Lost Tears

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Merlin, but someday I will!

A/N: HOLY CRAPOLA! 50 REVIEWS! Daaaaaaaaang! You guys totally rock! Oh and special notice to skyless11 for having the longest review!

And one more warning this chapter will probably be boring but it's a filler.

Chapter 9

Merlin looked down at the boxes surrounding him. He watched as his mother moved back in forth pushing and moving the cardboard structures. Merlin held a wooden dragon clasped in his small hands. Merlin felt tears in the corners of his eyes.
"do we have to go mommy?" he asked softly, and the brunette woman turned to her only son.

"I know you don't want to, grá(1), but we can't stay here." Merlin gazed into those warm blue eyes of his mother. He clutched on to the wooden toy even harder.
"why?" he whispered softly, sniffling as he did so. But his mother didn't hear.

"why don't you help me put the boxes in the car." she smiled sweetly, but her smile was off. Merlin may have only been a seven year old, but he could feel something wrong with his mother. He remembered when his mother had decided they were moving.

It had started with a call...Merlin couldn't, not even for the live of him, remember who the call was from but when his mother picked it up her face had become pale and grim.

He remembered, when he was hiding behind the wall listening, that his mother was having an argument with the person on the other line, how they had argued about places to live. He remembered how his mother had been persistent to stay in Ireland. But it seemed like that wasn't meant to be.

He remembered how his mother had spoken of England, wherever that was, and then America, which Merlin had been equally confused about. Maybe they weren't that far away. Maybe he'd still be able to visit...who? Merlin didn't have any friends.

But yet he still didn't want to leave.

But that was four days ago. Now was the day they were moving to America. To live with his uncle Gauis. Merlin didn't want to leave, he loved it here, he liked how there was space for him to run and be free, and to be able to do his magic. When he was younger and lived in Dublin he had been scolded many times for using magic, because there were other people around, not much, but still. And the ones that were around were extremely nosey. Merlin remembered when he was younger maybe about five or four an older lady had pointed a wrinkled finger at him and shouted,
"leanbh ollphéist(2)!" Merlin had felt awful afterwards and had ran home crying to his mother.

Merlin eyed his mother as she picked up a few more boxes and placed them into their truck. She started to tie down a few more objects and all Merlin could do was watch. He sat down on the wooden steps leading to his old house. He watched as his mother wiped some of her tears away. She gazed over at their house, she walked forward placing her hand on a pillar and stroked the wood lovingly.
"I'm sorry my grá, I'm sorry we have to leave our house Balinor." she whispered and held a hand out to her son. Merlin looked up at her and clutched the wooden dragon to his chest. He slowly got up and grabbed his mother's soft warm hand.

"come on." she whispered and led Merlin into the blue truck. She opened the door and placed Merlin on the seat and pulled the seatbelt over his skinny frame.

She then went around the car and slid into the driver's seat.
"you ready sweetie?" Merlin nodded and watched as they left their house behind with their old life.

They were going to the airport. Merlin had never been on a plane before. He wondered what it was like. He placed his forehead on the cold glass and watched the sheep go by, this was probably the last time he was going to see them. He didn't know exactly what America was like but he was sure it wasn't like his home. Suddenly they skidded to a stop. Merlin looked up to see a man with black clothes on. A bandanna covered half of his face.

The small seven year old felt his mother tense up next to him.
"stay in the car honey okay?" the boy looked over to his mom. She smiled at him but there was fear in her soft blue eyes.
"mommy?" he whispered as she slid out of her seat and pushed the door open.
"stay." she commanded him. Turning around she slowly walked over to the man before him and all Merlin could do was get on his knees, grip his toy dragon, and watch his mother walk to her doom. She reached him and started to talk, Merlin strained to hear them even though the doors were closed and the windows up.

Vans drove up and men piled out, each with their own black guns pointed at his mouse and him. Merlin pulled on the door and ran to his mother.
"MAM!" he yelled out as he stumbled to his mother, crashing into her and hugging onto her legs.
"Dúirt mé leat chun fanacht sa charr.(3)" the boy shook his head and watched as a woman in white stepped out. Her blond hair was slightly curled and she had big brown eyes. Even though those eyes appeared to be warm they were anything but that.

"it's her." Merlin whispered softly as his mother turned to her and hugged him closer to her. Hunith looked down at him in confusion and the woman walked closer and kneeled down before him.
"I have a son like you, you know." she spoke as she pulled Merlin's chin up.
"but he's not as strong as you are." She giggled and patted his head.
"your power will be mine." she whispered, placing her palm on his forehead, and Merlin's mind instantly flashed back to what happened to his dad.

He squished up his eyes and hugged onto his mother tighter but nothing happened.
"Ow!" Merlin opened his eyes to see the blonde's eyes gold. She hissed and Merlin's eyes widened to see her hand burned.
"Get away from my son!" Merlin's mother hugged him closer and pulled him away from the blond lady.

A brunette ran next to the woman and looked confused as she cuddled her hand.
"what's wrong?" he asked speedily. The blonde woman didn't turn to the man but eyed the small seven year old.

"he's to strong to take away his abilities." she whispered. The man's eyes widened.
"he's not just a Dragonlord, are you sweetie?" she asked looking into Merlin's sapphire eyes. Merlin didn't reply.
"Muhammad!" she shouted and the man that had stepped in front of their truck ran forward.
"yes madam?" she smiled sweetly at the man.

"take the boy, kill the mom." and with that she left, and one of Merlin's worst memories started to play out. All the while a small wooden dragon sat in the passenger seat of a big blue truck.

-

Arthur sat next to his bed and watched his new crush. Merlin's eyes were closed and he seemed to be serene. But he could see sweat budding on his forehead.

His nose was bleeding. Gauis had not been helpful, at all. Arthur knew he shouldn't have yelled at the elder man but...Merlin needed help, and Arthur didn't know what to do. Merlin's nose was still bleeding and he couldn't stop it.

Arthur brushed away some of Merlin's black hair away from his sweaty forehead and missed his lips softly. He sighed and pulled back. What was he thinking? Did he think Merlin was sleeping beauty or snow white? Yes. He most deffinetly was snow white.

Arthur shook his head ridding the thought from his mind. Now was time for answers.

Arthur stood up and looked down at the teen as he took shallow breaths, then turning quickly he bundled out the door and down the steps to the kitchen. Gauis sat at the table drinking some coffee, Arthur could see the steam floating up towards the ceiling. Morgana was next to him, her eyes red and puffy.

Arthur slammed his fist against the table. Morgana jumped at the noise and Gauis looked up casually.
"I WANT ANSWERS!" he shouted out. Gauis sighed softly and looked at Arthur, raising an eyebrow so high, Gauis's classic look.
"I may have them if you ask the right questions."

Arthur slid into the seat and eyed the elderly man, whose eyebrow was still raised.
"who is Nimueh?" Arthur commanded. Gauis grabbed his forehead and dragged his hand down running it along his face.
"Nimueh was a co-worker of mine. She, like Merlin, had abilities. She had this idea, that people with these abilities were more...evolved. She somehow had twisted herself in those lies, so she went and started a school, searching out for young minds who needed molding. It had started out nicely, she wasn't always so crazy. But over time she believed that they were the future and that the rest of the humans should have been their slaves. She had asked me to join her-"
"wait, why?" Arthur interrupted, his face holding a confused look.
"I was like Merlin, but I am weak, as is Morgana." Arthur stopped and looked over to his half sister, her red rimmed eyes widened.
"but anyways, I had said no. Over time we shut down the program and returned the children to their homes, but it was to late; she had already planted that seed of superiority within their minds. Slowly they started attacking by making it look like natural causes, like what happened in Japan, the earthquake and the tsunami that was one of her pupils." Arthur's eyes widened and Morgana put a hand to her mouth.
"but she was getting older, and weaker, so she did the only thing she knew she could do, picked up another child to mold. This one was named Morgouse." Morgana jumped from her seat.
"What! No! That's not possible! I'm friends with Morgouse! She's practically my sister!" Gauis sighed and rubbed his wrinkled forehead as if trying to rid himself of the stress and memories within him.

"no, the Morgouse you knew is gone now, she had been so talented, so young and bright, Nimueh had taught her everything she knew as if she was her daughter. At first I thought she had turned a new leaf, realized her mistakes, but I was...I was wrong. She was training Morgouse and then when Morgouse was mature and old enough, Nimueh stole her body." Morgana kept shaking her head and Gauis placed his hand over hers.
"I'm sorry child, but Morgouse is no more." Arthur felt sick, what kind of twisted lady was this woman?
"but why does she want Merlin?" Gauis peered over at the blonde.

"she still wanted control over the world, and so she decided she needed a weapon strong enough, so she had a son, that poor child." Gauis whispered softly.

"what was his name?" Arthur asked softly.

"Mordred."

-

Merlin sat down on the hard dirt floor, today was his fourteenth birthday. But no one seemed to care. He took in a deep breath and slowly released it. Today had been a hard day. He had been forced to take out a british intelligence unit. He felt bad about it, those poor people inside, they probably had families.

His neck itched. So he scratched it. But as he scratched and scratched he could feel the blood already dripping from his fingernails. He had his collar on. Morgouse only put it on when he was bad, and it repulsed all his magic, making him sick, he had tried to escape after destroying the B.I.U. But she had stopped him. Now the collar was placed on him and he felt the bile itching to come out his throught, and the blood within him was already rushing out his nose.

"hey." Merlin looked up, wiping blood away from his nose, leaving a streak of blood behind, and saw a boy. He had never seen this boy before. The boy looked a couple of years younger than himself, he had brunette hair and ice cold blue eyes. His skin was oddly pale.
"Who are you?" Merlin asked peering up at the younger male. The boy raised an eyebrow at him.
"Mordred, and you're Emyrs253." Merlin nodded.

"but how does this have anything to do with Merlin?" Morgana whispered out, she seemed to be in shock.
"well you see, she was powerful, so she thought if she had a son he would be more powerful or just as much as her, but he wasn't. He was strong, yes, but not as strong as she had anticipated. So she set out to find another child."

-

"hello Mordred." Merlin offered holding up his hand. Those cold eyes eyed Merlin's hand and then looked back up to him. Merlin slowly lowered his hand.

"I don't like you." Mordred spoke unemotionally. Merlin raised his eyebrows.
"why not? I haven't done anything to you have I?" the small boy looked around and then turned back to him,
"mom likes you better than me." he said angrily, almost growling. Merlin furrowed his eyebrows, a look of confusion crossing over his face.

"Mom?" Merlin asked in a wary voice.
"yes mom, the blonde lady!" Mordred's voice was strict and furious.
"you mean Morgouse? She seems alittle to young to be your mom." Merlin pointed out. The small boy looked away, his anger disipating.
"she didn't always look like that." the young boy offered in a calm voice, but as soon as it came, it was gone. Mordred turned to him and growled.

"I want you to go away." he stated in a hateful voice.
"I do too." Merlin sighed out.
"then why don't you?" he yelled out, suddenly Merlin's eyes widened.
"you can help me!"

-

"so she set out to get Merlin." Arthur asked, gazing into those old somber eyes of Gauis's.
"no." Morgana snapped her head up, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"she set out to find a Dragonlord." Gauis took in a deep breath and released it out slowly.
"what's a Dragonlord?" Morgana asked slowly, Arthur detected a small whiff of sobs in her voice.

-

"help you! Why would I do such a thing!" Merlin jumped up and placed his hands on the boy's skinny shoulders.
"becuase if you help me, I leave, and you get your mother's attention again!" oh! It was just too perfect! The smaller boy seemed to be dwelling on the thought but then a smile light up his face.
"okay, what do I have to do?" Merlin smiled happily, HE WAS GETTING OUT!
"I need you to take his off." he pointed to the collar that was adorned on his neck.

-

"A Dragonlord is someone with very powerful powers. I don't know the full extent to what they can do but I know it's quite destructive. You see the Dragonlords had been wiped out of existence awhile ago becuase they were deemed to powerful to live. But Nimueh was convinced that they were hiding out somewhere. You see Hunith, my sister, had fallen in love with a man named Balinor and..." he took in a deep breath as if reliving a nightmarish memory.

"and he was a Dragonlord, wasn't he Gauis?" Arthur asked and all the elderly man could do was nod.

-

Mordred was whispering words Merlin didn't understand and his eyes flashed gold. Each time he did so, the collar would slacken so over time it would fall off, or at least that was what Merlin was hoping for. Suddenly the metal collar fell loose and landed on the floor with a dull thud. Merlin gazed down at that hated necklace. But he then turned to the young boy before him, a smile spreading across his lips.
"Thank you Mordred. Ní dhéanfaidh mé dearmad ar do cineáltas(4)." with that Merlin started to destroy the facility, making sure Mordred was safe, and killing everyone he had come to hate. that was when his life was flipped upside down.

That was when he used his power to much.

That was when Mordred had come to hate him.

That was when he was placed into the glass tube.

That was when he slept for three years waiting to be strong enough to call out to his soulmate, Arthur.

-

"but Gauis if Merlin's dad was the Dragonlord, what did that have anything to do with Merlin?" Arthur asked desprettly.
"when I heard of her plans, I told them to move to the country in Ireland, to stay on the downlow, but it didn't help. She found Balinor and used a forbidden technique on him, she was going to steal all his abilities, but instead the abilities moved on to the next one in line for the power, and that was Merlin."

A/N: HERE IT IS! YAY! Flashbacks from Merlin, and Gauis filling everyone in on why Nimueh is sooooooo messed up.
And guess what guys, Mordred is in this too! SO REVIEW!

(1)love
(2)monster child
(3)I told you to stay in the car.
(4) I will never forget your kindness.