Hi all! So this chapter was by far the hardest to write for me. I wanted to portray Yuka's struggle but also her warped sense of what needs to be done. I also wanted to make Kiba look less like a bitch. ;) So enjoy! BTW this chapter is longer than all the others... I think. Yeah, it's close to 9k words but it does dive in deep. Also, if you're not caught up with the manga there may be some spoilers/spoiler hints. Please read and review!
BTW! I do NOT own ANYTHING Naruto related except for my dvd's, gama purse, and hidden leaf tattoo. ;) All the awesomeness is Kishimoto-san's!
"Complete secrets?" Shikamaru asked, his eyes going slightly wide. "You mean how you focus your chakra at the cellular level?"
"I have other capabilities," Yuka assured, taking a sip of her wine again, balancing the cup in her open palm. "You see, in order to tell you those secrets you'd have to understand the secrets of my past; how I came to be."
"I can't wrap my mind around this," Neji said, his eyes never leaving Yuka. "You tell us our bonds are harming others yet you have such a strong connection to young Jiraiya. Tell me Yuka, did you honestly think you could just offer up the secrets of your jutsu in exchange for trust and camaraderie?"
"I'm not offering anything in exchange for anything. Kiba made it very clear that no one in this village trusts me. If I'm going to change that I believe I should be honest. Isn't that what you all want?" Yuka eyed everyone at the table, her gaze lingering on Neji and Shikamaru. They seemed the most skeptical.
"What did you mean by our bonds are harming others?" Hinata asked, her eyes flitting between Yuka and Neji. "Like Neji-niisan said, we've fought a war to protect our bonds, lost hundreds… thousands…" Hinata's voice grew quieter. "You realize that whatever you say about bonds really won't change our minds. We are dedicated to bonds and true understanding. A war didn't change that so what makes you think you could, even if you would?"
"I don't want to change anyone or anything," Yuka confessed. "But when I first came here it is the first thing I noticed. Your bonds, the effort you put into cementing them and maintaining them. It is especially odd for a shinobi village. To be honest I'm sure when I first got here I was envious. I believe that is the best word to describe such an emotion."
"You're not explaining yourself Yuka," Choji admitted. "We've fought with our hearts to maintain the bonds that are precious to us. We've loved and cared for everyone in this village; how is this hurting anyone?"
"It's still hurting me," Yuka admitted, shrugging her shoulders. "Because of your bonds, because of the student that you're precious third Hokage couldn't bring himself to kill all those years ago, my family suffered; I suffered."
"That's ignorant and selfish," Shikamaru said, shaking his head. "You may be angry, and you may feel bitter and jealous of our life here in Konoha, however it doesn't mean that you can't have that life now. You're just letting the bitterness of the past consume you."
"I'm not letting anything consume me," Yuka hissed, trying to keep her voice calm. "I don't care about your bonds; I don't care what you fight your wars about. All I wanted you to know was that your bonds have hurt me, have personally scarred me. At such a young age to have gone through such hardship and fright made me bitter, distant." Yuka paused for a moment before sighing and waving her hand. "I'm telling you this before I tell you what happened all those years ago because you have to understand that I'm slowly changing myself, slowly letting go of the bitterness, so to speak."
There was a pregnant pause, the silence in the room only broken by Choji shuffling in his chair. Yuka then sighed, standing up. "I've ruined dinner haven't I?" she asked. "So sorry about that Choji, Hinata, Ino… It was delicious. Maybe some other time we can have this conversation. It seems like I've struck a nerve I did not mean to. No disrespect to any of you or your struggles, especially you Neji-san. I meant only to explain myself."
"Then explain yourself," Shikamaru said, motioning for her to sit back down. "You're right. We don't trust you. Hokage-sama has said nothing to any of us about his true intentions for bringing you here. He says it's to protect you and bring you into our community so that you can find the bonds that were lost to you. However, it doesn't mean these past thirteen-fourteen years have not worn on your sanity; on your perceptions of who to blame for such tragedy. Any idiot would understand that."
"Which raises even greater suspicion," Neji assured, the severity gone from his voice. "A girl going from an abandoned orphan to a controlled and skilled shinobi without any definite direction is quite a feat. Even the genius Sasuke couldn't have pulled that off."
"I had help," Yuka admitted. "Someone you may have been slightly familiar with. Perhaps now is the best time to tell you what I told Kiba; at least then everyone will be up to speed."
"Please," Hinata insisted, watching her closely.
"Fine, I'll tell you about my short and seemingly miserable childhood. Like I said before… I find it hard to keep my emotions in control when I speak of it. It's still too painful."
The long silence pressed in on her like a weight and soon she could barely hear any of them breathing. They were all quietly contemplating her words, her story. She hated that no matter how much she tried to hold it back, a tear had slipped through her mask. This time though, Hinata had nearly knocked her over with her body as she held Yuka. Yuka couldn't stop the tears after that. They flowed harder than they had in years. She had to hide her face in Hinata's sweat shirt to stop the embarrassing tears.
She both hated and loved this weakness at this point. She seemed to be putting on a convincing show and though to her the pain wasn't a show, it still convinced the others to be a little less harsh and more understanding of her past. She was sure that her story would smooth the edges she'd ruffled only minutes ago but at the same time she worried that she was trying too hard, forcing the idea of her childhood at them as if offering up her life's work for judgment. She did not desire nor need these things. She needed trust, understanding, and above all she needed information.
"I'm so sorry Yuka," Hinata whispered, stroking her long red hair. She sat right next to her, making Shino move from his chair so she could be close to her. "Nothing I can say or do will change your horrible past. I know that but please let me be your friend. We are all here to offer you that, to give you that opportunity to determine a future that is separate from that horrid past."
"That's right," Ino said, nodding enthusiastically. Lee just grinned, nodding in agreement. "The pain from the past will never ever fade, Yuka." At this Ino could do nothing to hold back her own watery tears that threatened to spill over her cheeks. "Some of us know that better than others. In fact, we've all lost someone dear to us."
"Your past cannot define your future," Hinata whispered, a small smile on her face. She hadn't shed a tear once, unlike TenTen and Choji who couldn't help the tears that rolled down their cheeks when Yuka spoke of her dead mother.
After only a few moments of soft words of encouragement from Ino and Hinata, Yuka wiped her face, clearing away her tear streaked cheeks. "I don't expect I will ever get over this. It will always be there."
"We know that. We don't expect you to just get over it in a few short weeks. In fact, we'd be idiots if we so much as hoped for it," Hinata whispered. "We distrusted you; we brought you to a foreign village in the hope of making a friend out of you. We had no idea it was so painful, so frightening."
"Frightened?" Yuka said, a bit of her pride coming back into her voice. She sniffed before sitting up straight, shaking her head. "I am not frightened of anything. I'm not frightened of making new friends or of loosing loved ones again. No, the thing I am frightened of the most is being powerless to stop myself from pulling away."
"We won't let you," Ino insisted and she saw TenTen nod out of the corner of her eye.
"But you already have," Yuka whispered, looking down at her lap. Her plan was going almost too perfectly. What she was planning on saying now could change everything. "I mean…" she sniffed, her voice breaking. "I'm not Naruto. No matter what you all may think, no matter what similarities you see between us you know better than I that I am not him. I'm Yuka of the Hidden Rain. I cannot and will not be his stand in."
There was a short pause and then a hand touched her shoulder. "Spoken wisely," Shino said, coming to stand beside her. "You want to make friends; you want all of us to see you as your own person with your own struggles. I admit the likeness between you and Naruto is uncanny; however I believe that it is you, Yuka that can teach us a great deal about friendship."
"Shino-kun?" Yuka asked, her eyebrows rising. "You really believe that?"
"Yes, I do. Just like Naruto showed us the true ninja way, so will you with your friendship. I admit to not trusting you before, in fact I was wary of you and always making side notes to better define your personality and powers," Shino said, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "However, I can see now, though the shinobi in me would scream in protest, that you're determined, slightly beaten and broken, and certainly unorthodox; that doesn't make you an enemy."
"I agree," Shikamaru said, nodding in agreement. "The shinobi amongst us will always be wary of you, always watching. However, the human within us all is crying out for you and your struggle. I agree that if Orochimaru had been dealt with a long time ago by the Third Hokage, we wouldn't have any of the problems we have today. I am bitter about that." Shikamaru then sighed, his eyes focusing on something she guessed was in the far past. "But Hiruzen Sarutobi suffered because of his student. It was almost impossible for Ino, Choji, and I to kill our sensei, even if it wasn't really him. I couldn't imagine what was going through Hiruzen-sama's mind when he faced Orochimaru by himself."
"I agree. Things are never so simple," Neji said, a soft grin coming over his face. "Though, to be honest I have thought about murdering our sensei more than once." He nudged TenTen with a smile, something she obviously wasn't expecting because she blushed before grinning back. Lee however wasn't amused.
"Kill Guy-Sensei? Never! You may be a gifted genius Neji-kun but there is no way that Guy-sensei would ever loose to you!" He protested, standing from his chair and raising his arms. At this she could see a grin break out over everyone's face, Lee looking around with amused horror.
"Settle down Lee," Choji said, waving his hand. "Neji-kun didn't mean it, of course. He was just trying to lighten the mood."
"Lighten the mood with talk of murder?" Lee asked, his always large eyebrows shooting up higher than any eyebrow should.
"Lee, you can be so clueless sometimes," Ino said, standing and walking over to him. She tugged on his ear, a cheeky grin on her face. "Now sit. I think it's time for Yuka to enlighten us a little more." At this Yuka's eyes went wide and she looked around, unsure what they meant. Ino just grinned, returning to her seat.
"What do you mean, enlighten you more?" Yuka asked. "I don't want to reveal anything until I've spoken to Lord Hokage. I want him to be the first to know the true depth of these seals."
"That's fine, we aren't asking that," Hinata said, shaking her head. "You see, I think there is one thing that is bothering us all. Why did Konan keep you so well hidden and trained when she wasn't even going to use you?"
"She kept me hidden from Orochimaru," Yuka said, her eyes drifting to the table. "Orochimaru always knew that I hadn't died. He knew that and hunted vigorously until he came across a new prize all those years ago. After failing to get Itachi's eye's he came looking for my family, the remainder of my clan. He knew of the strength the Uzumaki harbored and their proficiency in seals. Only after he set his eyes on Sasuke Uchiha did I feel safe."
"Orochimaru isn't stupid," Shikamaru commented, his eyes lazily gazing over everyone. "He's a genius. When he sets his mind on something he doesn't stop and is always prepared for the worse. It sounds, to me, like Yuka was to become his back up. He knew the instability that came with the Uchiha eyes. My question is, why did he stay away?"
"Excellent point," Lee said. "When he failed to acquire Itachi's eye's it probably had him worried. Yuka could have been a desperate attempt at a quick and obviously powerful nin."
"That's not his style," Neji said. "Orochimaru doesn't easily give up a prize worthy of having. He sees all his jutsu as a prize. To let Yuka, at such a young age, slip through his fingers was just careless."
"Exactly, which makes me wonder what powers your mother possessed in her," Shikamaru paused, unsure how to word it. "Condition."
"I've asked myself that for years now," Yuka admitted. "Whatever jutsu or seal she used to ward him off was never passed to me."
"It wasn't in the scrolls she left you? Nothing?" Ino asked, her eyes flitting between Yuka and Shikamaru.
"Not a thing. The scrolls were helpful though, don't get me wrong. Before I met Konan and started my training I had set my mind to becoming a shinobi. I had already decided that I would learn all I could."
"Then that leaves only one option left," Shikamaru said. "Orochimaru is planning something big, too big for any of us to comprehend." He paused. "I knew there had to be a reason for Orochimaru just showing back up and I think I've found it. It's you, Yuka. It's obvious he is targeting you as his future body, his vessel so to speak."
"Shikamaru!" Ino said, her eye's wide. "Don't say something like that. You have no evidence."
"No," Yuka said, raising her hand. This would work to her advantage, she was sure. If she could convince them that she was the victim instead of the threat she could gain not only their protection but trust. This had her reeling with possibility. "It makes perfect sense really. Leave it to Shika-kun to come up with such a diabolical thought." She then looked around. Most of them looked shocked or contemplative but Shikamaru just grinned. "I mean, I've never met the guy but I was always wary of him. Konan had warned me, only a little bit, about the man known as Orochimaru and of the members in the Akatsuki. In fact, I only ever met one other member of the Akatsuki. The orange haired man with the piercings on his face."
"He was a puppet," Hinata whispered, her eyes downcast. "Used by Nagato to fulfill his warped sense of justice. He truly wanted peace but was taken in by the man once known as Tobi."
"I don't know anything about that but I know that for those years that she trained me I only met this man once. He was frightening to say the least. Had to battle against him to prove that I had the fortitude of mind and will," Yuka remembered, bringing forth true memories of her training with Konan.
"Then we have to assume, for the time being," Shikamaru said, raising his hand to Ino's protests. "That Orochimaru is after you. It would be about the right time for him to reanimate into a new vessel. Surely this isn't some sort of coincidence?"
"Agreed, in fact I think it's best if we bring this to the attention of Hokage-sama right away," Neji announced, moving to stand. "It is our duty now, as council members and future council members to make our concerns known."
"Right now?" TenTen protested, standing next to him. "Neji Hyuuga, you're so rude sometimes."
"I'm so sorry," he said, bowing to Yuka and then taking TenTen's hand. "I have to though. You know I do. This new information could seriously mean life or death to one of our comrades. I think it's worth a fun night cut short."
"Fun," Ino said with a smirk. "It was supposed to be a girl's night, then a dinner party, and now it's turned into an all-out strategy and tear-fest with poor Yuka as your target."
"We are sorry about that," Shikamaru said, rising from his seat. "It's just-…"
"We know, we know," Hinata said raising her hand. "Your mind is already five moves ahead Shikamaru. You decided a while ago to go talk to Hokage-sama. Just go. We'll help Yuka with her dishes and things and then give her a good night's rest. Maybe a girl's night some other night would be best."
"I swear, next time it won't be crashed by the guys," Neji said, pecking TenTen on the lips lightly before bowing to the others in the room. She just smiled and let him leave, Shikamaru, Choji, Lee, and Shino all following behind him.
"Looks like we'll get that girls night after all," Ino said shrugging.
"No, not tonight. Yuka has been interrogated enough for today. I think it best that we help her clean up and let her have the night to herself," Hinata insisted. "Besides, if I'm not mistaken she's expecting another guest tonight."
Yuka looked at her now, her eyes going wide. Hinata just grinned and stood up, starting to gather up the dirty plates and cups. Ino quickly joined in and soon all four girls had the table cleared off and the dishes rinsed ready for the dish washer. Yuka had never had a dish washer before so she felt a bit stupid asking how it was run. Ino could see the questioning look in her eyes though and grinned.
"I'll explain it and show you how to run it," Ino said with a slight smirk.
"Oh yes, that will go over lovely," TenTen said with a smirk. "Hopefully it doesn't blow up."
"Shut up!" Ino snapped, loading the dishes and silverware. After a semi-lengthy explanation of how much gel to use in the soap slot, the dishwasher was running. The girls were lighthearted and happy the rest of the visit, smiling and chatting with Yuka about the food, her plans for tomorrow, and what she planned on doing about the Hokage.
"I plan on telling him everything I just told you. It's that simple," Yuka confessed. "If anyone will know what to do about Orochimaru and his plots, it's Hokage-sama."
"I agree," Hinata said, moving to throw the last container away, the kitchen looking just as spotless as it had when they got here. "It was a fun night tonight but I'm sure Jiraiya is just going to bed. I want to give him kisses before he falls asleep so I think it's time I be going."
"Your mom will be surprised when you show up home tonight. Didn't you tell her you were staying out?"
"Yes but its fine. It's been a while since I've talked to my mom like we used to."
"Sounds nice," TenTen confessed, grinning at her. "Your mother is too kind. Even your father seems to be kind enough to allow me to live with Neji-kun."
"He's always liked you, TenTen," Hinata confessed.
"Yeah! We all know that. He likes you just as much as Neji does," Ino said with a wink. "You're a clan leader's wet-dream when it comes to future in laws. I mean, you're respectable, powerful, well brought up, and you let Neji touch you. That's like the ultimate package."
"Ugh, shut up Ino! You're so mean. Neji is smart, kind, a great listener, and he's-."
"Weird," Ino suggested, a twinkle in her eye.
"No, I was going to say romantic."
"Romantic?" Hinata scoffed, following TenTen as she went down the hall toward the front door. "That doesn't sound like Neji-niisan at all."
"You'd be surprised with what kind of person he really is," TenTen said with a slight blush. "Now enough of that. I won't have you prying into my business like you did Yuka's."
"Well that is because Yuka is nicer than you."
TenTen opened the door and a rush of air hit them, the temperature outside had dropped and sent a chill down Yuka's spine. Hinata wrapped her sweater tighter around herself and Ino just grinned, stepping out onto the elaborate marble stoop.
"We'll see you tomorrow, okay Yuka-chan? What time would you like to meet for dinner? My shift at the hospital ends at one," Ino said, tapping her chin. "I suppose we could have a late lunch instead."
"I might be busy tomorrow, Ino-chan," Yuka said quietly. "I still need to talk to Hokage-sama."
"Oh, that is right! Alright, alright…" Ino said with a nod. "Next time it'll be strictly girl's night. We need one to help Yuka out. I'm sure she knows that she has a few male admirers." Ino winked comically, a smirk on her face. "And I think it's time we helped set her up."
"Oh yes, cause that's what she needs is us getting into that business as well," TenTen said, rolling her eyes.
"I think she already knows what she wants anyway," Hinata said, patting Yuka on the arm. "Like I said, she's expecting company tonight."
"Oh! Naughty… who is it?" Ino asked with enthusiasm, TenTen holding her back from smothering Yuka in questions.
"When she is ready to tell she will," Hinata said, waving lazily at Yuka before taking off down the road. TenTen gave Yuka a hug and took off after Hinata, catching up with her and whispering excitedly. Ino's eyes went wide as she stared between Yuka and the other girls. Ino then sighed dramatically, a goofy pout coming over her face.
"Well fine, don't tell me but I'll figure it out sooner than you think," Ino said with a wink before hugging Yuka tightly and disappearing down the street after her friends.
Yuka sighed softly and stepped back into her now quiet home, closing the door with a snap behind her. It was not surprising that the information she had told them stirred curiosity and paranoia in Shikamaru and Neji but she was surprised to see that Shino also looked concerned. Without thinking her fingers went up to her lips, tracing them with the tips of her fingers, her eyes closing to remember what Shino's lips felt like. It wasn't anything extremely exciting but over the course of a couple weeks she's kissed more boys than she has in her whole life.
First Kiba, then Shikamaru, and now Shino; it all felt wrong to her but at the same time she knew that her emotions weren't a deciding factor in the ultimate plan. She knew, since she first met the two leaf tracker nin that her personal feelings, her emotions, and her timidity would all have to be destroyed in order to complete her destiny. A destiny, she'd admit, was picked out for her at a young age. Her heart was truly set on closure, of gaining the power she needed to achieve the revenge she sought against her enemies.
Everyone else thought the enemy was Orochimaru but she knew better than that. The more they tried to smooth things over the angrier she became. In fact, she wasn't sure if the tears from earlier were tears of anger at their shallow judgments or real tears from pain. Either way it felt awful. She'd prided herself, from the beginning, on being able to lie and to put on an outward appearance. It was her job and the longer she did it the easier it got. However the notion that she was insensitive, completely robotic and untouchable wasn't true. Everyday she felt that familiar ache of loss; haunted by the sickening and tightening feeling in her chest that twisted her hatred and anger like a vice. It was more than she could bear at times and it showed. Whenever her emotions, her memories, or her doubts plagued her she'd work herself raw, either in training or mastering her seals. Usually this took up a lot of chakra and in the process she'd loose consciousness. She knew better than to let her chakra drop to complete zero but at times she'd come close only to wake up days later with no memory of why she'd passed out in the first place.
The notion that she felt nothing, that her outward appearance and actions was all a mask would be inaccurate to say the least. She still felt, still bled, and still cried in pain from her past but she wasn't about to let it make her into some sort of victim. That was never an option. That is probably why everyone was suspicious; the solidarity she portrayed was misinterpreted as callousness and falsity. Dropping that armor and exposing her weakness was all part of a strategy to seem more humble. Gaining their trust was just a first step.
It was a stroke of genius to turn herself into the victim instead of the predator. That was a welcome turn of events and she'd made sure to let them come to it on their own, saying very little to push their suspicion. She hadn't expected them to immediately want to talk to Hokage-sama. That was just another welcome turn of events. It got them out of her house just in time to wait for Kiba.
Though the evening had turned from a casual dinner party to an interrogation, she didn't loose the true focus. None of them had noticed the disguised room upstairs and Kiba had yet to arrive so her seal would really be tested. His nose was superhuman, almost impossibly so and she worried that her seal wouldn't protect Orochimaru's scent or prescience. She'd find out soon enough. She didn't like leaving it to such great chance but if the Byakugan users and insect tamer didn't notice the room it was almost certain that Kiba wouldn't. Even if he did she could easily distract him from it with her own scent. He'd said it before; it was hard for him to focus on anything else when her scent was so strong.
There were still several problems to work out with this plan. She still needed a cell sample of his and she also needed to work out how she was going to approach him when he did get here. If she convinced him that they were close, exclusive, then she would loose her chance at getting closer to Shikamaru and Shino. The problem with both of them is that their significantly sharper than Kiba. Kiba fought first and thought afterward. That was rarely the case with Shino or Shikamaru. She knew this for sure with Shino. He was just a fierce and strategic as she was. She rarely caught him off guard.
She had to seriously consider choosing one of them and manipulate them to get what she wants without being obvious. If she could gain the trust of one of the most powerful clans in this village it would give her, not only an advantage in jutsu for Orochimaru, but potential inside information that is sensitive to elders and council members only. If she could achieve this she may be able to make this a lot easier for Orochimaru. That was the ultimate goal; the smoother the transition for Orochimaru, the easier it will be for him to fulfill his goals.
The truth behind his jutsu was frightening. When he first told her about it, as a child of fourteen, he explained the complicated process it would take. Her body would have to be prepared like a cadaver. He'd pull the soul out and in turn replace it with his own soul. By doing this his body would last at least another four years; maybe longer? Orochimaru was always secretive toward her. Though he revealed his true plans to her years ago as a child he just recently revealed his hopes that her body would be a permanent solution to his jutsu.
Unfortunately he never explained why this was. In time, he had said, the truth would be revealed but if anything, Yuka was impatient. At this moment she looked over at the clock. It was almost eight, the minute hand ticking away in quiet contemplation. Yuka sighed, moving to sit on the large couch again, laying on it in one swift motion. She covered her eyes and forehead with her forearm as she lay there, her mind wandering. It often did but with the days events she wasn't sure of what to contemplate first.
The truth was, since she'd been here, she never really thought about herself. Granted it was never in the game plan to take personal considerations into account when you've already sworn your body and soul to the service of another, but still. She'd never once let herself go and think about what she truly wanted from this whole thing. Besides the revenge that was rightfully hers she didn't know what else she'd gain out of it. She sometimes wondered if the price of her body and soul was, in fact, the appropriate price for her revenge. Of course every time these thoughts popped up she'd push it away, angry at herself that she'd even contemplated the true worth of her parents against her own soul.
Of course they were worth it; they were worth more. She'd trade any hopes of a peaceful afterlife to assure they were simply at peace. There was no question in her mind that the last of her clan and the only Uzumaki that could bring the pride of her clan back was her. By destroying the hidden villages that destroyed her clan's homeland and forced them into hiding she would gain the ultimate revenge. The name Uzumaki would never be forgotten, no matter if it was from that ridiculous Hokage of theirs or her own actions when Orochimaru inhabits her body. Either way her revenge would be satisfied and the world would be forever changed.
This was the hope she clung to. Innocent lives truly meant nothing to her. It may have been childish and completely selfish but she believed that if she could not have a happy life, a long and loving relationship with her own parents, what made others think they deserved such things as well? It mattered not if they were born in the comfort of a ninja village or a farming valley. The pain that one experiences when forced with the loss of the one that is most important to them will only make you stronger. She was living proof of this.
Suddenly there was a knock on her door and she jumped up, moving from the living room to the front door in a few quick strides. She bit her lip, her hands checking her body. She then swung the door open and was greeted by a tall form leaning in her doorway.
"Yuka-chan," Kiba said, a grin forming on his face. "How was dinner?" He turned his nose up, sniffing the air before looking back down at her. "Barbeque, sushi, and sweet cakes?"
"You're good," she said, moving out of his way so he could come in. After he stepped in she shut the door and found that he just grinned, motioning for her to lead the way. She'd forgotten that he hadn't been in here yet. She bit her lip, plastering a slight blush on her face as she motioned toward the elaborate and well decorated living room.
"Wow, this is…" Kiba paused, unsure of the words. His nose twitched a little bit and she could tell he was taking in the scents and layout of the house from just that one gesture. "This definitely isn't your style."
"You can tell too, huh?" Yuka asked, a grin on her face. "That's what some of the others said," she admitted. "Personally, I'd be more comfortable in a smaller less elaborate home. Wait until you see the kitchen."
"Yeah, I know what you mean," he said, glancing around. "This place is pretty expansive for one person. Maybe it's the Inuzuka instinct but we prefer to all live close together, like a pack under one roof."
"Don't all clans do that?" Yuka asked, allowing him to follow her down the hall past the dining room. He glanced in at it and then continued following. That was something appealing about Kiba. He didn't really care for ornate or complicated things. This she could agree with, at the very least.
"Not all clans," he said, following her through the door into the kitchen. "But this is pretty impressive." He marveled for a few minutes at the kitchen, mainly the size of the refrigerator. He then grinned, turning back to her. "So, I told you I had something to tell you, didn't I?"
"Yes, something about family business and why you're leaving the village so soon after a serious injury," Yuka said, a hint of crossness in her voice. Kiba just grinned, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.
"Well, you see there is a reason I'll be gone tomorrow night. It has to do with the Inuzuka clan secrets and what not. I can't tell you too much but you've already seen what a beast I can be," Kiba said, sliding to sit on the counter now, his hand going to his chin in quiet contemplation.
"Does this have to do with that transformation?" Yuka asked, her voice somewhat broken. She remembered that blood thirsty look in his eyes, the overpowering chakra that surrounded her, but most of all she remembered that gruff, almost animalistic growl of his voice when he spoke. She needed to get a hold of those cells. If she could utilize them into a seal it'd neutralize his transformation ability and render him useless when he did fight. This, she could see, may be useful at a future date.
"Yes," Kiba said, his voice quieter than normal. "If I scared you or hurt you I didn't mean to. You have to believe that-."
"I believe you," Yuka said, interrupting him. "Hurt me, I mean," she added. "I wasn't scared."
"Sure," Kiba said, a playful smirk spreading across his features. "Anyway, you saw how I transformed and what it did to me. This wasn't supposed to happen for another year. It's uncommon for a future Inuzuka alpha to start his transformation so early."
"This is normal for your clan?" Yuka asked, her eyes growing wide.
"No, just the alpha or future alpha," Kiba admitted. "To be honest, it's only hard to control around the full moon of the month."
"So now you're telling me you're a werewolf?" Yuka couldn't help but be sarcastic, a skeptical tone in her voice as she spoke. "Seriously? I can understand some similarities to wolves but to be able to turn into a beast like that is just… dangerous."
"I thought you said you weren't scared," Kiba teased, sliding off the counter now to stand in front of her. "I'm not a werewolf and the only reason that I couldn't control myself was because I was in surgery and had just woken up to someone strange in my room."
"The surgery I can understand but you really did scare me, no matter how much I don't want to admit it," Yuka said, turning away from him. "I mean, seriously! Transforming into some sort of wild beast was not what I pictured at all."
"That's why I am here. To apologize and try to explain myself," Kiba said, moving closer to her. She sighed, stepping away from him again.
"So I take it a moon lit stroll would be out of the question?" Yuka asked, walking to the back door.
"No, I can do that. I'm not a werewolf," Kiba protested following her out onto the wooden veranda. The sun was gone from the horizon, the light blue rays fading with the blackening sky. The moon was already rising over the black-navy expanse and the thousands of small stars littering the sky cast a soft glow on the elaborate garden. Yuka moved to the edge of the veranda, sitting like she did earlier that day with her legs hanging into the stones and plants below.
"So, you don't change with a full moon but you are effected by it?" Yuka asked, glancing over at him.
"I won't explain everything because my clan would never forgive me but I will tell you the basics," Kiba admitted, moving to lean against the post across from her. He didn't sit but stood there, leaning against the poll and staring at the star-lit sky. "Every alpha of the clan has this ability. It's run through our clan for generations, fathers passing it to sons and so forth. My father left before I was old enough to imprint a scent so naturally mom had to explain everything to me." He grinned at this.
"You try having that woman explain the mechanics of the process that she's never experienced," Kiba said with a scoff. "She claims the female alphas have something similar but it only comes out in two situations. Either when an alpha is pregnant or is in dire need. Naturally she was more than vague on this point."
"How does she get it then? Does that run in your clan too?" Yuka asked, her eyes glancing over him. He just shrugged, his eyes still on the sky.
"She says that the male alpha, when he chooses his mate, passes it to her. Like I said, my mother isn't the best at explaining things," Kiba confessed. "But anyway, it runs in the family. I was destined to be an alpha since I was born. So, I've known this transition was going to happen ever since I was old enough to become a ninja. However, Ma never said it could come at any time like it did the other day. In fact, I think she was surprised it happened so early as well. Like I said it isn't natural for alpha's to develop so early. Hana has been running tests and the like."
"Is there something wrong with you?" Yuka asked, her eyes roaming his body. She really wished she hadn't done that. Kiba had always been lean and fierce but from what she'd seen him do and the way the light hit him at this angle made him look downright dangerous and not for a typical reason; dangerous as in desirable. She hated when her body betrayed her like this.
"No, nothing wrong or anything," Kiba admitted. "In fact, Hana thinks that it's just because I am the only male born to my generation. The rest are all females including my cousins and sister."
"Oh," Yuka whispered, looking anywhere but his direction.
"There is one last thing that is important to tell you, the reason I won't be here tomorrow or tomorrow night…"
"I figured it out. It is a full moon and you have to endure the transformation and train and all that stuff to be ready to take on your alpha duties," Yuka said, waving her hand. "I get that. It's you're duty to-."
"You're mostly right," Kiba said with a chuckle. "I have to go to our secret compound outside Konoha. It's in the mountains, our natural terrain and our original hunting grounds. It's where our clan started hundreds of years ago." He then moved to sit next to her, a soft smile on his face. "I have to stay there for several reasons but the main reason is to keep myself and everyone else safe."
She looked at him for a moment, a grin still on his face. Even in the most serious of situations he held fast to that cheesy toothy grin. It was almost cute. "Keep yourself safe? What does that mean?"
"Well, it's hard to explain," he confessed.
"I think I can understand it," Yuka insisted, her voice solid. "Seriously, what do you mean keep yourself safe?"
"It's a secret, Yuka," he whispered. "All I can tell you is that when I disappear around the full moon every month you'll know what it's about. Most people will figure it out but I wanted you to hear it from me."
Yuka sat there a moment, contemplating his words, her eyes roaming the ground in front of her. She didn't know how she felt about this. Sure, it made it that much more difficult to get the cells from his transformed self but it also meant he was leaving the village to some unknown location to keep himself safe. What if something did go wrong? What if he was killed while in this secret place and she never saw him again?
Yuka almost cried out with that last thought. Not only because it came from no where but because it added another complication to her already complicated mission. She actually cared, actually felt that uneasy feeling that crept into her stomach when things weren't going to go at all like she'd planned.
"Yuka?" she heard him say and she looked over to see him eyeing her face. In fact, the intensity with which he was looking at her made her feel even more uncomfortable.
"You still don't trust me, right?" Yuka asked, remembering his threat from the night before. "You don't trust me and can't be around me when you're transformed. That's why you're leaving, right?" She didn't even know where these accusations came from, her mouth acting before her brain did.
"No," Kiba almost barked, his hands coming to her upper arms, turning her to look at him. "Yuka, that's not it at all. It's something that has to be done on my own, you have to understand that. When I'm finally able to control the transformation and its effects I'll be able to stay here even during the full moon."
She said nothing, looking down at her lap. She didn't want to look at him. She didn't want to reveal that she was in pain. She hated herself for it even more than she hated him for bringing these feelings out. It was ridiculous. Not even a half an hour ago she had a solid plan, an outline on what needed to be done with him and about his love but now that she was directly faced with it, all she wanted was to embrace it. She mentally kicked herself.
"Yuka?" he asked, his hands gently releasing her arms to roam up and down them, trying his best to get her attention. "Yuka, I told you earlier. I don't know why or how I love you but I know it's there. I feel it every time I see you, talk about you, and especially when I smell you. You're everywhere for me. That's something important to the Inuzuka. You have to understand that we choose our mates differently-."
"How can you love me if you don't trust me?" she asked, her eyes still averted from his. "Love is temporary. People change their minds; change themselves, and the world changes all around them… love isn't forever. People die even if they are in love."
"I don't know what to say to that," Kiba admitted, his frustration coming through in his voice. "I know you're still hiding something from me. Call it instinct or intuition; either way there is something that I can't place about you and it drives me mad. That doesn't mean that I don't love you."
"I don't think you know what love is," Yuka admitted, moving away from him to stand in the garden. She stepped over the plants and flowers, going to the path leading to the steps across from the dining room. Kiba stood and followed after her, cutting her off at the top of the steps.
"What does that mean? I know what love is, I've felt it," Kiba growled, his eyes roaming her face. "If you don't like me, if you don't want anything to do with me than tell me now. I want to walk away from this with some pride."
"See!" Yuka exclaimed, stepping around him toward the house. He quickly followed, pinning her against the door that leads into the dining room. She glared up at him, placing her hands on his chest to push him away but he didn't budge. "You do this every time! You corner me when I try to get away."
"Call it the wolf's strategy," Kiba stated, a slight smirk on his face. "I'm a predator. When I want something I get it by whatever means necessary."
"Get away from me now, Kiba, or I'll hurt you," she warned, her voice portraying the anger she felt. "I won't be responsible for-."
"Come off it Yuka," Kiba protested. "You said love doesn't last but you're lying to yourself and to me. You still love your parents, right? So how can you say love doesn't last forever?"
"Because you just said it yourself; you said if I don't like you to let you know so you can walk away with pride. How selfish!" Yuka protested, her palms pushing against his chest enough to make him take a step back. "Why do you play these games with me?" She asked, slipping through his arms back toward the kitchen door.
"What?" he asked, catching up to her and turning her to face him. "You don't like being toyed with, Yuka?" A smug smirk was spread over his lips and could see that he was being more than sarcastic.
"I've never nor am I right now toying with you! You're being unreasonable," she hissed, putting all the force she could in her shove to move him out of her way. It worked, Kiba stumbling back a few steps before regaining his posture and following after her. As she swung the back door open to go inside he grabbed it, stopping her by grabbing her other hand in his free one.
"Yuka, I'm not being unreasonable. I just want to know how you feel about me," Kiba assured, squeezing her hand slightly.
"You're really something," Yuka protested, pulling her hand out of his grip. "We've barely known one another two weeks," she continued, walking across the kitchen toward the door into the hall. "And you're already talking about love, trust, and all this other shit when you're being this selfish!" She turned around to face him now, standing in the narrow hall that separated the living room and dining room. "In case you haven't figured it out yet, genius; I've never loved, I've never really had an interest in any guy before, and in reality I could never be someone for you."
"But you haven't answered me. It's simple really. Do you have any feelings for me, or not?" Kiba asked, the aggravation evident in his stature and voice. He nearly ground out the last sentence.
Yuka stood there a moment. She'd let her emotions get away with her, clouding her mind. She needed to think this through for a moment, if only for a split second to decide her course of action. Kiba was here, in front of her, professing love and at the very least a friendship she could benefit from. However, something else stirred in her and it made her feel sick, heavy really.
If she turned him away she could loose him forever. There were so many aspects to that reality that she didn't have time to fully realize what impact that would have on her. She was developing some sort of fondness for the dog nin but she had convinced herself, since she noticed it, that it was something that needed to play out. However, the reality of it was harsher than she'd expected. His words struck a nerve and no matter how many times she played them through in her head it rang true. She either felt something for him or didn't. It was that simple; but why couldn't she decide? Was it that hard to draw out that emotion?
If she turned him away he'd be gone, out of her life and not only would she be unable to gather his cells for Orochimaru but she'd be unable to find out if these feelings were genuine. On the other hand if she decided to admit feelings it would turn both Shino and Shikamaru away. She wouldn't be able to use them the way she needed either. The possibilities of Shikamaru's family's research in medical ninjutsu would be priceless. The Aburame clan's secret insect jutsu was unstoppable; if she could develop something to top them she'd have nothing to worry about. Orochimaru would be set.
"Yuka, seriously…" Kiba sighed. "It's not that hard. Just answer me."
"Yes," she whispered, her eyes darting to his face. "Yes, I have feelings for you. I have since the day we kissed for the first time. It was amazing. I just don't know what to say about this, or do. It's obvious that you're not the only admirer I have."
"Shikamaru and Shino?" Kiba scoffed, rolling his eyes. He then crossed his arms over his chest. "They've got nothing on me, and you know it. I make you crazy, I push you're buttons," he stepped closer to her now, a playful grin on his face as his arms came to wrap around her back in a hug. He then chuckled. "I make you feel awkward in every way. You know you love it."
"It's not fair to them, Kiba," Yuka whispered, pushing him away again. "I can't just decide on you so fast. Shikamaru and Shino both have great qualities!"
"Do you really think I'm going to believe you have feelings for them too?" Kiba asked, skepticism written all over his face. "You're joking. Shino is full of bugs and Shikamaru is so damn lazy…"
"I know these things," Yuka admitted, looking over at him with annoyed eyes. "That doesn't mean their any less man than you are. You've got some ego problems Kiba, that's for sure."
"Did they get you all riled up the other morning?" Kiba asked with a smirk. "Don't think I've forgotten how much you enjoyed it. I could smell it."
Yuka glared at him for a second and then turned, walking toward the door. She grabbed the handle and went to pull the door open when Kiba's hand stopped her, leaning over her back so his hot breath tickled her neck and ear.
"You love me," Kiba said, the smile evident in his voice. "And in time you'll be mine. I won't give up on that possibility, no matter what sneaky underhanded thing you may be hiding."
He then leaned away from the door, kissing her on the cheek. She pulled the door open for him to leave, glaring at the floor as his hand grazed her cheek and then lips before departing into the cool night air. The echo from Yuka slamming, and possibly splintering, her door could be heard down the street as Kiba retreated home, a satisfied smirk on his face.
Hope you enjoyed it. Review please! :D I'd love to know who's all reading and what you think. I change a lot of my style with reviews and constructive criticism so please let me know what you think. ;) LEMON will be coming up in the next 2-3 chapters. Just FYI.