Chapter 4
*"Do you think I need help?" – Don Eppes,
"I don't think they've made a person yet who doesn't." -Megan Reeves.
Season 3, Episode 14: Take Out*
He hadn't looked away. He'd wanted to so badly, but he hadn't, instead he'd forced himself to be as brave as he knew Robin would have been. He had positioned himself next to Colby and braced his legs to stop them from crumbling beneath him as he watched the nurse pull back on the bandages, knowing that no matter what he couldn't look away. He wouldn't let Robin face it alone. He couldn't. She needed him andthere was no way he was going to let Robin down.
Thank God she isn't awake! Don couldn't help but think as he tried to school his tense features. He knew it was selfish but he didn't want her to know just how badly he was handling the situation. No doubt she would have handled it better because she was stronger than him and he loved that about her. Others thought she was cold, uncaring, abrasive even and it had earned her the nickname 'Ice Bitch' amongst the other attorneys. Don knew better though. Robin was kind; she was funny and a beautifully sensitive woman. It would break her heart to see the kind of revulsion that was in his eyes right now, so for the first time in twenty four hours he was relieved that she couldn't see it, and only prayed that she couldn't feel it either because the wound was bad. Worse than bad…it was horrific.
Robin's skin, her beautiful, pale and flawless skin, was burnt and singed, dry and wrinkled and yet at the same time wet and loose. From just below her ear, along the jaw and down her neck the yellow, black, brown and red skin shone and puckered as it cracked a painful path down her chest, teasing the top of her breast, under her arm and to her side…but despite it all, the knot of guilt in his stomach twisting tighter, his heart drumming so hard and fast that he was worried it would burst out of his chest and the sick burning the back of his throat making his eyes water, special agent in charge Don Eppes hadn't looked away. He had managed that much at least.
"All done," Don heard the plump nurse cluck sympathetically at Lila and Alan as she slowly backed back out of the room with the trolley of used bandages in tow. The intern had stayed behind and was eying Don warily from the other side of Robin's bed. Whatever had him fidgeting, Don figured it couldn't be good. Picking up Robin's hand once more, Don sat down and waited patiently for the young man to find his voice.
"Dr Foster will be in presently to discuss Ms Brooks care…" The intern started but faltered as Lila and Alan entered the room followed by a tall, lavish and overly intimidating looking man.
"Judge Steven Brooks," The older man introduced himself as he extended his wrinkled but strong hand out to the young intern, his sleeve riding back so that his genuine gold Rolex flashed expensively in the hospitals harsh neon lighting. "Robin's father."
"Tony Griffiths, I'm the intern that's been assigned to your daughter's case," The kid explained, mesmerised by Steven's both friendly and aggressive manner.
"Oh thank God!" Steven exclaimed loudly as he dropped the intern's hand and turned to look at his daughter. "I thought this kid was her doctor!"
"He's one of them dad," Lila whined back as both her and the intern's cheeks flared red with embarrassment, almost as red as her hair.
"As I was just explaining to your daughter's fiancé," The intern, Tony, replied as he shuffled anxiously on the spot in front of the well-tailored man, an edge to previously kind voice, "Dr Foster will be by shortly to discuss your daughter's case."
"I don't want you or any of her other doctors discussing anything with that man," Steven exclaimed dramatically as he turned his judicial glare upon Don, who was still sat beside Robin, squeezing her hand. Can she hear any of this? Don wondered sadly as he looked back at his soon to be father in law with nothing but contempt. You hear stories about people in comas; they wake up and remember everything. Would she? He hoped not. It would break her heart to know that they were fighting, if you could really call Steven blowing hot air at everyone fighting.
"That man is your daughter's fiancé," Colby argued back as he moved beside his boss and friend and laid a comforting hand of support on Don's solid shoulder. The same shoulder that Robin had hurt…the same shoulder that was currently boiled and blistered beneath those thick bandages…
"He's also the reason that Robin was in the courthouse that day. It's his fault she got hurt," Steven bit back with a similar protective anger to Colby's, but for once Don could see that Steven's was coming from a deeper place of love and forgave him for acting out. After all, Don agreed with him. She had gone because of a case he had asked her to look into…
I'm sorry; he told her silently and gave her hand an extra squeeze. Don't leave me. Not yet, not now and definitely not like this!
"No daddy…it's not," Lila whispered sadly as she moved between the frozen and unresponsive Don and her fuming and well groomed father. "She went to the courthouse yesterday to pick up a file from her assistant Michael…he forgot to give it to her the night before so technically it's his fault. Or mine, I could have stopped her, told her to get the file later…dad," She paused as every eye in the room fell upon Lila's small hunched frame with interest, even the young intern's. "She was pregnant…they lost the baby and she's still not out of the woods yet. You've been here all of five minutes while we've been here all night…stop behaving like a jerk and be here for us, as well as her or don't bother being here at all." Sticking her chin out in defiance, Don watched Lila as she faced off her formidable father and won. Robin would have been proud, Don definitely was. Lila had moments when she could be the biggest flake and then others like this one where Don could see the lawyer she would become. Harvard had better watch out.
"Well I…pregnant? Jesus…Don I…does she know?" Don supposed it was the closest that Steven would ever come to an apology but Don couldn't reply. He didn't have the words to do so. Just thinking about what they had lost…he felt an anger deep in his gut like a white hot poker that closed off his throat and made him want to hit something…but couldn't because he needed to be strong. Better, he needed to be more like Ian. He needed to take everything, the pain, the grief and the hopelessness and push it all down where no one could see. His pain didn't matter, he could fall apart later. Right now Robin was his only focus, his only priority.
"Ms Brooks has been out of it since she arrived, it's unlikely she knows," Tony answered for Don who was still sat numbly beside his fiancée as Dr Foster entered the room, seemingly unperturbed by the large group of people gathered around his patient and unaware of the guilt that was twisting all of their guts.
"Good morning," He greeted them all as he picked up Robin's chart, jotted a few notes and then turned to introduce himself to Steven who somehow looked smaller than when he had first entered earlier. "My names Dr Foster, I'm handling Ms Brooks case." He explained as Steven shook the doctor's hand.
"Steven Brooks, Robin's father."
"Ah good," Dr Foster nodded before moving over to his intern and handed the chart over. "I wanted to discuss and walk you through the next procedure; it's useful that you're altogether." Don got the distinct impression that Dr Foster was a little odd and more than a little scattered, but he'd been told the night before by a nurse that Dr Foster was also the best burn's and plastic's Dr in LA so Don guessed he could forgive the doctor his small oddities. So long as he saves her, because Don wouldn't even know how to try going on without her, didn't even want to consider it a possibility.
"When will she wake up?" Steven cut in before the doctor could continue, addressing Dr Foster as if he was a witness on the stand. Before he'd retired and become a federal judge, Steven Brooks had been one of the highest paid defence lawyers in the country with several high profile clients and the habit was unfortunately hard to kick. Most people would have been intimidated by the way Steven seemed to suck all the air from the room and blow it back at them with his charmingly aggressive manner but not Dr Foster and Don liked that about the older man.
"At the moment we have her under sedation because of concerns over smoke damage to her trachea and lungs. Your daughter has suffered heavy damage to her chest and it's affecting her breathing so we intubated her and put her on a ventilator. The next step is determining when she can come off the ventilator." Dr Foster replied smoothly, the look on his round and creased face a mixture of sympathy and irritation. Don often felt the same way after five minutes in a room with Robin and her father.
Steven hadn't been the best father to Robin or Lila. Robin claimed it was because Steven was a busy man, being a federal judge…and chairman of his local country club but Don knew it was because Steven Brooks was a jerk and all round douche. Over the years he'd spent more time at the nineteenth hole than with either of his two daughters making his and Robin's relationship a complicated story of a daughter's search for love and validation from a father who had abandoned her as a girl. Robin tried to be brave because Steven had been her hero growing up, and the reason she had even gotten into law, but even Robin had grown tired of making excuses for him when Steven had cancelled a dinner arrangement with her and Don to toast the engagement. Don wondered if Steven even knew the pain he had inflicted upon both his daughter's over the years…
"And when will you know?" Steven asked, this time his tone laced with impatience.
"That is what I am here to discuss. It's a recent procedure that they have started up in ICU's."
"Meaning it's new? Experimental?"
"If he'd meant new or experimental he'd have said it dad," Lila chided as she took his hand and gave it a little pinch. "Stop being difficult," She whispered angrily as she turned back to the doctor and asked: "What does it involve?"
"We call it a sedation vacation, it's a daily or shift assessment where the sedation is weaned off or turned off to allow for a neurovascular check to assess readiness to extubate. It is the best way of getting an indication that your sister is ready to breathe on her own. The procedure is designed to reduce the time patients need to be on a ventilator for. Before this it was a guessing game to determine when patients were ready. This way we'll know and be able to make a more detailed decision as to the care your sister needs to receive," Tony replied kindly.
"You're going to wake her up?" Colby asked surprised, hope shining in his gruff voice.
"Yes," Dr Foster nodded a little longer than was necessary as if he was trying to hypnotise the crowd with his bobbing head. "Sedation Vacation's help orientate patients to their surroundings and their situation. It helps with the weaning process which is the next stage."
"And how long before she's weaned of the ventilator?" Steven asked a little shyly, the closest he would ever to come to being able to restrain his natural urge to dominate the situation.
"That all depends on Ms Brooks. As soon as she can support her own breathing I'll take her off the ventilator. Dr Griffiths here will start bringing her out of sedation and then I'll be back later to assess and talk to her." Dr foster replied kindly as he moved over to the door ready to leave.
"How long until she wakes up?" Lila asked sadly as her dad laid his arm over her small shoulders and hugged her to him, she looked tiny next to his bulky frame.
"It's different with every patient," Dr Foster explained patiently as he opened the door ready to step outside. "I'm afraid with burn injuries it's a waiting game. She'll wake when the sedation wares off but there is no telling when that will be. You have a few hours yet."
"Hours…" Lila repeated back miserably and Don knew where she was coming from. What he would give to look into Robin's beautiful kind eyes and have her see him back…and he had to wait hours for it? On top of that they didn't even know how Robin would react when she did wake up and Don was starting to question if there would ever be an end to this nightmare.
"I'm afraid so," Dr Foster grimaced unhelpfully. Why did people always say that? I'm afraid so, I'm afraid we don't have that…I'm afraid I can't help…what are you really afraid of? Don wanted to ask the doctor but decided not to voice the bitterness and frustration he felt inside. He was just tired and angry and that wasn't the doctor's fault.
"Ok," Lila nodded joltingly as she looked up to the ceiling in a strong attempt to stop the tears from falling before shrugging off her father's heavy arm to sit down next to Robin, opposite Don.
"I'm going to start weaning Ms Brooks off sedation now," Tony informed the group, reminding them of his presence.
"I've got some calls to make," Steven told no one in particular before ducking from the room. Don knew there was nothing Steven could do to help Robin right now, even he had some calls he needed to make, Don just couldn't imagine leaving Robin for a second and resented Steven for never treating Robin better, for never making her his number one priority…for never loving her as much as she deserved to be loved…
"There," Tony told them as he quickly made one last note on the chart and fiddled with one of her IV bags. "I'll be back to check on her constantly, but if Ms Brooks should wake while I'm on rounds, just send the nurse to fetch me or have her page Dr Foster."
"Thanks," Lila smiled weakly, stroking his strong arm through the white coat that was still stained from earlier with the coffee Don had made him spill. Don guessed he didn't have a spare and felt bad for scaring the kid by pulling his gun earlier. What he really needed was to get some proper sleep; he just knew trying would be pointless. As tired as Don felt he also felt too wired. He couldn't rest, not properly, not until he knew Robin was home and safe with him.
"Er, no problem," The intern blushed as he tucked the chart under his arm and headed past her to the door that Steven had left open in his haste to make his 'calls'.
"Coffee?" Alan asked the room in general as he folded and unfolded his hands in his lap, desperate just to be of use. Don knew Alan was worried about Robin, and himself…but Don didn't have the strength to placate his father or to let him in…to tell him not to worry and Don felt guilty about that. Just one more thing to add to the list of things to feel guilty about.
"No thanks Alan," Lila replied kindly as Don only shook his head in response. He'd had too much coffee already and didn't understand why it was the default thing to do anyway. You see it everywhere, on TV or in books. If you're in hospital then you're either getting coffee or your drinking it and he'd had enough. Coffee wasn't going to help Robin and it definitely wasn't going to make things magically better. Why was he the only one who could see that?
"I'll have a cup," Colby smiled sympathetically as he moved to join Alan, who still looked at a loss over how to help his unresponsive son. Don felt bad as he watched the door close behind them, leaving him and Lila alone with Robin, but it was as if he couldn't feel it, any of it. He knew he should have just accepted the coffee, said something, anything…it just felt like he didn't know how to anymore. Whenever he opened his mouth to speak it was as if the words couldn't get past the lump in his throat or simply died on his lips. He knew that sounded ridiculous but it was as if he was frozen, suspended over a giant abyss and he could feel…none of it.
Just pain…something raw and gutting and self-destructive and it took all of his strength just to push it down and lock it away…like Ian would. Funny, Don was really starting to get a new appreciation for how hard it must be to be 'The Great Agent Ian Edgerton' and felt guilty once more for not making the effort to check in with Ian more over the past six weeks. Don had told himself that Charlie could handle it but Charlie shouldn't have had to handle it alone. Don realised that now and really wished Charlie was here, even if his little brother did have a history for handling difficult situations badly. He just wanted Charlie here with him…
Closing his eyes in a fake attempt at sleep, Don let Lila believe he had drifted off so as to avoid any kind of awkward conversation. They had hours to kill and he didn't want to spend it making small talk. If that made him a jerk for not trying to be there for Robin's sister then he was a jerk. Besides, his father and Colby would be back with the coffee soon, they wanted to do something for him? Then they could do that, be there for Lila because right now Don was doing a bad enough job of just being there for Robin.
I'm sorry Rob, he told her silently, squeezing her hand until it turned white and waited, semi-patiently, for the moment he could tell her when she woke up.
*Break*
"I've gone over all of the reports and there isn't a single thing they can agree on," detective Chris Morrison told Elliott disbelievingly as he handed over the statements he'd just spent the last couple hours taking.
"I've yet to get a useable lead either," Elliott shrugged indifferently as he tossed the folder onto the top of his desk without even looking at it. "No one saw or heard anything even remotely useful. The only ones that were even close enough are in are morgue right now."
"What about Ms Brooks? Those kinds of injuries, you'd have to be pretty close to the bomb or bomber…" Chris reminded El, not that he'd forgotten. Robin had been playing on Elliott's mind all morning. Was she ok? Was Don ok? Why did he even care? Did he even care? Of course he cared…damn it!
"As far as I understand it she is unconscious at the moment," Elliott sighed tiredly as he scrubbed at his face with his rough, calloused hands.
"Well I'm about to head over there anyway. There's still time before the briefing right?" Chris asked concernedly as he picked up his beaten leather jacket from the back of his chair and began to pull it on.
"There's time," Elliott nodded as he pushed back in his desk chair and got up to pull on his own coat.
"You coming with?"
"No," Elliott grumbled as he pulled a different report from his desk, scattering the pile of other cases that a detective had just come by and stacked on top. The explosion was not their only case that was on going at the moment but it was the only one El was going to give any attention to. He'd hand off some of the other cases to the other detectives in the department that weren't being reassigned to the courthouse bombing and he'd get to the others when he could.
"Oh…" Chris replied when Elliott didn't elaborate further and busied himself with pulling the scattered files back into some form of a pile.
"I'm going to the morgue," Elliott sighed as he tucked the report under his arm and pushed his hands into the pockets of his coat. "See what Claudia's managed to find…"
"You should come by the hospital after," Chris told him firmly, a lot firmer than he had intended. He didn't want to tell El what to do but he could see that his partner wanted to come, El just needed a little nudge…so Chris guessed that this was him…nudging…
"I…" Elliott had been about to refuse but stopped at the last minute. "I'll see if I have time after." He offered instead. The kid meant well after all.
"Good," Chris smiled relieved as he and Elliott moved over to the elevator together. It had been a whole hour since El had last shouted at him…it was progress…sort of…
"Stop smiling," El grouched as he pushed the button for the parking garage and prevented further conversation by sticking his nose into the CSI's preliminary report before heading in the opposite direction to his cherry red Chevy Impala without even so much as a 'goodbye' or 'see you later'. Shaking his head wryly Chris smiled again and headed in the direction of his own silver Chevy Camaro.
*Break*
He didn't know when he'd passed out, or how much time had passed since but he did know enough to know that something wasn't right. Alarms were ringing, Lila was screaming and Robin's hand was no longer in his. Scrambling in his seat, Don wrenched his sleep crusted eyes open and reached for his now empty holster. Thankfully he had given his gun to Colby after the last time he'd accidently drawn it…
"What's happening?" Lila screamed frantically as Alan and Steven wrestled her back as doctors and nurses swarmed Robin's bed from both sides.
"Robin?" Don whispered confused as he stood up and watched with horror as the intern and nurse pulled at a wrist each and held them down, pinning them as Robin continued to thrash erratically in her bed. "What's going on?" Don demanded furiously, causing Lila to still in her progress to get to her sister's side.
"She woke up and she just started pulling at all the wires!" Lila cried deep, heaving sobs as her body caved in and it became a job to keep her propped up.
"Ms Brooks," Dr Foster spoke loudly as he leaned over Robin and tried to get her to focus on him and not the team of doctors currently restraining her in her bed. "You're in hospital," He enunciated carefully but Robin was too afraid or too groggy to listen properly.
"Get out of the way," Don told the doctor sternly and thought the older man might refuse for a moment until he apparently thought better of it. Don knew he must look a state in his wrinkled suit and loosened tie, his greasy finger combed hair standing up at odd angles and his blood red eyes cracked from lack of sleep and grief but he was also the only one that could get her to calm down. He didn't know how he knew…he just did.
"Rob?" He forced a smile as he placed his hands on either side of her head and turned her to face him. "It's Don. I'm here baby," He whispered as he gently massaged the back of her head where it met her spine and waited for her eyes to focus on his before speaking again. Her thrashing had stopped at the mention of his name. "You were in an accident," He told her gently as the intern and nurse let go of her wrists when Don waved at them to back away as well and propped himself up on the side of the hospital bed's stiff mattress.
Reaching up to her neck and mouth, Robin tried to pull at the tube again before Don took her exploratory hand in his and held it tightly against his chest as he stroked her cheek with his thumb. "You're in hospital," He told her softly as her gaze flickered briefly to Dr Foster then back to Don. "That's right, he's your doctor," Don nodded and smiled, though the effort hurt and he could feel it bursting his chest. "He needs to check on you…ok? But I'm going to be here with you…the whole way. So if you get scared, just squeeze my hand ok? Ok." Don smiled reassuringly, but it didn't quite reach his eyes and he only hoped Robin couldn't tell that he was shattering into a thousand pieces inside.
"Hello Robin," Dr Foster tried again as he stepped back up to Robin's bedside and began his neurovascular checks, the whole time Robin squeezed Don's hand with a crushing strength that was surprising, but Don never let go and apart from when Dr Foster told her to look at him, he never looked away either.
When Dr Foster was finished and finally stepped away again, Don leaned in and kissed his fiancée on the corner of her open and intubated mouth. "I love you," He told her fiercely and made sure that she could see how much in his tear filled eyes and feel as much in the comforting squeeze of his large hand before Lila came over and took hold of her other one, pulling her attention away from Don as a couple tears managed to sneak past his defences.
"Don," Steven called from the doorway as Don quickly wiped the tears away and turned to face his soon to be father in law, the jerk that hadn't even come over to tell his daughter that he loved her. "A word…outside…" He added as Don let go of Robin's hand and reluctantly made his way over to her waiting father.
"I'll be right back," he whispered softly before slipping out of the room to the grim faces of Dr Foster and his tired looking intern.
*Break*
It had been a long morning and if there was one place on earth Elliott wished he wasn't right now it was in the LA County Morgue's stuffy waiting room. It never seemed to matter what time of day it was, the small room was always occupied with some relative, doctor or detective. All packed in together on the morgues uncomfortable butt numbing blue plastic chairs as the dinosaur of a receptionist watched over them with her beady accusing eyes behind her green horn-rimmed glasses.
"First time?" The woman next to Elliott whispered kindly as she leaned in close enough that their arms stuck together in the sweaty heat, despite the fan in the corner's best efforts to cool the room. The way it was jerking and spluttering, Elliott was a little surprised that they hadn't called time of death on it yet…
"Sorry?" Elliott asked confused as he turned to look into the startling green eyes of the woman next to him.
"Sorry," She smiled back sympathetically. "It's just you don't look good…well! I mean…you don't look well…sorry," She blushed prettily as she placed her hand on his arm in apology.
"Oh," Elliott nodded dumbly as the woman's thumb moved comfortingly in slow little circles as warmth spread throughout his arm at her touch. "No…I'm fine," He grimaced as he looked down at his watch with impatience. Claudia had said she'd only be ten minutes half an hour ago.
"That's good," The woman smiled as she uncrossed and re-crossed her legs so that she could twist in her seat to face him better, her skirt riding up a little as she did. "I'm Donna," She added as she held out her hand and waited for him to take it.
"Elliott," He replied brusquely as he gave her hand a quick shake before dropping it again, his eyes following Claudia as she emerged through the double doors that lead back to the examination rooms before stopping at the receptionist's desk to swap files. "Excuse me," He told Donna as he stood up and made a pointless attempt at smoothing the wrinkles from his wrinkled suit before heading over to the receptionists desk himself, completely missing the look of annoyance that flashed on Donna's heart shaped face as he walked away.
"I know, I know," Dr Claudia Gomez, the LA county coroner, held her hands up in defence at the look of annoyance on her old friends face. "But I had to make a few calls."
"Tell me you've finished the preliminary autopsies and I'll forgive you," Elliott grouched as he gave her a quick hug hello.
"Urgh," She squirmed in his tight grasp, "You're all sweaty!" She protested as he chuckled and hugged her tighter out of spite, earning dirty looks from the ancient receptionist.
"Maybe if you guys fixed the AC in here it wouldn't be a problem," El grinned as he let her go and ducked as she went to deck him one in return before grabbing her arm and twisting her until she was caught under his arm and scrubbed at the top of her head with his knuckles.
"Get off!" She laughed as he let go of her and watched as she preened her hair back down with her long slender fingers.
"What?" He asked suspiciously when she opened her mouth to speak but seemed to think better of it.
"It's nothing," She smiled as she picked up the file the receptionist had given her before El had walked over and handed it over to him. "Your report."
"Spit it out." He told her sternly as he rolled his eyes and flicked open the file, his smile dying on his lips as he saw the picture of the dead security officer, 'Flo'. He had known her...she had six kids, her eldest was at college-the first in her family, and her youngest was just about to graduate high school…
"It's just…it's nice to see that you still know how to have fun," Claudia replied, unaware of his sudden change of mood. When he didn't respond she sighed. The post Snatcher El was back and just when he'd finally let a glimmer of the old fun detective Hayes come out.
"Are all twenty accounted for?" He asked stiffly as he shuffled through the pictures until he stopped on the woman with the expensive wedding ring.
"She's the only one I couldn't ID," Claudia replied sadly as she looked over El's tall shoulder to see what had drawn his eyes in, slopped his shoulders and curved his spine. "I thought…well…what with a fancy engagement ring as that…no one's come to claim her yet…"
"Engagement ring? Not a Wedding ring?" He sighed sadly as he shut the file, crossing his arms around it and pinning it to his chest.
"Don't quote me on it but engagement rings just tend to be fancier, more ornate whilst wedding rings tend to be simpler. You get engaged, all your friends care about is how fancy the ring is. No one really cares about the wedding ring and this one's fla-shy! Someone spent a lot of money on that ring." Claudia shrugged as El only looked at her in surprise. "Just because no one's asked me doesn't mean I don't know about engagement rings!" She shook her haughtily as he looked on bewildered. Women…he'd never understand them.
"I didn't say anything," He sighed as he flipped the file back open to the Jane Doe's page and looked at the photo Claudia had taken of the ring. "Expensive you say…" He mumbled more to himself than to Claudia. "Then that's how we'll identify her. I'll get Chris to do some research, see if we can't find out where this ring was purchased and by whom."
"How is Chris…you know…working out?" Claudia asked uncomfortably as El pulled out a silver fountain pen from his shirt pocket and scribbled a reminder next to the picture. Brian had given it to him as a Christmas present their first year together…
"He's too keen," Elliott groaned miserably as he pushed the memory away and shut the file once more, tucking it into the inside pocket of his suit jacket along with the CSI's preliminary report.
"El…"
"Don't," He sighed tiredly as he held out a hand and rested it on her shoulder. He wasn't sure if he was giving her comfort or keeping her at arm's length…he just knew he didn't want to go into it right now.
"Ok…I won't," She sighed back in return as she reached up and gave his hand a sympathetic squeeze. "But you know…deep down…the kid isn't that bad…he reminds me of Bri when he first started…just…I don't know, try to remember how it felt being the rookie…we all have to start somewhere."
"Ok."
"Where you going now?" She asked confused as he pulled her in for another quick hug, kissing her on the top of the head as he did. He'd known Claudia so long now she was like a sister to him…a sister that could drink him under the table and win in an arm wrestling match…but a sister all the same.
"To the hospital. I need to check on a witness."
"Tell Don we're all thinking about her," Claudia shouted after El as he refused to look back and held his hand up in goodbye instead.
*Break*
Shutting the door to Robin's room firmly behind him, Don let out the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding before collecting himself enough to face the sickly sympathetic smile of Dr Foster. He wondered if it was a default setting, how many years as a doctor had it taken him to develop that bland smile. Did he even realise he was doing it? "How bad is it?" Don asked directly, too tired and too drained to skirt around the issue.
"Honestly," Dr Foster paused momently as if searching for the right way to phase the blow that Don's whole body was already flinching for.
"No I want you to lie to me," Don sighed dryly as the intern flinched for him and Don automatically regretted the remark. Dr Foster was only doing his job after all. "Sorry," Don mumbled as Steven shifted uncomfortably beside him.
"Just give it to us straight," Steven told the pair and Don was a little surprised by the 'us'. Only hours before he hadn't wanted Don near Robin and now they were an 'us'?
"Ms Brookes needs to go back under sedation," Dr Foster replied a little too bluntly as Don gritted his teeth and crossed his arms protectively across his chest. It felt like the bottom had fallen out of his stomach and his brain felt a little faint. But she's only just woken up, he wanted to protest but didn't.
"For how long?" Steven asked for Don, who only nodded as he did his best to hold back the pinprick of tears that were tearing at his tired eyes.
"For a few more days minimum," Dr Foster told them straight as he tucked and un-tucked the chart in his thick arms, as if he really wasn't sure what to do with himself. "Her breathing is much improved…she just needs longer for the burn's and inflammation in her throat to go down."
"How much does she know?"
"Pardon?"
"About what's going on, how much does she know?" Don asked again as he dropped his arms and looked at the doctor straight.
"Her responses to the neuro exam were laboured, her reaction to coming off sedation was…erratic…I doubt she knows or acknowledged more than the pain, the fact that she's in hospital…and you Mr Eppes. She calmed visibly when she saw and heard you." Dr Foster seemed to pause and think about that last comment as if he was still a little surprised that Don muscling his way to his fiancée's side had actually helped. Maybe other patients didn't have the same connection Don and Robin had; it was all that his shattered mind could offer by way of explanation.
"So what happens next?" Steven asked as he pulled his phone out and gave it a quick scan.
"We will sedate her again at half the dose," The intern Tony told Don when it seemed that Dr Foster had drifted off into some unreachable dream world. Don wondered if the kid was used to it or if he was stumped by his boss's unresponsiveness. "Then tomorrow, at the same time, we will wake her up and preform the neuro exam again. Hopefully she will be less drowsy and more responsive tomorrow."
"Very good," Dr Foster added absently as together he and Don both tuned to look at the commotion at the end of the hall.
"Now isn't a good time," Colby was telling Michael Burnett, Robin's assistant and the reason she was in the courthouse that day. "You should go home; I'll call you when there's news."
"No Col, I need to see her!" Michael called out as Colby tried to strong arm Michael back toward the elevator.
Without hesitation, Don left the two doctors and Steven watching on confused as he stalked down the wide, blandly painted corridor, grabbed Michael by the shoulder, turned him around and punched him so hard in the face that Michael fell backwards against the wall, blood pouring from his nose.
"DON!" Lila shrieked from somewhere behind him but Don didn't care. Fists still clenched and shaking, Don let Colby back him up against the opposite wall and away from the dishevelled and messy state of Michael.
"Michael?" Steven asked Don as the young intern took Michael by the elbow and helped him up, getting blood on his white jacket for his efforts.
"Yes," Don nodded, panting hard as he did his best to calm the adrenaline coursing through his veins. Pocketing his mobile phone, Steven turned away from Don and Col, approached his daughter's assistant and punched him again, not as hard as Don but with enough power to send the disgruntled lawyer flying backwards onto his arse once more.
Ignoring Michael's protests of a broken nose, Don turned away and headed back towards Robin's room and was surprised to see Elliott standing guard by the door, Lila was nowhere to be seen. "Feel better?" El asked flatly when Don was within earshot.
"Would you blame me if I said yes?" Don smiled bitterly. his hand was throbbing but it was a good pain, a satisfying pain. It was better than the fear that had been clogging up his throat all morning anyway.
"Depends…what'd Michael do?" El replied expressionless as Don stopped less than a meter away, his hand on the handle to Robin's room.
"She wasn't meant to be at the courthouse. It was her day off…she was shopping for a wedding dress and because he didn't do his job Rob got hurt," Don told Elliott angrily. It was as if the dam had burst and he was no longer in control of his emotions. All he knew was that amongst the guilt and anger there was no shame.
"She got hurt because someone blew up the courthouse," Elliott told Don sternly almost disapprovingly. "We haven't ruled him out as a suspect but something tells me that it wasn't Michael's fault."
"She had a miscarriage," Don replied with a quiet anger that was somehow worse than if he had shouted it. "So I'm sorry that I can't see it like that right now," Don shook his head furiously. "Now if you excuse me I'd like to get back to her side." Don added, matching his old friend's flat tone as he opened the door and began to step inside.
"I hear she's awake," El told Don quickly, stopping him in his tracks.
"They're putting her back under in a minute."
"Then can I speak to her? Before they do?" Elliott asked a little sheepishly this time, the anger…the pain temporarily wiped from his face, replaced with concern.
"No," Don replied sadly, not to be mean. Robin just wasn't ready. "She's on a ventilator. She couldn't tell you anything even if she did know something."
"Ok…Don…about the baby…I'm Sor-"
"Don?" Charlie asked gently, interrupting Elliott and drawing both of their attention upon the professor and his taller companion, neither of which they had heard approach which was expected from Ian. The man moved like a panther stalking its prey. But Charlie? He had clearly learnt a few moves in their time away and selfishly Don was just relieved to have his mind temporarily on something other than his fear for Robin or their loss.
"How is she?" Ian asked politely, aware that Elliott was staring daggers at him but ignoring it as Don pulled his brother in for a bear hug.
"It's bad," Don whispered, his voice so soft that the others had to lean in slightly to hear it. "I'm glad you're here," He told Charlie honestly as he pulled back, "Both of you." He added as he looked over his shoulder and nodded at Ian as a look of understanding passed between the two.
"El," Ian started but the detective seemed to recoil from their presence, his face etched with pain and anger once more. It was the first time the pair had seen each other since Elliott had ripped his partner's dead body from Ian's arms as he'd screamed for him to get up. Ian didn't count the funeral as the last time as Elliott had avoided him like the plague and had barely made eye contact with him for the entire service. "El I…"
"No." Elliott stated simply, stopping Ian short before turning on his heel and walking away.
"Forget him," Don Told Ian kindly as he pulled his brother's boyfriend in for a hug of his own before leading the pair into Robin's room. They only managed a brief hello to the still disorientated Robin before the young intern returned to put her back under sedation.
Collapsing back into the chair next to her, Don felt a little comforted by his brother's and Ian's presence but couldn't help but feel slightly sedated himself. Running on coffee, his tired brain was incapable of speech, which thankfully wasn't a problem as Lila was avoiding both Don and Steven's eyes and refusing to speak to either one of them. Instead they all sat in patient silence and waited, which was a welcome relief to Don who still wasn't in the mood for chit chat or pointless small talk.
When the time eventually did come for the other's to leave both Don and Lila stayed on, setting up camp for the night once more by Robin's side, though both knew sleep was unlikely. He just wanted for it to be the next day already. He wanted to see her open her eyes and feel her squeeze his hand again. But the morning took a long time to come and her next sedation vacation even longer.