1 - The author does not make any claims about any of the characters, concepts and situations depicted here. Tale for entertainment purposes only.
2 - Thanks for the support for this small history.
3 - Reviews more than welcomed.
"Andale, andale, andale, arriba!"
It took Tenya Iida a fraction of seconds to understand the starting order and react to it. Little beeper, at this point, was already several dozen meters ahead. Finally, he took off, keeping in mind the distance of the race and the speed he must maintain to win it. He pondered the disadvantage of not knowing a thing about the other racer. As advantage, some gadgets added to his uniform, courtesy of tech-girl Mei Hatsume, who gave up the tournament fight in his behalf.
One of these, a potent binocular on his visor, he would use now, to calculate the exact advantage of the racing bird on front of him… but what was that down the road?
A few minutes earlier. Wile E. Coyote was lecturing his protégé, Calamity Coyote, poiting things on a blackboard. There, a sketch of the roadrunner looking himself at a mirror, and the words "use roadrunner's vanity", an "X" on the floor under the bird and a huge rock held by a rope right above him.
Calamity nodded approvingly, and started to set the trap. The last piece was the full-length mirror. The small coyote was carrying it with difficulty when Tenya, having let Little Beeper in the dust, appeared at his side.
"What are you doing, little one?" Before he could open his mouth, the class president continued to talk, making his large gestures "safety in the first place, small one. Mirrors are dangerous. To transport one, you must wrap it in sturdy paper or bubble-wrap, and securely tied. We would not want a guest of UA get hurt. It is very important to follow…" Little Beeper zooned past them "the security procedures, always. So, please…"
Calamity got some paper and start wrapping the mirror. Behind a rock, Wile facepalmed.
"That's it, young one, in the name of all UA students and personal, I thank you." And started to run again, trying to reach the small roadrunner.
Finishing wrapping the mirror, Calamity looked around trying to find a string, and pulled the rope holding the boulder instead. Wile E Coyote, sensing the danger, rushed to take Calamity out of the "X".
That was when the boulder felt, crushing both.
Wile tried again, pointing to a blueprint marked "classic". There, schematics for dropping metallic pellets on the road, covering them with bird seed and, after the roadrunner ate then, put on a belt with a gigantic magnet and, wearing roller skates, let the magnetic forces take you to the bird without effort.
Calamity nodded again, and rushed to start to set the new trap, just in time Iida was looking ahead one more time. And again he sprinted ahead of his calculations, leaving Little Beeper spinning around on his place, not understanding what just passed him.
"Wait a minute, visitor." Again Calamity was facing the crazy gesturing man, who was pointing the bird seed he just dropped on the asphalt. "I don't know the way it works in your country or dimensions, but the way you work here is simple: the road belongs to all inhabitants of Japan, and we all pay some money to keep it in pristine conditions. If people start to throw garbage on it…" again Little Beeper ran through, a mere blur of orange and red "…more people must be hired to clean, meaning we must pay even more money, and that's not something I want to do. Or worst, the money is the same, and the government will just take it from the superheroes fund to clean the road. And you don't want me or my colleagues to be jobless, do you?" Calamity shook his head, Tenya Iida passed him a broom (don't ask from where it came), and the coyote started to sweep the road. Nodding approvingly, the UA student went to catch up with the roadrunner again.
Calamity cleaned the road, and threw the seed and metallic spheres on a nearby trash can. In a flash, a garbage truck collected it. Wile E. Coyote, sensing the danger, tried to untie the magnet from his waist, without luck. He was soon pulled in direction to the truck, leaving at full speed. On his way, he crashed onto Calamity Coyote, who was now a impromptu passenger on his shoulders. Wile kept trying to take out the belt with the magnet, gaining more and more speed; finally he took the device out, sighing in relief. Just to notice that the truck made a sharp turn but they, without the magnet, kept the momentum and left the road to fall from a cliff.
Wile was now tapping the black board furiously, highlighting the words "neutralize the hero first" followed by a schematic of a large metal sheet disguised as a billboard, with a hidden spring action hidden. The next drawings show a sketchy Iida looking at the billboard, then it moving sideways at full speed knocking the hero out and becoming a barrier on the road that should stop the roadrunner. A superfast and deadly door, so to speak.
Both coyotes took to paint the face of the trap with a rendition of The Birth of Venus, but with Coyote replacing the main subject. The oldest went to hide, while Calamity put on the finish touches on it.
And again Tenya Iida arrived on a flash.
"Look, little one, it will pain me to say so, because as a hero I am all for the freedom of expression, but you need an authorization to put a billboard near the road. Let me see your papers." Calamity took a few steps away, pretending to rummage for something on a bag, while Wile released the trap. Or at least, he imagined he did, as the spring mechanism didn't moved. He tried a gentle push, with the tip of his fingers, and nothing happened.
"Really good composition, at any rate." Iida kept talking and gesticulating. "I can see some influence of Banksy and his ironic takes on famous opus of the past, as well as…"
The older coyote was now pushing it with all his might, without any luck.
"…pop art meets renaissance. Well, I see you have no authorization." Iida patted the smaller coyote. "Tell you what, after the race I will return to help you dismantle it, and will arrange a petition to put it inside an UA building, how about that?" At this moment, Little Beeper dashed by on his way to the end of the race. "I will see you later." said Iida, returning to the race.
Wile got out of his hiding place to the front of the metallic billboard, scratching his head, thinking about what could have happened, when the trap was activated, hitting and catapulting both coyotes far back, in the direction of a cliff.
Some time later, a frustrating Calamity watched his mentor looking for something on a chest, extracting from it an old book. Blowing the dust away from its cover, what caused Calamity to sneeze, he showed the smaller one the title: "Hypnotism". Then, he opened on a marked page "Lesson 11: how to make someone jump of a cliff", giving it to Calamity to study it.
Iida and Little Beeper were head to head when the small referee appeared at his side.
"Andale, andale, there's just three kilometers to go, EEEEEEEE-RAH!" and raced to the finishing line.
Iida lungs were starting to burn, his sprints to talk with the coyote starting to sho its effects, still, he thought about how the school honor depended on him and… and he saw the coyote kid alone in the middle of the road. Again rushing beyond his limits, he went to the smaller one front.
"Look, do I have to teach you basic road safet…"
And stopped watching the small creature made some gestures and looking straight to his very polished and reflective armour. Being hit by the hypnotic stare in a mirror effect, Calamity went straight to the cliff.
"Kid? What are you…" Noticing Calamity was about to jump, Iida sprinted in and caught the kid just before the fall. Beyond somewhere, Wile E. Coyote facepalmed and went to meet the duo.
Iida was having problems holding a small coyote who was trying to leave his arms to jump on the Cliff, when the larger creature arrived at his side, and snapped his fingers three times. Calamity Coyote blinked, looked at the cliff and hug onto Iida in terror, with all his might. Wile managed to pry the kid from the hero, assuring him that everything's under control. At the distance, they heard the faint noises of Little Beeper winning the race.
"Well, that's it. I lost, but at least I did it with honor, doing the job of a hero. Well I have to, at least, finish the race. I'd like to see you away from here." Said Iida, starting to run. "Not only the cliff is dangerous, but the area is so unstable fingers snapping can cause the rocks above to collapse."
Wile and Calamity looked at the older one hand, at the same time they start to feel some pebbles on their heads, and a huge shadow growing under their feet. Wile opened a very small umbrella to get some protection and braced for impact.
At the finishing line, Iida was lecturing his colleagues about the importance of keeping the honor and values above everything – well, the colleagues that were inclined to listen, Midoriya and Uraraka.
"You are right, señor Iida." Speedy Gonzales was at his side "You are studying to be a hero, no? And made no excuses and did what a hero should, even costing you the race. Little Beeper, on the other hand, made nothing funny the whole race. As el árbitro, I declare this point goes to UA. Felicitaciones! Arriba!"
UA Academy 2 vs 1 ACME University.
3 challenges gone, 4 to go. Next chapter, two points in dispute, and Minoru "Grape Juice" Mineta in action – there goes the K+ rating…
Tale will end in three chapters.