Hey,

Just a quick message to say that it will be a little while before the next update as I'm going to Vegas and LA on holiday for two weeks as of tomorrow! Woop Woop! (I know I cut these things close!)

Meanwhile I hope you enjoy this chapter. The first section was harder to write than I thought it would be, which was why this chapter was so late coming. As always I hope you enjoy and all reviews are welcome. X –Colby'sGirl19

Chapter 3:

*"You know, when I asked you to marry me, and you said no...you were right. I was trying to figure things out, and I really wanted you to decide for me. I know what I want...more than ever. I want to marry you. Will you marry me?" - Don Eppes.

Season 5, Episode 16: Cause and Effect*

Shadowed closely by the others, Don Eppes followed the solemn doctor down the lonely corridor, rigid with fear, rigid with grief. There was a pain inside of him that he couldn't describe, a pain that was beyond any description. It hurt him to think, to breathe, to feel so fucking useless…it just hurt…everywhere. There was an ache in his heart, in his lungs, in his soul and he didn't know what else to do. He wanted to scream, he wanted to weep, he wanted to rewind time. What if she died still? There was just too much they'd left undone, left unsaid, a life planned that they would never get to live. He'd already lost too much that night…how he was even managing to stand and his knees hadn't caved in beneath him he didn't know. He just knew that he needed to be strong, even if it was only externally…for Robin.

"Before you go in," The doctor told the anxious group as he turned to regard Don warily. "I should warn you that due to the injuries your fiancée has sustained she's going to look a little swollen. It's completely normal; we treat by providing the body with extra fluids. The swelling will go down but it can be anywhere between a few days to a couple of weeks. I guarantee though that the swelling isn't permanent…I just thought you should be prepared before going in there because the location of her injuries make the swelling appear a lot worse than it is."

"Thank you doctor," Alan nodded in reply as Don continued to stare through the doctor at the door behind. A few inches of wood, that was all that was keeping him and Robin apart. He could brush the doctor aside and walk right in…so why was he suddenly so afraid to move?

"Ok, well I have rounds to make. I'll be back to look in on Ms Brooks later," The doctor replied as he tucked Robin's chart under his arm and left without so much as a backward glance.

"Don?" Alan asked expectantly but it was Lila who was the first to go charging into the room as Nick and the rookie hung back out of respect for the family.

"I want you to stay here until you're relieved," Nick told the rookie sternly. "I saw reporters downstairs, if any get past security you are to stop them getting near this door."

"Yes sir," The rookie nodded violently as Don followed his father into Robin's hospital room and had to mentally stop himself from crying out as he took in the distressed Lila hovering over her sister's prone body.

"Lila?" Alan asked softly as Don watched Robin's sister sob into the almost unrecognisable handkerchief, her long cherry red hair was coming out of its rough plait and sticking to her face that was streaked with sweat and soot. Yet beneath the grime and teenage rebellion Don could also see Robin's straight nose, her soft lips, her gentle yet proud expression…she was thinner than Robin too, but not by much. She was also smaller but then Robin always had liked her heels, without them Robin's nose would be in line with his mouth and hers with his jaw.

When they were alone she had this way of using his shoulders to lift herself the couple inches until her mouth was on his as his arms wrapped themselves around her waist pulling her closer still. Teasing the corner of his mouth, she would trail a line of kisses down the side of his jaw to his bobbing Adams apple as her body pressed firmly against his with intention...all he wanted was to hold her like that again, to pull her close…to take her pain away…

"She looks so peaceful," Lila remarked between hiccups as Alan placed a comforting arm around her bony shoulders. Don didn't see it personally. He'd seen Robin looking peaceful before…this wasn't it…none of this was right.

"Hey, why don't we go and phone your parents?" Alan asked kindly as he looked at his distraught son over his shoulder before steering Lila back to the door that Don was still holding open, one foot in the room, one foot out.

"What about Robin? I can't leave her," Lila pointed dumbly at her sister as she resisted Alan's gentle pull.

"Trust me," Alan replied quietly as they reached the door and Don stepped into the room out of their way. "The news should come from you. It's what Robin would want. Besides, I'll be there to help you."

"I guess," Lila nodded hesitantly as she took one last glance at the 'peaceful' Robin and let the door swing shut behind them leaving Don alone with his fiancée and suddenly his heart was pounding too fast, his chest too tight…his knees knocking together as he crossed the small room to her bedside.

"Rob?" He asked roughly as his knees finally caved until he was kneeling by her left side, but no reply came save for the release of pressure from the ventilator that was making her chest rise and fall rhythmically. "It's ok," He whispered reassuringly as he reached out and brushed the soft tendrils of her hair away from her swollen face. "I'm here," He told her as he took her small pale hand in his large ones, squeezing it with fear until both their hands turned white. "And I'm not leaving," He promised as he watched her pinched face for any recognition that he was even there. "However long it takes," He nodded as his gaze shifted to the wad of bandages that covered her shoulder and chest beneath the thin hospital gown and spied the painful looking red welts on the side of her neck and jaw that looked like they were trying to escape at the edges of her bandages. "So you rest," Don added softly as he heard someone slip into the room behind him but chose to ignore them. "I will be here when you wake up." He whispered in her ear, his forehead pressed against her temple as the tears slid their way down the rough contours of his unshaven cheeks onto the soft white pillow that was propping up the burned areas. "No matter what, I'm not leaving…I love you…come back to me."

*Break*

Waking suddenly, Karen Hayes sat up straight and looked around the dark room for the source of the noise that had startled her out of sleep, but the room, like her bed, was empty. Heart drumming in her chest, Karen pulled back the curtains of waist length brown hair from her face as she rubbed at her eyes tiredly. Where was El? What time was it?

Hearing the slamming of a car door outside, Karen threw back the quilted blankets and turned to slip her feet into her waiting slippers before grabbing her dressing gown from its hook on the back of the door and pulling it on over her flimsy nightgown, slipped out of the room.

Elliott was already stepping into their small house and brushing his large feet on the dirty welcome matt by the time Karen had made her way to the front of the house. "El?" she asked worriedly. "It's late…where have you been?" Walking up to his tall and slightly hunched frame, Karen smelt the ash and soot before she saw it in the dim glow of the automatic porch light on the other side of the partially glass front door. "What happened?"

"Is Lucas asleep?" Elliott whispered quietly as he let his wife take his hand and guide him into the small but homely living room that was still warm as the last of the fire's dying embers glowed and crackled in the large brick fireplace.

"It's midnight," She chided him gently as she pulled him down next to her on the overstuffed couch. "Of course he's asleep."

"Good…good…" El nodded violently as he bit his lip painfully and pressed his eyes shut tight. "Good."

"El?" Karen asked worriedly, her shrewd eyes wide with fear as her husband took her hand blindly in his and raised it to his soft lips. "You're scaring me…"

"I'm sorry…" Elliott whispered sadly against the back of her hand as he breathed in the scent of her there. "Sorry," He repeated as he opened his eyes and turned to regard her seriously. "There was an explosion at the courthouse; I've been sifting through crap that used to be other crap all day." Placing her hand on his thigh Elliott gestured to his ash and soot stained clothes to emphasise his point.

"An explosion?" She asked numbly as her hand squeezed his thigh with fear. "How many got hurt? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," He reassured her as he placed his hand on hers and patted it comfortingly. "But a lot of people got hurt…twenty died…"

"People you know?"

"Some," He nodded sadly as he remembered the list that Chris had given him earlier that night.

"I'm sorry El," She frowned sadly as she pulled her husband against her and cradled the bulk of him against her ample chest.

"No. I'm sorry I'm home late," He told her sadly as he closed his eyes tiredly once more and just enjoyed the weight of her next to him.

"It's not important," She replied instantly and without hesitation, but Elliott knew his wife and could tell the toll that his increasingly late appearances were having upon her. She shouldn't have to do this alone; his conscience niggled away at him as he took in the signs of his wife and son in the room and tried to fight the fear that one day they could disappear. He was losing them, his attitude and behaviour lately was causing a rift between them…he just didn't know how to snap out of the rut that he had dug himself into since Brian's death.

"I was at the firing range," He explained anyway. "I just needed to shoot the shit out of something…Kaz?"

"Yes?"

"You remember SAIC Don Eppes?" Elliott asked his wife without really knowing why.

"Yes," She whispered softly in his ear as she stroked her fingers through his greying hair.

"His fiancée was amongst the injured…she might not make it…" He told her in the darkness as Karen rested her head against his strong shoulder.

"Do you want to go and check on her tomorrow? I can come with you…my sister will watch Lucas," Karen offered kindly, knowing how her husband felt about the FBI team that had ultimately been the reason for his partner's death.

"No…" He shook his head conflicted. "I have other things to do in the morning, like sorting out other witness's statements and a briefing to attend. Besides…I have a couple rookies on the door, they'll report back on any progress…"

"Then come to bed," Karen whispered enticingly as she stood up and pulled her husband with her. "There's nothing else you can do tonight," She added echoing Chris's words at the crime scene earlier and making Elliott's stomach lurch with guilt once more.

Following her anyway, Elliott let his wife undress him and help him into bed. Though he knew sleep would be impossible, Elliott closed his eyes anyway and pulled his wife into his strong embrace, just content to be able to hold her in his arms as she drifted back to sleep.

*The Next Day*

Drumming his fingers on thighs with impatience, Ian Edgerton scanned the airport's large departures lounge from his carefully picked spot in the corner, not nearly as relaxed as he was pretending to be. His back was too straight, his legs spread wide and his right hand never strayed far from the gun on his hip.

Resting his hand on Ian's, Charlie curled their fingers together until they were interlocked and no longer able to drum. "You don't have to come you know?" Charlie told Ian guiltily for the thousandth time since receiving the news about Robin. "If you're not ready, Don will understand."

"Anyone would think you don't want me to come," Ian smiled mischievously as he let his right hand stray away from the gun long enough to press his palm against Charlie's rough stubbled cheek as his fingers stroked teasingly at the back of Charlie's neck.

"Ian…I'm serious…" Charlie whispered hotly against Ian's wrist as he struggled to remember his train of thought as Ian leaned in closer until only a few inches separated them. "If you're not ready then-"

"-Charlie," Ian chided playfully as he moved his thumb slowly to trace Charlie's lips enticingly. "I love you. Don and Robin are family. Of course I'm coming."

"But…if you're not ready I don't want-"

"Charlie. I'm here ok? I'm not leaving," Ian interrupted forcefully as he dropped his hand to rest on his gun as he turned his face away from Charlie's to scan the crowd once more.

"Ian?" Charlie asked confused but Ian refused to look back.

"They called our flight," Ian replied stonily, refusing to meet Charlie's eyes as he got up, slung his bag across his back and grabbed his coat from the seat next to him.

"Ok," Charlie sighed sadly as he stood up and followed behind Ian who had also grabbed Charlie's carry on and was now headed swiftly towards their gate for boarding without looking back once to make sure Charlie was even keeping up.

Charlie got that Ian was hardly a talk about his feelings kind of guy but that didn't stop it hurting every time Ian shut him out either. One minute he could be so loving, so hot and playful and the next? He would morph into this impenetrable wall. He had blown so hot and cold these past six weeks it was hard for Charlie to keep up. He should be relieved that Ian was coming right? So why was he suddenly so unsure?

Reaching the line to hand their tickets over to board, Ian sighed and turned around to face Charlie at last. "I'm sorry ok?" Ian whispered remorsefully as he took Charlie's hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze of apology. "I'm ready, I am…it's just going to be hard is all. Ok?"

"Ok," Charlie smiled weakly, biting his tongue to avoid another argument as Ian handed the stewardess their tickets. "Let's just get home. Ok?" He told Ian, dropping his hand as he boarded the plane, this time leaving it to Ian to keep up.

*Break*

Jolting awake, his mind still thick with sleep, Don Eppes pulled his gun from its holster and pointed it in the direction of the noise that had awoken him. "Shit!" The young doctor screamed out with shock as he flung his hands up in surrender making the coffee in his hand spill out, staining the lapels of his white coat. "Don't shoot!"

"Don?" Lila asked confused from the corner of the room where she had made herself a makeshift bed from a couple of armchairs and her and Don's coats. As a student Don presumed she was used to sleeping in random places and it hadn't taken her long to soon pass out the night before, finding temporary relief from the hell of the day in her dreams.

"Sorry!" Don mumbled apologetically as he looked from the tousled and sleepy Lila to the tall and very still doctor before realising that he was still pointing his gun. "I'm sorry," He repeated as he lowered his arm and dropped the gun onto the hospital bed's stiff mattress next to Robin's thigh before dropping his tired face into his shaking hands and tried to scrub away the memory of the nightmares that had chased him long into the night and into the early hours of the morning. To say that he had not found relief in his dreams was an understatement!

"It's ok," The doctor replied understandingly as he shakily approached the hunched FBI agent with caution and held out the slightly less filled coffee cup. "A nurse thought you might need a coffee," He added as way of explanation for his sudden appearance. "I was coming to check on Ms Brooks anyway," He shrugged as if it was nothing, though Don suspected that the intern was just embarrassed that he was taking orders from a nurse and wondered just how formidable this one must be to make the intern who looked like he could have been the all-star quarterback of a high school football team do her bidding.

"I'm sorry," Don shook his head in apology, "But I don't feel like coffee…"

"Oh…that's ok," The intern replied hesitantly as he placed the still dripping coffee cup on the hospital table at the foot of Robin's bed unsure what else to do with it. "I'll get rid of it in a sec…" He added stoically as he took the chart from the tray on the end of Robin's bed and gave it a once over before turning to the equipment next to her bed and scrawled something down.

"How is she?" Lila asked quietly, her voice shaking as she held Don's long black coat up under her chin. She reminded Don of a small child as she turned her large brown Disneyesque eyes on the unprepared intern who looked unsure how to respond. Even with her face devoid of makeup and scarlet hair mussed Lila looked beautiful, much like her sister whose long brown hair was currently fanned out across the bright white pillow around her head like a halo, though Robin would be the first to admit that she was no angel.

"There isn't much change I'm afraid," He replied making Don wince internally…why had he expected differently? Why had he let himself hope? He could see for himself that nothing had changed in the few hours he'd been asleep. Sometimes he had to remind himself that he was no longer dreaming, this was the real world. Miracles don't happen here. "Her breathing has improved a little! Though still not enough to remove her from the ventilator…" The guy offered lamely in reply as he dropped the chart back into its tray and made a b-line straight for the door, desperate to be anywhere else.

Knowing that the situation was hopeless and knowing that he was helpless anyway; Don let the young man leave and turned instead to his fiancée. Her breathing was improving. It was only a small thing but Don would take it. Hell he'd take anything right now if it could be considered a sign of improvement!

"He left the coffee…" Lila replied sadly and a little sleepily as she stared at the coffee as if she unsure why it was even there.

"Why not give it to the police officer outside," Don told her gently, worried she might start crying again as she got up and moved over to the stained coffee cup and picked it up. "He's been here all night…he could probably do with one anyway…"

"Ok…" She nodded dumbly, still a little dazed from the night before. Don wondered if he also looked as dazed, as afraid…as lost…he supposed he probably did…

"Rob," Don whispered to Robin when Lila had finally closed the door behind her. "Don't you worry about what that intern thinks, I mean he's practically a child! Probably doesn't even know which end of a stethoscope to use...you're doing just fine! Do you hear me? You just concentrate on getting better and let me figure out the rest...ok?" Figure out the rest? Who was he kidding? There was no 'rest' without Robin…

Dropping his gaze to his service weapon by Robin's side, Don sighed with regret. He needed to get a grip, Robin needed him to be strong for her. This wasn't him being strong. He needed to do better, he needed to be better.

"I'm still here…do you hear me?" Don whispered frustratedly as he clutched her hand in his once more. "Remember, I'm right here and I'm as stubborn as you are so I'm not leaving until you're better. So the way I see it you don't really have a choice…ok? Ok…good." Holstering his weapon once more, Don gave Robin's hand a gentle squeeze as he leaned in and brushed his lips against her temple. She was going to be ok…he had faith. "You're going to be just fine."

Dear God don't make me a liar…

*Break*

Locking his car and rushing over to the precinct's basement elevator, detective Christopher Morrison called out for the lift to be held as he only just sprinted fast enough to slip through the crack before the metal doors clamped shut behind him.

"Thank you sir," Chris puffed heavily as he bent over and rested his hands on his knees until he had regained his breath.

"You ok Morrison?" The captain laughed affectionately as he patted the young detective on the back.

"Uh huh," Chris laughed back as he stood up and squeezed at the stich in his side. It wasn't that he was unfit; he'd just sprinted from the other end of the car park because he was running that late…but then if the Captain was only just arriving maybe it didn't count…or at least he hoped so. Elliott would probably be pissed though, unfortunately that was inevitable these days as far as Chris was concerned. He could only imagine the scowl that Elliott would be wearing on his unshaven and tired looking face; his suit dishevelled even though it was only eight am and his tie hanging loose as the older detective rested his feet on his strong, slightly cluttered desk, leaning back in his old wooden desk chair. Elliott had always reminded Chris of a nineteen twenties private eye or one of those old film noire detectives, the only thing Elliott was missing was the matching hat, which was odd because there was one hanging on the coat stand just behind Elliott's desk. He just never wore it and got touché if Chris ever went near it or even looked at it wrong...

"How's homicide treating you?" The captain asked mildly but Chris could hear the hidden subtext behind the question. The captain really wanted to know how Elliott was treating him, which was a bit of a loaded question. Chris knew that he was Elliott's third partner since the death of Detective Hamilton; he also knew that the captain had issued a 'three strikes' and you're out policy as far as El was concerned. Screw up this time and El could find himself facing suspension.

"Fine sir, just fine," Chris lied easily as he looked to the numbers above the door and pleaded with them to change faster.

"…And detective Hayes?" The captain asked again, this time just coming right out with it and making Chris wish he had just waited for the next elevator, lateness be damned.

"Elliott is a fantastic detective," Chris replied firmly with conviction, he was certainly a legend within the department as far as numbers went. He'd just fallen on hard times lately. Chris wasn't going to persecute El for that, even if the other detectives did, even if it meant Chris had to put up with the constant mood swings…and the insults…and the other detectives taking odds on when El would make Chris cry, yeah…he knew about that… "I'm lucky to learn from the best."

"Yes…" The captain nodded uncertainly making Chris shift his gaze with interest from the increasing numbers above the door to look at the captain through slanted eyes. "If anything changes I want to be informed immediately. Understood?"

"Of course sir," Chris nodded as the metal doors slid open to a busy and packed department.

"And Morrison," The captain added, as Chris started to make his way through the throng of people to his desk.

"Sir?" Chris asked as he turned back to the captain who stood one foot in his office one foot out as he rested his hand uncertainly upon the door handle.

"You're being loyal to detective Hayes, which is generous considering…but I'm serious about you coming to me. It may seem unfair but at the end of the day the department comes first, people's safety needs to come first."

"Of course," Chris replied hesitantly as the captain entered his office and shut the door firmly behind him.

"Morrison! You're late!" Elliott boomed over the heads of the chattering crowd as he waved the young detective over.

"What's going on?" Chris asked guiltily as he took off his jacket and laid it over the back of his chair. "What are these people doing here?"

"Being interviewed," Elliott replied gruffly as a couple detectives came out of interrogation and handed Elliott their reports before waving the next couple of people through.

"Are they the bomb vic's?" Chris asked bewildered. It was early, how had Elliott arranged all of this? When had Elliott arranged all of this?

"No, their applying to become detectives," Elliott sneered as Chris sat down and reached across his own desk to take the reports from El's. "Of course they're the bomb vic's."

"And you're interviewing all of them? Now?" Chris asked as he ignored the old detective's tone.

"Witnesses are unreliable at the best of times and untrustworthy the rest of the time," Elliott replied, parroting his father's old saying as he took the reports back and crossed off the names that corresponded to the list that Chris had given detective Hayes the day before. "Every time a witness retells their story it changes, they tell their love ones and it gets embellished to the point where the witness can no longer differentiate between what they made up and what actually happened. So yeah, I'm interviewing them all now. Pick a vic and jump right in, there's still plenty to get statements from."

"Of course," Chris nodded as he bit his tongue and tried to ignore the lecture. Elliott was in a particularly bad mood this morning, and Chris was just relieved to have an excuse to get out of El's way for the time being.

"Oh, and Morrison," Elliott added, looking up from his reports as Chris started to walk away. "I've pushed the briefing back to this afternoon so when you're done helping here I want you to check in with the officer at the hospital. Ms Brooks is our prime witness…I want a full report on her condition." Sliding his eyes away, his Adam's apple bobbling with suppressed emotion, Elliott dismissed his young partner with the flick of a wrist and returned to his work.

*Break*

"You came back," She smiled menacingly, baring her teeth as she crawled closer to his semi-naked body. "I knew you would," She whispered teasingly as her hand stroked playfully down the long cut that ran from his eyebrow to his chin before moving to his neck and torso, then further south to the waistband of the incredible tight trousers she had dressed him in earlier.

"Did I have a choice?" Ian whispered bitterly as she stroked him there, gaining momentum but gaining no reaction.

"There is always a choice," she pouted disappointedly as she rocked back onto her heels and watched as he shuffled into a sitting position, which wasn't easy considering he was chained to the radiator with his own handcuffs.

"Did it hurt?" She smiled cruelly as she watched him wince from the pain that was radiating in his wrists up to his aching shoulders as she pressed down hard on the fresh bullet wound in his shoulder.

"I've had worse," Ian laughed angrily as he shook off her touch and relished in the flash of anger to break her steely composure.

"Well then…I hope that you can forgive me," Debbie Harris whispered tauntingly as she leaned in close to his ear and kissed him on the corner of his jaw.

"What did you say?" Ian replied harshly as the long strands of her hair fell forwards and tickled his chest.

"You know what I said Julian…'Sana mapatawad mo ako'…"

"Mother?" Ian hissed confused as the woman hugging him leaned back on her heels once more but it was no longer the LA child snatcher but the woman who had abandoned him when he was only five years old. "I waited for you…" He told her angrily as she smiled at him fondly, her hand snaking its way down his chest as if playing connect the dots with all of his scars.

"Not long enough," She bit back angrily, slapping him hard across the face so that the cut down the side of his face opened up once more.

"Well then…I hope that you can forgive me," Ian sneered angrily, his teeth stained red as blood ran down his cheeks into his mouth and onto his bare chest.

"Pardon?" She shouted angrily as she slapped him once more. "What did you say?"

"You know what I said mother…'Sana mapatawad mo ako'…" Ian replied sarcastically, laughing cruelly until she was standing over him, beating him until everything else faded away to black and all he could remember was the pain and the metallic taste it left in his mouth…

"Ian?" Charlie asked worriedly as Ian flung his eyes open and scrabbled with his seat belt before launching himself down the plane's narrow isle to the empty toilet at the end of the row of seats. "Ian!" Charlie shouted again as he also scrambled with his seatbelt before flinging himself down the small isle. "What's wrong? What's the matter? Come on Ian," Charlie shouted as he beat on the plane's toilet's thin door. "Open up…IAN?"

"Go away Charlie," Ian called back through the door as he flushed away the evidence that he had been sick.

"You know I won't," Charlie replied stubbornly as he leaned against the wall and waited for Ian to open the door. "I'll camp out here until the end of the flight if I have to!"

Watching with satisfaction, Charlie waited until the lock had finished changing from 'occupied' to 'empty' before pushing the small door in to reveal Ian with his back against the wall, his face pale and his usually steady hands shaking. "Ian," He whispered comfortingly as he stepped inside, shut the door and locked it once more.

"You know I had a fantasy that went a lot like this once," Ian smiled crookedly as he raised a suggestive eyebrow and reached out to pull Charlie close.

"Don't," Charlie sighed as he stepped back out of Ian's reach and rested his back against the opposite wall. In the small space only half a meter actually separated them and yet in Charlie's opinion it might as well have been the Grand Canyon, Ian was that closed off. "I want to know what happened back there."

"I had a bad dream," Ian shrugged as if it was nothing, but Charlie could tell by the way Ian was avoiding his gaze that it had meant everything.

"A nightmare?" He shook his head confused. Ian hadn't mentioned anything before about nightmares…not that he had actually slept that much in the past six weeks.

"It was nothing," Ian replied as he crossed his arms guardedly, his tone challenging.

"Was it to do with…what happened?" Charlie asked as delicately as he knew how, he wanted Ian to open up but could see that Ian was already suppressing his emotions, pushing them down further and further until he was the irrepressible and carefree agent Edgerton once more.

"No…yes…sort of," Ian replied angrily, but his anger was not directed at Charlie. "I was back there…in that room and then my mother was there…"

"Your mother?" Charlie asked confused as Ian raked his long slender fingers through his black hair and scratched at the back of his head. Charlie knew that he'd had a rough time in foster care but Ian had never offered any information about his birth mother before.

"It was just part of a memory from my childhood…" Ian shrugged again, this time a little defeatedly. "When Debbie was holding me in that room…it brought back the memory of my mother abandoning me at some youth center when I was five…this is the first time the nightmare and the memory have merged."

"How often do you have these nightmares?" Charlie shook his head disappointedly, why hadn't Ian just let him in before?

"Too often…" Ian looked down ashamed. This wasn't him. He was the breeze past it and move on guy. He had no worries, concerns or burdens…but these days it was like the world was weighing him down. He couldn't move on because he was stuck there, in that tiny room where the only light was from a dying cell phone that he'd had to press with his toes to get to flash back up again.

"Ian," Charlie sighed his name sadly as he moved the half a meter to stand inches from Ian before he finally took him in his arms and held him there as Ian breathed in the slightly chalky scent of him.

"It's fine," Ian whispered as he pulled back enough to look Charlie in his beautifully warm brown eyes. "As soon as we get to LA I'll get a new doctor Telford and hopefully they'll help me move on."

"I'm sure they will," Charlie smiled back, more positive than he actually felt.

"In the meantime," Ian replied as he leaned in to cuddle Charlie once more, his hand slipping into those long brown curls of his, "I really do have a fantasy that goes a lot like this…" Kissing Charlie deeply, Ian pushed him gently until Charlie's back was against the wall once more as they suddenly became a desperate tangle of hands and clothes fighting in a small space as they both tried to comfort and satisfy the other first.

*Break*

Standing up as the nurse slowly backed into Robin's hospital room, Don walked over and held the door open as she pulled a trolley loaded with bandages and salves through.

"What's all this for?" Lila asked confused as she and Alan both stood up from their seats in the corner of the room and joined Don as he moved back over to Robin's side.

"We need to change the dressing," The nurse nodded at the giant wad of bandages over Robin's shoulder as the young intern from before entered the room closely followed by agent Colby Granger, who had turned up earlier and had since gone to fetch coffee whenever Don asked.

"With burn patients the risk of infection is a high one, we need to wash the wound and change the bandages twice a day, when Ms brooks is strong enough we will take her to our admission room to change her bandages but for now here will do," The intern explained patiently as Colby put the two coffee's on the bureau by Robin's head.

"You might want to wait outside while we do this," The plump nurse told them all kindly as Alan promptly steered a complaining Lila outside.

"I've seen worse," Don told her harshly as Alan finished wrestling Robin's sister from the room.

"Not on the woman you love you haven't," She replied respectfully as Colby clamped a supportive hand down on Don's shoulder.

"There's no weakness in waiting outside," Colby told him gently in his gruff voice.

"I told her I'm not leaving," Don whispered uncertainly as he looked down at his unconscious fiancée and winced.

"We're staying," Colby told the nurse and intern without hesitation, an authoritative firmness to his voice that hadn't been there before.

"Thanks," Don whispered gratefully to Colby as they both stepped back to let the nurse and intern get on with it. He'd made a vow to be stronger for Robin, and that was just what he was going to be.