"You ready to go?" Brittany jumps onto the mattress.
"No," I cover my eyes with the blankets.
"Is there anything I can do to make you ready?" She asks, leaning over my face.
"Yeah," I pull her down into me, "stop being so hyper."
"But I'm excited," she nuzzles into my neck.
"I'm excited too," I finally admit, the smile stretching across my face.
"You're not scared?" She asks timidly. "Because if you don't want to do this I totally understand."
"No, I promised you I would." I grab Brittany's face in my hands and rest our foreheads together. "But you have to promise me that you won't let me die okay?"
"If I let you die, I'll pay you ten dollars."
"Ten dollars? Is that all I'm worth to you?"
"But I only have ten dollars in cash," she puffs her lower lip out. "I can go empty my account for you and I'll be broke, but it's okay because I'll still have you, right?"
"Of course," I give her a peck on the lips. "But not if you kill me."
/
I feel like a baby giraffe when it first learns to walk. I seriously have no control over my legs. Brittany grabs hold of my hand as she leads me out to the rink.
"Britt, where are you going?" I ask, reaching for her.
"Relax, I'm right here, okay?" I grab her elbow with a death grip as I slide forward onto the ice.
Brittany wanted to take me ice skating, so here we are.
Brittany starts to move forward again, but I don't follow her. "Why am I not moving?" I cry, my legs wobbling as I try to hold onto her.
"You have to keep your feet parallel," Brittany laughs.
"Oh right," I look down to my feet and slowly move them so they are straight. "Whoa," I jerk forward as Brittany pulls me. "Why is this so easy for you?" I watch her feet as she glides backwards.
"I'm a dancer," she shrugs. "And I used to ice skate all the time. My dad always took me when I was younger."
Brittany keeps pulling along, slowly, as I try to get the hand of moving on ice.
"I don't know how to turn!" I yell when Brittany starts moving in a different direction.
"Just lean with your body. We'll go slow."
I make it through the turn a little less gracefully than I had hoped.
When Brittany first suggested that we go ice skating this was precisely the reason I didn't want to go, but she convinced me that it wouldn't be that difficult. Now I know she is a liar.
It probably takes us twenty minutes to make it around the rink one time.
"Can we take a breather for just a minute?" I ask, grasping the wall to pull myself toward the door on the side.
"Sure," she smiles. "You want some hot chocolate?"
"Mmm, yes please," I am so thankful when I step back on solid ground. If no one was looking, I would bend over and kiss the earth. "I'll go find a bench," I look around, there are a few off to the side, so I start waddling toward those.
"Here." Brittany comes back moments later carrying two cups of hot chocolate.
"Thanks," I smile up at her. She takes a seat across from me, both of us facing each other with our legs straddling the bench. "So, what's on the agenda for our Christmas trip?" I bring the cup to my lips and take a huge gulp, not thinking about how hot it would be. "Fuck!"
"Careful," Brittany reaches forward with her hand, brushing her thumb along my lower lip and catching the few drops that spilled out of my mouth. "Um..." She glances down to my lips, then back up to my face. "We decorate. We play Christmas charades. We visit my grandparents. And I Christmas shop because I always wait til the last minute."
So, Brittany is a procrasta-santa too.
"Sounds good. I think my family just does Christmas Day, is that okay?"
"Of course."
"I would like to apologize in advance for my family. They can get obnoxious," I cringe just thinking about it.
"I'm sure I'll be fine," Brittany laughs. "Aren't all families obnoxious though?"
"Yours isn't." I tilt my cup back, draining the last drop into my mouth. "Where do your grandparents live?"
"Oh, well they live like two hours away from us, so we kind of meet in the middle at our cabin."
"You guys have a cabin? Is it in the woods?"
"Mhmm," Brittany answers. "It's awesome in the summer. It's right by a lake."
Off to our side, a kid falls off of the bench, causing me and Brittany to bust up laughing. We get a nasty look from the kid's mother, but when someone falls, it's funny. Brittany pats my leg before standing up and extending a hand out to me.
"You ready to go back out there?"
My feet start to hurt just thinking about it.
"Yeah," I mumble and stand up.
It's a little bit easier this time around, I think I'm finally getting the hang of it. I don't have to hold on to Brittany like I am about to jump out of an airplane.
"Look at you go," Brittany exclaims. "I'm gonna let go now," she starts sliding her hand out of mine. I panic and grab it tighter.
"No! No. Don't let go."
"Okay," she pulls me closer so I am basically hugging her. "I won't let go," she whispers into my ear.
/
"Will you help me pack?" Brittany asks on the way back to her place.
"You're not packed yet?"
"No," she looks to the ground, scuffing her boots across the sidewalk.
"But we leave in a day," I tell her.
"Yeah, I have issues with packing."
"Yes, I will help you pack," I lean up to peck her cheek, well the little that's showing. Brittany has a scarf wrapped around her face and she is wearing a beanie, so most of it is covered.
As we are approaching Brittany's apartment, I see a figure sitting on the steps.
I squint my eyes to see who it is, but I don't recognize them. Brittany must though because she stops walking and just stares forward.
"Amy?" She calls out, her voice high and questioning.
The woman on the steps looks up toward us, shivering in the cold and pulling her coat closer to her body.
"Britt," she breathes out, standing up off the steps to greet us.
Brittany takes a tentative step backwards at her movement. I look up to see that Brittany's eyebrows are furrowed together and she has a hard look on her face. "What are you doing here?" Brittany says sharply. "How did you even know I lived here?"
"I talked to Mike. He told me," Amy says carefully. "I wanted to see you-"
"Why are you here?" Brittany states more firmly.
"I just wanted to talk to you," she starts moving forward, but Brittany takes another step back. "You knew I was in town, I texted you."
"You should leave," I step forward so I am between Brittany and Amy.
"And who are you?" She looks me up and down, her voice changing from soft and airy, to hard and demanding.
"Who am I? Who the fuck are you? Just showing up at someone's apartment unannounced after you cheated on them," Brittany grabs my arm as I take a step closer to Amy.
"San, don't," Brittany warns me.
I let out a huff of air and take a step back toward Brittany's side. I grab Brittany's hand, purposefully rubbing it in her face.
It works because I see Amy eye our hands, and her whole body deflates.
"I'll leave you alone," she swallows thickly, walking past Brittany and brushing into her shoulder lightly. "I just wanted to apologize. I'm not here to start anything." She looks to me when she says this.
Brittany doesn't speak, she just gives a weak nod, but I can see the tears welling up behind her eyes.
After Amy leaves, Brittany drops my hand and begins walking back to the apartment.
She doesn't even wait for me like she normally does when we get to the door. She just pulls it open and it falls shut just before I reach it.
"Britt," I call out as she rounds the corner to the stair case, but she doesn't answer me. Brittany is a lot faster than me, so she makes it to her apartment a good minute before I do.
I enter the apartment out of breath and frantically searching for Brittany. Rachel comes from the hallway looking just about as confused as I feel.
"Where is she?" I pant out.
"Santana, what did you do?" Rachel asks me.
"I didn't do anything," I tell her.
Rachel narrows her eyes at me, but then her features soften and she points behind her.
"She's in the bathroom."
I quickly brush past Rachel and make my way toward the bathroom. I carefully lean my head against the door, pressing my ear against it to see if I can hear Brittany. I faintly hear a sniffle, so I try to twist the knob, but it's locked.
"Britt?" I lightly knock on the door.
"I'll be out in a minute," she says through another sniffle, her voice strained.
"I'll be in your room," I say gently though the door. I give her a few seconds to answer and when she doesn't, I lower my head to my chest and make my way into her bedroom.
I sit on the edge of the bed, wringing my hands together as I wait for Brittany to come out.
Brittany opens the door, offering me a small smile, which I know is forced because her eyes are still puffy from crying, but I do my best to accept it and give her a small smile as well. She walks to the other side of the bed to lay down, facing away from me and curls into herself.
I try to think of something to say, but nothing really seems appropriate. If Brittany wanted to talk to me about what happened, she would. So, instead I just lay behind her, feeling that is the only comfort I can really offer right now, and wrap my arms around her body.
Brittany grabs hold of my hand that is resting on her stomach and laces our fingers together, which eases some of the tension inside of me.
We stay like that for what feels like an eternity, until Brittany's shoulders have stopped shaking and her breathing has evened out. In any normal circumstance, I probably would have fallen asleep. It feels like we have been laying here for at least an hour, but I can't. She may not want to talk about it, but I sure as hell am not going to leave her awake by herself when she is this upset.
I place a kiss to Brittany's exposed shoulder, she stirs a little in front of me, but otherwise doesn't move. She finally turns around in the circle of my arms and hides her face in my chest, pulling me into her and holding on tight.
I hear her sniffle again. I start rubbing her back, hoping that it will calm her down. It seems to work.
Brittany pulls back to look at me, her eyes red and puffy from crying. I smooth my thumbs over her cheek and under her eyes to try and wipe away the tear tracks. I lean in and kiss the tip of her nose. A tiny smile forms on her lips.
Brittany's smile fades almost as soon as it appears. She stares down at me, her eyes darting back and forth between mine. My brows furrow together as I try to take in her expression.
Brittany leans her forehead against mine for a moment, pressing her eyelids shut and worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. My hands grip the sides of her hipbones, trying to convey through touch that I will be whatever she needs right now.
Brittany has never explained to me exactly what happened between her and Amy. I just know that they were together for a long time and Amy really hurt her. Seeing her again must have brought back some of those feelings.
Brittany reaches down with one of her own hands, finding mine and lacing our fingers together. My heart is hammering inside my chest, feeling enraged at Amy for hurting Brittany and then having the audacity to show up here unannounced. Well, apparently Brittany knew she was in town, but that's another issue entirely.
The next thing I know, Brittany is kissing me, hard, her nose smashing against mine and tongue pushing past my lips. I let out a surprised gasp as she aggressively palms my breast with the hand that's not holding my own. My fingers squeeze harder at her hips as Brittany begins to grind down into me.
I push my thigh up into her on reflex, causing her to take in a sharp breath. Brittany stops kissing me, pulling her head back enough to look me in the eye. Her eyes are still glossy from crying and her cheeks tinged red. Soon enough, both of us are moving together, still fully clothed and gasping into each others mouth.
Needing to touch Brittany, I push my hand between her body and mine so I can cup her over her jeans. Brittany lets out an appreciative groan at the sensation, resting her forehead against mine once more. She quickly undoes the button on her jeans and unzips them before grabbing hold of my hand and to guide it where she needs me.
My fingers start rubbing against her immediately, but she stops my motions and pushes my hand down lower. I feel her wetness and my jaw slacken as she places my hand right above her entrance. She applies a little pressure, letting me know this is where she wants me, her eyes finding mine though hooded lids.
I gently slide a finger inside of her, marveling at the warmth and tightness. Brittany's eyes fall closed and her mouth hangs open as I enter her body. The angle is a little awkward and her jeans are restricting my movements, but I manage to start sliding my finger in and out of her, watching with adoration as I see the effects flash across her face.
The room is filled with heavy breathing as Brittany starts to rock against my hand again. I add a second finger to the mix when I can see the desperation for a release in her eyes.
The heel of my hand presses against her clit, trying to make that release happen for her. Brittany's walls start tightening around my fingers as her brows furrowing together as she grins down harder and harder. I curl my fingers inside of her, earning a surprised squeak from above, so I do it again and again until Brittany is panting into the air. I push my fingers further into her, moving harder and faster than before until she falls forward, burying her face in my shoulder as she comes. Brittany's body writhers above me and I keep moving my fingers, slowly bringing her down, until the very last tremor rolls through her body and she lets out a content sigh.
I remove my fingers from her, causing one last shock to pass over her. I wipe my hand on the covers before bringing it up to smooth the hair away from Brittany's face. Her body curls into me and she places a lingering kiss to my collar bone where her head is laying.
She clings tight to my body, wrapping her arms around me and keeping me close to her.
/
It's been almost two days since Brittany had a run in with her ex-girlfriend and to say things have been a little off between us would be an understatement. Sure, we had sex the other night, but she has been acting different around me ever since.
I want to talk to her about it, but I don't exactly know how to broach the subject.
The car ride thus far has been filled with uncomfortable silence. Rachel and Quinn have been asleep for the past hour. After the initial excitement of the road trip wore off, they just passed out. Brittany is sitting in the front seat next to me with her knees pulled up to her chest as she stares out the window. I sigh to myself, the music muting it so Brittany doesn't hear, and grip the steering wheel a little tighter.
About twenty minutes later, Rachel pops her head up from the back and informs everyone that she needs to relieve herself. When we reach the nearest rest stop, Quinn and Rachel are the first to exit. I make a move to open my door, but am stopped when Brittany sets her hand on my shoulder.
I turn to her slowly, my eyebrows furrowing together. She worries her lip between her teeth before leaning forward and pulling me into a kiss. Her hands grasp the sides of my face as I let out a sigh of relief at feeling her against me. Our mouths work together slowly, until she is pulling back. Brittany's eyes flicker open and she stares back into mine, biting on her lower lip again only this time, it's not in a nervous way. Her thumb caresses my cheek as the sides of her mouth turn up, causing a smile to spread across my face as well.
I open my mouth to say something, but Brittany has already jumped out of the car and is heading toward the bathrooms. I step out too, not needing to use the restroom because it's only been an hour and a half since our last stop, but I do need to stretch out.
The air outside is refreshing, cold, but refreshing. I take a few deep breaths and lean against the side of my car.
Quinn is the first one to reemerge, coming to stand next to me.
"Is something going on with you and Brittany?" She asks, I can feel her gaze on the side of my face, but I keep my eyes trained forward.
"We're fine," I breathe out, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my sweatshirt.
"Really?" She questions, turning her whole body to face me. "You guys haven't spoken one word to each other since we left."
I pinch my eyes shut, not wanting to be reminded of that fact, and take another deep breath, finally turning to face Quinn. "We- her ex kind of showed up the other day," I admit. Quinn's eyebrows furrow together, obviously not understanding why that would cause us a problem. "And Britt has been acting weird," I shrug.
"What do you mean weird?"
"Like," I start, but I don't really know how to explain it. "She's- I don't know, different? Not a bad different, just different," I sigh, getting frustrated at my explanation. Maybe it's just the fact that these past few days have been pretty hectic and we haven't had the opportunity to talk.
"Is it the one that-"
"Cheated on her, yeah." I finish Quinn's question. I hear a twig snap on the ground, breaking Quinn and I away from our conversation to see Brittany and Rachel walking toward us. Rachel looks from Brittany to me and smiles to herself.
Quinn looks up to me too, with a light smile on her face as well, like they know something that I don't. She grabs the keys from my hands. "You look exhausted. I'll drive for a while." I don't even have time to protest before Quinn is climbing into the driver's seat and calling for Rachel to sit in the front with her.
Brittany is already in the back seat, her hands nervously fidgeting in her lap as I slide in next to her.
"Hey," she greets me, her voice small and timid. I look over to her, she gives me a half smile, slightly ducking her head to her chest.
It's the first time I've heard her voice since we left and, god, it sounds so good.
Brittany opens her arms up, inviting me to curl up next to her. I gladly accept, laying my head down on her shoulder.
/
We just dropped Quinn and Rachel off at their houses and are heading to Brittany's.
As soon as we step through the front door, Brittany is being wrapped up in hugs from her parents and brother. I awkwardly stand off to the side, with a small smile playing at my lips as the family reacquaints themselves.
"Santana," Sam opens his arms, slowly stepping toward me.
I back up a little, but don't get very far before I hit the wall behind me with nowhere to go. I don't have time to move before Sam is giving me a bone crushing hug, lifting me off the ground.
"Sam, leave the poor girl alone," Lisa scolds, slapping Sam on the back of the head.
"I was just being nice," he tries to defend himself.
"Well, be nice and help these young ladies with their bags."
Sam lets out a huff, but goes to grab our bags and carries them up the stairs. Lisa turns to me with a smile on her face, "How are you sweetie?" She steps forward, wrapping me up in a, much gentler, hug.
She looks so different now that she's not in a hospital bed. Her eyes are brighter and she just looks so much healthier.
"I'm doing good," I answer as she steps back. Brittany slides over to her mother, throwing her arms around her neck.
"You girls going to help decorate tomorrow?" She address Brittany. Brittany nervously looks toward me, I just shrug my shoulders at her.
"Of course," Brittany beams.
"Oh good, you're sister isn't coming till later and I didn't want to be stuck working with Sam and your father all day," she scrunches up her face. "Now the house will look decent."
/
"You guys decorate the house together?" I ask as I fall onto Brittany's mattress.
Brittany crawls over me and plops down by my side. "Yep!" She says happily.
I turn my head to look at Brittany, her face is beaming. "What's got you so happy?" I turn to lay on my side, running my fingers across her stomach.
Her mood completely shifted the second half of our drive, she was back to her normal self.
Brittany twists her lips for a few moments before turning her head to look at me. "Having you here," she rolls her eyes at herself. "I'm really glad you're here."
"Me too."
I stare up at Brittany's ceiling, thinking about how much things have changed since the last time I was here. It wasn't even that long ago, yet it feels like a lifetime. I guess it's because I feel like a completely different person.
"What are you thinking about," Brittany asks from next to me.
I turn my head slightly to peer at her. She has her hands folded across her lap and her eyes closed.
"How did you know I was thinking?"
Brittany opens her eyes to look at me. "Because you were doing the thing with your hands," she says simply.
"What thing?" I lean up on my elbows.
"When you get nervous, you twist your hands together a lot."
"I'm not nervous," I tell her.
"You're not nervous about meeting my family? Well, my mom's side? All those people?" She asks, inching closer and closer. My eyes go wide as I start to think about all the people that I have to meet in a few days. "Aww, babe. I was just kidding," she grabs my face and pulls me into a kiss. "Everyone will love you," she assures me through a series of pecks. "Just like-"
The door to Brittany's room swings open and Sam is standing there with a creepy smirk on his face. Brittany immediately throws a pillow at him when she sees who it is.
"I just came to tell this lovely lady good night." He smiles at me and throws a wink in my direction before exiting the room.
"It's not even dark out," Brittany gets off the bed. "You could have closed the door," she yells down the hallway. "Sorry," she mumbles to me.
I just wave it off and watch Brittany saunter around her room. She grabs some more comfortable clothes from her closet, holding some out for me to take too.
As I am pulling my shirt over my head, I feel her arms snake around my waist and then I feel her breath hitting my ear.
"You are so sexy," she nips at my ear lobe before placing a kiss to my neck.
My body freezes with the shirt half way over my head. I make a move to pull it further over my head, but her hands come up and stop the motion. I turn a little in her arms to give her a questioning look. She just laces her fingers with mine.
"Let me," she slowly drags the shirt down my shoulders, brushing past the sides of my breasts, which causes me to shiver.
When she finishes, she wraps her arms around me and holds me close to her, our fingers laced together across my stomach. My eyes are falling shut, the warmth of Brittany and the exhaustion from driving all day is setting in. My head falls back to rest on Brittany's shoulder.
"You're not tired are you?" Brittany giggles into my ear.
"Of course not," I let out through a yawn.
"Dinner is almost ready," she informs me, moving us both back to the bed, "but if you want to sleep for a while..." Her voice trails off and before I know it I am tucked under the blankets with Brittany close behind me.
"Hey Britt?" I speak. She hums out a response from behind me. "We're okay, right?" I ask her, remembering the few days of very little communication that transpired between us.
"Why wouldn't we be?" she asks, kissing the back of my neck. When I don't answer right away, she lets out a sigh. "Is this about the other day?"
"Yeah," I mumble and turn to face her.
"I'm sorry," she leans forward to place a kiss to my forehead.
I've been wanting to ask Brittany this question for a while now, but it doesn't really seem appropriate.
"What?" she asks me, as though she just read my mind.
I chew on my bottom lip, trying to decide if I even want to know the answer.
"Do you- still have feelings for her?" I say in a tiny voice.
"No," she answers immediately. "I guess I reacted that way because I haven't seen her in so long. I don't know. It just hurt. It still hurts sometimes, but I don't have feelings for her that aren't hatred."
"I'm sorry she did that to you," I mumble.
"Do you believe in fate, Santana?" she asks.
"I dunno. I've never really thought about it."
"Well, I do."
/
It feels like one minute later when someone is knocking on the door saying that it's time to eat dinner.
I reluctantly peel my eyes open, immediately wanting to shut them again. My whole body is buzzing from the lack of sleep the night before and all the driving today, even if Quinn did take over for a few hours.
Brittany tightens her arms around me, pulling me against her body and pressing her nose into my back.
"I wanna sleep," she groans, "but I'm so hungry."
I turn around to face her, her arms still wrapped around me. I brush a few strands of hair away from her face, smoothing my thumbs across her cheek bones. Her eyes fall shut at the sensation and my eyes fall shut because I am so damn tired.
/
When we finally make it to the dinner table, after falling back asleep for a few minutes, everyone is sitting and ready to eat.
"Finally!" Sam calls from his spot.
Brittany sticks her tongue out at him, and takes her seat across from him. She pulls the chair next to her out a bit, smiling up at me and motioning for me to sit down.
"Sorry," Brittany addresses her mother. "We kinda fell asleep again."
"No worries," he mother smiles brightly.
Everyone digs into their food. Apparently everyone is starving tonight. I just sit back silently and listen to all the different conversations going on around me. There is never a dull moment in the Pierce household, it seems.
There is, however, an awkward moment where the whole room goes quiet. I look up from my plate to see Lisa and Greg exchanging weird looks.
"Okay ladies," Greg starts, setting down his fork. "We have to ask…" I nervously look around the table, to find all eyes on me. "Are you two…?" he lets the question linger in the air.
"Ugh. Dating. Are you two dating?" Sam finishes.
My mouth drops open.
"Samuel!" his dad scolds.
"What? It's what you were going to ask!"
"Uh-" I draw out, wanting Brittany to take the reins on this. She grabs my hand underneath the table and gives everyone a nod.
Brittany's mom excitedly claps her hands together. My cheeks are heating up at the unwanted attention on my love life.
"So, Santana," Sam addresses me, "I'll have you know, I am trained in martial arts." He puts his hands up in offense. "So don't try anything silly with my baby sister," he points at me.
"Uh-"
"Excuse you," Brittany cuts in. "I am older than you."
I smile nervously from my place at the table and give Sam a short nod.
The rest of the night, he gives me threatening glares, but each time Brittany's mom notices, she slaps him on the head, so I guess its okay.
/
The next morning I wake up to the sound of hammering. I'm not really sure where its coming from, just that it's incredibly loud. I grab the pillow and throw it over my head in an attempt to dull the noise. It seems to work, but then I hear the bedroom door open and shut.
I peek over to the side of the bed where Brittany is supposed to be, but I find it empty. Not for long though because Brittany is crawling back into bed, holding out a cup of what I assume is coffee, for me to take.
I stretch out my body, before sitting up on the mattress to take the cup from her.
Brittany leans in to give me a quick kiss on the lips.
"Morning," she hums.
"Mmm, morning." I mumble back, reaching behind me with my free hand to rub my lower back.
"Is your back bothering you again?" She asks softly.
"Kind of, but it's just because I sat on my ass all day yesterday."
"You know, we could have helped you drive. Taken shifts," she tells me.
"You and Quinn can, Rachel isn't allowed," I tell her. "Not since the accident." Brittany looks at me with wide eyes. "I'm kidding," I laugh, almost causing some coffee to spill out. "She doesn't know how to drive."
"Really," I nod my head as I take a sip. "That poor, poor soul. I got my license as soon as I could."
"Oh, me too," I agree with Brittany. "It was the first step toward freedom."
I always hated having to ask my parents to take me place because they never would, so when I got my license, I went anywhere and everywhere.
"So, is your entire family going to be at the cabin the whole time?" I ask.
"Um, no. They just stay one night."
"Mmm," I hum out, still not really awake yet. "When do we have to be out there?" I ask when I hear the hammer going again.
"Whenever we want," Brittany shrugs.
I cast my gaze toward Brittany and see her foot bouncing at the end of the bed like she is just itching to get out there.
"Go ahead," I roll my eyes playfully. "I'll be out in like half an hour," I tell her.
Brittany's smile beams across her face as she peppers my face with kisses before finally stopping at my lips. She takes her time there as she takes my lower lip between hers.
"Mmm, take your time babe." She mumbles into my mouth. I think Brittany has gathered just how important my coffee time is to me. "But not too much time. Don't want you to miss the fun stuff."
/
After putting on all my winter gear, I finally make it outside. Brittany and Sam are in the yard setting something up while Lisa and Greg are hanging the lights over the garage.
Brittany spots me right away and waves me over.
"Whoa," Sam calls, "it's not that cold," he exclaims.
Okay, so maybe I went a little overboard with two pairs of sweatpants and like five shirts, but what can I say?
"She hates the cold," Brittany slaps his arm.
Brittany shows me what to do to set everything up, which is mostly just dragging reindeer across the lawn so they can put it where it needs to be. It's totally fine with me. They have been doing it longer anyway.
Every time I bring another reindeer, Brittany smiles at me and kisses me on the nose.
Sam makes a gagging noise. "I can't wait till Jennifer gets here. I feel like a third wheel."
"You are more than welcome to go help mom and dad on the roof," Brittany motions toward her parents.
"No, I gotta get going soon anyway."
Brittany's face turns down a little. "Why," she asks.
"Work," Sam shrugs.
After Sam leaves, Brittany and I make our way to the porch to hang up some lights. I leave the actual decorating to Brittany again while I just untangle them for her.
I have been working on this strand of lights for at least ten minutes now and I'm starting to get a little frustrated. I grumble as I try repeatedly to get the knots out, but fail again. Brittany laughs at me from her place on the chair she is using as leverage.
I look up at her with an annoyed expression, which only causes her to laugh more. "Are you laughing at me?"
"I'm sorry," she hops off the chair and comes to sit by me, "you just look so adorable in your big coat and hat," she pinches my cheeks. I let out another annoyed huff, the cold causing my grumpy side to show. "Here. Let me," Brittany grabs the string of lights and begins working on it.
Within a few minutes she has it untangled.
I give her a perplexed look. Brittany smiles at me and wiggles her fingers. "Magic," she says and then winks at me.
Yeah, her fingers are pretty magic.
"Look who it is," I hear Brittany's dad call from the roof. In the next instant, Brittany is taking off toward the car that just pulled into the driveway.
I get up from my spot on the steep to see two blondes in the driveway hugging. It must be Brittany's sister. Brittany pulls away from the hug and bounces in her spot. Before I know it, both of them are standing right in front of me.
It's so weird seeing the two of them together, they look so much alike. Brittany is taller and her hair is longer.
"This is Santana," Brittany motions to me. "Santana this is Jennifer."
"Santana," she repeats, holding out her hand. "Nice to finally put a face to the name," she sends me a wink. "Have you guys drank the cider yet?"
"Nope, but the whole house smells like it."
"Yes," she pumps her fist, just like Brittany does when she is excited. "I'm gonna go put my stuff in my room," she looks down at her bags.
"Do you need help?" Brittany asks her.
"No, it's just these two."
I watch Brittany watch her sister run off into the house.
"What," Brittany asks when she notices me smiling at her.
"You guys are exactly the same."
"You're not going to dump me and date my sister are you?" she walks up to me.
My mouth falls open. "Hell no," I tell her. "You are irreplaceable," I lean up to give her a kiss.
Brittany sticks her tongue out at me and goes back to decorating the porch.
Just as Brittany hangs the last light, her parents' descend from the roof top.
"Looks good ladies," Brittany's dad compliments. "Hey, where did your sister go?" He looks around the yard.
"She might be stealing some cider," Brittany points into the house.
Brittany's mother gasps and runs into the house, her father trailing right behind her.
"I don't know why they're surprised," Brittany turns to me, "she does this every year." Brittany grabs my hand and starts pulling me inside the house. "Wow, your cold," she looks down at my hand.
"Yeah," I breathe, my teeth chattering a little.
/
After drinking the cider, which was absolutely delicious, Brittany's dad asked if we could go and decorate the tree house. I reluctantly agreed, not wanting to go out into the cold, but also wanting to be alone with Brittany for a while. They even got a little Christmas tree to put in there.
"So, Britt," I speak as I string some lights around the tiny tree. "I have a question."
"Yeah?"
"Sam, he-" I start, but then stop, not really knowing how to ask this. "He looks like you and Jennifer, but he doesn't look like you and Jennifer."
Brittany chuckles a little at my statement. "He's adopted," she tells me.
"Oh," I breathe.
"Yeah, I was seven when they adopted him. His parents died when he was little."
"Wow, that's rough."
Losing one parent is hard enough, I can't imagine what it would be like to lose two.
"But it never made any difference to us and I've always felt like he is my brother, because he is. He always stuck up for me. Even got suspended for beating a kid up because he called me stupid."
"So, you two are really close then?"
Brittany nods, sucking her lips into her mouth. "He was home schooled with me. He has dyslexia, so being able to do things at his own pace was something he needed. Now he's just an ass," she laughs.
"Yeah, a martial arts knowing ass," I mumble under my breath.
"Babe, you know he was just kidding about that right?" She comes up behind me and rubs up and down my arms.
"He seemed pretty serious to me," I tell her, turning around to face her.
"He's just protective. Especially after what happened with Amy," her voice lowers.
Just hearing her name makes me cringe.
"I would never hurt you like that, Britt." I look down at my fingers playing with the hem of her shirt.
"I know," she pulls me into a hug. "Me too. I would never cheat on you," she squeeze me tight.
"Seriously though, I've dated- well been with, a lot of people and none of them even come close to the way I feel about you."
Then it hits me.
I haven't felt this way about anyone else before because I've never been inlove before.
"Um," I start backing away from Brittany. "I should probably call Quinn. You know- to see how she's doing," and before Brittany can say anything, I am climbing down the latter.
I rush into Brittany's room to grab my cell phone, immediately finding Quinn's name.
"Pick up. Pick up." I chant over and over again.
"Hello?" the line finally clicks.
"Quinn!"
"Yes?"
"I'm in love," I tell her.
"I'm flattered, Santana, but don't you think Brittany will be a little jealous?"
"No, with Brittany. I'm in love with Brittany," I correct her.
"Okay?"
"So, help me!"
"Help you what?"
"What do I do?"
The line goes silent for a moment before Quinn answers.
"Okay, I have an idea, but it's totally crazy," she tells me.
"Go on."
"Tell her."
I let out a loud sigh.
"I can't," I breathe down the line.
"Why not," she sighs.
"Because."
"I believe in you Lopez," she says before the line clicks.
"Quinn?" I ask down the line. I let out a groan of frustration, pressing the phone into my forehead.
I hear a meow from inside the bedroom, which causes me to jump. I look around to find Lord Tubbington laying on top of my bag.
"Oh Tubbs," I breathe out, kneeling down in front of him. "Is this how you feel about Kitty?" he lets out another meow. "I totally get it now. Looks like we're in too deep."
As I sit there, wondering why I am talking to a cat, I get an idea. I shoo Lord Tubbington away from my bag, after thanking him for his help, of course, and pull out Brittany's gift.
/
Ever since my realization, I haven't been able to get the thought out of my mind. It was on my mind all day yesterday and the whole drive up to the cabin.
I'm in love.
I'm in love with Brittany.
I feel so many different things right now: fear, happiness, excitement. I don't even know what to do with myself. I don't even think I went to sleep last night.
My eyes were shut, but my mind just kept running and my body had this buzz running through it, wanting to tap Brittany on the shoulder and just confess everything to her in the dead of night.
That way she wouldn't be able to see my face, or the hurt that would be there if she didn't say it back.
Normally, Brittany's family stays through New Years at the cabin and I feel a little bad because I am taking her away from that.
Her family kindly agreed to celebrate the night before Christmas Eve instead of on Christmas Eve so that we could be with my family on Christmas Day.
Now, Christmas isn't something I normally get excited about, in fact I actually have come to despise the holiday over the past few years. But this year, I am excited, maybe it's because I have Brittany. Or that I am seeing my family. Or maybe it's because Brittany's Christmas spirit is rubbing off on me.
Whatever the reason, I find myself anxiously awaiting tomorrow.
I have been helping Brittany's mom with decorating some cookies. Brittany was down here helping us, but she disappeared a while ago and hasn't returned.
"I'm sorry you couldn't met the rest of the family," Lisa tells me.
"No, it's okay." I wave it off. I didn't mean to miss meeting her family, it's just the way it worked out. "If you want Brittany to stay to see everyone-"
"Are you kidding, Brittany is probably happy she doesn't have to deal with all the crazies. At least she gets to see her grandparents. They have been dying to see her since they couldn't make it on Thanksgiving."
"Thank you for letting her come with me. It really means a lot," I smile at her.
"Well, you really mean a lot to her," Lisa sets her hand on top of mine.
I have to swallow down a lump in my throat at her mother's words.
Brittany comes back into the room not a moment later, her eyes shining and face glowing. She smiles at her mom, who gives her a smirk back.
"All right ladies," she yawns, "I'm gonna hit the hay." Lisa turns to look at me. "Be prepared for the Pierce Family Christmas Extravaganza tomorrow."
"I will be."
"Night mom," Brittany gives her mother a kiss on the cheek.
"Night girls."
/
"What's all this?" I ask when we get back to our room.
Brittany shrugs her shoulders, "just a little something for the most amazing girlfriend in the world." Brittany has strung a few strands of lights across our room and it looks amazing. "Get over here," she pulls me toward her by my hand. "I just wanted to have our own little Christmas, away from everyone else."
"Is it like a sexy Christmas?" I wiggle my eye brows and start stroking Brittany's arm.
"God I love you," Brittany says through a giggle, which immediately stops as her hand comes up to cover her mouth. I can feel my own mouth hang open. "Dammit!" She swears, covering her face with both hands.
I sit there frozen in my spot, my hand now grasping at the arm I was caressing moments ago.
I wanna believe what I just heard, but it just feels so random and then she said dammit?
What does that mean? That she didn't mean to say it because she didn't mean it?
I can feel the confusion on my face, my eyebrows scrunched together.
"Santana? Are you gonna say something?" Brittany ask cautiously. "That didn't go how I planned. I was gonna make a big speech-"
Brittany's voice pulls me out of my trance, "you had a speech?" The corners of my mouth twitch up.
"Well, kind of," she looks down at her lap. She slowly lifts her gaze back to mine and I can't even begin to explain what is happening inside me.
Just- happiness.
"You don't have to say it back. I just- I want you to know what you mean to me. Everything." She breathes out. "You mean everything, and I know I've only known you for a few months, but you're just that awesome. I'm sorry- I just- I'm in love with you," she shrugs.
I still don't say anything. Nervous Brittany is so cute, plus this is payback for all the times she scared the shit out of me. Like when I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said no at first. That was a moment, even though it only lasted about thirty seconds, that I wanted to just die.
I let out a breath and slowly turn to face away from Brittany. I reach down to my bag that is sitting on the floor and pull out the box with Brittany's gift in it and I hand it to her without looking at her.
I can feel her hesitation as she takes it from me slowly.
"Santana?" She says nervously and I can feel the smile that's threatening to cross my face, so I just turn further away from her.
I hear her unwrapping the gift, but then something comes over me. "Wait," I turn back to face Brittany, placing a hand atop hers. "Before you do that, there is something I want to say." I clear my throat, taking both of her hands in mine and pulling them into my lap. "I-" I start, but nothing seems right. Nothing seems good enough. "I don't know why, but you-" I furrow my brows together, trying to find the words. "I've never- fuck!" I curse out of frustration.
I scan Brittany's face as though everything I want to say, everything I need to say, will be written there. She is looking at me expectantly and almost afraid, like she doesn't know where this conversation will end up.
But, see, the answer is written on her face because she is the answer. She is the reason for the way my heart is beating wildly in my chest right now. She is the reason I spent countless nights tossing and turning because she makes me feel so restless. She is the reason I would spend a holiday I hate with people I don't even know.
The reason, the answer, is Brittany.
I take a deep breath, a smile finally spreading across my face and look her dead in the eye.
"I love you," I breathe like it's the only truth I've ever known. Then after a beat I add, "too." Brittany's eyes gloss over with unshed tears. "You know," I scoot closer to Brittany. "I'm not an expert on love, but I don't think you are supposed to cry."
A bubble of laughter escapes her throat.
"They're happy tears," she tells me, resting her forehead against mine.
"Are you gonna open your present," I look down to the unopened gift that's now sitting on the bed. "Or do you want to wait until Christmas. I just brought it with me because I didn't know if you wanted to do it now or later."
"I think we should wait till Christmas," she tells me.
"Okay," I grab the box and put it back in my bag, "but if I catch you snooping..."
Brittany lets out a gasp, "I would never."
"So you're really gonna make me play Christmas charades tomorrow," I groan.
"Yes," Brittany grabs the sides of my face to kiss me. "It'll be fun," she tells me. "We can be on the same team," Brittany swings her leg over mine and straddles me.
"Fine," I grumble, putting on a pout.
"I love you," she sing songs, and the pout fades away.
"I love you too," I roll my eyes at her, leaning up to capture her lips in mine.
/
"Babe," I whisper on the couch where Brittany is snuggled up by my side.
Her grandparents arrived an hour ago. It was an intense sixty minutes for me. Brittany's grandma is small, but she has some fire, talking a mile a minute. I barely even remember what happened.
"Hmm?"
"I don't have an ugly Christmas sweater," I tell her, trying to keep my voice down because her dad fell asleep on the chair across from us.
"You can borrow one of mine," she twists her neck to look up at me.
"But isn't that, like, cheating or something?"
Brittany lets out a laugh, "um- no."
"Can we go now? I don't want your grandma to grill me on why I wasn't prepared."
"Yeah, that was my fault. They take that competition pretty seriously. I should have told you." She gets up off the couch and extends her hand out to me.
When we get up to Brittany's room, she instantly heads to her closet. She throws a pile of sweaters onto the bed.
"Whoa," I breathe, "that's quite a selection you've got going."
"I take this competition very seriously too," she quirks an eyebrow at me. "But I'll let you have first pick."
I rifle through all the different selection that she has laid out, trying to find the most ugly, but most decent one in the bunch. No luck so far.
"Is this a Christmas tiger?" I hold one up with a tiger in a Santa hat.
"My mom made me that one," she tells me. I keep staring at her, waiting for an explanation. "What?" She asks when she finally notices.
I shake my head and continue my search. They are all pretty ridiculous. I finally settle on one that looks like a bunch of different sweaters were stitched together.
And Brittany picks hers out.
When Brittany finishes pulling her shirt over her head, I slide up in front of her, wrapping my arms around her waist.
"Mrs. Pierce," I say, biting my lower lip, "you look so sexy in your moose Christmas sweater."
I lean in to attack her neck with kisses, trailing my lips wherever they lead me and reaching up her shirt to caress her soft skin. Brittany starts to giggle and is about to say something when the door to our room flies open.
"Oh God!" A voice exclaims. "Get a room," I turn to see Jennifer standing there with her hand over her eyes.
"We have one!" Brittany bites. "What do you want?" She asks as I bury my face into her out of embarrassment.
"Sam wants to play poker. He said he's bored."
Brittany nudges me away from her body, "wanna play?"
I am so embarrassed that I would probably agree to anything, so I just wordlessly nod my head. It could have been Brittany's parents, or her grandparents, so I'm thankful it was her sister.
Jennifer leaves the room and I back away from Brittany, cover my face with my hands.
"Aww," she coos. "Is Santana embarrassed?" She pokes me in the sides.
"Stop it," I say, still mortified.
"Stop what?" She peppers kisses across my face and knocking me back onto the mattress.
I try and push her away, but she keeps attacking me.
"Brittany," I warn her.
"Oh come on. Don't be embarrassed. I've seen Jenn in much worse positions that just kissing."
"Ew," I sit up, causing Brittany to roll off of me. "Let's just go play."
/
"Okay, girls," Sam says shuffling the deck of cards. "Prepare to be schooled."
"Oh we'll see, Trouty," poker is my game and lips here is about to learn that.
"Ooh," Jennifer says. "Looks like we have a dual going on here."
I purse my lips and quirk an eyebrow at Sam who is staring me down as he shuffles the deck one last time.
"Get em' babe," Brittany smirks at me. "Go all Lima Heights."
"If you two cheat," Sam points at us.
"I don't need to cheat," I narrow my eyes at him, to which he narrows his.
"Okay, enough" Jennifer says, eying the three of us. "Let's do this."
/
"Alright, lay em down," I say to Sam.
Brittany and Jennifer folded a while ago, so it's just been me and Sam. He smirks a little to himself, before laying his cards down on the table.
"Four of a kind."
He won with that hand a few games ago, but only once.
I twist my lips and furrow my brow. "Nice hand," I commend, "but not as nice as this," I say, laying my cards down. "Straight flush," I boast.
"Dammit!" Sam yells.
"Watch your language young man," Brittany's grandma walks into the kitchen and slaps him on the back of the head.
"Sorry grandma," Sam mutters, ducking his head.
"Sam, your grandfather needs your help with something in the living room. He's having trouble with the camera."
Sam lets out a huff, but leaves to go help his grandpa. Brittany's sister follows him.
"So, Santana, I hear you are quite the singer," Brittany's grandma says as she peals some potatoes.
I look over to Brittany, but she just shrugs her shoulders.
"Uh- not really," I let out a nervous laugh.
"My little Brittany would never lie to me," she turns around to look at us. I kick Brittany under the table.
"I said she used to sing grandma." She sighs.
"I used to sing too you know," she looks up to the ceiling, recalling past memories. "Got an award and everything," she snaps back into reality. "We should duet sometime."
My eyes widen at the request.
"Are you bothering Brittany's girlfriend again?" Lisa asks, giving me an apologetic smile.
"What?" Her grandmother says offended. "I would never. I'm just trying to bond, that's all."
"It's okay Mrs. Pierce," I say from the table.
"Please call me Lisa. Mrs. Pierce is her title," she points to her mother.
Brittany's grandpa enters the kitchen, carrying his camera with him.
"Okay everyone, well, Brittany and Santana, let's see if I can work this thing," he turns to Sam who is following close behind. "So I just press this here?" Sam nods his head. "Okay, get together now." Brittany moves a little closer to me. "Come on now, like you like each other," he tells us.
Brittany wraps her arm around my shoulder and pulls us together. Usually in pictures, I have to force a smile, but right now it's all natural. Brittany's family is so easy going it's ridiculous.
I really hope my family is this accepting when they find out.
"Who's ready for Christmas charades?" Brittany's dad yells after her grandpa spends about half an hour snapping photos of everyone.
/
"I got you this time, Lopez," Sam says to me when I sit next to him on the couch with Brittany at my other side. "This is my game."
"Team captains are Lisa and grandpa," Greg says. Both people hop up and stand in front of everyone. "Ladies pick first."
"Okay, I pick Brittany first," her mother smiles. Brittany hops up to join her mom. She leans in to whisper something in her ear and then smiles back at me.
"Jenny," her grandpa calls next.
"Santana," I walk up to join them.
"Told ya we would be on the same team," Brittany whispers into my ear.
With everyone with their teams, we go on opposite sides of the living room. Brittany and I were pared with her parents and her grandparents are with Sam and Jennifer.
"Do you know how to play Santana?" Greg asks me.
"I think so. Like charades but Christmas, right?"
"Right," Lisa tells me.
Turns out I don't know that many Christmas related things, so I'm kind of bringing the team down. Though have a feeling that it doesn't really matter seeing how much Brittany knows, this is her favorite holiday after all.
Even with all the knowledge Brittany has for all things Christmas, it didn't really help when I had to act things out or guess. How are you even supposed to act out Rudolph?
I'm not even really sure who won the game. It ended with both sides screaming at each other and our team yelling at Sam for a technicality. He was making sounds, which isn't necessarily talking, but still isn't allowed. I have to admit that it was fun though.
As soon as everyone settled down, things got pretty quiet.
I look around the room at all the smiles on everyone's faces and the happiness that is filling the room. It made me really miss my own family and how it used to be around this time of year before my mother passed away.
I felt my throat closing up, so I decide to go stand out on the front porch for a while. As much as I hate the cold air, I can't deny that it feels nice right now.
I look up into the night sky at all the stars that are above me and wonder if my mom is up there somewhere looking down on me right now.
"Mom," I whisper into the air, my voice trembling slightly. "If you're listening," I swallow thickly. "I just want you to know that I miss you, and I'm so sorry," a tear spills from my eye. I quickly wipe it away, folding my arms across my chest and lean against the pillar.
"San?" Brittany's voice is soft and timid from behind me.
I bring my hand up to wipe both of my eyes. "Yeah," I answer, trying to steady my voice.
"I just came to check on you. You seemed upset," she comes to stand beside me.
"Do you believe in heaven?" I ask her, looking back up into the sky.
"I don't know," she answers honestly. "Do you?"
"I want to," I tell her. "I want to believe that people don't just disappear when they die, but I don't know either."
"Well," Brittany stands behind me and wraps her arms around my body. "I don't think people just disappear when they die. We all stay with the people who loved us. We live on inside of them."
Her words bring new tears to my eyes.
"You have such a beautiful mind," I turn around to face her and lean my head against her chest. She rubs her hands up and down my arms. "Sorry I lost the game for us," I mumble.
Brittany kisses the top of my head. "It's okay," she says gently, "but we do have to do something about your lack of knowledge on Christmas movies."
I let out a light laugh and hold on tight to Brittany, my body starting to shiver from the cold.
"Let's go back inside," she says. "They are about to announce the winner for the ugliest Christmas sweater and I heard that you are a favorite."
"How do you know?" I ask her.
"Because I voted for you."
I pull back from her chest to smile at Brittany. She wraps her arm around my shoulders and guides me inside.
Thank you guys for all the kind words :)