teased.
"Excuse you, my face is perfect."
Yamaguchi laughed then, and no way he could not agree. "Yeah, it is"
He waited Oikawa to respond him in the usual way he did, telling him he was blatant or something, but the setter surprised him with an unexpected question.
"Do you think I'm pathetic?"
It was awkward to hear that word coming from the older man, let alone associating him with it. "Why would I?" he asked honestly.
"Because I was jealous and as if – As if Iwa-chan would love me if I were to wear a skirt?"
"That's nothing pathetic."
Yamaguchi was not sure his tone was convincing enough, so he repeated. "You are not pathetic Oikawa-san and I think no men could look this beautiful in a skirt."
Oikawa gave him child-like look then, eyes wide with surprise and mouth pressed in a firm line, and Yamaguchi was almost sure that he heard the man murmur "Geez, so shameless".
They did not talk for a while but Oikawa's features were softening bit by bit so Yamaguchi took the courage to ask, while pointing the skirt the older man's wearing.
"Should we buy it?"
The setter looked at him with dead eyes, then turned his gaze to himself, eyes glowing with the newly blossomed tears. "Geez, never."
"Then how about getting the hell out of here."
Oikawa nodded obediently.
ooo
Under normal circumstances, it would be hilariously funny how they were walking each other to their respective homes, like a never-ending loop. But Yamaguchi only felt glad when they reached Oikawa's door. The older man had been uncharacteristilly silent all the way back, which was expected given the turn of events, but even so Yamaguchi was not used to this kind of Oikawa.
As they walked inside the flat however, the freckled man faced yet another Oikawa he did not know as the older man harshly pushed him, his back colliding loudly with the door.
"Hey," Oikawa whispered in a voice like velvet that enraptured Yamaguchi, and that made it easier for the taller man to firmly grasp Yamaguchi's between the door and Oikawa, the older man seemed threateningly taller than Yamaguchi ever realized.
"H-Hey," the freckled man stuttered, his mind unable to produce a coherent answer, as the older man's face was coming dangerously close. He could feel warm breath on his lashes.
"Yama-chan, how about we love each other, right now?"
"W-What do you mean?"
"Don't be so naïve. I mean let's make love," His grips on Yamaguchi's wrists tightened little more.
"Uh – I don't think it is a good idea."
"Come on. You are virgin right? Let me change that."
"That –"
"You can imagine your megane, you know."
"And will you imagine your Iwa-chan?" Yamaguchi hissed with newly boiled anger. It was one thing to hurt him pyschically but to hurt him emotionally was crossing the line. He wouldn't let anyone do that anymore, he wasn't a child. . "You know Oikawa-san, I might be a virgin but if someone would ever make love me, I would want it because it is me. So please, let me go. "
The freckled man broke free of the setter's iron grip, and softly pushed him back, all the while looking Oikawa in the eyes, "And I'll never think of you as some else even if for a second. "
The setter, baffled by the turn of events and slowly coming back to his senses, looked apogetically to Yamaguchi's wrist which were now looking painfully red.
"I am sorry, I did not mean to-" The older man started, voice sounding genuinely upset.
"It is okay." The freckled man interrupted. There was no meaning to making him sorrier than he was already. "I went a little overboard as well with my lecturing."
"No. You – you were right." Such a king he was, defeated and wounded in too many places, bleeding all over the battle field.
"Come now" Yamaguchi tugged Oikawa by his shirt, waking him up from the momentary nightmare "Let's go wash your face."
He silently lead the older man into the bathroom, and settled him on the toilet lid like he was handling a little child.
Oikawa, slightly purified from his dejected mood, watched with amused eyes as the freckled man searched for a towel and whined "Yama-chan is slow~"
He was literally a child.
ooo
It might be ridiculous, or rather embarrassing, he did not care – but Yamaguchi had never kissed in his 20 years of living. It was not like people were in line demanding to kiss him; that and there also was the fact that he didn't even want to kiss anyone other than Tsukki. Even so, it was a rather bitter thought that nobody ever wanted him in a way that he wanted Tsukki.
But right now, standing on his knees, slowly and carefully wiping Oikawa's face, he was realizing that there were too many little patterns on this almost perfect face that he didn't care to see before, and that there was something in the curves of Oikawa's lips. And that something was making him wonder how it felt to kiss Oikawa.
It would be utterly shattering, Yamaguchi guessed, as he shivered slightly before the painful image of the fallen king. The momentary delight of the setter had already been replaced with gloom, even though he was teasing Yamaguchi about how good servant he made. It was too hard for Yamaguchi to predict what was going through the setter's head, so a kiss might be the best way to read him, given the intimacy of the act. Yamaguchi wanted to see to see what Oikawa needed, from the depths of his soul, so that he could find it and give it to him, to whisper the words he needed to hear through the closest proximity of the lips.
Would he be able to taste the faint remnants of the morning coffee, mingled with all those unexplored aromas, he mused. Or rather, it would be such an extraterrestrial experience, in the magnitude of two planets crashing into each other with a speed so fast that it took his breath away..
Oh God. He really wanted to know. That, and to free Oikawa from that unbearable weight of the wicked feelings hanging around him like a poisonous halo.
So he did. All he needed to do was to lean in a bit, anyway.
He did not feel anything at first, it all happened in the tiniest fracture of time. The kiss was nothing more than a feathery touch. Yamaguchi was lost in the beat of the unnerving thumps that took over his heart and he didn't dare look into the eyes of the recipient of his sudden action, when they opened. And when he finally did look, he was wooed by the sight of the bliss.
Very surprised eyes, crowned with fluttering lashes, newly blossomed pink on the cheeks, and that mouth, indecisive between something innocent and lascivious.
Yamaguchi felt his insides filling with fear without completely registering why, but it was probably because Yamaguchi was afraid of the potential rejection. But then something happened. Something with a mythical significance.
"Oh," Yamaguchi thought. No one should be allowed to smile like that. Spellbound and dumbfounded, the freckled man felt his lips curling upwards too, because such a contagious thing that Oikawa's smile was - filled with foolish wisdom and child like wonder.
Without giving him time to compose himself though, Oikawa pulled the freckled man close. Yamaguchi felt Oikawa's warm breath on his own lips. And it was then that he felt everything all at once, possessing him and engraving into him more and more every second. The torturous sweetness flowed into him. And yes, that barely there morning coffee in the midst of the delicate tastes overflowed.
It was neither mediocre nor glittering. It was peaceful, caring, enveloping, an oh-so-warm feeling that Yamaguchi could easily get addicted to. It felt like spring all over again.
When Yamaguchi pulled away, rather unwilling but he has to breath, really, Oikawa looked more annoying than innocent and slyly commented,
"It was good considering it was your first kiss."
"Wha—How did - ?" " Yamaguchi, embarrassed with all his being, couldn't even deny the truth, so he engrossed himself with bathroom tiles.
"So I was right," the setter beamed with victory. "I like you all flustered like this."
"It looks better on you though," Yamaguchi shot back.
"Oh."
They sat there for while, too flustered for their own good, and Oikawa suddenly feeling embarrassed.
"I was not imagining Iwa-chan, you know." The setter declared all of a sudden.
Yamaguchi's eyes widened with surprise and his smile grew larger.
"Good." he said, voice sounding happier than he intended to. "Me neither."
"What? You mean Iwa-chan?"
"No, you idiot. " Yamaguchi grunted, how could a man manage to look both innocent and cunning at the same time? "Want to cuddle?" he whispered, surprised to be able to form such a question.
Oikawa laughed in delight then, looking at the freckled man in the eyes, promising him some more imaginary futures. Yamaguchi did not mind.
"Yes!"