Author's Note: I own nothing. I just like to play with the characters that were created by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.
This story is kind of cathartic for me and it's based in real life. Rated M for future lemons.
Chapter 6: The Holiday
I listened intently to Edward's story. His voice lost all emotion and his sparkling green eyes were flat, devoid of all feeling. He was detaching himself as he explained how his wife was killed by a drunk driver. He was removing himself from the pain of losing his wife and unborn child. As I heard the story, my heart broke for this incredibly strong man sitting in front of me. He was so young. Too young to deal with the tragedy that was bestowed upon him.
When Edward finished his story, I found my hand in his, offering him comfort. I rubbed soothing circles on the back of his hand and he gave me a wistful smile. "Edward, I had no idea," I said, barely above a whisper. "You seem…"
"So normal?" Edward finished for me, continuing to hold my hand. "Believe me, therapy has helped. Also, being removed from the situation and the location helps too. It was hard going to work and walking into the trauma room where you wife died. I couldn't go in there for a few months without having a serious panic attack."
Feeling uncomfortable, I gently removed my hand from his. Edward's brow furrowed and he put his hands back into his lap, appearing nervous. "Sorry about being such a downer," he said, picking at his napkin. "Not exactly how I envisioned this."
"I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough to talk to me," I said encouragingly. "Working with middle schoolers, I've learned to be a combination of a teacher, therapist, best friend and counselor."
"I may have you on speed dial," Edward teased.
"Call anytime," I smiled.
Edward gave me a lopsided grin and he reached his hand across the table. His actions were stopped when his cell phone rang from his pocket. He had a look of irritation and he picked up the call, glancing at the caller ID. "Dr. Masen," he said brusquely. He listened intently. Whoever was speaking was very frantic and Edward was not happy. "Fine. I'll be there in a half hour," he said as he ended the call. "So sorry."
"I understand. Not everyone has summers off," I teased.
Edward gave me an apologetic look and waved down Roseta. She returned with the check and took our meals away to be wrapped. Edward took out his credit card and slipped it into the small folder.
"How much do I owe?" I asked, reaching for my purse.
"Um, nothing," Edward said, holding the folder to his chest. "This is on me."
"Edward," I admonished. "You did me a favor in picking up my drunken ass from Bar Louie. You did me another favor in driving me to pick up my car from the parking garage today. At least let me pay for my meal."
"Nope," Edward smirked, giving me a wink.
I growled lightly and narrowed my eyes. Edward mimicked my actions and handed Roseta the folder when she returned with our food. "At least let me get the tip."
"Bella," he warned. "I insist. My parents raised me to be a gentleman. Please?" He looked over his glasses and gave me an adorable pout. "Pretty please?"
"My eighth grade girls pull that with me and I don't even buckle," I laughed. "It looks better on them."
"Are you saying I'm not attractive?" Edward scoffed.
"No. I didn't say that. You're very attractive. However the puppy dog pout is appropriate for a 13 year old girl. Not a 30-something year old man," I snickered.
"Minor technicalities," Edward said with a dismissive wave of the hand. His phone chirped on the table and he quickly checked the text. He looked over his shoulder and saw Roseta approaching with the folder. Edward slipped out his credit card and signed it, leaving a cash tip. "As much as I would love to spend the day with you, Bella. There's been a blow up at Craven. I need to head in and do damage control." He gracefully got out of the booth and I followed suit.
"What happened?" I asked.
"One of the residents administered the wrong amount of medication to a patient and now they are in a coma," Edward said. "I have to meet with the resident and legal to cover our asses."
"Damn," I mumbled as we walked back toward Edward's car.
He opened up the passenger seat and I slid into the Volvo. Edward jogged to other side and he slid on his sunglasses. He eased the car out of the parking lot and drove us to the parking garage where I left my Pilot. I got my keys out of my purse and sat in a comfortable silence with Edward as we drove. I had spaced out and didn't realize that we were at my car. Edward laid a hand on my shoulder and my heart warmed at the simple touch. "You okay, Bella?"
"Yeah. Just daydreaming," I said.
"About what?" Edward asked, his eyes piercing into mine.
"Nothing," I replied. "Just lost in space. Also known as my mind."
"Hmmmm, I don't believe you," Edward said, arching a brow.
"Whatever," I said, rolling my eyes. "Thanks for lunch and for picking me up to get the beast."
"It was my pleasure," Edward said, reaching over the console to grab my hand. "Despite the heaviness of the conversation, I had a good time. The best time I've had in a long time. I hope we can do it again."
"I'd like that," I said, looking into Edward's jade green eyes.
"Excellent," Edward smiled. He squeezed my fingers before letting my hand go. He got out of the car and opened up the passenger door for me, offering me a hand out of the vehicle. I unlocked the doors to my Pilot and started it, cooling it down from the warm summer heat. "Would it make you uncomfortable if I hugged you, Bella?"
"You did it last night, fake boyfriend," I said, slapping his arm.
"To save you from that ass clown," Edward said. "You are a handful aren't you."
"Meh," I said as I shrugged my shoulders.
"So, hug?"
"Whatever makes you happy, Dr. Masen," I said with a smirk.
Edward gathered me in his arms and I thought I heard him say, "You make me happy, Bella." It was so quiet, though, I wasn't sure if it was 'real.' His embrace was warm and welcoming. I felt safe in his strong arms. As he held me, I inhaled and reveled in his scent. It was a combination of laundry detergent, Tuscany cologne and the overall clean man smell. I faintly heard Edward doing the same as he kissed the top of my head. I grew stiff and Edward released me. His cheeks were pink and his glance flew to his feet. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I'm just…not used…shit," I said, mentally berating myself for ruining a perfectly good day.
"I was out of line, Bella. I'm so sorry that I made you uncomfortable," Edward said, his eyes filled with sadness. He opened his mouth and his cell phone rang from his pocket. He looked at the caller ID and growled. "I'm on my way, Aro. Relax. This will be handled."
I gave Edward a tentative smile and he hung up his phone. "I really have to go. The CEO of the hospital is ready to fire, then kill and torch the resident who administered the medication. I need to look over the medical implications of this snafu. Can…can I call you tonight? If you're not busy, I mean," he said in a rush.
"Remember, I'm on your speed dial," I teased.
Edward smiled and ran a hand through his bronze, unruly locks. "It'll probably be after nine. That's when the ER 'slows down.'"
"I'll be up. I'm on summer vacation. I have nowhere to be until August 15th," I said.
"Lucky," Edward said. "I'll talk to you later. Drive safely, Bella."
"You too," I said as I climbed into my SUV. I put the car into drive and gave Edward a wave as I pulled out of the parking spot.
I drove back to my condo, by the way of the grocery store. I picked up a few necessities. I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning and organizing my condo. It was a very nice place, especially for what I paid for it. It had warm wood flooring in the foyer and kitchen. The cabinets were white and they popped from the bright yellow paint on the walls. The appliances were white and brand new to the unit. The kitchen opened up to the dining room. It was in a deep red. Not a color I would have chosen, but it's grown on me. It really looked nice with my dining room set.
The living room was in a warm beige color. I accented the room with sage green and deep violet purple all throughout the room. The guest bedroom was pretty basic in a blue color. It had a small full sized bed and also housed my computer. In the guest bedroom/office, I also kept all of my lessons and books from college and school. My bedroom was probably my favorite room of the condo. I painted it a warm, taupy brown color. My bed spread was purples, greens and beiges. It was very feminine. Very much unlike what I had with Mike. Blue, geometric crap. I hated it, but Mike just loooooooooooved it and bought it, despite my protest at its hideousness. On the walls of my bedroom, I had several sepia photographs of various flowers and things of nature. It was my own little wilderness in Sherryville. Very pretty and romantic and very me.
After I cleaned my apartment, I put in a couple of loads of laundry. I was sorting my clothes when I heard a light tap on my door. I frowned as someone needed to be buzzed in if they were visiting me. I checked through the peephole and saw a gorgeous blonde standing outside with a plate in her hands. I unlocked my door and opened it.
"Hi! I'm Rosalie Hale and I just moved in. I'm in B210," she said, giving me a wide smile.
"I'm Bella Swan. Nice to meet you," I said with a tentative smile. "Would you like to come in?"
"Sure," she said. "Oh, these are for you." Rosalie handed me a plate of cookies.
"Um, aren't I supposed to give you baked goods?" I teased. "You just moved in and all."
"I don't sleep much and I bake to pass my time," Rosalie said with a wave of the hand. "I don't eat any of it, but it calms me."
"Well, I can't eat all of these. So you'll have to help. Let me put on some coffee and we can get acquainted," I said with a warm smile. "Make yourself at home."
I made a pot of coffee and put some of the very decadent-looking cookies onto a plate. I also grabbed some fresh fruit that I had purchased earlier in the day and put it in a bowl. I walked out to find Rosalie curled up on my couch, flipping through a magazine from my cocktail table. I put our snack onto the table and got the coffee mugs and fixings. "I really like your place. What you've done with it."
"Thanks. Most of it was like this when I moved in. The only room I changed drastically was my bedroom. And the master bathroom. It was a lovely shade of vomit green. That needed to go," I laughed. "When did you move in?"
"About a week ago. I've been making the rounds with the neighbors. You'd be surprised how many people don't answer their doors or slam their doors in your face. Like my cookies were poisonous or something," Rosalie grumbled. "I'm just being friendly."
"Don't mind them. They keep to themselves. When I moved in about two months ago, I ran into one person in the mail room. ONE! They didn't even say hi," I sympathized. "Assholes."
"Douches," Rosalie agreed. "So far, you're the nicest person I've met."
"Thanks. I try," I winked. "What do you do?"
"I just got hired at Cherry Blossom Middle School. I'll be on an eighth grade team, teaching language arts," Rosalie answered.
"Do you know what team?" I asked.
"Eight Orange," Rose answered.
"That's my team. You'll be with me, Emmett McCarty, who teaches science and social studies and Tyler Crowley, who teaches math," I said, my eyes widening.
"Oh, wow! That's awesome! It'll be nice to know someone when I start in August. It's an even better thing to know someone on my team," Rosalie said, clapping her hands. "Mrs. Cope gave me the curriculum and I'm excited to work with it. She also said that the other language arts teacher handles the accelerated classes. I'm assuming that's you."
"Yep, but if you want a section, I'm more than happy to give it to you. Three sections of accelerated is brutal," I laughed. "We can talk to Mrs. Cope if you'd like."
"I would love that. Thanks!"
"Where were you from before the thriving metropolis of Sherryville?" I asked, arching a brow.
"Um, New York," Rosalie said. Her eyes looked away and she swiped a cookie, stuffing it into her mouth.
"Fresh start?" I asked.
"Something like that," Rosalie answered as she swallowed her cookie. "It's a long story."
"If you ever want to talk, let me know," I offered. "Years of handling middle school students has made me a pretty good listener."
"Thanks, Bella," Rosalie smiled. "I may take you up on that. But not now."
"Whenever you want," I said. "More coffee?"
"Yes, please," Rosalie said. I picked up her coffee mug and went into the kitchen. My phone chirped from my purse and I noticed a text.
I just wanted to say that I had a wonderful time at lunch today, Bella. I can't wait to do it again. Soon. Call you tonight. – Edward
I smiled as I read his words. I knew he was dealing with a crazy situation at work, but he took the time to send me a text.
I also had a lovely time, Edward. Thank you for opening up to me. – Bella
His response was almost instantaneous. Thank you for listening. You've heard more than my therapist and family. It must be that good ear you've honed as a remarkable educator. ;) – Edward.
*Rolls eyes* Okay, Edward. Go save some people's lives or something. Perform open heart surgery with a plastic straw and a pocket knife. – Bella.
I'm a doctor, not MacGyver, Bella. Jeez! Talk to you later, beautiful – Edward
Did he just call me beautiful? Am I dreaming? Holy fuck! Okay, breathe Bella. Answer the man.
Bye, Edward – Bella.
BYE?! Are you a moron? Fucking stupid? Really smooth, Swan.
"Bella?" Rosalie called from the living room.
"Be right there," I said, sounding nervous. I quickly refilled the coffee mugs and walked back into the living room, sitting across from Rosalie. "Sorry about that. I was texting a friend."
"A male friend?" Rosalie asked with a waggle of her brows.
"Um, yeah. I just got divorced. It was finalized yesterday. My maid of honor from wedding and I went out for drinks last night and her brother, my friend, picked us up. We went out for lunch today. He told me some heavy stuff. Apparently, I've been the first person he's talked to, besides a therapist," I said.
"What happened?"
"I won't say much, but he lost both of his parents to a drunk driving accident, being seriously injured himself. He had to relearn everything but he did. Then, three years ago, his wife was killed in another drunk driving accident. He was a doctor in the ER where she was brought in and he saw her die," I said, my heart breaking for Edward all over again.
"Holy shit," Rose groaned. "That's so sad."
"Yeah. I was in shock when he told me. What really surprised me was how dead he looked while he was telling his story. His eyes had no emotion in his eyes. His face was devoid of any affect; almost like he was detaching himself from the whole situation," I said, furrowing my brow.
"It's a huge step for him to talk about it," Rosalie said quietly. "You need to detach in order to get through it."
I looked at my new friend and saw the familiar dead look in her blue eyes. She blinked a few times and shook it off, giving me a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'm going to go. Thank you for the coffee and enjoy your cookies, Bella Swan."
"I intend to, Rosalie Hale," I smiled. I got up and walked her to the door. As she left, Rosalie gave me a hug and headed into her own condo.
xx AFS xx
I apparently drifted asleep and I woke up to my phone ringing in the kitchen. I got up and stumbled to the counter and picked it up. "Hello?" I asked groggily.
"Did I wake you, beautiful?" Edward teased.
"Shut it. I was nursing a hangover this morning and I never truly recovered. I only acted like I was coherent at lunch today," I said yawning and padding back to my comfortable couch. "How's your 'situation?'"
"Bad. The patient died," Edward sighed. "The family is threatening to sue."
"I'm so sorry," I said sympathetically. "What's going to happen to the resident?"
"He's being placed on administrative leave until an investigation can be held. It's really sad. He was one of our best and brightest," Edward sighed. "How was the rest of your day, aside from your nap?"
"Good. I met one of my neighbors. It turns out she works at my school and will be on my team with me," I said. "I also cleaned and cleaned. I live a boring life."
"Boring is good," Edward laughed. "I have a random question for you."
"Puce," I answered, giggling at my reference to my random question when I first met him.
"Funny, Bella," he said dryly. "It's not so random. Are you going to Alice and Jasper's Fourth of July barbeque?"
"I was planning on it. Are you?" I asked.
"Yeah. Would you like to drive with me?" Edward asked nervously. "You don't have to, but…"
"I'd love to, Edward. However, we need to take my beast. Alice wants me to bring several coolers and they won't fit in your pretty little Volvo."
"Don't hate on my Volvo, woman," Edward teased. "The Swedes make very safe cars."
"I've driven a Honda ALL my life and they are extremely safe as well, Masen," I giggled. "I'll pick you up."
"Fine," Edward grumbled.
"Are you a control freak, Edward?" I asked. "Do you want to drive my car to appease your frail male ego?"
"I am a control freak, Bella. But you can drive. I unfortunately have to work until eleven in the morning on Fourth of July. Can you pick me up at the hospital?" Edward asked.
"Sure," I said. I looked at my calendar and noticed that Fourth of July was only two days away. "Crap!"
"What?"
"Where has June gone?" I squeaked.
"It went by quickly," Edward chuckled. I heard a ruckus in the background and someone yell for Dr. Masen. "I have to go, beautiful. I'll call you tomorrow. Good night."
"Good night," I said as I ended the call, my cheeks heating up at his term of endearment.
I spent the next few days making the necessities for Alice's barbeque. She requested my potato salad and pasta salad. I was also making my famous rum cake. When I woke up on Fourth of July morning, I made sure that all of the food was securely placed in their Tupperware, with tape and plastic bags around them. I quickly got dressed, wearing a pair of navy blue capris and a red tank top with an American flag on it. I put a short sleeved white blouse over the top and a pair of brown sandals. Edward sent me a text and said that he went back to his house. His uncle felt bad for him and decided to finish his shift for him. Edward used the extra time to grab some sleep and a shower before the barbeque. He also sent me an email with directions to his place. He lived in my old neighborhood, a few blocks over from my former home with Mike.
I loaded up my car with the coolers that Alice requested, along with a couple of lawn chairs and the food. I also threw in a blanket and some sparklers from a vendor I met at the farmer's market when I went yesterday. I grabbed my purse, some sunscreen and my shades and got into the car. I sent Edward a text saying I was on my way and said he'd be waiting with bated breath.
I drove with trepidation through my old neighborhood. I wasn't really friendly with the neighbors, but I didn't want to run into evil Mr. Banner and his pug who shit on my lawn all the time. I got to Edward's street and pulled into his driveway. His home was huge. It was one of the houses that I always wanted if I was a millionaire. It was a large two story home with white siding and blue shudders. I parked the car and turned it off. I walked up the drive to the front door. I rang the doorbell and Edward opened it up. He was wearing a pair of khaki cargo shorts and was shirtless. His hair was still damp from his shower.
Did I mention he was shirtless?
Can we say six pack? Holy fuck!
"Hey, beautiful," he said as he opened door wider. "Come on in."
I walked into his home and it was immaculately decorated. Obviously not by him. It had a feminine touch, but was still masculine. To my right was the living room, filled with a deep chocolate brown leather couch. On my left was an open room with a grand piano sitting on a pedestal. "I didn't know you played."
"Yeah," he said, running his fingers through his hair. "My mom, Elizabeth, insisted I take lessons. I was actually really good before the accident. However, my fine motor control was not what it used to be and I'm not as good as before. Do you want something to drink? Tea? Soda? Water?"
"Water sounds good," I said.
Edward turned around and I saw the scars on his back from the accident. I also noticed some smaller scars on his legs. Even with those scars, he was beautiful.
Stop it, Bella. He's not interested. You're FRIENDS.
Edward got me my water and even put a lemon in it. He handed it to me with a flourish and he gave me his lopsided smile. "I'm going to finish getting ready and then we'll go?"
"Sounds good," I said, sipping my water. He jogged up the stairs with ease and I heard him putter in his bedroom. I walked around the family room and looked at his massive library. It was filled with various medical texts in addition to classical novels and some pop culture novels. I was so wrapped up in my explorations of his literary tastes, I hadn't realized he came back.
"Don't knock Twilight, Bella. I saw the eye roll," he said, his face very close to mine.
"Holy crap, Edward," I said, jumping about a foot in the air. "You startled me. Are you part ninja?"
Edward dropped into a defensive crouch and pretended to karate chop my shoulder. "My kung fu is strong, kimosabe," he snorted.
"You are a dork," I said, poking him in the side. He barked out a laugh and danced away.
Hmmm…Edward Masen is ticklish. Good to know.
"And proud of it," he said, grinning. "Would like a tour of my humble abode?"
"It's not so humble, Edward. I used to live in this neighborhood before I got divorced and I wanted this house. It's so homey, but huge," I said, my eyes glazing over.
"Shit, I'm sorry," Edward said.
"Edward, don't be. It's not your fault that my husband decided to trade me in for a younger model. Who is now the size of a small country," I giggled.
"She's pregnant?" Edward asked, his brows raising.
"Yep. About five to six months along," I answered. "You know how some woman are cute pregnant?"
"Yeah," Edward responded.
"Jessica is SOOOOOOOOOOO not," I chortled. "Pretty soon, she'll be traded in."
"Seriously, have you talked someone about these bitter feelings you have?" Edward asked, arching a brow.
"Yes. Her name is Alice Cullen. Perhaps you know her?"
"Unfortunately, I do. We're related. Evil little fairy," Edward snickered. "You look very nice by the way. Very patriotic."
"So do you, Dr. Masen," I smiled as I plucked his navy blue flag t-shirt. "Old Navy?"
"Nope. Kohl's," he said, tucking a hair behind my ear. "Ready to deal with the psycho little elf?"
"Not really," I said as I finished my water. "This is my first time going to Alice's shindig, single."
"What a coincidence. ME TOO!" Edward said as he slapped his knee.
"Thank you Captain Obvious. Can I introduce you to Colonel No Shit?" I said as I walked to put my glass in the sink.
"He's my other cousin," Edward teased. "Shall we?"
"Sure."
Edward turned and went into his fridge, pulling out a plastic bag. "Steaks and chicken breasts," Edward explained. He handed me the bag and picked up a box of beer and we walked out to my car. We put Edward's items in the back and he scowled as he got into the passenger seat.
"Are you sure you don't want to drive, control freak?" I teased.
"I'm fine," he said as he pulled out a pair of sunglasses from his pocket. He slid them onto his nose and I scrambled into the SUV. "What did Alice demand you bring?"
"Potato salad, pasta salad and rum cake," I answered as I opened the sun roof and slid on my own shades. "You got it easy with meat and beer."
"I'd rather not bring the beer," Edward sighed.
"I assume you don't drink," I said as I pulled out of his drive.
"Never. I've seen what alcohol does when people do not pay attention," Edward said sadly. "However, I don't judge people who do drink. I know it calms some and provides a release for others. Just don't drive when you're inebriated. I would rather get waken up at all hours of the night to pick someone up who's drunk than lose someone else that I love. Promise me, Bella. If you drink and aren't able to drive, call me?"
I stopped at a stoplight and looked at Edward. His eyes were beseeching me and his brow was furrowed. "I promise. Though, I have you know that I'm not much of a drinker," I said, arching my brow over my sunglasses.
"Says the woman who needed to be chauffeured home a couple nights ago," Edward teased.
"That was the first time since my wedding that I was drunk," I said. "Six years ago."
"Okay, beautiful," he said, as he tucked a stray hair that had blown across my cheek. Where his fingers touched my skin, it felt like it was on fire. I forced myself to not lean into his gentle touch.
Friends, Bella. You are FRIENDS!
I turned on the radio and we listened to some quiet jazz as I drove to Alice's townhouse that she shared with Jasper. Edward hummed lightly to 'My Funny Valentine' as it piped through my car. He had a really nice singing voice. It was deep and had a husky tone to it. He appeared to be spacing out and he gazed out the passenger window. I smiled and finished the drive to Alice's townhome.
I pulled up to her house and there were a ton of cars. I immediately recognized Emmett's jeep, Angela's Honda and Alice's parents' Land Rover. I parked in her driveway and opened the back of my car. Edward picked up the coolers and tossed the meat into one of them. We walked around to the back and deposited the coolers. Alice, who was wearing a jean skirt and red top, donning pigtails, ran up to me and threw her arms around my neck. "Bella! It's so good to see you," she shrieked. "Hey baby brother!"
"Hey Ali," he said as he hugged her and gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek.
I wonder if his lips are soft as they look.
What?
"Hey Bells," Jasper said as he gave me a warm hug. "Sorry I couldn't pick you and the fairy up. I went out with the boys and ended up calling a cab myself. Good thing Edward was available. How are you doing, man?"
"I'm good, Jas," Edward smiled, shaking Jasper's hand. "Did you get the file I sent you?"
"Yeah, I did. It doesn't look good. We'll have to meet after the Fourth to discuss it. Aro is going to be pissed," Jasper said, running a hand through his golden hair. "It's going to cost the hospital lots of money."
"This is why we have malpractice insurance," Edward grumbled.
"But you need to pay your premiums for it to work. Dr. Smythe hadn't paid her premiums in nearly a year. This is why the hospital is going to have to pay," Jasper said. "We'll discuss it later, Edward. Have fun now. You're getting wrinkles."
"Am not," Edward said, smacking Jasper on the arm.
"Actually Edward, I see a few grays," Alice teased.
"Shut it, fairy," Edward growled.
"Next thing you know, you're going to have a beer belly and you won't be able to see your feet," I snorted.
"You all just suck," Edward said as he walked to the cooler. He opened it up and grabbed water bottle. Alice waved at him and he flipped her off. "Did you get everything from the car, Bella?"
"Just the cake," I said. "I can get it."
"No, I'll get it. If I don't, I'm going to dunk the fairy in her pool," Edward said, holding his hand out for my keys.
"You wouldn't dare," Alice squeaked.
"Don't tempt me, big sister," Edward laughed as I tossed him my keys. He caught them and went to the car, jogging easily.
"Spill it, Swan," Alice said, smushing my cheeks with her hands. "Are you and Edward dating?"
"No," I said, removing her hands from my face. I opened and closed my mouth. I gave her a glare. "We're friends. You know, friends? Men and women can be friends."
"Hmmmm," Alice said. "He has the protective, loving look on his face whenever he gazes in your direction. I'd only seen it one other time. It was with Tanya. His wife. Shit. You don't know about her."
"Yes, I do," I said. "He told me about it when we went out for lunch. My heart broke for him. A widower at 29. Damn."
"Wait, he told you?" Alice asked. "Voluntarily?"
"Yeah," I said as I got a beer from one of the coolers. "Is that wrong?"
"You're the first person he's told, voluntarily, since it's happened," Alice said. She, again, threw her arms around me and I could feel her tears against my shirt. I returned her embrace and gently swayed us. "Bella, I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything, Alice," I said, pulling on her pigtails.
"Here's the cake," Edward said as he carried my rum cake. I held out my arms and he deposited it into my waiting hands. I walked into the kitchen and put it on the counter. Edward followed me. "Your keys, madam."
"Thank you," I said, holding my hand out. Edward put them into my fingers, giving me a crooked smirk. I put my keys into my pocket and gave him a wink.
"Edward?" came a quiet voice. A lovely woman came into the kitchen. Her caramel colored hair was curled and pulled back into a low ponytail. Her blue eyes held the same shape as Edward. I immediately recognized her as Esme, Alice's mom. "How are you doing?" she asked as she gave him a warm hug. "It's been too long since you've been to the house."
"I'm good, Esme," Edward said, returning her hug. "Work has been crazy, but it keeps me out of trouble. Carlisle said he'd be here for dinner, around four."
"I know, sweetheart. He sent me a text," she said, ruffling his hair. She turned and looked at me "How are you doing, Bella?"
"I'm good, Mrs. Cullen," I replied, politely.
"Mrs. Cullen is my dead mother-in-law," Esme chastised. "You know that."
"Sorry, Esme," I said. She held out her arms and I accepted her embrace. "It's good to see you."
"Alice told me about your divorce. I'm so sorry," Esme said, frowning slightly.
"Don't be. I'm not," I said with a dismissive wave of my hand. "He cheated on me and we weren't in love anymore. I'm moving on with my life and I'm happy with the decisions I've made."
"Good for you, sweetie," she said. Esme looked at me and she glanced at Edward. Her eyes widened imperceptibly but she kept quiet. "Have you talked to Alice about her wedding recently?"
"Ugh, too much. The dress she's making me wear is too much," I grumbled.
"Too much what?" Edward asked.
"Too much. Too frilly. Too girly. Too much money. Too pink," I groaned.
"Pink?" Edward laughed. "I didn't realize that Alice's colors involved pink. I really hope I'm not stuck wearing a pink vest and tie."
"I think you are, buddy," I teased. "She showed me pictures of the groomsmen's tuxedos. Jasper's vest is white and the rest of them are pink."
"Fu…crap," Edward said, covering his mouth.
"You know better, Edward Anthony," Esme chastised.
"I know," Edward said, ducking his head.
"Edward! We need you to man the grill," Jasper shouted. "You're the only one who doesn't torch the steaks."
"Be right there," Edward yelled. "Excuse me." Edward gave us a smile and he darted off to grill. Jasper attacked him with a set of barbeque tongs. Edward smacked him upside the head and picked up the tongs and arranged the plate of meat onto the grill.
"He likes you," Esme whispered.
"We're friends," I said, looking at her. "I'm not ready for a relationship. Not yet. I don't know if I ever will be."
"I was married before I met Carlisle. Did you know that?" Esme asked.
"No. I didn't. What happened?" I asked.
"He was abusive and I left him. I was pregnant when he hit me for the first and last time. His strikes caused me to lose the baby. A little boy. I was brought into the hospital by my parents and Carlisle was a medical student. He took care of me as I lost my son," Esme said, her blue eyes filling with tears. "I never thought I'd see the handsome medical student again. However, when I was at my divorce proceeding, Carlisle came. He was there as a representative of the hospital to describe my injuries and how I lost my baby. The judge sentenced my first husband to jail and granted my petition for divorce. Carlisle asked for my phone number and we became 'friends,' quickly. Our friendship grew and we eventually went out a date. They turned into several dates and a year later, we were married. Alice came nine months after that."
"What happened to your first husband?" I asked, in awe of Esme.
"He's still in jail. However, it's because he hit his third wife. He just never learned," she sighed. "However, the moral of my story is that don't discount your 'friends.' I see the way Edward looks at you. It's more than friendship. Or at least, he wants it to be. I haven't seen that look in his eyes in a long time. I haven't seen him this happy since Tanya's death."
"Tell me about her," I requested. "I know she was a psychiatrist and that she was killed by a drunk driver. But that's it."
"It's not my place," Esme replied. "Edward can tell you about her. He seems to have opened up to you. You'll learn about her, in time. But, you should know. The last time I saw the look I see in my nephew's eyes like this was when he was with her. And he loved her very much."
Esme gave me a knowing smile and patted my cheek lovingly. She went outside as she slid on her sunglasses. I stood in shock as I let her words permeate my mind. I sat down on the couch in the family room and leaned forward on my knees. I wasn't ready for anything. Not yet. I can give Edward my friendship, but I'm so hesitant to give him my heart. Or anyone for that matter. The underlying feelings of self-doubt filled my mind as I couldn't fathom why he would be attracted to me. My appearance has improved, but I was nowhere near beautiful.
Edward calls you beautiful. He thinks you are. Believe it, Swan!
I can't. I won't. Shit, why are things so fucking difficult?
"Bella?" Edward called as he came back into the townhome. "Why are you crying?"
I hastily wiped the tears that fell onto my cheeks away. "Bad day. Feeling sorry for myself," I answered honestly.
Edward sat down on the table in front of me, his long legs surrounding mine. "Want to talk about it?" he asked as he wiped an errant tear from my cheek with the pad of his thumb.
I shook my head no and looked for a Kleenex. I found some on the end table and I wiped my face. "Just dealing with…" I said as new tears came down my cheeks. "God, I hate this."
Edward looked at me and he sat down opposite of me on the couch. He pulled me into an embrace and I sobbed into his shoulder. He held me tightly and let me cry, never saying anything. He just let me vent my frustrations. After a few minutes, I pulled away. I unattractively wiped my nose with my hand and gave Edward a watery smile. He wiped a few tears from my cheeks and gave me a smirk. "Better?"
"No. Yes. I've got a headache," I grumbled, pinching my nose with my fingers. "I hate crying."
"I know. I'm with you," Edward said. "I thought I would run out of tears when Tanya died. I never felt so alone. But, I wasn't. I had my family. My friends. My co-workers. They helped me tremendously. I know what I went through was different. Losing a spouse to a tragic accident is one thing. However, losing a spouse to a divorce is another. You need time to grieve. It's still a loss."
I looked down at my fingers and ripped my Kleenex to shreds. "I'm afraid, Edward."
"Why, Bella?" he whispered.
"That I'm going to be alone. Forever," I sniffled. "Who will love me? I couldn't keep my husband satisfied. Who else will want me?"
"You won't be alone, Bella. I promise you," Edward said fervently.
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Edward. My husband promised to love me for the rest of our lives and he cheated," I said bitterly.
"I'm not your asshat ex-husband," Edward said, capturing my chin with his soft, warm hands. "He's a fucking douche for getting rid of you. His loss will be m…another man's gain."
"I'm sorry for turning all 'emo' on you," I sighed.
"Emo?" Edward snorted. "What's that?"
"My sobbing crying mess," I said, sitting back on the couch. "Sorry about your shirt."
"Bella, don't worry about it," he said as he picked at the damp spot on his shoulder. "It was three bucks and I had a 30% off coupon."
"Ahhhh, a man who is economical," I teased. "Smart."
"I try, beautiful," he said, leaning back on the couch, putting his cheek on the cushion.
"Why do you say that?" I asked, looking into his eyes. "I'm not."
"You're not what? Beautiful?" Edward asked. "I wholly disagree. You are smart, compassionate and incredibly beautiful. Both inside and out."
"Don't, Edward," I whispered. "I'm not ready for this."
"I'll wait," he said honestly. "I know that you are reeling from everything that's happened to you in the past few months. But I'll wait for you. I'll be your friend. I'll be your shoulder to cry on. I'll be the stomach you can punch."
"I may break my hand on those abs, Edward," I teased. "They are harder than my granite counter top."
"Whatever," he said, rolling his eyes. "But, I mean it. I've been mourning my wife for nearly three and half years. I'll always love her. She'll hold a special place in my heart. I'm ready to move on. I want to take that step with you, Bella."
"I don't know," I said, looking into his penetrating gaze. "I'm all sorts of fucked up. I'm barely comfortable in my own skin. I'm not ready to be someone else's doormat."
"You would never be a doormat," Edward said, his eyes flashing with anger. "If that's how your ex-husband treated you, then you deserved a hundred times better. If we take the plunge, I want us to be equals. I don't think I can stay away from you, Bella. I honestly can't. You've pulled me in and I…"
"Edward," I said, putting my hand over his mouth. His lips were soft and smooth. "I am attracted to you. Incredibly attracted to you. You make my girlie bits tingle." Edward's brows shot up and he grinned under my hand. I pulled my hand away and blushed. "However, I don't want to rush into anything. I can handle friends. That's about all for right now. I want to try more, but when I'm ready. I don't if I will be ready, to be perfectly honest."
Edward picked my hand and placed it on his chest. I felt the steady thrum of his heartbeat. "You've brought this alive, Bella. I'm willing to wait as long as it takes to get you. All of you. Just so I can feel this." His jade eyes stared into mine and I could see nothing but sincerity. He was incredibly intelligent, kind, compassionate and good-looking. He deserved someone who would be worthy of that. It's not me. "It is you, Bella. I'll wait, patiently, for you."
"Promise you won't push me?" I asked meekly, removing my hand from his chest.
Edward covered my hand with his, keeping it attached to his heart. "I promise. If you want to be friends, then I'll be your friend. If you want more, I will happily give you more. I don't want this to stop. This feeling you've ignited in me. Please?" He jutted out his bottom lip and gave me the most pathetic puppy dog pout ever.
"Remember what I said about the pout, Edward?" I smirked, my heart fluttering.
"Only 8th grade girls can pull it off," Edward replied.
"Are you an 8th grade girl?" I asked.
"No, I'm a 32 year old man who's crushing on a gorgeous brunette," he smirked.
"Who's that?" I joked.
"Funny, Bella," Edward said wryly. "I just laid my heart out on the line for you and you're teasing me. I can so feel the love."
"Patience, Masen. Hopefully it'll pay off," I sighed. "Let me process at my own pace. Friends; that's what I can handle now. In the future, we'll see."
"That's all I'm asking," Edward smiled. "Come on. I have a steak with your name on it."
I nodded and got up from the couch. I ran my fingers through my hair and we walked outside. I put on my shades and took off my blouse. It had gotten much warmer since we'd gone inside. It was after four and people were enjoying their food. I made a plate for myself. Edward insisted I try his filet mignon and I relented. I was never much of a meat eater, but it was good.
As the night progressed, I talked with my co-workers. Angela asked me to stand up for her wedding. I said yes, only if her colors were not pink or pink. She laughed and promised that they wouldn't be. She was aiming for a black and white wedding with teal accents. I could handle black.
I talked to Emmett who was with his latest floozy. She was a red head and dumber than a doornail. I gave him a look and he shrugged, saying she was good in bed. I smacked him and told him that sex was not the only redeeming quality in a person.
At around 8:30, Alice insisted we head to the park across the street from her townhome to watch the fireworks. I grabbed my blanket and we walked to the park, settling into the warm grass. I was shivering slightly as I had gotten a sunburn on my shoulders. I had neglected to put sunscreen on and I was paying for it now. I hate being so fucking pale. I spread out my blanket and sat down on it. Edward was talking with his aunt and uncle. He gave me a lopsided smirk and I grinned shyly back at him. He finished his conversation and he loped over to my blanket. "Can I sit with you?"
"There's more than enough blanket for two," I teased.
He grinned and gracefully sank onto the plaid blanket, crossing his legs, Indian style. I curled up and shivered again. "Are you feeling alright, Bella?"
"I got sunburnt and I'm feeling it now," I said, hugging my knees to my chest. "I'll be fine."
Edward frowned and he felt my forehead. "No fever. Take some advil when you get home and drink some water."
"Yes, Dr. Masen," I chuckled. My teeth chattered in my head and tried to get warm.
"Do you trust me, Bella?" Edward asked. "You're cold and your body is all out of whack. I don't want you sick."
"I can always have this good-looking doctor check me out," I said, arching a brow.
"Who would that be?" Edward said with a seductive purr to his voice.
"Carlisle," I laughed.
"You wound me, Bella. Seriously," he sighed.
"I'm kidding. Jeez, lighten up," I said, shoving his shoulder with mine. It hurt. Ouch. I winced and inhaled sharply, sending a new wave of teeth chattering to occur.
"Come here, Bella. Please?" Edward asked. He spread his legs and patted in between them with his hand. "I'll keep you warm and I promise no funny business."
"Okay," I said as climbed over his legs. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and I did feel warmer. I also felt much safer. I leaned back into his chest and I felt Edward kiss my head again. I didn't bristle as I had the first time he did. I actually welcomed it.
The skies darkened and soon they were filled with the multi-colored fireworks. I watched with rapt attention at the beauty in the sky. However, my body was attuned to the strong man who was holding me. With each firework that lit up the night sky, I felt more and more for him. I know I said I wanted to be his friend, but now I wanted more. His embrace, his warmth and his strength solidified that decision. How soon would I want to pursue something with him? Would I make him happy? Would he make me happy? My mind raced with these questions and I was confused.
I felt Edward sigh behind me and his grip tightened around my waist. I turned around and gave him a smile. He was looking down at me and he returned my grin. His eyes were filled with adoration and respect. They also were filled with love and sincerity.
I definitely want more with you Dr. Masen. I want it all with you.
Perhaps, I will get my happy ending. Edward will be my happy ending. My fresh start.
A/N: They're feeling the fireworks, both literally and figuratively. Leave me love, please :)