June 26th, 2005
John's POV
He is ready well before he needs to be and chooses to spend some time in his office as he considers how he is hoping today should go.
It's been two days since he last saw Sherlock. They had dinner his office while having one on of their not really talking and just happily sharing space evenings together. He's quite sure that Sherlock is going to recover and go on to be amazing. It's just a hard and time consuming process. Sherlock has made more progress in two weeks then a lot of people make in months, sometimes even years. Despite that, it is not a good idea to compare any two patient's progress because each person will heal on their own time schedule.
However, he does think the upcoming conversation is needed for the healing process. He is equally sure there will be more than one of them, and that there will probably be at least one explosion. Both brothers have things they need to say to get off their chest. Both brothers will hurt each other emotionally before they will be able to repair the damage already there. Before there is any chance of that damage being repaired, they will have to face it, and that's going to hurt no matter how clinically it is done.
He stops typing for a moment, eyes closing as he considers every conversation and meeting he has had with both, everything he knows about both. After his last conversation with Mycroft, he had been surprised by the PA stopping by with a large file. She had seemed hesitant to give it to him, but finally had with a curt nod before leaving. If he was a betting man, he'd wager that she thinks of her boss as a friend, or something close to one and doesn't wish to see him hurt.
Actually, his eyes open as he considers what the PA looks like and Sherlock, wondering if there is some sort of familial relationship between them. It would make sense that she was family, friend, and partner. He'll have to ask about it later. It's not important at the moment.
Checking the clock, he realizes what time it is and closes everything out, he refuses to be late when he was ready so very early, far earlier than he really needed to be.
Just as he gets to the door the black car pulls curb side and the dark haired PA steps out.
-Is there something I can call you?- he asks the assistant as he exits the clinic.
The dark haired woman blinks at him once as if processing the information in a manner that reminds him of Sherlock before nodding. –Anna or Anthea,- she responds with a smile, -They are waiting for you Doctor Watson.-
-Nice to meet you,- he comments before sliding into the car.
The ride to the flat is peaceful, he is still thinking about the situation he is walking into and she is toying with her phone. When they reach the flat, she escorts him inside before calling something out that he cannot make out, bidding him farewell, and leaving. Less than a minute later Sherlock is there, stocking feet sliding on the wooden floors.
-Hello Sherlock,- he greets the younger man with warm smile, -Good day so far?-
Sherlock nods in response, head bobbing once, hands hesitantly flickering a quick, -Yes.-
-That's good,- he replies calmly, still smiling at his patient and almost-friend. –Would you like to show me around?-
Again Sherlock nods, reaching out to grab his hand before dragging him through the flat.
He laughs, easily keeping up as they make their way to a basement. When they reach the room, Sherlock stops just inside the door, watching him like a hawk as he takes everything in. Someone converted this to a very well stocked and designed lab.
Since the young genius is just about vibrating with excitement, he takes his time exploring the room. He hasn't been in this type of lab in a long while. The last time he was, he had an interrupter with him to give him the instructions and warn him when others were being idiots. This lab is just as good, maybe even better, than that lab. He'll have to have Sherlock show and tell him about the experiments he likes to do.
-It's a very nice lab,- he tells the younger man as he completes the circuit of the room and comes to stop just before Sherlock. –Have you had a chance to use it yet?-
The dark-haired genius looks a bit embarrassed as he shakes his head no.
-He's been a bit busy,- Jim remarks as he strides over, -It's on the planner though.- An almost sincere smile curves the psychopath's lips as he states, -Hello John.-
-Hi Jim,- he replies with a chuckle, watching as Sherlock relaxes slightly.
-Just figured I would say hi before your meeting,- the agent remarks, -I'm planning on spending the afternoon reading unless I am otherwise needed, might join for dinner, haven't decided yet.-
-Reading is a good past time,- he responds with a nod, -One I do quite often.-
-Well, I will leave him to showing you around the rest of the house,- the psychopath remarks, turning and leaving before either has a chance to say anything.
Smiling at Sherlock mischievously, he comments, -I'm still not sure if I like him or not.-
The younger man ducks his head and smirks, nodding slightly, -Yeah.-
-Show me the rest?- he suggests, knowing this might be a bit much for the recovering genius.
The next little bit is spent with them wandering from room to room. Though they do not actually speak, he does make little comments here and there, enjoying the different expressions that flicker across Sherlock's face as he does so. They go through the entire downstairs, his favorite room being the library.
When they stop in front of a door, Sherlock hesitates as if unsure of himself and nervous, shifting from foot to foot and biting his lower lip.
-You could show me the upstairs if you want?- he suggests, trying for relaxing.
Shaking his head, the younger man doesn't actually answer but slowly reaches for the door.
This must be the meeting with Mycroft. Sherlock is afraid of this for some reason. He'll just have to make sure sherlock knows he is there for him.
As the door swings open, he smiles encouragingly at the young genius.
Reaching out, he lightly touches the genius' arm, drawing Sherlock's attention to him.
Swallowing, the younger man looks at him, waiting to see what he has to say.
-Whatever happens, we're friends,- he informs his patient, meaning every word of it. They have only known each other for just a little over two weeks but he feels that they are friends already.
Several moments are spent with the younger man studying him before Sherlock straightens his shoulders and smiles at him. Turning back towards the office, Sherlock steps through the door, walking in with a bit more confidence than he has seen in most his actions.
-Good afternoon, Sherlock, John.- the elder brother comments as they walk into the room, meeting both of their gazes. –If you would like to take a seat, I will have our cook bring a tea service and biscuits.-
He takes a seat on the small divan, smiling at the younger man when Sherlock settles next to him.
-Hello Mycroft,- he greets the politician, -Tea would be welcome.-
Lifting his phone, Mycroft taps out a text before setting it back down.
-She will be here shortly.- the elder brother states.
The three of them sit in relative peace, though he notices the longer they sit there not speaking, the tenser Sherlock gets. He studies both brothers, realizing that it is not just Sherlock who is getting tenser. Mycroft is as well, it shows in the way the older man is holding himself and his eyes keep darting to his brother. When he is done studying the brothers, he takes his time looking around the office like room, taking note of where everything is and thinking it is a cross between an office and a lounge.
The cook comes bustling in carrying a large tray, smiling at each of them before retreating once more after settling it on the small table by the divan.
Mycroft moves to one of the other chairs closer to them, inquiring, -How do you take your tea?-
He answers with a slight upwards tip to his lips and he thanks the older man when he's hands his tea.
The three of them continue to sit there quietly, his eyes flickering between the brothers who are trying to look anywhere but at each other, of course.
Should he try to start the conversation or let them stew a bit? He wonders as he glances between the pair. Better not let them stew, these two already have enough tension between them that the air could be cut with a knife, and a dull one at that.
-Sherlock, Mycroft,- he states calmly, only neither seems to realize it because they are trying so hard not to look at each other, they totally miss him signing.
Two more times he tries to catch their attention before finally deciding to try clapping his hands together lightly, not enough to be a shock, just enough to catch their attention. It works, both brothers look at him. Sherlock's eyes are a bit wide, startled, with just a touch of something else in them, fear or disbelief maybe. Mycroft's eyes are glassy as if he is trying not to show his emotions, yet his every action since they walked in was one tell after another. Maybe not to someone from the hearing world who relies on tone to relay emotion and feeling, but it's still there.
-Sorry about that, I tried saying your names but both of you are actively trying to look anywhere but at each other and didn't notice.- he comments, smiling reassuringly at Sherlock. –I think perhaps we should try to begin our discussion. There will definitely be more than one of these talks, because I am sure that covering everything between you will not be a simple matter. Not if you want to actually deal with the aftermath. So topic and beginning? I brought paper and a pen for Sherlock, I am sure you have one here as well, but forethought is important.-
Apprehensively, Sherlock nods, reaching towards him as if wanting the paper and pen.
He fishes it out of his case and hands it to the younger man, smiling at the younger man's startled expression when Sherlock realizes it's the same pen he offers in his office.
-I will begin,- Mycroft states, straightening in his seat and holding himself a bit stiffly.
Sherlock pivots in his spot so he is facing his brother's general direction without actually facing Mycroft.
-It has been brought to my attention in the last several weeks that I may have been mistaken in how I have handled our relationship.- The elder brother declares, -As such, I wish to apologize and ask how I may rectify the situation.-
Folding his hands, Mycroft sets them on his lap, looking directly at his brother and awaiting the answer.
That immediately puts Sherlock on the defensive, feeling like he is put on the spot. He can see how the younger man starts to tremble, picking the pen up to write but not getting very far because of the shaking.
-Mycroft,- he comments, drawing the older man's attention, - Stop directly putting pressure on your brother. Relax, perhaps write something for yourself. Actually, yes, I would like you to write down why you feel you have made a mistake, how, and what you think could be a solution while Sherlock considers your question at his pace.-
For a minute it looks like the politician is going to argue with him. Instead, Mycroft stands and heads to his desk in order to grab the required supplies before returning to the chair.
He nods approvingly when the older brother starts writing, only occasionally looking at Sherlock.
For nearly half an hour they stay like that. Sherlock is nervous and tense beside him, tapping the pen against the paper absently as he watches his brother with distrustful eyes. Mycroft appears to be equally nervous, though the outward signs require actually looking for them, because the older brother is doing a good job of masking it. He just considers what he knows about each and how to handle the situation.
Finally the Sherlock writes just one word on his notepad before passing it over.
His eyes flicker at the paper, noting the single word, and understanding it completely.
-He would like to know why.- He states when Mycroft's eyes meet his.
Nodding sharply, the elder brother considers the question, probably trying to decide which why to answer first. After all, there are several possible why's to be asked. He will wait to see which one the politician answers.
Passing the notepad back, he settles in to wait for the next leg in the conversation.
Actually, he thinks ten minutes in, tea.
Scooting to the edge of his spot, he reaches for the teapot, happy to find that there is still tea in it and it feels warms, so hopefully the tea will be warm as well. Absently he makes each of their cups with the same things as Mycroft before handing them out and settling back into his spot.
Another several minutes pass as the brothers sip at their tea, both of them sitting tensely waiting for the other.
When Mycroft finally starts to answer the question, it is almost hesitantly, as if he feels he may be wrong. It's quite a different mentality and display than he has previously shown.
-When I accepted the internship, I made the decision the best way to protect my family, and thus you Sherlock, was to cut contact as much as possible. I did not think that you would be adversely affected by it in the long run.- Mycroft begins, pausing for a moment as if to gather his thoughts. –After all, you were young. I thought you would find someone else to shadow.-
Sherlock flinches as his smacked, curling into himself as if trying to make himself smaller.
Eyes narrowing he nearly demands, -Do you actually wish for this to help or just going through the motions? You response so far has been the motions.-
Mycroft's mouth opens as if he is going to answer aloud before it snaps shut, and he signs, -I do.-
-Good.- he answers, then motions for the older man to continue.
-I convinced myself that I was right. After all, I am rarely wrong about things. You know that, you're the same way,- Mycroft continues after another pause as if considering his words further. –When you started to go downhill, I convinced myself it had nothing to do with me. You would have done that whether I was there or not.- This time when the older brother stops, it's to collect his composer because a flush has covered his face, making it splotchy. –Over the last seven months, things have been quite an eye-opener.-
Sherlock blinks at his brother, confusion plainly written across the younger brother's face.
Like when they speak alone, he gives Sherlock a chance to process and speak on his own time.
Mycroft follows suit, returning to writing on the paper. It seems there is a lot the older man wishes to write down.
Eventually, the dark-haired genius surprises both by signing, -You don't care.- slowly.
He watches the way Mycroft recoils, it's subtle. The older man's back straightening, eyes narrowing for just a flash, and head lifting. It's almost defiant as if refusing to back down, even when wrong. Yet, he tips his head as he studies the older man. It's no less a withdrawal than Sherlock curling into himself. It's nothing but a distraction that most people probably think of as arrogance. In a way they would be right, but not completely, because it's not completely arrogance, it's pain and refusal to accept it.
He arches one questioning eyebrow at the elder brother, waiting to see if Mycroft would answer or not.
-I do. I was mistaken in my behavior. That is now evident.- Mycroft states firmly, "I am sorry."
Sometimes he wishes he could hear just to hear tone, but the way the politician leans forward, eyes focused on Sherlock as he speaks says a lot.
Silence falls for them again while the two brother's think about what the other says.
Eventually Sherlock starts writing on his paper. Quite a bit actually, according to the way the pen is flying. When the younger man is done, Sherlock thrusts the paper towards him, ducking his head and not looking at anyone as he does so.
-Pass this to your brother or read aloud?- he asks the younger genius gently, not looking directly at Sherlock's face but still watching him.
Several minutes pass while the younger man considers that before finally nodding, -Read.-
He nods in response, settling the notebook on his lap so he can sign as he reads it. –I don't believe you. You're too smart to make a mistake like that. That means I must be the problem. You must not care. Never cared. You only feel bad because this makes you look bad. I should be dead. You want me dead. Gone. Never wanted a brother. I thought that as a child. Still think that. Why do you hate me?-
He glances between the brothers and the paper as he speaks, watching their reactions. Sherlock is expecting Mycroft to lash out, attack him, something. Mycroft on the other hand is staring at Sherlock in open disbelief and horror. All the emotions kept behind the mask plain to see as the words had shattered something.
"I don't hate you," Mycroft declares in shock, both aloud and with sign language. –Even when you make me angry, I've never hated you. I can make a mistake like that. Apparently too easily. I care, Sherlock, I always have.-
Sherlock is on his feet and bolting before his brother has finished speaking.
Mycroft stands, planning on following according to his expression, only he holds his hand up to stop him.
-Not yet, let me go speak with him, right now you would just make things worse. He needs time to process.- He tells the older man with a small shake of his head.
Stormy eyes focus on him before the older man nods tensely.
-Perhaps you should consider why Sherlock would feel that way, write it out, put it aside, and come back to it later to see if you have anything else to add to it.- he suggests gently.
Mycroft nods again, slowly turning and returning to his desk.
He stands, leaving the room, since he saw the entire downstairs, the bedrooms must be upstairs.
-He's in there,- Jim tells him, motioning to a door, -Can you make out a cello? He wanted to play for you.-
He nods, -Thank you, and as long as it's not thick carpet I can,- he replies.
-I wrap on the door twice to let him know it's me,- the agent tells him, -Not hard, just enough to let him know I am here, I slipped in already to check on him, he's currently in the corner between bed and dresser.-
Again he nods and thanks the agent before closing the distance to the door, he'll knock and see if Sherlock responds.
There's a bit of an update to my updating schedule, it won't affect this story, but it affects the rest of them. Since reviews have dropped since I went on a regular schedule, I am going to switch back to updating as I get things done and have focus instead. However I also plan to try and complete each story, or as complete as I possibly can without feedback before I begin posting. Once I get the story ready, when it would have originally be updated on the schedule is when I will update it. I still won't be doing more than two stories any given day, disregarding tumblr prompts.
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*waves* hi folks, so here is that chapter I originally intended for number 24 before the muses & the ma situation happened leading to the other two chapters. Thank you to everyone who wished ma well and has had patients as I deal with everything here lately