Sorry this is so late! This has taken me roughly six weeks to write since I got writers block so bad and then also found it really difficult to write, so please let me know how it turned out! This also means I have only half a chapter left prewritten, so there will probably be a bit longer between updates in the future :( I'll try and get them out asap though!

Enjoy :)

SIDE B

Track 2: Temptation - Heaven 17

The anticipation that swirled in my stomach was almost crippling and the arousal between my legs insistent as we walked. I chastised myself silently for my inappropriate feelings, for not being able to distance myself from this, but still my knees felt weak as we climbed the steps to the cheapest-looking B&B, next to another nightclub, and my chest heaved as I fought not to look at her, fearful that she would see my dilated pupils, or worse still that I would find that same sight staring back at me.

But it's too late to hesitate

We can't keep on living like this

I looked up just at the wrong moment, catching her eye, the lyrics swirling in both our minds. We can't keep on living like this. Can we? I quickly looked away.

Leave no track

Don't look back

The music blared from next door as I drummed my fingers on the reception counter, waiting for someone to appear, my heart hammering and my legs jumping nervously. I needed to sleep, to escape from this. Though how could I possibly rest, knowing that she was there so close to me? Just a touch away...

My thoughts were interrupted when a rather sleazy-looking old man arrived at the desk, and when I asked him how much the charge would be for one night he looked both of us up and down in a way that made my skin crawl, before asking us whether or not we would prefer to pay by the hour, if that was all we needed it for.

"The night will do," I replied, pursing my lips in silent outrage. "I trust breakfast is included?"

He simply nodded to my question with a smirk, and told us that the charge would be twelve pounds for a double, or fifteen for a twin room, and I hastily opted for the latter before Bernie could make any case for the cheaper option. I couldn't deal with that.

You've got to make me an offer

That cannot be ignored

So let's head for home now

Everything I have is yours

We were on the second floor of the hotel - essentially an attic conversion - in one of the three small rooms located up there, consisting of two single beds, a dresser and chair, and an old radio. The hotel, being as cheap as it was, had only shared bathroom facilities, which were on the first floor downstairs. It was grimy to say the least, with broken locks and no toilet seats, and a rather alarming reddish-brown stain on the floor. Needless to say, we went down there together, guarding the door for one another as we did, and both thanking our lucky stars that we had had relatively little to drink. I didn't fancy vomiting in that toilet.

Painfully sobered by the chill of the room and the ghastliness of the facilities, the atmosphere between us was thicker than ever. In silence, we stripped down to our underwear for bed, keeping our back to one another as we did so. I could smell my arousal as I removed my trousers, still feeling the heat between my legs and fluttery feeling between my hips as visions of her, of us, flashed through my mind, and quickly dived into bed to hide myself, tossing my clothes haphazardly onto the dresser chair as I did so. I averted my eyes as she stood directly before me to do the same, still unable to ignore the image of her long legs and muscular frame in the corner of my vision as I did so, before she too climbed into bed, clicking off the bedside lamp as she did so.

"Goodnight," she said, her voice quiet and weak with strain though she tried to sound cheerful. My heart tugged.

"Goodnight."

Step by step and day by day

Every second counts

I can't break away

I made no effort to sleep, though I wanted to. All I could do was stare at the ceiling, willing myself to calm down and think of something else. I couldn't. She was like a balloon, filling my mind more and more by the second until I felt as though I could explode. My breaths were uneasy, ragged, and part of me wondered if I were having a panic attack. I swallowed deeply, and tried to concentrate on my breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

Keep us from temptation

Memories of us behind the club, on the bus, on the walk home flashed through my mind. It was almost as though I could still taste her on my lips, still feel her body pressed flush against mine, still smell the alcohol and tobacco on her breath and taste the saltiness of her skin. The exhilaration, the excitement, the thrill, all fresh in my mind as my desire burned on, desperate for her touch. I remembered the time we had sat on the back seat of the night bus, on the empty top deck, both still giddy from the dancing and the drink but by far more sober than we had been. I remembered her thigh pressed warm against mine as we sat, how we both went silent as we realised, and then the inviting touch of her hand. I remembered how we had looked up at one another, our eyes wide and searching, knowing it was wrong but wanting it all the same, desperate for it, mouths watering and lips heavy as her hand dragged slowly up my thigh until I could hold back no longer, pressing myself to her for a deep, biting kiss, hands already fumbling beneath her blouse, aching for the softness of her skin. Each time she touched me, each little kiss sent sparks shooting through my body and my mind, blinding me to everything else but her, and the connection we had there. I felt so close to her; it was a feeling that I never wanted to lose.

Keep us from temptation

My mind then skipped to the previous weekend, and how we had danced, tears stinging behind both of our eyes as we felt each other slipping away. My heart twisted and ached at the contrast as I recalled the first time we had danced together, giddy and happy and both completely smitten with our newfound companionship, and how I had never wanted to go home. I could stay in her company forever. Each smile, each little glance, each moment she met my eyes lit something inside me, making me feel electric and alive. I wanted to hold her hand, run my fingers through her hair, curl up with her on the sofa and feel her breathing steadily in my arms until we both fall asleep. I could envision the rest of my life with her, could not see a world without her, and it felt like an ice cold bullet to the gut thinking of all the hurdles we would have to face to be together. But I wanted to face them. I would do anything, I realised, sacrifice anything, to be with her. I would wait for her forever. This feeling was so much more than the teenage lust that it had started out as. It was not infatuation, it was not just attraction; I was in love with her.

Keep us from temptation

How easy it would be, in this moment, when she lay just two footsteps away from me, to climb in next to her, wrap my arms around her, and whisper that it would be okay. How easy it would be to reach out and touch her, feel her smooth skin against mine as our bare limbs collided for the first time, warm and inviting and comforting. How easy it would be to press my lips to hers, to dip my tongue inside as our limbs intertwined, breathing heavy and lustful and erratic as we moved together, hungrily devouring one another until we could take no more, collapsing against one another, falling asleep together, dreaming together...

Lead us not into temptation, ah!

A rustle of sheets.

Warmth beside me.

Hot breaths tickling my shoulder.

I froze, my breathing quickening, heart pounding. I could feel her bare legs against mine, trembling, and hear the knot in her throat as she tried to speak. She was laid on her side, facing me - that was all there was room for on the small mattress - but I remained facing upwards, unable to look at her, restraint tensing my every muscle.

Another rustle of sheets, and I felt her hand tentatively placed on my stomach, thumb brushing the sensitive skin there as my nerves twitched and heat shot straight to my core.

"Tell me to go, and I'll go."

Her voice was hoarse, thick, and unsure, the words almost choked out through her uneven breaths. I stayed still. I couldn't think, couldn't reason, couldn't speak. All I could focus on was her hand caressing my skin, her breaths against me and her leg draped over mine. The silence around us was all-encompassing, the sound of my own pounding heart the only thing breaking it as I attempted desperately to calm myself, to think past my own desire and consider this. I wanted her so badly, it was all I could do not to reach out and pull her to me, fuck her until we could both barely stand, grasp onto her for dear life. But my heart ached with the thought of having to let go again, for her to retreat from me, spent, and all of it meaning nothing. Could I really live with that?

I was snapped out of my thoughts by again her hand grazing across my stomach, butterflies swarming dizzyingly below her touch as her hand creeped lower and lower, and I found myself unable to hold back from rolling my hips against her hand. I fought harder, biting my lip, closing my eyes, but this served only to heighten the sensation and the throbbing between my legs. My heart jumped and my hips again jerked as she ran a long finger along the waistband of my underwear, my breath catching in my throat as she pushed under the dark lace.

"Tell me you want me to stop."

A long pause, then she was touching me, and I fought a losing battle to keep my control as she dipped a finger into my dripping heat, causing me to arch into her touch, a bitten-back whimper escaping my lips and my breathing sharp. I ground my teeth, squeezing my eyes shut and holding my breath in a desperate attempt to get my strength back, to refuse. My heart was racing, aching with my torment. I loved her; I wanted to be close to her and touch her and kiss her and be with her always, but I couldn't live like this, I couldn't live as her dirty little secret, something to entertain her whenever she felt like it. It hurt too much.

I shuddered slightly as I felt her lips on my shoulder, placing light, open-mouthed kisses there as her fingers delicately worked their way up and down my swollen folds. Her lips continued up my neck, her tongue dipping out every now and then to taste the salty perspiration on my skin, and I tensed my jaw impossibly tighter against the reactions of my body as she reached the sensitive spot just behind my ear, drawing a long line with the tip of her tongue before taking my earlobe gently between her lips, causing me to inhale sharply. My eyes stung and my chest felt almost painful with my restraint. I wanted to run, but at the same time I wanted to stay here, in this moment, forever. She was everything, and I had to make a decision.

The skin of my earlobe felt cool as her mouth left it, her lips tickling my ear in a way which would have made me squirm, were I not so intent on stillness.

"I love you."

The words were choked out, accompanied by a sharp intake of breath that could only be recognised as a sob, and her voice thick and croaky. She rested her forehead against my temple, her breaths heavy and shaky as she tried to steady herself, to regulate her breathing. I couldn't move. My mind raced through a thousand possibilities. She could be lying, could be drunk, or just confused. But I remembered last week, and the torment in her eyes, and the slump in her shoulders as she told me that it had to end there, and I allowed myself to wonder. She had feelings too, but just how deep they ran I didn't know - her usual robust, steely composure made it difficult to deduce. Now, however, in this hotel, in the dark silence of the night and the icy starkness of the room, she was bare, loose, lost in herself as she told me, again, her voice catching and her chest jerking with emotion.

"I am in love with you."

She said it on a sigh that whooshed past my ear like a breath of fresh air, dragging me back down to earth, bringing me to life, and my own held breath came rushing out, my chest convulsing and my heart wrenching as I turned to face her, illuminated by the streetlight spilling through the thin crochet curtains of the room. Her eyes were wide, glistening and searching, her forehead creased and her teeth digging into her lip as she gazed at me. She looked so beautiful, so vulnerable, so scared. The complications of this were immeasurable, the potential consequences devastating, but her eyes, her lips, her heart beating against my arm, let something snap in my gut. The risks, the possibilities, all were worth it unquestionably. All for her.

I brought up a hand to caress her cheek, feeling wet tears there and wiping them away with my thumb as my own came tumbling down. Her fringe had flopped down into her eyes, and I gently brushed it away, my stomach twisting and turning as though I were on a rollercoaster. I let out another deep breath as my reason dissolved and I was left only with desire. And love.

My lips found hers almost as if by nature, locking together tenderly as we finally gave in, allowed ourselves to feel, to savour our embraces, to let go. Her fingers retreated from my underwear, instead reaching up to tangle in my hair as we kissed, needing that leverage, that grasp of reality that threatened to slip away, and make all of this a dream. With each little gasp for breath she let out a little murmur, a whimper of satisfaction, of a long thirst finally being quenched as we kissed with every ounce of affection we could physically convey. It was dirty and raw, the intensity of our emotions, though still clad in our least attractive underwear, making us feel more naked and exposed than we had ever been, utterly and completely human and animalistic as her hands, still sticky from my arousal, caressed the smooth skin at the nape of my neck and our bodies clung together with perspiration. Yet somehow it was simultaneously the purest act imaginable: bare, unadulterated love and devotion being explored and communicated in this deep connection, so that I could feel and sense our souls intertwining irrevocably, forever tarnished with the fingerprints of a love so deep it may as well have been written into our DNA.

And then the kisses became hungrier, deeper as our legs locked around one another, our arms somehow finding ways to pull us closer against one another as our hips collided, rutting against one another as we greedily bit down on one another's lips, tasting and savouring and relishing each other until we could no longer stand any barrier between us. Bras were whipped off, knickers quickly discarded as we scrambled for exposure, to feel entirely vulnerable in one another's company for the first time, to feel that trust between us that could not be broken or reversed. I grasped her arse tightly with both hands, savouring the thick flesh beneath my fingers and the feeling of her hips against mine whilst simultaneously using it as leverage to flip her onto her back, straddling her as the moonlight illuminated her naked torso for the first time, allowing me to take in all her exposed beauty. I paused for a moment, raking my eyes over her goosebump-ridden flesh and her heaving chest as she gazed up at me, eyes dark and twinkling, eyelids hooded and cheeks flushed, lust and attraction lacing her every movement as her swollen lips moved with her deep, laboured breaths.

"I love you."

The sureness which laced my words surprised even me, as I realised that there was no question of how I felt towards her. Before, I may have passed it off as infatuation, as lust or even just confusion. But now I was certain. I had fallen deeply, irrevocably in love with my best friend.

I leant down to kiss her again, to feel the addictive warmth of her lips against mine before slowly making my way down her neck, leaving a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses until I reached her nipple, swirling around it with the tip of my tongue before taking it in my mouth. She squirmed beneath me, breaths coming heaving and quick as a small whimper escaped her lips, prompting me to grin in satisfaction as I grazed my teeth over the tip before letting go of it with a small pop and hearing her gasp as the cool air hit the wet, sensitised skin there.

It never fails to astound me just how beautiful she is. No matter what state she was - drunk, sober, dressed up, covered in mud from playing rugby - she always managed to take my breath away, regardless. And now, as I placed warm kisses on her soft stomach, my eyes roamed up to see her gazing down at me with that same awe, the same breathless admiration that I felt. I had never seen her so unguarded as that, and I felt a lump in my throat just knowing that she was mine and I was hers and that this was real. I loved her wholly and completely, with every fibre of my being, so much that it ached in my limbs and my chest, and my hand felt heavy as I lifted it to intertwine my fingers with hers, bringing it down to brush my lips across her knuckle before continuing to kiss downwards, my mouth watering with the desire to taste her on my tongue for the first time.

She gasped and writhed beneath me, squeezing my hand ever tighter as I peppered kisses along the groove of her hip and down between her thighs. My own breaths were purposefully heavy, teasing her so that she could feel my warm pants against her heat and increase her desperation for my tongue and my lips.

"Please, Serena," she whimpered, her voice weak and feeble from desire and arousal and her hips lifting as if to guide me to where she wanted me the most. Any other time I would have made her beg, would have waited until she was panting and sweating and moaning and whispering my name over and over, pleading with me to give in. But now wasn't the time for that. Truthfully, I needed her as much as she needed me, needed to taste her, consume her, feel ourselves bleeding into one.

She exhaled sharply as the tip of my tongue finally met with her slick heat, tasting the flavour that could only be described as her for the first time, sending my head spinning. I could hear her breaths becoming more and more erratic as I worked, her deep groans filling the air as she threw one arm above her head, arching her back and panting as her hand gripped mine ever tighter, as if I were the only thing keeping her down to earth. Over and over she whispered my name, in between whimpers and sighs, her legs draped over my shoulders and trembling as I circled her clit with the tip of my tongue.

"Ah!"

Her breath caught in her throat as I flicked the tip of my tongue over her clit, her hips bucking against my mouth and thighs clenched tight around the back of my head. I continued my movements, relishing the sound of her losing control beneath me, breaths becoming faster and deeper and whimpers becoming strangled and tight. Faster and faster my tongue worked, the taste of her being committed to my memory forever along with the delicious sounds she was making and the scent of her perspiration and arousal in my nostrils.

Then, just as I thought I couldn't keep my rhythm up any longer, she came, loud and exhilarated and spent and undone. Her hand never untangled from mine, still gripping tightly as she lost and regained function of her limbs, her whole body trembling and relaxing as her breaths became more languid and even. Instead, she used it to pull me back up to her, to her mouth, and capture me in a long, deep, heartfelt kiss, tasting herself on my tongue and moaning as my tongue collided with hers. I pressed myself long against her, our bare breasts colliding, sticky from perspiration and hot with arousal, until eventually we slowed, instead resting against one another, fitted together as perfectly as a lock and key as exhaustion took its toll, and I found my eyelids drooping.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, after a long period of silence. Her voice was again thick with emotion, sending my stomach lurching. "For being so afraid."

"Don't be," I replied quickly, holding on tighter to her hand, still entangled with mine. "I'm scared too."

She looked across at me, eyes wide and watery, vulnerability laced in her expression. "I wish things could be different," she sighed, placing a soft kiss on my shoulder. "I always say that if you're having to keep something a secret, then you shouldn't be doing it in the first place."

I chuckled, though it came out as more of a sob, my throat tight with held back sorrow. "It's not a bad rule to go by," I said, attempting to sound light hearted, but my voice broke.

She gave me a watery smile. "But this feels so right," she breathed, squeezing my hand. "This feels like the most natural thing in the world. I don't understand..." She trailed off, sniffing.

"Nor do I," I replied sadly, resting my forehead against hers. "But I love you." The words came out weakly, my voice trembling with fear and torment. "And that's all that matters. For now. The rest will work itself out later."

She met my eyes penetratingly, as if searching them for some trace of doubt, but she was met with only steely determination. "Yes," she agreed gently, on an outward breath. "And I love you too."

I leant forward to capture her lips in mine again, long and languid and savouring. "Let's get some sleep," I murmured against her lips, feeling heavy with both emotional and physical exhaustion. "You've got that project to finish tomorrow, remember," I joked.

"Yes," she replied with a slight laugh. "You're going to help me though." She grinned at me.

"Am I?" I teased, raising an eyebrow.

She smirked. "A problem shared is a problem halved," she recited, placing a persuasive peck on the corner of my mouth.

"Okay, fine," I said, with fake exasperation. "I'll be expecting some sort of payback, though."

She kissed me full on the lips then, and I felt rather than saw her smile. "I'm sure I can think of something."

We fell asleep together soon after, sticky limbs still intertwined and lips mere inches apart, ready for a shaky, terrified yet elated kiss of confirmation as morning came. We were doing this. We had given in. We loved each other, and that was worth the world.

::

I clicked the tape off.

Where did we go wrong?