Nah, just kidding… Happy April fools
Yet another bonus: April fools
(=A=) (Sorry for the inactivity, we'll update when we have a chance -or when we get rid of writers block-)
Disclaimer: We don't own Hetalia, rupees, and so on…
Also thanks CrimsonLaurana for favoring this story that doesn't update often
(Author note)
This is written by both
And we may be Mexicans and celebrate Dia de los inocentes (december 28) but our school it trilingual so in France and United stated (and a bunch of other countries) celebrate on this day
[Mathiew's POV]
I would like to say that I awoke to the singing of creatures that I had ignored their existence before I had died, but sadly life (death?) is not like that. My weird activity clock began ringing with a high pitched annoying alarm before it began turning madly.
"Eh? What in the name of maple is happening!?" I said alarmed, the clock kept at it until it fell down, after that it stayed silent…
I got up and did my morning routine before going to school but this time besides wearing my red hoodie on I also took a small bottle of maple syrup. Giving a quick look to the clock that Arthur gave me I noticed it was early for me to leave… flying.
As I walked down the hall of my dormitory area a red, neon blue, neon orange and neon green object tackled me
"Whoa! What's this?" I quickly stood up and took some distance from the weird object… yet somehow it was familiar…
"FOOD~" It said and got close to me, the way he closed on me reminds me of…
"Kuma?" I said tentatively "Is that you?"
"Who are you?" It tilted its head. That action made me sure that it was him
Looking at Kuma closely, I noticed that the once white fur had been dyed neon green on the tips of his ears; the paws had been dyed neon orange and made a fiery pattern, the back had been pulled up into a crest and dyed neon blue and finally face had been painted with red, circles for the eyes, on the cheeks a line with two dots below it and on the snout a symbol that looked like the outline of a rupee, on the inside there were three small vertical lines, the middle one a bit longer, and a horizontal one crossed the middle all the way to the outline, slightly getting out of it, with a slight curvature and a dot at the bottom and at the top of the middle line
"Mathiew, your owner… what happened to you?" I said as I knelt beside him and inspected the damage
"Don't know, woke like this" Kuma began grooming himself
"What where you doing outside?" I said as I stood up
"Looking for berries" And now I noticed the stains on his mouth 'Well since I have time I'll ride Kuma to school'
"Kuma can you take me to school?" I said while I scratched his ears
"Sure, whatever is your name" I facepalmed and got on his back
After a while of walking and since the author is too lazy to write it…
(Shut up)
"But that´s true! Don´t you dare to deny it, and you should be working"
(You know that I can control you, don´t you?… and stop breaking the dam fourth wall!)
"Dam?"
(Percy Jackson reference…)
So it was because of you I suffered through a lot!
(er… And Mathiew went unconscious and didn´t remember anything from this talk)
"What?" And I blacked out
Everything was still black but I could feel some motion.
"Is he awake?" I felt something soft and furry against my cheek "Luna let him sleep"
I opened my eyes and looked around, we were near the school and I had a guinea pig on my face.
"Oh, you're awake, Luna get down" Liz instructed her guinea pig, Diana was dozing off on the back and Daniel was riding? Controlling? the sled of guinea pigs and dogs.
"And Kuma?" my voice sounded a bit off but I dismissed it as a trick of my sleepy mind.
"He is running along with us" Daniel replied as he stopped slowly the sled "Here we are" he took off the reigns from the guinea pigs and dogs
"come on Mathiew, let's go" I felt a bit wobbly as I stood
"We need to leave" and the hispanic trio ran to school
[Arthur's POV]
Two words: bloody hide.
Except that I cannot go and hide.
April Fools is a festivity very much appreciated and practiced among the younger angels. And I bloody hate it. Last year someone spilled oil in the hallway and let's just say some angels must still have awfully clear memories of me slipping all the way to the stairs and then rolling down them.
"But not this year," I say to myself as I sip from my tea. Now I'm permanent supervisor of the school of Compund K, the main reason why I can't go and hide in this dreadful day. I'm not the principal, since schools don't really have principals (his holy lord says that, as celestial beings we are, we should be able to conduce ourselves properly without threats and superiors trailing behind us) but is just as if I were. I do make threats and I do trail behind trouble-maker students. I was even allowed to apply the system of reports.
It's not like they have any parents to answer to or any low grades that will keep them from going to college (hell, you could say the school is their college), but it has worked so far, since most of them are still so used to their human schools that automatically associate the word 'report' with trouble. And for those who don't, well, I just gladly spread stacks of papperwork or hours cleaning the school after classes (don't ask me why there is so much papperwork out of nowhere. I've been wondering that myself since I died).
I lean back on my chair with my cup in hand and glance around my office. Since I've just been assigned the post of supervisor the office is basically like they gave it to me, empty, with just my desk, a small table with an electric stove and a box of tea above it and a clock hanging on the wall. I empty the cup and leave it over the desk before exiting the room, not caring to lock the door, as no one really knows my office is there, I think.
The classes began short ago and I just have to take a scroll to make sure everything is in order. I watch my steps carefully, though, and keep glancing at all sides, but I make it through the third and second floor with nothing out of the ordinary. A few screams coming from the classrooms, that I recognize as teachers', but I can just shake my head as I walk by, occasionally looking through the windows. I see Mei trying to shake off flour from her vizont's fur (why is the vizont even here?), Ludwig gaping at his briefcase, Vlad over the desk shrieking at a spider on the floor (seriously, he has Komodo Dragons and weird nine-legged creatures for pets and he's afraid of a spider?) and Kiku staring incredulously at a sheet in his hands, saying something about the Tamago Gohan being a riches' food, yet again. *
From one of the windows in the hallway I see Tino plummeting to the ground like a dead fly, screaming and moving his arms and just then I notice his wings are rigid as stone. I chuckle softly. A drop of paralyzing in his morning coffee and that's it.
Today there will be a lot of cleaning hands after school.
I check on the whole building and the gardens and everything seems fine. After an hour or so, spent fixing a few issues with some teachers and eating a midday snack, I return to my office. Once inside and having closed the door I notice my cup on the desk, just where I left it. But that's not what catches my eye, though, it's the steam coming from it. I frown. I don't remember serving myself another cup before leaving, and even if I had, it wouldn't be hot. It could have been one of my assistants…..but today that´s the last thing I would think.
I grab the cup and examine it. It looks like tea, dark and liquid, with no weird consistence. I bring it to my nose. It smells suspiciously strong, more like alcohol rather than tea. I smirk, putting it down. I'm not going to fall. Smiling triumphantly I pour the cup's content on the trash bin and sit at the desk, opening a drawer and pulling out the folders to start with my work, still smiling. No one will trick me, prank me or laugh at me this year. No, no, I was one step ahead this time.
As soon as I think that I start to feel a little dizzy. Maybe tea and a warm scone were a terrible snack, considering I didn't have anything for dinner last night. I intent to stand to get myself yet another cup of tea, but my body doesn't respond, and I feel a heaviness spreading to my limbs. I don't quite know how, but the next thing I know my head is resting on my arms over the desk and my eyes close.
[Mathiew's POV]
As I walked the rest of the way through the garden I got odd looks from the people there
"Hello Lady would you like me to escort you to the cafeteria?" Raivis said as he bowed slightly
"Lady? I am Mathiew" My voice still sounded off... and girly
"Mathiew? Why are you dressed like that?!" Raivis exclaimed and dragged me to a nearby fountain.
I saw my reflexion and my eyes widened…
I had two small and low pigtails, a bit of eyeliner, blush, shadow and other things that I don't know. My robe was a bit... Er... Busty in the front part
I don't know if to be disturbed by the fact that they put me a filler bra or that they thought about it..
I scooped some water on my hands and tried to get rid of my make up but no matter how much I rubbed, it wouldn't come out!
"Mathiew, we are going to be late for class..." Raivis pulled nervously my sleeve
I reluctantly walked with him to class
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" Ludwig's shout could be heard from anywhere, we ran to the classroom fearing for the worst, only to see… disorder?
The things had been moved and placed on different and random places; somehow Ludwig was in the middle of the room having a meltdown
"Are you alright?" I asked as I cautiously got close to him, at the moment he turned I could catch a glimpse of horror and distress
"My organized haven… is all gone" Ludwig shook his head and stood up "No use crying over spilt milk" he turned to us (by now everyone was on the classroom) "Class is cancelled until this room looks like Netherlands kitchen (1)"
And so that was how my first hour went… along with some curious glances, at least I could take off the pigtails and the bra.
"What do we do now? We still have 45 min of class" Raivis said
"Matvey, I didn't know you were a cross dresser" Ivan said from behind me
"Gaaah… I am not a cross dresser" I said a bit offended and tried (and failed) to remove the makeup 'What is this made of?'
"Don't be ashamed Matvey, we're still friends" By now I opted to use silence as my answer… until my stomach decided to make itself known. GROWL~
"Huh? Looks like Matvey hasn't had his breakfast… after all, a pretty lady as you shouldn't starve" Ivan snickered and dragged me to the cafeteria along with Raivis.
After eating almost three times my weight we went towards the Flight classroom/ceiling
"Moi moi guys! how are you?" Tino said cheerily "Oh my Mathiew, I didn't know you were a cross dresser"
"I am not! I just can't take the makeup off!" I said angrily hearing Ivan whispering to someone
"I think Mathiew looks cute" Mei came out of nowhere and hugged me (more like tackled me)
"Can we get back to cla-" Tino was abruptly interrupted by a loud explosion coming from downstairs
"Huh? Again?" He sighs "Because I am a teacher I should check it, Mei you too"
They left us here… with nothing to do
"I have a deck, we can play something while we wait" Gupta said as he took out a very stylish set of card
We ended up playing blackjack since everyone knows how to play it…
"How much time has it passed?" I asked Heracles who surprisingly has won almost every game
"Around half an hour… five cards, I win the double of the bet" He left his cards and went to pet a stray kitten that is always here… somehow
I got up and went to check on Tino, how much damage could it be? I was wrong, when I poked my head on the hallway I was momentarily blinded by white, everything was so white, even the place where the windows are supposed to be… I walked along the hallway but as I got farther from the stairs, the less I could see, it was like being trapped on a giant white sheet of paper, the doors weren't noticeable. I began to run, but the hallway went on… or so I thought until I crashed into something, I suppose it was the wall
"Oh Mathiew, come here" Tino said through a door, I gladly went in
"That hallway is creepy, I felt lost and with no way back" I shivered slightly and looked through a window
"I know, it's overwhelming in more ways than one… the question is… who did it?" Tino sat on the table and the bell rang "Looks like you have to leave… please do it through the window"
I did as told and flew to the first floor which looked like it was decorated for a party… well ignoring that I went towards creatures when I saw Daniel sneaking out carefully
"Mathiew, looks like you also got caught in a joke" Vlad popped out of nowhere and nearly gave me a heart attack, meanwhile Vlad chuckled at my reaction
"Don't worry, it suits you" He opened his classroom's door and found that it had been caged... literally… various pictures of Nicolas Cage had been printed on various sizes and styles and they were pasted everywhere, there was no spot where you couldn't see one… and that's not all, on the middle of the room a statue of him stood proudly
I turned to look at Vlad worried since he hadn't said anything, his eyes were as big as plates and his mouth was hanging in surprise
"Vlad?" who is pulling the pranks? And why… although Vlad seems like he knew
"…So they got me also…heh… my turn" and Vlad left to who knows where and yet again we didn't have class, I am going to skip this period since we didn't do anything besides trying to count how many pictures were there…
[Arthur's POV]
It's not the banging on my door what wakes me up, nor the funny feeling in my back. It's a headache, so bad I sit up straight and then everything around me spins for the speed of the movement. It's then when I listen to the persistent knocks on the door. Still rubbing my head I get up and turn the knob, finding it locked. Locked? I didn't lock the door. I remove the lock and open, and standing behind is Ludwig, his blue eyes fixed on me.
"What on earth were you doing?" he demands.
"Why are you bloody bothering me? Should you not be in class?" I retort. He narrows his eyes.
"In class? Arthur... I've been looking all around for you and I have a good ten minutes knocking. What were you doing?"
What? I check my watch. Ten. How can that be? It was not yet nine when I returned. The only thing that can have caused it is the tea, and I didn't drink it. Suddenly it occurs to me. I didn't drink it but I smelled it, and it had a weird smell. That must have done it. Something to sleep that acts through the nose and of course I didn't notice.
But who could have done it? My office is at the end of a lonely hallway on the first floor, and it's not like I'm exactly popular to have anyone knowing it is there. But then I realize…..there are only three people who have way of knowing.
I grit my teeth and walk down the hallway, ignoring Ludwig's protests and then I hear him gasp and clear his throath. I walk up the stairs and hear snickers all around me. Students point discretly at me and laugh. But I ignore them and keep going. On the second floor I bump into Oliver, something pretty difficult if you consider that by now I was half flying.
"Artie! Artie, help me!" he squeals. His eyes wide and his expression one of pure horror.
"What the bloody hell do you want? I'm in a hurry."
"No hurry of yours can be more important than this!" he points at his back, at his wings.
"I don't see the problem'" I say, rolling my eyes. He squeals again.
"How can you not see it?! It's there! My colourful, precious, fashionable wings. They are gone!" This time I realize what he means. Instead of the bright, blinding electric shades of his wings, now they are plain white. Bright white, may I add, because it still hurts my eyes.
"What am I going to do now?!" he cries.
I touch a finger to the side of his wing and it comes out white. Under the mark I've left I catch a glimpse of electric blue.
"Remove this aerosol paint, maybe, bloody git," he looks at me.
"What?"
"Your wings have white paint," I explain.
He touches them and stares wide-eyed at his fingers, then bursts out laughing.
"Well, well. Uff, quite a scare I had. Thank you, poppet," he winks.
"Fine, whatever. Just move aside," I tell him and fly past him to the stairs. I noticed since I spread my wings (carelessly now since I no longer worry about being discovered) that they felt a little stiff and heavy.
"Uh, poppet..."
"What?" I don't even turn around.
"Uh, you know just, your wings…."
"Bloody hell, I don't care if my wings are boring and simple! I just need…."
I hear his laughter and look at him. He is holding his stomach and bending over.
"What is so funny?!"
He doesn't answer for a whole minute. He wipes his tears and takes a deep breath.
"Your wings look lovely, poppet," he grinns and walks away. I just stand there. My wings? I try to look at them but I can't see much, nothing actually, so I just make it to the nearest bathroom and stand with my back to the mirror. Looking over my shoulder I tense.
My upper wings have dozens of faces. Smiley, grumpy, sad, poker, black, colorful…..faces everywhere! And not just faces, there are plenty of symbols and icons that I don't really know, but not a single inch is free of color. The pair below shows just a big smiley face, using for eyes two of my own wing-eyes with a big smile painted beneath. And the bottom pair-I wince. It's full of food! A huge taco is painted at the bottom and all over and around it there are types of meat and drawings of tortillas and other things that I don't recognize. The Mexican flag is painted at the corner, with three smiley faces around and a hand with thumbs-up.
I clench my fists. This only confirms my suspicions about the culprits. I'm about to exit the bathroom when a colorful powder falls from my wings. Glitter. So for that they feel so bloody heavy! I look at them again and realize I hadn't seen all the glitter splattered. The flag is especially heavy with it. But I also notice that just beneath the flag there's something small written, like a signature. I narrow my eyes at it. With black marker, is written one word: Liz.
The door of the bathroom slams open and I fly at top speed to the fourth floor. The bloody, little git….
I flew to the cooking classroom (It's my turn!) and Liz and Francis were already there. Liz looked like she was discussing something with Francis
"How do you say 1,2, 42 in French (2)?" Liz said happily, I got closer to them
"Un, deux, quarante-deux" Francis replied and Liz began laughing, Francis turned at me and I just shrugged
"That style suits you Mathieu" Francis smirked and I blushed 'Stupid abnormally strong makeup'
"Well today we'll coo-" the door was opened by a very pissed off Arthur
"Where is that bloody git!?" Arthur looked around until he spotted Liz "You! You also did this!" he pointed at his white wings?… They weren't white anymore… they had graffiti all over them "I don't know how did you and the others got on heaven!"
"Luck?... and loooook the spirit of the queen" and with that Liz ran away from Arthur "COME BACK HERE!"
"What was that?" I looked at Francis
"I don't know… why haven't you taken off the makeup?" Francis said inspecting it closely
"I tried with water and rubbing it but it won't come off…" I said and rubbed my sleeve to prove my point
"Of course it won't … you need alcohol to remove it" and Francis helped me take off the makeup on this class
Finally recess! I walked (as a guy) to the cafeteria when I Heard some shuffling from behind me…
"MATHIEW!" some dark guy shouted
"No offence but… who are you?" 'Now I sound like Kuma' the figure looked at me shocked but recovered quickly
"I am Feliks… I know that I look horrible" Now it was my turn to be shocked, the happy-go-lucky and colorful guy was dressed with super tight black jeans, black combat boots, a chain link belt with some of them hanging loose in cross patterns, a black slightly ripped shirt splattered with red paint, black leather gloves and vest, some fake piercings on the face and ears, black lipstick and very thick shadows and his hair had been dyed black along with dark navy blue
"Why don't you take them off?" I suggested while trying to remove a piercing
"I tried but they won't come off and the clothing is so tight that I am amazed that it fitted" Feliks threw his arms in the air and I just proceeded to walk to the cafeteria.
I got my food and went outside to eat a peaceful lunch, as I walked I saw two things… Berwald had been Tino-ed? And Emil looked like a bird… now let me explain
Berwald had a shirt with Tino's face printed on it, a bandanna with Tino's name, stickers, pants, shoes you name it with Tino's image
Emil had part of his bangs dyed yellow, a suit of a puffin (slightly fat and with imitation of feathers), and he waddled as He walked
"Who did this!" Emil muttered angrily and Berwald just grunted but kept a small blush
The group was almost complete, just the Hispanic trio and Oliver were missing… I noticed that somehow they all had been pranked except for Leon and Ivan; I feared the worst for them…
The next classes were peaceful… somehow
On Spirits, Kiku was lamenting at the price of something
On Theory, Edward was desperately typing on the computer and muttering various codes… I think he got a virus (because even heaven can't fix that)
On Ethics with Toris everything went smoothly…
"Alright can somebody tell me what's good and what's evil?" Toris said to the class and looked around "Mathiew?"
"The words are relative, there is no good or evil since it depends on perspective" I said not sure if I was right 'I need to stop spacing out on this class'
"You're not wrong but not quite right... you see the ques-" the classroom was filled with foam, I could feel myself inhaling it
"Get out" Toris' voice could be heard from somewhere
The door was thrown open and we poured out from the class just in time for the bell to ring, I walked to the second floor towards Art class
Lovino was already there placing the paint and canvases in their respective place or in case of others (sculpture), hammers, peaks and so on
"Hey you Maple bastard, is your painting done" Lovino said without turning from what he was doing now
"Eh, Oui, I just need some shading" I answered nervously 'he scares me sometimes'
"Well go on and shade that motherfucking painting" More students began arriving, Michelle and Camille who were two demons, how did they got to heaven? I don't know… Michelle was sculpting a mermaid riding over a tuna and Camille was painting an autumn scenery. Marcello, Toby and Zoey that were the smallest ones on the group the three were angels... Well not angels since I don't think they are classified yet but they have wings. Marcello was annoying Lovino, Toby was painting sheeps and Zoey was scolding Marcello. The Hispanic trio arrived sweating and when they sat they let out a huge breath of relief
"We lost him" Diana said
"How come he doesn't know our schedules?" Daniel asked as he got away from the clay deposit
"He may have not thought about it" Liz said and got out something from her backpack "Will you do the honors Diana?"
"Of course Liz" She pressed the button and a loud band could be heard along with a distressed "GAAAAAAHHHH!"
Everybody peeked from the window to see… Vash, in a hamster outfit (with ribbons), inside a transparent ball "Let me out!"
"Heh, finally they got Vassh" Lovino snickered
I looked around and the Hispanic trio was nowhere to be seen, our works were covered and the clay mountain was moving slightly "Er Lovino… there's something wrong wi-" I didn't get to finish before it exploded and everyone got covered with clay
"No one fucks with me and survives" And Lovino ran away from class
Since the next classes didn't start until later I went back to my room and showered getting rid of the clay, especially from my hair.
I was flying back to school when something passed zooming beside me almost making me lose my balance
"What the heck?" I looked closely to the object and it was Leon tied to a model rocket flying aimlessly
"Let me down! I thought that I was spared" a laugher resounded from the rocket
"Only three were spared… Lily, Ivan and Raivis"
Leon kept flying around and then he flew towards me…
"What are you doing!?" I flew faster and Leon was dangerously close
"I don't control it!" then he suddenly went up again, I looked in front of me and slightly missed a tree but fell into a fountain
"Why me?" I got out of it "And I just showered… for the second time"
I still had some good 10 minutes before getting to class so I just went to the cafeteria to eat… where is the cafeteria?
The doors had been changed in an unknown language and everything looked well I don't know, like a scene from Lord of the rings. Lukas was walking dressed like a hobbit but he didn't seem fazed by the joke, he even stopped and read some of the letters and posters that were pasted
I just decided to leave… that makes two floors useless. 'Good thing that Kind and Skill are outside the school and I'll just grab a random fruit from a tree and eat it'
"Mathiew!" Mei came running to me and spun me "Aww why did you take off the makeup, you looked cute"
"I am a guy and makeup itches" I took an apple and began eating it
"By the way, Ludwig, Arthur, Lovino, Vlad and Vash are reuniting and I think they are trying to get revenge from the jokes that they fell in" Mei whispered as if someone else was going to listen
"And the other teachers?" I asked
"They are more relaxed… want to go and see?" Mei said with sparkles in her eyes
"And class?" I said as she began to drag me away
"I already dismissed the others… let's hurry, Ivan, Raivis, Toris, Feliks and Tino are also waiting for something to happen"
[Third Person POV]
From where we were, we had a perfect view of most of the garden area Ludwig, Vash and Lovino were near the center, Arthur and Vlad were chanting in an unknown language. A grenade-like object fell between Ludwig and Lovino and exploded with a cherry red (and smell) color
"Ugh! what's this?" Lovino said while trying to shake off the substance
"Don't get distracted, the enemy can be anywh-" Vash was caught with a green apple substance similar to the first one… and then hell broke loose
While Vash and Ludwig tried to look for the source, Lovino had ran away
"Concentrate!" Arthur shouted at Vash but he got hit by more colorful and fruity substance
Three figures popped out of different places, they had masks, paintball ammunition and a riffle. "ATAQUEN!"
Vlad tried to get an enchantment done but he got hit by a grenade, Arthur fell into a simple trap that left him hanging upside down and with his wings trapped, Vash managed to hit one of the figures but the other two teamed up and threw grenades at the same time and reflected the light towards him with a mirror.
The only one standing was Ludwig…
"Come on! Is that all you got?" Ludwig charged and hit the figures who tried to scramble to a safe distance, he tied them and took off their masks.
Diana, Daniel and Liz were smirking
"I trapped you, why are you smirking?" Ludwig said angrily
"No, we got you~" They said happily
"Yeah sure" Ludwig stomped on the masks and got shocked "What?"
The trio untied the ropes and left the area…
"So far this is part of one of the most extreme days that I have seen" Mei said and stretched "Good thing that I didn't go after them"
"An interesting day, Da?" Ivan also stretched "I wonder why they didn't play a prank on me…"
"Who knows, the day is not over yet" Tino moved his wings slightly "at least I can move them now"
The rest of the persons that had reunited left slowly and groggily…
[Mathiew's POV]
Such a long day… now I can finally go to my dormitory and rest…
I opened the door to my dormitory and everything was still normal, even the clock looked like it hadn't been touched at all
I changed into a red short with white borders and 'CANADA' printed on the left side and got comfy on bed
…..
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Ivan's scream could be heard from all the dormitories
'Well I suppose he got his prank' I closed my eyes and fell in a deep slumber
1)- I just remembered when Poland tried to use Netherlands kitchen and Netherlands was like "I don't use the kitchen because it will get dirty… I eat outside" Beautiful World Series
2)- 1,2, 42… Un, deux, quarante-deux in Spanish sounds like ando cagando… which means I am shitting
*Reference to episode 17 of the World Series
Michelle- Seychelles
Camille- Monaco
Marcello- Seborga
Toby- New Zealand
Zoey- Wy
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