Hey guys, thanks everyone for the alerts and stuff, I'm glad your liking it. However I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my first reviewer; IAmTheRedMaskHeWears – so glad I got you into some Thredson fic and I really hope you like the rest of it :)

JJ X x

It's so sunny, bright and warm on my skin, the grass is almost soothing between my toes and the air is smothered in spiced oak from the smoldering old woods around us. A hand grips mine and I feel like I'm flying "Quick Mari, run."

I laugh and look up to my brother, he's only just taller than me, but at nine and twelve it wasn't that big a deal. We laughed as we ran hand in hand from the growling monster chasing us; we're almost at the bright welcoming red door of the ivory bricked ranch I so fondly remember when a pair of strong, worn hands all but rips us off the porch steps "Gotcha!"

"Mommy!" I scream as to I'm lifted into the air alongside Nate as we squirm for freedom.

The red door opened and stood there was a beautiful pin curled blonde in a knee length blue dress and sparkling pearl necklace, her hands on her hips while she smiles "now what do we have here?"

"Grandpa's trying to eat us!" Nate screamed with laughter and I chuckle as grandpa lifts us higher as he jokes about why he started chasing us "found these two stragglers snooping around the barns."

She steps of the porch and we stop struggling "Is that so, well I can see a more fitting punishment for nosy nellies like you two… tickling!"

Grandpa almost drops us as mom's fingers wiggle and we kick out on instinct, Nate manages to squirm away with grandpa hot on his heels but mom has me trapped on the lawn, laughing as I lose control of my limbs "Mommy please, please…"

She stops and looks down at me with the diamond blue orbs she blessed me with while smiling that sun bright smile only she could, nimble fingers brushing back my knotted curls "oh my little princess."

"Mom, I'm not some little girl anymore." I groaned with a roll of my eyes, trying to be older than my short years.

She laughed brightly and nodded "is that so? Well you may be a big old hag now, but you're still my… little… princess!"

The last three words were smashing into me with a cluster of face kisses as I giggled and wiped them away as I groan "I'm not a hag!"

"I know baby. Oh come here and give Mama Bear a cuddle." I matched her smirk and flung my arms around her neck, feeling her squeezing me tight and over her shoulder I saw grandpa and Nate sitting in the field, laughing but then a figure appeared in the upstairs window, an angry, broken figure… then like magic, everyone was gone, all that was left was the small frail broken body in my arms, my own eyes looking through me with a glassy expression, blood staining her pearly white skin, she's so small, so still and I can't breathe as shill screech echoed in my head… it took a moment to realize it was me screaming.

"Bootsy?!"

The voice pulls me out of my trance and I realize where I am, the day room, Briarcliff, curled into a chair in the far corner, bottle green eyes look up at me curiously and I smile "Sorry Gracie, my mind got away from me there for a second."

"In this place is it any wonder?" she laughs and takes a seat on the tattered old sofa across from me, lighting a cigarette while sending a glare over my shoulder.

I turn and see Lana sat alone, staring longingly out the barred window before asking "someone found their way into your bad books Gracie?"

"Something like that, bitch ruined everything." I quirk a brow to that but before I get the chance to ask Grace stood up right and moved faster than I'd ever seen her, I realized it was because Kit had walked in, looking intently at the floor and had a strange waddle to his walk. I wondered what exactly it was I was missing.

Whatever it was I wanted in, so took my own initiative and wordlessly made my way past the head banger and other crazies to the silent girl in the corner "Hey, your Lana Winters right?"

She looked up at me with cold brown eyes and nodded somberly "that's me."

"I'm Bootsy, you were here the other day to write about my infamous Apple Pie." I do my best to smile at her but with the shear coldness of the woman it was kind of hard, especially since she scoffed disbelievingly "'Your' apple pie?"

I bit the wall of my cheek tasting copper as to not lunch at the bitch "Yeah, Sister Jude uses some of my family recipes and in return I get a little leniency."

Her eyes seem to gain some sort of emotion from that as she looks me over, searching for any sign of crazy before taking a deep long drag "I don't think that women even knows the meaning of the word."

"Yeah, she's a sucker for the corporal punishment that one; I honestly think she gets off on it." she offers me a smile and I'm sure at least half of it is forced, but I'm not focusing on that, on her, my mind blanks as I see a certain someone stride in and over to a bruised and battered Kit. I knew they had an appointment today, Kit had mentioned it during breakfast where he'd knelt against the table rather than sit on the hard chair.

"Who's that?" her voice is curious but dull, like she's trying to squash out the little emotion in it.

I can feel myself blushing, willing the blood not to brighten my cheeks as I answer, tearing my eyes from the lean doctor and smiling almost shyly "oh, that's Dr. Thredson; he's here to see if Kit's cuckoo. He's nice."

"Kit Walker's a cold blooded killer, a monster, isn't that enough?" she's snarling over at the boy and I the growl in my chest before I hear it.

I can't seem to stop the words tumbling out of my mouth a little too loud "Enough for what? You think because he's a killer he's stopped being a person. That he chose this life, that anyone would choose this?"

"Why are you defending him?" it's almost a whisper and despite the eyes on us I stand, ready to fight as I glare down at her, my arms pressing into the back of her chair, pinning the judgy little bitch as I sneer "because he isn't the only monster in here, sweetie!"

Lana swallows hard at the realization that I'm not just an everyday nut-job, but a murderer to boot. I felt a pair of arms on me and began to struggle on instinct as a voice broke through the deranged laughter and wolf whistles "Hey, Carl, come on, no need for that, right Marilin?"

He's got his arm on Carl, with that same predatory way he had not even that night before and I'm looking into those big brown pools as I nod "yeah, I'm ok now, promise."

The snarling orderly lets me go with a disgruntled groan and I feel the eyes on me, my gaze flickering over to Kit and Grace, he looks kind of confused with a deep lined frown but Grace just smiles, probably wishing I'd have actually hit the woman. I noticed Oliver looking over at the reporter with this strange longing in his eyes and I kind of wish I hit her to, made her bleed and bruise, ugly her up… I didn't know why though.

"Marilin why don't you and I have a talk." I'd heard that sentence before, always a calm and soothing tone, like trying to lure a stray away from small children, but even with this tone on him there was something more, a hard edge to his voice that sent a tingling shiver down my spine as his hand brushed my lower back, carefully moving me away from the self-righteous, prissy Lana.

I'm more than aware of his long fingers still on me as we walk to his office "What was all that about?"

"Nothing…" I mumbled with a fall of my head, using the thin veil of curls to hide my unpermitted pout.

I hear the groan as we walk but don't look at him, not until he all but stops in front of me hands in his pockets, that all knowing smirk and a twitch of the big brows "Now you're just lying to me."

My teeth gnawed at my lower lip and I felt like a little girl again under his stare, it'd been so long since I felt that way "I'm sorry it's just… you should have heard the way she was talking about Kit."

"And what's your interest in Mr. Walker?" his voice lacks the disgruntled amusement I would get from anyone else, but it is filled with a curiosity that grabs my attention.

So again as he locks onto my gaze through those big Clark Kent glasses as I mutter without thought "he… he reminds me of someone I once knew. Plus he's kind of a sweetheart."

I watch as a shadow falls over him, like clock pieces working in his head, with a heavy breath Oliver sighs, shoulders falling "I see, but Marilin you have to understand that no matter who he may remind you of, he isn't that person and to others Kit Walker is just a boy who did terrible things."

There's no judgment in his eyes, not even a lick and my lip twitches ever so slightly "we all do terrible things Oliver, it's called being human."

His pink lips part in awe and I have the overwhelming urge to touch them, but I don't "I should get back, Lunch will be ready soon."

Oliver shakes himself from the moment and pushes back his glasses gently, clearing his throat "yes, I suppose you should… I'll see you later Marilin."

I don't bother to say goodbye, just wave lightly before skipping off to lunch, I felt better… better than I'd felt in a long time. However little did I know that as I merrily skipped down the hall his eyes narrowed on me before marching over to Frank and all but demanding "Hey Frank, do you think I could get a look at Miss. Marilin-Mae Boots's file?"

Frank, frowning in confusion as he agreed reluctantly "Bootsy? Um sure Doc, I guess so but why?"

"Just something I want to check." The explanation was simple enough; after all he was a highly respected Doctor, who was frank to argue with the man "I'll get it to you Doc."

And with that well trained smile Oliver said "thank you Frank."

I still sometimes wonder why he even bothered; after all I was far from his precious Lana… so very far.

I sat with Kit and grace during Lunch, Pepper waving her way over to take a snug seat beside me as Kit leaned across the table and whispered "what was all that about with you and Lana?"

"Don't worry about it Kitten." I wink with a bite of my apple, Grace smiling crooked as she laughs throwing an arm around the blondes shoulder "aw, are you a cute little kitty cat, Kit."

He shrugs her off with a matching chuckle and I hate myself for wishing he was someone else, that I was somewhere else…

"Bootsy?" I shake my head at the look of concern and oddity from the two across the table. Pepper engrossed in playing with her half eaten meal as Kit asks "you ok? You zoned out on us there for a minute."

I smile my best smile with a light shrug, realizing I'd eaten almost all the slop they call food and I don't know when I did that "I know, I swear this place is finally getting to me. I think I just need some air. Hey Pep's, you want to come outside and play?"

We always have an hour outside after dinner, well; those trusted but still guarded few anyway. Pepper pushes her chair back eagerly and takes my hand, both of us waving our friends off before leaving the room. Pepper and I spent the hour playing tag, hide and seek then just sitting the sun making daisy chains, it was a good afternoon. People always make fun of Pepper, but I know she doesn't belong here… she's too innocent, too good, but then people do have a way of destroying worth protecting.

The rest of the day went by pretty simply, Lana did her best to stay out of everyone's way, that girl had been here less than a week and was already making enemies, never the wisest move in a nut house. Even during kitchen duty I managed to have a little fun, Gracie and I playing with the flour and almost getting yelled at twice, Kit had just looked over with a smile while Shelley flirted with him shamelessly.

It was a normal thing really, whenever we had extra treats left over at the end of day Sister Jude would give them to staff or well behaved patients, today there had been quite a few leftovers so when I asked Sister Jude what I should do with them she thrust a small wicker basket into my hands and said in her usual stern, not-to-be-messed-with tone "hand them around the staff, you can have whatever's leftover from that."

By the time I get around to knock on Oliver's office door the basket in near empty "Come in."

"Delivery; sweets and treats for the taking." I smile brightly finding the good doctor sat at his desk and place the basket before him, doing my best to avoid the lack of jacket and how well his crisp white shirt hugs the muscled torso beneath, after all I'm not Shelley.

He stood with that hundred watt smile and rounded the table to peek inside the basket "did you smuggle these out or did Sister Jude have a stroke of some kind?"

"She doesn't like waste, says we she thankful for our food and not waste god's gift or some crap like that. So anyway we have a few donuts, all the jam are long gone, blueberry cupcakes and a selection of cookies; sprinkle or chocolate chip" I shuffle with a bright smile as he picks up a two chocolate chip.

I watch him take a bite, enjoying the taste and I feel kind of proud that he likes my baking "these are very good, but I have to confess oatmeal is my favorite."

"Well maybe if you're lucky I'll sneak you some tomorrow." My fingers curled into a long strand as I watched him, noticing the light stubble already forming from a long day's work, my smile dies the moment I notice something sat near his typewriter.

Marilin-Mae (Bootsy) Boots

Age; 22

Gender; Female

Patient Number; 35092

Conviction; Triple Homicide

WARNING – CONSIDERED DANGERIOUS AND UNSTABLE.

I couldn't see the rest of it, hidden under other scraps of paper but the tightness of my jaw hurt and my breath quickened in a flash of rage "You've been reading my file."

I stare him dead in those gorgeous eyes as a near panic engulfs him but it's fleeting, as though it were never there "I've skimmed over it. I was curious."

"So… now you know." I leaped from the table with such force I ached my small slipper-wearing feet, tearing the basket away as I go only for long callous fingers wrap around my arm "Marilin wait."

Oliver spun me back to him with little to no effort and I could feel the tears burning in my eyes, but I refused the release them "Don't, I get it. Now you know exactly what type of monster I am. You don't have to pretend to be my friend Oliver; I'm not going to go 'Hatchet Girl' on you. you don't have to play nice with the freak anymore."

Those bushy brows frowned in confusion before shaking his head, he was looking at me strange, those brown eyes blown black before speaking in a deeper tone, the one that sends a far to pleasant shiver down my spine "Hey, don't you dare talk about yourself that way!"

I was frozen into place, his grip leaving bruises on my pale flesh and honestly I hadn't expected that, any of it "Marilin… it's ok, it's ok."

I shake my head because I didn't understand how he could say that with such earnest, or why the just too tight grip felt so good, too good and I shove at him as hard as my small hands can muster "don't say that! It's not ok, nothing about me is ok! I killed them, I killed them and they deserved to die… I killed them and I loved every second of it so don't tell me that it's ok."

"Marilin, Marilin!" he shakes me to a stop, until I realize I was fighting him so hard I forgot to breath "I understand! it was for her, wasn't it… for Maebell."

My heart slammed against my chest at the name, the name I so lovingly picked and it killed me as I broke apart in front of this man, this stranger "IT WAS THEIR FAULT! They took her away from me, they took her from my arms the second I got her and then they told me to forget, how could… they let her die!"

I can't fight back the tears anymore as I sob, not even noticing as orderlies rush in only to be shooed away by the man I'm clung to, I don't even know him, I don't even remember shoving everything off the desk but I break apart for him, letting the pieces of my duck taped heart fall into his waiting hands as I mumble and weep.

He didn't judge me or was disgusted by me, I knew even Grace was a little sickened when the truth came out. However Oliver just held me, fingers brushing back my hair.

Later I would ask him why he held me like his life depended on it, even after I'd realized his obsession with them woman less than me, I asked him and he took of those glasses, looking me bare in the eye and said "because you loved your daughter and you deserved to morn her."

No one had let me morn, let me even say goodbye to her… my little girl.

But that's not why I killed them;

The stranger that survived the fire his wife and my daughter died in, the daughter they stole.

The whore my father moved into my mother's bed before she was even cold.

And my darling father, who couldn't bear to look me in the eye for the things I'd seen.

No, that's not why I killed them. I did it because they never gave us a chance, because I could have protected her, I would have protected her… like I'd protected him.

Because she wasn't the nasty words my father had called her... she was mine and after seven years it still felt like I was dying, drowning in the pain and truth that she's gone, my very own little princess...

My little angel,

...not some rape baby, but my baby.

Mine.

Hey, ok so I know this is freaky but trust me and please don't start hating ok? Thanks X x