Chapter 20 – How do you solve a problem like Satan

For a few hours, Hermione was unable to fully understand what was going on. She let herself be led out of the Void, and her sister aspects were horrified at what had passed. By then, Mother Nature, who had found her in a state of shock, brought her to her home in the middle of a green wood such as Hermione had never seen before. Too bad Hermione didn't notice much of all that beauty.

She was still in shock.

'Sweetie,' coaxed Mother Nature, 'I can't help you if you don't talk to me.'

Lachesis took over the body and asked, 'Mother, please. Can we have a few minutes? We don't fully understand what happened ourselves.'

'Would you like me to get Chronos?'

'And Thanatos as well, please, Mother. Thank you so much.'

As Mother Nature went out to fetch the other incarnations, the three aspects of Fate engrossed in deep conversation. Internally, of course.

Guys, I missed you so much, said Hermione shakily. I have never missed you this much.

Tell us what happened, asked Atropos.

I think Satan attacked me, she answered. I am almost sure it was him.

How come you are not sure about it?

Because he used Severus's appearance, she said. He tried to imitate him, and I regret to say he fooled me almost until the end.

What gave him away?, asked Atropos.

At first, it was the disrespect for his office, the mocking ways, said Hermione. Then he tried to trick me into admitting I was cheating on Chronos.

I hate to say it, lamented Atropos, but I was afraid he might try something like this. That prick!

Lachesis said, Clotho, I know this is hard, but you need to tell us everything. And then we will help you tell the others. Where is the distaff?

Right here, said Hermione. It is unharmed. Why do you ask?

Because I can feel it is important, was all she said.

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At first, there was a great deal of confusion among the incarnations gathered at Mother Nature's living room. Not only was Fate distraught, but the hostess herself looked disturbed. The male incarnations were at a loss at first.

Hermione began to unravel her misfortune. Lachesis wanted to take the body, but Hermione asked to be physically present, so she could hold Severus and be comforted after the insidious attack.

Mars, Gaia's lover, was the most confused of them all. 'So the four of you are lovers, just not the couples we thought?'

Severus sighed. The Incarnation of War was notoriously thick in matters of thought. Still, he answered patiently, 'Correct. We had to resort to secrecy because of Satan's insistence in harassing Fate.'

Hermione said, 'He chose to attack me when I was totally alone. My sister aspects go dormant in the Void.'

Gaia lamented, 'You poor thing, you didn't have your sisters with you.'

'That was his plan all along,' agreed Hermione. 'I saw Severus, and my guard was down.'

'Because you love him so much, and it didn't occur to you that Death is not allowed to enter the fountain of life,' added Mother Nature. 'Thanatos could have never been there in the first place.'

War was still confused, 'But you didn't notice anything amiss?'

Hermione wiped the tears and answered, 'Not at first, because he said he wanted to try new things, spice up our relationship.'

Chronos was gritting his teeth when he said, 'So he had warned you that he might be different, the bastard.'

Hermione said, 'That is why I only became suspicious when he said something about betraying Chronos, and that he had an old woman as a lover, and how they should expect to be cheated. But I became sure when he disrespected the office, calling dying people bad names and implying they were losers. Severus would never say such things.'

They exchanged smiles and held hands, in a reassuring gesture. Mother Nature, however, was not amused.

'Please answer this,' she asked. 'Did both of you engage in intercourse?'

Hermione looked vexed beyond belief. 'Unfortunately, yes, I'm afraid. I was totally deceived.'

'Oh no,' paled the Incarnation of Nature, who looked as distraught as Hermione. 'This means he won. By my grass, he got a mighty victory.'

Hermione and Severus frowned, Chronos raised an eyebrow and Mars swore heavily. Severus asked, 'Is it possible?'

Dejectedly, Gaia said, 'It is a mortal sin to conspurcate the Fountain of Life. Hermione damned her soul to Hell.'

A wave of sheer shock passed through the room. Hermione cried, 'No!'

Severus bit his lip, otherwise he might have shouted an expletive.

'But she didn't know!' Chronos cried. 'She is innocent!'

'A sin was committed,' maintained Gaia. 'The most evil aspect of this is that she might have never realized that until it was time for the tally of her soul. Satan would let her believe her soul was pure until it was time to drag her to Hell.'

War asked, 'Could he do that now?'

Gaia shook her head, 'He cannot take possession of a soul before the subject's death.'

Chronos exclaimed, 'It could have been years before she realized it! Centuries, even!'

Severus was having none of it. 'But now we know what is going on, so we must act. What can we do?'

Mother Nature was quite despondent, 'I am afraid there is not much we can do.'

'No!' said Hermione. 'There must be something we can do! I was tricked! It cannot be valid in case of deception, right?'

Gaia asked, 'Tell me, my dear, and don't lie: did he force you to do anything you didn't want?'

'No, but I didn't want to do that with him!'

'I understand, but if the man was your real lover, would you deny him the pleasure?'

'No, but -'

'There you go. The Fountain would have been sullied anyway. You would have committed the sin. The deception is germane to the point.'

Hermione was on the verge of total panic. Severus asked, 'Is there anyone we can appeal? Some sort of authority or court to settle this kind of dispute?'

Chronos shrugged, 'There is always Purgatory. There hasn't been a complaint as such in quite some time. And although I am sympathetic to your problem I cannot see how there is much of a case.'

The aspects of Fate were hopeful, and Hermione said so. 'Purgatory may be the way, says Lachesis. She tells me about a Soul Tribunal.'

'I never heard of that,' said Severus. 'But Chronos says it is quite unusual to appeal.'

'That is the proper channel, as far as I know,' confirmed the Incarnation of Time. 'You can present a complaint, but the process won't be secret. Satan would know.'

'I don't mind,' quipped the younger aspect of Fate. 'I want to see him pay.'

War said, 'This is totally unheard of. A Soul Tribunal is called to decide upon the fate of mortal souls. To judge the fate of an Incarnation of Immortality is a new one.'

'Then we may stand a chance,' said Chronos. 'Satan is about the face some real challenge!'

Hermione asked, 'Can we research about it anywhere? Where can I go?'

'Library of Purgatory, of course.'

Death's accoutrements began to flash brightly, and he said, 'Unfortunately, I can't go with you, my eternal. But I will be back as soon as I possibly can.'

Hermione hugged him, 'Thank you, my love. We can fight this.'

'And so we will.' Severus kissed her and stepped out, where Mort was already awaiting. Hermione followed him with her eyes, trying not to cry.

Mother Nature, for once, didn't agree with the optimistic attitude.

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'Excuse me. Excuse me.'

Hermione had to raise her voice in order to be heard by the extremely distracted old lady in spectacles at the Purgatory entrance. Said lady didn't even raise her head to say, 'May I help you?'

Purgatory looked a lot like the Ministry of Magic, decided Hermione. There were offices and public services, and a lot of outdated equipment alongside computer-like machinery. There was an aura of slow developing processes and much consumer frustration.

'I would like to know how can I appeal on a Soul Tribunal.'

The lady droned, 'It takes at least a decade after the demise to be eligible to apply. Then you must appeal to your guardian angel to fulfill the application.'

'But I am not dead.'

Only then did the lady raised her head to take a good look at Hermione. 'You are alive?! How could this -'

She interrupted herself squinting her eyes. Then she realized, much to her astonishment, 'You are immortal.'

'Actually, I am an Incarnation of Immortality.'

'Oh dear,' said the lady, intimidated. 'I think I better call my manager.'

The manager was as lost as the old lady, and he decided to call an even higher manager. Atropos found the situation extremely amusing. It would indeed get as amusing as it could get, for the minor incarnation herself, Bureaucracy, was called to sort the situation.

Bureaucracy, however, was not the only incarnation involved. There was no precedent in the situation, and the Incarnation of Justice, Justitia, was called.

'The law has no provision for such a situation,' the business-like young lady explained. 'You want a Soul Tribunal against a demon? Which one?'

'Satan,' she answered. 'Not an ordinary demon.'

Justitia could have just twisted her Greek toga in sheer despair. 'Oh, that is rich! Not only a litigation, but one against none other than the Incarnation of Evil! All laws of the Great Beyond will have to be rewritten!'

Hermione shrugged, 'Satan has been bending laws and rules since the dawn of time. One day this was bound to happen.'

'But can you see the problem? Purgatory is supposed to be neutral. We are not above Good and Evil, but we can't take sides. How am I to assign a fair judge to this case? There is a matter of rank here. We are all minor incarnations! How can we rule over a major incarnation and a major entity in the same complaint?'

Hermione answered, 'Well, I was wronged and I want to set the record straight. You are the entity of Justice. Can't you rule the case?'

Justitia frowned. She obviously didn't think about that. 'That is actually not a bad idea. I haven't been on the bench in a while. Perhaps we could settle it all in only a nice hearing. Let me consult with Heaven and Hell, and I will let you know.'

Later, Hermione thought that Lady Justice could have said she would break Hell loose.

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Lachesis opened the door and a red angry face greeted her, 'What in the name of the most foul are you people thinking?'

The middle aged aspect of Fate was unfazed, 'If you don't mind your manners, Satan, I won't let you in.'

The Incarnation of Evil shouted, 'I demand an explanation!'

Lachesis noisily shut the door without batting an eyelash. In the same second, Satan knocked again. She opened, asking, 'Are you any calmer?'

'Why did you request a Soul Tribunal?', he answered in a much subdued voice.

She corrected him, 'I did not. Clotho did. Perhaps it had something to do with your personification of her lover. Or perhaps she felt so deceived by you that there was no ground for freewill in her decision.'

'Let me in. I want to talk to her.'

Lachesis did not grant him entrance to the abode. 'You can do that in court.'

'This is absurd! Aren't you concerned with the precedent? What if this becomes a regular occurrence?'

'You should have thought about the consequences of your act before you engaged in your devious devices.'

'But -'

Lachesis interrupted him, 'Save it for the hearing, Lucifer. If this is all, I bid you farewell.'

She closed the door and he shouted, 'This is not over! You will see!'

A foul cloud of sulfur was the confirmation that Satan had left the premises. Lachesis sighed.

You could have let him in, said Hermione.

She did right, piped up Atropos. It would have been a shouting match, dear. Better shout in front of a judge.

Chronos, who was unaware of the internal conversation, said, 'What did he want?'

Lachesis sat by his side, intertwined their fingers and shrugged, saying, 'Don't have the faintest idea. I'm not in the mood for his tantrums.'

'That means Lady Justice told him about the hearing,' said Chronos.

'It also means he was not expecting such a move,' offered Lachesis.

'I think we should call in Thanatos.'

There was another knock on the door. Lachesis opened it, expecting Thanatos. Instead, it was a minor entity from Purgatory, handing out some sort of subpoena. Actually it was the order of Lady Justice setting a date for the official hearing, allowing the parts to invite up to three guests as witnesses. Hermione was invited to see the document. In the meantime, Severus arrived.

'It means you will have to face him, my dear, face to face,' confirmed Chronos. 'Are you ready?'

She drew a long breath and answered, 'No. But I am getting there.'

Severus reminded, 'Satan won't know what hit him. As a mortal, this young lady here was deemed the brightest witch of her age.'

Chronos's eyes widened up. 'She was a witch? That really makes things interesting. Oh, it also says here that in addition to the witnesses, there will also be observers from both Heaven and Hell.'

Hermione asked, 'Who could they be?'

'High-ranking angels and demons, most probably princes,' said the Incarnation of Time. 'But I wouldn't put it past Satan to bring on his four pals.'

Hermione repeated, 'Four pals?'

'They are more commonly known as the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. You met one, already. He is a major incarnation. Did you know that?'

The younger aspect of Fate paled. Severus was Death, and of course there would be plenty of deaths in the end of days, as the Bible said. Was the man she loved an unwilling servant of Evil? Was Severus a minion of the Most Unfoul?

There was a silence in the room, but before the other aspects could react, Severus himself set the record straight, saying, 'Chronos is talking about Mars. War rides with them, in the red horse. The Antichrist rides the white one, Famine rides the pale one, and Disease rides the green horse. But despite his status as one of the Horsemen, War is a major incarnation. He is independent and not aligned with Satan.'

Hermione recalled, 'Mother Nature once said she couldn't understand why Mars kept him as company.'

Severus said, 'It is clear in the Bible that Death was not one of the Four Horsemen. But people always assumed so.'

He felt Hermione's hand on his cheek. 'You are so misunderstood, my love...' Severus smiled tenderly at her. They held hands.

Chronos cleared his throat, bringing them back to reality. 'I can see that the hearing is not far away. Should we hold a meeting to discuss strategy?'

'I think it would be wise,' said Severus. 'And we could call in some guests.'

In the end, it was agreed that the most useful guest would be Mother Nature. Although Mars was theoretically neutral, his presence in such a strategic meeting could give Satan an advantage. Not because Mars would sell them out to his devilish pal, but because The Most Foul was a very smart guy. So Mars could become a liability.

Severus was getting a bit fed up with those uncertainties. So he decided to act on them without telling the others.