The next morning the crew was busy in repairing the damage the battle between the Spades and their commanders when a sudden crash and a splash made them turn towards their father.
"Namur, please, can you fish your newest brother back?" Whitebeard said, smiling. Namur nodded, jumping in the ocean and returning briefly after with a dripping and half-dead Ace.
"He looks like a drawned cat." Said Sarah, the blonde nurse.
"Poor thing, is he breathing?" Asked Nora, the raven-haired nurse.
"I think so. Pops, don't hit him too hard, you already beat him hard last time" Lamented Claire, the red-haired nurse.
"It wouldn't be fair for him. He challenges me with all he has." Whitebeard rumbled.
"Pops! Behave!" Sarah reprimanded, making him laugh.
"He's waking up." Claire said, making all the nurses look at the boy on the deck. Ace blinked his eyes open, coughing. His big, grey eyes looked at the nurses.
"How do you feel?" Nora asked and Ace smiled warmly.
"I'm fine, thank you." He smiled, sitting on the deck and squeezing his hair to take the water out of his hair.
"Ace, buddy! How was the water?" Thatch asked, being his usual cheerful self. Ace turned towards him, glaring.
"Don't talk to me, you disgusting man." He said coldly.
"Let me guess...another personality?" Izo asked from nearby. Ace tilted his head curiously.
"I never met a man dressed like a woman. I guess I'll tolerate you, since you're beautiful." Ace said, nodding to himself.
"Well, thank you."
"Hey! Why not me?" Thatch wailed, earning himself another cold glare.
"Shut up. I hate all men, you are no exception."
"Oh, hello there Heart. How are you?" Gale said, nearing.
"Gale, it's been a while."
"Oh no!" Denny said, looking terrified as Heart hissed at him.
"Just one question." Thatch said, perplexed. "You may hate all men, but you are one yourself." He pointed out, earning an Hiken.
"I am a woman, you idiot!"
"Personalities can have different sex and age from his host." Gale informed, looking amused.
"You could have told me earlier!" Thatch said, patting his hair to check if they were in place.
"Tion! Help!" Denny cried, ducking behind her. "Heart came out!"
Heart looked at them and seemed to lit up.
"Tion dear! Long time no see!" She said, hugging her close. "How are you? These men are treating you well, aren't they? Should I let King handle things?"
"There's no need, darling." Tion said, caressing Heart's head. She nuzzled into her hand, looking like a lovestruck puppy. "Everything is alright."
"That's good." Heart smiled, kissing her cheek.
"I have another question." Thatch said, looking confused.
"Tion is a girl" Paul smiled, calmly taking a step back from the forth commander.
"TION IS WHAT?!" He screamed, looking traumatized.
"Why it' so surprising that I'm a girl?" She asked, eyebrow rised.
"But- but- but-"
"I think we broke him." Denny commented, poking the commander with his hammer.
"But where are the boobs?! Girls have big, soft boo-" He wasn't able to finish the sentence since he was hit by a double kick, one from Tion on the face and one from Hearts in his family kewels. Kneeling over, he wheezed.
"Heart, that was unnecessary. But thank you."
"He was implying that you are unattractive just because you don't have a cup D, of course it was necessary." Heart crosses her arms, scowling.
"Ah, you all have the same scowl." Tion laughed, poking Heart's forehead. "Wait a second. I was angry to you! Heart, did you encourage Ace when he decided to attack Whitebeard while you are still recovering?"
"Well..." She looked sheepish and at Tion's glare she hurried to save her face. "It was Spade's idea, please don't be mad at me!"
"I want to talk to Spades." Heart nodded, looking a little pained and closed her eyes. Then the expression on Ace's face changed from relaxed to positively ill.
"Spades. I know it's you now, stop stalling." Spades winced.
"I'm not really in a hurry to have you chew my head off." He said, opening a eye. Tion grabbed his ear and turned, making him gasp. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry! I won't do it again!" Tion let go and Spades leapt to hide behind Charlie.
"To bed."
"But..."
"NOW." Spades looked at her with his best puppy dog eyes. "Don't think you can soften me, young man." Pouting, Spades returned to his room. "Good goddess, sometimes I feel like I have to deal with children."
"I know the feeling -yoi." Marco said, approaching. Tion glared at him.
"I don't care, I'm still angry at you." Marco blinked, confused.
"Me?"
"Yes, you! Do you know how many cuts caused by your talons you think I bandaged? Twenty! Twenty for the goddess' sake! Twenty talon marks, eleven cuts caused by a sword, seven bullet holes and something like twenty five different bruises. As one of the doctors on board I'm deeply angered by this. And by the fact that I have to improvise with what I find on your kitchen. If I could do as I wish, the one that burned our ship would be hanging by his balls right now." She growled as every male around her made pained sounds and protected their groin with their hands.
"Tion, my dear, calm down." Gale tried, placing a soothing hand on her back.
"I'm trying! But they keep on acting like they want to be our friends after they took our captain and destroyed our home." She said, clearly irritated.
"Family, not friends!" Thatch said, cheerfully.
"Shut your trap or I'm going to hang you by your balls."
"Please don't, if they rip, we'll have to glue them." Claire said, looking horrified. Tion looked surprised for a few seconds before she laughed.
"I cn see how that would be a problem. Don't you have any male doctor on board?"
"Yeah, like, three. For a hundred man" Sarah said, looking unimpressed. Tion chuckled.
"I'll lend you Paul if you'll need him."
"Hey! Do I have a say in this matter?"
"Obviously not." Nora said, looking scandalised by the though.
"Oh God, it's been so long since I had female company." Tion said, giggling.
"It must have been hard with all these brutes." Claire said, patting her shoulder.
"Nah, I love them all, they are my family." She smiled before turning towards Thatch. "Just because I'm friendly to the first woman I saw in months, it doesn't mean I'm going to join you, got it?"
"Fine by me." He said grinning, but he still got a kick on the shin.
Two days later, six failed attempt of murder and just as much scolding from Tion found the Spades were still sulking in a corner, all bandaged up.
"Poor lads." Izo commented.
"Well, they kind of asked for it -yoi." Marco said, looking unimpressed as he read the newspaper. He was a little irritated by the way the first mate was angry at him.
"Hey, cheer up you!" Thatch screamed, earning a collective dirty look and making him laugh.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash from the belly of the ship.
"What-?" Loud screams and a series of crash followed.
"Oh, crap." Charlie cursed, paling.
"Another of your Captain's crazy personalities?"
"No! Worst that that!"
"Worst?"
"What is it?"
"It's-" The door was thrown to the other side of the ship. A figure was standing there, a killer aura around it. "It's Tion with her period!" Derek shrieked.
"She evolved in Tionzilla!" Denny screamed, earning a pinch on the cheek from Gale.
"You all must suffer." She growled. And then she was punching and kicking every living being in a 5 meters radius.
"It's started." Gale sighed. "Poor Tion, she really must be in pain to act like this."
"They burned our ship, she has nothing to alleviate it." Paul agreed. "Well then, should we start formation T?"
"Naaaah, let them suffer." Denny said, waving a hand like he was swatting a fly.
Screams kept on going as Tion beat everyone on her way.
"I'm going to raid the kitchens" Charlie said, moving from his place and circumnavigated the isle made of barely-alive bodies. "I'm sorry, please move your arm. Thank you. Sorry. Sorry." He murmured, finally getting to the other side.
"Denny, go do your duty too" Gale warned.
"I don't want to" He moaned. Another pinch on his cheek made him yelp. "Ok ok, I'm going." He mumbled irritably. He got up and, unlike Charlie, he just passed over the pile of bodies, eliciting moans of pain in his wake.
"Denny!" Derek growled as Gale sighed.
"Boys will be boys."
"Ok, how do we stop her?" Izo asked, watching as Vista was thrown overboard by an angry Tion
"Tionzilla will not be stopped by anything" Paul said, smiling. "If you don't have the right items."
"What items do you need?" Thatch asked, but Paul just smiled and nodded towards Charlie that was coming back from the kitchens with what looked like every last sweet boarded on their ship in his arms.
"Tion! Look what I've got you!" He said, showing a chocolate muffin to her. Instantly, the destruction ceased as she observed him carefully. Then, without a warning, she was ripping the muffin from his hands, eating it in a handful of bites. Next was a bar of chocolate, then a slice of cake and then a bowl of ice cream. Gale frowned.
"Tion, darling, slow down or you'll be-" She put a hand on her mouth. "-nauseated. I told you." He sighed, rubbing his hand on her back. "You know your stomach is not well during thins time." He whispered as she put a hand on her middle, wheezing through the pain. Charlie took the bowl back as she crushed Gale's hand in hers, teeth gritted in pain. Then, in an instant, Danny was there.
"Here, big sister!" He said, holding a cup for her to take.
"Just a second." She said through gritted teeth. After some time she took the cup, drinking avidly.
"What's in that?" Thatch asked.
"Boiled laurel and sage with a teacup of honey and three of sugar. It's good for cramps caused by the period." Tion yawned and rubbed her eyes. Without the killer aura, she looked pretty tired. Until another cramp stuck and she gasped in pain.
"Fear not, I have the solution to all of our problems." Paul said, hand dragging an equally sleepy looking Ace. "I thought we could use a living hot water bottle." He said, snickering.
"When the hell did you went to get him?" Derek asked.
"When Charlie returned." He smiled. Tion had gulped down her drink and shoved the cup in Gale's hand before hugging Ace.
"What's wrong? Tion?" He asked with a groggy voice. He looked around and realization illuminated his gray eyes. "Oh. Period?" Everyone nodded, making Ace smile sadly. "Poor Tion. Here, let's get you to sleep, ok?" She nodded and Ace raised her up, taking her back inside.
"Aaaaaand we'll have to clean this mess." Thatch sighed.
"You're wrong, you have to clean this mess, we are not part of your crew so we are don't care." Denny said, smiling like a maniac.
"But it's your crewmate that did this!" Thatch whined.
"Not my problem." Deanny said, sticking his tongue out.
"Let him be, he's just worried. Let's clean up." Paul said, smiling.