The sun is slowly seeping through the large window in the front of the tree house. I open my eyes only to find blonde hair all over my face. I laugh a little to myself because Brittany is still laying on top of me in the exact same position I last remember.
Everything from last night comes flooding back into my memory. Yesterday was an all-around emotional rollercoaster. It was like I went from one extreme to the next. I woke up extremely happy in Brittany's embrace, then I was crying the next minute, and then I was back in Brittany's arms, the happiest I have been in a long time.
All because she kissed me.
I feel like I am back in junior high flailing about kissing a boy for the first time, except for this time it's genuine flailing, not just for show. Actually the first kiss I ever had was awful. It was a boy named Eric, it was too wet and too hard and nothing about it felt good at all.
But Brittany's kiss, ugh, it was just everything.
It was perfect.
I still feel like I'm not attached to my body, that maybe I dreamed the whole thing. That would be something that would happen to me. I bring my tongue out to wet my lips and can taste Brittany on them, so I am gonna go ahead and say that it actually happened.
Brittany stirs a little on top of me, nuzzling a little further into my embrace. I poke her in the sides with my fingers, "Brittany," I coo. "Brittany, wake up," I say softly.
She takes in a deep breath but doesn't say anything. I let my fingers tickle up and down her arms. I can feel her smiling against my neck. "I know you're awake," she sucks in a big breathe, but doesn't let it out. I laugh a little to myself. "Britt, you have to breathe."
She shakes her head.
"Why not?" I laugh.
"Because," is all she says but I can still feel her smiling.
"Okay," I say and bring my hands back to her sides, "you asked for it." I slowly start to wiggle my fingers.
"Santana, no!" She immediately cries, releasing the breath she was holding in her lungs.
"Too late," I start tickling her sides and she starts to raise off me. Brittany lets out a sharp screech, but I quickly wrap my arms around her so she can't get up and hold her close to my body.
She frowns down at me. "That's a hell of a way to wake up," she says with a pout.
"I'm sorry," I say loosening my grip around her. "I couldn't help myself."
I guess the blanket feel off while we were sleeping, although I didn't notice because Brittany was laying in me all night, but I feel her shivering right now. "Are you cold?" I ask softly.
"No," she says while tucking her hands into her chest between our bodies.
"Liar," I say squeezing her closer again.
"Maybe I should have brought out two blankets so we could sleep on one and still have a cover," her voice is muffled because her face is smashed into my chest. I rub her back with my arms, trying to get her to warm up a little.
"Hey, how did it go with your mom yesterday?" I ask, remembering that I forgot to ask her about that last night.
Brittany sits up and stretches out. "It went really well. They said she was doing a lot better than she was a few days ago and she can probably come home Tuesday."
"That's fantastic. Are you going to see her again today?" I ask.
"Mhm, I told her yesterday I would," she says before looking down sheepishly to her lap. "Actually," she starts. "Would- would you come with me? I really want her to meet you."
Brittany wants me to meet her mom? That shouldn't mean as much to me as it does and it shouldn't make me as nervous as I feel. "Of course," I say simply because I have a feeling I would do anything if she was the one asking me to.
"Great," she smiles at me before laying back down and curling into my side.
"Oh crap," I say suddenly remembering what Quinn asked me to do for her.
"What?"
"I forgot Quinn asked me to do her a favor while we're here." I slap my forehead. "Do you think we can make a stop before we leave Lima tomorrow?"
"Sure," Brittany shrugs her shoulders.
"Britt?" I say quietly. "Thank you, for last night."
I was thanking her for everything. For making me feel better. For helping me open up about last night. For just being there for me.
She nods her head and smiles at me.
/
We are walking back up to Brittany's room. I am carrying the huge comforter in my arms so I can't really see what's in front of me.
"Britt," I grunt, "Britt- hold up. I can't see." I peek over the top of the comforter, but she is nowhere to be found.
Just then I collide with a body coming down the stairs.
"Crap, ouch," I say dropping the comforter.
I look up from the ground and see a young man standing in front of me.
"Sorry," he exclaims. "I didn't see-" he now looks up to my face. "I'm Sam," he smiles, extending a hand out for me to shake.
I am assuming that this is Brittany's brother. I awkwardly reach forward and shake his hand. You can definitely tell that they are related. His eyes are almost as pretty as Brittany's. Almost. His lips are the hugest lips I have ever seen in my life. I am certain he could suck a baby's head right off if he wanted to.
Sam rests his elbow against the wall and leans against it. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
Is he serious right now?
"uh- I-" I stutter. I look around for some kind of distraction. I would hate to be rude to Brittany's family, but I can almost feel the insults burning at the back of my throat. Snixx is coming.
"Sam, leave Santana alone!" Brittany comes out of her room. She throws a sock at his head. Sam ducks away and rubs at the spot on his head. I let out a sigh of relief.
"Jesus, Britt. I was just saying hello," he scoffs.
Brittany folds her arms across her chest and narrows her eyes at him. Sam does the same thing and I am caught in the middle of an very bizarre brother/sister standoff.
"Yeah, I remember the last time you said 'hello' to one of my friends," she says under her breath.
"okay," I draw out and begin to walk up the stairs. I brush past Sam, trying to avoid eye contact, but the he grabs my arm to stop me.
"Nice to meet you Samantha," his voice all sultry like. Okay, so his eyes are really pretty, again not as pretty as Brittany's, and maybe he does have a puppy dog quality about him, but come on, at least get the girl's name you are trying to hit on right.
Amateur.
"It's Santana," I roll my eyes. "Nice to meet you too," I say sarcastically.
"Sorry about him," Brittany says before turning and closing her bedroom door. "He's weird." She makes a face. "He always hits on my friends."
"Oh, no its fine." I try and brush it off. Though I am still a little peeved at trouty mouth. "I don't even think you could call that hitting on someone. That was just sad. He has zero game."
"Thank you," she exclaims, "I have been trying to tell that to him for years."
I walk further into the room to go and sit on Brittany's bed. Just then a cat waddles its way out of the closet. It lets out a this sound that is a mix between a growl and a meow. I jump a little at the noise.
"Tubbs!" Brittany exclaims. "And where were you last night huh? I swear if you were hanging out with that no good tramp down the street again?" She is holding that insanely large cat at arm's length in front of her. Brittany leans closer to the cat and sniffs its fur. "Great now I have to buy more nicotine patches." She lets out an exasperated sigh and set him down on the mattress.
Lord Tubbington (I still can't get over that name) crawls up next to me and plops down right by one of my hands. I retract it quickly.
"Aww, he likes you." She coos. I'm not sure if it's to me or to the cat.
I'm not really an animal person per se. I prefer dogs because I never have any luck with cats. I honestly think they all hate me. I slowly lower my hand and lightly touch his fur when all the sudden he moves. I pull my hand back to my body quickly.
See what I mean.
"Santana," Brittany states calmly while coming to sit on the other side of Lord Tubbington, "he's not going to bite you. I promise."
To prove her point, Brittany takes my right hand in her left and guides it into petting the cat. Upon contact, the cat stirs again, but nuzzles into my touch and starts purring.
"See," she breathes. "You know," she starts talking, "Lord Tubbington doesn't let just anyone in his life. You have to be pretty special to hang with this cat. I also trained him to always growl at Sam, cause he's a butt."
So Tubbs doesn't like Trouty either.
We can make this work.
I keep petting Lord Tubbington's head while Brittany gets up to put something in her closet.
"How did he get this big?" I suddenly ask.
Brittany spins around quickly. "You see, Tubbs here," she gives him a pointed look, "sneaks out to hang with his lady friend. I named her Kitty. She's a total bitch by the way. Anyway, they always sneak out and go eat Arby's together. Tubbs came home one night and had a curly fry hanging off his fur. I banned him from seeing Kitty, but you know how that goes, it's like forbidden love or something. Every time I see Kitty in the streets, she hisses at me. Tubbs must have told her what I said, but he should know that I am only looking out for his health." Brittany speaks a little louder at that last part and talks directly to Lord Tubbington.
Lord Tubbington lets out a low meow and looks away from Brittany. Okay, that was strange. Maybe Brittany is a cat whisperer or something. I mean, she can do everything else. Maybe I am getting myself involved with some Dr. Dolittle shit and I am going to find out she has a secret life where she can actually talk to animals.
Although that would be pretty awesome.
I decide to play along though. "I'm sure Tubbs isn't doing this to hurt you. Maybe he loves Kitty." I say and scratch under his chin. He looks up into my eyes purring.
Brittany huffs and places her hands on her hips while shaking her head back and forth. "I just don't like that Kitty."
I really can't believe we are having a full conversation about the relationship between two cats but I can't stop myself from what I'm about to say. "Maybe Kitty has a reason she is mean? Maybe she has to be. It's a tough world out there and who can you really trust anyway?" I say quietly.
Brittany looks like she is about ready to argue that point, but instead her face softens as she realizes that maybe we aren't really talking about Kitty any more.
"You're right." Brittany steps closer to me and kneels down in front of me. "I guess I never thought of it like that, but Kitty should know that there are people in the world that she can trust."
I lower my head to my chest. "Yeah, I guess." I say under my breath.
/
"Hi mom," Brittany says excitedly while we step into her hospital room.
"Brittany!" Her mom says back just as excited with her arms outstretched toward her. Brittany walks over to her mother's bed side and gives her a big hug. I stand awkwardly in the doorway not really knowing what to do.
I've always been really weird around adults.
Brittany looks over to me and finds my eyes. She smiles and motions for me to come into the room.
"Mom, this is my friend Santana." Brittany's mom smiles at me.
Mrs. Pierce smiles brightly at me. "So, you're the famous Santana? Brittany wouldn't stop talking about you yesterday."
I look over to Brittany and raise my eyebrows. "Is that right?" I say smirking at her. Brittany's cheeks turn a dark shade of red as she sucks her lips into her mouth.
She lets out a nervous laugh clearing her throat in the process. "Clearly someone is delusional." She says while patting her mom's head. "You can't trust anything she tells you. Ever."
Her mother smacks Brittany's arm. "How else would I know who she was? I've never met her before and the last time I checked I'm wasn't a physic."
"I know you're not a side kick mom. Come on now." She rolls her eyes. "but if you ask me, you could totally pull it off. I have seen how scared you make dad and Sam when you are angry, or you could be one of those fun sidekicks, like a super mom or something because your cookies are just- out of this world."
Brittany's mom and I both start laughing at Brittany's rambling.
"Whatever smarty pants," her mother say back. "Any who," she sing songs. " I am the mother of this nut case," she pulls Brittany closer and ruffles her hair with her hand. "My name is Lisa." She smiles at me and extends her hand.
I take her hand in mine. "Nice to meet you," I smile back.
This is so comfortable. Being in here just watching the two of them talk back and forth. So far all the Pierce's seem really nice, but Brittany's mom is hilarious. I am so glad I decided to go along on this trip.
Seeing Brittany being so happy with her mom makes something swell deep inside my chest. I'm glad she gets to have these moments.
I let out a content sigh from my place in the chair.
If you were just watching the two of them at their home, or anywhere else, you wouldn't even know anything is wrong with Lisa. She just looks so happy, which is good, but at the same time it makes my heart clench. I guess it's the pessimist in me that would think, if I were ever in her position, I would be completely miserable and hating the world, but somehow I just don't think that is in the Pierce nature.
I mostly sit back and listen to the crazy conversations they are talking about. Occasionally Brittany's mom would ask me a question about what I was up to in life and where I go to school. I thought Brittany was a riot by herself, but with her mother around it's like I am at a comedy show. They feed off each other so well.
"I can't wait to get home," her mother sighs. "The food here is the worst." She says with a discussed face.
"We could go get you something? If you'd like." Brittany says.
I know I would hate to be cooped up in a hospital bed for days on end eating crappy food. I saw the food they brought her. It didn't even smell real.
"Oh, you know what would be great?" She says in a whisper. "Ice cream."
"Ice cream it is," I say.
"I can't make you guys go out and get me food." Mrs. Pierce says looking down at her hands.
"Oh come on mom, we both know ice cream is like your favorite thing ever." Brittany exclaims by my side.
Like mother, like daughter.
"It's really not a problem. Actually now I want ice cream too." I say while rubbing my stomach.
Mrs. Pierce rolls her eyes at the both of us before agreeing to let us go get her some ice cream.
/
Brittany and I are walking toward her car when she bumps her hip into mine. "Thank you for coming with me. My mom loves you."
"Well, I love your mom. She's hilarious." I return the hip bump. "Just like her daughter."
"Oh, if you think I'm hilarious, then you should see my whole family together." Brittany stops at the passenger side of the car. "You should see my mom at Christmas during our annual game of Christmas movie charades."
We climb into my car. I turn to Brittany and smirk at her. Brittany looks back at me with wary eyes. "...what?" She asks cautiously, her eyes narrowing.
My smirk turns into a full smile that stretches across my face. "You talked about me." I say simply.
Brittany's cheeks color a tiny bit, but, like always, she plays it cool. "Yeah, you're awesome" she says with a shrug. "Who wouldn't talk about you?"
I just smile at her response, but on the inside I am melting. The effect this woman has on me is unreal.
/
Visiting hours are almost up when we get back to the hospital, so we are a little rushed in eating our ice-cream, which sucks because I was actually looking forward to talking with Brittany's mom again. Not to mention, that I just want Brittany to spend all the time she can with her mom.
When it's time to say goodbye, Brittany gets a little chocked up, hugging her mom extra tight. I can see the struggle in both women's faces, neither one wanting to let go. If I had to take a guess, I would say that Brittany and her mother are really close.
When it's my turn to say goodbye to her mom, I am surprised by what she has to say to me. "Thank you for making my daughter happy again," she whispers into my ear. It's so soft that I am certain Brittany didn't hear it because I hardly heard it myself.
I'm not sure how to respond to that.
Was Brittany not happy before?
I just hug back a little tighter and nod my head.
As we are walking out of the room, I look over to Brittany and see that her eyes are teary, like she is going to cry, but is trying really hard not to.
I wish that she wasn't afraid to cry in front of me, but I understand not wanting to feel vulnerable around other people, but god knows I have had no qualms about crying in front of her. I think I have broken down too many times already and we have only known each other for a short while.
It pains me because I want to comfort her, but I don't know how.
/
We decide to go to the park because it's still early in the evening. By the time we got to the car, Brittany seemed to be fine. Her eyes were bright again.
It's almost dark when we get there, so no one is around.
I haven't been to a park in ages. Kids running around screaming while their parents yell at them isn't really my thing, but when there aren't any people here, it's actually quite relaxing.
Brittany told me on the way here that this is where she used to come as a kid. She even showed me the bench where Quackers saved her life.
"I had a lot of fun today," I say, taking in a deep breath from the fresh air that is surrounding us. Brittany just hums in response.
We are sitting at a picnic table that is overlooking a small lake. The lake looks like something out of a horror movie or one of those movies where all the fish turn into mutants. The water looks lethal.
"We should go swimming." Brittany blurts out.
"Um, how bout we don't. I'm not really looking to change into some freaky lizard thing tonight. Not to mention, we will freeze to death." I shudder at the thought.
"Well, I can keep you warm," she says and wiggles her eyebrows at me.
I didn't even realize that I was cold until now, the prospect of Brittany's body warming me is somehow making me colder. Maybe because I want Brittany's body pressed up against mine.
I don't say anything to Brittany's remarks and she must sense my hesitancy. "Come here," she says before she turns and climbs up onto the table. "Come on," she encourages me and pats the space in-between her legs.
I roll my eyes at her playfully, but climb up with her and shuffle back against her body. When my back touches her front, her hands come to wrap around my waist where she rests her hands on my stomach. She sets her chin down to rest in the space between my neck and shoulder.
Brittany starts to hum something that sounds familiar. After the first few notes, she starts to sing softly into my ear. "Jingle bells, batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The bat mobile lost its wheel and the joker took ballet." I shiver despite the fact that she is singing a freakin Christmas song into my ear.
I smile to myself before asking, "you do know that its September, right?"
Brittany squeezes my body closer to hers before she lays her head back down on my shoulder. "Rudolph the red nosed reign deer," she begins and I start to giggle.
"Do you know anything other than Christmas songs?"
"Yes, but I love Christmas. And I love Christmas music."
"What's your favorite song?"
She taps on her chin for a moment before recognition takes hold in her eyes. "I don't have a favorite song. I like too many to pick just one." We sit in silence for a few moments. With Brittany just holding me before she speaks again. "What's yours?" she asks while running her nose up the length of my neck.
I let out a shaky breath, "uh…" I think for a moment. "Well, right now I am obsessed with Pink, so probably 'Glitter in the air' by her."
"Why don't you sing that one then?" she asks ask as I turn my head to look at Brittany.
"Okay," I shrugs my shoulders, "but you have to sing it with me." I feel myself tense a little, but then I realize I shouldn't be worried about anything. It's just Brittany.
I slowly nod my head and I can see Brittany's face light up, "okay, but you have to start."
She smiles at that and gives me a quick peck on the cheek. I feel a flutter in my stomach at the gesture. "Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands? Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it? Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air? Have you ever looked fear in the face and said I just don't care?" Brittany runs her hands down my shoulders to my wrists where she laces out fingers together.
Brittany's voice is soft while she sings and with her so close to me, I find it hard to control the beating of my heart.
I sigh in content. She brushes my hair away from my neck and places a lingering kiss on my shoulder, then peppers a few up the slope of my neck. My skin feels like it's on fire. "Your turn," she breathes when I don't say anything.
I take a deep breath and begin, "It's only half past the point of no return the tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn, the thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase. Have you ever felt this way?"
Brittany joins with me for the chorus. "It's only half past the point of oblivion, the hourglass on the table, the walk before the run, the breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames. Have you ever felt this way?"
Brittany lets out a sigh from behind me before wrapping me up in a tight hug. "Your voice," she starts, "it- it's so beautiful."
I feel my cheeks heat up at her complement. It's not like no one has ever complemented my voice before, but like with everything else that Brittany does, it's a million times better.
I turn my head a little so that we are looking at each other. She nudges my nose with hers and I can't take it anymore. I have been wanting to do this since we woke up this morning. I lean forward and connect our lips. Brittany lets out a soft hum. I push her back until I am laying down in top of her, taking her bottom lip in mine. Then I feel something soft and warm on my lips. It's Brittany's tongue. I open my mouth a little and she slides her tongue in.
This time it's me who lets out a soft hum, or is it a moan? I can't be too sure because I lost my train of thought. Kissing Brittany has to be up there on my top list of anything I've ever experienced ever. When her tongue touches mine, I literally blank.
All I can do right now is feel her.
Touch her.
Be close to her.
There isn't much else I want to these days anyway, and that kind of scares me. What if she doesn't feel the same way that I do? What if this doesn't mean anything at all to her? But I'm not thinking about that right now. I couldn't if I wanted to.
Not when it feels this good.
This right.
I pull back suddenly needing oxygen or my lugs would burst. Brittany looks into my eyes and smiles, her eyes beaming up at me. "Santana, I-"
"We should probably get going," I interrupt her. I don't want to know what she is going to say next.
I can't.
Not right now anyway.
She is going to tell me that this isn't right. We can't do this. I don't even know why I thought that I could just lean forward and kiss her.
Brittany is such a good thing and good things just don't happen to Santana Lopez. There is always a price to pay.
Brittany's face falls at my words. "O-okay" she says a little broken.
/
On the drive back, neither one of us speaks. I don't even make eye contact with her because I feel terrible.
I'm such an idiot sometimes. We were having such a good time, or at least I was, I hope Brittany was too, and I just had to mess it up.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
When I get scared, I close up and I hurt people because its easier than being hurt myself.
As I am approaching a street light, I slightly pray that it doesn't turn red.
There has been an awkward silence since we got into the car. The radio isn't on, so the silence is magnified.
The light turns yellow and then red.
Of course.
The car rolls to a stop. You could cut the tension with a knife, it's that awkward.
My eyes shift to Brittany.
She looks like a kicked puppy. Her head is hanging down and her hands are folded in her lap. Its torture to see her like this, literally, and what makes it even worse, is that I did this, but I have no idea what to say.
So I don't say anything. I just press on the gas when the light turns green.
When we get back to her house, it's even worse. We still haven't said anything to each other and it's killing me.
Brittany's dad greets us both when we come in. I smile politely at him, but otherwise say nothing. I follow Brittany into the living room of her house and instead of sitting on the couch, with her I take a seat in the rocking chair.
Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best decision because I hear her let out a sigh from the couch and I feel like shit all over again. It just happened. Avoidance is in my blood or something.
Sam comes into the room a while later and sits in the chair that is right next to mine. I try my hardest to ignore his presence, but that's really hard to do when I can feel him staring at me.
"You look upset," he says suddenly.
I snap my head to him and look around the room. Brittany isn't in it. She must have slipped out in my mission to pretend like this wasn't a completely awkward situation by watching whatever was on TV.
His lips are so huge. "Listen, Trouty, I'm really not in the mood to be hit on by you, so could you please just take your guppy lips somewhere else?" I huff and turn to watch the TV again, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Whoa," Sam exclaims. "I was just trying to help," he says defensively. He gets up to leave. He is Brittany's brother and being Brittany's brother means that he shares some DNA with her meaning he also looks like a kicked puppy when sad.
That's just not fair.
I roll my eyes and call out to him "Sam, wait." He stops in the entrance of the living room. "I'm sorry, you didn't do anything wrong."
He crosses his arms across his chest and nods his head. I nod back to his chair and he comes back in to sit down.
"So, what are we watching," he asks as he gets comfortable in his chair.
"I have no idea," I say back. "I think it's something about people and swamps. It's disgusting."
"Swamp People! This is my favorite show," Sam exclaims. Then a moment later, "so what's up with you and Britt?" he asks.
"What do you mean?" I turn my head to look at him again.
"You guys both seem, I don't know," he shrugs.
"Nothing is up," I shrug and look back to the TV.
Sam laughs, "so something is really wrong then."
I shoot him a glare. "I just said nothing was wrong."
"Exactly." He smirks.
"What the hell does that mean?" I start getting defensive.
"You women always say nothing is wrong when something is wrong." I narrow my eyes at him. "Look, whatever it is, just talk to her about it. Brittany is probably one of the most understanding people on this planet."
I sit there for a while after he says this, not wanting to move, but at the same time wanting to go talk to Brittany.
Eventually I get up off the couch and make my way up to Brittany's bedroom. I open the door to her room just as she is stepping out. She just brushes past me and heads straight for the bathroom before I can say anything to her.
I put on my sweatpants and a t-shirt. I sink down on the mattress and throw my head into my hands.
What is wrong with me?
I pull the sheets back on the bed and crawl under the blankets. I pull them up so they are resting just below my nose.
When Brittany finally comes back and gets into bed I can feel her eyes burning into the back of my head.
I hate this.
I hate that I disappointed her.
I hate that I can't talk to anyone about how I actually feel.
"Did I do something wrong?" Brittany finally says from behind me.
"What?" Why would she think- "why would you say that?" I did something wrong. I'm the one who ruined the moment.
"Well, you haven't looked at me since the park. Since you kissed-"
"Britt," I breathe. "No, you didn't do anything." I say and turn over to face her, Sam's advice playing in the back of my mind. "I just- I'm sorry okay?" She nods. "This," I motion to her and me, "it's all new to me. Its kinda freaking me out."
"It's new to me too. Feeling like this about someone." She grabs one of my hands in hers. "All I know is that I think you are amazing." I tuck my chin to my chest and feel my face heating up. "And if you don't want to, we don't have to define anything, yet." I smile a little at that.
One, because she said that I was amazing.
Two, because she isn't pushing me to define anything.
And three, because she said yet.
Maybe Brittany does feel the same way I do.
Brittany reaches up a little and cups my cheek in her hand. "You're the amazing one," I breathe.
She shakes her head a little, "no, it's definitely you." And she boops my nose with the tip of her finger. I wrinkle my nose at her.
"Let's just agree to disagree."
"Fine," she pouts.
"No, don't pout. It's heartbreaking." She just pushes her lower lip out even further. "Please, I'll do anything," I beg because seeing Brittany sad is literally the worst thing ever and I've already had to live the past few hours seeing her upset.
"Why don't you make it go away?" She smirks at me.
"And how would I do that?" I feign innocence.
Her smirk only grows. She moves just a bit closer to me, until her lips are just centimeters away from mine. And she is still wearing that damn pout. "I'm sure you can think of something...," she says in the most innocent voice.
I narrow my eyes in thought. "Nope," I shrug my shoulders, "can't think of anything."
I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her so bad.
Brittany puffs out her lip more and it literally takes everything in me not to lean forward and kiss it away from her face. "You are such a tease." I say.
"Maybe," she shrugs, leaning closer to my ear, "but will you please just kiss me?" Her warm breath tickles my skin and sends a shiver right down my spine.
Brittany pulls back a little and I just stare at her with my mouth hanging open. It's so embarrassing the effect she has on me. "Fuck," I breathe.
I reach up and grab her face in my hands. I pull her into me until our lips meet. Brittany sighs into my mouth. I run my tongue over Brittany's bottom lip, silently begging for entrance. She opens her mouth almost immediately.
My hands run down to her neck so I can pull her deeper into me. She responds by pushing her body into me pushing our chests together. With ever stoke of her tongue against mine I feel something pull deep in my stomach. Brittany starts kissing me harder and more desperately. One of her hands slides down my stomach. She lifts up my shirt a little and places her palm flat against my skin.
That feeling in my stomach grows as the warmth of her hand spreads across my body and between my legs. I let out a soft hum into her mouth. Brittany rolls over onto her back and pulls me on top of her. My mind is racing with a million thoughts, but I can't concentrate on a single one of them. Not when Brittany is underneath me. Not when I can feel her hot breath mixing with my own. And definitely not when I feel her hands creeping back under my shirt.
Her hands are so soft and warm. She lets her fingers tickle up the sides of my ribs. I smile into the kiss and let out a light chuckle, but Brittany doesn't stop. She keeps lightly tracing her fingers up and down my sides. I laugh again and pull back a little to look down at her.
She is wearing a smile too.
"What?" She asks innocently, her eyes shining bright.
I shake my head at her and smile. "Nothing." I rest my forehead against hers, rolling it back and forth.
I lay my head down on her chest. I can hear the beating of her heart. It sounds just as crazy as mine feels right now. I lightly trace up and down Brittany's arm, starting at her shoulder, moving down to her wrist and then back up.
Her breathing evens out and her heart rate calms itself.
"Santana?" I feel her voice vibrate through her chest and into my ear.
"Hmm?" I hum back.
It's quiet for a while and I wonder if maybe I was just imagining Brittany's voice.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course." I say. But Brittany is still not saying anything. "Britt?" I lift myself up a little and I look down at her. She has her eyes closed and she is biting her lower lip. "Hey," I cup her cheek in my hand. She nuzzles into my touch, but doesn't open her eyes. "Talk to me," I say gently.
I inwardly laugh at myself because I was so scared of talking to her earlier and now I am telling her to talk to me.
"I just- I don't want you to get mad at me."
That kind of makes my heart sink a little in my chest because I don't want Brittany to think that she can't talk to me about something.
"Why would I be mad at you?"
Her eyes are darting back and forth between mine, like she is searching for something. She takes a deep breath before she speaks. "I really like you Santana."
I pause because I don't understand. "I sure hope you like me, otherwise thins would be a little weird. Don't cha think?" I smile at her, but she doesn't smile back. "Britt, I don't get it. Is that a bad thing? That you like me?" I feel the smile disappear from my face the longer she doesn't speak.
"No- no, it's not. It's- I've never... felt like this about someone before." She looks to her side.
I completely understand what she means. I've never felt like this with anyone. I mean there was Puck, but that was just sex. Sex that didn't even feel that good.
It was probably because I didn't really want to. Now I know why I didn't want to, but that's a few years after the fact.
So, yeah, I understand, but what I don't understand is why that would make me mad.
"Why would that make me mad?" I say softly.
"I don't know," she shrugs. "Maybe because earlier you didn't talk to me when I tried to talk to you."
"I'm really sorry about that. I don't usually talk about things. With anyone. I guess I just freaked out a little." Brittany nods in understanding. "And I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you." I say honestly.
"Okay," she says. Her face finally turns up. "So, it's okay then, that I like you?"
I smile at her and lean down to place a soft kiss on her lips. "It's most definitely okay." Now Brittany is smiling. "And I really like you too."
I got really excited when I was editing this and Pink came on shuffle. Probably more exited than I should have, but whatever.
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