hey guys. look, I'm going through a really tough time and I'm sorry if my writing isn't really up to par. I've been reading and rereading my work continuously and fixing all the grammatical and spelling errors like a psycho grammar Nazi. It's all I have the energy for lately. i've been going in and out of depression lately and I'd appreciate any support i could get from you guys. I've been incredibly ill for the past week-in the hospital with an IV and all that jazz. I'm extremely dehydrated and my stomach was literally killing me. I'm not even going to exaggerate that that was the worst pain of my life.
By the way, if you haven't noticed, I'm going to be ranting my life's problems right now. There will be a chapter after all this. But please bear with me and don't skip this.
On top of being sick, my landlord decided he was going to sell my house, so I have until the end of August to find a new place, or I'm homeless. I've lived here, in this nice blue house, since I was six or seven. we've found a nice apartment in my town, but it's unlikely we'll be chosen for it, but we'll have another chance next year. We've found other gorgeous and inexpensive apartments/houses in the towns surrounding my town, but if we live there, there's no way I can go to my school. If I go to school in another town, I will receive a worse education- I live in the best town for school systems in the state and will be totally friendless because I make friends about as well as a dead body.
Never mind, I take that back. Most dead people have more friends.
And it's not that people don't like me- it's more like I see ulterior motives in almost anything anyone does and I'd like to think I have better things to do than spend time with people. For example, typing up my life story before a chapter for a story nobody reads and hoping somebody reads this and gives good advice instead of skipping over it like I would've done. Like, I like people in theory, but I just don't like the "getting-to-know-you" part.
Is that weird? . yeah. Yeah. . yeeaah. Hey yall chickes
Anyway, i also have serious daddy issues. Like, he calls every night complaining about how much I hang up on him, and tries to provoke me to hang up on him, and when i tell him I won't, he'll slam the phone down. How does he not understand that he causes the trouble we have with each other? I haven't seen him in about a year and a half, but we scream at each other regularly, with him on the other side of the line, changing tactics and stories like a girl changes clothes. he threw a shovel at my brother on Christmas Eve, and shove the present I gave him back in my hand. After we visited him out of our own accord. That was the last time I saw him, and damn it I WILL NOT GO BACK TO HIM IF MY LIFE DEPENDED IT. I'M SERIOUSLY DEBATING WHETHER WHEN/IF I GET MARRIED, I'LL SEND HIM AN INVITATION.
I know I don't want a normal life, but I also know that I wish it was just a little simpler. I don't want my life to be a sitcom- God, if my life was as happy as the people's in Good Luck Charlie, I'd kill myself. Either that or travel to somewhere, anywhere in the world that I could be depressed, because honestly, if my family and friends were as happy as Disney made them out to me, I'd be a fucking BANSHEE. I'd need to get away, to help someone who isn't nearly as happy. Someone whose downright sad. But I wish my life was happier.
Yay, so now that I've got like half my feelings out...
Here's a joke. Knock knock.
The leader of the vegetarian society just couldn't control himself anymore. He just needed to try some pork, just to see what it tasted like. So one summer day he told his members he was going on a vacation. He packed out of town, and headed to the nearest restaurant. After sitting down, he ordered a roasted pig, and impatiently waited for his delicacy. After just a few minutes, he heard someone call his name, and to his great chagrin he saw one of his fellow members walking towards him. Just at that same moment, the waiter walked over, with a huge platter, holding a full roasted pig with an apple in it's mouth. "Isn't that something," says the leader after only a moments pause, "all I do is order an apple, and look what it comes with."
"Sir you have got to help!" said the tearful man at the door.
"There is a family that I know very well that is in desperate need of money. The Father has been out of a job for over a year, they have five kids at home with barely a bit of food to eat. The worst part is, that they are about to kicked out of the house and they will be left on the streets without a roof over their heads!" The man concluded with one last heart wrenching sob.
"Well," said the man at the door, "that really is a sad story. Why don't you come inside and we'll talk about it a little more."
"So how much money is needed exactly?" asked the man when they were both seated.
"Oh it's really terrible", said the man starting up again.
"Why just for the rent $3000 is needed by tomorrow otherwise they'll be kicked out onto the streets."
"How do you know so much about this situation?" asked the man as he reached for his check book.
"Well," said the man breaking down once more "they are my tenants."
Joke jokee As a first grade teacher, I often hear from my students things going on in their family. Harry's mother was expecting, and naturally Harry was very excited about it. When one day Harry stopped talking about it I was concerned and questioned him why. "Well", Harry said, "my mother told me I could feel the baby moving in her stomach, I think she ate it!"
Without further ado:
*regal red curtains open*
I don't own either of these books series and I am glad for one of them. Guess which one makes me puke, but I like in theory?
Guess what- I have an obsession with werewolves. I wish I was part of their world. They know who their soulmate is. The rest of us are still looking... *pouts*
Also, note this: IV is not comfortable. It's like permanently having a shot for hours. It absolutely sucks.
Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
Namely, my dad. Also featuring:
The stephag- sorry, stepmom. They are very easy to mix up. You know- hags and step moms.
The step hag's weirdo son, Jackson. Also, my weirdo stepbrother.
The step hag's weirdo son's Harry Houdini Tarantula. We're not even going to go into this encounter, but all can safely say an encounter in the shower left both parties confused, traumatized, and estranged. One ended up in the hospital, as well. The other... is still happily eating what ever shit spiders think is good food in the tightly sealed glass cage. I, to this day, am not sure how it managed to escape. And secretly still harbor a fear of that shower.
Percy Jackson. "Di immortales! O Zeu alloi theoi, Percy, how could you be so stupid?" That, would be me, telling off the stupid idiot moronic son of Poseidon who showed a bunch of unbelievers his water powers before they got their minds wrapped around it.
"I said I was sorry!" he protests, sending a look at the faces of the wolf pack. "Sorry!" he repeats, sputtering. He puts a full head of raven hair in his hands.
Leah finally says something, "Did he just... make the water come up from his glass and into his mouth... without even touching the glass?"
We both nod. "That's about the gist of it," I say. For those of you without Athena's daughter lessons, gist means summary.
Brady starts grinning wildly, "That was-"
"-awesome," finishes Collin, "Can he do it-"
Brady cuts him off, "-again, except with-"
"-bubbles?" asks Collin. I make an impressed face. They actually knew what the other was going to say. The Stolls even mess up sometimes. I will catch these too off guard one day, I promise myself, scheming.
I twirl a finger at Percy, indicating he does as he's told. "So you guys believe us now?"
Sam takes a breath, ready to speak for all of them, but Jacob cheekily says, "Well, we don't think you guys belong in a mental hospital anymore, per say. How do you feel about a circus or a magician's act? The Incredible Perseus and the Awesome Alex, his assistant."
Percy and I both immediately protest. "Seriously," I say, "I would not be his assistant!" at the same time as Percy threatens him to not call him Perseus. So it basically comes out sounding like, 'Seriously, I do not call the Bee his full name Assistant!' for all the non-werewolf type hearers. Not sure what that was supposed to mean. It's open to interpretation. Even some of the werewolves tilt their heads in confusion. CONFUZZLES, CONFUCIOUS YODELS!
Anyway, Sam clears his throat, and it comes out like an animalistic growl, "You can control water? Who's your parent?"
Percy shrugs, "Beats me. All I can remember is Annabeth."
"The sea god, " I thread in, "Percy's his only son since World War Two, when the Big Three gods, the original brothers, made a pact to not have any children with mortals because they were so dangerous and powerful they started wars. Percy defeated the War God, Ares, when he was twelve! He also got Hades, the third most powerful, pinned down with his sword to his neck a few months ago! When he was a baby, someone put a snake in his crib and he strangled it just like Hercules. And he broke Kronos's time spell in minutes, when it took the king of the gods years to do it!"
Percy looks proud of himself. Jacob looks impressed.
Paul says, "How do you know all of this about him?" He sends a green, envious look in Percy's direction.
I feel my face redden, and I look down, "Um... he may have a fan club that I stumbled into a few meetings of...and they tell about all his feats at the campfire. "
It's Percy's turn to blush. "Look-" he starts, rubbing the bridge of his nose uncomfortably under Paul's jealous gaze. My eyes swirl hazel with black laced in.
Seth goes, "So all of this is true?"
I nod. "Every word. We're children of the Olympians."
"Not the athletes," Jacob guesses.
"No, not the athlete. But the Olympics did come from Apollo and a wind god competing for someone's affections," I answer, "I already told you this-the Olympian Gods. Psh, never thought I would quote Mr. D, but this is a miserable job, working with people who don't even believe!" I take a bite of mashed potatoes, inhaling the starch-filled buttery goodness. At camp I usually eat salads, and on quests-well, this is my first one, but from my experience the food isn't very filling or tasty. Emily's cooking however, is amazing. Practically ambrosia. Food of the gods. I also like angel cake. It's especially good with extra coconut and a splash of lemon/honey/chocolate syrup.
Basically, I've got a sweet tooth, so it's a good thing I spend most of my time at camp, only visiting the step hag and my dad on alternate school years. Then, I'm too repulsed to eat anything anyway, only to throw up blood and leave a few days after I arrive.
"Mr. D?" asks Leah. I ignore the grim-faced girl I heard some of them calling a harpy behind her back. Pfft- she's nothing like the real bat-faced devil chicken hybrids. They are much cuter, although admittedly less fit than the wolf girl.
'"Our camp director, " I explain. "is the god of wine. He's also a jackass."
"What will it take to get you guys to believe us?" Percy asks, and Paul growls something under his breath that has Seth snickering and Sam glowering (although that may just be his resting face).
Emily smiles, sighing, "I believe you!" Not saying you shouldn't, darling, but why? And here I thought the mortal would be the most disbelieving. I guess she's just seriously open-minded. The rest of them are just exclusively open-minded.
Sam says, "I guess we believe you... it's just we hadn't expected another myth to be true. We should just stop being surprised."
I laugh. "We just classify everything as true now. Like, those of us who went to mortal school longer, still believe the sun is a big fiery ball of gas, which is just gossip from someone overhearing Artemis calling Apollo, the sun-god, a big fiery ball of gas." Apollo's hot. End of story.
Percy and I are just clearing up stray questions like "How often do you see your parents?"; "Why did you fight the time dude?"; "Why do monsters kill you?"; "They can be killed but they don't die?"; "Who is Gaea, and why would we work for her?".
"I knew Earth Day was pointless," mutters Leah. Yeah, don't help the Earth Mother. Ha! Satyrs would murder you in your precious beauty sleep. I scour her face for clogged pores. We should go for steam baths and spa treatment together, I muse.
I debate mentioning it, but soon, Emily says we should probably go to sleep, and shows me and Percy to separate rooms. I instantly recognise mine as the one I snuck out of, so I don't bother scouring for escape routes in case of an emergency U & A. Percy is led to a blue room crisscross the hall from mine, next to the picture of a black wolf. I know he instantly approves, because I didn't go to those fan club meetings for not. I know his favorite color, bitches! I think triumphantly.
I hit the sack- erm, comfortable red duvet, and as my face connects with the crisp white cushions, I'm out.
I dream of a chasm. An unrecognizable mutter seems to echo through the chamber. The pit behind me seems to exhale a cold blast of air. That's when I knew with certainty- the chasm did go straight to the Underworld. My dream is fuzzy, like we're underground with no signal. I can barely hear anything, but I know conversations are going on.
Something- a spiderweb, dragged a blonde girl ( Annabeth?) by her ankle toward the pit. She sobs, and a black-haired boy- Percy, probably, tries to secure her with his arm, but the wiry spider silk pulls her down. They fall, Percy managing to snag the edge off the ledge with one hand. There's almost an evil magnetic pull toward it that pulls my mind to it. I resist as well as I can.
I hear a voice from in the darkness, No escape, it promises. I go to Tartarus, and you will come too.
"Let me go, " she croaks.
Percy says something to someone else, "I'll see you on the other side! Lead them there! Promise me!" My dream skips around like a static filled call with bad connection."We're staying together, " he promises Annabeth, "You not getting away from me. Never again."
I almost cry at the sheer love he has for her. I finally understand the saying, LOVE IS SACRIFICE.
He lets go, and they fall together into the unknown.
I wake refreshed, and slip on a designer sundress from my unfillable bag. It's the golden-yellow HERVÉ LÉGER Radiant Sun Zigzag Trim Bandage Dress. I pair it with these gorgeous sixty dollar Seychelles Gale Force Wedge Sandals. It's cute, and I add one of those faux straw hats with a ribbon people sometimes wear to th beach. I flick my wrist, and my nail polish changes to match my dress.
Gotta love my powers.
"-Hey, Alex, I got some clothes for you... Wow." Emily eyes me up and down shell-shocked. "Where'd you get those?" she asks suspiciously.
"Closet in your pocket charmed handbag," I say. "It's really handy, and I can just envision what I want and it appears, but this bag doesn't go with anything!" I wrinkle my nose at it. I look her up and down, and smile deviously. "Hey Emily, sit right here. You are not going down there in grey sweats. You're going to surprise the socks off your husband."
She makes a move to protest, but I guide her to the bed despite. She goes silent as she gazes flabbergasted at what I pull out of my handbag. "Whoa, " she breathes, croaking in surprise, "does that even fit inside there?"
"Magic," I remind her, laying out the primrose Valentino Techno Couture dress, with a mock neckline with the signature Valentino bow in the front, with voluminous ruffles going down. The dress reaches about knee-length, definitely longer than my regular mid-thigh style. Her eyes practically devour the dress.
"It's beautiful," she says, and I smirk, fishing out a silver brooch and silver heels.
"Put them on!" I order, "I'll serve breakfast, assuming it's already made." I can't cook to save my life. I burn water. Perks to living in Camp Half-Blood, the only KP duty you're assigned is dish washing. And you only get that if someone up there really has it out for you.
"Yeah, it's ready, " she mutters, not entirely there. I twist and pull at the doorknob to leave, but as I swing it open, Emily jumps me. I get tackled to the floor in a hug. My back cracks. Di immortales!
"Ow," I say, just as Emily starts crying, "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!" Pregnancy hormones, I groan mentally. Yay. I hope that dress fits pregnant women. Eh, I think so. Don't question the bag. It knows her size.
I realize something. "Em, given your current state, I don't think it's wise to tackle people."
She goes, "What?" blushing, with a cute little furrow knitting her eyebrows.
I say bluntly, "You're pregnant."
Red stains the balls of her cheeks, "I can't believe I forgot I was pregnant." We lay on the floor for a few minutes, and then we assist each other getting up.
"Yeah, it doesn't sound like something easily forgotten," says a familiar voice. My head flies up and I come face to face with a girl I was sure was a woodland animal or dancing in the Underworld. O Zeu alloi theoi, I curse. Di immortales.
"Hey, Kim!" Emily says cheerily, grabbing the dress to show the girl, but our eyes are glued on each other's lovely features.
"Kim?" My eyes widen, "I thought you were dead!"
Kim Connweller has the same reaction. "Alex!"