CHAPTER 9:
IS THIS A CLOAKING CLOAK?!
The time leading up to Christmas wasn't very eventful, well, save for a moment at their first Quidditch match where the Bludgers went berserk, and tried to hit Harry. Harry would have marked that down as an accident, but even so, he couldn't help but mark the feeling that someone was out to get him. Well, Malfoy was, but Harry was pretty sure that diddling with Bludgers wasn't his style.
Had he voiced his suspicions to any of the staff, he probably would have been compared, unfavourably, to a certain Alastor Moody, an Auror given the nom de guerre of 'Mad Eye'. Instead, he kept them to himself, and Hermione, who was something of his sounding board. She did think that, unless something further happened, it was coincidence.
It was a relatively minor something, anyway. There was some excitement in the Wizarding World, about Sirius Black apparently being given a re-trial. It was being done very hush-hush. GLaDOS had mentioned having something to do with that, but would say no more.
With GLaDOS' okay, Harry got Hermione an instruction manual for the Portal Gun, along with a signed paper by Gordon Freeman. It was on exotic matter states, and was signed, From the depths of insanity to one of my top fans, yours sincerely, Doctor Gordon Freeman. Cho Chang and Marietta Edgecomb got copies of the 'official' history of Aperture, as they had been intrigued by the facility. For Ron, after learning that he enjoyed playing chess, Harry got him a book on similar games like fairy chess, shogi, and go. And for Neville, he got a special edition Herbology text. The twins got a hologram projector and an instruction manual, custom-written by GLaDOS to show how to cause pranks with it. Harry got something similar not as a present, but as a request from GLaDOS to ask Dumbledore if he could do this during the feast.
Harry bought a packet of sherbet lemons for Dumbledore, a statue of a dragon for Hagrid, and a badge for each of the four House Heads, each with a hologram of the House coat of arms on them (the sort of flat hologram you got in credit cards). The statue and hologram badges were created in Aperture by GLaDOS for Harry to give to them. He even, as an attempt to offer Draco Malfoy an olive branch of sorts, obtained a framed poster of the Draco constellation, with some astronomy facts. Apparently the Space Core helped with that one. Time would tell whether Draco accepted it.
On Christmas Day, Harry woke up early in the morning to find a small pile of presents waiting for him. The first was from Hagrid, a crudely carved wooden flute. Another was from Mrs Weasley, a home-made jumper and fudge. Hermione had gotten him a box of Chocolate Frogs…and a book called Rivals: Conflict as the Fuel of Science by Michael White(1). Ron had given him an old copy of Quidditch Through the Ages, and while Harry didn't have much interest in playing the sport (what could compare to the thrills of completing test chambers in Aperture?), learning its history was another matter.
There was a card from GLaDOS, who said that her Christmas present would arrive in the evening. Chell and Wheatley sent cards as well, with the mute woman sending him the latest Discworld book (Harry enjoyed those), and Wheatley saying he had ordered a video that would be waiting for Harry when he came back to Aperture. Rattmann had sent a bizarre but still excellent painting of Harry as a wizard. Even Freeman got in on the act, sending a card that stated a copy of The Matrix would be waiting for him back at home.
The final gift was the really odd one. It was a shapeless, silvery mass of cloth, with a note, which read:
Your father left this in my possession before he died. It is time it was returned to you. Use it well. And try not to let your great-aunt damage it in her zeal to understand how it works.
A very Merry Christmas to you.
The writing was loopy, and Harry hadn't seen it before, he was sure. He experimentally draped it around himself, and happened to look in the mirror. He very nearly screamed when he saw part of himself had become invisible. Then, an impish smirk came over his features…
Hermione, who was reading the Portal Gun instruction manual in an armchair, yelped when Harry suddenly revealed himself in front of her. "Harry, don't do that! Anyway, how did you do that?!"
"Some sort of cloaking…cloak?" Harry said.
"An Invisibility Cloak?" Hermione looked at the cloth pooled around Harry's feet. "May I see?"
Harry nodded, and handed it over. "I don't know who it's from, but they said it was my father's."
"These are expensive enough and rare enough, but they also tend to fade over time, from what I've read. If your father had it, it must be one of the best quality Invisibility Cloaks," Hermione said, looking at the silvery material. "And it only goes invisible if someone is wearing it. Makes sense, I suppose. What's the point of an Invisibility Cloak if it's invisible when you're not wearing it? You'd never be able to find it otherwise." She nodded at her book and paper. "By the way, thanks for the presents."
"Thank you for yours. I had a quick flick through that book. I think I'll be interested in it. Did your parents get it for you?"
"Yes. I have a copy of it myself, bought it just before I came to Hogwarts, but I thought you'd like it. You can send some parcels by owl post. By the way, what did GLaDOS send you?"
"A holo-projector, and a request for Professor Dumbledore. He agreed to it, because he thought it'd be amusing. She says that I'll be getting my present later. I think Dumbledore may be in on it: his eyes seemed to be twinkling more than usual, though Snape was a bit sour. Well, more than usual. By the way, how does it feel to have a signed paper from Gordon Freeman?"
"Great!" She hugged Harry. "Thanks, Harry! You know, I'm glad we're both in Ravenclaw. Okay, you're a bit weird, and your great-aunt is an A.I, but you know, you're the best friend I've had for a long time."
"Haven't you had many?"
"Not for a while. I…might have been bossy with too many of them. And those who did want to be with me…well, they were more interested in picking my brains or copying my homework. The few friends I had, I lost touch with when I changed schools. But here, I have you, Cho, Marietta, and I guess Ron and Neville. Plus, you may be a little crazy, but it's an interesting kind of crazy."
"Umm, thanks, I guess?"
Freeman scowled slightly. He had asked the mute chick to give him a kiss under the mistletoe, but she had blown him off. Rejected by a mute babe. Then again, at least she didn't slap him or tase him. So there was that.
So he had gone to find the nearest bar (Aperture had its own bar, albeit far away from any of the labs), when he encountered the crazy computer babe in her gynoid body. "I noticed that you managed to fail to engage in any kind of intimate activity with Chell."
"How did you…?"
"Security camera. I am linked to all of those in facility. And yes, I know where your oxycodone stash is. I am taking a break from marshalling the festive entertainment we are going to be giving Hogwarts. As I am CEO, Human Resources Manager and Chief Research Supervisor of Aperture Science, I make it my mission to make sure my employees are as healthy as possible."
"GLaDOS, I dunno whether you've noticed, but you're not doing a great job of that. Rattmann's a paranoid schizophrenic, Chell's a mute, and you…well, you're an admitted mad scientist in the form of a freaking gynoid! Cave Johnson had delusions of grandeur, not to mention delusions of scientific ability, and that was long before he suffered from silicosis from lunar regolith!"
"And you are the paragon of mental and/or physical health, Doctor Freeman?" GLaDOS asked, raising an eyebrow. "You are a prescription drugs addict with unhealthy levels of paranoia, delusions of grandeur, anger management issues, and narcissism. As it is, you fit in very well here."
Freeman was about to protest against her unfairly accurate assessment, when he saw she was holding something in her left hand. "Why are you holding a sprig of mistletoe?"
"I intend to feed you the berries one by one and note down what happens as you succumb to viscumin poisoning(2). [SARCASTIC LIE SUBROUTINE TEST COMPLETED] What did you think I was intending?"
"…You want to kiss me?"
"Good to see that the PhD from MIT didn't go to waste," GLaDOS observed drily.
"…Why?"
"Boredom. Curiosity. And the fact that I miss the pleasures of the flesh. Believe me, you wouldn't believe the amount of time I spent upgrading this body so that intimate relations were possible. Then again, as Caroline, I didn't really get much in the way of physical intimacy. Even Cave Johnson only loved me platonically, and he warned other people away from me, saying I was married to Science. In a way, that was true. I was so busy and focused, I simply didn't engage in that, and when Harry came along, I just looked after him like any great-aunt should. Anyway, I want to do a test by kissing. I thought the occasion appropriate. Yuletide. Mistletoe. A moderately sane and intelligent person who finds me moderately attractive."
The internal debate Gordon engaged with was brief. On the one hand, he was being offered a kiss by a crazy computer. On the other hand, he was being offered a kiss by a hot robot babe. The 'hot robot babe' argument won out, and he said, with a faux-resigned air that barely concealed his enthusiasm, "Okay, let's give it a whirl."
Seconds later, he was bending over, spitting out the contents of his mouth, while GLaDOS muttered, "Note to self: find oral lubricant that isn't mildly poisonous and bitter-tasting…"
At Hogwarts, the Christmas Feast was underway. Harry and Hermione had spent the afternoon in a snowball fight against Ron, the twins, and Neville, with Neville fighting with Harry and Hermione against the Weasleys. Ron had noticed that his rat had gone AWOL, but didn't think much of it. Now, they were enjoying the meal, though Harry was quite bemused at how Dumbledore seemed to be enjoying wearing a flowery bonnet he got from a wizarding Christmas cracker.
The Heads of the Houses seem to have taken to his gifts, each of them displaying the holographic badges on their robes, even Snape. Flitwick had taken Harry aside earlier that day, and asked how the holograms were made. Harry only knew in general terms, but the diminutive man was fascinated nonetheless. Even Draco briefly approached Harry, and thanked him, albeit rather curtly, for the present. Whether it led to any kind of truce remained to be seen.
It was shortly after the pudding, though, that GLaDOS' gift was made apparent. A hologram of the gynoid form of GLaDOS was projected from the holoprojector, with the Turret Choir at the ready.
"Ahem, if I may have your attention, please?" Dumbledore asked. "Miss Gladys Johnson of Aperture Science has asked to provide some singing from her choir. May I present to you, all the way from the United States of America, Miss Gladys Johnson and her Choir."
"Thank you, Professor Dumbledore," GLaDOS' lilting tone came from the holoprojector. She was dressed in a rather elegant dress, rather than her habitual form-fitting bodysuit.
GLaDOS had quite the singing voice, actually. And so too did the Turret Choir. They made their way through Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell Rock, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Deck the Halls, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. And then, they did one last song. I'll Be Home For Christmas.
As the last chords of the song faded away, the door to the Great Hall opened, and a robed, hooded figure stepped through. GLaDOS then said, "This message is to my great-nephew, Harry Evans. Merry Christmas. Here is your present. I hope you enjoy it."
Snape groaned as the hooded and robed figure took off the hood, revealing a man with black hair and grey eyes. He looked pale, and wan, and like he had been through hell. Dumbledore stood, and announced to the Great Hall, "Recently, it has come to light that someone who was supposed to be one of our greatest heroes was thought to be one of its greatest villains on shaky evidence. Thanks to the efforts of Miss Johnson, he has been exonerated. It is my very great pleasure to introduce you to Mr Sirius Black, once thought to be the man who betrayed the Potters, now proven innocent."
Harry gaped at the man who was his godfather. He couldn't say this was the best Christmas present ever (it would be hard to compete with that time GLaDOS let him design his own test chamber and play in it), but it was pretty damned close. He got up from his seat, and ran towards Sirius, and hugged him. Sirius chuckled, a little weakly, and there was even some applause at the reunion.
It wasn't the best Christmas ever…but it was one of the very best Harry had ever had. That was without doubt…
CHAPTER 9 ANNOTATIONS:
So, Sirius is free, Harry has the Invisibility Cloak, and Freeman and GLaDOS' budding romance hits a stumbling block.
I put in a brief hint, but Pettigrew's in custody, and we'll discuss more about how Sirius was freed in the next chapter. Anyway, this chapter is amongst the Christmas update, and it's the only one with a Christmas theme. Hope you enjoy.
Review-answering time! Uchiha Rai: I'm glad you enjoyed Freeman's Mind. It's hilarious, isn't it?
TehUnoman: Buggered if I know. A shame, really.
1. This is a real book, published in 2001 (the year in which this chapter is set), and it's a bloody good read. It's one of my personal favourite science books.
2. Viscumin is the toxin in European mistletoe, and is chemically related to ricin.