The talk with Dumbledore had left Severus in a foul mood for a long time. 'Old coot sure played dirty', he thought. Even Mort seemed a bit apprehensive about his master. But Severus couldn't help it.
Dumbledore had brought up the exact reason Severus's life went upside down. Old meddlesome coot had to remind him of the day everything changed, the day the world went crazy.
The day Lily had died. The day he became Death.
Sometimes Severus recalled the events without feeling anything at all. Those were the times his feelings were numb. But there were times when the intensity of his pain and his regret seemed too much to bear.
In the Halloween of 1981, Severus rushed to Godric's Hollow after hearing about the Dark Lord's plan to strike down the boy of the prophecy. Severus had told everything he knew to Dumbledore. After all, only that old man could stand up against the Dark Lord. Only Dumbledore could protect Lily.
Except he did not.
Severus still could remember his legs, mechanically taking him to the half-destroyed house, a stench of death in the air. There was a buzz in his ears that had nothing to do with the chilly air of the approaching November. No, his ears were deaf to the world, as if pricking up in the hope of catching the faintest sound of the voice he loved. There was also a rush of blood of his heart, oh, such a traitorous heart, hoping against hope to see Lily still alive.
In the stairs, Severus looked at James, his vacant eyes witnessing the desolation of that house. Severus climbed up the stairs, to the nursery, to the confirmation of what he hoped would not come to pass.
And then Severus's heart shattered in a million pieces.
Lily, his precious Lily, lied dead at the floor, right next to the crib where a child cried his head off. Severus spared no attention to the baby as his shock was so strong that he had to support himself against the nearest wall. But he was unable to keep standing up, because his knees buckled down of their own accord. Next thing he knew, he was on the ground, Lily in his arms, his sweet Lily, and he was weeping, hard and loud, grief pouring through his whole being.
Severus didn't know how long he stood there, trying to make some sense of the world again. All he knew was that the love of his life was dead despite all his efforts, despite all his begging to Dumbledore.
That was why he went straight to the old coot.
'You said you would protect them!'
Dumbledore looked older than ever, but calm. 'They preferred to put their trust in someone else.'
Severus was out of his mind. He could not think straight. 'Gone... Lost...!'
Dumbledore said something about Lily's boy and how the Dark Lord was probably still alive, but Severus didn't stick around to hear him. All he knew was that Lily was dead because he had heard that accursed prophecy and he had told it to the Dark Lord. Severus begged him to spare her, but he realized the Dark Lord didn't consider Lily worth saving because of her Muggle heritage. So he had been to Dumbledore and the old geezer failed. Now he asked for favors? How dare him ask to protect the boy? The boy was the reason his Lily was dead!
Guilt was eating Severus inside as he had never felt before. He began weighing his perspectives.
The Dark Lord was gone, his followers scattered or hiding. Severus needed to keep his wits to stay out of Azkaban, since he could very well be recognized as a Death Eater. The chances of survival were meager and the best ones meant selling himself in an alliance with Dumbledore. Living the rest of his life under the power of the old coot was not something he was willing to contemplate. Severus would still have a master, someone who practically owned him. He had lived such a life under the Dark Lord's leash. He had no reason to believe Dumbledore would be any different. That life would not be worth living.
As a matter of fact, Severus was simply not willing to live anymore.
What would life be like without Lily in it? What would a world be without Lily? Why would Severus have any will to live in a world without Lily?
The answers to these questions were not promising, and he envisioned his perspectives, as a whole, were rather bleak. His poor mother was gone. There was no other family. There were no friends to help, for they would be running as well, and Severus knew there were neither honor nor generosity among his lot. There just was no one to help. He had no one to go.
And the absence of Lily...
It was with great difficulty that Severus faced what he perceived as his only option: self-destruction. The difficulty was that magic provided wizards with even a greater deal of unconscious self-preservation energy. Killing a wizard required tremendous levels of energy, and that was why wizard suicide was practically unheard.
To Severus, however, this immense effort was perfectly desirable and coherent with his desire to die. Sweet oblivion was a purposeful goal to his pitiful existence.
In a moment of vanity, he used a spell of his own design.
'Sectumsempra!'
Blood began pouring out of his body as the terrible effects of curse took hold on him. It wouldn't be long until he was at the point of no return and death welcomed him in her arms.
Severus could take the last moments of his life to contemplate the existence of an afterlife. He didn't believe in that, so he thought it would be better to recall the sweetest moments of his miserable life: the moments spent with Lily. Her red hair, her open smile, her bright soul... It all came back to him, the times they were friends. He was so dark and his life so sad, and Lily was the best thing that ever happened to him. But now she was gone.
If there were an afterlife, he wished he could be near her. However, given his deeds in the life he was about to leave behind, his afterlife destiny hardly rested in paradise.
He could feel his senses already wavering... Maybe it wouldn't be long now.
And then, in the corner of the eye, as he laid dying, he saw a black hood.
A Death Eater.
'They found me,' he thought frantically.
The figure came closer to him, and Severus was so weak he couldn't recognize the man. Even if Severus could recognize the man, he might not be able to call him. He was in a worse state than he thought. His wand was still in his hand, but he wasn't sure if he was able to use it.
The hooded figure had an eerie air around him, and Severus suddenly realized it was no Death Eater. As it was getting nearer him, Severus could see his features - or lack of them.
He saw a skull and a bony face, no flesh or no eyes. Yet the thing was looking directly at him.
In a flash, he understood. That was Death, coming to collect his soul.
That insight made him realize that deep inside he had no desire to die. Given the amount of blood that he lost, though, it might be too late to change his mind.
And Death was coming closer.
Everything was becoming too surreal at that point, and Severus was not sure of the exact succession of events. But he remembered how close Death was to him when, with a last breath, he turned his wand right at his face and pronounced, 'Avada Kedavra!'
The green light hit the skeleton head like a bullet, shattering most of the skull. Death had no chance to survive such a heavy blow and fell down to the floor like a sack full of potatoes. Blood flowed silently in the floor.
To say Severus felt scared was an understatement. Was it true? Was it dead? Had he killed it?
He had killed Death, for Merlin's sake!
The door opened again. A woman in her fifties entered his sitting room, looked at the gruesome scene and said, 'Very well, let's do this.'
Still in shock, Severus whispered, 'I- I killed it... I killed Death!...'
The woman dropped to her knees, intent on examining the body and said, 'That you did, and now you have become Death. Congrats on the new job. Now get up and help me with the cloak, please. We don't want it soaked with blood now, do we?'
She had such an authoritative voice that it didn't occur to Severus not to obey her. But he was caught on something she said. 'What do you mean, I am Death? Who are you?'
Together they were taking the robe off of the corpse. It was a sort of heavy black garment that reeked of magic. The woman didn't stop what she was doing to say, 'I am Fate, you are Death, and I realize you must be overwhelmed right now, but we have no time to lose on chitchat. From now on, you will be the one to guide souls to heaven or hell.'
'I will do what?' Severus had a deep feeling that this, whatever it was, could NOT be happening to him.
'You will guide souls to the afterlife. Please pay attention.'
'Me? Why me?'
The woman talked fast and did not stop what she was doing. 'Because you killed Death. That's how it works. He who kills Death becomes the new Death. Now put the robe on. You are protected whilst wearing it. Nothing can pierce it. You will also be invisible in it. At least to anyone who is not the client, those involved with the client, those truly religious people and some extraordinarily powerful creatures. The garb must be impeccable, including the boots, and you will be indestructible in these. That was why your predecessor met his end: he got careless and didn't fasten his hood. Someday you'll be careless, too, and you will be killed, and there will be a new Death.'
'But why me? I am hardly qualified. Is it a random choice?'
The woman was now measuring his fit on Death's garment. 'It is a good fit. And although I don't believe it is a random thing, as you suggested, I am not prepared to discuss it right now. You will learn it on the job. It is yours until someone kills you.'
'And it probably will happen when I grow old and lose my reflexes.'
She smiled at his innocence. 'Old? Death does not age. Neither does any of us in the other offices. It would not do for an Incarnation of Immortality to age.'
'Incarnation of what?'
'Oh, I see you are a real newbie. Pay attention now. You see, there are five major offices and two grand entities. Death, Fate, Nature, War and Time cooperate with each other and with God and Satan, though answerable to neither. If we do our jobs well, then all is well in the world. We exist in the fringe of the world, making things happen.'
Severus was having a hard time to absorb all this information. His silence was interpreted as consent, as she went on. 'Take off the boots, as well. They are impervious to everything in Nature and they even allow you to walk on water. Nothing can stand between Death and a client.'
'There's no need for that. I believe my wand will serve me better.'
'Oh, great!' she said sardonically. 'A wizard! Were you even listening, wizard? Your life is over. Forget about it. You have no powers anymore. Actually, you are dead to the world. Whoever you were before is dead now. Look. Death is already taking your features.'
Severus looked down and realized, with extreme discomfort, that his body laid on the floor of Spinner's End, half of its face missing. Few things in life could be stranger than the sight of your own dead body right in front of you.
The woman sentenced. 'This life of yours is over.'
'But then how-?'
She was really becoming impatient, and handed him one of the boots. 'There will be other types of magic to allow you to do your job. You better hop on it, though, because all deaths are in a halt until you preside them.'
'All deaths?' Severus went aghast. 'There are more almost 5 billion humans in this planet! I can't possibly preside every death there is! I would have to take several souls in one second or-'
The middle aged lady had no time for his whining and interrupted him harshly. 'You are wasting time! I have arranged only thirty minutes to do this. Let me explain it in all details. Of course you won't preside each and every single death in the planet. Those who are clearly slated for heaven or hell will follow on their merry way to the afterlife without your interference. The problem is when the individual has equal balance of good and bad deeds and thoughts. Only those grey hearts are granted a personal visit from Death.'
Severus was taken aback by the last words. If Death came to him, then… Was he grey in his heart? But he had been a Death Eater, a bad person by definition. He should have gone straight to hell, given the things he had done in the service of the Dark Lord.
Fate must have seen his doubts because her features softened when she reminded him, 'You loved someone and tried to save her life. That counts as good.'
He felt a mix of shame, warmth and regret coursing through his veins. Lily…
'Now let's get moving,' she said. 'The first client you free will release the back log of dying souls. I wish you good luck.'
She moved to the door, but Severus asked, 'Don't leave me! I don't even know how to find my clients!'
'Mort should help you with that.'
'Who is this Mort?'
'Oh, and don't forget the accoutrements.' She pointed to the body. 'There's that watch, the scythe and the other magical things you will need to do the job. I don't know the specifics, but as I told you, Mort will help you get it all sorted.'
Severus stooped down, and with no short amount of disgust to rob his own corpse, began taking off the so-called accoutrements: the watch, an empty pouch, a small case that was way too heavy for such a small object, and not one but two scythes of different sizes, the personal trade mark of the Grim Reaper. He was still unsure what to do.
The woman who was Fate now looked a bit satisfied.
'We will see each other again. Now I have the sad task to tell Chronos about the departure of old Thanatos. He was a great friend of this Death. Good luck on your first day.'
And she went out the door.
Severus was left alone with the dead Death. He had no idea what to do next.