Lovino watched the door close on him, and dropped his hand and smile. Anger stole the warmth from his heart. Arthur finally showed his true thoughts, and Lovino hated him for it, but his revenge on Arthur for hurting him would wait. A deeper wound on his heart throbbed and colored his thoughts with bloody, bloody red.
Putting his hand on the doorknob, about to leave, Feliciano's voice stopped him. "Where are you going?"
He glanced at his brother. "Out."
Feliciano's eyes were wet from crying, and he still rubbed the places Lovino had grabbed him too roughly. That teary face sent doubt through him. "You're coming back...right?"
"Of course. I won't let Arthur get away with saying shit like that about us. I just need to go...calm down."
"Oh...So, you're not mad at me?"
"No." He sighed. "I'll be back later." Before Feliciano could stop him with anymore chatter or unwanted feelings, Lovino walked out of the bedroom and shut the door behind him. He ran out of the house and to the stable. Mint greeted him and sniffed his hand for a treat, but he gave her no time to play games and threw a saddle on her. Lovino rode out of the stable at full gallop, letting a smug smirk creep up his lips when he caught sight of a black carriage down the road.
...
The darkness hid him as he approached the old house. He almost thought he'd taken a wrong turn, the land held a strange familiarity to him, but there was Arthur and Ludwig entering a destitute cottage. Lovino led Mint into the trees and tied her loosely to a branch. She huffed her disapproval, but he ignored her and worked his way through the woods until he was in line with the back of the house. Thanks to an incline, Lovino could see down into the house without being seen himself. All the rooms were dark, except one window, and there he caught a glimpse of familiar blond hair.
Silently, he crept down the slope and hid under the windowsill, just out of sight. From inside voices floated out into the night air, but he found them to be German. Lovino peeked carefully over the sill, hoping no one would notice.
Arthur and Ludwig stood near the door, but the bed held his real interest. The old man laying there, so small and frail, was almost unrecognizable. Six years had sucked away the life from his bones and color from his hair. Lovino remembered Aldrich Beilschmidt being a big, strong man, able to scare the fear of God into anyone. Could this really be the decrepit man laying in bed?
A woman stood up and stepped into view of the window. Lovino ducked down quickly as the men looked at her.
"I will dance on your grave if you die this way, you old goat."
Shock clenched his heart, and Lovino risked a glance inside. He knew that voice, and he knew the back of the woman standing in front of him. She, with the always sleepy voice and gentle hands, the woman he never thought he'd see again, who had always been his mother: Signora Karpusi.
Lovino couldn't take his eyes from her as she turned to talk with Ludwig. Time had added lines to her face, but age hadn't tainted her beauty. Streaks of gray flowed with her dark curls, like pearly clouds through the dark night. It made him want to cry seeing her so changed, yet so much the same.
He snapped from his nostalgia when Ludwig and Signora Karpusi exited the room. That left Arthur alone with Aldrich. They continued to speak in German, much to Lovino's ire, but the conversation caught his attention when Arthur said his name. He watched closely as Aldrich grew angry and yelled at Arthur. The Englishman, thoroughly subdued, left the room with a sulking expression. Knowing Arthur, Lovino guessed that he didn't get the information he wanted from the old man.
Now alone, Aldrich sank back into the bed. Even from the window, Lovino could tell the old man was ill. Silently, he slid out his knife and used it to slip the window latch. Aldrich didn't move at the window's opening and Lovino quietly hauled himself inside.
Aldrich raised his head, staring at him with tired eyes, and spoke in soft Italian, "Augustus? Have you finally come to drag me to Hell?"
"Yeah, I'm here to drag you to Hell, but I'm not my grandfather," he replied, surprised by how calm, detached his voice sounded.
Blue eyes focused slightly and shifted over him slowly. "Oh. I knew you would come."
"I said I would." Lovino stepped closer, looming over the older man.
"No little brother today? Good, your grandfather wouldn't want him to see you murder an old man in his bed."
"Don't patronize me. You deserve this," he spat and clutched the dagger in a tighter grip. He wasn't sure if he was ready to kill a man, but his honor insisted that he did.
"Don't act as if you know me, boy. Your grandfather planned this, don't you see." Aldrich stared at Lovino with exhausted anger. "He believed you would have to lost everything before you would be ready to take on his duties."
"Shut up," Lovino hissed.
"It all worked out so well, especially when you set fire to your own home to throw any 'assassins' off your trail. Augustus was right about you. You're clever, but weak—" Aldrich's voice cut off sharply and he looked down at the blade protruding from his chest. Blood flowed from thin lips as Aldrich sucked in a pained breath.
"I'm not weak," he said lowly and tore the blade free of its fleshy sheath. Aldrich let out a strangled cry, and Lovino smiled. "It's ironic that you die like my grandfather." The sheets slowly dyed red as Aldrich's heart pumped his life into the bed. Hours passed, maybe seconds, before the old man finally took one last wet, shuddering breath. Lovino stared between the body and at his blood covered knife, partially surprised that he wasn't descending into hysteria.
"Lovino?"
He looked up, startled. Signora Karpusi stood in the doorway, looking at him with tearful eyes, her only care in the world being that her foster son was alive and well. "It is you. I knew you were alive." Signora Karpusi enveloped him in her arms, smoothing a hand through his hair.
In her arms, reality struck him and he stared at her in horror. Lovino jerked out of her embrace and scrambled away, ignoring her calls. He bolted for the window and ran across to the trees with the blade gripped tightly in his hand. The dagger was used to kill a man, and Lovino was sure this wasn't its first kill. He didn't want to be reminded of his sin, but, even so, he refused to throw the blade away.
Once in the trees, he heard a sharp scream echo from the house. The cry distracted him and his foot caught on a root. He let out a strangled yelp as the blade in his hand caught his jaw on the way down. Warm blood coursed down his neck as Lovino hurried to pick himself up and tuck the knife away. He ran through the woods, searching for Mint in the dark. He finally found her and swung himself into the saddle. Lovino galloped out of the trees and down the road. He could only hope no one would follow.
...
Lovino didn't bother to stop at the stable. In his mad ride, Lovino came to realize he couldn't stay with Arthur. He couldn't bear facing Arthur—touching Arthur—with hands that had brought death to another, no matter how justifiable. It mattered not if he wanted to stay, there was also the fact people would be looking for him. Lovino couldn't face Arthur and couldn't stand to bring even a shadow of danger to Feliciano. Leaving was the best answer, but he still had doubts.
He sneaked inside, praying Feliciano was asleep, and hurried to the bedroom. Feliciano was laying in bed, and Lovino moved silently through the room. He found a sturdy pack and shoved a shirt and a pair of trousers into the bag. Light flooded the room suddenly, and he turned to find Feliciano sitting up in bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"Lovi?" His brother stopped mid yawn and focused on the pack in his hand. "What happened? Where are you going?"
"I...I'm going away for awhile."
"What!" Feliciano lept from the bed and rushed over to him, bringing a lit candle. "If this is about Arthur—"
"This has nothing to do with him!" Lovino pressed a hand to his head, feeling a bit dizzy, and sighed.
"Lovino, your neck!" His brother touched his jaw and pulled back with red fingers. "Wait here." Feliciano ran out of the room.
He sighed again and went to the mirror to look at the wound. A deep cut ran along his jaw and stopped just below his ear. Lovino ignored the wound in favor of shoving a small purse of money into his bag. It wasn't a large amount, but it was enough to maybe buy a room at an inn.
Feliciano came back with a bowl of water and bandages. He let his brother sit him down and fuss over his cuts and bruises. "This is going to scar," Feliciano said, applying the last bandage.
"I don't care. I have to leave now."
"Alright. Give me a moment to get dressed and we'll go." Feliciano turned to the dresser with his clothes, but Lovino laid a hand on his arm.
"No, Feliciano...You're not coming with me this time."
For a moment, Feliciano blinked at him with wide, startled eyes, and Lovino remembered the dark night he'd woken his little brother from his bed and stole away in the dark. But he wasn't taking his brother with him this time, there was no reason for it. Feliciano had a safe, comfortable home, and Lovino had no reason to take that from him. "You're leaving me here...alone?"
"No, Arthur will care for you. I'll tell him where to take you." Lovino went to Arthur's desk and searched for two blank pieces of paper.
"No! You can't leave me!" Feliciano latched onto his arm.
"Shut up. I'm trying to write." Lovino ignored his brother's cries as he wrote a letter for Arthur and another for Roderich. He hesitated on Arthur's letter until he finally threw caution to the wind and sighed his full name. There was no reason to hide his name anymore. He folded the letters carefully, sealing them with wax from the candle, and set them where they could easily be found.
"Don't leave me," Feliciano sobbed, clutching his shirt in a white-knuckled grip.
"I'm sorry, but I have to go. I'll come back, I swear."
"I'm going with you!" Feliciano stared at him, cheeks wet with tears.
"No, you're staying here! I won't take you with me!"
"Why!"
Lovino jerked his arm from Feliciano's grip and looked away. He couldn't stand it when Feliciano cried. "I can't. You're safer here."
"I want to stay with you!"
He clenched his fist and readied words he knew would do more harm than good, but Lovino wouldn't risk Feliciano going back to being poor and sick. "You'll only slow me down."
Feliciano reeled back as if he'd been slapped. "But..."
"Don't be a burden. I said I'd come back to you, and I will, but I don't want you there." It hurt him to say that, but he had to do it. It was for the best, he convinced himself.
Tears slipped silently down Feliciano's cheeks. Lovino turned away, hiding his own misery, and walked out of the bedroom. Feliciano followed him quietly to the front door and stopped, not daring to cross the threshold. He tied his pack to Mint's saddle, and glanced back at Feliciano. Slowly, he walked back to his brother. Feliciano leaned against the door frame, his shoulders hunched and shaking.
Lovino let out a breath and folded Feliciano into his arms, hugging his dear brother tightly. "I love you most. I promise I'll come back. You'll see. I'm going to find us a home for just you and I. You'll be able to do whatever you want there. You'll see."
"But...but this is our home," Feliciano whispered weakly, clinging to him.
"No...This is Arthur's home. I'll find us something for just us." Lovino kissed Feliciano's forehead, feeling something wet escape his eyes.
"I don't want you to go. Please, stay."
"No." He stepped back. "I'll see you when I find that home."
Feliciano stepped forward and kissed his cheeks. "Come back soon."
He reached up and wiped away Feliciano's stray tears. The action only brought more tears, and made him regret his decision to leave. Lovino forced himself to walk away and get on Mint. he hadn't even reached the end of the drive when Feliciano's cry pierced the air.
"Brother!"
That was almost enough to make him jump from the horse and run back to Feliciano, but Lovino clutched the reigns tighter and didn't look back. He knew that cry would haunt him.
His destination was uncertain, and he was afraid, but there was nowhere to go except forward. He couldn't go back to the safety of the past, and he couldn't stay in the comfort of the present. The future waited for him, and he would rush to meet it. He looked back on the house he'd spent so many months in, trying to memorize the sight; he had the cold feeling that it would be many years before he returned; and kicked Mint into a gallop.
There are four more chapters left and then it's done. Enjoy until then.
-Windy