A/N: Sorry it has taken so long to update. I finally finished another quarter of school and am able to do something non-academic related. =)

A/N 2: Okay, since it has been sooooo long since I last updated here is a quick summary of what has happened so far:

John and Lorne were training some of the new recruits on Atlantis in flying jumpers when John's jumper crashed. John knew it wasn't his fault, but Elizabeth thought it was at first. Then, right before she was going to tell him that she did believe him, there was a power spike on Atlantis. John and Rodney went to figure out what was happening in a lab and while they were in the lab there was an explosion.

John was hurt badly and had to have surgery. Afterwards, John and Rodney were talking together in the infirmary when suddenly John started having trouble breathing! Rodney freaks out and then everyone is trying to figure out what is going on as John's condition worsens and everyone thinks he might die. Rodney in an effort to get his mind off of things is searches through data on the explosion and comes to a startling and terrifying conclusion: It was NOT an accident!

He lets everyone know that someone is trying to kill John and they realize that John probably was poisoned. Still, they don't want to tip off whoever is trying to kill John that they are on to him and they want to lull him into a false sense of security so they make everyone think that John is under suspicion for the explosion. Carson finally figures out exactly what John was poisoned with and he slowly begins to recover. John talks with Rodney and discovers exactly what has been going on and that leads us to where we are now…

Chapter 8:

Rodney, with his laptop in his lap, sat by John's bed as John quietly slept. Supposedly Rodney was working on trying to figure out which of his men were the most likely to be trying to kill Sheppard, and if anyone asked that is exactly what he would tell them he was doing, but mainly he found himself watching John as he slept. For so long, whenever Rodney had seen John 'sleeping' John had also been burning with fever and crying out as pain and terrors tormented him. So, to see John sleeping peacefully without fever ravaging his body was a sight that Rodney was having a hard time looking way from.

Although, it had been a week from when the fever had finally broken and Rodney was ready to see John lucid and conscious again. Carson said it was a good thing that John was sleeping most of the time; that his body desperately needed the rest, but Rodney couldn't help wishing that John was already awake and one hundred percent.

Yeah, so patience wasn't his strong suit.

Sighing, Rodney looked back to his computer. On the screen he had the list of names of all his scientists, but he had already gone over every man and woman with a fine tooth comb and though he had been reminded of how imbecilic many of them were, he was no closer to figuring out which one of them could be responsible for the attacks on John.

Setting down his computer, Rodney stood up and stretched. His back cracking after all the hours he had been sitting in the hard backed chair that Carson had placed in John's room.

He glanced at his watch and was reminded just how much time had passed since he had last eaten—and more importantly—drunken coffee. He looked down at John one more time, watching his chest gently rise and fall as he took in life-giving air. Rodney's mind flashed back to when he had seen John gasping for air after his surgery. John had supposedly been fine, but then he hadn't been able to breathe. John had been talking as coherently as he ever did, but then the next thing Rodney knew, John's every word had been a struggle.

Shaking his head to remove the images Rodney found himself sitting back down by John's bed and grabbing his laptop again. He just couldn't find the will power to leave John right now, the images of him going from fine to dying in a heartbeat too fresh in his mind.

Opening his laptop he once again began to compare the skills of his scientists with those that would have been needed in the attempts on John's life hoping that he would have a breakthrough and finally discover who had tried to kill his best friend.

SGA

John found himself in the middle of a dark, swirling mist, so thick he couldn't see his hand in front of his face. He felt his heart rate speed up; he hated not being able to see, to be about control, and to have no idea what he could do. 'Think John' he muttered to himself as he tried to figure out what he should do to get out of the oppressive mist. Suddenly, he saw Elizabeth standing in front of him looking stern and angry and lit seemingly by a sharp light emitting from inside her.

Swallowing, John tried to say "Elizabeth". His voice caught and he tried again trying to ignore his apprehension

"Elizabeth".

"Colonel Shepherd".

"Ummm...do you know where we are?"

"Colonel Shepherd, I expected better from you!"

"What?"

"I mean Rodney told me that you had horrible direction, but as the military commander on Atlantis I expected you to at least try to be responsible but if you can't even keep track of where you are how can you possibly be responsible for all of Atlantis?"

"Wait…what? I have no idea how I got here, so how could I know where we are?"

"Exactly! You should know these things. If you were truly worthy to be commander you would know this!"

John felt his head spin and his headache flare as he tried to understand how not knowing where he was, meant he shouldn't be the commander of Atlantis, but before his sluggish thinking could sort it out, he was being bombarded with accusations.

"You're such a failure and violent man! We're supposed to be on a scientific expedition, yet in the first few days you were on Atlantis, you kill the man who was meant to be the commanding officer and wake the wraith; starting a war! Then you kill 50 men from a nation that could have been an ally if you hadn't woken the wraith! I hate having you on Atlantis! In fact, you know what; I think I'm going to have you removed from Atlantis."

"What?!" John said in shock and horror as his confused and muddled mind tried to translate what exactly she said as it couldn't be what it sounded like.

"Goodbye" she said as she began to drift away her light fading with her.

"Wait!" John shouted terrified at the idea of being left along in the mist that seemed to be suffocating him. John tried to follow her in the hope that no matter how disappointed and mad she might be with him she could lead him out of…well wherever here is.

Yet, she disappeared before he got close as it felt like he was wading through mud—sadly an experience he actually had had. He felt this panic growing and oxygen didn't seem to be filling his lungs, what little vision he had began to fade, his heart was hammering in his chest and he felt like he was about to collapse.

John jackknifed up in his bed in the infirmary causing his side to scream in pain as sweat poured off his body and his chest heaved trying to draw in life giving air. Trying to calm himself he focused on he repetitive something sounds of the various monitors in the room.

John felt his panic slowly recede as he took in the fact he wasn't in the mist, but was safe on Atlantis. The room was softly illuminated by the medical equipment and John found himself thankful for their light. He sighed and carefully lay back trying to ease the pain in his side.

John glanced around and saw to his surprise that he had been so caught up in his own fears and anxieties that he had entirely missed the presence of Carson who he now realized was talking to him in a soothing voice as he injected, what John assumed was, pain killers into his IV port.

"Care ta tell me what this dream was about?"

"Not really," John replied tiredly already trying to block the very memory of it.

"Ack, I figured as much."

They both fell silent as Carson got John a cup of cool, soothing water. As John drank it, he found his mind considering the present tension between him and Elizabeth. It was true that he had been told that Elizabeth no longer thought he was at all responsible for the jumper crash or subsequent explosion, and after a lot of badgering he had even discovered that the reason she hadn't been to see him was Carson's doing, for as Carson put it, "Seeing Elizabeth right now would cause ta much stress for ye, just know she's on yer side and now eat the broth!"

Yet, that had been a few days ago and there was no way John was going to leave things at that and let people baby him any longer. He needed to face Elizabeth himself. He knew that until it was resolved one way or the other there was no way he'd stop having nightmares about it and he desperately desired to not wake up in the middle of the night with a racing heart and a sweat covered pillow as adrenalin flooded his system at the idea of Elizabeth locking him in the brig.

"Carson."

"Yeah, John?"

"If Elizabeth is willing to see me, I want to be able to see her."

"John that's not such a great idea. Ye'r still weak and that would be a lot of stress put on your system. I think ye should wait a we bit longer."

"No, Carson. I'm tired of you treating me like I can't handle it. I can handle it," John said with a firm look meeting Carson's gaze head on. After a moment, he added with a wry smile, "besides, I think the stress of not just talking with her is a lot worse than just getting it over with and talking to her."

"Are ye sure John?"

"Yes."

Sighing, Carson muttered, "Stubborn fool," not particularly caring that John could hear him. "Fine, I'll let her know tamorrow. Now, try ta sleep."

John nodded. His body was exhausted and winning even the small battle with Carson had sapped what little energy he had. John felt his eyes close as the adrenalin left his body and he fell asleep with a quiet brogue telling him everything would be all right.

SGA

Elizabeth took a deep breath before entering the room John was in. She hadn't seen him awake and cognizant since he had run off to the lab and she hoped that John would listen to what she had to say, not that she had listened to him, her guilty consciousness reprimanded.

Elizabeth knew John was aware of the fact that she no longer doubted him, but Elizabeth desperately wanted to apologize to him and let him know that even before the power spike she had realized she trusted him and believed him, not that that lessened her culpability, but it might make him slightly more open to listening to her pleas of forgiveness.

"Hi, John," she said with a false calm as she unclenched her sweaty palms. "Carson says you're getting stronger."

John, who had tensed when she entered the room and looked as if he would have stood at attention if only his body would have let him, replied evenly enough, "I am. In fact, I'm ready to get out of here."

Nodding, Elizabeth chose not to comment on the fact that both of them knew Carson thought John was in no way ready to be released and this was the first day that he had even been allowed to sit up for longer than an hour at a time. Instead she asked, unable to completely hide the waver in her voice, "May I talk with you for a moment?"

"Sure" John said slowly clearly bracing himself for what Elizabeth was going to say.

Wanting to release the tension that was almost palpable in the room, Elizabeth plunged in. "I'm sorry John." John's eyes widened clearly surprised by her apology and Elizabeth felt her guilt grow at his astonishment and rushed forward unable to look him in the eye, "I should have trusted you and believed you from the beginning and I know nothing I say can excuse the fact I didn't, but I need to say sorry and let you know you are the finest military leader that could be here and I'm beyond grateful that it is you I have been serving with these past years."

Raising her eyes to see John's face she could not tell what emotions lay behind his mask, but felt his piercing hazel eyes penetrate her and she forced herself to continue. "I know you probably won't believe this and I don't blame you for that in the slightest, but I want you to know, I chose to believe you about the jumper crash even before we knew someone was trying to kill you. Actually, it was at our meeting right before the power spike that I realized you've never lied to me before or given me reason to doubt you, and I needed to trust you then, late though it was."

She paused for a moment taking a deep breath and then went on, feeling the words began to flow out of her as if in a torrential river. "John, I'm so sorry for doubting you in the beginning. You deserve my trust and I didn't give it to you. You have done so much not only for Atlantis, but me personally, yet I refused to believe what you told me. Not only that; I didn't make sure you were okay after the crash. I should have sent you to the infirmary immediately to get checked out, but I didn't; instead, I got angry with you and you almost died because of that choice!"

John who had been silent up to that point broke in, "Elizabeth, I know I should have gone to the infirmary, yet I didn't want to, so I didn't go. That was my choice, my decision, my mistake, not yours. I'm not a child and it's not your job to make sure the military commander of this base such as he is, goes to get medical attention if he needs it."

"No, John, though I won't deny you should have gone to the infirmary on your own and I certainly expect you to do so in the future if there is the slightest chance you're hurt, but I know I am also at fault. If it was anyone else under me I would have made sure they went to the infirmary and got checked over and I know one of the reasons you chose not to go was my actions after the crash."

Unable to deny her last point John looked away and Elizabeth feeling just short of pond-scum forced herself to go on. "John, you have to understand, when the jumper crashed I was terrified that you had died. Until you opened the jumper I wondered if after all the suicide missions and close calls you've had, you had just died in a training exercise on Atlantis. That—that idea made me so angry and since there was no apparent reason for it, I automatically assumed you had been showing off and that very idea made me furious. I couldn't stand the thought that you had risked your life to beat Major Lorne in a race."

Elizabeth took a deep breath. "I'm sorry John for not believing you and getting angry at you, you deserved better than that. You have proven yourself worthy of trust more times than I can count and I apologize for not trusting you this time. I know it might not mean much, but let me assure you that next time I will believe you from the beginning. Can you forgive me?"

Elizabeth held her breath waiting for John's response, hoping that she'd be forgiven while at the same time knowing she didn't deserve it.

Slowly, clearly not wanting to give her a flippant answer, John said meeting her eyes, "I couldn't very well expect you to forgive the mistakes I make if I'm not willing to do the same for you, so yes, Elizabeth, I forgive you."

Elizabeth felt her face break into a smile as the weight she had been carrying melted away. Despite the fact John was still in the infirmary and someone was trying to kill John, Elizabeth felt her entire outlook on life brighten. She still felt guilty, but knowing that she hadn't permanently injured her friendship with John made her heart feel like singing. Though she was sure it would not be fixed right away, she knew that this was the most important step to removing the tension and doubt between them and when they were together Elizabeth knew they could face whatever was coming.

In many ways, John's thoughts echoed hers. Armed with the knowledge Elizabeth had decided to believe him regardless of how it looked even before it had been discovered that the jumper crash had been attempt to kill him, made John feel like he could do anything.

Ever since the crash, his mind had constantly been reminding him that no commanding officer would ever trust him. He had only needed to look at his past for a plethora of examples. From North Korea to Afghanistan, from the U.S. to Antarctica, he had plenty of occasions were for one reason or another his CO totally brushed him off, ignoring what he had to say, disbelieving him, and in a few cases outright trying to make his life miserable. On Atlantis, he had finally begun to feel at home and not think that everyone was constantly waiting for him to screw up, but ever since the crash his mind had been hammering home the fact that everyone only saw him as a screw up.

Yet, Elizabeth said she trusted him. She had chosen to trust him despite what the evidence implied. Sure, she hadn't originally believed him, and he still wasn't entirely happy about that fact, but when it came down to it, she had made the decision to trust him and that's what mattered in John's book.

He had learned from his experience with Rodney after Rodney had blown up a solar system that he couldn't hold grudges against his teammates—his family. It had almost destroyed both Rodney and he when he did, and John didn't want to make the same mistake with Elizabeth.

John was interrupted from his thoughts as Elizabeth's radio buzzed, making him remember that he was bereft of his own. He listened as she told whoever that she would be there shortly. She started heading towards the door, but stopped and turned around coming back towards John.

"Listen, John, I know that Rodney has told you what we know about whoever is trying to kill you, and I want to ask that you'll be careful. John, I hate how close we always come to losing you and I—I can't risk losing you again. I know you want to catch whoever is after you, and I do to, but, just—just don't take any unnecessary risks, please."

John swallowed at the thick emotion that he saw in Elizabeth's face even as he knew his answer wasn't exactly what she would want to hear. "Elizabeth, I can't stop being who I am and I don't want to risk anyone else getting hurt in his attempts on my life."

"I know, just—please be careful. Everyone on Atlantis needs you—I need you."

"I'll do my best, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth gave him a searching look before slowly leaving the room. John sighed. He promised Elizabeth would do his best to stay safe, but there was no way he was going to allow whoever was after him a chance to hurt anyone else on Atlantis.

SGA

It was three days since John had first talked with Elizabeth and though he had tried to be patient both with Carson and his slowly healing body, the more time that passed the more worried he became that the person would strike again and someone else would get caught in the crossfire, which led to the current argument he was having with Carson.

"John, there is no way I am releasing ye to yer room! Ye are in no condition to be on your own!"

"I wouldn't be on my own, a guard would be posted at the door and you and the rest of my team could check on me periodically, and I'd have my radio if I needed help for any reason."

"John yer body has been through a lot, for crying out loud right after ye had major surgery ye were poisoned!"

"I'm doing a lot better. You said it yourself that I'm on the mend."

"On the mend yes, mended no."

"Come on Carson, I'll just be lying in my bed the same as I'm doing here."

"Aye, but here not only am I closer by, but there is also proper medical equipment in case something goes wrong."

"Doc, listen nothing's going to go wrong."

"Famous last words."

"Alright, Carson, I'll admit I'm still not feeling 100%—" at Carson's snort John continued "—okay so it's more like 75%" Carson snorted at that as well and John gave him a disgruntled look before going on, "anyhow, under normal circumstances, I might—might, mind you, think it might be a good idea for me to stay in the infirmary for a bit longer, but be that as it may, these are not normal circumstances and I have no intention of putting the lives or health of others at risk by staying here. Seriously, people who are inured and medical personnel are the people I least want to get caught in the crossfire if the guy or gal comes after me again."

"But John, we have ye in private room now and a guard watching ye, so the risk to others is minimal."

"Not minimal enough. Carson, no offence, but the infirmary is NOT the most secure location and I will not risk other people's lives just so I can be under closer medical supervision, not when the risk would be considerably less in my room."

"Aye, but keep in mind the perpetrator has only done things when the risk to others was minimal. I'm afraid that if ye're in yer quarters he will be more likely ta strike and John yer body needs rest. I'm not sure how well it will cope if another 'accident' occurs right now. If I release ye to yer quarters the odds of another attack against ye go up and yer body does not need ta deal with that right now."

"Carson, I understand what you're saying, but this perpetrator may be getting desperate and be ready to take bigger risks, risks that could endanger the lives of the others in this infirmary and I will not say here and take that risk. So here's your choice Carson you can either let me go to my room or you can restrain my, because unless you do I'll get there myself against your orders."

"Yer a bloody fool ye know! If ye want ta risk yer life and health, don' let me keep ye. I'll release ye ta yer room, but yer going ta follow my directions ta the letter or ye'll be back here even if I do have ta use restraints."

"Thanks Carson," John replied with a smile, carefully collapsing against the pillows. Arguing with Carson took a lot of energy and energy was something John was in short supply of. In fact, John was willing to admit to himself that if it wasn't for the risk his remaining in the infirmary was causing others, he would have no intention of getting released yet.

As much as he disliked being in the infirmary, John wasn't a fool and knew there were times when he needed to be in the infirmary, so he could get back up to optimum health quicker. This would normally have been one of the times, were he whined about being stuck in the infirmary more out of habit and to see the look of incredulity on Carson's face, not to actually get out. Yet, John felt his stomach turn at the idea of his assailant attacking him in the infirmary were so many others were at risk. Not just any others, John added mentally, but the sick, wounded, and medical personnel. There was no way John was going to let himself getting a bit better care put those people at risk.

So, John carefully hid the exhaustion and pain to make sure Carson didn't know how bad he was feeling. Although, John thought wryly as he heard the Scott muttering to himself, Carson probably had an excellent idea at just how miserable John's body was still feeling.

Sighing, John closed his eyes for just a moment and to his surprise when he opened them Carson was hovering over him with a look of concern on his face. "John are ye sure yer up ta this?"

"Of course, I am!" John said disgruntled, ignoring the fact he had dozed off for a moment. "I just got bored waiting for you. So, what are your rules this time?"

"For one, the only time ye're ta walk is when yer going ta yer bathroom and then back ta bed. Yer not ta take a shower unless someone is with ye and if ye have the slightest problem, yer to bloody well contact someone immediately!"

"Understood" John said with a mock salute.

"Aye, it better be. Now remember ta take yer medicine and follow the rules I always give ye or ye'll be back here before ye can blink."

At the look of worry and apprehension on Carson's face, John said seriously, "I'll do everything you said, Carson. Don't worry about it. I'll be good."

Sighing Carson said, "Aye, I'm sure ye will. Just remember if it wasn't for these…circumstances…there's no way ye'd be back in yer quarters, so don' push yerself."

John nodded and then looked up as Ronon walked over. "You my escort?" he asked with a grin.

"Yeah, you ready?"

"Carson?"

"Aye, ye can go. Just remember what I said."

SGA

Ronon pushed John in the wheelchair, John had reluctantly agreed to sit in, as quickly as he could while still providing a smooth journey. He knew John hated being in wheelchairs and having people see him in them on the best of days and this certainly wasn't the best of days.

Not only was John being released to his room much sooner than was best for his still weak body, but he had to deal with everyone on Atlantis being led to believe he was under suspicion. Hence Ronon's haste as his team leader and friend had to force himself not to cringe away from every glance that went his way on this short trip. Whether it was suspicion or pity, John hated it. Though he did hide it well; Ronon could only tell by the way John tensed and his jaw tightened every time they passed someone in the corridors.

Ronon knew that John just wanted to get to the relative safety of his room and away from everyone's eyes, but Ronon forced himself not to break into a run and race John back to his room. Not that they hadn't had wheelchair races before, when Carson wasn't around, but there was no way Ronon was going to risk it right now. Carson was already on edge just from releasing John, and Ronon knew that John's body wouldn't be able to take the abuse if they accidently ran into anything or were run into. So, even though he knew John wanted him to speed, he was going at a sedate pace back to John's room.

When they finally arrived at John's quarters, Ronon carefully helped John collapse on his bed. It was always peculiar for Ronon when he saw his team leader and friend like this. Normally, John was always ready to jump into action and was vibrant with energy though he always claimed a natural laziness. Ronon knew that John hated looking weak and people feeling pity for him, which Ronon could totally relate to.

Ronon saw John hide a grimace of pain and grabbed the painkillers Carson had sent with him to have John take after the trip. Carson hadn't even bothered to give them to John as he knew he wouldn't take them. Instead he had passed it off too Ronon with orders to have John take them if John showed the least amount of pain.

With the bottle of water he had grabbed, Ronon simply held them out to John saying "here".

John opened his eyes, took in what Ronon was holding and gave a long suffering sigh before he took them and muttered "e tu Brutus?"

"Huh?" Ronon questioned as that was an earth expression he had not encountered yet.

"It's from a play written by a famous English playwright based on a Roman Caesar who—never mind, it means you're going against me to."

"Oh, yeah. Well, Carson's way scarier than you when it comes to medical things. Besides, he's even worse than normal right now thanks to you getting out of the infirmary early and someone being after you."

"Well, he'll have to live with it."

"Just like you have to live with taking these pills."

John gave Ronon a disgruntled look and then weary with exhaustion swallowed the pills and downed half the bottle of water.

Worn out, John screwed the lid back on the bottle and let it drop onto the bed, not bothering to place it on his nightstand as he closed his eyes.

Ronon shook his head slightly worried at John's obvious exhaustion. "Hey" he said getting John to open his eyes again, "Carson told me to tell you someone will be in to check on you in a few hours, but if you need anything or have any problems radio for help. Oh and he sort of hinted that if he finds out you needed something, but didn't call anyone, he'd take you back to the infirmary so fast your head would spin."

"Wow," John said with a slight grin, "Carson really is riled up right now."

"Yep and its all your fault."

John's grin got wider at that and Ronon felt an answering grin form on his face. Once again John's eyes drifted closed and Ronon hesitated in leaving the room. It just didn't seem right to leave John alone since he was so weak.

However, John's eyes squinted up at him with ire after a moment. "I don't need a babysitter!"

Nodding at John's request for him to leave the room, Ronon left slowly, pushing away his unease. John would be fine he told himself firmly. There simply was no other option.

To Be Continued...

A/N: Please review and let me know what you think!!! It always encourages me to put aside what I have to do and write more!!!!