She was terrified. She didn't know why it hadn't worked, but she could feel the evil presence inside her more than ever. Glinda felt the magic bubbling at her fingertips and she knew she wasn't controlling it. Her magic was beyond her control. Somehow, this person inside of her was able to overcome the spell Elphaba had used. Perhaps spells were irreversible. The voice inside her laughed such an unnerving laugh, and she couldn't help but wonder if Dr. Dillamond had gone through this during his last moments in Oz.
The person inside her was hungry for blood. Glinda knew whatever presence was inside her was rather angry with Elphaba despite the devotion it once had for her. Glinda bit her lip to stay in control as she wrote a lengthy letter to explain why she had to run away. She'd kill the doctor trying to help her, she'd kill Nessarose for pursuing to get her help, and most of all, she'd kill Elphaba for preventing her from using her magic even though she somehow found a way to get around it.
Glinda cried. She couldn't live like this anymore. It didn't matter how many times she ran the blade across her wrists, she just couldn't feel it anymore. This person inside her, who called herself the Wicked Witch of the North, prevented her from feeling anything. It was terrifying, and Glinda was beginning to be afraid that if she cut too deep, Elphaba would find her bloody corpse on the ground cold and dead. When would the suffering ever end? Perhaps it wouldn't. She'd always have a lack of control. However, she always gained some kind of control when she put the blades deep in her skin simply because that wicked witch inside of her could feel it.
There was a more somber personality that tried and failed to get rid of the horrid wicked witch. She didn't call herself anything, opting to be nameless. This one developed after the wicked one killed the first man in Southstairs. This person inside her would rather run away and get away from everyone around her. However, the wicked one enjoyed being around people simply to hurt them. But the wicked one had a motive, and that was to protect Glinda at all costs.
Through Morrible's pursuits and her stay in Southstairs, it was the Wicked Witch of the North who retaliated, keeping her alive instead of giving herself up to be killed. Glinda had given this person more and more control at first, unable to cope with people wanting her dead herself. It was a mistake, and Glinda wished she could take back that freedom she had once given this person inside of her.
When the wicked one became just too much for her, the second person developed inside of her to help her fight it. However, this person also became terrified of her and the wicked one ultimately won. This didn't stop the second person from running up that cold mountain where Elphaba had found her almost freezing to death. It was in that moment Glinda realized she could no longer feel anything happening to her body. The wicked one had taken control over that, too.
To make matters worse, Glinda came to the conclusion that she hadn't been the one to ever use magic. That was the Wicked Witch of the North. The person who had given Nessarose the ability to walk was indeed the wicked one. It was strange how horrible that personality could be since it learned to like certain people such as Nessarose, Dr. Dillamond, and Elphaba up until she had taken away her magic.
As she wrote, Glinda had to stab herself in the leg a few times in order to keep the Wicked Witch of the North at bay. She had to write these last words to Elphaba, explaining how much she wished she could be the person she was back in Shiz. She wrote how much she truly loved Elphaba and that she didn't want to hurt her like this, but there was no other choice. In order for the Wicked Witch of the North to die, Glinda had to die herself. It hadn't been an easy decision, but she conversed with the nameless person inside of her and they agreed that the only way to defeat this evil inside of them was to kill themselves since they all harbored the same body.
"I love you so much, Elphaba. I wish I didn't have to do this," Glinda said as she sealed the envelope and wrote Elphaba's name on it. "But I can't go on like this. I cannot." She left the envelope on her desk and stabbed herself in the leg once again to keep herself in control. She was beginning to feel week from blood loss, but she didn't have much time.
Glinda didn't want Elphaba to find her body. She had to run away sooner rather than later. With help from the second person inside of her, she had enough energy to move her body into the darkness of the night. She stood at a cliff's edge that overlooked the large river rushing beneath her. The water would be freezing, she knew, but odds were, she wouldn't feel it. She stabbed herself more times than necessary so that the wicked witch didn't stop her. I won. Glinda said to the wicked witch inside of her twisted mind.
You stupid fool; you'll kill yourself and her, too. The Wicked Witch of the North screamed at her.
It has to be done to be rid of you. The second person finally said with a stronger voice than she ever had.
What about your precious Elphie? You're going to make her suffer more than she already has? What an awful person you are, you selfish brat!
I love Elphie enough to keep her away from you. Oh, Oz, Elphie, I love you so much. Please forgive me. Please try to understand.
Shut it, Glinda! She will never forgive you.
It doesn't matter. I'm keeping her safe. Glinda focused on the water below her and finally jumped. She was too weak to swim. The currents would carry her and pull her down until she passed out and eventually drowned.
You don't want to know how many times I rewrote this chapter.
Let me explain: Glinda had to die. She was planned to die from chapter one of the story. Why? Because in the real reality that we know as Wicked (the play) Elphaba faked her death to keep Glinda safe. Obviously, this reality I created was much more horrific if Glinda was sent to Southstairs from the very beginning. Glinda had to die to save Elphaba, but from herself. There was really no hope for her to get better. I will admit, I thought about saving her and sending her to the doctor, but I don't think she would have gotten better due to the fact that in this time period, nobody knew much about mental health. Furthermore, Glinda would have died in there due to the Wicked Witch of the North killing her. Mostly because of the original ending to the play, I felt that the two were forever to be separated whether the death was fake or real. I just felt like explaining myself before the angry reviews/PMs come after I killed off a character. There will be one more chapter after this so it's not over yet!