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Today was a mess!
They cancelled on me. Joe's parents cancelled on me. Something to do with the florist having the wrong flower arrangements for the funeral, which was now 2 days away.
I respected that they had to sort it out. They were already helping me so much and I shouldn't have made arrangements knowing it was an upsetting, busy time for everyone, but I did and now it's backfired in my face.
I was scared for the funeral. I just didn't want to say goodbye properly, but at the moment I had something else on my hands. It was 5 minutes past 12. If Finn was still coming to talk to me, if he was I see he still has the same habits of being late like he used to, I will have my 2 children here with me. My 2 children who are very much awake and hyper.
Jake's in their room; he told me he had to do a surprise painting for me to make me smile, just the thought cheered me up. Riley's running around the main room playing with his toy cars on every surface possible. Finn should be here any minute. He doesn't know we won't be alone. I never got his number so I couldn't text him and had know way to get in contact with him. Hopefully, he'll understand.
I was in the kitchen making ham and cheese sandwiches for the boys when there was a knock on the door.
"Can I get the door, mummy?" I heard Jake shout from his room.
"No, Jakey. Let mummy," I replied, trying to figure out what I could say to Finn whilst hurrying past Riley who still had a type grip on his favourite yellow car but looked up at me with big eyes.
"Play, mama?" he asked, forcing a small red car that was on the floor in to my hand, "brum brum," he then said, making sure I knew he meant play cars.
"Not at the minute baby, mummy needs to get to the door." I tried walking over him to reach the door but he grabbed on to my skirt and let out a loud, high pitched wail letting tears fall down his face. I knew he wasn't actually upset and was just being my demanding, attention seeking 2 year old but I didn't have time to let him cry, I still had to answer the door and explain the situation so I picked him up and shushed him, balancing him on my hip as he clung to my vest top.
I took a breath before opening the door, and when I did, I saw the person I expected to be there. "Finn, hey," I said, acting casual.
"Erm, hey Rach," he replied. I saw him look at Riley who was now not crying and had a huge smile on his face, probably thinking he had a new friend to play cars with.
"Heya," Riley said. For his young age he was really clever and always spoke he felt the need to. He also knew a lot of words and sentences although he mis-pronounced a lot of words.
"Hey little man," Finn said waving at the laughing boy on my hip as he held his hand out to give Finn a high five. Finn responded to his high five and chuckled slightly looking back at me. "I'm sorry," I mouthed and he just shook his head, smiling and silently laughing.
I then invited Finn in and explained why I had the boys at home, he just smiled again, that perfect half smile, and told me it was fine and he'd happily spend the day playing cars and watching toy story.
I set out Riley's toys on the floor with him next to them, immediately forgetting about the guest and playing by himself, then sat down on the sofa next to Finn, alike to the way we sat last night; him on the left hand side, his body twisted slightly so he could look at me and I was on the opposite end, sitting with my legs tucked under my also twisted to see him.
'So, where's Jake?" he asked. That's when I realised he hasn't met my other son yet.
"Oh, he's in his room, painting a picture. I'll go get him now," I replied quickly getting up and running off to Jake and Riley's room, hearing Riley say "mama" from behind.
I went in to the boys' room and it looked like a bomb had hit! Bright paint was everywhere: on the beds, the floor and Jake and most of the clothes he was wearing.
"Jake Christopher Lighton! What have you done!?" I shouted, trying to contain the anger I felt.
"I'm sorry, mummy! All the paint fell and I wanted to clean it before you saw," he responded, clearly upset and sorry. He stood up standing in the only clean spot near him and I saw a paint-submerged sock that he had used to try and scrub of the paint. I sighed leaning over and putting my hands under his armpits, the only part of his shirt not covered in paint, and lifted him. I walked in to the main room, trying to keep him as far away from any furniture and myself as possible and placed him on a towel on the kitchen counter. I turned around and saw Finn, standing and gawping at my paint-covered son with my other son in his arms.
"He tried to follow you," Finn explained, "so I had to pick him up so he didn't."
"It's fine Finn," I replied. "This is Jake, my son, and Jake this is Finn, one of my oldest friends," I said smiling. "I'm sorry Finn, he's not usually red, blue, green and yellow so I'm just going to try and find someway to remove the lovely new arrangement to his looks. Would you mind watching them both a minute?"
"Yeah, sure," he answered, laughing slightly.
I hurried away in to the bathroom to try and find someway to clean my son.
Eventually I found some 'soft but powerful' wipes that I made Joe buy the last time we had a fiasco like this when Jake was 2 and I was heavily pregnant with Riley. I took them out of the bathroom before running to the boys' bedroom and practically leaping over the paint on the floor so I could get some clean clothes out for Jake. The entire bottom of his trousers and near enough the whole of his t-shirt was covered in paint. Quickly, I used the wipes to wipe away the paint from the floor and decide to wash their bedding later. I then walked back in to the kitchen area, through the main room to see Finn standing opposite Jake, still holding Riley and trying to make conversation with them both as all Riley did was giggle and Jake answered occasionally but looked unpleased with his head hanging towards the floor.
"Hey, bud," I said looking at Jake. His head snapped up straight away and he looked at me with a grin. "Look what I found," I carried on, smirking slightly holding up the wipes, "and so you don't have to sit in your lovely but awfully uncomfortable painted clothes." I held up the clothes and he smiled again.
"Mama," I heard Riley say and moved to look at him in Finn's arms.
"Hey, sunshine," I said to him, touching one of his chubby cheeks, "Give me a minute and then I'll see to you, baby," I then looked at Finn ignoring Riley's outstretched arms. "Thank you," I said quietly, "I'll talk to you once I've seen to these two," I carried on, smiling at him. He smirked back.
"Ok," he replied, "come here you," he moved Riley in his arms so he was facing him, "lets play cars and let mummy give Jake the attention he needs."
Riley smiled widely, dimples forming on his cheeks and shouted, "brum brum!" Finn then laughed and hurried away to in front of the sofa out of view to play cars.
I started cleaning up Jake as he looked at me through his thick eyelashes, "who is that, mummy?" he questioned.
"Like I said Jakey, that's my friend, Finn Hudson, I used to sing with him in school," I answered.
"Why is he here, mummy? Is he taking over daddy?"
"No, no he's not baby. I just need a friend my age to talk to again. I used to talk to grown up stuff with daddy so I need some more friends to talk to," I replied.
"What about me mummy? I will talk about grown up stuff with you, like dresses and beer."
"Sweetie, to talk about grown up stuff you need to be a grown up," I chuckled finishing off cleaning him and starting to take of his clothes to change him. "I promise he will never try to take over daddy. Just, give him a chance baby. He's a nice man and a good friend off mine and I bet you'll love him once you get to know him."
"I dunno mummy," he said quickly pausing as I finished changing him. He then looked at me again sadly saying, "I miss daddy."
"I know," I replied, "I do too, but we need to be happy, for him. He'll want you, me and Riley to be happy baby."
"I know," he muttered, sliding off the counter and taking the sandwich I had made before Finn even came and ran off to his room.
"Don't sit on your bed Jake," I shouted after him, "and the floor might be slippy so be careful! And don't use paints!"
"Yup, yup, yup," he shouted back and carried on running.
I then walked in to the main room to see Riley and Finn playing cars.
"Nice game there?" I asked, making my presence known.
"Yep mama, Finn good!" Riley shouted.
"Hm, I know baby," I replied looking up and smiling softly at a smirking Finn. "I'm sorry to ruin the fun, monster, but you need a bum change and a sandwich to eat."
He looked up at me and lay down in the middle of the room. I picked him up, dragged out the change mat from under the sofa and lay him down on it. "Sorry about this," I mumbled to Finn as I pulled out a clean diaper, some baby wipes, talc, cream, and a nappy bag.
"It's fine," he said back. I expected him to awkwardly move or go to the toilet but he still sat on the floor next to me as I cleaned Riley's bum. I heard Riley humming a tune and then Finn started humming it as well, in sync with Riley. I gave him a questioning look, and he smiled. "What?" he asked laughing, "it's from pirates of the Caribbean." Of course this made sense, both boys loved pirates and always watched that film.
"Can we watch it mama!" Riley squealed, wriggling around as I tried to put his clothes back on him. I gave up eventually and put on pirates of the Caribbean, Riley on Finn's lap in his baby grow vest and his dinosaur top, refusing to let me put pants on him as he stuffed his sandwich in to his mouth.
Jake heard the music and emerged from his room, and cuddled up next to me and Finn on the sofa at we watched the film.
It was half four when it had finished. Riley had long since fell asleep, still wrapped up in Finn's arms on his lap, and Jake was yawning and moaning about his tiredness, curled up in Finn's other arm as it wrapped around his body and rested on my knee.
"Come on," I said standing up, "go to my bed with Riley, you both can go to sleep."
"You talking to me or Jake here?" Finn said, smirking.
"Shush you, or you're going home," I threatened, playfully.
"Oh, we wouldn't want that would we?" he said standing up, still holding Riley. "Come on, man, lets get you to bed, ey?" he said to Jake, holding out his free hand. Jake grabbed on to his hand and we walked down the corridor.
"I'm guessing this ones yours? You didn't run in to it before," he questioned, motioning to a door.
"You guessed right," I said, opening it.
Jake ran and leaped on to my bed, snuggling under the quilts as Finn slipped Riley under them. "Have a good sleep, dude," Finn said reaching over to give Jake a hug.
"Will do," Jake answered hugging him back.
"N'Night baby. I'll see you later," I said reaching over to give Jake a kiss and then kissed Riley's cheek. "If you need me, shout."
"Will do" Jake repeated, already adapting Finn's classic smirk after only one day.
Finn and I walked out the room and I sighed. "Oh, you're a bad influence on that boy Finn Hudson."
"What? Why?" He questioned, clearly confused.
"Well, within a day he already has that smirk to a t. I just can't wait for that half smile to come around."
"Oh, that's not my fault miss Rachel Berry," he said, pushing me on to the sofa then sitting next to me.
"Well, I don't need my boys being ladies men like you. There going to be gentlemen," I replied.
"The ladies man who's single eh? Good one," he answered.
"But when was your last relationship, ladies man?" I questioned.
"6 years ago."
His reply was short and swift but meant so much. After all these years, I was his last relationship.
"Lets, erm, watch a film," I said, stunned at his response.
"I agree," he said, still smiling.
We spoke and watched the film until the boys woke up at 6 o'clock. I then cleaned the boys' bedding and Finn ordered us all pizza. We had a pizza night and played a game of cranium: Finn and Riley Vs Me and Jake. It was great although it was mostly just me and Finn playing and Riley and Jake doing the occasional thing as it was hard for them and easy for us.
Finn got up to leave at 9 o'clock, after having tucked the boys in bed with me. They were exhausted having had played with Finn all day and been running around like wild animals.
"Can I come and see you tomorrow?" he asked.
"Erm, no, I'm sorry. I want to see you, don't get me wrong, but I'm having a day with the boys before the erm, the funeral," I responded.
"Oh, that's fine," he answered. "I guess I'll see you at the funeral then. You know, I'll be there for you. At the funeral. Afterwards. Whenever you need me."
I smiled and hugged him. As he went to leave I stopped him and asked for his phone number. He gave it to me before saying one last good bye before leaving and disappearing from my view again.
I text him till I felt like I could finally get to sleep last night.
I don't own anything mentioned in the story.
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