Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

Kicking the Bucket List

sixteen

"And then it hits me:
you are smiling,
you are laughing,
you are happy

But it is not
because of me."
—.

Once the initial shock of realising that Antonio was interested in Lovino had worn off, he was somewhat confused to why. But he was happy nonetheless; his first class of the day was math with Lovino~. Maybe Lovi would talk to him this time, si? E-Even though he pretty much blew him off just now.

As Lovino brushed past him, the Spaniard didn't waste a single second and followed the Italian to class. Every so often, he would admire Lovi's butt through the fit of his maroon skinny jeans (Do he got a booty? He dooooo~). It was so cute~ Maybe it was squishy or something. It looked nice to squeeze in handfuls.

The older Vargas twin's tush aside, Toni wished he could just cuddle him 'til he was all cuddled out, but that was pretty much the equivalent of trying to hug a cactus. An angry cactus~.

Wait, those are porcupines.

Anyhow~ Antonio jogged to keep up with the Italian's pace, barely paying Feliciano any heed the moment they parted to go to class. He felt like a lost puppy for some reason, and all he wanted was for Lovino to finally, finally take notice of him and take him home. Which sounds oddly suggestive.

He cast a sideways glance at the Italian to his right. He was preoccupied with his phone again. Every few moments, his phone would ping and vibrate simultaneously as Lovino managed to avoid bumping into other people without glancing up from his phone.

Antonio wondered who Lovi was texting, and somehow, he felt a twinge of jealousy. If only Lovi could pay attention to him like that. Whoever he was talking to, Toni hoped they knew that they were really lucky people. The luckiest in the world. To be lavished with attention by Lovino would be like being noticed by a celebrity. It'd make them feel all special, and important, like they were the only people in the world that mattered, even if it were just for a little while.

A dejected sigh escaped the Spaniard's lips as he flopped down on the chair beside Lovi's, turning to look at him and admire his features. A tinge of red crossed his cheeks. Lovi is really, really handsome~! Dios, and his lips! His lips! They looked so soft and kissable and he just wanted to squeeze Lovi's cheeks and kiss the living daylights out of him~! He wondered what Lovino tasted like~

Emerald green eyes slowly trailed down from Lovino's face and to his slender neck, to the pronounced clavicles partially hidden within the confines of his black v-neck shirt, his creamy skin looking oh-so very enticing to kiss… to caress… to mark—

"Quit staring at me, bastard." Lovino growls out, clearly annoyed. Whoops~.

Antonio's face manages to redden even more, half-raising his hands up in an apologetic manner. "L-Lo siento, Lovi! I didn't mean to~"

The Italian scoffs in response. He didn't even bother to look up from his phone.

Did Antonio really mean that little to him..?

…D-Don't answer that, por favor.

Antonio scoots a little closer, not ready to leave him alone just yet. Okay. You can do this. "What the hell are you doing? Why are you near me?" Lovino sneers, finally glancing up to scowl at the Spaniard.

"But Lovi~" Antonio whines, scooting even closer. Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Lovino shoves him back, "No! Stay the hell away from me! You sketchy little creep!" He visibly shudders, already preparing the punch the living daylights out of Antonio. Thankfully, Toni catches the flying fist in time, as the Italian's other hand is clutching his phone. It pinged and vibrated again.

"Siento! Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

The older Vargas twin yanks his fist out of the Spaniard's grasp, moving his chair far, far away from the other. "Shut up already, dick cheese."

Antonio sighed, moving back to his original spot. They sit in a tense and awkward silence until their professor finally comes in. Lovino momentarily glances up at the stocky teacher before hesitantly shoving his phone into his pocket after switching it to silent.

It's lunchtime right now, and the Bad Touch Trio is planning to have lunch with Feliciano, Ludwig, and Kiku. Antonio is in the Vargas brothers' apartment at the moment, however, waiting for Feli to finish making lunch for Lovi because 'he hasn't been eating much lately'. Upon meeting up, Feli had excused himself for about twenty minutes so he could make Lovi some lunch and drop it off at the Performing Arts Department. Antonio was quick to seize the opportunity to see Lovino again and volunteered to bring it to him instead.

"Ve~ You know what, Toni?" Feli starts, slicing tomatoes on a chopping board. "Lovi had a phase once."

Antonio raises an eyebrow at this. "'A phase'?"

A giggle escapes the Italian's lips. "Si, si! I think it was when we were about eleven years old. Lovi had a salami phase. He was obsessed with salami." Feliciano pulls out a roll of salami and mozzarella cheese from the fridge. "He would eat salami for breakfast, lunch, and dinner~! Nonno didn't mind at first, but after a while, it became a serious problem~. Whenever Lovi didn't get to eat any salami, he would get really, really mad! So he found a way to make it himself using recipes he found on Google. It tasted amazing, though!"

The Spaniard couldn't help but laugh.

"Then when we had to move back to America, we sent him off to fat camp over the summer before school. So now, he's really skinny. Once he got back, though, he had this phase where every single thing in his closet came from Hot Topic~. Each time it comes up now and then, he always tells me, 'That was a dark time in my life, Feli. Now drop it.' So now he only wears clothes from, like, Marc Jacobs or Control Sector. He really, really likes Armani, though. But some of his shirts from Hot Topic were really nice~! And so soft~

"Ve~ So instead of getting Lovi obsessed with salami, he got obsessed with tomatoes instead! He still loves tomatoes as much as he did then, if not more~ Sometimes, he makes himself caprese when he's feeling sad."

"Aww~" Antonio can't help but blurt out. "That's so cute! So Lovi likes tomatoes, si? Maybe I should give him some as a peace offering. Would that be a good idea?" He cups his own cheeks. "And he makes caprese when he gets sad. Dios mio, that's adorable. But what does he get sad about?"

The younger Vargas twin's expression grows sombre as he starts to wrap the hoagie up in waxed paper. "Um… I don't know, really. I just know that he does." He taps the side of his forehead twice. "Twin's intuition!"

A lovelorn sigh escapes the Spaniard's lips. "Lovi's too cute to get sad."

Feli smiles up at him. "Ve~ You like fratello, don't you? You like like him."

"Ah~" Toni sheepishly smiles and scratches the back of his head. "I think I do. I don't know why I've never noticed it before… But Lovi won't give me the time of day! He hates me."

"Ve~ Lovi is bound to get over it somehow~! Maybe you can start today, with the sandwich!"

"Si, and maybe I can— maybe I can give him, like, a basket of tomatoes too! With a note~! And churros~!"

"Are you going to woo him?"

"Ah, I plan to~!"

"Ooh~ That's great! It's about time fratello's found someone~! But just remember this, Toni~" Feliciano leans in, the smile ever-present on his face never wavering. "If you break mio fratello's heart, I'll break your neck. Capisce?"

Antonio's blood runs cold in response to Feliciano's chilling tone and promise of future bodily harm. "F-Feli?" He stammers out, mortified emerald green eyes meeting steely chocolate brown ones. He steps back in shock. "O-Of course not! I would never hurt him!"

"Wonderful! Here you are~!" Without skipping a beat, Feliciano raises up the neatly-wrapped sub up to Antonio. The Spaniard, though overwhelmed, manages a terse nod before taking it from Feliciano's hands.

"I, uh… Gracias. I'll make s-sure he gets it…"

Feli's already begun cleaning up the area. "See you at the diner~!"

Antonio slowly nods. "Right! Ahahaha~" And with that, he quickly exits the apartment and briskly walks back to campus.

The Performing Arts Department of the Evergreen Hollows University was tucked to one side of the lush, green campus. It was right beside the Art Department, all types of people bustling in and out of the buildings. The department itself was a building located in between the Theatre of Performing Arts and the campus' own local art exhibit, The Lennox Collection of Magna Opera.

Antonio glanced up at the stately building and felt like he was in another world, or at least in an entirely different campus. So this is where Lovi belongs.

Maybe the Italian really was untouchable. Maybe Antonio would never be good enough to reach the level of someone as creative and wonderful as him.

The thought saddened him, but he didn't let that get him down. He was going to see Lovino! He had an actual reason to see him! Next time, he should bring Lovino some tomatoes~!

The department teemed with different types of people, some wearing ensembles that reminded him of Lady Gaga and others that wear clothes that would've probably had Francis raving nonstop. Several of them eyed him with either mild interest or distaste.

Antonio avoided looking at them and instead focussed on finding the right room Lovi was in. The building had several small theatres meant for minor productions, whilst the crème de la crème or the final presentations would take place in the Theatre of Performing Arts. He glanced down at the smudged number four on his hand. Theatre four…

He walked down the hall a bit more before he stopped in front of a pair of doors. A little gold plaque beside it had a '4' engraved into it. He considered knocking, but opted to push the doors open instead. EHU definitely didn't scrimp when it came to their illustrious Performing Arts Academy, that was for sure. He briefly gawked at the theatre as big as a warehouse, from the plush seats to the heavy red curtains that hang above the large stage. People were rushing about, barely paying him any heed. He stepped in, feeling like a fish out of water. Everything seemed so otherworldly.

"Excuse me…" he speaks up to a girl, only to have her brush past him. M-Maybe she didn't hear him. Let's try someone else.

"Hi, I'm—" he tries again, to a guy carrying coils and coils of thick black wires, only he didn't notice Antonio either. Never until now did Antonio feel so small. It's not that he was used to being in the centre of attention or anything, but he was usually never not noticed. He didn't usually fly under the radar here in EHU, so this was kind of a new thing for him.

He bites his lip, feeling embarrassed and sheepish at the same time. He opts to find Lovino himself. As he walks down the aisle, he sees the actors and actresses sitting in a circle onstage. The ones in the scene were already reading out their lines, a familiar redhead occasionally correcting them and their intonations. W-What was his name again? Al… Al something.

The Spaniard walks up to the stage. "Hi!"

Some of the actors stare at him blankly. Antonio points at the redhead, and one of the girls speak up. "Allistor, behind you."

Allistor stops and turns to face Antonio. He smiles. "Hi! Antonio, righ'?" He makes his way down the side of the stage.

A sheepish laugh escapes the brunette's lips. "Si, si! We met the other day!"

"Righ', righ'! Well, wha' can Ah do for yeh? Francis isn't here, Ah'm afraid."

"No, no, it's alright~ I was just wondering if you know Lovino Vargas?"

The Scotsman smiles. "'Course Ah do! Are yeh lookin' for 'im?"

"I am~! His brother asked me to give him his lunch."

Allistor nods. "Ah'll take yeh to 'im. Lov's working on th' props backstage wif th' others."

They walk up the steps to the stage and the Spaniard is led to the even more chaotic backstage.

"'Lov'?" Antonio echoes, confused.

There's this indefinite, vague twinkle in Allistor's forest green eyes. "Yep! Tha's me nickname for 'im."

Antonio swallows loudly, trying to ignore the pang of jealousy in his heart. Instead, he fakes a laugh. "Ahahaha~ And he doesn't mind when you call him that?"

"Not at all." And that's when Antonio sees him. He sees him the same time Allistor does, and when Allistor calls out his name, Lovino is quick to face the speaker, face flushed. A small smile graces the Italian's lips.

"Yeh 'ave a visitor," the redhead says, pointing at the Spaniard standing behind him with his thumb. The Spaniard's heartbeat sped up as his face began to redden.

"Hi, Lovi!"

Lovino stares at him blankly, all the light in his eyes dying a sudden death. "What're you doing here?"

Antonio bites his bottom lip before laughing, handing the hoagie over to Lovi. "Special delivery~! It's a sub from Feli. He thinks you haven't been eating much."

The Italian eyes the sandwich warily, as if Antonio may have poisoned it. He reaches out for it and takes it from the Spaniard's hands, the tips of Lovino's fingers brushing over Antonio's own.

"Grazie," he mutters, quickly glancing at Allistor.

"Yeh 'aven't been eating well lately, Lov?" Allistor asks, eyeing Lovino with concern before his expression grows playful. "Want me ta make yeh some haggis? Ah'll cook yeh a nice tuck-in!"

The Italian laughs, shoving the Scot back. "Hell no! Fuck your haggis."

Antonio inhales sharply, his fists clenching. He was overcome with jealousy, and he felt bad, because Allistor was a nice person, and you can't be jealous of nice people. That's bad. Really, really bad. They must be really good friends.

"Oh, come on! It's not tha' bad, innit? Yeh never know 'til yeh try, Lov."

Lovino shudders at the thought of haggis. "I don't get why you like it so much."

"Tha's why yeh should try it!"

"Over my dead body!"

Allistor pouts at him. "Aw, Lov. Don't talk like tha'."

The Italian flushes a bright red, biting his bottom lip and glancing down at his feet. "Whatever, bastard."

Then they all stand in silence for a few seconds, finally remembering that Antonio was with them. "Well, then!" Allistor starts, turning to Antonio.

Antonio can't help but find the smile mocking. He wanted to punch it off of Allistor's face— no, Antonio Fernandez-Carreido, that is not right! Mama raised you better than this!

"Shall Ah walk yeh out?" Aliistor asks. He seemed so kind and nice and genuine, which made Antonio feel even worse for wanting to punch Allistor for being so close to Lovino like that.

The Spaniard forces a wry smile on his face. "Ah, it's no problem. I know my way out."

He leaves the two to their own devices, weaving his way through the many people backstage. It hurt that he didn't matter all that much to Lovino. It really, really did. And— And seeing someone that close to Lovino, closer than Antonio would ever be, just made him feel really frustrated and angry! How does he get from where he is right now, to where Allistor is at?

He stares at his hand as he exits the theatre.

Antonio still remembers the way Lovino's fingertips felt on his skin.

"Franny? Gil? There's something I have to tell you," Antonio says later that night, when they've just come home from a gastropub. He seats them down on the black leather couch, sitting in the white armchair adjacent to them. "I'm interested in someone else now. And believe it or not, it's Lovino. Feli's brother."

There were a billion things Antonio expected from them— an outburst, protests, admonishments?— but silence was definitely not one of them. The trio sat in an awkward silence as the two processed this. But what Antonio didn't know was that the other two had already known this, and realised this sooner than Antonio himself. Gilbert and Francis sigh and look at each other.

They seem disappointed.

That is not good.

Francis slowly shakes his head. "Cher, I think it's best if you try and find someone else."

"But why?" Antonio whines. Then he thinks of Allistor and Lovino, laughing and smiling together, but he wants to know why else anyway.

"Dude," Gilbert deadpans. "The guy hates you. Mein Gott, why do you even like him?"

Antonio would've said 'You don't know that for sure!' but they all know that that's not true, and they all know that Lovino would rather punch himself in the face than be around Antonio. Which is sad, because Toni really, really likes him. Lovino just has to realise that Antonio has no vendetta against him, and that he wants them to be friends, si? And over time, they can be more than friends! Right? Crestfallen, he glances down at his hands before shaking his head resolutely.

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out~!" He's not going to give up just yet! He can't! Not when he's finally seen Lovino; gorgeous, irritable Lovino in a different light. "And I won't let that stop me, no. I'm going to try. Lovino's worth it— I just know it!"

And with that, he gets up from the armchair and grabs his wallet and jacket. "You're not going to his house now, are you?" Francis says, getting up as well lest Antoine do something irrational. Like wooing the other Vargas twin, for example.

"Nope," the Spaniard says, grinning at them. "I'm gonna buy tomatoes for mi tomate~!"

The next morning, Antonio was in front of the Vargas brothers' apartment again. Oddly enough, only Feli exited the apartment complex. Toni clutched the small basket of tomatoes in his hands a bit tighter, glancing over Feliciano's shoulder to see if the older Vargas was following him out of the building.

"Ve~ Buon giorno, Toni!" Feliciano greets, momentarily following Antonio's line of sight before going 'Oh~!' in realisation. "If you're looking for fratello, he's not here. He left earlier this morning." Then, he glances down at the basket of tomatoes in Antonio's hands. "Was that for him? How cute~!"

So the two began their five-minute walk to campus. Several weeks ago, Antonio would've killed— o-or temporarily subdue, rather—for this opportunity. He would have temporarily subdued Lovino for this, a chance to get to talk to Feliciano one-on-one.

And now, here it was, when all he wanted to do was see Lovino's face again. Dios, he could stare at Lovino's face all day. He was handsome, so very handsome indeed.

As they passed through the local Starbucks on the way to campus, perchance, Antonio glanced into the coffee shop. His heart dropped to the bottom of his chest. Allistor and Lovino were having breakfast together, laughing over something the latter said.

Antonio felt sad, and angry, and anguished, and jealous all at once. The green-eyed monster was looming over his shoulder once again, taunting him.

It was a cruel coincidence rigged by fate that Lovino turned at that exact moment and saw Antonio with Feliciano. If he was angry (which he probably was), he did an excellent job of concealing it from the redhead in front of him.

Lovino merely faked a smile and turned to the Scotsman again, his expression turning more and more genuine with every second that passed.

It was terrible.

Antonio couldn't pull his eyes away from both of them, being together. Lovino looked at Allistor the same way Antonio wanted Lovino to look at him.

After Lovino's Creative Writing class, he felt relatively satisfied with the several snippets of ideas and plots he'd conceived over the weekend. That movie marathon with Feli helped. He made his way out of the classroom as he slung his backpack over his shoulders after everyone else had left the room.

Not even one step outside of the classroom, he stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing Antonio. The Spaniard got down on one knee in front of him, raising a basket of— of tomatoes? up to him.

"Lovi, please accept my apology!" Antonio cried out.

What the actual fuck?

"And— And I'm sorry I punched you in the face! Even though you punched me first!"

Lovino finally took notice of his surroundings, hazel eyes frantically darting about, taking in the amused expressions of his peers as they whispered to each other. Dio mio.

"Shut up!" Lovino hissed, only for Antonio to yell even louder.

"Lo siento! Please accept my peace offering!"

"Gimme that—" The Italian yanked the basket out of the Spaniard's grasp, prompting the latter to lose his balance and tumble down to the former's feet.

I'm falling head over heels for you! Antonio wanted to say, but he couldn't, as Lovino muffled his mouth and repetitiously told him to 'shut the fuck up before I do it myself'.

Ooh~ Do it with a kiss~! The Spaniard couldn't help but think, trying to get up.

To his surprise, Lovino helped him up before dragging him off somewhere by the collar of his shirt. Antonio needn't be told twice to follow him. Suggestive jeers fuelled the Italian's rage and disbelief.

"Where are we going—"

Lovino shoved him into a nook in between the lockers, running a hand through his hair. He started to gesticulate, hazel eyes frantic and confused and just 1000% done. Finally, he starts to speak. "What the hell are you doing?!" He raises the basket of tomatoes up, pointing to it. "This! What the fuck is this?!"

Antonio knit his brows together before laughing. "It's a basket of tomatoes, Lovi~!"

Lovi looks at him in exasperation. "No fucking shit." He turns his gaze to the basket, looking at all the… different… types of tomatoes in it— what the hell, a can of peas?

He raises it up out of the basket and Antonio giggles. It had a yellow Post-It note on it that read 'PEAS OFFERING'.

"Pffft—" Lovino snorts, covering his mouth with his forearm so he could stifle a laugh. Still, his body shook with mirth.

The Spaniard beams at him, proud with himself at being able to make Lovi laugh— and for a second time~! He was getting good at this, si? "It's funny, right?"

Sadly, the older Vargas twin finally got a hold of himself, taking a deep breath and trying to wipe the look of amusement off his face before putting the can back into the basket. He resolutely clears his throat, face flushing in embarrassment.

"Apology accepted?"

Lovino turns away from him. He facepalms himself. "Yeah, I accept your stupid apology. Bastard."

"Yay~!" Antonio couldn't help but hug Lovino from behind, inwardly cursing the backpack that came in between them. Dios mio, he was so thin! Maybe Feli was right— maybe Lovi hadn't been eating much! But at the same time, he was so soft and warm~ What he would give to feel Lovi's body pressed flush against his…

"Don't touch me!" Lovino growls out, prying the stupid Spaniard's arms off of him.

Antonio complies, adroitly avoiding the Italian's elbows. Without a glance back, Lovino starts to make his way down the hallway, eyes trained on his black Vans. Antonio walks after him anyway.

"Stop following me." Lovi says. Then, in a more hushed tone, "How did you know?"

"Know what?" Antonio asks, wholly confused.

"That I like tomatoes. Who told you? Feliciano?"

Antonio smiles. "Si~! What're you having for lunch?"

Lovino stays silent for a few seconds before shakes his head. "I don't… I dunno. Whatever. You can leave me alone now, I accepted your fucking," he takes another glance at the basket in his hand. "…peace offering."

The Spaniard couldn't tear his eyes off of Lovino, not even once. He was completely enamoured with him. His mouth ran dry just looking at him, Dios, he was drop-dead gorgeous. But he didn't want to leave, not yet! Not when they've gained some semblance of reconciliation!

Something akin a whimper escaped his lips. "But Lovi~ At least let me take you to lunch, si? I'll pay. Peace offering 2.0."

"FY-fucking-I, I am perfectly capable of buying my own lunch, bastard."

"Yes, yes, but that doesn't mean you have to~!"

"Thanks, but no thanks. Per l'amore di Dio, just… leave me the fuck alone." And with that, Lovino briskly walks off, leaving a rejected Antonio in the dust. But then, he stops dead in his tracks, as if hesitating. He turns to Antonio, glaring at him and raising the basket up to eye-level. "Giving me this does not mean you can hit on my brother. Stay away from him. I saw you two together again this morning. But since I'm such a nice person? I'm gonna turn the other cheek and let it slide."

And Toni just grins, his heart skipping a beat. "I can live with that."

Lovino points a finger at him, eyes squinted. "Seriously. Stay away from him."

"Si, si! Of course~!"

Then Lovi walks away without another word, without a single glance back.

Translations:

si - yes (It./Esp.)
Dios - God (Esp.)
lo siento - I'm sorry (Esp.)
por favor - please (Esp.)
siento - sorry (Esp.)
nonno - grandfather (It.)
Dios mio - oh my God (Esp.)
fratello - brother (It.)
mio fratello - my brother (It.)
gracias - thank you (Esp.)
grazie - thank you (It.)
cher - dear (Fr.)
mein Gott - oh my God (Dt.)
mi tomate - my tomato (Esp.)
buon giorno - good morning (It.)
Dio mio - oh my God (It.)
per l'amore di Dio - for the love of God (It.)

And pseudo-pervert!Toni finally comes out~

Woo-hoo! 150 reviews~! To celebrate, I'll totes write a one shot fot the 175th reviewer :D Just make sure I can contact you so you can give me your prompt~. That'd be fun. I see lots of stuff about kink memes, but I don't really understand how anons get them, let alone how they work /is a n00b OTL

I have a lot of time on my hands now since it's summer, so I can write loads and maybe keep up the pace of a weekly update.

Review, por favor~!

~jellydonut16~

P.S. I'm so lame I keep on laughing at the 'PEAS OFFERING' pun am I funny or whAT HAHAHAHA

And, yes, Lovino had an emo phase in this fic. Or at least a scene phase (which can justify the skinny jeans). And a fat camp phase. And a salami phase.

P.P.P.S. What do you think of the love triangle so far? :D