Chapter Thirteen

"One second, almost done."

"I don't want to wear a suit." Colt wriggled and squirmed as his Auntie Kayla tried to find a suit that would fit him at such short notice. Luckily she had dressed her own boys at many different ages for various weddings, christenings and the odd formal dinner party for her husband's work, so she had plenty to choose from. "It's too tight." He tugged at the shirt collar she had buttoned all the way up to his chin. "I can't breathe."

"Yes you can, or you wouldn't be talkin', sugar." Kayla smiled at him, finishing buttoning his shirt all the way down. "You wouldn't be able to talk if you couldn't breathe."

"Why do I have to wear a suit?" He whined.

"Because, it's a funeral, sweetheart. Everyone is gonna be wearin' suits. You wonna be the only one that isn't?" She tugged her nephew closer, tucking the shirt into the pants. "I recon these will do. We'll just need to find you a belt and maybe a waist coat or somethin' to go over the top." She brushed her hand down the front of the shirt, realising it could do with an iron over too. "Alright, take them off. You can get back into your clothes now."

Colt let his Aunt undress him from the uncomfortable shirt and trousers, before he dressed himself back into his tanned shorts and blue t-shirt. He hurried down the stairs of his Aunt's house as soon as he was dressed, making his way through to the front room to find his father, but he was gone. He immediately started to panic, thinking he had been forgotten.

"Daddy! Daddy!" He hurried into the kitchen, finding it empty too. "Daddy!"

Hearing the child's desperate cries for help, Kayla quickly made her way down the stairs, guessing the boys had gone out as her husband's car was missing from the driveway. "Colt." She stepped out into the garden with him, lifting him into her arms as she saw the tears in his eyes. "It's alright. Daddy's probably just gone shoppin' for their own suits, like they said they were goin' to. C'mon, there's no need for tears." She smoothed her palm up and down his back, guessing he was lonely as Greg and his younger brother, Jackson had stayed in Las Vegas, while he was here alone with his father.

And Nick wasn't exactly the best comforting source in his current state of grief.

"C'mon, let's see if there's any of that ice cream left from last night's dessert." She carried him over to the freezer in her kitchen, grabbing for the tub of chocolate ice cream. "It's hot today, isn't it? If it's anythin' like this tomorrow, that church is gonna be sweltering in this heat. And we can't take ice cream with us then, can we?"

"No." Colt shook his head, climbing onto the stool around her counter, while she scooped out some ice cream for him. She added a few extra chocolate sprinkles to cheer him up, before she the bowl down in front of him. "Thank you." He spoke softly, wiping his tears from his cheek, so he could take his first mouthful.

"You're welcome, sugar. I'm sure Daddy will be back soon." She assured him, brushing her thumb across his cheek. She wished that her children were a little younger, so that Colt would have someone to play with, but her kids were all teenagers now. "Do you fancy takin' the dogs for a walk with me?"

"Yeah."

"We'll wait until you finish that ice cream, then we'll wrangle em up."

"Can I hold the leads?"

"You can hold one lead." Kayla nodded, not sure if he could hold all five leads for their dogs. She had two Bernese mountain dogs that were almost as old as her children now, but they could still pull quite hard on their leeches. The second largest dog she had was a Mastiff, her husband's choice in dog, but he become her recent favourite with his cuddly nature. The last two were her husband's pride and joy, two German pointers that he trained from pups for his hunting trips with his own father.

Colt quickly finished up his ice cream, pulling his sneakers on from the back door, before he took the leeches his Aunt handed him. She lived on a ranch too, so the dogs were off exploring. It wasn't quite as large as his grandparents' ranch, but he could still see long stretches of fields beyond their fences. They didn't have loads of animals like his grandparents either, but they did have lots of small pets.

He got to hold a few of the baby rabbits yesterday and there were always cats wandering around the house and the garden, but he hadn't gotten the chance to walk the dogs yet. He knew that if he begged his own parents for a pet though, they'd say that they were too messy or say that there was never anyone home to take care of them.

"Here we are, grab the brown leech. That one's Lottie's." Kayla called over the dogs, sitting the hyperactive pointer down, before she brought Colt over to her to slip the leech over her neck. "That's it, pull the loop. You got it. You can walk, Lottie. I'll take the others."

"Why'd you call her, Lottie?" Colt queried, gently stroking the dog's soft head.

"Well this one is Lucky, her brother. My husband named them. Lottie and Lucky. And the big one behind you, that's JD." She didn't think the seven year old knew what Jack Daniels was anyway, so she didn't have to explain. "It's a good thing I didn't consult him for the children's names really." She leeched up the other four dogs, letting Colt go first up the trail around their fields. "Don't pull her, give her some slack on the leech. That's it. She'll walk beside you when you walk."

"What are they called?" Colt pointed to the bigger dogs with really soft fur. He combed his fingers through the bigger ones fur, getting his hand licked a moment later.

Kayla giggled softly, before she settled the dog down in case she tried to jump up like she usually did with kids. "Her name is Dotty. We've had her the longest now. Then we got, Buddy." She motioned to the other dog that was patiently waiting for his walk. "C'mon then, let's get goin'."

"I really want a dog."

"I'm surprised Nick doesn't have one already. He loved dogs growin' up. Our old dog used to sleep in Nick's bed when he was about your age. Mama used to swear that the dog used to think Nick was one of her pups." Kayla caught up to her nephew at the gate to the next field, pulling it open for him, so he could lead Lottie inside. "Look out for poop up here. They move the cattle through here."

Colt giggled softly, letting Lottie lead him through the tall grass. It only came up to his Aunt's waist, but for him it was almost over his head. It scratched against the exposed skin that wasn't covered by his clothes, making his arms and legs itch.

Colt and Lottie led the way through the rest of the trail, bringing them in a full circle, back to the driveway of his Aunt Kayla's house. He hurried up the driveway as soon as he saw that the cars were back, anxiously waiting for his Aunt Kayla to catch up to him, so they could get inside.

"Daddy!" He called through the house, running through to the kitchen with Lottie. He jumped into his father's arms as he knelt down to his level, hugging the man tightly as if he hadn't seen him in months. "I got to walk, Lottie."

"I see." Nick immediately noticed the red scratches across his arms and legs, making him look as though he had been rolling through hay. "That's gonna hurt in the bath tonight. We're gonna head back to the hotel now, Kayla." He called out to his sister as she unharnessed the dogs in the hallway. "We meetin' here tomorrow."

"Yeah, if you come early we'll have breakfast here, get the kids dressed then head over to Mama's. The cars gonna pick us up there. She wants them to drive Dad's body to his office. Not all of them can get off work, so they can pay their respects in the car park." She explained, ditching the leeches on the side. "Then we'll head off to the church, along with anyone else who's comin'. You sure you're alright to carry the coffin? Two of Billy's boys have agreed to do it. My husband, Gwen's and Ronnie's too."

"I can do it." He assured her, having done the same for his best friend, Warrick. He wasn't sure if he could do it then, but he had all his friends around him and he felt like he owed it to Warrick for not being there in his final moments. He knew he'd never get to make his peace with his father, but he wanted to do this for him, hoping the man knew how much he loved him, despite their disagreements over the years. He grabbed his car keys off the side, waving goodbye to his sister as he carried his son out to the car.

"Lottie, c'mere girl." Kayla called out to the dog, stopping the dog from following Colt and Nick out the door. "C'mon, you're stayin' here, missy."

Nick smiled at her, giving her a wave as he pulled open the front door. "I'll see you in the mornin' then."

"Bye, Nicky. Bye, Colt." Kayla waved from the doorway, staying put until they had disappeared down the driveway.

Nick took his son back to their hotel room, making sure Colt washed his hands after his trip out with the dogs, before he let him play with some of the toys he had brought with him. He sat watching his son entertaining himself with his toy trucks for a few minutes, before his emotions got the better of him again.

Colt pushed himself to his feet from the floor, climbing into his father's arms. He closed his eyes as the man hugged him tightly, wishing that his Papa was here, because he always knew just what to say to cheer his Daddy up.

"Ooh, I know, it was a nasty bump." Jean softly soothed her grandson on her lap, while her son tried to wash his forehead around the bump to see if there was a cut. "Why's he riding a bike anyway? He's far too young."

"Don't start, Mom." Greg pecked a kiss to his son's cheek, satisfied that there was no blood. He had stumbled over his own bike on their lawn, so he wasn't too worried about any further injuries as he had taken tumbles much worse than that in the past. Both Jackson and Colt had a record number of head bumps, elbow grazes and scraped knees over the years, but neither one of them had actually broken anything, yet.

"How long has he had that cough?" His mother queried, getting a eye roll in response. "I was only asking."

"No you weren't, you're just trying to catch me out on anything, so you can prove that I'm a bad parent and I still need you. But I don't." He assured her, lifting Jackson from her arms. "If you want to do something useful, you can go and run the bath for Jackson. We promised we'd call Daddy, before he went to bed."

"Okay." She climbed to her feet, holding her head as she straightened up.

"Mom, you alright?"

"Yes, just a little tired. And I'm slightly anaemic again, but that's all. Don't fuss." His mother gave him a reassuring smile, before she made her way up the stairs. She ran the bath for her grandson, filling it with a few bubbles, remembering doing the same for her own son dozens of times. She waited a few minutes for them to finish their phone call, before she could undress her grandson for his bath time.

"If you're slightly anaemic again, why aren't your tablets in your bag?" Greg appeared with her bag in the doorway. "And why have you got these?" He held up the bottle of pills that he recognised as anti depressants.

"Do you take pleasure in going through my bag? Don't you know that a bag is precious to a woman and you can't just go poking through it whenever it like?" Jean grabbed the pills from his hand, stuffing them back into her bag as she took it away from him too. "Everything in here is private to me."

"Just answer the question, Mom." Greg lost his patience with her. "Why are you on anti depressants?"

"I'm... going through the menopause, if you must know. The side effects of the drugs are worse than the menopause though. I see why your Nana Olaf never bothered to go to a doctor for hers."

"You're not old enough for menopause." He leant back against the doorframe of the bathroom, wishing people didn't have to get old.

"Apparently, past the age of fifty you're old enough for menopause. See, this is why you shouldn't snoop through other peoples things. It's upsetting." She climbed to her feet as she saw tears in his eyes, giving him a quick hug to cheer him up. "Don't be silly, sweetheart. It's just a natural thing. Nothing to worry about." She giggled softly as she soothed her forty year old son through his tears. "It's just menopause. It doesn't mean anything really. It's a good thing really. I've been waiting years to finally get rid of Aunt Flows visits."

Greg let out a small smirk, rolling his eyes at his mother as he wiped away his tears. "You're really okay?"

"I'm fine." She assured him. "So, did you get to talk to Nick?"

"Yeah, he's okay." Greg wiped his eyes again, glad to see the back of these emotions once the babies were out. "He hasn't actually spoken to his mother yet, but he'll see her tomorrow at the funeral. He's been staying with his sister, Kayla for the past few days. They sleep at the hotel, but they're round hers everyday."

"She one of the nice ones?"

"All his sisters are nice... except Vicki... and Ronnie, sometimes. She's one of those people that are nice to your face then trash you behind your back. Lillian, Gwen and Kayla are the nicer one's. Lillian's the divorcee that's now with her second husband, and they're having even more children, even though she's like ten years older than me or something. Gwen has the most kids. Kayla's the one that is only a year older than Nick. She had all her kids straight out of college. I think she's got four or five. She trained as a teacher or something." Greg took a seat on the closed lid of the toilet seat, watching Jackson playing with his toys in the water of his bath. "What?" He caught his mother smiling at him.

"You never once bothered to learn all the names of your own aunts, uncles or cousins growing up, but you know all of Nick's siblings names, what they do and how many kids they have."

"I don't know the exact amount they have." He protested. "And I know nothing about Nick's brother. I know the names of most of my aunts and uncles. Callum and Chrissie. Pete and Maria." He tried to prove his point, getting stuck after the first four. "Nick's really close to his sisters, so it's hard not to get to know them all. They call here more than you do."

"Alright, you proved your point. I was just making an observation." She defended herself, turning back to her grandson in front of her. "Do you know the sex of the new baby?"

"Nope." He shook his head, wondering how she would react when she found out it was twins. "We want it to be a surprise. Oh and when the baby's born, Nick wants to christen us all." He quickly let that little piece of news slip, knowing his mother wouldn't like it.

"As in us, you mean you too?" Jean watched her son getting up, making his way out of the bathroom. "What's the point if you don't believe in it? It's a total waste of time and money. You're not christen and you don't believe in any of that devil crap or cleansing with water that's been sitting in a rusty bowl."

"I won't send you an invitation if it bothers you that much."

"It does bother me when people do these things when they don't even believe in it." The woman had been to many christenings from her friends over the years and not one of them understood the meaning of it. They all just did it to show off their new baby and get lots of presents that they already got from the baby shower. "Doing this is like saying that your children need to be cleansed."

"No it's not." Greg shook his head at her, not wanting to get into an argument with her in front of his child. "Colt is really excited about it and it's a tradition in Nick's family, so we're doing it. Let it go." Greg returned to his own room, crashing against the bed to rest his painful back. He still wasn't sure if Nick wanted to christen them all to please his family, but he wanted to go through it either way, as it would make his husband happy and he hadn't seen a lot of that lately.

"Mornin' Nicky, do you think you could help Gwen dress the little kids?" Kayla asked him the second that he arrived. "She's in the front room. We're runnin' a little late already. C'mon, Colt. I've got your suit ready." She took Colt's hand, leading him through to the other room, so she could dress him in his suit.

Nick stepped into the front room, watching Gwen dressing Lillian's little girl. He didn't realise that all the children were going to his father's funeral. He thought only the older few were, but not all the preschoolers and baby's. "Hey." He hugged his sister as she climbed to her feet. "Looks like you're runnin' a nursery in here."

"Yeah, all of mine, Lily's lot and Billy's two youngest." She pointed them out on the floor. "Billy wanted it to just be the teens and us lot, but Mama wanted all her grandchildren there. I woke my lot up extra early, so they're a little more mellow for the funeral. Did you bring your two?"

"No, just Colt. Greg's at home with our youngest. He's pregnant with twins, so he can't fly anyway."

"Twins." Gwen whistled. "You're gonna have your hands full there. You fancy dressin' the toddlers." She motioned to the clothes laid out on the table. "We went out and rented a load of suits. Doesn't matter if they don't fit that well. They'll only be wearing them for a couple of hours. Mama doesn't want the kids at the wake. That's just for the grownups."

"Okay." Nick carefully climbed over the crawling toddlers, taking a look through the clothes, before he caught his first toddler to dress. It took them a while to squeeze lots of little arms and legs into the smart clothes, as well as a few diaper changes, but they eventually got a whole army of children ready for their grandfather's funeral. The next task was to get them all in the cars outside. The baby's and toddlers fussed a little, while the preschoolers complained about being buckled into their seats.

Nick climbed into one of the last cars with his own son, holding his child's hand as one of his sister's husband's drove them off to his parents ranch where the rest of the funeral looking cars were, before they headed off to his father's old office. The car in front with his father's coffin in stopped in the car park, where all the employees were lined up in their smart business suits. Nick recognised a few of the older ones from when he was a child, but there were a lot of new faces that he hadn't seen before.

Colt clutched his father's hand tightly as they bowed their heads in respect for his grandfather, standing completely still for a few minutes, before they made their way to their own cars to join them at the church. It wasn't that much further to drive, but it seemed to take forever to get into the church with all the people around.

Leaving his son with Kayla, Nick followed his older nephews and brothers in law to the funeral car, where his father's coffin was. They were all given instructions on how to lift and carry the coffin through the narrow aisle of the church, before they had to actually do it in front of all their family.

Nick managed it without breaking down into tears like he thought he would, even with shaky arms and sweaty palms. They managed to carefully place the coffin on the stand, before they made their way to their seats. He lifted Colt into his arms before he sat down, hugging his son tightly on his lap as the service began. He barely heard anything the vicar said as soon as he spotted a blown up photograph of his father. He was barely in his thirties in the photo, not a wrinkle or grey hair in sight, well before Nick was even born.

"I understand that some of his children have prepared a eulogy for their father," The vicar announced, giving the daughters a moment to climb to their feet, before they joined him at the front. "In your own time."

Gwen unravelled the speech they had prepared from her bag, before she held her sister, Ronnie's hand beside her to give her a bit of encouragement. Their mother originally wanted them all to say their own individual things about their father, but Gwen thought it would be easier if it was just two of them speaking for all seven of his children.

"Our father was the light of our life." Gwen started, already feeling a little shaky. "He was always so carin' and givin' to all of his children. Dad grew up here in Texas on his parents' ranch with eleven brothers and sisters. He always wanted a big family of his own, but he also had a passion for law from his own father."

Ronnie sniffled slightly, before she attempted to read her part of the eulogy. "Our parents met in law school, where they were both studyin' towards the same goal. After graduatin', they got married and had their first son, Bill Junior. Followed by their first daughter, Lillian, before they bought their own ranch, following in our grandfather's footsteps. After two years on the ranch, their twin daughters Veronica and Victoria were born, followed by Gwendolyn after just ten months."

"By this time our father was workin' in the DA's office," Gwen took over again. "Always makin' sure that each of us had his undivided attention. Our mother worked at his office part time and when she did, she brought all of us with her. Dad never got mad as all five of us ran in and out of the offices. He'd just give us little tasks or quests to occupy our time there. We didn't know it at the time, but he was tryin' to train us up to one day come and work with him when he was the District Attorney. But we all chose our own path that he supported with the occasional remark of, 'you could just give it up and work with me'."

Ronnie smiled at her sister, before she cleared her throat to read her next part. "Our mother suffered several miscarriages after her fifth child was born, but our father never gave up hope that one day he would get another boy to complete his army of children. He booked surprise holidays for us all the time, leavin' clever little notes or clues around the house just a few weeks before we set off, never givin' us any help or hints and we weren't allowed in the car, before one of us finally guessed it right. When our mother was expectin' our new sister, Kayla, he did the same thing. He dropped hints around the dinner table, left little clues in hidin' spots, but none of us guessed it right, until the night our mother gave birth in the front room."

"Dad stayed with her the whole time. He couldn't stomach birth when his first two children were born, so he opted to stay in the hall, while our grandmothers stayed with her. He missed the twins' emergency c-section, because he was away on business and then he missed my birth, because he felt queasy from the sight of blood. He stepped out into the hall of the hospital to breathe a moment and check on his older children, but when he came back, I was already out." Gwen paused a moment to dry her eyes, before she continued, "For Kayla though, the midwife was stuck in traffic and the ambulance hadn't arrived yet, so our father had no choice but to witness every part of her birth. He thought that was it after the horrendous ordeal he had been put through, but our mother had a surprise pregnancy just ten months after Kayla was born, bringin' him his youngest son, Nicholas."

"The night he was born, our mother and father were out on the ranch puttin' the cattle in as a storm was about to hit. She started feelin' familiar contractions as they put the last away, quickly callin' our father over to help her. He had helped her give birth before, but our youngest brother was premature and breech. He wanted to get her back to the house or even to the hospital, but our little brother didn't want to wait. He bravely cut his son's cord once he was out, drivin' them both to hospital. After that, he thought seven was enough children, not wantin' to go through the process of givin' birth to another baby."

Nick clutched his son a little tighter as he felt tears in his eyes, having never heard his birth story. He didn't even know where he was born, let alone the fact that his father was the one to pull him out.

"Dad: your love, your patience, your understandin', your wisdom lives inside us forever." Gwen choked up a little, glancing round at the coffin just a few feet from them. "Your children will miss your kind words and wisdom. Your friends will miss your coffee and corny jokes. Your grandchildren will miss your piggy back rides and comfy naps with you in your favourite recliner and our mother will miss havin' her best friend at her side."

"You have given us gifts that are more precious than anythin' in this world and you will always live on in our hearts." Ronnie finished, hugging her younger sister as the woman finally choked up with tears. "Goodbye Dad."

"Thank you." The vicar gave the daughters a moment to say goodbye to their father at the coffin, before he brought up the oldest son. "Now Bill Junior has a closing prayer for us."

Billy had never been very good at speaking publicly, so he shuffled to the front, un-crumpled a piece of paper from his suit pocket and stared down at it for the longest few minutes. He wiped the tears from his cheek, before he quickly blurted out the verses to get it over with as quickly as possible. "God our father, we thank you that you have made each of us in your own image, and give us gifts and talents with which to serve you. We thank you for Our Father, William Stokes, the years we shared with him, the good we saw in him, the love we received from him. Now give us strength and courage to leave him in your care, confident in your promise of eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."

"Amen."

Billy quickly jumped back into his seat, holding his wife's hand tightly as the curtains started to close around their father's coffin.

"In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God our brother William Stokes, and we commit his body to the ground; earth to earth; ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The Lord bless him and keep him, the Lord make his face shine upon him and be gracious unto him and give him peace." The vicar finished, shaking the hands of the immediate family as they started to make their way towards the side door of the church.

Nick lifted his tearful son into his arms as his row started to leave, suddenly wishing that Greg was here, even though he couldn't fly at this late stage of his pregnancy. He carried his son out to the car park, watching his parents friends, work colleagues and extended family offering their condolences to his sisters.

"Nicky," His mother caught up to him in the parking lot, watching him adjusting his child in his arms as he turned to look at her. "Thank you for comin'. We didn't really get to talk at the hospital last time. Your father, he knew that you were there to see him. He said your name after you left. All of your names actually . . . just about managed all seven of you."

Nick gave her a slight smile, adjusting his arms beneath his son's legs as he felt him slipping. "I never got to tell him..."

"You can't think like that." His mother dismissed him, knowing what he was thinking as there was so much that she never got to tell her husband either. "Your father always said that when we lose the ones we love, we should remember all the good things about them. He would have been glad that you were here though. And with Colt, it's a shame you didn't bring the other one too. I haven't got to see him really."

Nick decided not to say anything to that, not wanting to get into it with his mother at his own father's funeral. "I gotta get back. Our flight leaves tonight."

"You're headin' back so soon?"

"Yeah, we wonna get back to Greg." The second he saw her eyes roll, Nick turned to start walking again, realising she was never going to be okay with this, just like his father. It took him a long time to realise it, but Greg had been right all along when he said they were better off without them. He didn't need their judgement to rule his happiness.

"Nicky." The woman practically chased him to the car, remembering what her husband had told her on his death bed. "There was one thing that your father said, before the stroke... when he started to realise that this might be it." His mother caught up to him as they reached the car. "He said that acceptance comes with time. He only ever wanted you to look to him as your hero, just like all Dad's want. But you challenged him and the boundaries of our family. He's... was a control freak, just like me. But that didn't mean that he didn't love you, Nicky. We both do. You're our son and we love you."

Nick gave the woman a slight nod, wishing his father had said that he loved him even once while he was alive. Greg's father said it to his son on the phone, when they were saying their goodbyes, during the greeting hug or even just in passing. He couldn't remember a single time his father had said it, making him doubt that he really did.

"I gotta go. We've got to pack up our stuff, before we catch our flight back." Nick motioned towards the car that his brother in law was waiting in to take them back.

"Is it a late one?" She queried.

"Yeah, we should get back home early in the mornin'. Greg's pregnant with twins." He told her, knowing she'd probably hate to hear that news, but he felt like she should know. "He couldn't fly this late in the pregnancy, so he stayed home with Jackson."

"I'll have to come by and see you, when the twins are born."

Nick didn't give into the false hope, even though he thought that it might be nice to have someone from his family there for a change. "Bye, Mama." He pecked a kiss to her cheek, climbing into the back of the awaiting car with his child. His brother in law gave them a moment to buckle in, before he drove them back to Kayla's house for Nick's rental car.

"You not comin' back for the wake?" Kayla's husband, Lucas pulled into the driveway, looking round at his younger brother in law. "Your sisters will all be there."

"No... I wonna go home." Nick unplugged his son's belt, lifting him out of the car with him. "Thanks." He waved him off, drying his son's tears with his jacket sleeve, before he pressed multiple kisses to his little forehead. "I love you, kiddo."

Thank you for reading. This one was a tough one to write as I based it on my own father's funeral.

Thank you for reading!

~ Holly

Dedicated to my Dad, Paul Fuller.

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