I'm almost asleep again, when Cas sits up beside me. He doesn't stand up, he just sits there, with his feet hanging off the side, "You alright Cas?"

"Go to sleep Dean."

Instead I sat up and faced his back, "No seriously man are you alright?" I put my hand on his shoulder and he whipped around to face me.

"I DINDT FUCKING GET TO HIM IN TIME!" he pushed my shoulders up against the head board and I blinked away the pain.

I trusted Castiel, but it was him…"I'm sorry Cas, you're not-" I almost say you're not a bad guy, but then again, " you can't always get what you want." He didn't let go off me, but his grip lessened. "Cas come on, you should go to sleep."

For a second his hands tightened around my shoulders and his eyes became dark, but then he signed and let go of me. Cas stood up and went to the other bed, "I can't pretend anymore. There's a passion for you growing in me, and one way or another it's going to happen and I won't be held responsible for it."

"What do you mean?"

Castiel didn't respond, he just lay down and turned away from me. "Goodnight Dean."

I'm so stupid sometimes, "Yeah well scoot over Cas, it's warmer with another body next to me."

Castiel rolled over and his eyes were so bright in the dark room, "This doesn't mean what I think it means does it?"

"No, I don't think so." I searched for his hand under the covers and held it in mine, "I probably have Stockholm syndrome. Or I'm just really horny."

He moved up against me and draped an arm over my side, "God I hope so."

"For which one?"

He closed his eyes and so did I, "I couldn't care less." His breathing evened out and when I thought he had fallen asleep he said, "Although being it has always one of my favorite pastimes."

In the morning he was gone when I woke up and this time I wasn't handcuffed to anything so I considered this a good sign. I put on my clothes and went outside. It was bright and cold and I shivered a little, the Impala was still parked in the lot and I didn't hear any screaming so obviously he wasn't off murdering anyone that I could hear. Where is Castiel?

It's too cold outside for no jacket and mine's locked in the car and there's no way he'd leave the keys where I'd find them; so I go back inside and flip on the TV. The news is on and they were talking about Christmas and it's fast approach, I was about to change the channel when the news reporter said something about the mass murderer Castiel Novak. while he's talking a picture of Castiel from a gas station camera is shown on the TV and he looks different, wild even, "Stay tuned for the last people that say they saw the killer Castiel, over a month ago." A picture of my family showed on the screen and I crawled off and kneeled right in front of the TV. There was Sammy, his stupid little face. He was expressionless, mom stood next to him, her eyes red. Dad was resting a hand on each other shoulders and I couldn't breathe. Castiel's gone. I look out the window and there's no sight of him so I run the phone while it's commercial and dial up our house phone. Obviously I get the voicemail box, it was dad's voice, "it's the Winchester's"

"Mom, it's me, Dean. I'm sorry…I don't think I have a lot of time but I'm fine, he hasn't hurt me. I think he's just lonely." I flinch at how girly that sounds. "I miss y'all so much and I don't know how I've been able to go this long without Sammy's annoying voice," I laugh, and I might be crying a little bit, "anyways I have to go, I just thought…I felt like I needed to hear your voice again, I needed to be home for just a second. But don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I love you mom, Sam I know you did great in that play. I'm about to watch you on TV and I don't think y'all want to listen to me blubber like a girl, Dad I- bye."

I hung up the phone and crawl back over the TV and turn it up just a little bit louder. The news reporter is back and he's introducing the story, "Over a month ago Castiel Novak was sighted near the Kansas border, after the police chased him all over the state he shook them near Lawrence, Kansas. He made his way to the Winchester's place and has kidnapped their oldest son, Dean." A picture of me and Sam flashes on the screen. It's from the summer. Mom had seen us relaxing against the hay bells and she had taken a picture of us. "Mr. Winchester," there was footage of my family in our living room, Sammy even had on his best shirt, "Can you tell us how that night went down?"

Dad was sitting in his chair, like I expected him to not be there, "Well we sent the boy out to take the trash and he came back asking for the keys; which is something odd considering how late it was. Then that Castiel fellow came right in and held a gun to Dean's head. They left right after that. I ran out the driveway and saw that son of a gun knock out Dean."

"And any word if he's still alive? Are there any leads you plan on following?" again they were flashing a photo of me and I grinned at it, God I was a handsome devil. It was my senior picture.

Mom spoke up this time, you couldn't mistake the tremble in her voice, "I know that angels are watching over my little boy."

Sam wasn't looking at the camera; instead he seemed to have found his shoes very interesting.

"You'll rot your brains out sitting that close to a television." Castiel said from the doorway.

I jumped and shut off the TV, "Hey Cas."

"I understand Dean, family is important to most people. " Cas closes the door behind him and walks over to me and wraps me in his arms, for some reason I lean into him. "Let's go, I know of a great cabin where it's bound to snow.

"Will I ever go back?" Cas loosens his arms around me but I don't let him go, instead I wrap my arms tighter around him and bury my face in the crook of his neck. It's easy to do considering I'm a few inches taller than him.

He seems to realize I'm not letting go and moves his arm back around me, "I don't want you to," I can feel his deep voice rumbling through my chest, "but if you still want to after the winter…I'll let you go."

He knows that if I go back he can never see me again, it would be too dangerous for him and I don't see why he kills anyone. He could be such a well to do man and he's so nice and perfect and handsome and… "Cas?"

"Yeah Dean?"

"What would you do if I left?"

He shrugged picked up his bag near the dresser, "I haven't been to Mexico before, maybe I'll take a vacation. Maybe I'll quit, like I said before Dean, you have an effect on me that I don't understand." He opened the door and gestured for me to follow, "Who knows? Maybe I'll make the world remember my name.