Chapter 43: The House
Author's Note: I own nothing. I just like to play with the characters that were created by Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.
Also, thank you for those of who have commented and offered well-wishes in my difficult time. It means a lot to me. Writing these stories has been my strength (as silly as that sounds) and has grounded me.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me. More than you can imagine. These stories (this one in particular) are my babies and I adore the reviews and comments I receive. Much, much love to ALL of you!
Chapter 43: The House
EPOV (It's been awhile since we've heard from him…)
Bella's pregnant. Pregnant with our baby. Our Bean. Our little angel. Our miracle. I stared down at my wife and held her closely to my chest. We were in the guest house of my parents' home until further notice. We closed on the new home on Pavilion. We were in the process of cleaning up and cleaning out the house on Maple. Bella nearly had a heart attack when she saw all of the damage. Hell, I nearly had a heart attack when I saw all of the damage. The living room furniture was unsalvageable. My piano was ruined. Turpentine poured all over the black lacquer and the strings slashed. The bedroom was also ruined. The bedroom furniture was sliced with a knife and our bedding was torn to shreds. There was NO WAY in HELL that I was going to let Bella back into this house.
Thank God the family was willing to expedite our closing on the house on Pavilion. Esme was already working on purchasing new living room furniture. She also said that she was going to purchase a new piano for me as an early 33rd birthday present. Not like 33 is a big deal, but I think she was feeling guilty. And generous. A grand piano ain't cheap.
However, why am I awake, watching my sleeping wife? I can't sleep. Sleep has evaded me since the break in. Like Bella, I am afraid that something will happen. Something big. Huge. Beyond us both. Even Alice feels it. And she's omniscient. Since Bella took her test for her FOID card, she's been carrying the loaded revolver in her purse in a small box. I insisted on it. I definitely anti-gun, but I don't trust Mike. Hell, I'm willing to take the damn test if it means I'm going to protect my wife and child.
Tomorrow we were spending the day finishing up packing our home. All of our friends and family helped out and now we were just finalizing things. Most of our belongings were already in the house on Pavilion. We were just cleaning and making sure everything was set to put the house on the market. However, I had a sinking feeling in my gut.
Something is GOING to happen tomorrow. It's not going to be good.
I pulled Bella closer to me, laying my hand on her belly. "I love you, Bella," I said into her ear. "You too, Bean."
"Hmmm, Edward. My love. Hero…cheese," Bella mumbled.
"Nothing says I love you like good Gouda," I chuckled as I nestled closer to Bella. "Shit, I can't lose you. Promise me I won't lose you."
"I promise, Dr. McFuckme," she sighed. "Pork products."
I really love when Bella sleep talks. It's so random.
I closed my eyes and tried to will sleep to come. However, like the past week or so, it didn't. I just held onto my wife with all of the strength I could. I only hope that it was enough to protect her. To protect Bean. To protect us all.
xx AFS xx
"Edward? Wake up, handsome," Bella said as she pressed sweet kisses to my cheeks. "We have a date with a house. It needs a good cleaning."
"Can't I just pay someone to clean the damn house?" I mumbled. "I just got to sleep."
"We are not paying someone to clean the damn house, Edward Anthony. We are young and healthy. We can clean it ourselves. Get your cute ass out of bed," Bella said as she slapped my butt.
"Hey! That's smarts!"
"Don't make me use my gun on you. I'm certain you don't want a bullet in the ass," she said, her chocolaty brown eyes playful and her pink lips pursed.
"Bella," I whined, not sounding like distinguished doctor I am, "Give me another hour."
"You sound like one of my eighth graders. Didn't we have this conversation?" Bella snickered. I growled and stuck my tongue out at her. "Don't stick out your tongue unless you intend to use it."
"It's been awhile since I have used it," I said suggestively. I rolled over and pulled her over my body. Bella squealed and hit my chest playfully. "Perhaps I have to use it all over your body to convince you to get a cleaning crew."
"You can use it. Your tongue, that is. After we clean our house," she said she ran her fingers through my hair. "We're almost done."
"I know," I said as I kissed her neck, sucking lightly on the sensitive spot behind her ear. Bella pushed off of me and got out of bed. She threw some clothes at me and danced out of the bedroom. "You are a tease, Bella!"
"Am not!" she sang as I heard her leave the guest house. I grumbled and stood up. I stretched my tired body and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and pee. I looked at the reflection in the mirror and I looked like shit. I had dark circles under my eyes and this ordeal has aged me. I shook it off and put on the clothes that Bella tossed at me: a pair of track pants and a t-shirt. Grubbies. My favorite. Time to deep clean. I grumbled and padded into the bedroom, tossing on a pair of socks and my sneakers. I swiped a hat from my bag and placed it on my head. I did not want to contend with that cat that sits atop my head.
I walked into the main house and find Bella nibbling on a bagel while drinking some orange juice. Next to her plate was her prenatal vitamin. She really struggled with taking it. She hated the stupid horse pill. Not that I blame her. I hate taking my meds for my missing spleen. However, they were nowhere near as big as her vitamins. I walked to the coffee maker and poured myself a cup. "You really must hate me, Edward. You hate coffee and you are drinking it. Just to spite me."
"Bella, I've been sleeping like ass. I'm sorry that your caffeine addiction is not being sated. However, do you want our child coming out of the womb with the shakes?" I said as I drank the bitter shit in the mug. "I hate this. Blech."
"I'll trade you one prenatal vitamin for a cup of joe," she giggled.
"No thank you," I said dryly. "Let's go clean our house and then settle into our new one. I would like to sleep in my new king sized mattress, please!"
Bella swallowed her pill and we headed out to her car. Driving in a comfortable silence, we arrived at our old house. The front window is boarded up, again. The front garden is trampled and it doesn't look welcoming. Not anymore. We parked in the driveway and head into the garage. I take out the cleaning supplies from the backseat and we begin working in the kitchen. Bella plugged in her sound dock and we listen to some quiet jazz as we scrub.
"Edward, we're out of Clorox wipes. I'm going to run to the store and pick some more up. Do you want some lunch?" Bella asked.
"Sure. Whatever you are getting is fine with me," I said. I walk into the office and I'm dusting the built in shelves. I heard Bella's car leave and I hum quietly along with the music. I don't know how long I was working, but I heard the garage door open and close. "Bella? That was fast," I called out as I walked into the kitchen. However, I was not met with Bella. A tall blonde man with a crazed look in his eyes was standing in front of me. He was gaunt and had a sadistic sneer on his face. His clothes looked like they had not been washed in ages and there was a stench coming off of him. He had a large hunting knife in his hands. It was covered in blood. Bella…NO!
"Not who you were expecting, am I?" he sneered.
"Mike?" I whispered. Please let Bella be alright. PLEASE LET HER BE AT THE STORE!
"You're smart. But being a doctor, I'd expect you to be," Mike said as he idly played with his knife. Across his arms were long scars and a few fresh ones. To emphasize my point, Mike ran the knife along his scarred skin. He chuckled humorlessly as he did so. Stuffed in his jeans was a gun. Fuck me. I'm so screwed. "You're fucking my wife."
"Ex-wife," I countered. "You agreed to divorce her. You were engaged to be married."
"To some slut. A slut who got fucking pregnant. Stupid cow didn't know how to take a god damned pill," Mike snarled. "I tried to end it, but it wouldn't work. The cow lived long enough to bear my progeny."
"Thank God," I said. "However, your daughter will be raised without either of her parents. Her mother was killed by her father. What the fuck is wrong with that?"
"I didn't kill her. I provided a service. The world did not need Jessica Stanley. Just like they didn't need Charlotte Irons. Just like they don't need Bella Swan. And just like they don't need Edward Masen."
Think, Edward. Think. Get him to stall.
"What did any of them do to you? What did I do to you?" I asked.
Mike circled me and he ran the knife along the countertop. "Charlotte fucked with me. She was my first, you know. She looked so much like my Bella. However, she turned when I called her Bella's name. We were fucking and I yelled out Bella's name. She dumped me and I kicked her ass. We separated for a time. But I found her. I beat the shit out of her until she begged for mercy. I didn't give her any. So, she's dead.
"Jessica you know about. And Bella, well…Bella was, or rather, is my soul mate. My other half. I was stupid to sleep with Jessica. But Bella wasn't giving me any. She was so beautiful and then she turned into a fucking pig. Gaining all of that weight. You got her all skinny again. She's falling into old habits though. Packing on the pounds. You like chubby women, Edward?"
What the fuck is wrong with this guy? I paced to the opposite end of the kitchen, trying to get to the door. Mike was blocking my only exit.
"I was stupid to agree to divorce her. But I did. Now, she's no longer mine. But if you're out of the picture, she can come back to me," Mike said as he lunged for me. I twisted out of the way and had my back up against the pantry. Mike lunged again and his hunting knife sliced my forearm. I yelped out in pain and looked for anything to fight against him. He waved the knife at me wildly. I danced out of the way, trying to not get stabbed. The laceration in my arm was bleeding profusely, all over my arm and onto the floor. I tried to maintain pressure, but couldn't as I moved away from Mike.
Trying a new tactic, I reached for Mike's shirt and threw him against the pantry door, forcing him into the small room. The door collapsed under our combined weight. I was easily heavier than him by fifty pounds and it was all muscle. The knife flew out his hand and he reached for his gun. Fuck my life. I hold up my hands and back away. "I was going to make this quick. However, your fighting back is going to prolong your suffering, Dr. Masen." Mike stood up and he raised the gun. He cocked the hammer and aimed for my leg.
I felt a searing pain in my thigh and I collapsed onto the ground, writhing in agony. Dear God, please let Bella stay away. I can't lose her. I'd die for her. Please. As I was praying and Mike was cocking the gun for another shot, the garage door opened. "Bella! NO!" I screamed.
Bella walked through the door and saw Mike standing over me with the gun pointed at my chest. With lightening fast reflexes, Bella whipped out her own revolver and shot three times quickly in succession. Mike collapsed on top of me, landing right on my wounded leg. Bella's let out an ear piercing scream and rushed over to me. "Edward! Please be okay," she said in a panic.
"My leg," I croak out. We rolled Mike off my body and his eyes are fixed and dilated. I checked his pulse and there was none. There was gray matter all over the kitchen floor and he was gone. No way that he could have survived it.
"Is he…dead?" Bella whispered.
I looked at Mike and he had a bullet hole through his temple and two in his chest. "Yes, he's dead," I said weakly. Bella looked at me and sobbed. I was covered in blood. Both mine and Mike's. "Bella, we need to call the police."
"I know," she whispered. She looked down at my leg and placed her hands over the bullet wound, putting pressure on it. I hissed in pain. "Back pocket. My phone is in my back pocket." I reached into her pocket and pulled out the phone. I dialed 911 and relayed what happened to the dispatcher. As that was happening I was getting woozy. Bella pushed me onto the ground and maintained pressure on my leg wound. "Edward, you can't die. I refuse to let you die."
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm just so tired," I mumbled as my eyelids drooped.
"Stay awake, Edward," Bella said as she smacked my cheeks. I was fighting a losing battle. My mind was telling me that I needed sleep. My body was shutting down and I needed to heal.
"Love you, Bella," I muttered before I was engulfed in darkness.
xx AFS xx
I heard a quiet beep beep beep in my ear. My eyes fluttered open and I looked around. I was in a hospital room in Craven. My right forearm was covered in gauze and I couldn't really feel my leg. I searched the room and saw Bella curled up on the chair next to my bed in a pair of blue scrubs, her head resting on my good arm. Carlisle came in, his brows furrowed. "Carlisle?" I croaked.
"You're awake," he said, surprise lacing his tone. "How are you feeling?"
"Groggy, nauseous, numb from the waist down," I answered. "What's the diagnosis?"
"A seven inch lac on your arm. A bullet wound in your thigh. The bullet was lodged in your femur and we had to go in and extract it. You're on crutches for at least two months. You're red blood count was dangerously low, though. We had to transfuse you several times in the OR. We need to adjust your levels for your meds for a few weeks. But, you will make a complete recovery."
"How's Bella?" I asked sadly.
"She hasn't left your side since you were brought into your room," Carlisle said. "Only to remove her clothes for the police."
"Mike?"
"Dead. One of the bullets that Bella shot at him went into his brain stem. Immediate death," Carlisle said coldly. "Bastard."
"Tell me about it. Has she spoken to the police?"
"Yeah. Detective Santos said that it was justifiable homicide. It was self defense," Carlisle replied. Bella started trembling as Carlisle was talking. He walked over to her and caressed her face. Her features were pulled up in a grimace. "Bella, wake up, sweetheart."
Her brown eyes flutter open and she looked around. "Carlisle?" she whispered.
"Look who's awake," Carlisle said as he looked at me.
Bella turned to me and she saw my eyes. She launched out of the chair and into the bed. "You're awake. You're awake. You're okay and you're awake. Oh, Edward, I love you, so much. Thank god you're okay. Please tell me you're okay."
"I'm fine, beautiful girl," I said as I wrapped my arm around her waist. "I'm gimpy but I'm fine."
"Oh, thank GOD," she sobbed against my shoulder. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you."
"I'm not going anywhere," I whispered as I kissed her lips. "Well, I'd like to go home, but I'm not leaving you."
"You will be discharged tomorrow, Edward," Carlisle said with a smile. "I'm going to call Esme and Alice. Let them know that you're awake. Bella, I'll arrange for a cot for you. I'm assuming you will not want to go back to the guest house."
"No, I want to stay with Edward. Thank you, Carlisle," Bella said as she nestled closer to me. Carlisle nodded and left the room quietly. "I've never been so scared, Edward."
"Me neither, Bella. I couldn't lose you. I was doing everything in my power to protect you and keep you safe."
"But you forgot about yourself," she said as she smacked my shoulder. "How could you? If he had aimed any higher he would have gotten your femoral artery and you'd be dead."
"I'm impressed, Bella," I said, trying to diffuse the tension with humor.
"Edward," she said dryly.
"Bella, I'm fine. My meds will need to be adjusted and I get to use crutches for a couple of months. I'll be running marathons before you know it," I said as I held her closer.
"Is it really over?"
"Yes. Mike is no longer a part of our lives. He's dead," I answered.
"I killed him. God, I killed another person. I'm going to hell," she said, her breathing becoming labored. "I'm going to be arrested and…"
"Bella, calm down," I said. "It was self defense. Justifiable homicide."
"I know, but it doesn't negate the fact that I took another person's life," she sobbed. Her breathing was more erratic and I felt her heart beat through her chest.
"Bella, you need to calm down. You're going into a panic attack," I said, trying to soothe her. She looked up at me and her eyes were frantic. Put on your doctor hat, Masen. Calm down your wife. "Bella, listen to my voice. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm safe. You're safe." I cupped her face and forced her to look at me. "Look at me, Bella. You are fine. Take deep breaths. In through your nose and out through your mouth." I breathed with her and her eyes finally lost their crazed look. I pulled her to my chest and held her tightly. "I love you, Bella. I'll always love you." She nodded and snuggled against me.
The nurse rolled in a cot and gave me a pointed glare. Bella is safely ensconced in my arms, asleep. "She can't stay there," the nurse said curtly.
"She's not moving," I reply in a sharp tone. "If you have a problem, lodge it with Dr. Cullen."
"Who are you to talk to me like that?"
"Dr. Masen, head of the emergency department. My wife is not moving and if you have a problem with it too damn bad. Do I need to speak with your supervisor?" I sneer.
"No, Dr. Masen. I'm sorry," she said as she backed out of the room. "If you need anything, hit the call button." I nodded and she left the room. I pulled on the light and put my cheek against Bella's hair. I inhale the light fragrance of freesias and vanilla, letting it calm me. All too quickly, I lull back into a deep sleep.
xx AFS xx
"How am I going to walk on crutches with my arm?" I asked Carlisle. "It pulls on the stitches."
"Do you want a walker?" Carlisle chided.
"Fuck no!"
"Edward, language," Esme said as she held EJ. "I know you got injured and all, but you don't need to cuss."
"Esme, I have a hole in my leg and thirty stitches on my arm. I think I'm entitled to a little swearing," I grumble. "Where's Bella?"
"She's showering in the staff lounge," Carlisle answered. "She felt gross."
"Okay," I said. "What about the crutches?"
"Let's try them. If it's problematic, we can have you use a wheelchair until the stitches in your arm come out. Then you get to use crutches."
"Oh, yay," I said sarcastically. "When can I come back to work?"
"When you don't need the crutches," Carlisle said.
"What? I'm off for two months?" I squeaked.
"Yep. You have some significant physical therapy in front of you. Your previous injuries are going to flare up and we need to make sure you're okay. You will still be in charge of the ER, but won't be able to practice until you're medically cleared."
"So, I get to sit behind my desk all day," I sighed.
"Edward, we almost lost you. Again. I'd rather you sit behind a desk then be six feet under," Esme said as she kissed EJ's forehead. "Deal with it."
"Fine," I grumbled like a sullen teenager. I sat back on the bed looking at my nephew. He was babbling incoherently, but he was happy. I could hear Bella and Alice talking as they were walking down the hall. They came into the room.
"Clothes for you, baby brother," she said as she held up a bag. I gave her a half-hearted smile, only looking for the love of my life. She walked in after Alice. Bella looked terrible. She was still beautiful, but there was a desolation behind her eyes and a forlorn look to her appearance. She looked so broken.
During the night, Bella had had several horrific nightmares. She woke up screaming in my arms. It took the threat of sedation to get her calm down. She only did so because she didn't want to expose the baby to the medications. I was worried. I was worried as her husband. The guilt of killing Mike was obviously eating at her. That was as clear as day. She was also upset about me. I was hurt because of her psycho ex-husband and that guilt was also all-consuming.
I was also worried as a doctor. This stress is not good for her and definitely good for the baby. She needed some psychological help and I don't think just 'talking' about it would do her any good. Bella is stubborn though, she won't take medications while pregnant. Talking was her only option. Hell, I made an appointment with a colleague in Michele's, Bella's therapist, practice.
"Edward?" Bella rasped.
"I'm sorry. I guess I spaced out," I said, giving her a lopsided grin. "Feeling better?"
"No."
"You've got to be happy that you're in your own clothes," I said as I waved a hand at her outfit. She was wearing a pair of yoga pants and one of Dartmouth hoodies. Bella shrugged. I've to got to be strong for her. Give her time to process what she's gone through. Automatically, Bella went to the clothes that Alice brought for me to wear home. With a tender touch, she helped me get dressed. All of my IVs and foley catheter were removed. Alice, Carlisle, Esme and EJ left as Bella helped me change. Once I had on my clothes, a pair of workout pants and a t-shirt with a fleece, Bella helped put on my shoes and socks. "Bella?"
"What?" she sighed.
"I love you, beautiful girl," I said sadly.
"I love you, too," she whispered as she sat down next to me on the bed. "He's gone and yet, I can't shake this feeling of dread."
"I know," I said as I kissed her damp hair. "I have the same sinking feeling in my tummy. But, it could have been a lot worse, Bella."
"Excuse me, Dr. and Mrs. Masen?"
"Yes," I replied as I saw a friendly face. She was one of the doctors from the psych ward.
"I'm Dr. Cassie Luskan and I wanted to catch you before you were discharged. It appears that you were both victim to some traumatic situations over the past few months. Is that correct?" Cassie asked.
"Yeah," I said as I ran my hand through my hair. Ew, I need to shower. I feel so gross. "My wife's ex-husband stalked her all throughout our relationship and it finally came to a head yesterday."
"What happened?"
"I killed him," Bella murmured. "I found him trying to shoot Edward and I shot him three times."
"Mrs. Masen, you did what you had to. Anyhow, I'm here if you want to set up an appointment to meet with me and discuss recent events," Cassie said.
"Are you a psychiatrist?" Bella asked accusingly.
"I am. However, I'm not quick to whip out my prescription pad to help solve the problems of the mind," Cassie replied, not missing a beat. "I would like to work with both of you. Together. Are you available on Tuesday afternoon?"
"What time?" I asked. "My wife is a teacher and she gets out at three."
"We can fit you in at four. Does that work?"
I looked at Bella and she nodded minutely. "We'll be there. Where's your office?"
"It'll be the satellite office in Nottingbrook," Cassie said as she handed me her card. It was in the same building at Dr. Forks' office. I nodded and gave her a smile. "I'll see both of you on Tuesday at four."
"Thank you, Dr. Luskan," I said, giving her the professional courtesy.
"Thank you, Dr. Masen and Mrs. Masen," Cassie said as she shook both of our hands. She turned on her heel and left our room. Carlisle and Esme returned a few moments later with a wheelchair. I hobbled into it and was led to the hospital exit. Emmett was sitting in Bella's car and he helped me into the backseat of her Audi. Carlisle hopped in the front seat while Bella got in the back with me. It was a very somber drive back to Carlisle and Esme's. Emmett tried to make some jokes and get us to laugh, but it wasn't happening. Carlisle and Bella were worried about me. I was worried about Bella. The only positive in this whole thing was I could hire someone to finish cleaning my old house.
What? Getting on my hands and knees is not my idea of a good time.
xx AFS xx
"Come on Edward, just one more push on the leg press machine," Jared, my physical therapist, pushed me.
"Fuck you, Jared. This hurts," I groaned as I did the push, swearing under my breath the entire time. After I sat back in the leg press machine, Jared handed me a water bottle. I glared at him. "How much longer is my torture today?"
"We have ball squats, your personal favorite, and trampoline toss. Then you get to be iced up, old man," Jared said with an impish grin.
"I'm not old, Jared."
"Your older than me," Jared pointed out. "So, you're old. Deal with it, you geezer."
"I'm going to put a crutch up your ass, if you don't stop it," I said as I threw my towel at him. "I'll be so happy when I'm rid of you."
"Nah, you love me too much," Jared snorted. "How's the wifey?"
"Still depressed. It's been nearly six weeks since the whole thing and she's still a walking zombie. The only time I see life in her eyes is when we talk about Bean."
"Bean?" Jared asked.
"The baby," I answered. "We are going in for our twenty week appointment after she's out of school."
"Are you going to find out what you're having?" Jared asked as he assisted me to the ball squat part of the gym. AKA, the wall behind the treatment section. "Three sets of ten, Geezer."
"You suck, Jared," I grumbled. I leaned against the large ball and began doing my squats. Each day I was getting stronger and my stamina more prolonged. However, I still had a noticeable limp and I needed the crutches for support. I was taking on the persona of House at the hospital. Gruff, cranky and popping vicodin. However, I've limited myself to two vicodin a day. Only if I needed them. But damn, having a bullet shot in your leg does not feel good. "And to answer your question, we are going to find out what we're having. We're hoping for a girl."
"And the therapy? How's that?"
"I'm fine. Bella is still struggling. I think she needs some more assistance than just talking, but she won't take meds. Not with being pregnant. Something has to give," I said as I leaned against the ball.
"The only thing that brings her happiness right now is the baby?"
"I wouldn't say happiness, but it's the only time I see a glimpse of what Bella was before the whole incident," I sighed. "I miss my wife. She was so feisty and now she's not."
"Maybe you need an intervention," Jared shrugged. "Get all of her friends and family together to get her snap out of it."
"That seems a bit harsh," I said. "However, it does have merit. All she does is spend time in our house and go to work. Very robotic. I've tried taking her out, but she refuses. I've tried to get family to come over, but Bella disappears when they do. An intervention…interesting."
"Glad I could help, Geezer," Jared said as he clapped me on the shoulder. "Since you're dealing with that, I'll let you off of the trampoline toss. We'll put some ice on you and you're free to go."
"Thanks, Jared. You're a real pal," I said sarcastically. He winked at me and got some ice. I sat down, pulling up my workout pants. He wrapped the ice around my thigh and I gimped out of the physical therapy facility. Throwing my crutch into the backseat, I called Alice.
"What up, Baby Brother?"
"Hey Elf. I need your help."
"If this about Bella then you have my complete attention," Alice chimed. "She's a hot mess. Rose says she doesn't socialize at school and she goes through the motions. I haven't seen her since you were released from the hospital."
"I live with her and I haven't seen her since I was released from the hospital. The woman that sleeps in my bed is not my wife," I sighed. "The guilt of what she did is consuming her."
"She did it to protect you. However, I don't think she was aware of the ramifications of her actions," Alice said sadly. "What do you suggest?"
"An intervention."
"Oh, I like," Alice said, the excitement in her voice was evident. "Where, when, and all that jazz."
"Her show is this weekend. So I'm thinking on Sunday," I suggested. "It sucks, timing wise, but I need my wife back."
"I need my sister. EJ needs his aunt. I'll call everyone and we'll be there on Sunday afternoon," Alice replied.
"Thanks, Elf," I said. "I hope it'll be the right thing."
"It will. I love you."
"Love you, too, Alice," I said. I finished my call and headed into the ER. I had some paperwork to grab before I could go home. I left it on my desk in my haste to get to my physical therapy appointment. I parked and headed into my office. I got my paperwork, tossing it into my messenger bag when Carlisle came into my office. "Hey. What's up?"
"I got a phone call from Alice. An intervention?" Carlisle asked, his blonde brows up to his hairline.
"When was the last time you actually talked to my wife?"
"That night in the hospital," he replied.
"Me too. We need to get through to her. The therapy with Dr. Luskan just isn't helping her. I'm fine. The nightmares are gone, for the most part. But Bella hasn't slept through the night since the incident. I'm grasping at straws here. This should be a happy time for us. Just married, expecting our first child and moving into our dream home. But it's not." I said as I sat down on my couch. Carlisle plopped down next to me and put his arm around my shoulder. Tears rolled down my cheeks. "I miss her, Carlisle."
"I know, Edward. We miss her, too." Carlisle pulled me into an embrace. I sobbed. All of the repressed emotions that I felt were poured into that hug. We stayed in our embrace for an immeasurable amount of time. I was the one who pulled away, only because my ice was leaking. "We'll see you on Sunday."
"Thanks, Carlisle," I smiled weakly.
"I love you, Edward. You and Bella will be fine. I agree with Alice. It will be a good thing," Carlisle said as he kissed my cheek. I returned his affection and drove home. Bella's car was already in the garage of our new home. I parked next to her and hobbled into the kitchen.
"Hello?" I called out.
"In the kitchen," Bella said in a lifeless tone. "I'm making stir fry."
"Okay," I said as I wrapped my arms around her waist. She pulled away and went to chop some vegetables. With considerable gusto. "How was work?"
Bella gave a dismissive shrug of her shoulder and tossed the veggies into the pan. "I'll be happy when school is out."
"Have you heard anything about the principalship?"
"Nope. I didn't get it, Edward. I fucked up at the interview," Bella said with a cold tone to her voice.
"Bella, enough with this cold shoulder," I snapped. "I know you're hurting. So am I. But we need to get past this."
"I don't know if I can, Edward. I killed someone. Mike is dead because of me," she cried. "Cook your own damn dinner. I'm going for a drive." Bella grabbed her keys and left the house. I picked up the plate nearest to me and I threw across the room, screaming in frustration. I turned off the stove and tossed the vegetables.
I picked up the phone and called Alice. "I need you all here. Now," I barked into the phone.
"On our way," Alice said, her voice sad. "We'll park around the corner so she doesn't suspect anything."
"Good."
xx AFS xx
The family, Rose and Emmett, Jacob and Ren, Angela and Ben, Sherrie and shockingly enough, Charlie and Sue were sitting in my living room. Charlie and Sue were actually in town to visit Esme who was going to help with their wedding. I saw Bella's car pull up in the driveway nearly two hours later. She stomped into the kitchen, slamming the garage door. Bella walked into the living room, sorting through the mail.
"Bells, this is enough," Charlie said.
Bella let out a startled scream and dropped the mail. Her hand went to her growing belly and her other hand went to her heart. "Fuck, you startled me."
"This walking dead routine and shutting us all out is getting a little old, Bella," Emmett said with a frown.
"I fucking KILLED someone!" she screamed. "How can you all go on with your lives like normal? I can't."
"Bella, you defended yourself. You protected your husband," Carlisle said as he stood up. He slowly walked to her. "Did you want Mike to kill Edward?"
"No…I…don't…" she sniffled. "I just feel so guilty. I don't know how to get past it."
"You've been seeing a therapist, right?" Rose asked. Bella nodded. "That's a step in the right direction. However, you need to not shut out your family. Your friends. Your husband. The guy you married and declared your love for. The man who's child you're carrying. You love him right?"
"Of course I do."
"You have a poor way of showing it, Bella," I said, sounding harsher than I intended. "We haven't said more than a few words to each other since that day at the hospital. I miss you. We all miss you."
"I am so confused," Bella wailed as she sat down on the piano bench. "I should be happy. Mike is gone. GONE. He's never going to hurt us again. But, I can't get the picture of his dead eyes out of my head. I can't wrap my head around the fact that I took someone's life."
"Bella, I'm going to tell you a story," Sherrie said as she sat next to Bella. "I was married before. It was an abusive relationship. My first husband almost killed me. If it wasn't for the fact that I protected myself, I would have been dead."
"What did you do?" Bella muttered.
"When he was hitting me with his fists, I grabbed a knife. I stabbed him in the chest. The knife nicked his heart and he slowly bled out. By the time the ambulance arrived, there was no chance of his survival. I watched my first husband bleed to death on my kitchen floor. You were lucky, in a way. Mike was dead instantly. He felt no pain. Raymond, my first husband, was in agony until he took his last breath. I ended up having to take a year off of teaching to get my head in the right place."
"Did you feel this guilt?" Bella whispered.
"I did and much more. Bella, you are incredibly strong. However, by shutting out your friends, family, co-workers and husband, you're making it worse for you. For them. I don't want to force you to take time off, but if you don't work on you, I will."
"I can't, Sherrie. I need to work. It's the only thing that is keeping me sane," Bella said. "My show is this weekend and I don't want to let the kids down."
"You're letting your family down. Meghan can handle the show. I've already told her that she was in charge for the performances. Rosalie is also going to help along with Angela. It'll still be your show, but they are stepping in so you can focus on you. Your family. Most importantly, your husband. He needs you the most, Bella. Look at him."
Bella turned to look at me. I saw something flicker in her eyes that wasn't sadness. It was anger but a touch of lust.
"Do you love him?" Sherrie asked. Bella nodded. "Do you want to be with him forever?" Bella nodded emphatically. "Then go to him," Sherrie said as she hugged Bella tightly. Bella got up on unsteady feet and walked toward me. I stood up, balancing on my good leg. Her eyes were trained on the ground and she wouldn't meet my gaze.
I ran my fingers down her cheek. Unlike the past few weeks, Bella didn't pull away. She leaned into my touch. Progress. I cupped her chin and gently forced her heart shaped face to look at me. Her eyes were filled with tears. I faintly remembered the people in our living room leaving for the kitchen. I was only focused on Bella's chocolate brown eyes. Eyes that held all of the sadness of the world. All of the guilt and I had to do something to make that go away. "I love you, Bella. I'm sorry that we've had to endure all of this, but I can't imagine my life without you."
"I'm so sorry, Edward," she said as she wrapped her arms around my waist. She sobbed against my shirt, tears soaking through the fabric. "I love you so much. I'm so sorry I've been distant and bitchy and horrible to you. You've been through hell and back…and…"
"Shhhhh, Bella," I soothed as I sat us down on the couch. She curled up against me and cried against my shoulder. Alice waved at me and said that they were all leaving. I nodded, my arms still wrapped around Bella. "I've missed you, baby."
"I missed you, too, Edward," she said into the crook of my neck. "I've been so horrific lately. I can't…I feel so badly."
"Don't. I understand why. I'm just so worried about you," I said as I kissed her forehead. She flinched slightly but didn't move away. "You need to focus on getting yourself healthy."
"But you were the one who was injured, Edward."
"My wounds are healing. Your emotional scars are more pressing," I said as I looked down at her. "The only time I see the woman I married is when you mention Bean." I laid my hand on her baby bump. "Other than that, you're a shadow."
"I know. What can I do?"
"I think you need to spend more time with Dr. Luskan and Michele. Without me there. Your emotional wounds are more substantial than my physical ones. Write down what you feel. Keep a journal. I did give you one for our wedding," I teased.
"I've been writing down my thoughts. However, I've been trying to keep it lighthearted for Bean. I don't want to taint your journal with my dark feelings," Bella said. "Bean is the light in my day. Seeing my belly grow reminds me of what we have. But I couldn't look past my guilt."
"Bella, I understand your guilt. I've never took someone's life. I couldn't imagine it. However, when I lost my first patient, I was a mess. I kept replaying what I could have done to make it better. To prevent their death. But, I'm not God. Neither are you. You made a snap decision that ultimately saved my life. If given the choice, who would you want? Mike or me?"
"Edward…" Bella said.
"Answer the question," I said sternly.
"You know the answer."
"I want you to say it. Out loud. Mike or me? Who would you save?"
"You, Edward. I'd save you," Bella said. "I love you."
"If I was placed in the same situation, I'd answer the same way. You can't let your guilt consume you. You made the decision to save me and I'm so grateful for it. I can't imagine a world without you. I'm pretty certain that you can't imagine a world without me."
"No, I can't," Bella said as she looked at me. She really looked at me. Her eyes began to sparkle and the life returned to them. She placed her hands on my face and electricity jolted through my system. She leaned up and gently caressed her lips against mine. I let her lead the kiss but I loved the feeling of her mouth. If only she would move her mouth a little further south. God, I'm so horny. Bella pulled away and she gave me a tentative smile. "I love you, Edward."
"I love you, more, beautiful girl," I said as I kissed her lips chastely. "We'll get through this. I promise you."
"I know. I am sorry about…"
"Already forgotten. However, you do need to focus on you."
"I will," Bella replied as she hugged me. I pulled her over my legs and straddling my lap. We held onto each other, slowly reconnecting in the best way possible. We would be okay. I knew it. Our lives would continue to grow and flourish. Today was the beginning of our fresh start. A world without Mike. A world without anguish. A world without pain. A world where we were happy and loved. I couldn't wait to embark on this journey with her. With my love. With my soul mate. With my fresh start.
A/N: Okay, we're getting close to the end. A few loose ends to tie up: Bean…boy or girl? Names? Did Bella get the job as the principal? Also, some lemons for good measure.