Finally! The entirety of chapter 23. In this chapter you see Yuka's soft side, her true soft side brought back by not so savory memories. Enjoy.
Kiba woke on the cold stone floor, his skull instantly throbbing in immense pain when his sore eyes beheld the bright day sun. "AH!" he screamed out, pulling against a set of bindings that he hadn't noticed before. "What the fuck?!"
There was a shuffling on the stone floor and then a yelp, the sound magnified within Kiba's throbbing head. It felt as if there was a chisel going to work on his temple, the constant darts of white pain making his stomach turn. He spit harshly, the taste of acid and salt filling his mouth. Suddenly there was something next to him, a person it sounded like. "Kiba," the voice cooed softly. Kiba whipped around to see who it was, his fangs still born. The transformation had not yet subsided. His dirty nails were now dirty and long claws, his entire body bulked to its absolute maximum. He felt as if he were being pressed harshly against a solid surface.
When his eyes focused he saw that his sister, Hana, was standing next to him with a needle. He instantly shrunk away from her, growling harshly. "Get away from me," he spat, his eyes narrowing. Hana just shook her head, her eyes going slightly wide.
"Kiba, listen to me. The transformation is nearly complete," she insisted, her hand grasping his enlarged shoulder. "You just need a sedative so it's not so painful."
"No! I have to control this. I don't know how long I've been out but-…"
"A few hours," Hana answered holding up her hand. "Listen just a moment. After the moon was visible in the chamber you- well you did something interesting. You transformed like we had expected but it was something that event he elders weren't sure about." Kiba just stared at her, impatiently ignoring the searing pain in his temple. "You went a bit crazy, trying your damnedest to get out of here. You kept howling, growling, and nearly killed a couple of the guards to get out of here. Before you passed out from the sedative I had to force into you. Ma had to use her fang over fang technique to subdue you."
"I was supposed to master this myself. Sedating me helps me accomplish nothing!" Kiba growled impatiently, pulling at his bindings.
"We had no choice. I rushed up here in the middle of the night to sedate you myself. Put Ma in the hospital, broken ribs and a broken leg."
At this Kiba's eyes went wider, his arms falling slack onto the dirty cool floor. Hana took this moment to try and insert the needle. Kiba didn't even protest as she gave him half the needle. "How do you feel?" she asked, looking over his body curiously.
"Slow," Kiba admitted, the haze falling over his thoughts. The throbbing headache, though not gone, was dull.
"Okay, well, I'll leave you alone for another couple hours," Hana insisted, moving to stand.
"Wait, what happened? Tell me everything…" Kiba managed to mumble, his cheek now resting on the floor.
"I'll try, at least before you pass out. When I got here the place was in near chaos. We had to bring in a few relatives to get the job done but luckily Ma had held you off until we got here." Kiba couldn't respond so he just lay there, breathing, nodding for her to continue. "Well, when I got here Ma was barely avoiding your attacks. A few of us jumped in and managed to wear you down enough to get you tied down and sedated. Ma is in Konoha. Ino said she'd be fine after a day or two of good rest."
"I can't believe I let it overpower me like that," Kiba murmured, his eyes still closed. He could smell the must of dirt and blood on the floor and the floral scent Hana wore.
"It takes time, so don't worry about it. I only gave you half a dose so you can stay conscious, if you wish but you're chakra is all over. Try not to exert yourself," Hana assured, patting his shoulder again before turning to leave. She vaulted over the high wall and disappeared with a snap of a door. Kiba groaned loudly before rolling to his back, looking at the high ceiling. The sun was streaming in slowly. It had to be just after sunrise; the birds were alive with songs and calls outside the chamber.
Kiba didn't remember much after changing. He remembered the moments leading up to the transformation. The moon was just out of view and he remembered feeling anticipation, his chakra anticipating the change. It was odd. At first he thought maybe it wasn't going to happen, nothing happening except a sense of disappointment. And then he felt the sharp pain in his spine. It was crippling and he fell to the ground before blacking out. He couldn't remember anything other than the pain and the surging ache that persisted even now that he lay here on the floor staring at the domed ceiling.
He wasn't tired, not at all. If anything his mind was racing. He felt lazy, almost unable to move but his mind was doing all the moving for him. He tried desperately to remember what happened, what he did to his mother, but nothing came to mind. It was all lost, like his life just paused at that point and then picked back up again only minutes ago. What was he doing before he blacked out?
He was just standing there, waiting for the moon to show its face. He was anticipating it and then it knocked him out. Is that how it is supposed to go? No, something was different. Kiba inspected his hand now. The deep tanned skin was smooth but his muscles were stretched, bulking against his skin like it would burst forth with the slightest movement. He noticed his claws were still long, dark and stained with blood. Had he done that?
Just then he remembered. The last thing he remembers before the pain, before the world went dark and he no longer controlled his body. He remembered seeing Yuka's face, in his thoughts, smiling back at him like he always pictured a true smile of love and affection. It was a beautiful thought but why was she the last thing he remembered? She wasn't there, Hana never mentioned it and he wasn't sure why he wanted so badly to leave the holding cell. Surely this has happened before? Maybe with his grandfather or even, though he hated the thought, his father?
Something about his transformation was off, wrong for Kiba. It felt strained, almost unnatural. He had no one to learn from, his grandfather killed during the third shinobi world war. His father… Kiba couldn't even think about it. It hurt his head more than the sedative could pull him from. He hurt his mother though, that thought wouldn't leave him. He had put her in the hospital, whether it was intentional or not. He was her last protector, her pup. This turned his stomach fiercely. The acidic taste filled his mouth again.
He hadn't realized it until now, when he ran his tongue around his mouth, that he had fangs, real ones. Sharp jagged and pointed teeth replacing his once smoother, rounded ones. What was becoming of him? What does he truly have to sacrifice for his clan?
Suddenly there was a creaking noise and then the noise of someone's footsteps. Hana appeared again, jumping down from the wall to come to stand next to him. "I've been running some tests," she drawled, looking down to make sure he was still conscious. "The simplest way I can say this to you is that your testosterone levels were extremely high, so high that the beast immediately took over. Irrational, moody, and angry; like you were injected with steroids. It's irregular to say the least."
"So, what will that do? Just make it harder to control the beast?" Kiba asked, his eyes closing. The sedative was getting to his mind now, the unusual haze fading into pure dark. He just wanted to let go and sleep.
"Not if you can control your hormones. Just go get laid already," Hana growled, kicking his side gently before disappearing.
Kiba just groaned, shaking his head. The thought alone of getting laid was now taking over his final thoughts. His mind was still hazy but the picture of Yuka coming out of that hot spring played over and over in his mind. He knew exactly who he wanted, what he wanted and she wanted nothing to do with him. Whatever clever game this woman was playing wouldn't shake him. He wanted her and would have her.
"So, what is the plan then?" Shikamaru asked, standing in front of the Hokage's desk. Konohamaru was considering something, staring at him thoughtfully.
"Well, as I've said. We know Orochimaru is after Yuka for his next body, his next reincarnation. If she is officially requesting protection by Konoha she has to understand that it isn't going to be to her liking."
"I understand that Hokage-sama," Yuka assured, nodding her head. She was standing between Shikamaru and Shino, watching Konohamaru with utmost attention.
"Then, I think we can accommodate you. The Inuzuka, Kiba and Tsume, have agreed to hide Yuka. However, since they are using the facility currently there is a wait. We will make the move tomorrow night at midnight. In the dead of night it is easier to be covert. They have also agreed to place several Inuzuka, including Kiba and Tsume, as round the clock guards. When the time passes, we figure about two days, we will move her back into the village." Konohamaru pauses, looking over at Yuka. "However, there have been suspicions raised about you Yuka. Some ninja, especially some of our higher ranking Jonin and Chunin, want you tested and evaluated."
"As I understand, Ino Yamanaka has postponed her father's inquiry on you. I have been advised, time and time again, that this is a mistake so in order to subdue my fellow nin, I have decided that the only way you will be allowed to come back into the village is if you have a full examination. Is that fair?"
Yuka just nodded, unable to speak. The work on her seals would have to accelerate if she was going to keep her mind hidden.
"Very well, then tomorrow night meet here, in front of the Hokage tower at midnight. Shino, Neji, and Shikamaru will be escorting you, along with myself, Kiba, Tsume, and two other Inuzuka to the drop off. We, as non-Inuzuka, cannot go any further. This, you all have to understand, is a tradition of the Kage and the Inuzuka for generations. Their sacred ground, their original hunting grounds and ancestral burial site, is unapproachable by any accept an Inuzuka. They've given us a pass. Don't abuse it."
"Understood," Neji nodded, bowing and then turning to leave.
"Yuka, I have something to talk to you about before you leave and then you can go," Konohamaru said, taking a paper out of his desk. Shino, Shikamaru, and Neji started filing out, parting out of the way when Moegi pushed through. She just grinned at them cutely and then shut the door behind them.
"Hokage-sama," she said, turning her attention to him. "Make this meeting quick. You have some pressing issues to attend to." She came up to stand next to him. He looked up at her and then back at his desk.
"My schedule says I have a whole hour for lunch and relaxation!" Konohamaru protested, his mouth agape.
"Exactly," Moegi hissed, nudging him with a wink. He looked at her a moment before she placed a hand on his shoulder and rubbed it gently. His eyes then suddenly widened and a grin broke over his face.
"Right," Konohamaru said with a smirk before looking back at Yuka. "Now, like I said this is sacred Inuzuka land. You'll be blindfolded and escorted via ninja-hound. You'll not know where it is and you will not be let out for a full forty eight hours. If everything goes smoothly you'll be escorted back to undergo interviews by two of our leading genjutsu and mind control experts. Inoichi Yamanaka and Ibiki Morino. When you pass you will be given the title of genin. Our village runs on a ranking system like many others so in order to become a chunin you have to pass the exam."
"Next year, right?" Yuka asked, remembering what Jiraiya said.
"Correct. Now, pack lightly; clothes and essentials are all that is needed. It is only two days."
Yuka just nodded before Konohamaru waved his hand for her to leave. She turned around and quickly opened the door, ignoring the startled and excited gasp coming from behind her. She made her way down the hall toward the stairs, quickly taking them two at a time to get to the ground faster. She had to perfect her seal tonight or else her mind would be open to anyone who pried it. She was about to leave the courtyard when Shikamaru popped out of nowhere.
"Hey," he said with a slight grin. "You look a little stressed. Come with me?"
"Hey, and I am a bit worried," she confessed, ignoring his last suggestion. "I'm not too wild about being caged up with Kiba and his mother."
"Yeah? I wouldn't be too excited either. I bet Kiba is excited though, that idiot," Shikamaru commented, turning and placing an arm over her shoulder. "Not to worry. We'll have a nice dinner and then we'll go someplace special, somewhere nice and quiet."
"Oh really?" Yuka asked, trying to play coy. She blushed, placing a hand to her mouth like she's seen Hinata do several times when she blushes.
"Don't play ignorant Yuka," Shikamaru insisted. "Remember what I told you. You'll have to make a decision soon," he said running his hand down her arm to her hip. "And acting coy really isn't going to keep Kiba and Shino at bay for long. They don't understand your mind games. However, I happen to be ahead of the curve."
"That's your downfall," Yuka whispered, leaning into the crook of his neck and teasing his skin with her breath. "You think you're ahead of the curve when, in reality, the curve doesn't exist." She kissed his neck gently before breaking from his hold and running up the road toward her home. She needed to escape that situation. She swore her hormones were overpowering her more and more.
Yuka was almost home when she was stopped again, just outside her gates. "Yuka-san, might I have a word?"
Yuka couldn't help but bite her lip when she realizes who it is. "Yeah, sure Neji-kun. What can I do for you?"
"My uncle has informed you of his intent?"
"Yes, earlier actually. What I don't understand is how it happened so quickly. First everyone is suspicious of me and now everyone wants me to tutor and train Jiraiya. It's screwed up."
"My uncle believes it will push him to his limits for something he wants. Even if he doesn't open up his dojutsu with your training it may teach him something valuable. I expect you to be at the compound after your evaluation with Inoichi and Ibiki-san," Neji insisted, stepping closer, his steady silvery pools watching her.
"Whatever you say," she shrugs. "Hokage wants me to take the same chunnin exam as him so, I'm all for some practice. If he can keep up with me he'll pass that exam with flying colors."
"Good," was all Neji said before he bowed and took off toward the Hyuuga compound. Yuka just sighed and turned around, going through the gate and up to the door. As soon as she closed the door behind her and locked it, she made a bee-line straight for Orochimaru's room. She knocked only once before the door flew open and Orochimaru was before her.
He inspected her only a moment before grabbing her by her arm and pulling her into the room. He inspected her again now, moving his hands up and down her arms before he trailed her sides, her hips, and finally his icy hands crept down her legs.
"What is it, Orochimaru-sama?" Yuka asked, quivering a bit.
"I was extracting any traces of the boy, Jiraiya. Tell me, what did those Hyuuga men want?"
"Yes, apparently I am going to be training Jiraiya," Yuka said, a hint of pride in her voice. Orochimaru inspected her a moment and then smirked.
"Is that what they want?"
"That is what he wants. He requested it specifically. He wants me, the last Uzumaki, to train him in the sealing arts," Yuka said, her eyes watching Orochimaru. He hadn't moved far from her, his hand still around her wrist tightly, his other hand trailing over her hip and waist.
"Are you alright, Orochimaru-sama?" Yuka asked, watching him nervously. He made her feel awkward, almost frightened when he touched her like this.
"Fine, except we have to decide how this will go. After I take your body I will be in the perfect position to gain his trust. He'll be quite powerful," Orochimaru mused, looking at the wall behind her with detached eyes. Then they focused again, glazing over with dilated eyes. He looked back at her now.
"There is something I never realized, though," Orochimaru cooed, the velvet smooth of his voice making her shiver. "I'm sure I'll find out in time. Tell me, my lovely Yuka, are you still innocent, still untouched?"
At this Yuka swallowed hard, nodding slowly. "I am, untouched by any man," she whispered, her eyes avoiding Orochimaru's gaze.
"Perfect, I have plans for this body and any unexpected pregnancy would be most unwelcomed," he hissed, his hand trailing over the curve of her side, lingering over the swell of her breast.
Yuka couldn't believe it but she was out of words, unsure what to do or say at this point. She hadn't thought about it before but if she didn't lose her virginity before Orochimaru took over her body, she would have no say in who it was. She was no longer a teenager so why couldn't she choose, why should she wait?
Orochimaru noticed her stiffness, her uncertainty immediately and sighed, running his hand back up over her stomach, his palm covering her right breast. He squeezed gently, moving to stand behind her. His hand slithered, quickly and uncomfortably, up over the hem of her top and under her black bra. His cool fingers instantly came in contact with her now hardened nipple, sending sparks flying behind her already closed eyes.
"I should take you for myself," Orochimaru hissed, licking her neck. "But sex, it's so animalistic, so time consuming; especially with an innocent virgin."
"Orochimaru-sama," she whispered, his fingers pinching a little harder before withdrawing his hand completely. "Is there anything else you need?" he asked, moving around her toward his large chair.
"Yes, uh…" she stumbled, paused, unsure what else she was going to say. "I… they are moving me tomorrow night at midnight to a secret facility for 48 hours. After that I am required to undergo testing and questioning by Ibiki Morino and Inoichi Yamanaka. If I pass I'm gennin. I may even be competing in the exams with Jiraiya himself."
"Perfect your mind seal and strengthen the seal around the house. I'll need it for cover until I come to you," Orochimaru said, sitting in his chair and closing his eyes. "Now leave. The next time I see you you'll be mine. Remember that my Yuka."
Yuka just nodded, her eyes downcast. She quickly left the room, sliding the door shut with a snap behind her. She needed to perfect that mind seal but more importantly she needed to decide whether she had really thought this through. She hadn't even considered her virginity or who it would go to. If she was honest with herself, she always thought that wouldn't be an issue with Orochimaru. She never thought of him as a sexual being, in fact she was sure he didn't care. However, his needs were overpowering her own. She couldn't just give herself to him or any random man that he chose. She needed it to be good, at least for the very first and last time.
The problem was that she didn't know who it would be. She could just go find someone on the street or in a bar that was so disgraceful. What if she gave herself to someone she knew, someone somewhat trustworthy. The trust wasn't really what she was concerned about though; she was mostly concerned with how it could benefit Orochimaru later. However, for once in her life, she'd like to make a decision that was her own, that only affected her. Too bad she had given that up so many years ago.
For now she would perfect her seal, her mind seal needed the most attention. She just hoped it held against Ibiki and Inoichi's prodding. It worked much like amnesia. It made me forget, temporarily, all the things that I sift through. Memories of Orochimaru or any of his plans had to be gone at least for a few days time. By then Orochimaru would already have possession of her and can grow close to Jiraiya. By shielding her mind it would also apply to Orochimaru's, suppressing it enough to induce her own memories so that he was not discovered. It was risky for her because if Orochimaru were to forget who he was during the transfer of his soul he could ultimately damage it.
That was a risk she wasn't going to take. She had to perfect it. As she sat for almost three hours, testing different inks, patterns, and ideas, she realized that the right application of chakra to the symbols for her mind induces a euphoria, allowing her to access more memories to place under seal. Though she had several seals done by Orochimaru himself, he never figured out how to fully suppress and lock away true memories. The best she had was this seal, her best work yet.
It was dark outside when Yuka left her room. She'd been in there all afternoon and most of the evening working on her mind seal. It was perfected; even the smallest detail wasn't overlooked. The seal, when she finally finished implanting it, targeted the memories that she choose to suppress, the memories she'd sealed in the first place. Just after Orochimaru took over her body he would activate the seal and suppress all of her memories of him, allowing her own brain to do most of the work. He still hadn't fully explained how he did this but Yuka trusted his jutsu wouldn't interfere in the mind seal.
It was just a matter of time before she was no longer Yuka, no longer the last Uzumaki. She would be Orochimaru, legendary sannin and most powerful ninja in the world. She had long ago gotten used to this idea but something she never calculated was his influence on her sexuality. She never really thought about it being anything but a necessary act to procure children; she never really understood, until recently, what kind of thrill it could provide. It had her at a loss for words. Her options were minimal.
She could allow things go on their normal course and allow Orochimaru to decide her fate in this matter or she could decide for herself who she made love to for the first and last time. She couldn't help but think of it like that. It would be her first time but it would also be her last because after her body was overrun she would no longer exist, no longer want or need anything, This confused and frustrated her to say the least; she hated that something so simple, so easy for everyone else, came so difficult to her.
She could throw caution to the wind for one last time and loose her virginity to someone of her choosing, someone like Kiba. This thought alone stopped her in her tracks. She hadn't even realized she'd made her way down the stairs and into the hall. She wasn't sure where she could be heading but as she stared out the window of the living room she noticed the full moon was rising high.
Was Kiba okay? Was he in danger? Why did he choose to tell me he was leaving? Is he really going to risk his life to save me from Orochimaru or is he just doing it for his village? His Hokage? There were so many questions and not enough answers to satisfy the uneasy feeling in her stomach. She didn't know what to do. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep any time soon and the longer she stayed here mulling over those questions, the more frustrated she became. She quickly shook her head from those thoughts and went to the front door. A short walk to clear her head would be all she needed.
As she stepped out onto the sidewalk, after locking the door, she noticed that the village was oddly quiet. It wasn't that late, barely nine. As she walked toward the market she noticed that many people were gathered in a procession across the river. She squinted to try and get a better look but all she could see was a mass of people holding lamps, lanterns, and candles. She slowly crept closer, crossing the bridge to come up behind someone familiar.
"Yuka-chan," a voice said and she looked over to see Choji. He was carrying a candle framed by a paper cup. "I didn't expect to see you here."
"I didn't expect it either. Tell me, Choji-kun, what is this?" Yuka asked, watching the solemn faces pass by her illuminated by dull gold and orange lights.
"Oh, every year on this night we hold a procession, sort of like a funeral procession, for all the fallen shinobi of the hidden leaf village and their allies. It's mainly to commemorate those who lost their lives during the great wars and our Kage. Konohamaru usually does a small speech at the end of the procession."
Yuka just watched, several sad and some crying faces passing her. A woman with long brown wavy hair and bandages wrapped around her like clothing passed by. She glanced over at Yuka with curious eyes and Yuka recognized her instantly. She had, hanging onto her hand, a young boy. He had dark brown, almost black hair and his eyes were just as his mothers. It was Kurenai Yuhi, the woman who was at her fight with Konohamaru and attached to her was the grandson of the third Hokage, Kaname Sarutobi.
"This is sad," Yuka sighed, looking about at the faces, some tear streaked and others hollow, almost ghostly.
"There were a lot of lives lost," Choji confessed, watching Kurenai and Kaname disappear within the crowd heading to the cemetery. "I miss my sensei every day of my life. It's terrible the fate of a ninja but in some ways it makes us stronger, makes us closer. Of course, you know this better than I do." Choji gently placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him, his kind round face settling her restless mind, in some ways. "Would you like to come with me? It's a beautiful night for a remembrance."
"I… I don't think I should."
"What? Why not?" Choji asked, his eyebrow raised skeptically. "What's wrong?"
"It's just," Yuka sighed, rubbing her temple, biting on her thumbnail uncertainly. "I'm not a leaf nin. I think it might be disrespectful to just show up there."
"It won't be, and it would be really good to show you care about the grieving widows and children who lost parents." Choji then shrugged, throwing up his hands. "I'm not trying to be political or proper about it but, it'd be nice to see your humble sadness. Show some people that you are capable of it."
She nudged him playfully now, her nervousness still buzzing in her head. She didn't know where it came from because she hadn't felt this in a while. Uncertainty was creeping over her and she wondered why.
"Well?" Choji asked, smiling down at her kindly.
Yuka had to make a decision, she knew it and the odd thing was that she wasn't sure what she should choose. Technically this was her last free night in the village, her last night as herself. Shouldn't she enjoy it? Try and make friends, even though her interests really weren't in the right place? She wanted to make friends, to know what it felt like to let someone in but she also considered what it could do for Orochimaru. She bit her lip for a moment, looking down at the ground uncertainly.
Her mind was still rushing, back and forth trying to think about what could happen in the future, would she be happier? Would there even be a point to thinking about it at all? It was all so confusing and frustrating; she needed to not think about it and just do what she pleased. That would bring her the small sense of comfort she sought in these final few days.
"Okay, Choji-kun, I'll go with you," she finally sighed, looking up at him. He had a soft smile on his face, a genuine loving smile that Yuka couldn't help but reflect. His face just made her want to smile at that point, and why should she care? Let everything loose; for once be you.
"Then let's go. It is a solemn occasion, and the speech is usually heart-wrenching but afterward, in honor of the fallen I go to the barbeque buffet," Choji confessed, a bright twinkle in his eye. "If you're not busy you are welcome to come."
"I'd love to," Yuka confessed, remembering that she hadn't eaten since that morning. She was suddenly aware of her aching stomach.
"Great, so what are you doing anyway? Just thought you'd come see what the fuss was?" Choji asked, walking in sync with her as they followed the parade of people. They wound onto the sidewalk and across the road into the memorial garden and resting place of Konoha.
"Basically, I just needed some fresh air," Yuka confessed, pushing with Choji through the stagnating crowd surrounding tombs, memorial stones, and a walkway. Choji pushed them to the same grave that Kurenai and Kaname were standing at. Both their heads bowed in silent remembrance. Beside her stood Ino, her head bowed with a silent tear streaming down her pale cheek. Choji instantly walked up behind them, wrapping his large arms around their shoulders. Both women instantly burst into tears against his chest.
Yuka even noticed tears sliding down his own cheeks. She kept silent, starting quietly at the memorial stone that read "Asuma Sarutobi", the hidden leaf symbol prominent on the stone's face. After a few moments of just staring at the stone Yuka heard some chatting. She looked over to see Shino had joined them, silently paying homage to Asuma. He then turned to a timid Hinata standing behind him. She walked up to her sensei and placed a hand on her shoulder. Kurenai instantly fell into her dark hair, crying softly.
Yuka actually felt her heart wrench, tears swelling up behind her green orbs. She truly felt their pain, unsure if she just felt sorry for them or if their loss had actually reminded her of her own. She felt it now, slip silently from the corner of her eye and down the crease of her nose; a wet, salty warm tear. What was this? Is this me finally letting go? Was this me trying to feel, to remember those painful memories that I've suppressed? By now she couldn't stop herself. She felt angry, frustrated, but most of all helpless, completely sad. She let her wall down, let herself live as herself for just once and her immediate reaction is helplessness and anger.
How weak. Yuka quickly looked away from the stone, wiping her own tears away and hoping no one saw. She hadn't cried out but she let a strangled groan escape her throat. That might not have gone unnoticed. She bit her bottom lip and kept her eyes on the stone now, unable to look back up to see if anyone was watching her. Her mind, if it was possible, was reeling even faster.
What was this? Was this her last wish? To just let it out and be unguarded? Was she doing it involuntarily? It was so hard to understand; especially since she didn't truly understand who her true self was. Her ninja self, the seasoned and genius student and kunoichi was only a part of her, not what she used to be, who she used to be. She tried to remember now, pulling forward any memories she could of happiness, of a family, or anything but the only memories she kept seeing were broken ones, harsh ones of training and isolation.
She didn't know why it was so important, why she was so desperate to remember something, something good. The last happy memory she had of her mother was that morning, that morning when they were talking, working together on small chores; nothing significant. They spoke about the rain, the place they lived… this she could remember. Then the scream, the anger, and the fear hit her. Chaos, death, blood… Yuka bit back her anger. It was that leaf ninja, the man with the bandages and those eyes; Danzo. He was dead though; murdered. What was she doing this for now?
That thought brought on a headache instantly. She felt a dull ache in her brain, unable to think clearly. She felt somewhat weak, lightheaded. She settled her shaking legs, standing straight and holding herself around her waist. She needed to calm down; the last thing she needed was more suspicion and doubt. It was kind of hazy, everything fading away for a moment. Yuka could feel her stomach turning slightly but then a voice caught her attention. It was louder than anything around her.
"Tonight is a night of remembrance," came Konohamaru's voice. Yuka focused enough to see he was standing on a veranda, up a set of a couple steps. Behind him were stone monuments and etched words. He was wearing a traditional leaf shinobi uniform. Green flak jacket, navy under shirt and standard navy pants and sandals; he only held one thing that symbolized him as Hokage. He held his red and white hat, the symbol of greatness.
"Remembrance for loved one's lost. Fathers, mothers, sons, brothers, sisters, daughters, lovers, and dear, dear friends and mentors; all taken away by the chaos of the old shinobi world. We have all lost many, both during the first three shinobi wars and the attacks of the Chunnin exams where we lost my grandfather, our third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi. This ceremony, this quiet eulogy, is in remembrance of all our brave mentors and loved ones. So, in silent prayer I'd like to take this time to remember all those we've lost including," Konohamaru paused, taking a deep breath.
"Including Hiruzen Sarutobi, Minato Namikaze, Jiraiya and Tsunade, legendary sannin, our brothers and sisters lost to the fourth shinobi world war, Itachi Uchiha, and all the Uchiha who were brutally used and murdered for the sake of our freedom. My uncle, Elite Guardian of the Fire Daimyo Asuma Sarutobi, and finally, our beloved team seven; including legendary medic Sakura Haruno and our beloved sixth Hokage, Naruto Uzumaki."
There was a silent pause, the wind not even bothering to blow through and break up anyone's silent prayer. There were several soft cries and sniffing but mostly there was a sad and solemn silence. It pressed upon her ears like a weight. Then there were several people shuffling around, moving back toward the entrance. It was a small, quiet ceremony of remembrance but everyone around them began shuffling out.
Choji, who had shuffled around toward Yuka was watching in silence. Yuka wondered why it was such a small ceremony, why such an abrupt and solemn speech. When she looked up at Choji she could see he was a bit bothered by it as well. It wasn't his usual genuine smile, but he just smiled at her and then nodded toward Ino and Kurenai. They were both casually conversing; the solemn look still evident in Kurenai's eyes. Ino's, however, were still a bit misted.
"They hide it well, but this ceremony always chokes them up," Choji insisted. "But Kaname has grown into a fine young ninja. A year ahead of Jiraiya and sharp. He doesn't talk much though." After a few minutes of silence Choji said goodbye to Kurenai, Ino following suit, talking in hushed tones to both Kurenai and Kaname. Shino, on the other hand, was walking with Hinata toward them.
"Hello Yuka-chan," Shino greeted. "I'm surprised to see you here."
"That's exactly how I feel, surprised," Yuka assured watching as Kurenai knelt down to speak to Kaname. Ino came over to them, wiping her eyes and attempting to fix her make-up.
"You going to dinner too?" Shino asked, watching her curiously. Choji nodded exuberantly, wrapping an arm around Ino's slacken shoulders.
"She is, and we're going chat, and smile, and for the first time in a very long time we're going to forget the sadness, the loss. Okay?" Choji asked, nudging Ino slightly. She gave him a small smile her blue eyes still misted with unshed tears. He sighed then, pulling her into a broad hug, encasing her entire body in his arms. She cried softly, for only a moment against him. She whispered something in his ear and he nodded, his hand cupping her chin. He wiped a tear away with his thumb and nodded over his shoulder.
"Go with them, Kurenai will need you tonight," Choji assured, pushing a long blonde strand from her cheek behind her ear. She just sniffed, wiping her eyes before nodding. She then hugged Choji again before turning to kneel next to Kurenai. Yuka could understand Ino's depression today. She'd lost Sakura, her best friend since she was a child, in the war. She acted like she wasn't as drastically effected by Naruto and Sasuke's death as others but everyone could tell it wore on her. The death she was still bitterly sick about was Asuma's. After watching him die before her eyes and then having to battle his reincarnated spirit during the war, she had had enough.
Choji watched her a moment and then turned back to Hinata and Shino. "So, dinner you three? I'll treat!"
"How can we refuse?" Hinata smiled, Shino smiling slightly at her over his long trench coat.
Yuka just smiled at them, linking her arm with Hinata's. She didn't even bother masking her smile, didn't bother pretending to be nice. She was genuinely humbled as she felt an odd sensation in her stomach. She couldn't help but smile as them as they made their way out of the memorial park down the road. Choji had adopted an infectious smile and soon everyone, including Yuka, was smiling and laughing back, as if the ceremony hadn't even happened.