Neckties and the Art of Getting Kicked Out of Galleries
Author's note: Time sure flies doesn't it? It feels like the end of an era. This is the first real fic I've made, and the longest piece of writing. My beta-ing is done by FatalBlow who writes some hella stuff. You guys have been good to me, thank you.
You should probably stop loitering like a fucking idiot.
You, being Karkat Vantas, should probably hike up your big boy pants, march across that street, knock on Jade Harley's apartment door and beg for the chance to explain yourself, like a goddamn adult.
You will not. You will instead start on the third muffin today, just to have an excuse to be sitting at the café across the street working up your nerve, if all of this cupcake consumption didn't kill you first. No, for now the best course of action is to sit in this awful metal chair and glance over at windows in the brickwork, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jade as she passes by, if she's even home…
Beads of sweat roll down your sides, equal parts heat and nervousness. Nervousness or fear. Apparently there was a difference. You don't even remember who, but somebody said to you once that nervousness is what you feel before you do something you want to do, and fear before you do something you don't want to go through with.
Such a load of trash. I mean, of course you want to talk to Jade. Hell, you want to do more than talk. You want to hold her hand and whisper sweet nothings like a fucking moron and smooch her all the time, but by no means does that make you unafraid.
You run both your hands up your face, and through your thick hair, not even minding the sweaty feel of your palms on your skin. Life is peaches.
You sigh with desperation as you lean against the table more, placing your chin in one hand and looking toward the apartment building once more. You had no idea which one was Jade's, not that it mattered. Maybe you thought you could tell by looking, as if a little bit of her impetuous silliness would leak through. The garden on the roof is as beautiful as ever though…
Still all blooming with life, letting seeds fall with petals to dance on the heavy air to the pavement below. Something did seem different though. It seemed there was one new addition. You couldn't quite make it out, and when you did, you couldn't quite believe it.
Feverishly you unstick yourself from the chair and untangle your legs from the table to stumble upward and away from the messy place setting. You stuff your hand in your back pocket and struggle to get your wallet out and fish for a five to fling on the table. You haven't moved your eyes from that spot on the roof the whole time.
Your legs move without you even thinking about it, and you step out from under the café overhang as if in a trance, staring up against the bright empty sky to that fixed point on the roof ledge. People are looking at you, wondering if you think you see a UFO, and for all you know, it might as well be; it's about as likely as what you think is there. You still can't see it clearly. It's possible that you're simply so emotionally overtaxed, admittedly your own fault, that your vision is going hazy. You might just be passing out from heat exhaustion, what with you forgetting to drink water and all.
You step into the street without even looking, without even listening for tell-tale sounds of engines. You stand on the white line and stare upwards, arms goofishly at your side. The sun is in front of you, just barely in sight enough to sting the behinds of your eyes and silhouette all else but you don't even squint.
It's a flowerpot. An ordinary clay flowerpot. Too big for the dainty little thing inside it, in fact, you can only see enough of it at this angle to recognize that it's the one you stole yesterday. A dainty little white flower, three long petals wilting in the heat, bouncing with the air, and being otherwise perfect.
It's the flowerpot, however, that bears significance too. It's oversized because somebody needed the space to draw on it in chalk. Almost as if it needed to be large enough to be seen, like putting a lantern in a window. If ever there were a sign…
It was an awful, cartoonish little drawing of a shouting face, adorned with little candy corn head protrusions. It was really an awful likeness…
It could've meant anything to anyone, but for you, it was really the most important thing you'd ever seen. She didn't give up on you. You didn't know how you knew it, or how that scribble signaled it, but she didn't give up on you. Looking back, she never did. She always listened, was always ready to put up with you, never backed down… she was the only person who could ever throw back your bullshit in just the right way.
And it meant that she could see you. I mean, really see you. As in see right through you. Only Jade Harley could turn a petty theft into an act of kindness. Of seeing someone's imperfections and still not giving up on them.
Your fists clenched. Your teeth gritted. You even rolled up your sleeves to tell yourself you were serious. And then you marched forward…
…For about three feet until you heard a screech of rubber and felt a bull tackle you below the waste.
Your body curled and rolled up onto the hot metal hood of whatever car hit you until you almost hit their windshield, and then you were thrown back off. You fell down on your ass onto the blacktop and let your eyes jar themselves back into focus as the yellow can in front of you blared its horn.
By the feel of it, you were hit almost at a dead stop, and nothing felt broken. You rose to your feet, dusting off your pants and taking your sweet time about it for the cab driver who hit you and started beeping instead of seeing if you were alright. You stepped aside and swept your arms to the side like you were holding a door open for it, glaring at the cab driver as you shouted at him that, and I'm paraphrasing, "pedestrians have the right of fucking way and I hope your thighs get stuck to the cheap rubber seat so you have to call triple A to pry you off with the jaws of life. Your insurance isn't gonna pay that shit, buddy."
It squealed off and you stood in a huff, still in the middle of the street, ignorant of staring passerby, until you screamed into the sky. That happens more than you'd like to admit actually… the cars and the screaming.
"I fucking hate cars!"
"Karkat what the fuck are you doing!?"
You spun around at the all-too-familiar voice and let your mouth drop. Seeing Jade here reminded you that you were completely unprepared, and also incompetent. You scrambled off the road onto the pavement. She stood on her stoop, large purse slung over her shoulder, and sunhat shading her perfect face and green summer dress.
Your mouth flaps open a couple of times. Your hands point to the street silently. You are actually completely off your guard.
"Directing traffic," you finally answer. She looks at you as if you were insane. That's a poor simile; you might, in fact, be insane. She looked at you as if you stood naked at her doorstep.
"Oh my God, Karkat…" she pinches the bridge of her nose, sounding frankly rather tired of your shit, "What are you doing here?"
You put your hands up, trying to look less aggressive than normal, "I just came to talk, and that's all."
"Really?" She crossed her arms and smirked "because last time you wanted to talk to me, standing in this spot too, I remember, you peed your pants and ran home crying like a baby."
"I only did one of those things!" You interjected, pointing a finger at her and taking a step forward, just in front of her front steps. She snickers at your panic. You should be making a better effort to mask that…
"I really just came to talk, Jade, if it's not so fucking hard to believe. I just wanted to explain why I had to go and be such an ass-nozzle last night."
"Jeez, only last night?" She really knew how to push you… you only glare at her. She shrugs, "You're right, neither of us has that much time."
"For the love of fuck, Jade, you—"You cut yourself off and begin clenching and unclenching your hands. Deep breaths, deep breaths. Finally you bring up your head to lock eyes.
She actually looks not completely pissed. Almost as if she wants to know what happened with you last night… Dear lord does she have to be that good looking; I mean you're trying to focus after all. You exhale once and look at her, and for once, are able to cleanse the scowl off your face for a few minutes.
"Jade, yesterday was probably the most fun I have ever had. I mean really, I thought I was going to explode or something. The fact that I got to spend it with you was a miracle by all standards…" Your speech that starts out shaky-voiced and stumbling was starting to flow. For once, words don't fail.
"…Karkat—"
"No, I'm not done. I need to say this, Jade." You surprise yourself as you put your hands up toward her, if you don't get it out now, you never will. You suck in a deep breath and try and continue, words eluding you for a moment until you can finally right your tongue. You look for the right words. There are only five, but you'll think of more.
"I'm crazy about you, Jade!" The truth is out. You practically shout it and you realize you've been sweating throughout all of this. Idiot.
And she's smiling. Honest to god, she's smiling.
"How am I doing so far?" You ask.
"Pretty good," she grins, "But I'm not letting you off the hook yet. Keep going."
Go figure…
"You drive me crazy, and you enrage me sometimes, but nobody has ever made me feel the way you do. I'm sorry I'm an asshole. I'm sorry I'm petty. And I'm sorry I'm so damned pig-headed! But the truth is that after all of that, I need you. You're the only person who's ever taken all my shit and just… completely blown me away. You deserve better than me and we both know it, but I'm mad about you anyway."
You're standing just about a foot away from her face. She's standing on the stair above you so all you can do is just look into her eyes. They're just so green… and so alive. You don't really know how you ever got along without a sight like that.
She looks… happy. You can't believe it. You did something that made her happy. Her lips are turned up just a little bit, buck teeth poking out. She's smiling at you, green eyes and buck teeth and freckles and all. Jade Harley is smiling at you and you think you might faint.
Before you can register it you've got two armfuls of Jade Harley. First her arms snake around your throat and squeeze like boa constrictors, and the rest of her body follows, falling through the space between you to squeeze against your body as you half-wittedly caught her. You stood there paralyzed with fear and joy and love and confusion with Jade there in your arms, warm and with her face pressing against your neck. All you can think to do is what feels natural: Laying your head against hers and hold her tight.
Like all good things in your life up to this point, it's over too soon, and Jade rests herself on the ground again, pulling halfway out of your grasp. She stands with her arms around your neck, looking at you while she plays with the hair behind your head.
"I'm crazy about you too, fuckass." The way she's looking at you… you wish you could describe it. Then you remember you'd seen it before. In rose's apartment, both of you lying on the floor, she looked at you like that. If you had known it then... but it doesn't matter now.
"Does that mean I get a kiss?" You swear you might even be smiling, with your arms around Jade Harley's back.
"Didn't I say I'm not letting you off the hook just yet?" She cocks her head and grins devilishly. You're about to protest but then you just shrug in her arms.
"I guess I deserve that, you witch…" She giggles briefly as she looks about your face. Something must have popped into her memory because now she's looking at you reprovingly.
"You know, Karkat, I had a voicemail on my answering machine when I got home last night. From the parents of a certain student of mine named Bradley…"
You've got a gut feeling where this is going and put on your best poker face, which in itself is not very convincing. "Oh. I mean… oh?"
"Yes. I did. Apparently he's taken to using the word 'bitchin'' around the house. He said he learned it from a friend at school. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you Karkat?"
"…Honestly, Harley, I don't know what you've been teaching these kids."
She huffs at you and shrugs, tugging on a lock of your hair before slithering out of your loose hug.
"Oh, go home and take a shower, you smell like you've been sitting out here in the sun all day. I'll be home around six. Ok?" She pokes a finger at your chest and smiles at you. You stuff your hands in your pockets and nod once.
She smiles once more, that smile you fell in love with, and kisses you on the cheek before walking away, all warmth and compassion. You almost turn to watch her walk away, but it'd do you no good. Instead you start right back down in the other direction. You've got to go home and shower, maybe find someplace for dinner. But before that, you really should go and pay for that flower…