I apologize for the wait. I've been working on these chapters for months and they just never felt complete enough to publish.

A very special thank you to Loueze and NotAnIslander for the time they've dedicated to this story, for the time given to me, for being the best cheerleaders any fic deserves, and for their extraordinary beta skills. I'm so lucky to have cyber met you both!

I own nothing, it all belongs to Suzanne Collins.

High School, Junior Prom Night.

"What are you doing here?" He asks from within the shadows, making her jump.

"I've been asking myself that same question!" She answered, wiping the tears from her cheeks. Her face is probably streaked with mascara. "I'm here just making a total idiot of myself in front of our entire class!"

Peeta walked up to her and turned her to face him. In the moonlight he could see her broken expression.

"Katniss what's wrong?" His voice heavy with concern, "Did that asshole-"

"No!" she stopped him. "No, it was nothing like that."

"Then why are you here, in the dark, alone and crying?" he said trying to control his anxiety. Katniss Everdeen never cries. The only time he'd seen her shed a tear was right after her father's funeral and she was only eleven at the time.

Katniss was the strongest person Peeta knew and if anyone had been able to break her, he'd make sure to physically break them.

"Why am I here, Peeta? I don't belong here…" she sobbed.

"What are you talking about, Katniss? It's our Junior Prom, of course you belong here just as much as anyone else in our class." His voice was soft yet held an undertone she couldn't quite make out.

"You know what I mean!" Katniss was just as frustrated as Peeta was feeling. Her body language, her sad voice, there was so much Katniss wasn't saying and he needed answers.

"I don't know-I_"

"I'm awkward" she interrupted. "…and socially unskilled and so skinny I can't even fill in my dress and-and-and, well just look at me!" She raised her voice but it felt good to vent a little.

"I am. I have been all night long." His tone was serious and there was that look in his eye that although she's seen before she just couldn't decipher. "All I've done since we got here is look at you."

"Stop!" She was angry at him, squaring off her shoulders and jutting out her chin at him defensively. "I don't need you to tell me what you think I want to hear. I don't need compliments to feed my ego I…"

"When have I ever lied to you?" Peeta was miffed about being called a liar.

Katniss broke her protective stance and just sobbed. Peeta took another step towards her and she bounced into his arms wrapping hers around his torso burying her face in his jacket.

"I'm sorry" they said to each other in unison.

She let go of him and shook her head. "You don't have to apologize. It was me. I'm sorry for doubting you. I know that you'd never lie to me."

"Then you have to believe me when I say that you are the most beautiful girl here, anywhere, for that matter. You have no idea the effect you can have on people, guys specifically."

She snorted at his statement. "Yeah, that's why nobody asked me to the prom right? That's why I'm here alone, right?"

"You and I agreed to come stag remember?" He tried to get her attention but she wouldn't look at him. "To show Madge solidarity because Gale wouldn't make it back home in time for tonight."

He placed his index finger under her chin and raised her face to look into his eyes.

"Tell me what made Katniss Everdeen cry?" He was serious. "I saw you talking to Dalton a while ago. He came dateless, too. Did he say something?"

Katniss shook her head. "He asked me to dance." She looked sad again and this had Peeta confused. "I tried but just stepped on his toes with my heel and when he bent over, I accidentally elbowed his nose."

She looked mortified all the while Peeta was making an inhuman effort to rein in his amusement. He liked Dalton well enough; he was a nice guy but upheld the same philandering reputation as the rest of his soccer team.

"He's never going to talk to me again." She sniffed and dropped her head in shame. Peeta held the suspicion for a while now that Katniss was harboring somewhat of a crush on their fellow classmate. That stupid Biology project only gave the idiot the chance to get close to Katniss which he did not waste. His previous mirth had turned sour.

"That still doesn't explain why you're hiding in this stairwell and crying. You never cry."

"I feel so out of place, Peeta, humiliated. I can handle being ignored, but I'm not coping well with being laughed at. I-I-I can't dance...something so simple…"

"Who-"

"Glimmer, she saw the whole thing."

"Why is she even here, she's a senior-"the annoyed look on Katniss' face answered him.

"Marvel!" they said in unison.

Just then the soft notes of a slower tune came through the doors to the dance floor. Peeta reached out for Katniss taking her hand in his.

"Come here." He said pulling her toward him. Katniss looked confused

"Peeta what are you doing?"

"When we were kids I told you that there was nothing I could deny you. You want to dance with Dalton…"

It was unnecessary to complete the sentence. He wrapped one hand around her waist pulling her into his embrace and placed their entwined hands against his shoulder and began to sway with her.

"Relax. Look at me and relax. Don't think about your feet, just go with the music." He whispered.

Katniss blushed. She'd been physically close to Peeta before. He's actually slept in her bed with her on several occasions but the way he was looking at her just then and holding her close felt different. So she tried to concentrate on the music and flow with the rhythm instead of giving in to the urge of pulling his face down and kissing him. If Peeta only knew of the war that was raging inside her head, those thoughts about crossing that friendship line and claiming him as hers. If Peeta only knew that she could care less if Glimmer laughed at her because she couldn't dance. Of course Katniss could dance. As a little girl she would spend rainy evenings twirling around with her father while he hummed Sinatra tunes. When he died, dancing had became just as pointless as playing with dolls and only brought her sad memories of happier times, that is until Peeta began to make her heart flutter. If Peeta only knew that her tears were really out of desperation of not knowing how to rein in her feelings toward him anymore. That her heartbreak began when he didn't ask her to the prom. That hearing Georgia Leeg talk about him in the bathroom made her blood boil and then seeing him give into the girl's flirtations, her lame attempts at seduction, was more than she could bare.

Despite it all, here she was with him, her Peeta, in their own private piece of heaven. He made her forget the loneliness of just being his friend.

Peeta on the other hand, finally got to hold her in his arms, twirling in a dance, lost in her eyes, just as he had dreamt about so many, many times. Except that in his dream he got to kiss her at the end and not have to deliver her into another's arms. So when the song came to an end, Peeta leaned in and whispered in her ear. "He'd be stupid not to fall at your feet." He released her from his clasp and took a step back trying to give her the most sincere smile he could muster.

She was dazed and took a second to break out of the trance his warmth had her under and found herself surprisingly cold and empty. It had felt so perfect to be aligned to Peeta, like he was the missing puzzle piece to her own body, she didn't want to leave. Would it be so terrible to spend the rest of the prom here, with him, dancing in their own little world? She'd leave it all behind for him if he asked. Problem is, he didn't ask.

She tried to return his smile and stepped back into the dance floor. She'll dance with the person who showed interest, letting Peeta get back to Georgia Legg.

Once she located Dalton she walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and beamed at her. "There you are." At least those were the words that Peeta was able to make out, standing in the shadows, one hand in his pocket, while the other loosened the tie around his neck, defeated. He didn't take his eyes off of them as the other boy led Katniss, his Katniss onto the dance floor.

At the end of the song, even though Dalton asked her to join him for some punch, all Katniss wanted to do was run and find Peeta. She scanned room and found him quickly, across the dance floor with Georgia Leeg wrapped around his arm, laughing hysterically at something he said. She was pretty enough, Katniss thought but couldn't control the unsettling feeling she had in the pit of her stomach.

Katniss gave Peeta the weekend to cool off, but by Monday, she was distracted by the lack of activity of her cell phone. Johanna would walk by and shoot her curious looks but didn't actually say anything, despite Katniss being unusually quiet.

When Tuesday came around, her heart began to sink with a kind of uneasiness that she hadn't felt in years. He had promised to leave her alone, hadn't he? Only she didn't want him to, she needed to see him, like she probably never had before. Just how angry was he?

A knock came to her door, and Rue and Vic came in with their hands full of ornament boxes and glue pens and containers filled with some sort of metallic powder.

"Can we work here?" they asked with an air of desperation. The holiday party was only two weeks away and they still had hundreds of ornaments to personalize in time for the event. Peeta was supposed to help with the task but they explained, he hadn't been returning their calls or texts all weekend and when they finally did reach him, he was too busy to give them any time. That desperation that they felt for an incomplete project was suddenly rubbing off onto her but for different reasons.

Wednesday was pretty much the same thing. Rue and Vic made a home of her office, their task sprawled across the couch, while she worked, or pretended to work. She was much too distracted with thoughts of Peeta to actually do anything productive. She skipped lunch that day in lieu of staring at her computer screen and didn't even hear Rue and Vic leave. It wasn't until Johanna cleared her throat that Katniss looked up from the report she held in her hands. Johanna had her arms crossed across her chest and was leaning against the door jamb. Katniss looked up at her and slightly shook her head letting her head fall into her now empty hands.

Johanna stepped inside and closed the door to the office.

"What happened?" She sat in the chair directly across from Katniss.

Katniss rubbed her face as if willing herself to awaken from a dream and took a deep breath. "Life is fucked up."

Johanna's eyebrows rose in question, cursing was not part of Katniss' vocabulary without the help of alcohol.

"All your actions have consequences," Katniss continued, "whether you think about those possibilities or not. Somehow, everything comes back to you."

All of a sudden all the feelings Katniss has been trying to suppress since Friday night came crashing down on her like a tidal wave. Fear and confusion and guilt and why not, even the hurt, wanted to engulf her whole.

"He's angry and he's hurt and he's been carrying that weight on his shoulders for eight years now, Johanna…" Her throat tightens and she can't say anymore.

Johanna reaches across the desk and squeezes Katniss' hand. "Wait…eight years already?"

"Yeah!" Katniss breathes. "Can you believe that anniversary was the night we hung out on the wharf?" Katniss tried to smile but merely grimaced.

"What happened?" Johanna's voice was heavy with concern. "I thought you were getting along. I thought…well we all thought you'd both found your way back to each other."

"All?" Katniss asked.

"Prim called."

Katniss snorted then leaned back on her chair letting her head hang.

"I thought so too. Now, I'm not really sure. We went out to dinner Friday night. One minute we were fine, the next he's upset, practically yelling about how I denied him closure all those years ago, accusing me of not caring about him, he even blamed Darius at one point."

"Darius? How did he-"

"He said he saw a picture of us together, and then another time at the movies…I mean what are the odds? Peeta lives way on the other side of town and Darius lives in the next county? Not that I was hiding anything back then, but I never saw him with his girlfriend. Peeta just wasn't someone I expected to run into nor did I think he even cared at that point. I just assumed he had moved on."

Johanna smiles sadly. "It's a small world."

Katniss was very solemn. "There was a moment in which I thought I saw hatred in his eyes." She shakes her head while closing her own.

Johanna shakes her head adamantly. "No, no way. That man loves you much too much to ever hate you."

"After he drove me home, he told me that he'd never really stopped loving me." Katniss' was hollow.

"Katniss, if you're messed up now, I can only imagine how bad he must look and feel. There is no doubt in my mind that this craziness between you two is meant to be."

"You want to hear the irony in all of this?" Katniss raises her head to look at Johanna. "I was ready to tell him that I love him too. That he was all I could think about the whole time I was away. That I don't ever want to be apart from him again. And that I was willing to do anything in my power to make us work, together."

"Was? You don't feel that anymore?"...

Katniss shrugs. "I don't know if my feelings matter anymore."

"I don't understand why he's angry? What did you do? Why are you so defeated?"

"He wanted to know why I never looked him up after I found out the truth about the night he slept with Chloe. He said he tried to find me to no avail."

Johanna slammed her hand on the desk. "You see? I knew it, I knew that was why he came looking for you that time. Aww, man!" She covered her face with her hand.

"He asked me if Darius had anything to do with my disregarding him so blatantly. So I told him everything."

"You told him everything? He knows about Chloe?" Johanna's wide eyes were filled with surprise.

Katniss nods. "To say he was shocked would be an understatement."

"I'll bet…that's a whole lot to unload on the guy." Johanna takes a deep breath. "I don't want to be that person that says 'I told you so,' but I told you so, Katniss. Time and time again if memory serves me right. Even after you broke up with Darius, remember, to at least drop Peeta a line if you didn't want to talk to him."

Katniss hides her face in her hands once again and groans. "I don't know what to do. I've given him days to cool off hoping he'd get in touch but he isn't even communicating with Vic or Rue."

Johanna huffs. "Dude, you have to go to him. There's no way around it. Show him that you care enough to put yourself aside and be there for him, for when he's ready."

"He promised he wouldn't come around anymore, that he'd leave me alone, you know? What if I show up and he kicks me out? How do I deal with that?"

Johanna's face falls in incredulity. "That's a bridge you'll have to cross when you get there. You love him don't you?" Her voice was heavy with annoyance.

Katniss nods.

"Then putting yourself out there shouldn't be a problem. He should be your main focus, shouldn't he?" Her tone was clipped.

Katniss nodded again.

"Besides he was messed up enough before to end up in therapy-"

"Wait, what? How do you know?"

"He and I share a therapist, okay. Ran into him once or twice at his office. Nothing more to tell." Her answer was barely a whisper.

"But you…him….?" The thought of the very independent and self-sufficient Johanna Mason asking for help was something Katniss couldn't fathom.

"My therapies are personal and not something I share. Not even with you, sorry. And if I don't talk about my own shit, why would I reveal someone else's? I figured if he wanted you to know, he'd tell you himself."

Katniss looked so sad and guilty that Johanna softened up. "Look Brainless, I don't see him turning his back on you. He waited a long time to get you back and if you're sure you want him, I say take the bull by the horn and go after him. And let all the pieces fall where they may."

Katniss nods wiping her eyes the unshed tears that welled up with thoughts of Peeta. "You're right. It's up to me to go to him, to fight for us, but Johanna…" she hesitated. "I'm scared."

Peeta had a miserable weekend. He wanted nothing more than to spend all day Saturday at home on his couch, drinking beer and feeling sorry for himself for being such an idiot. After all, he has spent what seems like a lifetime longing for something, someone that the closer he gets to obtaining, the more elusive it becomes.

Yet, his sense of responsibility seems to always get the best of him. He sucked in his sour mood and dragged himself down to the bakery where he devoted everything he could into his work, paying an excessive amount of time to every detail, in the Jackson's super-hero, super huge birthday cake; the cupcake tower for the Gellman's bar mitzvah, the petit fours pastries for the Simpson's tea time baby shower.

Baking proved very beneficial as means of distraction, enough to concentrate on his work and not dwell on the conundrum Katniss presented, and enough to be able to present a decent front that didn't attract unwanted attention from his family. The last thing he wanted to deal with was his mother hovering, fearful of another melt down on his part or maybe something worse. Not that it was necessary, his misery might be great but his desperation wasn't. Nonetheless, in the solitude of his apartment, his mind wandered towards the sadness he tried to keep at bay, and unable to control the overwhelming sense of loss he pulled out his paint brushes and poured his soul into the blank canvas.

Bright and early that Monday morning, Peeta called the good Dr. Aurelius and discussed his most recent episode, worried that maybe his family had been right all along and that maybe he'd been taking himself down a path of no return by trying to be friends with Katniss.

Rye grew up as the goof ball in the family. He was charming and handsome and never without female companionship for very long but never having anything meaningful, either. Intelligent and a bit rebellious, often purposely walking into trouble and then wittingly talking himself out of it, and always, always getting his way. More often than not, he came across as self absorbed and entitled, but beneath it all, Rye Mellark was fiercely devoted and loyal to his family and especially to his baby brother.

It was no wonder, that Rye immediately noticed a change in Peeta's demeanor. The glow that illuminated Peeta the weeks prior had dulled. He was quiet and sullen, keeping to himself, a little too déjà vu for Rye's liking. Peeta thought he was pulling off a nonchalant attitude that didn't have Rye fooled for a second. But if experience taught him anything, it was to give Peeta space. Forcing answers out of the youngest sibling never lead anywhere positive, he must be coaxed into opening up. Peeta was good at talking with strangers, good for the sell, but he had nothing on Rye when it came to the family. So Rye made idle talk about the unusual warm weather for the month of December and the orders for fruit cake that seem to be piling up, and waited.

"Can you imagine? Who gives out fruitcake anymore? Who eats fruitcake? I never really cared for the thing and we make it!"

Peeta continues to knead the dough in his hands as if he hadn't heard Rye ramble on and on for the past two hours.

"So where are the Wonder Twins tonight? Kind of got used to having them around." Rye pried.

The comment caught Peeta's attention. "Who?" he asked without looking up from the dough.

"The kids that have been hanging around the past week, thought they'd be here tonight."

Peeta was so far gone in his own thoughts he didn't notice the way Rye was looking at him fishing for information.

"Katniss hasn't been around in a while, either," he said more cautiously, lowering his voice.

That made Peeta cease his motions and slowly look up at his brother making an inhuman effort to mask the hurt on his face at the mention of her name.

"They won't be coming around anymore."

If it were anyone but Rye, Peeta's composed answer would have seemed believable.

"And why is that?" Rye asked.

"Work. They have a lot of work." Peeta tried to shrug off the comment as if he was indifferent to the situation but again, Rye wasn't fooled.

"I thought you had a lot of loose ends to tie up with that event, or isn't that what you told mom?" Rye's eyes met with Peeta's as if daring him to convince him.

"I did, they're taking care of it. My responsibility is with the food, remember?"

That was it, what Rye was looking for, a rise out of his brother. Peeta's tone was a little louder, a little harsher, a tad defensive but desperate to be heard.

"Well you could've fooled me, with all the extra time you've put in all these weeks." Rye half smiled at his brother.

Peeta took a long and deep breath and directed his attention back to the dough. "Oh by the way, Rye, I need you to trade all your opening shifts with me this week, maybe next week, too."

Rye narrowed his eyes at him. "Sure, if you can tell me exactly why you can't close?"

"Work stuff," Peeta replied shortly, sounding annoyed.

"Well since it's work stuff, you open in the morning but don't forget that we have that cookie thing coming up so you'll have to be here tomorrow after closing anyway."

"Fine," Peeta huffs.

The next evening found the two brothers in the bakery kitchen together again. Peeta was exhausted from having opened that morning. He tried napping during the day but sleep was evading him and he knew that work fatigue had nothing to do with it. The staff had gone home for the day and it was time to close the shop. Rye was taking care of storing the day's left over's and Peeta had just walked out front to lock the doors, when suddenly he ran into the back.

"Rye, go cover the front for me, please?"

"Dude, kind of busy here. Just tell whoever it is, that we're closed!"

The chime of the doorbell rang.

"Rye, please, please do this for me?" Peeta implored in whispered agony. This caught Rye's attention. When he turned and looked at his brother, he didn't see the 33 year old man, he saw the child that would hide from their mother, afraid of her anger and needed for Rye to cover for him. He held out the trays he was about to wash toward Peeta and wiped his hands on his apron.

"Whatever you do, just remember that I'm not here, okay?" Peeta said taking the trays from his brother. Rye disappeared into the front. Peeta placed the trays on the work table and leaned against the wall next to the door where he could still hear any conversation coming from the front.

"Katniss Everdeen, are you a sight for sore eyes!" he heard Rye greet her.

"Rye, it's been a long time." Her tone held slight surprise. What Peeta couldn't see was her shoulders slump or the look of disappointment that she was unable to mask.

"Yes, it has."

Peeta could hear a slight ruffling as if the two hugged.

"How have you been?" she asked politely.

"Good, good, good! Can't complain, keeping very busy these days. I hear you've done great for yourself, Congratulations!"

Peeta can just imagine his brother's cocky smile.

"Oh, no big deal. Thank you, but I didn't really know what I was getting myself into," she said.

"Peety said you were Department Manager? That sounds like a pretty big deal especially in a firm like yours."

"Well, since you put it that way, thanks." Her voice shook nervously.

"Mason still working with you?"

"Yes, she is."

"Tell her I said 'Hi!'"

Katniss chuckles. "I will or not, you could tell her yourself." She clears her throat. "Yeah, umm…we're working on the seating chart and I umm…was wondering if umm…we can count with your attendance at the function?"

No, thought Peeta. Say no. Or yes, say yes. All of a sudden Peeta's heart was beating wildly. He frowned at the internal battle his brain and heart were having. He had a plan and that was to leave her alone, and for him to carry out this ill-thought of a scheme, he needed to stay as far away from her as possible and not be in her vicinity much less in her presence, her intoxicating presence that would melt away his resolve.

"That's very nice of you." He heard Rye respond. "We usually don't stay; we set up and give any last minute directions to the staff leader and leave. Anything that needs to be picked up gets done the morning after."

Good, he thought. That's a good answer, Rye.

Peeta can hear Katniss clear her throat again picking up on her nervousness.

"I figured as much, but it would be a great opportunity for me to introduce you to Effie Trinket, the P.R. director, get you a step closer to the big Anniversary Gala, next year."

Damn business, thought Peeta. That's right, he had completely forgotten about that dinner. It would be a great opportunity for Three Bros, Inc. he had to admit, but that meant dealing with her and he just didn't feel he had it in him anymore.

On his part, Rye was touched that Katniss had the wherewithal to think about their livlihood

"Yeah, Peety mentioned that."

Rye and Katniss are quiet for a moment. Peeta wishes he could just poke his face and see what they were doing. He should have hid in the deli, she never would have seen him in the darkness.

"You don't have to answer right now. Think about it and text me as soon as you decide. Of course you are all welcomed to join us"

"That's very gracious of you Katniss, thank you."

"Would it be okay if I spoke to Peeta?" she breathed although he was still able to hear her. His heart started beating fast again.

"Ummm, he's not here. He stepped out on a spice run…yeah; we ran out of cinnamon and hurried over to our 'rents house for more."

Peeta winced. Rye did not sound convincing at all, almost like he was deliberately admitting to lying.

"Spice run." Katniss repeated suspiciously, the nervousness gone from her voice. "A bakery is out of cinnamon of all spices?" she chuckled, "and your surplus is stored at your parents' house?"

"Uh, my dad turned the basement into this awesome pantry" he chuckled.

"Come on, Rye, you used to be better than that."

She knows. Even if Rye hadn't come up with such a bogus lie, she knew Peeta was there.

"Katniss-"

"Rye, I know he's avoiding me. I'm trying to give him the space he needs, but I'd like to speak with him if he gives me the chance…when he's ready."

"Katniss I don't know what's going on…I…" his voice both sincere and apologetic.

"That's okay. You're a good brother protecting him. Just let him know… that I need him… not the party consultant, not anyone other than just him…just Peeta."

Peeta's heart melts. She needs him. She just admitted to his brother that she needs him.

What am I doing, he thought. He stopped himself short of banging his hard head against the wall.

Peeta can't see that Rye gives Katniss a sad smile and a slight nod with his head.

He hears them say their goodbyes, the front door chimes and the lock is turned. He rushes the empty trays over to the sink to begin washing them.

"You can stop pretending. I know you were listening. I should have just dragged her back here and let you two have it all out once and for all, instead of this running around." Rye sounds exasperated. "I don't know what happened, I really don't know if I care. But she looks just as shitty as you do." His voice was accusatory.

Peeta's knuckles are turning white from gripping the edge of the sink so hard.

"Peet, I thought this was what you wanted, what you had been holding onto all these years, to get her back. What's up with you?"

Peeta slowly turns his face towards his brother, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "I don't know, Rye. I'm so tired."

Rye feels defeated at the sight of his brother. He walks towards him and places his hand over his shoulder. "Of what, Peeta?"

"Of the ache, the longing, the emptiness."

Rye wraps his brother in a strong embrace. "Sit down, I'll get us something to drink and we'll talk."

With a six pack of beer at hand, Peeta tells Rye everything about the conversation the other night with Katniss, everything he threw at her, from his feelings of abandonment to her failed relationship, to the mess with the intern.

"Well, shit!"

"I know. The whole thing with the intern..." Peeta stumbled over her name "-I forget her name, seemed like a dirty twist of fate, meant to make the wound even deeper."

"Peety, can you really blame Katniss for just wanting to forget?" Rye asked gently.

"No, not really." His voice was sad.

"Think about it, let's say she cheated on you and you leave her. Then the dude she slept with, becomes the bakery's best client coming in every morning for his bagel and coffee and you being you, become all friendly with him. So he gets comfortable and starts telling you about all the hot sex he had with this one chick he met at a bar once but hasn't run into ever since. At the end it turns out it's Katniss. Being a guy, you might beat the shit out of him, or then maybe not. But what do you do afterwards, would you run to her? Even though you had been told of every sweaty detail to the point that you had painted a very graphic picture in your head of these two strangers going at it?"

"I get it Rye, I really do." Peeta is disgusted about the scenario that Rye depicted remembering how he felt years ago when Cressida had unknowingly caught Katniss going at it with her then boyfriend.

"Don't get me wrong, you had a right to expect something, anything from her." Rye added, while Peeta drops his face fall into his hands

"Look, I saw what losing her did to you, how it broke you. Maybe if she had liberated you from all that guilt you were carrying you might have found some closure but do you really think you would have moved on? Forgotten about her?"

Peeta stares at his brother dumbfounded.

"I don't know Rye. Maybe Katniss wouldn't have become such an obsession. Maybe I could've had a better chance with Cressida, I don't know?"

Rye shakes his head in disbelief. "How do you mean?"

"Cressida is an amazing woman, if I hadn't been so hung up on Katniss, I might have been able to love Cress."

"Do you believe that?" Rye looked skeptical.

Peeta stood up from his stool and started pacing the kitchen. He stops and turns to his brother, "No."

"So what now, you guys have it out and that's it; party's literally over, see you next time?"

"Yeah, pretty, much." Peeta's tone turned morose. "I promised to leave her alone and disappear once the contract was fulfilled. I'm trying to keep my end of the deal."

"She didn't look like she was very happy with her end of your deal; I'd say it was quite the opposite."

"I told you I don't know what to do" he whispered.

Rye stands up and walks toward Peeta. In a loving gesture he pats the younger man's head. "I'm going to ask you a very stupid question but, are you still in love with her?"

"Yes."

"Have you ever not been, in all these years, have you ever stopped loving her?"

"No."

"Then you know what to do."

"Weren't you trying to warn me about her a couple months ago?"

"No. Not about her," Rye grinned. "I was trying to warn you about you, but there is no point to that is there?"

Peeta chuckles.

"Besides, anyone looking out for my business' best interest is okay in my book."

Rye's comment made Peeta smile.

"What happens next is up to you, Peeta. She reached out to you. Now it's up to you.

Katniss blinked droplets from her lashes as it took a second to realize she was sitting on her shower floor, the cold water shocking her back into reality. Somehow after leaving the bakery, she'd managed to arrive home and get into the shower although she doesn't remember doing any of it.

She shut the water and let the inertia of her routine take over. With a mug of her favorite cinnamon tea, and the television droning on before her, she sat on her couch staring at nothing, listening to nothing, trying to keep her mind blank and avoid feeling anything. She was falling apart. She didn't want to think about the pity she saw in Rye's eyes or of the hollow she felt in her chest. She didn't want to give her mind the chance to dwell on the humiliating dejection she'd just put herself through but least of all she didn't want to think about Peeta, or his blue eyes that she missed so much or his strong arms that were always so warm.

She looked around her living room, from the ceiling to the walls. She looked at all its furnishings, pictures and embellishments, this was her home. Yet, it didn't feel like a home. This was just a room, a rather large and empty room that only served to house her. She shivered. It was a cold night and she hadn't turned the heat on when she arrived and her hair was still dripping onto her back. She didn't bother find any comfort and just sat there, relishing on the sadness that was overtaking her. It hit her like a ton of bricks to realize that she would never have a home again.

Peeta was her home and he was gone from her.

It was the harsh knock on her door that made her realize that tears had rolled down her cheeks. She hastily wiped them off as Johanna let herself in.

"Am I glad you're still up, you won't believe the horrible date I just had!" And her friend helped herself to a beer from Katniss' refrigerator and regaled her with the date from hell.

"Since when does wearing a low cut blouse mean "Advance to Go and collect a free grope?" she huffed indignant. "Asshole! He just leaned in and stuck his hand in my blouse."

"What did you do" Katniss asked her friend in a small voice, while picking invisible lint off of her sweats. She knew that if she made eye contact, Johanna would see right through her.

"I got up threw my martini in his face and as he was standing up, I punched him in the nose."

This made Katniss chuckle and turned to look at her. She was right, one look at her and Johanna's triumphant smile fell. She put her beer on the side table and kneeled in front of Katniss.

"You went to him tonight, didn't you?" She asked concerned.

Katniss just nodded and let the sadness flow. She was tired of being strong, of pretending she could survive any storm.

"Tell me everything."

So she regaled Johanna with the details of her horrible evening, her encounter with Rye and the humiliation of having him lie on behalf of Peeta to avoid seeing her.

"But are you sure he was there"

"He was there." Katniss said between sniffles. "He just doesn't want to see me and I don't begrudge him that. I wouldn't want to see me either…I'm….I'm upset with myself."

"Katniss-"

"No, Johanna. It's true. It hurts to think that maybe because I just didn't care enough to make amends for something I knew wasn't his responsibility I might have let the best years go by, and I don't mean for me but for him. He's been stuck in this reality that didn't let him move on. In my pain, my stubbornness, my selfishness, I held him back from becoming the boy-man he wanted to be." she sobbed. "I broke him just as much as Finnick did; the one person who always wanted me just the way I am."

Johanna handed Katniss the box of tissues that sat on a side table at the other end of the couch and took a seat next to her, wrapping her arms around her friend.

"But don't you dare feel sorry for me. I don't deserve compassion. I made my bed now I'm lying in it…" Katniss said through her tears.

"So now what?" she asked leaning her head on Katniss' shoulder once the latter was more composed.

"I don't know what to do; I'm in the dark here." Johanna stared at Katniss speechless. She didn't know how to help her friend.

"I've lost hope, Johanna. He was the light in my life, and now…now there's only love in the dark." Katniss shook her head in self-pity.

"Nothing I can say, a total eclipse of the heart." Johanna sang without thinking.

Katniss rolled her eyes and turned to glare at her.

"I'm sorry. Your words immediately reminded me of that song which I happen to have heard on my way home."

Katniss stared at her friend incredulously for a moment and they both burst out laughing.

"Don't make fun of my feelings."

"I'm not." Johanna defended herself giving Katniss a hug. "Hey are you hungry? Horny son of a bitch got all handsy after the second round of drinks, didn't even buy me dinner, can you believe that?"

Katniss chuckled and shrugged. Her friend was trying to distract her and for that she was grateful.

"Let's order out and after some food in our systems, we can come up with a plan or whatever. Sound good?" Johanna was abrasive and crass and fiercely protective and nurturing of the ones she loved.

"Sure."

Peeta worked diligently and spoke little. He sat in his studio, while the sun hitting his face illuminated the room, surrounded by swirls of colors. Canvas after canvas, Peeta poured his feelings and frustrations into his art. He was confused, unsure how to feel anymore. It had been a week since Katniss showed up in the bakery and it would be useless to try and pretend he didn't miss her. He did, terribly. He wanted to hear her voice, touch her face, look into her eyes. He just wanted to be in her proximity.

I need him.

Her words played over and over in his head.

I need him.

The anger had ebbed, morphing more into a deep melancholy. His conversations with Rye and a quick visit to Dr. Aurelius, had made him look outside of his own perspective. It had to have been difficult for her, there was no doubt about it. The more the ideas danced in his head, the more things made sense to him.

Katniss has always been unforgiving. The relationship with her mother took years to mend. When her father died, Mrs. Everdeen distanced herself from her daughters becoming practically absent in their lives during the rough years that followed. Katniss had to fend not only for herself but for her sister as well. She was forced to grow up too soon without guidance and without the support and safety a parent must provide. So she became closed off with trust issues. To others, she came across as arrogant and aloof. Peeta knew the real Katniss, the girl who was fiercely loyal and loving. But he also knew that once her trust was broken, it was gone for good.

Then a conversation with Katniss came to mind.

It had been over a month ago, back on a Saturday they'd spent together driving around town looking at bands for the event.

"So how is Finnick?" She asked out of the blue. They had just finished discussing the benefits of hiring a fully orchestrated swing band as opposed to a D.J.

"He's doing good." Peeta answered with a frown. He had no idea why Katniss would ask about Finnick of all people.

"You guys keep in touch?" She was smoothing out her skirt over her thighs. That particular movement caught his attention even though he was driving.

"No, not really. Not so much anymore. We only grew further apart after he got married and then his job…"

"He's married?" Her tone was incredulous and a bit condescending. The thought of a married Finnick O'Dair was hard to fathom. He had always been an incurable philandering flirt. Of course, that was before…

"Yeah, he married a cousin of mine, if you can believe that? They live two counties over. They have a kid."

They came to a red light.

"Your cousin? Wow, small world."

He nods watching her as she pretends to lose interest in the conversation and gazing out the passenger window. It's when she starts to fiddle with her left earlobe that he knows she has something on her mind.

Katniss took a deep breath turning back to Peeta.

"This is what I meant the other night about you having a big heart." She was wistfully looking at his face.

"Hmm. How do you mean?" He narrowed his eyes in confusion. The light turned green and his attention was forced back onto the road.

"You were able to put everything aside and forgive Finn. I don't know if I could have gone back to the way things were before."

He rubs the back of his neck.

"Things didn't go back to the way they were before. Too much had changed although we both made an effort." Peeta answers very matter-of-factly.

She turns back to stare out the window."I might not have tried."

"Katniss, besides you and Delly, Finnick is my oldest friend. To see him lying there in that hospital…it made me change my outlook. Despising him wasn't going to get you back. He had enough dealing with his own self-hatred without having mine added to the mix. So I let it go." There was sadness in his voice. Katniss turned to look at him.

"I…I understood his pain. I knew where the despondence came from…"

Katniss stared at Peeta curiously.

"I was in the same dark place he'd been. I just dealt with it differently than he did and had a better support system. If it hadn't been for my dad and brothers, even my mom…" his thoughts seem far off. "I don't know…"

Katniss turned her face towards the window again, trying to hide the tears that welled up in her eyes. He'd never been so open about his emotional turmoil during their time apart. Katniss had found outlets to her pain, a way to avoid it and not let it consume her. Apparently Peeta had not and it was because of her.

No. It was because of Finnick. No matter how understanding Peeta might be, Katniss was not in that same place and the anger boiled within her.

"I've always admired that about you, how you don't ever seem to hold a grudge. I'm a little more resentful."

Peeta just smiled at her.

Rye chose that moment to walk into the studio breaking Peeta away from his memories.

"I knew I'd find you here." His voice was cheerful and upbeat, he was in a good mood for some reason.

"Hey" was all Peeta could answer.

"So I have to r.s.v.p. to this thing Peety. How many should I put us down for?"

He looked up from his canvas towards his brother. The middle Mellark was smirking at him.

"Are you taking a date?" Peeta asked.

Rye's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "No. I figured this was a work function. Meet who we need to meet, have a drink and leave." He shrugged. "A date would probably get in the way of business."

Peeta nodded in agreement. "Then put us down for one." He got up towards the table where he kept mason jars full of paint brushes to look for a specific tip. He could feel his brother's eyes on him.

"So this is it, Peeta? You're throwing in the towel?" Rye was standing with his hands on his hips, his shoulders tense, and his frustration obvious.

"I made a promise. I'm a man of my word."

Rye scowled at him. "Cut the shit. Just stop already." He turned to walk out of the studio and stopped at the door. After taking a deep breath he turned to Peeta. "You know that what I respected the most about you was your faith, Peeta. You had a dream and you didn't let go of it no matter how impossible it seemed. That and the determination you have to see it through."

The younger brother stood by the table staring at nothing in particular.

"And I'll be honest with you that for a while it made me angry to see and to know that Katniss was that one dream you held on to so vehemently. I even hated her for it, given that she didn't seem to care two cents about you. At the same time I would tell myself that since things seem to work themselves out because of that faith, and that I should be patient, I should be supportive."

Rye's tone had turned angry. "And here you are a step away from that getting that dream and you're ready to walk away from it."

"Rye, it's not that simple."

"Life is not simple, Peeta!" He said raising his voice. "You should know that by now. For us, life has never been simple."

He snapped his head away from Rye in annoyance.

"She's fucked up, you're fucked up, I'm fucked up. Dude, we're human, that in itself makes us fucked up. Why? Because we're stupid, fickle emotional beings that don't seem to ever learn from past mistakes and keep stepping on the same shit over and over again. Because we don't realize how precious and short life is and we waste so much time."

Peeta ran his hands through his hair, frustrated.

"You're angry at her for holding you back, but I only see you holding yourself back, Peeta. If you wake up tomorrow and realize she's disappeared from your life again, you're going to feel shittier than you do now. Regret is a bitch to live with Peety, let me tell you."

"I don't know what to do."

"You look for her. She won't come again. She knows you're avoiding her. She took that first step now it's your turn. You go to her and you sit her down and you talk, and you talk, and you talk. Neither of you get angry or defensive and you both cry it out. And I know that won't fix everything but it's a start. And you come to the agreement to work on your relationship and not let the ghosts of the past get in the way and you agree to make an ungodly effort to make it work. And because I know you, baby brother, I know you will succeed because you love this woman and once you set your mind to something nothing stands in your way. And she may have not said it to you but it's obvious how much she loves you, too!"

Peeta looks at Rye in shock with eyes wide open. "You think she loves me?"

"Peeta you are so stupid sometimes and I say it with love. Tell me you'll think about it." Rye stared at his brother until wordlessly, Peeta nodded.

Rye released a sigh of relief and patted Peeta's shoulder. "It's gonna take a lot of painstaking work, be warned. There is no such thing as happily ever after, if you want something to last you fricken work at it. If you aren't going to make the effort, then don't buy into the fairytale."